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About the Cover Who Protects the Protectors? Living & Loving the Farm House Life From Us To You Spotlight on Burleson County Professional Directory Wet Pants From Pasture to Plate Just Wanted to Say Thanks Holiday Favorites The Glass is Half Full County Crime is Part of Our History The Most Toys Being Human Through the Flames On the Day I Die Renewable Energy for a Sustainable World The Flag Who Will Protect You? Incredible Coconut Cake Rabies: What You Should Know No Rules, No Law, No Order! Six Questions to Ask Older Parents Grace Personal Responsibility Make the Healthy Choice Bluegills U Redear Sunﬁsh Monk Eye’s Mohawk Arrogrant Rich Girl Story Because of Love Small Town Law Enfocement Shay: God’s Plan Don’t Mess with Texas Memory Enhancing Tips Become More Self Sufﬁcient Wallowing in Pink Pajamas

Who Protects the Protectors? Is it the “Integrity” Police? Integrity is a concept of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, & principles, expectations, & outcomes. It can be regarded as the opposite of hypocrisy. Who do you think protects the protectors? Interesting question.When we think of someone or something protecting those who protect us, it’s not an immediate answer. Most would say law and order is what protects the protectors. Although there are many instances where this is not an absolute, many times protectors are needed when law, order or rules may have been broken or at least challenged. This is the time we most often experience that those who protect must now intervene. Yet, often times their greatest protection is the very laws, rules, and order they are called to uphold. Think of it this way. Someone decides he should drive faster than the speed limit because he’s a great driver and in a big hurry so what’s the harm, right? The problem is he doesn’t know the road well, or realize someone on the side of the road is pulling out just over the hill, or possibly just how close he is to oncoming traffic when he goes to pass another. This all started with a law that has now been broken. When there is an accident in an instance like this, immediately the (protectors) police or some law enforcement agency offer emergency medical professionals and the fire department may be involved. All these individuals are there to protect and serve. They come to protect those in the accident and others who might quickly become part of the accident. Someone goes camping, he is in an area that clearly says no campfires. Feeling as though someone else may not be as capable as this person he decides to have a small campfire anyway; no one will really know, right? Then he quickly realizes due to no moisture and dry grounds, this probably wasn’t such a great idea. The small fire starts spreading and he tries to put out. It becomes bigger, and by the time fire professionals are notified, (who are not easily accessible in this area) things have gone seriously wrong. Who protects those who live near the forest? Who protects those that live in the forest? Who is it that will work to safely remove the campers who didn’t obey the rules or the law? The protectors do. If you’ve ever watched a demonstration, you’ve noticed that even though signs carried may send a message that is strong, opinionated, even disrespectful however; the behavior of the individuals remains respectful. This is because law and order are in place. Freedom of speech is a law. A peaceful demonstration as they have been called rarely incites violence. It is when the demonstration evolves to more aggressive behavior by either party that law and order must be restored. The protectors oftentimes do not know who the actual threat is. Perhaps there are 1000 demonstrators and only one or two throw something or do something that incites panic and

mayhem. It is in this instant that the protectors must do what they have been trained to do: to restore the law and order as best they can. It isn’t always a “crowd pleaser” when many are carted off because of one or two who make a threat. Please don’t misunderstand what I am communicating. Someone must function in the role of law and order. You will always find those who abuse their position for power in almost any role in society. However, protector is not a position that I would want to be in daily in today’s culture. What about you? Would you be willing to take a risk every day that you leave your safe home to protect others? Many think not. Those who protect and serve are exceptional. They are often influenced early in life by a family member, a mentor, or an image of what they believe and have been taught the protectors represent: enforcement of law, order, and to protect the public. Protectors are to be respected and honored for the sacrifices they, along with their families, make every day. Consider another thought. What would people answer for what “integrity police” might mean to them? In other words, how would you define integrity and who polices yours? Often said, integrity is who you are when no one is looking. What do you do when you know that you will not get caught? It could be said the integrity police in fact are any of us in the public who know right from wrong and make a choice about what we can do versus what we will do every day. We are our own integrity police. How do you think children understand integrity, law and order, or develop respect for these behaviors? They watch you, they watch me, they watched teachers, they watch preachers, they watch leaders, they watch classmates, they watch those on social media. They learn by the behaviors that are modeled around them. I think of an instance many years ago. I was in a position with a company where I worked from home and had multiple business lines into my home office. I answered the phone very innocently when a solicitor wanted to speak to a lady of the house. I quickly responded, “I’m sorry she is not available.” With very little dialog the call was over and I went on about my business. It wasn’t until later that evening my son asked my husband, “Daddy what does it mean when mommy is not available?” When I thought about a simple inconvenient phone call affecting my integrity. In that moment there was a combination of embarrassment, sadness, and disrespect for innocence. Although you could surmise that I hadn’t really caused any real harm, it didn’t take away the sick feeling of knowing I had just

will do when no one is looking or you can get by with it, for it is your own integrity that you police. Only you know how you will handle the situation when it is your child or grandchild who breaks the law or rules and your integrity is at risk. Each of us knows what we will do when it is our own integrity that needs to be policed. We won’t be perfect; it’s been written so. We can however, help to protect our protectors by policing our own integrity in our daily changed the way my son looked at “the truth” from me. He was actions. Making choices that model the behavior we want our chilyoung, there was only one “she” in the house at the time. We go dren and grandchildren to model for a future starts today. Model to church, he had heard, Thou Shalt Not Lie and just didn’t un- the value of gratitude, honor and respect today, and do something derstand. How could I ever recover from this without yet another else, write a quick note, pay for a lunch without being identified, ofstretch of “my” truth? Truth is, I was too busy to talk. Why didn’t fer a word of encouragement to the protectors you come in contact with. Your children and grandchildren are watching, and they I just say that? Why don’t we just do what’s right? We all know of instances where law, order, or rules are broken, are surely listening! maybe broken just slightly or maybe stretched slightly. Perhaps it would be a greater loss if the truth were known about the rule or JoAn Majors is a professional speaker and law that was broken by the person. Just ask yourself, “according published d author. auth Her articles have appeared to whom?” Who decides what rules are flexible and which are not? in overr 25 national nat and international magaWhen we protect our children, grandchildren, workers, siblings or zines and d newsletters. new She writes articles regothers from the consequences of breaking rules or the law, what ularlyy forr man many magazines. She is a devoted are we really doing? Is it really beneficial in the long run? What wife, motherr and a grandmother who also suphappens when you are not there to compromise the outcome next ports in the ma marketing efforts for her husband, time? Not to say that anyone we know is perfect, they’re not! HowDr. Chuck Majors Maj at MajorSmiles.com. You can learn more m at www.joanmajors.com or ever, isn’t it easier to maintain law and order with rules rather than calll 1.866.5 1.866.51.CHOICE. to restore it after it has been broken? Most would say yes. Who are the protectors if there is no law and order? I would challenge you to believe that on the basic level we are each our own integrity police. That we all agree it would be easier to maintain law and order than restore law and order? Only you know what you

Protectors are to be respected and honored.

Only you know what you will do when no one is looking....

Living & Loving the

Farm House Life The big farm-style home located at 707 North Gray Street in Caldwell, Texas, has recently become the home of Kevin and Stacey Teague, and their three year old daughter Ava. The house was originally moved onto its present site in the 60’s. Over the years, it has been changed into the spacious home it is today. Sitting on an acre and a half, it offers the middle ground between town and country life. Shortly after moving back to the area, Stacey stumbled on this house for sale and was taken by the amazing front porch that spans the entire width of the house. The house brought back memories of her youth, a time when she actually jogged by this exact house and had thoughts of wanting to live in a house like it one day. When going to view the home for purchase, she fell in love before even going inside. The porch was the convincing quality that led Kevin and Stacy to purchase it. They both had visions of sitting on the porch with their coffees in the mornings, or their lemonades in the summer evenings, watching Ava play with their two boxer pups in the wonderful front yard with its mature trees. They immediately began to make the house their own while

Kevin & Stacey Teague keeping the farm-style charm. The roomy four bed room, two bath home’s updates include Kevin’s man-cave, as well as a nursery for a second baby girl on the way. Stacey and Kevin both grew up in Caldwell and have strong family ties to the area. Both Caldwell High graduates, they left the area, with Stacey attending Texas A&M and Kevin spending time in Austin, San Marcos, and finally College Station, where they met and later married in 2010. Their first years of married life were spent in Houston. Presently Kevin works for Sheridan Production Company out of the Caldwell field office. He began with them in 2011, and knew then he was being given an opportunity he could not pass up. Stacey works at Citizens State Bank as their Compliance Officer and Internal auditor. She loves working for the bank and realizes that the community feel and phenomenal co-workers were what she was missing during her time away from home. Their growing family, their love of community and work, and their spacious home fill their lives!

rrom om us to you

Editors Note Dear Readers,

e hope your summer has gone well, and that you’ve enjoyed the hot days (and nights) of Burleson County Texas. New comers to August in Texas are amazed at the temperatures. But, we Texans are a resilient breed, aren’t we? As we look to finishing out 2016, we are aware of the positives and negatives of our country today. In our small towns, we enjoy a bit slower pace and a saner day-to-day life style, most often. However, we are aware of changes that are or have affected America: Law enforcement controversies, Islamic extremist growth and cruelty, lack of economic growth, with a present 1 % GNP, and movement toward our 2nd Amendment rights being changed. With these realities in mind, we’ve chosen one of the issues as the theme of this edition of the Front Porch: “Who Protects you…when there is no law and order?” History has proven that law and order must be an inherent right for any society to survive. We value you, dear readers. And we are grateful for your support and comments. Sincerely Sandi Balcar Publisher Scarlette Taylor Editor and Advertising Manager

potlight on

Burleson County’s

Unique Heritage

People in all walks of life influence those around them. In this column, we will be featuring those who have made an impact in our small towns.

VIRGIL GRIFFIN Remembering America’s Buffalo Soldiers America’s Buffalo soldiers have an advocate in Virgil Griffin! His military heritage obviously influenced his life: his father retired from the military, and a great uncle, James Villearl, Jr. of Caldwell, was actually a Buffalo soldier. He served in the Ninth Calvary Troop K and was honorably discharged June 29, 1919. Virgil was born in Silinas, Kansas, Smoky Hill AFB as a result of his father’s military service; however, his education from elementary to his graduation from high school in 1973 came through Caldwell ISD.

Griffin’s personal involvement with the Buffalo Soldiers began when he was living in Los Angeles, California, where he attended college. He met a local artist/historian whose art work depicted the Buffalo soldiers and the Black cowboy. He asked Griffin to represent the Buffalo soldier. As a result, Virgil’s interest and involvement grew. He became a Life Member in the 9th and 10th (Horse) Calvary Association, where he served as Color Guard Commander in the Los Angeles Chapter. He, along with others, did reenactments of the 9TH &10th Cal-

James Villearl, Jr. Caldwell, Texas vary riding in parades and providing Honor Guards for various civic organizations. In 1995, Griffin rode as a Buffalo Soldier in the 106th Tournament of Roses Parade, and he will ride again in the tournament this coming January 2, 2017. His involvement over the years has led to greater awareness. In July 2016, Houston, Texas, hosted the 150th anniversary of the Buffalo Soldiers.

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professional directory Air Conditioning-Installation & Repair Nathan’s A-See Weaver’s Refrigeration Author CorbyBrizendine Automobile Parts-Supplies-Repairs Burleson County Motor Supply dBm Auto Repair Kwik Kar Wilde Auto Plus Automobile Sales-Detail Douglass Nissan Milton Hodges -Caldwell Country Banks Citizens State Bank BarBQ Matus BarBQ Beef - Local - All Natural Diamond A Ranch Beef Burleson County Events Fair Association Chemicals Project Chemicals Churches Church of Christ First Baptist City/Civic/Government Offices City of Caldwell City of Somerville Construction C & H Building Construction Richard Boyd Construction Convenience Store RockinG Copies/Printing/UPS/Fax Service ImageMaker Cosmetics Seacret Country Club Copperas Hollow Dentistry Drgac Dental MajorSmiles Michael K. Reese Rivers Family Dentistry Dozer Services Hubert Hoyack J7 Service Loehr Dozer Electrical Service Stevenson’s Electrical Feed Faust Farms Homeyer Feed & Supply Fencing Drgac Fencing

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Financials iRestore LPL Financial Funeral Home Phillips & Luckey Furniture Mc Rustic Health Care CHI St. Joseph Hospital CHI St. Joseph Skilled Nursing Prime My Body Hope Pregnancy Center Insurance Alford Insurance Company Texas Farm Bureau Livestock & Commission Caldwell Livestock Com. Lumber Company Woodson’s Lumber Company Nails So Gel Nails Pest Control Armstrong Pesticide Solutions Photograpy Schuman Photography Plumbing DP Plumbing Political Republican Party Real Estate Double “O” Team Home & Ranch Real Estate Polansky Realty Real Estate Listings Home & Ranch Restaurants & Catering Deanville Bar & Grill Golden Chick Lo Nuestro de Mexico Masfajitas Mexican Restaurant Super Donuts The Garden Spot Rock & Stone R&R Rock & Stone Roofing Richard Boyd Construction Polar Foam Septics Easy Flow Solar Texas Sustainable Solar Storage Mustang Storage Tax Preparers & Advisors Danny Koerth Truck-Auto-Tires-Supplies Burleson County Motor Supply Mitchell Tire Service Wilde Auto Plus

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Veterinarian BV-MVS Vitamins Roots & Shoots Water Well Drilling Loehr Drilling Co, Inc Welding & Fabricating C&H Welding & Fabrication Winery lussh Fatsolush

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SANDI BALCAR & SCARLETTE TAYLOR PUBLISHERS

SANDI BALCAR LAYOUT & DESIGN EDITOR

SCARLETTE TAYLOR ADVERTISING SALES EDITOR

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NEAL BEARD DOUG BOX SUZY COHEN EDWIN H. COOPER JOHN CORNYN TRACY FRANK TAMMY KUBECKA SHARON ANN LAFFERE EHLERT DR. KRISTEL LEUBNER, DO JOAN MAJORS DR. JACK MCKEMIE DVM THOMAS NORSWORTHY KAVON NOVAK RENITA ODSTRCIL DONNA VARNER PRESNAL MATTHEW RENNER DEL ROGERS, SR. TONY TAYLOR SCARLETTE TAYLOR EUGENNE THOMPSON POLLY WILLIAMS Phone 979.567.7871 979.567.6753 301 Hwy 21 E Caldwell, TX 77836 The contents of all articles do not represent the views of the Front Porch Magazine. The magazine claims no responsibility for the accuracy of information or content. 11

Wet Pants Courtesy of TruthBook.com

There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened.. It’s never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they’ll never speak to him again as long as he lives. The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays this prayer, ‘Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I’m dead meat.’ He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered. As the teacher is walking toward him, a class mate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy’s lap. The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, ‘Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!’ Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out..... All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful. But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else - Susie. She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. You’ve done enough, you klutz!’ Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers, ‘You did that on purpose, didn’t you?’ Susie whispers back, ‘I wet my pants once too.’

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. However, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zookeeper explains to the mime that the zoo’s most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly. The keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts. The next morning, before the crowd arrives, the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage. He discovers that it’s a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he gets bored just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion’s cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it. At the end of the day the zookeeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction as a gorilla. Well, this goes on for some time. The mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion, he slips and falls. The mime is terrified. The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, “Help, Help me!”, but the lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, “Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?”

From Pasture to Plate Over the last 40 years, Diamond A Ranch has been involved in many segments of the ranching business including the production of registered Brahman cattle, crossbred cow/calf, F-1 and replacement heifers, ownership and management of a local auction market, livestock transport business, and preconditioning and growing of stocker calves. In 2016 Diamond A Ranch decided to take its operations one step further and began a new venture, Diamond A Ranch Beef, which is owned by Jerry and Julie Armstrong and their three daughters Jessica, Katherine, and Melanie. After many years of eating our own beef, our three daughters had encouraged us to offer Diamond A Ranch Beef to others. They explained that people would love to have the option to purchase their beef directly from a ranch, and not from the grocery store. So Jerry told them, â€œIâ€™ll produce it, if you girls will sell it.â€? By picking select calves that were grown on pasture and then finishing them on locally grown grain with no hormones or antibiotics added during the 150 day finishing phase, we have been able to provide a natural, tender and tasteful product that also provides our customers with peace of mind in knowing how their beef was produced. The calves are harvested at a USDA inspected facility. Carcasses are dry aged for a minimum of 14 days, and then fabricated to our specifications. The individual cuts are then vacuum packaged and frozen with the Diamond A Ranch Beef label. The girls are all directly involved in the marketing and sales of the products. You will find pricing information on the facebook page: www.facebook.com/diamondaranchbeef, and the new website: www.diamondaranchbeef.com. We currently offer the following bulk packs: Grill Packs, Premium Steak Packs, and Family Packs. Additionally, customers can purchase individual cuts including: Briskets, ribs, steaks, roasts, and ground beef. Early feedback from customers has been very positive. Several comments received have been about the fresh taste and great flavor of the meat. This has helped us more clearly define our productâ€œYou Will Taste the Difference.â€? After all, you donâ€™t have to be a rancher to understand that nothing compares to the fresh taste of locally grown, ranch raised beef. Even though we have been producing cattle for over 40 years, finally providing our beef to consumers is a very personal and rewarding experience. Reasons to Choose Diamond A Ranch Beef t $BUUMF BSF QBTUVSF SBJTFE UIFO Ä•OJTIFE PO MPDBMMZ HSPXO HSBJO t $BUUMF BSF IBOEMFE XJUI MPX TUSFTT NBOBHFNFOU QSBDUJDFT t $BUUMF BSF "OUJCJPUJD )PSNPOF GSFF GPS B NJOJNVN PG day prior to harvest. t $BSDBTTFT BSF ESZ BHFE GPS B NJOJNVN PG EBZT t .FBU JT WBDVVN QBDLBHFE BOE GSP[FO UP SFUBJO PQUJNVN freshness.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, “You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea what some people will do to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?” Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, “Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?” Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity. Saint Peter is suitably impressed. “You really ARE Einstein!” he says. “Welcome to heaven!” The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials. Picasso asks, “Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?” Saint Peter says, “Go ahead.” Picasso erases Einstein’s equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk. Saint Peter claps. “Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!” he says. “Come on in!” Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, “Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?” George W. looks bewildered and says, “Who are Einstein and Picasso?” Saint Peter sighs and says, “Come on in, George.”

***************** One day when Clinton was still president he went on a jogging. On his way he ran into a little girl, thinking it would help his stature, he stopped. He said hello to the girl, and she asked if he would like a little puppy. “ They’re democrats.” He said, “No thanks.” The next week he saw the little girl again and thought what the heck? So he stopped and asked the little girl for a puppy, “Sorry, Mr.President,” she said, “Last week they were Democrats, but they’ve opened their eyes now, and they’re Republicans.”

Late one night a robber wearing a mask stopped a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. “Give me your money,” he demanded. Scandalized, the man replied, “You can’t do this – I’m a US Congressman!” “Oh! In that case,” smiled the robber, “Give me MY money!” ***************** Observing the baby one night a wife found her husband standing over their baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, scepticism. Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband. “A penny for your thoughts,” she said. “It’s amazing!” he replied. “I just can’t see how anybody can

make a crib like that for only $67.50.” When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31.

Just Wanted to Say THANKS Tony Taylor is currently an Athletic Director and teacher at McMullen High School in Tilden, Texas. He has been published in Coach Magazine.

I feel like I’m in Mrs. Taylor’s English IV class at Caldwell High School as I’ve procrastinated till the last minute to get my article done. I’ve been told to write about courage but I’m going to combine a few things within my article about that and public servants. I’m starting my 28th year in education and man has time flown by during this time. It just seems like yesterday when I was starting my first year at Mason High School. An individual doesn’t get into education to become rich “monetarily,” but when a student/athlete finally “gets it,” the reward is priceless. As I begin to write this article I want to say thanks to teachers/educators/coaches who were instrumental in shaping my life at an early age. I think of Kenny Hoffpauir who coached me at East Chambers High School when I was very immature as a freshman and sophomore. He had a way of motivating us that made us believe we were “way better than we actually were,” and we developed a mindset during this time where we won games against far superior talent. I think of the following people when we moved to Caldwell before the start of my junior year in high school who were placed in my path as I started to mature as a young man. I think of Coach Harry Daniels who I had as a teacher for Economics. He was a mountain of a man who had a love for students. I always loved Monday mornings because we would talk about the football game from the previous Friday night. There was Gladys Loehr who taught me typing. She just had this presence about her that made me never want to disappoint her. I can still remember giving up part of my lunch to practice for UIL typing with her. I think of Ed Presley as a principal; he had a “love” for kids regardless of who they were or what type of background they had. I think of Bobby Goforth, my high school football coach. He was a man who taught me that it was “OKAY” to be a Christian and introduced me to FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes). There are so many others that I could mention but these just come to mind as I start to write. My challenge to current teachers/coaches/administrators is to have the “courage” to believe in something with your students and to make a difference within their lives. As I heard a coach at a clinic a few years ago say about educators, “We’re the last line of defense for students when it comes to morals, values, and a belief system versus what society offers.” Many parents do a great job with their children but a trend I have seen here recently is that the “parenting”

by Tony Taylor

has fallen into the hands of the schools. I’ve asked myself this question many times, “Why is up to us to parent some other person’s child?” Well, I believe that we all have a calling in life and at times it might seem like a huge task but as I’ve stated earlier, when a student “gets it” whether it be behavior-attitude-respect-graduation, the reward is totally PRICELESS. With all of this being said, “ I want all school personnel to keep “fighting the good fight, have COURAGE to do what is right and set examples so students can pass what they have learned from you all to future generations.” I keep thinking of my dad, the late Richard Taylor, as I’m writing. His favorite actor was always John Wayne. I like a quote by the late actor. It went like this, “ Courage is having some fear about something but saddling up anyway and facing the challenge.” My dad was one of those guys who wasn’t afraid; I know there were times when he made tough decisions in education, but he always had the students in mind just like all of us do who have chosen this profession. The next round of THANKS goes out to the police officers who have a thankless job. A person wants to talk about COURAGE in society today? Well, look no further than the men and women who rise each morning and put on a badge to secure our safety. I’m talking about local and federal officials, highway patrol personnel, and anyone else who is part of the police/safety forces within our communities. How many of us would be willing to do what they do daily? We’ve all seen recently how tough a job this is for law enforcement. All I can say is that you all are HEROES and I can’t say “Thank You” enough. I’d be wrong to not mention Firefighters, Armed Forces Personnel and EMT people as well; you all “put your life on the line daily” and provide services and FREEDOM that I and others take for granted. I’m sure there are times that ALL of these people mentioned in the article thus far think, “Why am I doing this? Do I really make a difference? I wonder if anyone notices what I’m doing?” Well, the answer is YES, Many times OVER and OVER. I know this, I’m guilty of taking things for granted within our society and shame on me for this, but I’m committed to make a conscious effort to PRAY for our public servants to continue to have “COURAGE” during trying times, to “fight the good fight for we will someday reap what we sow” and as the late Jim Valvano said, “TO NEVER GIVE UP!!” Have a Blessed Day!!

HOLIDAY FAVORITES By Sharon Laffere Ehlert

Fruit & Cheese Pie

As newlyweds, my husband and I are trying to combine our favorite holiday traditions. Spending time with family and friends is always at the top of our list. Other favorites include attending church services, visiting Christmas tree farms, viewing light shows, watching holiday movies, decorating the tree, and cooking and baking classic recipes. In previous issues, I shared some of my favorite holiday recipes. In this issue, I will share one of my husbandâ€™s favorites. This recipe was passed down from his grandmother.

1 graham cracker pie crust 1 package of cream cheese (8 oz.) 1 can of sweetened condensed milk (14 oz.) 1 tsp. vanilla Juice of 1 lemon 1 cup cherry pie filling (or your favorite fruit topping) In a mixing bowl, beat the softened cream cheese until fluffy. Add the sweetened condensed milk, vanilla, and lemon juice and blend thoroughly. Pour the mixture into the pie crust. Chill in the refrigerator for a few hours. Top with the cherry pie filling or any fruit topping of your choice.

Enjoy with family and friends, and have a joyous Thanksgiving and Christmas!

The Glass is Half Full: How Positive Thinking Affects Your Health Kristel Leubner, DO Specialty: Family Medicine Dr. Kristel Leubner grew up in rural Hamshire, Texas, dreaming of becoming a physician in a community much like her own. She had an unusual childhood curiosity about the body, illness, and how it was connected at a very early age, and that has been the fuel behind her love of what she does. In her eyes, each patient story is a unique puzzle waiting to be put together. After attending the University of Texas, she received her medical degree from the University of North Texas Health Science Center, Texas College of Osteopathic Medicine. Dr. Leubner became a family medicine practitioner because she enjoys caring for patients of all ages. She chose to practice at HealthPoint because she found its principle of providing patient-centered wellness consistent with her own. Dr. Leubner practices medicine with a holistic approach, realizing that mental and physical health are intricately connected.

Common quotes in my practice include, “I have too much to do so I don’t have time to be sick!” and “If I don’t acknowledge the illness, it will go away.” I laugh when I hear this, but they may be onto something. Does this type of thinking correlate with a positive outcome? The research says, “Yes!” Resilience describes a healthy body able to rebound from stress and disease. A number of attitudes and behaviors such as acceptance, optimism, humor, cognitive flexibility, religion/spirituality, selflessness, social support, and moderate physical activity have been shown to strengthen the body’s ability to sustain or restore resilience. They also protect against wear and tear on the body. These skills can be learned and are recognized as making a difference in people’s lives. After all, if we remain active and embrace life, we have less of a propensity to partake in unhealthy habits such as smoking, substance abuse, and the overuse of analgesics, which are medications used to relieve pain. Leading a non-sedentary lifestyle, promotes wellness. Healthy eating habits and good sleep patterns are known to decrease the incidence of chronic illness. Additionally, spiritual-

ity and religion positively influence a patient’s response to medical decision making, coping skills, and quality of life. These things are obvious to most. What may not be well known, however, is that studies have shown that poorly treated depression or excess emotional stress remains a positive risk factor for cardiovascular disease, both in healthy subjects and in those with pre-existing cardiovascular disease. In addition, anger appears to have a negative effect on cardiovascular health and can adversely affect general medical disorders due to increased association with tobacco abuse, increased heart rate and stress hormone production, lack of adherence to physician treatment regimens, increased risk of high blood pressure, peptic ulcers and chronic pain. Anger in response to stress may be related to premature heart attacks in men. Seasonality has also been linked to cardiovascular disease. More cardiovascular related disease occurs in the winter months, when patients are indoors, not as active, and not exposed to warm sunshine. Vitamin D, specifically Vitamin D3, is derived from sunshine and fatty fish. Patients who lack vitamin D are more susceptible to depression and anxiety. High levels of social support also decrease symptoms of depression and may reduce the impact of depression on cardiovascular mortality. “Loving thy neighbor,” never rang so true. Patients with medical illnesses who make greater use of problem solving (task oriented coping) may have better outcomes. In other words, those that adhere to medication, increase physical activity, eat healthier, and improve management of stress do better. In summary, resilience is the key. Let us learn to embrace life and all it has to offer. Seek medical treatment from your physician for any underlying disorder that may prevent you from seeing the glass as half full. Mend relationships. Maybe start by taking your neighbor fishing in the warm Texas sun!

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Last Request

Travel Advisory

A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, “Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die, you will have my remains cremated.”

The Wisconsin State Dept of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen and golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears this summer.

“And what,” his friend asked, “What do you want me to do with your ashes?”

They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert but not startle the bears unexpectedly.

The businessman said, “Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service. Write on the envelope, “Now, you have everything.”

They also advise you to carry pepper spray in case of an encounter with a bear.

The things that come to those who wait are actually the things that were left by those who got there first!

People should be able to recognize the presence of bears in an area by their droppings: Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berry residue and possibly squirrel fur. Grizzly bear droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper spray.

County Crime

is Part of Our History! by Tammy Kubecka

Today’s newspapers are full of odd stories involving criminal activity. While it’s not a topic that some people normally connect to history, historians have long studied criminals and their crimes. Thankfully, Burleson County doesn’t contribute a lot to national news in this regard, but our local officers have always been kept busy trying to keep law and order. A trip through old Caldwell newspapers provides a great sampling of a few “historic crimes.” Names were omitted on purpose, to protect the innocent, and the guilty. Most of the time there were no follow-up stories on each incident, but the descriptions make for some great reading! In January 1899, an escaped convict from Koppe’s farm was arrested in Yellow Prairie one Sunday by a deputy sheriff. After his arrest, he was allowed to go into another man’s house to get something to eat, and escaped through a back window. In June 1897 two men found a body hanging from a tree in the Brazos Bottom. It was determined that the deceased was a “Bohemian man” from Burleson County, and that he’d been murdered before being hanged. Two men were quickly arrested, but one was discharged during a preliminary trial a few days later, and the other man was released on a mere $50 bond. A tidbit from Brenham ran in December 1899, stating that a Washington County resident was possum hunting along a creek and became “involved in a difficulty” which left him stabbed six times with a pocket knife. The man died of his wounds. It was reported that Caldwell’s city finances were in much better condition in December 1887, as a result of several fines and “trimmings” paid for gambling. Those involved had all declined to have their names published. Are you ready for more? In January 1898, a man was arrested in Milano for breaking into a store in Caldwell. He was held because he was wearing a pair of the stolen pants from the store. He was detained in the calaboose and when the officers returned later to question him again, the pants were gone, and he was only wearing his old coveralls. He swore he’d never had on a pair of pants! The sheriff searched the calaboose twice and finally found the pants stuffed in a rat hole in the floor. The rest of the stolen goods were found under the depot platform in Milano. Goods worth $77.65 were stolen, including nine suits and ten pairs of pants. Two more men were named as cohorts in the scheme and the Sheriff put out a description on them and hit pay dirt. The two were already in jail in Ennis for some unrelated crime. When the local story was published, the sheriff was in route to Ennis. And, finally, a note of high praise for the work of county law officers, when a letter appeared in the local paper in December 1897, written by a prisoner in the Burleson County Jail. He

wanted to publicly acknowledge that the prisoners in the jail had been treated to a “most bountiful Christmas dinner”, including cake. On Christmas Day, each inmate got a present donated from a local lady, and in the afternoon, the Sheriff brought them a box of cigars. They were also entertained with music by “the string band.” The prisoners were proud to say that they were well cared for in the Burleson County Jail. Old Caldwell newspapers can be found online at The Portal of Texas History website, at https://texashistory.unt.edu/ You never know WHAT or WHO you’ll find

Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Railroad A man who had spent his whole life in the desert visited a friend. He’d never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the RR tracks, he heard a whistle, but didn’t know what it was. Predictably, he’s hit and is thrown to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises. After weeks in the hospital recovering, he’s at his friend’s house attending a party. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the teakettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what’s happened and asks the desert man, “Why’d you ruin my good tea kettle?” The desert man replies, “Man, you gotta kill these things when they’re small.” Don’t be Nervous An elderly man was on the operating table awaiting surgery to be performed by his son, a renowned surgeon. Just before they would put him under, he asked to speak to his son: “Don’t be nervous, son, do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me… your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife.” Funeral Procession Two men are playing golf. One of them is about to take a swing when a funeral procession appears on the road next to the course. He stops mid-swing, takes off his cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in contemplation. His opponent comments: “That must be the most touching thing I’ve ever seen. You are a very feeling man.” The man, recovering himself, replies, “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

The Most Toys you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give it to the poor and thou shalt have treasure in heaven, and come, follow me.” But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions. Friends, that’s pretty clear cut right there. What would you do? Think about it. Would you give up everything you own if God asked you to? Again, there’s nothing wrong with wanting and having material possessions. It’s when your happiness is measured by your possesRenita Odstrcil is a licensed Texas Realtor. She is a member of the sions, and your desire for them, are greater than your desire to be National Association of Professional Women, the National and pleasing to God. Texas Association of Realtors, and the local When you lead a life that is pleasing to God, you will be amazed B/CS Association of Realtors. at the blessings he will bestow upon you. He gives you these blessA while back I saw a sign at a church that said, “If you’re not ings to use, so that you may be a blessing to others. Not to compete happy with what you’ve got, what makes you think you’ll be happy and compare or to accumulate the most toys. Because, you see, the with more?” We live in a world that teaches us that more is better, real winner in the end, is the one who has learned share his “toys” and obey the will of God. that ‘he with the most toys wins.’ It’s easy to be tempted to go through life always wanting more. We tend to compare ourselves to others as if we are competing with everyone around us. We want the biggest house, we want the bigger paycheck, the fancier car. This kind of thinking is a never ending cycle. There’s always going to be someone who is smarter or more talented than you, someone better looking, or who has more “toys”. Until you realize that you are not in competition with anyone and that God wants you to be the best you can be, you will never feel completely satisfied. So, is it wrong to want more things? I think it depends on what your focus in life is about. Is your desire for accumulating possessions here on earth greater than your desire to be pleasing to God? The Bible tells us in Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern, what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” And, in Luke 12:15, “Take care and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consists in the abundance of his possessions.” God wants you to focus on being a better you, to love and help one another and to do his will. He doesn’t want you coveting material possessions and he doesn’t want you being jealous over your neighbors or friends possessions. If you’re more concerned with “keeping up with the Jones”, or what your fellow man thinks of you, then it’s probably time for you to rethink your focus. Just in case you happen to be in denial of what your focus is truly on, consider what the Bible tells us in Matthew 19:16, 21-22, “And, behold, one came and said unto him, Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?” Jesus said to him, “If

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Tony had just finished reading a new book entitled, ‘You Can Be The Man of Your House.’

I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, ‘From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?’ His Sicilian wife Gina replied, “The funeral director would be my first guess.” ************ A woman phones up her husband at work for a chat... Says He: “I’m sorry honey but I’m up to my neck in work today” Says She: “But I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you dear.” Says He: “OK darling, but since I’ve got no time now, just give me the good news, OK?” Says She: “Well, the air bag works...” ************ The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, “Johnny! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44?” Little Johnny quickly replied, “NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network.

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Being Human: Worthy or Not/Godly or Not? by Scarlette Taylor

Recently, I read an article by a Christian commentator and apologist, one who speaks as a defender or champion of Christianity, of Scripture. He said that so many people are unaware of what being human means. Honestly, I had never thought much about the idea of being human and what being human means. Of course, I’ve known for some time I am human, as opposed to other created forms, dogs, cats, cows, etc. I’ve come to realize over the years that, as the Bible states, “God created man in His image.” And I’ve studied over the years what “in His image” means. God chose to create man, and ultimately woman, as spiritual beings, with the capacity to love because God is love, and to be relational, as God is. But the apologist stated that humans were created to have intrinsic worth and to reflect God’s glory. When I thought of that, I felt blessed, still do. Isn’t God so good to us, His creations? So, how are you doing as a created human? Do you feel your intrinsic worth? Intrinsic meaning inherent, fundamental, or core. What God wants is for us to know deep within that we are of worth, because He created us. But, I want to ask you: Are you letting the enemy Satan, perhaps through others, drag you down, make you feel inferior, lacking, empty? Don’t live like that! Reject that! And I mean literally reject those thoughts. The Bible states, “As a man (meaning mankind) thinks, so is he.” When negative thoughts come, simply pray… pray to God. Pray out loud if you are in a place you can, and speak against the negative thought/s. Ask God to give you the strength to live how He wants you to live. Remember that God spoke the earth into being. So we know words have power. Ask God to help you know your intrinsic worth. And then trust in Him to help you. Hold on to Him, your faith in Him, and keep telling Him you want to be the worthy person He created you to

be. Speak it; believe it. And, how are you doing reflecting God’s glory? You might ask, “What does this mean?” In fact, the author’s article suggested that most people don’t have any idea what they are supposed to reflect other than on making their own choices. The word reflecting means to imitating, or to replicating. God desires that we are holy, like He is. He wants us to love, like He is. (Scripture states that God is love, not He loves). He wants us to reflect steadfastness, like he does. He wants us to be compassionate, and slow to ager, like He is. I know it is not a “popular” thing to be exclusive today. The rage is to be inclusive and “tolerant,” to accept all things and all ideas. Yet, God’s Word through His Son Jesus states “I am the way the truth and the life. No man comes to the Father except through me.” So, in order to reflect our Creator’s glory, we must first accept His wonderful gift of His Son, Who He sent to die for our sins and restore us to a relationship with Him, God. Then, as Jesus knew we could, we realize we can begin to know the will of the Father in our lives, as we get closer to Him. And, it in that closeness that we will reflect His glory. We will “look like” Him in our actions, in our thoughts, and in our words. I truly benefitted from the words of the article, and the thought provoking it brought about, and I pray you will benefit from this article, whether it be as a reminder or an as learning about who you are to be. God truly wants us to have intrinsic worth, and He wants us to reflect His glory.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other. Sandy approached and asked if she was all right. The girl said she was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, “Would you like me to be your friend?” The girl hesitated, then said, “Okay,” looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, “Why are you standing here all alone?” “Because,” the little girl said with great exasperation, “I’m the goalie!”

************ A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer. ‘This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it you.’ The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, ‘Which do you want, son?’ The boy takes the quarters and leaves. ‘What did I tell you?’ said the barber. ‘That kid never learns!’ Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. ‘Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?’ The boy licked his cone and replied, ‘Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!’

“In a perfect world, all of a woman’s issues could be fixed with WD-40 and duct tape.”

************ An investment counselor went out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel, so she began interviewing young lawyers. ‘As I’m sure you can understand,’ she started off with one of the first applicants, ‘in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question.’ She leaned forward. ‘Mr. Peterson, are you an *honest* lawyer?’ ‘Honest?’ replied the job prospect. ‘Let me tell you something about honesty. Why, I’m so honest that my father lent me fifteen thousand dollars for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case.’ ‘Impressive..... And what sort of case was that?’ The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, ‘He sued me for the money.’

THROUGH THE FLAMES HE COULD SEE THE FACE OF THE DRAGON...

Corby Brizendine, a native of central Texas, Florence actually, earned a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from Texas Tech University and earned a masters of divinity from South Western Theological Seminary. He has been the pastor of First Baptist Church in Somerville, Texas, in Burleson County for seven years. However, in addition to his ministry, he has a passion for writing. That passion began when he was given his first creative writing assignment by his speech teacher Diane Spencer. At the age of fifteen, he started writing his first novel The Fire and published it thirty years later. He has now published a sequel to his first novel Banner of the Red Dragon. He also has plans to publish two more novels in the series. Already the third novel is written and being prepared for his publisher. His novels have been inspired by such authors as J.R.R. Tolkien who pinned the Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings and also by C. S. Lewis who wrote The Chronicles of Narnia. The end result is stories that combine the best of classic medieval-fantasy with a Christian message. The overall message found in his stories is that it is only through faith in Christ that we ultimately overcome the challenges we face in life. He writes for readers who are twelve years and up, but anyone who loves stories that offer the reader a tale of high adventure can enjoy his books. Tate Publishing is Brizendineâ€™s publisher, and his book can be ordered directly from them at https://www.tatepublishing.com/ bookstore/book.php?w=9781633674851 or they can be ordered from your favorite book outlet, such as Amazon or Barns and Nobles, or you can contact the author at corbybrizendine@yahoo. com.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Drivers License A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you.”

If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under. ~Ronald Reagan~

Money Talks During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m supposed to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that out.” He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom’s vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: “Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?” The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, “Yes,” then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: “I thought we had a deal.” The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom’s hand and whispered: “She made me a better offer.”

0 to 200 in 6 seconds Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!” The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

On The Day I Die On the die I die a lot will happen.

Courtesy of TruthBooks.com

A lot will change. The world will be busy. On the day I die, all the important appointments I made will be left unattended. The many plans I had yet to complete will remain forever undone. The calendar that ruled so many of my days will now be irrelevant to me. All the material things I so chased and guarded and treasured will be left in the hands of others to care for or to discard. The words of my critics which so burdened me will cease to sting or capture anymore. They will be unable to touch me. The arguments I believed I’d won here will not serve me or bring me any satisfaction or solace. All my noisy incoming notifications and texts and calls will go unanswered. Their great urgency will be quieted. My many nagging regrets will all be resigned to the past, where they should have always been anyway. Every superficial worry about my body that I ever labored over -about my waistline or hairline or frown lines -- will fade away. My carefully crafted image, the one I worked so hard to shape for others here, will be left to them to complete anyway. The sterling reputation I once struggled so greatly to maintain will be of little concern for me anymore. All the small and large anxieties that stole sleep from me each night will be rendered powerless. The deep and towering mysteries about life and death that so consumed my mind will finally be clarified in a way that they could never be before while I lived. These things will certainly all be true on the day that I die.

They will not feel ready. They will feel as though a part of them has died as well. And on that day, more than anything in the world they will want more time with me. I know this from those I love and grieve over. And so knowing this, while I am still alive I’ll try to remember that my time with them is finite and fleeting and so very precious -- and I’ll do my best not to waste a second of it. I’ll try not to squander a priceless moment worrying about all the other things that will happen on the day I die, because many of those things are either not my concern or beyond my control. Friends, those other things have an insidious way of keeping you from living even as you live; vying for your attention, competing for your affections. They rob you of the joy of this unrepeatable, uncontainable, everevaporating Now with those who love you and want only to share it with you. Don’t miss the chance to dance with them while you can.

Yet for as much as will happen on that day, one more thing that will happen.

It’s easy to waste so much daylight in the days before you die.

On the day I die, the few people who really know and truly love me will grieve deeply.

Don’t let your life be stolen every day by all that you believe matters, because on the day you die, much of it simply won’t.

They will feel a void.

Yes, you and I will die one day.

They will feel cheated.

But before that day comes: let us live.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Woman’s Work is Never Done A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entryway, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap, and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked: “What happened here?!” She again smiled and answered, “You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?” “Yes,” was his incredulous reply. She answered, “Well, today I didn’t do it.”

HELP NEEDED!! ASAP A friend of mine purchased tickets to the 2017 Super Bowl, air fare, hotel accommodations included...when he bought the tickets he didn't realize it was the same day as his wedding...Soooooo he can't go. If anyone is interested in taking his place, it will be at St. Peters Church in Plano, Texas , it starts at 5 p.m. Her name is Donna, she'll be the one in the white dress. Thanks

RENEWABLE ENERGY for a Sustainable World. Co-founders Doug Box and Sam Barrick are excited to introduce Texas Sustainable Solar, LLC to Caldwell and the greater Brazos Valley Area! Texas Sustainable Solar looks forward to helping fellow Texans become energy independent and lower or eliminate their electric bills, and are especially enthused to introduce solar energy solutions to our region. They will gladly help you to reduce your dependence on fossil fuels by installing your own photovoltaic solar system in most cases with no down payment. They will show you how to save 30% off the cost of your system by taking advantage of a federal tax credit before it goes away. Nestled in the heart of central Texas between Caldwell and College Station, Texas Sustainable Solar, LLC is on the 109 acre, 3-B Ranch. Facilities and operations were added to harmonize with natural systems home-based business and daily living needs. Permaculture principals are used in the operation of the farm. In addition to 4 small lakes, the 3-B Ranch includes an oak forest, natural grasses, wild flowers, an old barn with antique farm implements, an organic garden area, free range chicken/ guinea space, photo walk area, water harvesting and more. Doug Box began to add facilities and operations to the ranch that harmonize with natural systems to enhance his home-based photography business and every day family living needs. “I have been watching the solar industry for years now. With federal rebates and cooperation with the energy companies, plus the efficiency of the newer solar products and the latest technologies, solar is feasible and makes sense for Texans.” - Doug Box. Sam Barrick teamed up with Doug Box in 2015 to begin exploring the options of bringing the most reliable technology that the Solar world has to offer to the doorsteps of the rural Texas community. Sam brings to the table his expertise in Geographic Information Systems, advanced computer and programming skills, and a desire to keep up on technological breakthroughs. As a holder of a bachelor’s degree in Anthropology, a Masters in Geographic Information Systems, and nearly a decade of experience working for the federal government, he is passionate about learning from and helping others to become knowledgeable about the opportunities out there that can help them achieve sustainability. Sam has always had an interest in the sun’s potential; he was the only kid in school carrying around solar battery chargers and solar backpacks. “ Finally, solar systems have become safe, efficient and affordable for the family household. I can’t wait to help our neighbors to better understand how to use natural sunlight for everyday household needs and install the best solar systems available. Let’s all benefit from today’s Net Metering programs and federal tax credits!” - Sam Barrick In addition to solar, Doug and Sam want to help people add other sustainable lifestyle changes to how they life their life, including gardening, water collection, permaculture, saving electricity with simple modifications to their home and more. Texas Sustainable Solar, LLC looks forward to working with local customers!

The Flag In light of recent events and the action of a certain multimillionaire football player, I remembered one of my favorite stories that I shared earlier on these pages but the stark contrast to the action of that football player makes this very appropriate to share again. It was December 10, 1941, and Buenaventura Bello, Dean of a little college on the island of Luzon in the Philippines was in his upstairs office above the school. He sat at his desk with the American and Philippine Flags behind him on the wall. He had heard that the Japanese had attacked Pearl Harbor three days earlier in the morning hours of December 7, 1941 – killing thousands – he prayed for the people and for the United States of America and went about his work. Suddenly, there were boot steps coming up the stairs to his office – the door flung open and suddenly, the war that a few minutes ago had been so far away, was standing in his office in the form of a Japanese officer and 6 soldiers. The officer shouted a command to Bello – Bello did not understand Japanese and shrugged his shoulders. The officer pulled his revolver and pointed it at Bello and with the other hand pointed to the American and Pilipino flags behind Bello’s desk and jerked his fist down. He wanted the flags down. Bello understood the gesture. He stood to his full 4 ft. 11 inches and shook his fist in the face of the Japanese officer and shouted, “These hands were made to defend those flags, not tear them down.” The officer understood the defiance, if not the words; pulled the trigger and shot Bello. As Bello slumped to the floor, the officer stepped across his bleeding body, tore the flags down; stomped them with his boots; the soldiers stabbed the flags with their bayonets and they turned and left.

Bello’s secretary heard the shot, ran to his office and found him alive. She took him to the hospital and he survived and was a hero whose story inspired the people of the Philippines to persevere through the hell of Japanese Occupation and cruelty. I do not know the thoughts that ran through the mind of that football player that would cause him to take the action that dishonored our flag, our country and the millions who gave “their last full measure of devotion” and with their blood bought him the right to do what he did. But because Buenaventure Bello lived to tell his story, we know the thoughts that ran through the mind of that diminutive college dean as he stood before those flags and staring death in the eye, thought There are times in the lives of men when they are compelled to seal and certify with their actions what they say and believe in their hearts about the flags, the country and the millions who shed their blood for freedom. Such a time has arrived in my life. I SHALL SO CERTIFY! What about us? Perhaps we should thank the football player for jarring us out of our apathy and reminding us what it cost – this freedom that he exercised in a dishonoring way. Perhaps this is the time in our lives when we are compelled to stand up and affirm with our actions our gratitude for all those who gave the “last full measure of devotion” for our flag and our freedoms. Can we join Buenaventura Bello and standing, stretch to our full height and shout, “Such a time has arrived in my life, I shall seal and certify with my actions what I believe about the flag and the greatest country in the world that it represents.” God Bless America! Del Rogers, Sr., founder and CEO of Stewardship Enrichment is a recognized authority on successful fund raising for churches, ministries and personal stewardship growth for individual christians.

A friend you buy will not be worth what you have to pay for him. ~George Prentice~

WHO WILL PROTECT YOU... Over the last several months, turbulent times in a number of our major and minor cities have led to an outcry against police. Sadly, those in the aftermath of the tragedies who burn and vandalize the neighborhoods where the killings or injuries took place are doing little to help. Indeed, they are causing much harm to innocent business owners, fellow citizens, and to the cities that pay for clean-up. Even in our small towns, we are aware of the anger and confusion that has been generated by the national media, unfortunately too often due to unfiltered reporting of events. We are directly or indirectly aware of people who have been killed, wounded, or taken to jail for offenses that have caused harm to others. Of course, anyone with compassion hurts when the loss of life is reported, especially of the young. Our hearts go out to the family members and friends. We too want justice for the family. And truth must always be sought. Only with truth can all of us live in harmony, whether we are those who have lost loved ones or those who live in society among them. So, here in our small towns, what can we contribute to gain our desire for truth, to live well with our fellow residents, and to benefit our law enforcement members? I believe that one thing we can do is be swift to reserve judgment…choose to wait till

the truth is known. Whether an individual is affected by the innocent side or the guilty side, he should reserve judgment till truth known. With being willing to wait to know what the actual situation was, we will be moving toward truth. Scripture states that “The truth shall set you free.” And that is one thing we can desire as we live together in the 21st century with all its great changes. We can choose to live freely, just as our ancestors chose. Another thing that we can do is support our protectors, our police. As many people have in the past many months with our military men and women, we can speak words of gratitude. We can tell our policemen that we appreciate them, and we can let them know that we will have their backs, if a time arises that they need us. Remember we so often need to be protected and/ or served ourselves. So, with the idea of the theme for this edition of the Front Porch Magazine, we ask you, “What would we do without law and order, and who would be there to help us if we had no protectors?” The thought is inconceivable. We can all help their situation/s by being people who respect truth, and who desire to live in this freedom we’ve been given by others who were willing to sacrifice for us.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers A Day at the Races One day while he was at the track betting on the ponies and nearly losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.

Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, “Dad, tomorrow there’s a special ‘Adults’ evening’ at school. Daddy is surprised, “Really? Special?” “Yes,” nods Johnny, “it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers.”

Lo and behold, that horse -- a very long shot -- won the race. Before the following race, the Priest blessed yet another horse. Mitch made a beeline for the window, and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race. Mitch collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest would bless for the 6th race. The priest showed, blessed a horse, Mitch bet a large amount of money on it, and it won! True to his pattern, the priest stepped out onto the track before the last race and blessed the forehead, eyes, ears, and hooves of one of the horses. Mitch bet every cent he had, including his life savings and the deed to his house. Mitch then watched the horse come in dead last. He was dumbfounded. He made his way to the track, and when he found the priest, he demanded, “What happened, Father? All day long you blessed horses and they won. The last race, you blessed a horse and he lost. Now, thanks to you, I’ve lost all my savings!” The priest nodded wisely and said, “That’s the problem with Protestants -- you can’t tell the difference between a simple blessing and the Last Rites!

Rabies is caused by Rhabdovirus. Once it enters into the central nervous system, almost always ends in a painful death of the host by encephalomyelitis. Rabies only effects mammals and its primary reservoir is wildlife. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, rabies is found on every continent except Antarctica. Worldwide human rabies cases can exceed 50,000 per year. Major contributor is under developed countries with poor infrastructure, animal control and no vaccination requirements. In India alone, packs of feral, unvaccinated dogs cause 25,000 to 30,000 human deaths a year. Sadly, up to 60% of these deaths are children under 16 years of age. In the United States, there are 5,000 to 6,000 of animal confirmed cases per year with a human infection rate of 1 to 2 deaths per year. However, over 40,000 people in the US per year have to undergo rabies prophylaxis treatment due to exposure to potential rabid animals, 90 % of which are dog bites. In 2015, Texas had 942 cases of confirmed animal positive rabies cases. As mentioned before, wildlife is the primary source of rabies virus, usually disseminated to domesticated animals and then to humans. Skunks and bats are responsible for the majority of cases in Texas followed by foxes, raccoons, and other wild carnivores. The rabies virus is very unstable in the environment and must be transmitted in several primary ways. First, from bite wounds of an animal in the last stage of disease. Direct contact of virus laden saliva to a mucous membrane is the next way, followed by organ transplant. Rabies virus from bats seems to be more stable in the environment and thus transmitted at higher rates. Once the rabies virus enters the body, the incubation period can vary from three weeks up to one year, depending on location of the bite and type of rabies virus. Typically, there is a localized tissue reaction, the rabies virus migrates to peripheral nerves and from there into the spinal cord. This represents the 1st stage of infection and is why the incubation period varies so greatly. The final stage of infection usually lasts 10 to 12 days once the rabies virus enters in the central nervous system and colonizes in the brain, salivary glands and the muscles of the throat. This is the only

time rabies virus can be transmitted to other mammals, the last 10 to 12 days of infection. Typically, the final stage is characterized by an initial prodromal period of three to four days. The animal could have intense itching and self-mutilation at the bite site. They can also have central nervous system signs like sudden personality and voice changes. The second period is characterized as the mad or hallucinogenic phase. The animals are erratic, unpredictable and this period lasts three to four days. The final phase or dumb phase of rabies virus is characterized by weakness or paralysis. The animal may be unable to vocalize, eat or drink. This period lasts one to two days and is the time most human exposures occur. When people are bitten by an unvaccinated domesticated or stray animal, the bite should be reported to animal health authorities or local police. The animal should be quarantined for 10 days at an approved facility. If the animal cannot be located, then the person bit will need rabies prophylaxis. If wildlife bites or exposes a person, then humane euthanasia of wildlife and testing is required ASAP. If you are bitten by an animal, you should always clean the wound and seek medical attention immediately. When vaccinated pets are exposed to a possible rabid animal, the pet should receive a booster rabies vaccination and observed for signs of the virus for the next 45 days. If your pet is unvaccinated or not current, the Texas Animal Health commission recommends humane euthanasia because of the extended incubation period of the virus. The alternative to euthanasia is strict quarantine at an approved facility for 90 days with three rabies vaccinations on day 1, the 3rd week and the 8th week. Please keep your pets vaccinated to avoid this problem. In closing, rabies is a very preventable disease if a few simple things are done. Limit exposure to wildlife, both people and domestic pets. Do not feed wildlife, handle sick or diseased animals, especially bats. Vaccination of domesticated animals is paramount. Use a 3-year licensed vaccine if possible in dogs and cats. The Texas Animal Health Commission has indicated that if your pet has had a licensed 3-year vaccine two years in a row then they are legally vaccinated for three years. Local municipal rules vary and supersede TAHC regulations. However, if your pet is exposed to a potential rabid animal then a booster rabies vaccine will be needed at any point during their 3-year period. High risk animals like free roaming farm dogs or hunting dogs may need yearly boosters. Domesticated farm animals have only a 1-year license and should be boosted yearly. Thank you for your time and attention, hopefully this article will enlighten and engage you to keep safe. Jack F. McKemie DVM

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Things You Don’t Want to Hear During Surgery “Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.” “Someone call the janitor - we’re going to need a mop!” “Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness” “Bo Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!” “Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?” “Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingie.” “Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.” “Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?” “Darn, there go the lights again....” “Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy’s got two of ‘em.” “Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!” “Could you stop that thing from beating? It’s throwing off my concentration.” “What’s this doing here?” “That’s cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?” “I wish I hadn’t forgotten my glasses.” “Well, folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.” “Sterile, shcmerile. The floor’s clean, right?” “Anyone see where I left that scalpel?” “And now we remove the subject’s brain and place it in the body of the ape.” “Ok. Now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.” “This patient has already had some kids, right?” “Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?” “Don’t worry. I think this is sharp enough.” “FIRE! FIRE! Everybody get out NOW!” “Darn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!”

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

“No Rules, No Law, No Order! Would I, could I, go wild if there were no rules, no law and no order holding me in check? I’m quite certain that I would try a few little things, but, for me, not much would be different. I feel guilty if I forget to put on lipstick, sit in someone else’s pew at church, or don’t make nice chit chat with the check- out lady. I have discovered, after thinking about this whole question of, what if there were no rules, no law, and no order, that I’m a follow the rules kind of person. I honestly thought I was kind of a rebel, but, after much soul searching, I have to admit to myself, that I’m not! No dare devil sports, or chewing tobacco for me. It took me a couple of years just to try leggings. So far, I have not ripped off the tags from my pillows and mattresses, but if things changed, and no rules was the norm, I might get wild, and wear my flannel pj’s everywhere, like some college kid. No makeup for a day, although a treat for me, might seem a crime to many. My Mama taught me if I went out of the house without makeup, even to the grocery story, it might have the same consequences as having a car wreck, and being caught wearing dirty underwear. “They” would know, I wasn’t a cultured person. With no rules, law, or order, I could speed to my heart’s content, swig sparkling cider while cruising around, drive with my lights off after dusk, or jaywalk right in front of the law. I could drive on the other side of the road if so inclined, and even break in line at the movie. Of course, someone behind me would be free to beat the living daylights out of me. I could spit on the floor, or use my cell phone in church. I could eat off someone else’s plate at a restaurant, and even go out the door without paying the food bill. The possibilities, as they say, are limitless. I might take flash photos in theatrical performances, or other camera forbidden activities, let the grass in my yard grow knee high, and dump the decaying trash in the street. Drilling oil wells in random places would not be prosecuted. Little children could drink alcohol. Prisons would be opened. Those misguided souls could run free! Are there wanton citizens who want to do drugs, or drink alcohol while carrying a lethal weapon? No problem. Of course, this already happens, but, the open carry law would definitely hold new meaning. Bullies would be given free rein. Our world would look like a “Mad Max” movie; short lived, crazier than it already is, and rattle snake mean. Darth Vader would be our hero, up would be down, any wrong would be right. We probably wouldn’t live to see adulthood. I was about ten years old, growing up in Caldwell, when, in the middle of the night, a distraught and drunk stranger came to our front door, screaming that we should ”open up.” My dad called Sheriff Reid Phelp. He was there within a few minutes, taking the agitated man away. We were rescued. Our belief in police as protectors was confirmed. Having no rules might sound like a lot of fun, but, my di-

by Donna Presnal Retired Teacher Caldwell High School Graduate

lemma is that I’m not sure others can handle it as well as I would. What if their freedom infringes on my freedom? One of my favorite high school teachers, Mr. Darby, would tell us, “Your freedom stops where mine begins.” I personally, want other people to behave. If they need help, then they should have that little law and order crutch. Police are mostly, the good guys. They do a lot to help us that we don’t even realize. Just like our military people, we should thank them for their selfless service. Shake their hand. Take an officer to lunch, or at the very least, be polite. You never know when you might need one.

The Princess and the Geek A geek was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.” The geek took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I’ll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want.” Again, the geek took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess and that I’ll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?” The geek said, “Look, I’m a geek. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog? Now that’s cool.”

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers A Fairytale For The Assertive Woman Of The 2000’s Once upon a time, in a land far away, A beautiful, independent, self assured princess, happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the Princess’ lap and said: “Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome Prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young Prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my Mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.” That night, on a repast of lightly sauteed frogs legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought: “I don’t think so!”

My Own Social Media Sir: I haven’t got a computer, but I was told about Facebook and Twitter and am trying to make friends outside Facebook and Twitter while applying the same principles. Every day, I walk down the streets and tell passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done the night before and what I will do for the rest of the day. I give them pictures of my wife, my daughter, my dog and me gardening and on holiday, spending time by the pool. I also listen to their conversations, tell them I ‘like’ them and give them my opinion on every subject that interest me…whether it interests them or not. And it works. I have four people following me; two police officers, a social worker and a psychiatrist.

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Six Questions to Ask Older Parents by Kavon Novak

Kavon Novak is a registered Investment Consultant and Branch Manager with LPL Financial. He holds Series 7, 24 and 63 licenses. Kavon has over 15 years of experience in the financial industry and is a member of the Financial Services Institute and the Burleson County Chamber of Commerce. He is a multi-year “Outstanding Client Service” award recipient and a Fightin’ Texas Aggie ’91. For more information please call 979-255-8796.

Regardless of whether you and your parents have always talked freely about money or never discuss the subject, there are several considerations you may want to address with them as they approach their later years. The six questions below can help you to start thinking about and planning for that conversation. 1. What’s the best way to introduce the topic of your parents’ financial needs and goals? When you do decide it’s time to “have the talk,” tactfully make clear what you would like to discuss, but also let your parents know you respect their privacy. 2. Are you confident that they are staying on top of their finances? Are bills getting paid on time? Are investments being monitored? Maybe you have already spoken with your parents about these money matters, but not in a long while. If you think they might appreciate a follow-up, it may be a good idea to check in again. 3. Are they taking advantage of direct deposit, online bill paying, etc., to help simplify their financial life? If your parents aren’t comfortable with technology and/or using a computer, offer to help or ask another trusted family member to chip in. 4. Do your parents have an estate plan, and is it up to date? At a minimum your parents should have a will. If they don’t, then the court system will step in and distribute their assets as it sees fit. In addition to having an up-to-date will, there are other planning considerations, such as shielding assets from estate tax. The federal estate tax exemption amount is $5.45 million in 2016 -- or double that amount for married couples. There are several ways to reduce

the value of an estate: One is to make annual tax-free gifts of up to $14,000 (in 2016) to anyone they wish. Another is placing assets in an irrevocable living trust. Income taxes on revenue-generating assets placed in such a trust are paid by the trust itself, not by them. In addition, the assets in the trust are not considered part of your parents’ estate and are therefore not subject to estate taxes when they both pass away. However, “irrevocable” means that generally they cannot change beneficiaries or trustees once they are chosen; your parents also relinquish control of their assets once they are placed in the trust. 5. Do you and your parents understand the potential benefits of the power-of-attorney designation? A power-of-attorney is a legal document that names an individual who will be charged with making financial or legal decision on behalf of another person, often a parent. This document can become very important should one or both of your parents become ill or incapacitated in some way. 6. Should they consider a long-term care insurance policy? The average cost of a private room in a nursing home -- now topping $87,000 annually nationwide -- can put a tremendous financial burden on a family.1 For this reason, long-term care insurance can be a prudent addition to the financial plan of older parents. For more information about any of the issues discussed above, contact a financial advisor. This communication is not intended to provide tax and/or legal advice and should not be treated as such. Each individual’s situation is different. You should contact a tax and/or legal professional to discuss your personal situation. For general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. We suggest that you discuss your specific situation with a qualified investment, tax, or legal advisor. Source/Disclaimer: 1Genworth Cost of Care Survey, March 25, 2014. Insurance policies contain exclusions, limitations, reductions of benefits, and terms for keeping them in force. Your financial professional can provide you with costs and complete details. LPL Financial Representatives offer access to Trust Services through The Private Trust Company N.A., an affiliate of LPL Financial. Required Attribution Because of the possibility of human or mechanical error by Wealth Management Systems Inc. or its sources, neither Wealth Management Systems Inc. nor its sources guarantees the accuracy, adequacy, completeness or availability of any information and is not responsible for any errors or omissions or for the results obtained from the use of such information. In no event shall Wealth Management Systems Inc. be liable for any indirect, special or consequential damages in connection with subscriber’s or others’ use of the content. LPL Tracking #1-362569 © 2015 Wealth Management Systems Inc. All rights reserved.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers No wonder the English language is so very difficult to learn. I sometimes wonder how we manage to communicate at all! We must polish the Polish furniture. He could lead if he would get the lead out. The farm was used to produce produce. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. The soldier decided to desert in the desert. This was a good time to present the present. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. I did not object to the object. The insurance was invalid for the invalid. The bandage was wound around the wound. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. They were too close to the door to close it. The buck does funny things when the does are present. They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. The wind was too strong to wind the sail. After a number of injections my jaw got number. Upon seeing the tear in my clothes I shed a tear. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? She could not live with a live mouse in the house. It was just a minute prick and over in a minute. His mistake was putting his left foot forward while putting. We would probably read more Shakespeare if we understood what we read. There was a bow tied in the ropes on the bow of the ship. You should spring that on us next spring!

Grace by Eugenne Thompson

I am a preacher’s kid, born and raised in the Baptist Church. You would think that in my 35 years of attending B.T.U., Sunday School, and church services I would be able to give an adequate explanation to a simple question. But here I sit through a verse of Amazing Grace bewildered after a young man asked, “Sister Jackie, what does Grace mean?” I automatically blurted out, “Underserved Love / Unmerited Favor.” Then I thought, so what does that really mean? (Underserved Love / Unmerited Favor?) Maybe during my younger years of gum-chewing, whispering, and passing notes in Jr. Choir I must have missed that sermon. I thought about it for a while then continued to sing. After church services, my day progressed as so many other Sundays did. I finished cooking my afternoon meal of fried chicken, mixed vegetables, cream potatoes, and hot rolls. We sat down, said the blessing and ate a meal which seemed to take hours. It wasn’t my cooking though; I’m a darn good cook. My healthy, full figure can attest to that. But between stop, quit, eat your vegetables and my mind frequently drifting back to the young man and his question, our meal time lagged on and on. As I washed the dishes, I could hear my two children arguing over a toy. I stopped to reprimand them, and I noticed it was the same old, tired stuffed animal they had fought over for the past two months. Now, every mother knows her child and I am no exception. My daughter, Jamya, age 12, is my instigator and dominator. She’s very independent and thinks nothing she does is ever wrong. Jadan, on the other hand, age 8, is usually quiet, easily led and is a little insecure. After a brief inquiry, I found out Jadan had the toy and Jamya snatched it from him, then the fight was on. Instead of the usual swat on the behind, I decided that today would be different. I would sit down and stress love and sharing. After my light weight lecture, Jamya was instructed to pass the toy to Jadan and apologize. Instead of passing it, she threw it and hit him in the eye. Out of anger I grabbed her and whipped her with a small leather belt I found on a nearby chair. When the crying and whimpering had died down, I picked her up and held her close to me and said, “Jamya, Mommie spanked you because I love you and that was the way I had to get your attention. You must learn that when you do wrong as a child or as an adult you must get punished. I want people to love and respect you and to know you as a sweet young lady who is loving and sharing. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?” To my delight she said, “Yes” and gave me a gentle hug and a kiss. As the evening went on it grew closer to bedtime. The children were instructed to put on pajamas, say their prayers, and

hop into bed. In a short while I peeped in on them. They were both sound asleep. Later while submerged to my chin with perfumed bubbles and my mind in a state of mild tranquility, I thought how lucky I am to be a mother. I am chosen to have the responsibility to raise and teach these two children. To make them the very best they can be and love them in spite of what they do wrong. It’s bedtime for me now, and I’m on my knees ready to say my prayers. The young man’s question haunted me again. In my prayer I asked God to show me what GRACE really meant. As my prayer ended and I lay on my bed, I could feel myself becoming very light as if I were floating. It was so strange because I was still wide awake. Then as if I were watching a movie, I saw myself walking down a lonely road, my two children at my side. Several hooded men rushed from behind trees. I could feel strong hands grab me from behind and restrain me. Then I saw Jamya wrestled to the ground and restrained. I yelled for Jadan to run. He got a few yards from us and was knocked to the ground by one of the hooded men. I bit the hand that covered my mouth and screamed, “He’s only an 8 year old boy, leave him alone.” I struggled and fought with every ounce of strength I had in my body. But I could not free myself to help my children. I could hear my child crying out to me, “Mommie, help me, Mommie!” One of the men said, “This little n----- will never grow up to populate and pollute this earth.” My son was then kicked, stomped and spat on. I could see his swollen, bleeding face. A small lifeless heap of flesh lay on the ground while 4 men in white sheets and hoods laughed and kicked his limp body. When I could not endure anymore, I heard myself cry out, “My God! My God!” Then there was silence and complete darkness. Out of that darkness I turned to look out the window, and I saw a soft light. A calm voice spoke to my mind, “What you just experienced, I experienced over 2000 years ago on a cross at Calvery. I saw my son, Jesus, kicked, stomped and spat on. I loved mankind so much, and, yes, even the hooded men, who I sent Jesus to suffer and die for. He died for all your sins. You are loved more than you’ll ever imagine and you did absolutely nothing for that love. I love you unconditionally and My Grace Is Sufficient.”

Eugenne Thompson, a retired nurse of 30 years, mother of two children and six grandchildren, delights in her hobby of writing plays, skits and children’s short stories.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Quotes from “Famous” Mothers ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S MOTHER: “Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can’t you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?” BARNEY’S MOTHER: “I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you’re starting to look a little purple!” MARY’S MOTHER: “I’m not upset the lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you!” BATMAN’S MOTHER: “It’s a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance will be!” GOLDILOCK’S MOTHER: “I’ve got a bill here for a busted chair from the bear family. You know anything about this Goldie?” LITTLE MISS MUFFET’S MOTHER: “Well, all I’ve got to say is if you don’t get of your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there’ll be a lot more spiders around here!” ALBERT EINSTEIN’S MOTHER: “But, Albert, it’s your senior picture. Can’t you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something....?” GEORGE WASHINGTON’S MOTHER: “The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!” JONAH’S MOTHER: “That’s a nice story, but now tell me where you’ve really been for the past 3 days!” SUPERMAN’S MOTHER: “Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we’ve decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths!” And finally... THOMAS EDISON’S MOTHER: “Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb, dear. Now turn off that light and get to bed!”

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. ~Winston Churchill~

Personal Responsibility The First Line of Defense By Tracy Frank, Executive Director Hope Pregnancy Center of Brazos Valley

Have you seen the TV commercial for the vaccine Gardisil? It begins with a woman saying, “I have cervical cancer from an infection — human papillomavirus.” Photos flash on the screen of her as a young adult and then as a preteen. “Who knew HPV could lead to certain cancers?” she continues. “Who knew that there was something that could have helped protect me from HPV when I was 11 or 12, way before I would even be exposed to it?” It ends with a version of herself as a child looking up from a birthday cake festooned with candles and asking plaintively, “Did you know — Mom, Dad?” A second ad features a young man and ends with him asking the same haunting question. Regardless of your feelings about this controversial vaccine, what is missing from this commercial is a small fact about how human papillomavirus (HPV) is acquired. HPV is the most common sexually transmitted infection (STI). There are many different types of HPV. Approximately 40 types can cause health problems including genital warts and cancer . The vaccine is reported to prevent only four of those types.

Hope Pregnancy Centers has a new program called Building Family Connections. It teaches effective parent-child communication skills with the goal to raise healthy adolescents. In the arena of human sexuality, it seems today’s culture is saying all things are permissible. But even if something isn’t against the law, just because it is permissible it doesn’t mean it is profitable. Choices have consequences. When the choice is made to become sexually active outside of a monogamous marriage relationship, then there are numerous risks for which the individual needs to take personal responsibility. According the Center of Disease Control, abstinence from vaginal, anal and oral intercourse is the only 100% effective way to prevent HPV, other STIs and pregnancy. The correct and consistent use of male latex condoms can reduce the risk of STD (sexually transmitted disease) transmission and pregnancy. However, no protective method is 100% effective, and condom use cannot guarantee absolute protection against any STD or pregnancy. So perhaps the commercial should say, “Who knew there was something I could have done to protect myself not only from HPV,

but also from all sexually transmitted infections and even unintended pregnancy?” And if we follow the example in the commercial of placing the responsibility on the parents, “Mom, Dad can you teach me how to protect my sexual health?” Hope Pregnancy Centers has a new program called Building Family Connections. It teaches effective parent-child communication skills with the goal to raise healthy adolescents. Since parents are the most influential factors in an adolescent’s sexual decision making, it is essential parents talk to their children before their peers or the media does. However, parents are hesitant to talk to their children about sex or do not know how to do so. Mom, Dad this curriculum provides information on how you can routinely talk to your kids on sexual health issues. Men and women who practice abstinence in their teen years prior to marriage are more likely to complete their education and become gainfully employed. Those who aren’t abstinent have a much higher risk of making choices that negatively impact their ability to get a good job and results in more people drawing on public aid for assistance. The benefits of practicing abstinence before marriage are far reaching and go far beyond the belief that we should be able to enjoy a few short minutes of physical pleasure outside of marriage. The consequences of those short minutes can negatively impact the remainder of the individual’s life in ways that are physical (acquiring disease), emotional (pregnancy, not completing school) and financial (inability to find work without an education). When families can have open and factual conversations on the risks and benefits for the most personal of decisions, then there is an increase likelihood of a good choice. Parents can’t abdicate their role and depend on a vaccine to protect their children. About Hope: Hope Pregnancy Centers of the Brazos Valley is a faith-based, non-profit 501(c)(3) organization providing a safe and confidential refuge for those in crisis. Services (all of which are free with no eligibility requirements) include pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, options peer counseling, parenting and life skills classes, and material aid based on an “earn while you learn” system. Our STI/STD Clinic, doing business as Testing 4 U, offers free STI/SDI testing and Building Family Connections. More information may be found at www.partnerwithhope.org.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers My Own Social Media Sir: I haven’t got a computer, but I was told about Facebook and Twitter and am trying to make friends outside Facebook and Twitter while applying the same principles. Every day, I walk down the streets and tell passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done the night before and what I will do for the rest of the day. I give them pictures of my wife, my daughter, my dog and me gardening and on holiday, spending time by the pool. I also listen to their conversations, tell them I ‘like’ them and give them my opinion on every subject that interest me…whether it interests them or not. And it works. I have four people following me; two police officers, a social worker and a psychiatrist.

''I've noticed that everyone who is for abortion has

already been born.'' —Ronald Reagan, The New York Times, September 22, 1980

Golf Jokes Danny went golfing with his buddy, Tom. He stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction. Finally his exasperated partner says, “What is taking so long, just hit the ball!” Tom answers, “My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.” “Give me a break!” Danny retorted. “You don’t stand a chance of hitting her from here!”

The 50-50-90 Rule Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

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God made Adam first because he didnâ€™t want any advice from Eve on how to make Adam.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Half-Wit A man owned a small ranch in Montana. The Montana Work Force Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.

A: I’d probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

“I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,” demanded the agent.

Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed? A: Make eye contact and wave “hello” if he/she is cute.

“Well,” replied the farmer, “there’s my farm hand who’s been with me for 3 years.. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. “The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board. “Then there’s the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps in the house occasionally.” “That’s the guy I want to talk to ... the half-wit,” says the agent. “That would be me,” replied the Rancher

Traffic School The following are a sampling of real answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school (read Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.) Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time? A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying “Guns don’t kill people. I do.” Q: When driving through fog, what should you use? A: Your car. Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully? A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light? A: The color. Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem? A: Carry loaded weapons.

When you can’t make them see the light, make them feel the heat. ~Ronald Reagan~

Bluegills and Redear Sunfish & The Last of August Two Tales by Edwin H. Cooper The highlight of our early fishing career was the day Jimmy Turner and I caught one hundred thirty-five bluegill and Redear sunfish out of the river. Upon showing this stringer of fish to the newspaper people, we posed barefooted in overalls displaying this amazing catch before the cameraman. The following Thursday the photo appeared with an appropriate caption on the front page of the San Marcos Record. After this publicity, and certain of a secure future as a commercial fisherman, I asked Buster Williamson down at the boathouse how much he’d charge me to buy the pole and line I’d been renting for five cents per day. He said, “five cents.” Within a week after buying the five cent pole and line from Buster, I took a break from fishing to have myself a Nu-Grape soda at the boathouse. I carefully placed the pole on the riverbank during my break. Upon return to duty, I spotted one of Louise Williamson’s prized White Leghorn hens in considerable distress, the bird having swallowed my bait, hook and sinker, not to mention considerable line. That’s the day I learned how to dress a chicken, a skill I regretted possessing in later years.

I’ve always looked forward to the last of August because the dreaded dog days are then coming to an end. Not all at once mind you, because September can also be a slouchy, miserable month, but it usually brings our first norther and high hopes of fall. About the 21st day. Maybe I am biased against this horrible summer month. Thinking back, however, I cannot recall much good news during August. This August for example, my wife has broken her small toe. Our grandson was stung viciously by a Portuguese man-of-war in the surf at Galveston. Our lawn droops though the water bill reaches an all-time high. The starter on the outboard motor has gone out. Then some grandchild stuffed a half-eaten hamburger way beneath my pickup seat where it thoroughly fermented in the August heat. And as this is written, the refrigerator icemaker has given up the ghost. Now, today’s weather promises more of the same blinding, cooper-colored skies for the next five days. I am reminded of the San Marcos merchant named August that my dad wrote about in 1935. “There was a merchant whose first name was August. All this happened in the month of August. During the early part of August he got a notice his taxes would be due the first of September; he was notified the rent on his store would be due the first of September; he learned his note at the bank would be due the first of September; and he was warned that prices on the merchandise he bought would advance the first of September. So, just before the end of the month, he wrote a big sign and placed it on the front of his store: ‘The first of September will be the last of August.’” I sympathize with August, and propose that we do away with that terrible month and have two Octobers.

Edwin H. Cooper, writer of human interest stories and articles, has been published in many Texas magazines and newspapers, and is active in numerous civic and school organizations. His new book, 40 Years at Aggieland, was published in 2013.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers The Consultant A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd, “If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?” The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, “Sure.” The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM Thinkpad and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says, “You have exactly 1586 sheep.”

Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

“That is correct; take one of the sheep.” said the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car. Then the shepherd says, “If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my animal?” “OK, why not,” answered the young man. “Clearly, you are a consultant,” said the shepherd. “That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?” “No guessing required,” answers the shepherd. “You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don’t know anything about my business. Now give me back my dog.”

ONK EYE’S OHAWK

My neighbor pal, Monk Eye, did everything with gusto. He possessed a wild imagination; he dreamed big dreams; he attempted impossible stunts; and his body bore trophy scars and wounds of varied shapes, sizes, age, and color. One dog day afternoon, he whizzed into my yard on his ragged old bike, slid to a stop and began jabbering so fast he was stuttering and slobbering. He said his daddy had dropped him off in Douglasville to see a movie while he went to Austell to get some much needed 90 proof cough remedy. A western, starring Lash LaRue and his grizzled sidekick Fuzzy Q Jones, was playing at the Alpha Theater. LaRue was famous for his use of an 18 ft bullwhip with which he subdued bad guys. (In later years LaRue instructed Harrison Ford in how to use the bullwhip in the Indiana Jones movies.) In the episode Monk Eye saw, Lash LaRue and scraggly old Fuzzy Q Jones were surrounded by savage Indians, their fearsome faces smeared with war paint. These rabid redskins had evil intentions involving giving these heroes a hatchet haircut. LaRue whipped his way out of trouble. The Indians fled in fear, bullwhip whelps peeking from their shredded breechcloths. Every other boy in America would have identified with Lash LaRue, but not Monk Eye. He couldn’t quit yammering about the Indians. He wanted to play cowboys and Indians, and he wanted to be an Indian in full regalia. I made a whip from a worn out piece of plow line. A red handkerchief was my bandana, and I squished up one of Daddy’s old hats for a cowboy fedora. My overalls didn’t seem to compliment my outfit but Monk Eye, the cowboy expert, said at least half of them wore overallS. He rolled up his pants legs to his thigh, and made a breechcloth out of his shirt. But he wasn’t satisfied with the “look.” I suggested that war paint would make him look authentic. I “borrowed’ a little tube of sample lip stick that Mama had, and put zig zags on his face, and jiggly lines down his chest. “Monk Eye, now you look jist like an Indian.” He inspected the results in Mama’s handheld mirror and declared, “It still ain’t right. I need my hair cut like them Indians had theirs.” I asked, “How’d they have theirs cut?”

by Neal Beard, a retired pastor living in Douglasville, Georgia. He writes history / humor about the rural northwest Georgia community where he grew up in the 40s and 50s.

“They had all the hair cut off to the skin except a strip right in the middle and that’s whut I want. You got any scissors? I want you to give one of the Indian hair cuts.” I got the scissors and began to whack. It was a bad looking job, even for a rookie barber. It looked like he had lost a war with a weed eater. But Monk Eye was satisfied that he looked like a genuine for real Indian. All afternoon the woods and pasture crackled with whip and war whoops. Mama called me to eat supper. Geronimo mounted his two wheeled pony and loped off to his teepee. Mama Monk Eye saw him and let loose her own war whoop, misting the Indian boy with Tube Rose snuff. After getting over the shock she got tickled at the pitiful sight and couldn’t bring herself to give him a whuppin’. She scrubbed the lipstick off with turpentine, and repaired the hair cut by shaving his head. For at least three months I could spot Monk Eye at a distance. With his whopper ears sticking out from his shiny scalp he looked like a Checker cab with both front doors open.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Stay! I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador retriever had fresh air. She was stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, “Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay!” The driver of a nearby car gave me a startled look. “I don’t know about you, lady,” he said incredulously. “But I usually just put my car in park.”

Harley Biker A Harley Biker is riding by the zoo in Washington, DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, ‘Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I’ve seen a man do in my whole life.’ The Harley rider replies, ‘Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.’ The reporter says, ‘Well, I’ll make sure this won’t go unnoticed. I’m a journalist, you know, and tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page. So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?’ The biker replies “I’m a U.S. Marine, and a Republican”. The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page: U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH

To Advertise in the Front Porch Magazine 979-567-7871

Arrogant Rich Girl Story!! Once a poor boy fell in love with a rich man’s daughter. Boy loved her a lot, so one day he proposed to her. Girl rejected him by saying, “Listen, your monthly salary is even less than my daily expenses. How can I live with you? How could you even think of coming to me and asking me?? I can never ever love you. Forget about me and go find someone of your level to marry.” Even after knowing girl’s thought, he still loved her, and after getting rejected boy left but couldn’t forget her. 10 years later they stumbled into each other in a shopping mall. Girl recognized him and said, “Hey!! You.. how are you?? I am married now. He is very smart and do you know how much my husband’s salary is!! It’s $20,000 per month. Can you beat that?? Boy’s eyes got wet hearing those words from girl. A few seconds later her husband came around. Before girl could say a word, her husband said, “Sir, you are here! You have met my wife.” “This is my boss. I am one of those working for his 100 million dollar project,” husband said looking at his wife. Husband continued, “He is very good person and do you know, my dear, my boss loved a girl but he couldn’t win her heart. That’s why he remained unmarried. How lucky would that girl have been now, if she married my boss!! Now days who would have loved someone so much?” Girl was totally shocked and couldn’t say a word after that. Moral: Life is too short, so don’t be too arrogant and proud of yourself and look down on another’s current situation. Things change; times change. Don’t under estimate anyone because everyone can have a great future.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Hospital Rules Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student aide, Sam found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need Sam’s help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let Sam wheel him to the elevator. On the way down Sam asked him if his wife was meeting him. I don’t know, he said. She is still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown. Assignment Difficulty An elementary school teacher decides to poll the class on the difficulty of last night’s homework assignment: How many people were able to complete the assignment without parents help? About 25% of the class raises their hands. How many people we able to complete the assignment with the help of a parent? About 70% of the class raises their hand. The teacher still notices about 5% of the class did not raise their hands. She then calls out, “How many people had to help a parent complete your assignment?

Nasty Comment A new business was opening and one of the owner’s friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card,.... “Rest in Peace.” The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, “Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying,... ‘Congratulations on your new location!’”

Every two years the American politics industry fills the airwaves with the most virulent, scurrilous, wallto-wall character assassination of nearly every political practitioner in the country - and then declares itself puzzled that America has lost trust in its politicians Charles Krauthammer Visit our Website www.frontporchmagazine.com

Because of

LOVE A brother and sister had made their usual hurried, obligatory preChristmas visit to the little farm where dwelt their elderly parents with their small herd of horses. The farm was where they had grown up and had been named Lone Pine Farm because of the huge pine, which topped the hill behind the farm. Through the years the tree had become a talisman to the old man and his wife, and a landmark in the countryside. The young siblings had fond memories of their childhood here, but the city hustle and bustle added more excitement to their lives, and called them away to a different life. The old folks no longer showed their horses, for the years had taken their toll, and getting out to the barn on those frosty mornings was getting harder, but it gave them a reason to get up in the mornings and a reason to live. They sold a few foals each year, and the horses were their reason for joy in the morning and contentment at day’s end. Angry, as they prepared to leave, the young couple confronted the old folks, “Why do you not at least dispose of ‘The Old One?’ She is no longer of use to you. It’s been years since you’ve had foals from her. You should cut corners and save so you can have more for yourselves. How can this old worn out horse bring you anything but expense and work? Why do you keep her anyway?” The old man looked down at his worn boots, holes in the toes, scuffed at the barn floor and replied, “ Yes, I could use a pair of new boots”. His arm slid defensively about the Old One’s neck as he drew her near with gentle caressing he rubbed her softly behind her ears. He replied softly, “We keep her because of love. Nothing else, just love.” Baffled and irritated, the young folks wished the old man and his wife a Merry Christmas and headed back toward the city as darkness stole through the valley. The old couple shook their heads in sorrow that it had not been a happy visit. A tear fell upon their cheeks. How is it that these young folks do not understand the peace of the love that filled their hearts? So it was, that because of the unhappy leave-taking, no one noticed the insulation smoldering on the frayed wires in the old barn. None saw the first spark fall. None but the “Old One.” In a matter of minutes, the whole barn was ablaze and the hungry flames were licking at the loft full of hay.. With a cry of horror and despair, the old man shouted to his wife to call for help as he raced to the barn to save their beloved horses. But the flames were roaring now, and the blazing heat drove him back. He sank sobbing to the ground, helpless before the fire’s fury. His wife back from calling for help cradled him

in her arms, clinging to each other, they wept at their loss. By the time the fire department arrived, only smoking, glowing ruins were left, and the old man and his wife, exhausted from their grief, huddled together before the barn. They were speechless as they rose from the cold snowcovered ground. They nodded thanks to the firemen as there was nothing anyone could do now. The old man turned to his wife, resting her white head upon his shoulders as his shaking old hands clumsily dried her tears with a frayed red bandana. Brokenly he whispered, “We have lost much, but God has spared our home on this eve of Christmas. Let us gather strength and climb the hill to the old pine where we have sought comfort in times of despair. We will look down upon our home and give thanks to God that it has been spared and pray for our beloved most precious gifts that have been taken from us. And so, he took her by the hand and slowly helped her up the snowy hill as he brushed aside his own tears with the back of his old and withered hand. The journey up the hill was hard for their old bodies in the steep snow. As they stepped over the little knoll at the crest of the hill, they paused to rest, looking up to the top of the hill the old couple gasped and fell to their knees in amazement at the incredible beauty before them. Seemingly, every glorious, brilliant star in the heavens was caught up in the glittering, snow-frosted branches of their beloved pine, and it was aglow with heavenly candles. And poised on its top most bough, a crystal crescent moon glistened like spun glass. Never had a mere mortal created a Christmas tree such as this They were breathless as the old man held his wife tighter in his arms Suddenly, the old man gave a cry of wonder and incredible joy. Amazed and mystified, he took his wife by the hand and pulled her forward. There, beneath the tree, in resplendent glory, a mist hovering over and glowing in the darkness was their Christmas gift. Shadows glistening in the night light. Bedded down about the “Old one” close to the trunk of the tree, was the entire herd, safe. At the first hint of smoke, she had pushed the door ajar with her muzzle and had led the horses through it. Slowly and with great dignity, never looking back, she had led them up the hill, stepping cautiously through the snow. The foals were frightened and dashed about. The skittish yearlings looked back at the crackling, hungry flames, and tucked their tails under them as they licked their lips and hopped like rabbits. The mares that were in foal with a new years crop of babies, pressed uneasily against the “Old One” as she moved calmly up the hill and to safety beneath the pine. And now she lay among them and gazed at the faces of the old man and his wife. Those she loved, she had not disappointed. Her body was brittle with years, tired from the climb, but the golden eyes were filled with devotion as she offered her gift-Because of love. Only Because of love.

Small Town Law Enforcement by Thomas Norsworthy Burleson County Sheriff Elect If you watch the news media and social media, you’ll see the world isn’t a friendly place if you’re in Law Enforcement. This past year has been horrific to the profession, and it’s getting more dangerous to put on a badge and go do your job. Folks may ask, why get up every day and do the job you do? It’s a simple answer for me. If I don’t get up and go to work, then who will be there to protect and serve? I have been in Law Enforcement in Burleson County for 19 years. I love my job and the folks I’ve had the privilege to work with. Being in a smaller community has its advantages and disadvantages. With the way the world is looking down on Law Enforcement, it is good to live and work in a community that supports its First Responders. The prayer services that get held on the Courthouse lawn, the meals prepared for us showing appreciation for what we do, the annual Banquet held in our honor: it’s nice to drive down a county road or a subdivision and stop and talk to someone working in his yard. Working in a community like ours is great because someone is always willing to watch out for their neighbor and will report suspicious folks to Law Enforcement. Officers that know each other and work together are also an advantage we have. In some of the bigger areas, some of them may never know who their fellow officers are. I am grateful to be able to work in the same community that my kids go to school and are involved in activities. As many of my fellow First Responders know, there are always the disadvantages too, like the time you are gone from you fam-

ily working extra jobs to pay a bill or for Christmas presents. We are limited on how much Law Enforcement we have in our community, so when something big happens or some type of natural disaster, officers tell loved ones goodbye and head out the door. Sometimes they are called in and sometimes they just know they need to help. I have personally missed school functions that my children are involved in, family outings that are cut short because I was needed to help work a case or someone needed backup. All the late nights and meals missed with your family, add up, but we have a job to do. I am lucky to have an understanding and supportive family that has been there with me through the tough times and the good times. I have been lucky to have worked with and learned from a lot of good Law Enforcement Officers. I was lucky enough to attend the Law Enforcement academy at the Burleson County Sheriff ’s Office. I was hired by Sheriff Gene Barber as a full time Deputy in August of 1998 and then continued working for Sheriff Stroud until I left to become the Caldwell Police Chief in 2013. I have worked with some great law men and women, and I am grateful to have had the honor to work with them and call them friends. Law Enforcement has definitely changed over the years. I am grateful for the job that I have now and the new position I will take over soon. I have some big boots to fill. but I look forward to continuing to work in my community. The next time you see one of our First Responders, stop and tell them thank you for the job they do.

Shay: God’s Plan In Brooklyn, New York, Chush is a school that caters to learning disabled children. Some children remain in Chush for their entire school career, while others can be main streamed into conventional schools. At a Chush fund-raising dinner, the father of a Chush child delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he cried out, “Where is the perfection in my son Shay? Everything God does is done with perfection. But my child cannot understand things as other children do. My child cannot remember facts and figures as other children do. Where is God’s perfection?” The audience was shocked by the question, pained by the father’s anguish, stilled by the piercing query. “I believe,” the father answered, “that when God brings a child like this into the world, the perfection that he seeks is in the way people react to this child.” He then told the following story about his son Shay: One afternoon Shay and his father walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, “Do you think they will let me play?” Shay’s father knew that his son was not at all athletic and that most boys would not want him on their team. But Shay’s father understood that if his son was chosen to play it would give him a comfortable sense of belonging. Shay’s father approached one of the boys in the field and asked if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance from his teammates. Getting none, he took matters into his own hands and said “We are losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him up to bat in the ninth inning.” Shay’s father was ecstatic as Shay smiled broadly. Shay was told to put on a glove and go out to play short center field. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay’s team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay’s team scored again and now with two outs and the bases loaded with the potential winning run on base, Shay was scheduled to be up. Would the team actually let Shay bat at this juncture and give away their chance to win the game? Surpassingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that it was all but impossible because Shay didn’t even know how to hold the bat properly, let alone hit with it. However as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher moved a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay should at least be able to make contact. The first pitch came in and Shay swung clumsily and missed. One of Shay’s teammates came up to Shay and together the held

DEAR GOD IF TODAY I LOSE MY HOPE PLEASE REMIND ME THAT YOUR PLANS ARE BETTER THAN MY DREAM the bat and faced the pitcher waiting for the next pitch. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly toward Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay and his teammate swung at the bat and together they hit a slow ground ball to the pitcher. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could easily have thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have ended the game. Instead, the pitcher took the ball and threw it on a high arc to right field, far beyond reach of the first baseman. Everyone started yelling,”Shay, run to first. Run to first.” Never in his life had Shay run to first. He scampered down the baseline wide-eyed and startled. By the time he reached first base, the right fielder had the ball. He could have thrown the ball to the second baseman who would tag out Shay, who was still running. But the right fielder understood what the pitcher’s intentions were, so he threw the ball high and far over the third baseman’s head. Everyone yelled, “Run to second, run to second.” Shay ran towards second base as the runners ahead of him deliriously circled the bases towards home. As Shay reached second base, the opposing short stop ran to him, turned him in the direction of third base and shouted, “Run to third.” As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams ran behind him screaming, “Shay run home.” Shay ran home, stepped on home plate and all 18 boys lifted him on their shoulders and made him the hero, as he had just hit a “grand slam” and won the game for his team. “That day,” said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, “those 18 boys reached their level of God’s perfection.”

Remember America’s Buffalo Soldiers Cont’d from Page 10

People came from most of the states of our union. A weeklong event included celebratory ride-outs from Leavenworth, KS (10th Calvary) and Greenville, LA (9th Calvary). Griffin helped organize the rides, where some 200 reenactors rode, and participated in a living history encampment in period clothing representing the history of the Buffalo Soldiers. This awesome celebration was recorded by the Houston Chronicle and many other major papers, and even Smithsonian representatives chronicled the event. The Last 13 years Virgil Griffin has served on the Board of Directors for the National Association of 9th ^ 10th (Horse) Calvary Buffalo Soldiers. The board takes care of the business for 42 chapters nationwide and overseas, which are made up of some 1100 members. Too often, all that people know about the Buffalo Soldiers is that they were special troops who served in the military. Did you know that African Americans have served proudly in every great American war, with over 200,000 serving during the Civil War? In 1886, Congress brought about legislation for the creation of six all-African American army units: 9th and 10th Calvary, 38th, 39th, 40th, and 41st Infantry. These soldiers enlisted for 5 years and received $13 a month, far more than they could earn in civilian life. Later, the four infantry were condensed into two, the 24th and 25th infantry regiments. The 10th Calvary was found in Leavenworth, KS, and recruited from the norther states. The 9th Calvary recruited soldiers from the south, and they headquartered in Greenville, LA. White soldiers led all of the troops, which served only west of the Mississippi River because of the prevailing attitudes following the Civil War. The Buffalo Soldier’s main charge back then was protection and involvement in the westward expansion of the United States. Though they served in difficult times and among difficult circumstances, as do all our soldiers even today, these men served with dignity, wisdom, and sacrifice in regard to their nation. To find out more about the Buffalo Soldier, you can go to bsr150.com. This will link you to the National Museum and to information on the Buffalo Soldier.

Buffalo soldiers were given the name because their fierce, brave nature reminded them of the way buffalos fought.

History

Don’t Mess with Texas

by John Cornyn, US Senator for Texas No doubt you’ve seen, heard, and probably even said these words...but you may be surprised at how our state’s unofficial motto came to be. In the 1980s, the majestic sprawling landscapes for which our state is known were becoming cluttered with fast food wrappers, ice cream cups, and almost anything else you can imagine. Traditional marketing campaigns that connected littering with guilt and shame weren’t working on the ‘typical litterer’ of the time, identified by the agency as an 18-35 year old male. By 1985, Texas was spending more that $20 million on highway cleanup, and it was estimated that number would increase by as much as 15 percent each year in the future. Texas had a problem, and so the search for a solution began. When Austin advertising mogul Tim McClure pitched the “Don’t Mess with Texas” campaign to the State Department of Highways and Public Transportation, the older participants expressed their doubts. He continued to push his idea, and they eventually gave him a chance. The slogan first debuted across the state with a few slow-tosell bumper stickers in 1985, but a television ad with the slogan featuring Stevie Ray Vaughan during the 1986 Cotton Bowl took the state by storm. The Department distributed trash cans bearing the catchy slogan across the state’s highway grid, and bumper sticker sales caught on.

If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolates at her.

Soon the slogan went viral and celebrities were asking to be a part of the anti-litter campaign. Willie Nelson, George Foreman, and Chuck Norris, iconic Texans, and others lent their fame to our state’s cleanup efforts. Tim McClure’s slogan became an iconic Texas saying and his creative solution has been widely successful. In the campaign’s first six years, the state recorded a 72 percent reduction in highway litter. According to TX DOT, while the state paid today’s equivalent of $2.21 per Texan in 1985 for roadside cleanup, by 2015 that figure had dropped to $1.19...even with the addition of many more miles of Texas roads. In addition to inspiring Texans to take action, the viral “Don’t Mess with Texas” slogan allows TX DOT to collect royalties on products bearing the phrase, translating to more money for cleanup efforts. All types of items have been emblazoned with the slogan, but one Texan can be particularly proud of is the United States Navy’s USS Texas (SSN-775), a Virginia-class submarine which proudly displays the motto on its crest. After 30 years, the “Don’t Mess with Texas” campaign continues with a clear goal in sight: if every Texan picks up just two pieces of trash each month, they estimate our highways will be completely litter free in a year. That is, as long as fellow drivers don’t mess with Texas.

I have an attention span that’s as long as it has to be. ~Donald Trump~

MAKE AMERICA GREAT

AGAIN!!!

Memory Enhancing Tips & Supplements

Suzy Cohen, RPh www.suzycohen.com People call me “America’s Most Trusted Pharmacist®” because I’ve been a licensed pharmacist for over 25 years and is a functional medicine practitioner for the last 15. I am able to share the pros and cons of medication use as well as offer natural substitutions for most any of your health concerns. While I pride myself in ‘thinking outside the pill’ let me just say that I am still very proud to wear my white coat because I realize that there is a time and place for medications. We need to consider all of our options, and often, a combination is best. In addition to writing a syndicated health column, “Dear Pharmacist,” which circulates to 20 million readers each week, Suzy Cohen is the author of many different books on natural health. You may have seen her on The Dr. OZ Show (6 different appearances), The View, The Doctors, Good Morning America Health and hundreds of morning shows. www.suzycohen.com

Dear Pharmacist, Recently I saw a major network news program about researchers looking for drugs to prevent Alzheimer’s. The doctors interviewed held out so little hope and it really upset me that they didn’t suggest diet and exercise. Both my parents had dementia. I’m scared of it happening to me. –A.F., Chicago, Illinois The number of people with Alzheimer’s is expected to triple in the coming years. The doctors were certainly right that at present there isn’t a single drug on the market that can hold Alzheimer’s at bay. But shame on them for not mentioning that there’s a whole host of things you can do to protect yourself. I’ve written about this important topic before, but with millions of aging Americans at risk, I don’t mind revisiting. Please put curcumin, the active ingredient of the common spice turmeric, at the top of your list of Alzheimer’s preventives. Seriously. Researchers have published 1,000 scientific studies on

the antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties of curcumin. A recent Japanese study showed symptom improvement who supplemented with turmeric capsules for one year. Two participants who had severe cases were even able to recognize family members by the study’s conclusion. Back in 2008, researchers in India published a paper reviewing the major research done on curcumin as a treatment for Alzheimer’s. They noted that curcumin apparently has the ability to help a component of the immune system (macrophages) clear away amyloid plaques from the brain. They concluded, “…based on the main findings above, curcumin will lead to a promising treatment for Alzheimer’s.” What they’re saying is that, in time, someone will turn it into a drug. Then it will take years to study the new drug on animals and people before it’s brought to market for a hefty price. Well, duh! The take home point is that turmeric and curcumin supplements are readily available, affordable and worth a try. Since supplements are hard to absorb, you can eat the spice. It’s popular in curry dishes. Sprinkle it on everything like I do because it’s good for heart disease, arthritis and breast health. Other food items you should add to your shopping list are colorful fruits and vegetables, with a special emphasis on blue and purple, which indicates the presence of anthocyanins, a pigment that scientists are looking at as a possible Alzheimer’s preventive. In fact, I suggest eating blueberries several times a week. Other memory boosting supplements include citicoline, phosphatidylcholine and Acetyl L-carnitine. What else can you do? There’s a tight association with memory loss and damage from popular foods so I often recommend either a “Paleo” Diet or Doug Kaufmann’s “Phase One” Diet. You could read about the dangers of gluten in the new book, Grain Brain by Dr. David Perlmutter. I would absolutely include at least 2 teaspoons of organic coconut oil in your diet each day. Get plenty of exercise to turn on life-extension genes and increase production of memory molecules. I’m glad to hear your mind and emotional health are a priority, none of us should take it for granted.

Become More Self Sufficient by Doug Box Being self sufficient is comforting. Knowing where your food comes from, knowing that you will be saving money, knowing that if things get tough you arenâ€™t going to starve, and knowing that you are helping the environment are all comforting feelings to have. The first place I started was in a small garden. There is nothing better than a fresh, home grown tomato, or a bucket-full of bright red potatoes. My wife loves decorating with pumpkins, and they grow well even in a flowerbed. And if you are like my son and his wife, you may yield many veggies that you can provide to family and neighbors, and have plenty left over to preserve for the winter. Another simple step towards sustainability is growing a few fruit and nut trees. Your local co-op, garden, or big box store will have several varieties available. Another category is back yard animals. If you have a large yard or some acreage, you can raise a few chickens for fresh eggs. All you need is a small permanent coop or a movable chicken tractor. I raised two dozen guineas to help keep down the bugs; they love eating harmful scorpions, ticks and grasshoppers, and seem to scare the snakes away. If you are one of many with a few or more acres out in the country, you may also raise your very own grass-fed beef and create a stock tank that can double as a fish farm. Fresh fish, grassfed beef, your own brown eggs and home raised vegetables, and I think you are on your way to sustainability and self sufficiency. Anyone can add a rain barrel and start collecting water for your garden and flowerbed, or even use for back up drinking water. With only one inch of rain, you will collect .6 gallons per square foot of roof space! Just make sure you use screen wire over the intake to keep the mosquito problem in check. Other simple, yet exciting ideas to consider while on your quest for self sufficiency are starting a compost pile, making your own soap and laundry detergent. Nothing is better for your plants than fresh compost that is pesticide free. Besides not only saving you money, making your own soap products can also be an enjoyable way to make for gifts for friends and family, or even as a small business-more and more people these days are demanding such chemical free products. Perhaps one of the most significant steps towards self sustainability is utilizing your own solar power. Harness an ever-present source of energy that is created by the sun and convert that energy to electricity to run your household! Solar costs have been coming down, and the energy output from panel systems has increased so much that now is the time to invest in solar. Letâ€™s realize that we will likely pay an electric bill to someone for the rest of our lives. However, having your own solar panels can cut your electric bill in half or even more, and it actually doesnâ€™t cost you a penny up front! I added solar panels to our house and it is

by far the best investment that I have made in a long time. Your very own solar panels will produce electricity whenever the sun is shining, and many of the electric companies will give you credit for the power you create, which is called Net Metering. Plus, there is a recently renewed, 30% Federal Income Tax credit to of take advantage of to reduce the initial costs of your solar system.

Some men change their party for the sake of their principles; others their principles for the sake of their party. ~ Winston Churchill~ Men write many fine and plausible arguments in support of monarchy, but the fact remains that where every man has a voice, brutal laws are impossible. ~Mark Twain~

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Snow Parking One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, “We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.” Bob’s wife goes out and moves her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.” Bob’s wife goes out and moves her car again. The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park...” then the electric power goes out. Bob’s wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, “Honey, I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?” With the love and understanding in his voice, Bob says, “Why don’t you just leave it in the garage this time?”

Alexander Hamilton started the US Treasury Department with nothing, and that’s the closest our country has ever been to being even.

Helicopter Problem A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft’s electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter’s position and course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter’s window. The pilot’s sign said “WHERE AM I?” in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said “YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.” The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the “YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER” sign helped determine their position in Seatle. The pilot responded “I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because, similar to their help-lines, they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer.”

Wallowing in Pink Pajamas by Polly Williams

Webster’s Dictionary defines wallowing as in a pool of water, mud or snow in which animals will roll in a clumsy and lazy manner. For the benefit of citified folks and some countrified folks, pigs cannot sweat. To cool off, the pig will find a mud hole, lay down in it and roll around in it to coat its body with the cooled mud. Most areas can be found at the end of a cement pig floor where pigs gather to eat and poop. A good rain will wash the floor and drain onto the ground making a great mud hole of pig slop, etc. This particular sunny, crisp Sunday early morning, I decided to walk around the farm yard to enjoy the early fall-like weather. Very little traffic made walking in pajamas outside possible. Hubby called out, “What are you doing?” as this was a rare thing for me. “Walking” was the reply. Hubby doing early morning chores answered back, “There is a little piggy that’s escaped from the barn.” Sure enough, there was the little fellow nibbling on grass, nosing itself with the big sows on the feedlot, just enjoying his escape. Following the little guy, we chased back and forth around the ends of the sow building. I’m thinking if the pig got cornered, Hubby could come and get the little critter back to the barn. Looking for something to corner the piggy with, I found an old trellis panel, 2 x 8 feet long and easy to handle. Ah ha, I thought. Edging closer to the little guy, I knew one more step and I’d have him. One more step and I was right in the pig wallow! I fell kerplunk! Knee deep, flat on the trellis panel. Stunned, lifting my head and noticing no broken glasses, nose, teeth, bones, I attempted to turn over to try to get up and out of the hole, all the time yelping and moaning about the smell, the yuck, the muck and mire! Oh, it was awful! It was awful! Oh, no, oh, oh, oh! “Help, help” I cried out. “Where are you?” Hubby called. “Help, help” I kept crying out. Around the corner of the sow building Hubby came running and stopped and gawked. There sat his bride of 25 years, in pink pajamas, in a pig wallow up to the top of her hips in great anguish! Rushing over and calling, “Are you hurt? Anything broken?” Hubby reached out with clean hands to take hold of yucky, mucky hands of mine to pull me out of the wallow. Pulling against gravity, 200 plus pounds of being sucked in slop, mud, Hubby almost tumbled in on top of me. Bracing himself, Hubby finally pulled me out of the wallow and together, arm in arm, we limped toward the garage driveway near the back door of the farm house. Yuck, crying, exclaiming how awful the smell was, I shed my pajamas there on the driveway and walked buck-naked into the house. “Burn those pajamas, I don’t want to see them ever again,” I said. Letting the shower wash off the results of sitting in a pig wallow took a long time before toweling off and getting ready for church to play the piano. Badly shook up, I took some Ibuprofen and Tylenol to ward off any likely pain that would result. Ice, elevated legs, pain meds, staying off feet was the plan for the day. The next day swelling of the lower leg from the knee cap to the toes which had started turning blue and black - those beautiful

“Kerplunk” bruise colors. The swelling was huge and painful, especially around the ankle. The skin felt it was going to burst; the burning sensation kept on for a good week. Finally, a trip tot he doctor and having an x-ray showed no broken areas. “Just keep doing what you have been and wear a compression hose and keep active,” the doctor advised. So for the next 10 days I did all those things to no avail. The burning when standing to ‘be active’ was so bad I thought I couldn’t take it any longer. An idea came to take another water pill, doctor’s permission, during the day to help get rid of the fluid buildup and swelling and I could borrow a walker to help relieve some pressure. Sure enough, the black and blue leg started looking yellowish, the compression hose helped relieve the pressure, swelling started to go down. Perhaps the worse was over. Calling my sons to ask for prayer and let them know nothing was broken, the reply was: Son No. 3 kept saying, well, ok, Mom. Glad you are better. Ok, Mom, take care. Son No. 1 replied: “Mom, it is taking all of me not to say anything to my golf buddies?” but am glad you are better!” Son No. 2 replied: “Reminds me of the days of riding pigs when we were kids!” Needless to say, sharing the story with friends brought forth much laughter and howling with their stories of when they got caught in utterly ridiculous situations. One such story was told when a couple brought over the walker to be used. She told of waking her husband one summer night telling him the chickens were cackling. He quickly scoots out of bed, in his birthday suit, grabs his farm cap with ear muffs, dons a white shirt, slips on a pair of black rubber boots, picks up his shotgun and heads out to check on the chickens. She looks out their bedroom window and sees her hubby standing underneath the yard light in all his glory! By this time the four of us are doubling over with howling laughter, and tears running down our faces as we visualized the scene quite properly! Now that the leg is healed, orders are for no more chasing piggies. Did I ever catch the little critter? No, he got away! My wish list for Christmas coming up will be for a new pair of pink pajamas!!! Polly Williams is a doctor’s daughter, pastor’s wife, mother of 3 sons, farmer’s wife and widow. She completed her RN degree at the age of 40. Her desire now is to submit inspirational stories of her life.

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