Free
INSPIRE MAGAZINE
EMPOWERING, ENLIGHTENING AND ENTERTAINING
Fall 2017 )SSUE s 6OLUME
The day their
WORLD CHANGED Special gift makes family
whole
We honor breast cancer survivors
FemCity (OW LOCAL BUSINESSWOMEN ARE SUPPORTING EACH OTHER
You never know when the moment happens
Editor
Lisa Seiser
Content
TEAM
Writer Alexis Aguirre
Photographer Maricela Rodriguez
Graphic Designer
In one minute your life can change. You could be headed down one path, clear sailing with some bends and small bumps. And in the next, that road can be a mess, full of sharp curves, debris and hurdles. Sometimes you can find clarity and that path can become perfectly straight. Regardless of which road you are on, these life-changing moments can happen anytime. That’s exactly what several of the women in this edition of Inspire experienced. For LaHuan and Ian Guthrie, that moment was a blessing they never expected. Their late night phone call led to the child they never thought they would have. Now years later, they are the happy family they had at one point given up on having. On the other hand, for Melanie Smith and Sue Metzger, their moments were a threat to their lives and future. Both of them were told they had breast cancer. Years later, after they battled through the surgeries and sickness, they are tested and as strong as anyone. These stories are telling to the perseverance, toughness and faith of women in the Valley. But they aren’t the only ones who grace these pages with inspiration that you, too, can use to become a better
Sales
version of yourself. How about Kay Polt - at the age of 52, she participated in her first triathlon. Since then, she has become an avid competitor, entering at least three races each year. She’s proof it is never too late to change your life. In the same realm, how about Dolores Garza - she learned how to swim at the age of 48 and now participates in triathlons as well. And finally, in a true story of beating the odds and not listening to your critics, read about sisters Ann Hunsaker and Linda Golden. More than 32 years ago, they started Sisters Interiors in a small store on South Padre Island. People told them they wouldn’t last six months. Just a couple years ago, they actually built their own store in a new location on SPI and are as successful as ever. These great stories are what make the Valley and its women so special. That is the reason why we chose to publish this magazine. So, please enjoy our third Valley Women Inspire. We truly hope you are touched by these stories and the moments these women experienced. May they help you become a better person and find your own straight path.
in·spire
verb 1. fill (someone) with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.
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Lisa Seiser Editor
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Victor Cerda
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What’s inside? 12
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Fabulous Fems
The triathlon craze is on
The Gift
Winning the fight
Teaching your child about money
They’re business owners, realtors, bankers, top attorneys, public relations specialists, personal trainers, nurses and dentists – and they’re helping one another be better.
Triathlons are the latest craze in the health and fitness world. But, why are people and women in particular so into it? Find out why they fall in love with such as tough sport.
This is a tale about struggles, hopes, dreams and a gift that made what seemed improbable turn into a miracle. Read about this family’s unique journey.
Inspiring stories from survivors and those that look to make a difference through fundraising. Also, find out what makes Dining by Design such a special event here in Harlingen.
The route to financial responsibility can be a tricky road to navigate. But it no longer can be a taboo topic to discuss. Kids need to understand early about how to handle money.
4
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LEADING THE WAY
Cristina
Debbie
Giselle
Changing the way women business leaders learn, interact and support one another Story by LISA SEISER Photos courtesy of FemCity and photographer Barbara Delgado
They’re business owners, realtors, bankers, top attorneys, public relations specialists, personal trainers, nurses and dentists – just about every profession you can think of. Depending on who you talk to, they call themselves fems, girl bosses, fem sisters and the girl gang. 6
&ALL s Inspire
Sonia
Sarah
Monika
Fems
But, while their diversity is apparent, they all have one quality in common – they believe they will grow as business women and community leaders if they focus on others. That’s the FemCity mission and women of the Valley are taking it to heart. FemCity Rio Grande Valley is the fastest growing chapter in the 40,000 member organization. In just one year since it was founded, the RGV chapter has grown to
more than 100 members. There’s a reason for that success and why FemCity founder Violette de Ayala is scheduled to travel all the way to the Valley in November to celebrate with the local Fems. There’s an energy with this group that is invigorating, exciting and at the same time welcoming. In August, that energy teamed with the perfect view of McAllen from the 17th
floor of the Chase building. While watching the sunset on a beautiful, hot evening, Fems learned valuable lessons about leadership, strengths, weaknesses and how to support one another.
HOW IT ALL STARTED
Giselle Mascarenhas-Villarreal is a public relations specialist in McAllen. Based on her success as president of FemCity RGV during the past year, she’s good at what she does. Seemingly hand-plucked by FemCity and de Ayala, Giselle says she was contacted without even knowing what FemCity was. At that time, it was called Femfessionals. They were trolling me on LinkedIn, Giselle says with a smile. “They wanted a FemCity in this region and I didn’t even know what it was,” she admits while standing at a round table among talking and socializing at the FemCity RGV summer social in which more than 50 attended. “After I read and researched it, it is just so amazing. Violette lives this mission. She believes that we will grow as business women and community leaders if we focus on others and look for the good qualities in others.” It’s something Giselle is passionate about and says she doesn’t see it enough in the Valley. “What intrigued me the most was our culture in the RGV is opposite of that,” she says. “I thought, let’s do this because it is a
perfect opportunity to show that the world is doing this, why can’t we?” That’s how Giselle and Sarah Hammond, owner of Atlas Electrical, Air Conditioning, Refrigeration and Plumbing Services, joined together to create what they see as a diverse, strong network that has bonded with the community. But, it wasn’t easy trying to change a culture rooted in competition and sometimes petty nastiness. Finding members also wasn’t easy.
NOT YOUR TYPICAL NETWORKING GROUP
Sonia Marroquin owns Autonomy Rehabilitation. She doesn’t have time to waste. So, when she first heard about the women’s networking organization, she was hesitant. She admits, she wasn’t interested in going somewhere to gather and “bash husbands or men.” But it wasn’t anything like that, Sonia says. “I have met people I totally wouldn’t have met,” she says. “We want to support other women and we are learning about business. This has been the most positive experience. It feels good to support each other.” Monika Alvarez is a member of FemCity and also is the founder of Club6Digitos HQ.’ That’s a group similar to FemCity, however, it is for Spanish-speaking “girl bosses.”
WHAT IS FEMCITY? One woman’s frustration with networking groups in her community led her to create something much bigger. Violette de Ayala experienced cold, detached networking groups lacking community spirit. “That’s why I created FemCity,” she states on the organization’s website. “FemCity is your answer to challenges and struggles of trying to find a community to assist you in life and business. It was created to help you – the entrepreneur, blogger, professional, aspiring small business owner, etc. – easily and affordably create the business you crave and the life you dream to attain.” FemCity has chapters in many of the biggest cities in the country.
&ALL s Inspire
7
HOW TO CREATE A GREAT LIFE
“We mainly focus on finding a true balance in the areas that women have – financial, health, intellectual, recreation,” Monika says as music plays in the background just minutes before the FemCity social mixer starts. “We interact with different entrepreneur women and everyone has interests and talents in those areas. Networking is to expose businesses and support each other.” Monika says there was one factor for why she started her organization. “The reason we founded it is there are a lot of organizations in the Valley, but nothing with a Spanish-speaking platform,” she says. 8
&ALL s Inspire
In six months, Club6Digitos HQ’ has 60 members and is growing every day. Harlingen’s Debbie del Bosque travels to McAllen to attend the events, even after long days of working in her real estate office. But, she comes because of the intensity, energy and education that is evident during the meetings and social events. “Once you go, you see the excitement,” she says about the connection dinners and socials. “It was nice and motivating. They are consistent in that. They make the events elegant, but not stuffy and cold. I love how successful and upbeat they are.”
HOW IT CHANGES YOU
There are different reasons to be a member of FemCity and Cristina Loredo, owner and operator of Cyced Up in Harlingen is well aware. “I am 33 and I do feel like I have reached an age where I am at the point asking what is the next step,” she says. “I don’t want to just be known. I want people, I have children, and I want to leave a good name and be proud of the woman I am. I think that being part of FemCity has helped me grow. It has made me want to be better and set bigger goals.”
Learning and intention. Those are the constant buzzwords heard when speaking to FemCity women. They read self improvement books, listen to fellow expert Fems and do all they can to become the best versions of themselves. That’s how they live a life of intention – which means everything done has a reason and is a step toward a goal. “Everything you say and do should be intentional, otherwise it is wasted energy,” says Gracie Yarritu, a sales director with Mary Kay. “Ten percent of people are intentional, the other 90 percent, just ended up here.” Gracie urges her fellow Fems to take every opportunity to learn and grow. She also suggests there are some concepts that are true no matter where a person is in their life. s 7HEN WE NEVER FAIL WE are not challenging ourselves s "EING SELF AWARE IS KEY to success. During a recent RGV FemCity dinner, Gracie spoke for more than 30 minutes about strengths, weaknesses, leadership, learning and intention. They talked about books they were reading and how important it is to spend time with ourselves and converse with ourselves in a positive manner. “I believe learning never stops,” Gracie says.
FemCity has just helped me grow as a woman professional as far as leadership skills, staying motivated and learning how to approach other people.�
“
Debbie del Bosque Associate Realtor and GM Century 21 in Harlingen
LOWER VALLEY FEMCITY COMING SOON The success is apparent in the Upper Valley. But, it’s also obvious time is valuable to these FemCity business women and leaders. There are members driving from Cameron County and beyond to attend events and stay connected. That’s why plans are under way to have a Lower Valley FemCity group that will remain under the overall RGV FemCity organization. “I feel in the Lower Valley, we really don’t have anything like this with women business owners,� says Cristina Loredo, owner and operator of Cyced up in Harlingen. “I want to bring that whole idea of supporting each other to the Lower Valley.� Cristina is being groomed by Giselle Mascarenhas-Villarreal and Sarah Hammond to lead the Cameron County portion of the organization.
“We want to pay attention to Cameron County,� Giselle says. “We are business women and super busy, so we want to do even more.� Cristina and fellow Harlingen business woman Debbie del Bosque are ready to have FemCity events in the Lower Valley. “I am so glad they have chosen me to be in charge of the Lower Valley,� Cristina says. “We have so many amazing women in the Lower Valley and getting them together and supporting each other is what it is all about.� Debbie agrees. “I am hoping that it will really take off in Cameron County,� she says. “I think it will benefit a lot of professional women here.� The hope is by the end of this year or early 2018, the Lower Valley FemCity group will be going strong.
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Debbie has been a member since early on. Her goal was to reinvent herself and become more comfortable speaking in public and being more forward in meeting people. She says during the first meetings, she was seated with fellow Fems at the connection dinners whose strengths were her weaknesses. They were there to help her improve and be mentors. “These were ladies who can give you pointers on what to do and what not to do,� she says. “They intentionally put you in with other ladies to benefit you or where you can benefit them.� It was something she hadn’t experienced at other networking events. For Sarah, who helps lead FemCity RGV, networking and bigger-picture thinking was key
“
My whole mission and passion for FemCity is that it is going to change the reputation of the Valley. We aren’t full of machine guns and there aren’t cartels lined up everywhere shooting at us. We are educated, talented and we have some of the most amazing experts anywhere. We are always being branded and something different than that. This room is full of the best of the best.� Giselle Mascarenhas-Villarreal, PR Specialist, President of RGV FemCity
in the successful growth of her business. While much of that happened before FemCity, Sarah admits she’s learned about leading and other skills through the organization. “Through FEM, I have learned intention to the goal,� she says. “I love networking. I love organizational women. I love helping women grow and it is the most amazing accomplishment a
person can have. I have three daughters. If I am not going to help women, who will help my daughters?� As business woman after business woman walked in to the Skytower 17th floor in August, they were welcomed with a beautiful view as well as with hugs and smiles from Giselle and Sarah among others. For those who didn’t know each
other, they were met with handshakes and introductions. As music played in the background, the decorated room became a backdrop of what a women’s business event should be. A comfortable place for women to support each other and learn more about how they can be better as people and leaders. That’s what FemCity is all about.
GRACIE’S TIPS “I have to know myself in order to grow myself.� Mary Kay Sales Director Gracie Yarritu says technology is a huge distraction to accomplishing the goal of knowing ourselves. So few people sit and meditate or think about themselves and their lives. So much information is thrown at us constantly, she says.
“You need a thinking chair,� the FemCity member suggests. “In the morning is a great time to meditate.� She says all it takes is 20 minutes to think about what inspires us, what the day is going to be like and where we are going. It can make all the difference in the world.
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Ready, Set, The triathlon craze IS ON Rushing out of the water, women dry off as fast as they can before mounting their bike and taking off. This is known as the first transition. It is the moment in a triathlon where competitors switch off from the swim to the biking portion. Triathlons are the latest craze in the health and fitness world. The sport is a race that combines running, swimming and biking in one competition. It can be done as a team of three or solo. There are many variations of the competition. The biggest one being the Iron Man which involves a full marathon for the running portion and a 112-mile bike ride. Triathlons are tough and excruciating - a sport that requires proper training.
GO! 2017 All Girls Triathlon &ALL s Inspire
13
Story by ALEXIS AGUIRRE Photos by MARICELA RODRIGUEZ
So why do people do it? “Because doing one sport is boring,” Kay Polt says while leaning up against the backroom doorway at Bicycle World in Harlingen. Kay is proof that it’s never too late to try something new. At the age of 52, Kay completed her first triathlon. Since then, she has become an avid competitor, entering at least three races each year. Kay considered herself active as a child. She would casually ride her bike around town, but never to the intensity that she rides now. Before becoming an avid cyclist, the bikes, from Walmart to specialty shops, were all the same to her. Now she insists there is a distinct different between all bikes and their capabilities. She has become a sort of professional. With four bikes, each with their different uses, Kay has taken to the sport and has added running and swimming to the list. It’s a lifestyle, but not one without its troubles. “This body don’t run,” Kay says pointing her forefinger toward her body and laughing.
When asked how she started, Kay says it had something to do with shoes and like a flip of a switch, she started moving. “I bought a pair of shoes and I swear to God I felt like running, it was weird,” Kay says. Soon after, she added swimming to her routine and completed her first triathlon. “I was the last one out of the pool but I was not the last one across the finish line,” Kay says. It’s a challenge, but she says it’s one that can be done. With all the groups available around town promoting fitness and health, getting started is becoming more accessible for firsttimers. Groups like Lone Star Pacesetters have been around for more than two decades and bring together like-minded people to join in on the fitness and social aspect while meeting their physical goals, like completing triathlons. Ana Adame is the manager at Bicycle World in Harlingen and is in charge of putting the triathlon races together. The races are all sanctioned, which means each participant is given a chip that tracks their time which then can be used to register for other triathlons that have requirements to enter. Two of the most popular triathlons that Ana has put on have been the TriGirls Sprint Triathlon and the kid’s triathlon. “We saw the need and we are here to help them meet their goals,” Ana says. “They keep pushing the limits and we’re here to help them achieve their goal.”
“
I bought a pair of shoes
and I swear to God
I felt like running” 14
&ALL s Inspire
- Kay Polt, shown left
2017 All Girls Triathlon
UPCOMING RACES/EVENTS Triathlon at SPI: Oct. 8 Ride for Rotary: Oct. 15 Dia de los Muertos Bike tour: Oct. 28 Duathlon: Oct. 29
WANT TO GET STARTED? HERE ARE SOME TIPS: - Ask questions - Find someone who knows what they are doing
The need for races Th suc as the triathlons is such co continually growing. An had to cap the all Ana gir triathlon at 150 girls pa participants and had mo than 100 children more com compete in the child’s triath triathlon. Ana ad doesn’t compete herself, but she is working on it. She just recently celebrated her 60th birthday and started to learn how to swim, which according to her, isn’t that uncommon. “People have a fear from childhood and they just never want to learn,� Ana says.
2017 All Girls Triathlon
Dolores Garza has been participating in the all girls triathlon for the past three years. She learned how to swim at the age of 48. Dolores started with the help of her husband and has felt stronger with every race she completes. It has become a
- Start small - Do your research - Train
community of people in South Texas looking to complete goals together. “Everyone just encourages everyone,� Adame says. According to Rick Seija, who is from Lone Star Pacesetters, the sport has grown in the past three to four years. “The people who have always been active are influencing those who haven’t,� Seija says. To Kay, there is a social aspect that creates a healthy competition among friends. “You meet people from all walks of life,� she says. Kay suggests relays are a great way to get started in triathlons for those who are intimidated or unsure of their capabilities. If a person’s strong suit is swimming, finding two other people who can complete the running and biking portion of the race can help build confidence. “Make friends with someone who knows what they’re doing so you’re not completely lost,� Kay says. Kay’s workout schedule varies and involves two days of running, two days of swimming and two days of riding with one day of rest. Remember, “doing just one sport is boring.�
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COVER STORY
How a late night phone call
changed their world
The
Story by Lisa Seiser Photos by Maricela Rodriguez
Ella Guthrie, the steamy wind messing with her straight, sandy blonde hair, turned and asked her mom if she could go play. The 7-year-old, who was quick to point out she would be 8 soon, wasn’t dressed like the other kids. Ella was wearing a cute, summer, coral-colored dress with a fancy necklace. She had dressed up to come to Pendleton Park for a photo shoot. But after about 30 minutes, it was apparent Ella preferred the playground equipment over being in front of the camera. She received an affirmative answer from mom and she bounced off out of sight. Her parents LaHuan and Ian, with wide smiles, watched her every move. It was just a few days after the family celebrated the anniversary of their best day ever. That was the day LaHuan and Ian officially adopted Ella. But there’s much more to the story than an adoption. This is a tale about struggles, hopes, dreams and a gift that made what seemed improbable turn into a miracle. LaHuan and Ian met at work, at KVEO TV, and began dating around 1992. They fell in love and married in 1995. They both agreed they wanted children. However, year after year, it
just wasn’t happening. They tried the old fashioned way. That didn’t work. They later tried a fertility specialist. That resulted in a miscarriage and heartbreak. They looked into the possibility of adoption. They even spent some time with a young girl in which there was a thought of adopting her. But that just didn’t work out, either. The couple admits they were “getting up there” in age and had started to accept they likely weren’t going to be parents. “We talked about it probably not happening for us,” LaHuan says while sitting in a Harlingen restaurant telling her story. “I think I never wanted to admit that and couldn’t let it go. I believed with all &ALL s Inspire
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my heart, some way, somehow, it was all going to work out.” But, Ian says he had conceded that it was likely just going to be the two of them growing older. They even talked about moving to Seattle and other areas of the country. Then, something happened that neither of them could have ever expected. A late night phone call seemed to start out as another dagger in the heart of LaHuan, who wanted a child so badly. Her second cousin, Missy, was on the line. She had been living in California and hadn’t consistently been in contact with LaHuan. But, this night, she called to tell LaHuan of her impending pregnancy. LaHuan congratulated Missy. But that wasn’t the reason for the call. “She said, ‘You don’t understand what I am trying to tell you,’” LaHuan says with some emotion stirring. “‘I really feel that this is your child.’” Ian remembers the call because LaHuan was crying with joy. He says she could hardly speak, but was able to tell Missy, they would call her back. Of course, the answer was an easy one for LaHuan and Ian. It turned out, Missy wasn’t in a good place in her life to have a child. Apparently, she had recently been separated. Then, an effort to have another family adopt Missy’s baby didn’t pan out. After that, Missy’s mom told her to call me, LaHuan says, because she knew how much we wanted a child and how hard we had tried. Missy’s troubles led her to move in with LaHuan and Ian when she was in her first trimester. This is where the adoption becomes different from most others. LaHuan and Ian were able to experience all the doctor’s appointments, testing and pregnancy. That, in itself, created a closer connection between the soon-to-be parents and the baby. They were all together when they raced to the hospital after Missy’s water broke in a restaurant in San Antonio. Ian actually drove the car and as a police officer pulled beside them on the highway, Missy rolled down the window and yelled, “I am in labor.” The officer waved them on, Ian recalls with a smile the story Ella begged him to tell. Hours later, both were in the delivery room when Ella arrived. LaHuan’s mother was there, taking pictures and documenting every moment. Ian even cut the umbilical cord, just like a biological father would. “The two of us were standing over her, grinning like crazy and giving her kisses,” Ian says with a grin. “The nurse comes over and says, ‘you may want me to clean her off first.’” “We didn’t even think about that,” LaHuan says. “We were just so excited.”
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To tell or not to tell
We’ve all heard the stories. Adults who didn’t know they were adopted. That won’t happen with little Ella Guthrie. She may be young, but she already knows she’s adopted and also easily talks about her biological mother, calling her by her first name. “We always were going to be open and age appropriate with Ella as much as possible,” LaHuan says. “From the moment she was born, we read books and talked about adoption.” LaHuan posts many pictures of her, Ella and Ian on Facebook and Missy is in contact with the family via social media. Now living in Dallas, Missy is expected to visit with the family in November, so Ella will see her biological mother. Missy comments on posts and states how wonderful the family is. She doesn’t seem to have any regrets about giving Ella up for adoption, LaHuan says. “We all say, we love Ella so much and Missy loved mommy and daddy so much, she wanted us to be a family,” LaHuan says. The couple believes its important Ella understands that.
Adoption day
Timing is never right, just do it LaHuan and Ian Guthrie have learned plenty from the experiences of the past 10 or so years. They’ve had the worst of times – a miscarriage – and the realization they may never have children. They’ve had their best times – a miracle gift – and now a happy family. One thing they’ve learned through all of it is, if you want something, never lose hope and just do it. “If you want to do it, don’t wait,” Ian says. “There will never be a right time and that is what we found out, too. You are never going to be in your life and say … now is the time.” LaHuan says she was talking to friends who kept saying “it wasn’t the right time – not enough money, not the right timing” to have children. “We tried to explain to her, take it from us, there will never be the right time,” LaHuan says while
staring and smiling at Ella, who is preoccupied with a Smartphone. “Don’t wait. Don’t let the time pass by.” But that’s not all they’ve learned. LaHuan says never give up on your hopes and dreams of what you want for yourself. That relates to your family, career and beyond. For LaHuan, it was about having a child and family. “In my head I kept saying it was OK,” she says about the thoughts of not having a child. “But, in my heart it was different. What it came to is that I had hope and didn’t want to let go of that hope.” That hope turned into reality. “Once it is in your heart, don’t let that go,” she says. “Once it is in your heart, don’t give up. I had no idea how this was going to work out, but I truly believed this miracle was going to happen. I held on to that hope. We just hoped and prayed for Ella and we are just so happy.”
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That excitement turned quickly to exhaustion. “I think we may have waited a little too long,” Ian says joking about being older parents. “It was tiring. I see why people have kids when they are younger.” It doesn’t help that Ella is in constant motion, relatively typical of most 7- and 8-year-olds. But it seems as though Ella is on a different level. “She is just nonstop, which is not like me,” Ian says. “She is a bundle of energy, singing, dancing and moving all the time.’” She’s been that way for as long as LaHuan
and Ian can remember. “When she was a baby, she was always moving,” LaHuan says. “During our early hospital visits, we were told, you are getting a glimpse of this baby’s personality. When she was a baby, she was constantly moving her feet and hands. So, we took her to the doctor. They said she is just going to be very active.” Now, Ella plays soccer, she loves science and admittedly “dances in the shower” especially when mom and dad aren’t looking. She squirms around and watches TV while hanging upside down on the couch. “I don’t think she can sit still for a minute,”
Adoption day
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“ Ella was our little miracle that allowed me to realize that this was what my life was all about.� - LaHuan Guthrie Ian says, challenging Ella, who sits with her elbows on the table at a Harlingen restaurant, listening to her parents talk about her. Just seconds earlier, she was taking selfies in the restaurant. “Can I blink?� Ella asks about the challenge, which she forgets about a few seconds later. Let’s just say, her father was right. LaHuan, who now works in fundraising for Driscoll Children’s Hospital and the Children’s Miracle Network, was able to take some time off when Ella was younger. That’s also when the family came back to the Valley after years in San Antonio. Both grew up in the Valley and Ian’s parents are here. At times, Ella stayed at home with Ian, who works remotely in his home office. “Before we moved back down here, she would stay with me during the day as a baby,� Ian says. “The crib was in my office. She would just roll around on the floor and nap on some pillows and a blanket.� That has led to the closeness of this family, Ella saying her parents are good “when they are not mad at me, which isn’t a lot.� While it seems as though this was a match made in heaven, there were some tough times.
LaHuan and Ian admit the 11-month journey toward final adoption wasn’t easy. Ella’s father had to be located and LaHuan and Ian always had a question in the back of their minds. Would Missy want Ella back? Missy ended up staying with the family after Ella was born and that sometimes had Ian concerned. “That was long and scary,� LaHuan says. I think we were always wondering if she was going to change her mind. Until that paper is signed, it is not final.� Different from some adoptions, these parents had really bonded with Ella, from before she was even born and through the first nearly 11 months of her life. “We didn’t miss anything,� Ian says about Ella growing
up. “We were getting so close and so attached and I thought what happens if this doesn’t happen. I don’t know what we would have done.� “I don’t know how we could have recovered,� LaHuan says about if Missy would have changed her mind or the adoption didn’t go through.� But, it was meant to be. “We were Ella’s parents from the moment she was born,� LaHuan says. So, on Aug. 13, 2010 the adoption was finalized. It was five weeks before Ella’s first birthday and was the happiest day of their lives. During the past seven years since that time, Ella has grown into a young lady who loves pizza, hot dogs and mint chocolate chip ice cream and isn’t afraid to say it. She has learned how to roller skate, make videos, take pictures and her next goal is to read a million words. “Missy is our very own angel on this earth,� LaHuan says. “Without her, we would not have this beautiful little child right here.�
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WINNING
ancethought r doesn’t define IC always me. B ut, if you are gI odon’t ing want to breast cancer happened to let it to define you, lwear et itit on my sleeve, but I people in their 50s d e f i n e y o u i n a p o s i t i v e waymy .” role is feel like and 60s. It hit my to give people grandmother in her encouragement.” 70s.”
“ “
“
When you find out you have cancer, it is almost like someone sticking a vacuum in your mouth and sucking all the air out.”
“
This is a sisterhood. It’s one you don’t want to be a part of, but it is a sisterhood.”
THE
FIGHT Inspiring stories from BREAST CANCER SURVIVORS and those who DESIRE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE
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TRULY
UNIQUE Dining by Design making a difference for ACS Story and Photos by Lisa Seiser
It’s not your typical American Cancer Society fundraising effort. It’s whimsical, beautiful, fun and most of all, creative. Stepping into Casa de Amistad for the annual Dining by Design event, your visual senses are challenged to experience each and every detail. There’s a sense of magic as you walk between the dozens of creative table settings. You can imagine the work involved and feel the time, effort and creativity that went into each one. And all that time is spent to raise money for a great cause. “We all have family members or know someone who has been affected by cancer,” participant Diana Garcia says minutes after gathering for a special photo of the designers. “Getting together with all the ideas, the creativity behind the work and to raise the funds for the local area, it is wonderful to support a great cause. We are all here to find a cure for cancer.” Laura Warren, who grew up in Harlingen and recently moved back, knows finding a cure means raising money. In the New England area, where she lived for years, Laura was involved in the American Cancer Society through relays and other events. She was on one of the top fundraising teams in New England. Although last year was her first year involved in Dining by Design, she couldn’t wait to move back to the Valley to be part of this effort. 30
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Designing for a cure Since 2001, Dining by Design has donated more than $660,000 to the American Cancer Society. This year’s event is set for Thursday, Nov. 2, at Casa de Amistad in Harlingen. There’s a daytime viewing event from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. with the cost of $25 in advance or $30 at the door. Then, that evening, seats are limited and sought after. If you would like to attend, contact Natalie Leal at (965- 244-1789. Seats at the tables are $100 each. For more information, go to www.diningbydesignrgv.com.
2017 designers ““When W I came back down e, I had a lot of friends doing here, an n I just couldn’t believe this and m how much they raised in a day,” ys “I couldn’t believe it. I she says. n’t ’tt wait to be part of it.” couldn’t e 2001, 2 Since the Dining by e Design event, which is held in a a has raised $660,000. single d day, ar the event hauled in Last year, about $8 $85,000. yT Kelly Trolinger, who has de for years, but had a attended table fo for the first time last year, says h her participation is all ou u the cause. about “W W all want to get rid of can“We ccer,” er she says. “It is fascinating tto see the community with their creative juices come together.” Diana is the sole creator of her design. She already knows what
she’s going to do. Laura says she has 90 percent of hers complete. As of last month, Susie hadn’t started hers yet, but she has a plan in mind. One thing they have in common, they each have been affected by cancer. Susie is a cancer survivor herself and her father has cancer. Kelly’s family, friends and father all have been touched by cancer. That’s why Dining by Design is part of their lives and they are ready for another great event. “If people have not attended during the day or evening, they are missing out on one of the best places to be to see what this community can do for fun and for a great cause,” Kelly says.
2016 tables
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SURVIV R’S STORY S
Film seen as teen helps woman determine she has breast cancer
Story and Photo by Lisa Seiser
ue Metzger doesn’t shy away from talking about her battle with breast cancer 18 years ago. A couple hours after a morning of golf on the links at Harlingen Country Club, Sue is open and honest about the experience that changed her. Just 44 at the time, Sue was diagnosed in 2000. “But I knew for a year I had breast cancer,” she says. “I just had a hard time getting it diagnosed.” She had found a lump in her breast and it was causing a dimple. It also was making her nipple face the wrong direction. A video she had seen many years earlier helped her recognize the symptoms. She says in high school, she worked in a dress shop where they sold bras and altered swimming suits for women who had mastectomies or scars from breast cancer surgery. “The salesman for the bras showed us a film which showed breasts that had breast cancer,” she says. “I recognized it from the film he had shown us.” But, her primary physician kept telling her it was “nothing to worry about.” Despite hearing that from her doctor for months, Sue knew in her heart something wasn’t right. She didn’t have the energy she used to and her breasts ached. “When they tell you there’s nothing to worry about, that is what you want to believe and you do for awhile,” she says. “Then, it gets worse and you can’t wait any longer.” It was a good thing she sought out her second opinion. The other doctor she saw immedi-
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ately knew – it was breast cancer and it was stage 2. Seven days later, she was in surgery. Chemotherapy followed for the next six months and then radiation for another six weeks. “My last treatment was Christmas Eve morning in 2000,” the longtime hairdresser says proudly. Since that time, she has kept an eye on it by continuing breast exams, mammograms and seeing her oncologist. So far, so good. Sue also talks about another issue openly and freely. That was her two-year depression following her treatment. “I ended up on medication for two years because I had survivor’s guilt,” she says. “There were three other ladies
diagnosed at the same time as me and none of them made it. It was really hard. I kept thinking, what is so special about me? Why am I still here?” Although she is not sure of that answer and what “God has in store for her,” the life and death experience has made her a better person. “I feel like I am a more considerate person. I kind of felt like all of a sudden, God had a plan for me … I am still trying to figure that out. He allowed me to survive for some reason.” She also says she looks at certain things much differently and is much less self-centered. “Anytime you go through something life threatening, it changes the way you look at things,” she says. “I used to dread birthdays. I cried the whole week before my 30th birthday. “Now, I can’t wait for birthdays because I am still here.”
SUE’S ADVICE TO WOMEN “Get a second opinion,” Sue Metzger says quickly after being asked what she would want to tell fellow women. “If you feel something is wrong with you, and that you should feel better than you do, keep looking for what it might be.” She says you must find the answer whether it is breastcancer related or another health matter. “These doctors don’t know everything,” Sue adds. “Get your
mammograms and do self exams.” She suggests women be their own best advocates when it comes to their health.
“I am a SURVIVOR.
I am proud of that fact. And I am happy about it, too.� - Sue Metzger Palm Valley resident who faced breast cancer head on
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Her personal 9Local woman doesn’t let breast cancer define who she is Story and Photo by Lisa Seiser Melanie Smith was 37 and enjoying life as an elementary school librarian in Brownsville. But just as the events of Sept. 11, 2001, changed the world, Melanie was about to embark on her own battle, one she still deals with every day. It was in fall 2001 when Melanie found a lump. She says it felt like her bra underwire was hooking her, but she had the same feeling even at night when not wearing a bra. So, she went to have it checked. A mammogram showed nothing, but a sonogram proved Smith had a mass the size of a quarter. “They said it had been growing for five years,” she says. The first week of October, results of a needle biopsy revealed cancer. But it could have been worse. It hadn’t reached the lymph nodes.
Melanie’s tips s Don’t think you can’t get diagnosed with breast cancer just because it hasn’t been in the family. There always has to be a first. s Self checks are imperative s Listen to your body s Get mammograms and if you are a bigger woman, have an ultrasound. s If diagnosed, go to the best and worry about how to pay for it later. “It is not a time to discount.” s Don’t wait until it’s too late
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“I was very lucky,” the now 53-year-old says. “The doctors said I was lucky.” But still not fortunate enough to avoid surgery, chemotherapy and radiation. And it was definitely scary to hear all those words. Melanie’s diagnosis had followed a loss at the school she was at. About a week earlier, a fellow teacher had lost her own battle with breast cancer. “Because that loss had been so tough on the school, I didn’t tell the kids,” she says. “I didn’t want to freak the kids out because that was still so fresh.” Melanie had her surgery in October and went through all the typical stages, including fatigue, extreme headaches and hair loss among others, throughout the weeks of chemotherapy. During that time, Melanie continued to work when she could. She even continued to participate in a play and with
Don’t be afraid to ask for help Harlingen’s Melanie Smith has many things to say about breast cancer – but her most poignant is “Don’t’ be so proud” to not ask for help. Melanie says people will feel good if they can do something for you. “It is good for their soul,” she says. “Don’t feel like you have to do everything yourself.” However, she cautioned about the time and place to ask for help. She says you do not want to be one of those people who take advantage of others. But, there are some times when you need help and you should ask without feeling weak, Melanie says. “People step up that you would never think of,” she says. “This cuts across economic lines and all spectrums.”
her choral musical group. “There were things I couldn’t do, but I tried to stay involved,” she says. On April 4, 2002, she finished her last treatment. Breast cancer survivors consider it like a birthday. Still concerned about a recurrence, she has her blood tested every three months. “The old adage is you appreciate life more,” Melanie says about her battle. For her, there’s more. It goes back to a story about a time when she went to MD Anderson in Houston and talked to an older woman there for her daughter. “She finally said, ‘God healed you, right, she said well you have a story to tell.’ Some people just want to erase it from memory like it never happened. I don’t want to wear it on my sleeve, but I feel like my role is to give people encouragement.”
“
Just when I would feel bad about things, the phone would ring. It was somebody calling to ask how things were going and if they could do something. So, I always tell people if you know somebody going through that, and you have a feeling that you need to call them, do it.” Melanie Smith
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NECKLAC JEWELRY
THAT MAKE
OUTFIT THE
CES A family affair
It was April 2014 when Kymberly y Meade’s life changed. Charlene, her mother-in-law living ng her dream of owning Cita’s Boutique,, died suddenly of a heart attack. That’s when Kymberly, who was marketing for the Texas Citrus Fiesta sta at the time, was asked by her father-in-law, aw,, Gary, to help run the store. “It was hard,” she says. “It was survival. urvival.. We were all just trying to keep going. This was her heart and soul and there wass no question I would do whatever I could.” ould.” And, it’s been great. Kymberly loves oves what she does, the business has expanded and there are long term goals. s. “I have always loved fashion,” she he says. “I enjoy helping people find the perfect gift and helping people who n. may need a little help with fashion. That is fun and satisfying.” n trends She also stays up on the fashion a’s,, while and talks about the future of Cita’s, e store on standing in her Harlingen boutique S. 77 Sunshine Strip. s,” “This was her dream to have this,” Kymberly says of Charlene who moved the ore to jewelry items from the BullRider store create Cita’s about six years ago.. “Our dream is to expand. We did with the store in Brownsville and we are always thinking about what is next.” No doubt Charlene would be proud.
KYMBERLY’S FASHION TIPS Stick with classic looks rather than fads. Seek necklaces and jewelry you are comfortable with and will also stand the test of time. You may pick a fall trending color, but make sure the style to the jewelry is classic and it not going out of style. There’s nothing wrong with mixing and matching. Like the idea of not wearing white after Labor Day, “people are just inching off the rules.” It is self expression. But, make sure you pair things tastefully and not too crazy.
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We tell you what necklaces go w OFF THE SHOULDER TOP
ONE SHOULDER TOP
What necklace to wear – Long layers of necklaces do not “chop the look off at your shoulders. Showing Brighton Orbit and Meridian long necklaces.
What necklace to wear – Choker necklaces are a huge trend right now. They come in a variety of different styles from chunky to delicate. This Kendra Scott Harper rose gold is a trending color and looks great on all ages.
LOW ROUND NECKLINE What necklace to wear – Many options here again – convertible necklace or petite necklace. Here is the Kendra Scott Phara that can be worn four different ways
Alainie Garza
V-NECK TOP What necklace to wear – Another classic neckline with many options – long layers, a simple drop, long pendant or a petite statement Kendra Scott Delaney necklace as shown here.
Cindy Becerra
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with which necklines COLLARED TOP
HIGH ROUND NECK
What necklace to wear – There are many options with this classic neckline – a simple drop pendant, a long pendant or a statement necklaces as is shown here.
What necklace to wear – Many options here. In this case, long layers showing a Kendra Scott statement necklace
What’s HOT AND TRENDING this fall CHOKERS
Mirna Thomas
ue tiq
Collectibles H om Gifts eD
e
r! co
EMBELLISHED COLLAR TOP
Bo u
TASSLES
What necklace to wear – Keep it short and delicate shown with this Brighton Reina
Come Browse the Hive!
Sisterly Succ Story and Photo by Lisa Seiser
t would be difficult to imagine one without the other. They finish each other’s sentences, wear the same colors and sometimes even the same outfits. And they constantly refer to one another as “sister.” It’s also obvious the respect and love they have for one another and their talents and abilities. Sisters Ann Hunsaker and Linda Golden have no trouble alternating thoughts seamlessly as they tell stories about their 32 years in business as the founders and owners of Sisters Interiors on South Padre Island. Sitting at a huge glass table in their beautiful 5,000-square-foot store they designed and built a couple years ago, the pair look back at their successes and failures and what has made the difference.
I
Despite being 18 months younger than her sister, Ann is quick and ready to talk about their initial struggles after deciding to start the business. Ann had never spent a night on South Padre Island, but she and her husband moved from Turks and Caicos. That was in 1983. Linda was living in Dallas at that time, where the sisters grew up. Then, their mother died. “That left me in Dallas and Ann called me and said, you know, let’s do something,” Linda says. “That is where the idea was all born. We sat down one evening and designed our mermaid logo and the whole thing.” But, the struggles started even before the business got off the ground. Although they planned to bring creativity that had not seen before on the island, the sisters received mostly negative feedback about their plan in 1986. “They were laughing at us at the bank that we would never make it,” Ann says. The sisters received a $50,000 loan from First National Bank to start. “We had a grand opening and invited all these people and we had antiques and art,” Ann says. “That was our thing. 40
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But they didn’t think we would make it. They gave us six months. We never forgot that.” Those naysayers didn’t realize these sisters don’t quit. Their work ethic and creativity comes from their father and they are fighters who are not afraid of change and reinventing themselves or their business. There were rough times. During the early years in winter, it was slow on the island. So, the sisters packed up their stuff and headed north. They attended Junior League Christmas shows and churches to talk to ladies about design and table settings. They eventually became known in Houston, San Antonio and even in Austin. A huge mirror made with hundreds of broken pieces of pottery and other decorations hangs on the wall of the business, seemingly as a reminder to their struggles and their ability to create something beautiful out of what most others would throw away. “We saved everything we broke,” Linda says proudly. They have tubs of broken items they have hauled around for 30 years to prove it, Ann adds.
cess
Nobody thought their business would last
except them
Ann (standing) and older sister Linda in their element at Sisters Interiors at SPI
Design tips by Ann Popular colors Ann Hunsaker of Sisters Interiors has an eye for color and she said when designing, it’s important to go with your own tastes when it comes to color. “The popular colors are now aquas, all the blues, grays and whites,” she says. While black and white are considered no color, they can be important to your design and color palette. She says you can always add your color punches, like bright colors to accent.
The little things Ann is all about balancing a room, but she knows it’s the little things that are huge when it comes to design and creating a unique and quality look for a home. Locations of windows, the types of doors, window treatments, molding and unique ceiling looks are the difference between a typical home and one that is different and special.
Classic looks Having solid “bones” of a home is key, but they also have to be classic, as Ann says. You don’t want to pick trendy tile, flooring or walls. She says you want the kind of look that can last years from now. “I get bored with certain looks and I will change it up,” Ann says. “But I never change it so that it won’t look good 20 years from now. If you go modern, you stay classic. Being classic, that is the key.” If the bones are classic, you never tire of them, she says.
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For these two, change has been key to success. While they started out more vintage, their store and tastes are now eclectic. “I feel like we shop with an eye that God gave us,” Ann says. “We see it and we know it at the time.” They pride themselves on staying on top of the trends. “When we see the industry doing something similar to us, then you move to something else,” Linda says. “We always wanted to be the beginning.” Most importantly, they want to make sure they are focused on original pieces you can’t find in other locations, including online. They do that by working with artists and reinventing, designing and building their own furniture as well. Ann brings her interior design talents, while Linda’s strengths are more artistic. It was about 20 years ago when Ann started to remodel and redesign condos and homes on the island. Linda’s talents led her to gift wrapping and recreating and mending old pieces people would bring in. “The gift wrapping really put us on the map,” Ann says about Linda’s
work. “People would come far and wide just to get a gift and have it wrapped here.” As they intermingle anecdotes about their designing and gift wrapping, it’s apparent they definitely have differences, but fit together like a puzzle. As one employee, also known as family to the sisters, puts it, “They are amazing ladies. It is magical. It is a gift these two women have.” That has been their story of success along with caring about the job at hand. They didn’t even realize how well they were doing until a couple years ago when they had the desire to expand by building their own store. “I never thought we would get to the point where we would own our own,” Ann says. “It was so strange because we worked so hard and didn’t know what a good position we were in credit wise. They just loaned us the money.” That was a far cry from 30 years earlier. “You know Annie, I don’t know, but I always knew we would make it,” Linda says. Together.
The next generation They’re still going strong, but both Ann Hunsaker and Linda Golden admit a time will come when they won’t be able to keep going at Sisters Interiors as they do now. But, unlike many company owners, they have a plan and it already is in play. Ann and Linda each have a daughter and both of them will eventually take over the family business. Jennifer McGee already is at the business every day. Stefani Harrison will return to South Padre on a full-time basis in the spring of 2019. Both, who are more like sisters themselves than cousins, have been learning different aspects of the business during the past few years. “My mother and Linda are extremely talented and creative,” Stefani says. “They are our mothers. They have taught us well. I think we have great genes.” Jennifer, who was sitting just steps from her mother and aunt as they told story after story about their 32 years in business, says she is looking forward to taking over the business when the time comes. At the moment, she is trying to take it all in. “This is my perfectionist side that
I don’t like, but I want to understand every aspect of the business in a functional way,” she says. “Maybe it is not my area of expertise, but I get it. Right now I am trying to absorb all if it. There are so many sides of it.” Jennifer is a former art teacher whose niche is more in interior design. She and her husband moved down to SPI from north of Dallas recently to work at the store. It was a little earlier than they thought, but Jennifer says it was time. Stefani, on the other hand, started working in retail at the age of 15. She worked for the original Abercrombie & Fitch and Neiman Marcus in Dallas and Atlanta. She will focus on the retail side. Currently, she is handling Sisters social media. Just like their mothers, they complement each other perfectly. “I’ve worked in and out of this family business for 30 years,” Stefani says. “Jennifer and I just started working together on projects for Sisters and buying for the store about two years ago. But, we grew up together, much more like sisters than cousins. We are working great together because we know each other so well. Besides, we are family. We love each other and always have each others back.”
Their big day Linda Golden says they still talk about those days. How did a small store on little South Padre Island do it? Linda calls it one of their most magical moments … probably their first magical moment. It was 1988 and Sisters became one of only 12 stores selected in the United States to have MacKenzie-Childs items in it. The prize was a visit from Victoria MacKenzie-Childs, the artist who created the pieces. In preparation, the store purchased items on credit for the event. They made it a big production – throwing rose petals at her feet upon arrival and having a Captain Morgan pirate at the front door. It all worked.
Ann and Linda
MacKenzie-Childs was supposed to be at the store for one day to sign a few items. Instead she signed item after item and stayed three days. “It was like the dollar store at Christmas,” Ann says about the inventory and reactions. “People were dragging up big pieces like chairs and sinks to have them signed and they were fighting over them.” In one day, Sisters sold $150,000 in MacKenzie-Childs merchandise. “If it hadn’t been successful, we wouldn’t be here today,” Ann admits. “We still own that record,” Linda says about the number of items signed and sold.
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BOOK REVIEW
“When the English Fall” By Terri Schlichenmeyer Book reviewer
Your parents taught you to share. You have enough to give some away. Don’t be stingy or selfish. Be good. Be generous. Be friends. Share nicely, but watch, as in the new book “When the English Fall” by David Williams, that it doesn’t bring harm to your family. Sadie’s screams cut Jacob to his core. He knew she was in pain, but he was helpless. He was her father, and he should have been able to fix her seizures. But the best he could do was listen to her nonsensical rants and pray that God spare his eldest child more hurt. Jacob was aware that people talked. His neighbors gossiped about Sadie’s seizures and visions, and they wondered if God was unhappy with Jacob’s furnituremaking business. He knew that. Even Bishop Schrock came once a month to ask Jacob to stop working with an English man named Mike, but Mike was a friend. Though he was coarse, he was a trustworthy bridge between his people and the Plain folk. Jacob was glad for that. Mike brought news of the world when he came to fetch the furniture Jacob had finished, which was how Jacob learned of trouble outside their Pennsylvania community. There were power outages, and utility battles were intensifying. The National Guard was called out in some bigger cities, and people were running out of food. Still, while it was true that he heard distant gunfire at night and he was glad Mike kept him updated, the fact was that Jacob worried little about worldly affairs. No, more pressing things concerned him. Sadie’s spells, for one. Another, making sure his farm was tended, and his family’s needs were met for the winter, even 44
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though it seemed, with “global warming,” that winter wasn’t coming. What did come was trouble. As English society fell, as people hungered, looted, and killed, the Guard asked the Amish for help. They had food to eat. They had larders and knowledge. But how much did God expect them to give? Start “When the English Fall” and be prepared for several things. You’ll get funny looks. A postApocalyptic Amish novel? How does that work? (It works fine. Better than fine. It’s incredible). You’ll be blown away by the juxtaposition of serene beauty, mindfulness, prayer, and a dark urgent terribleness-to-come. (That works, too. Very much so). And you’ll want to prepare your chair, because author David Williams has ensured that it’s the only place you’ll want to be. There, and inside this story of friendship, current events, love, and a scenario that isn’t so farfetched: modern society suddenly collapses everywhere except in places where it’s already not welcome. It’s a gentle, darkly-calm sort of warning wrapped in aching loveliness, one that will leave you wondering what would really happen, if … Be aware that this is not a zombie book. Also, there are periods of slowness in this book that serve to bolster the whole of the story, and it’s a stunner. You’ll love “When the English Fall” so much, you’ll need to share.
“WHEN THE ENGLISH FALL” By DAVID WILLIAMS c.2017, Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill $24.95 / $37.95 Canada 242 pages
ou’ll be blown away by the juxtaposition of serene beauty, mindfulness, prayer, and a dark urgent terribleness-to-come.
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TEACHING Y OUR CHILDR EN It can’t be a taboo topic anymore
Story by Alexis Aguirre Photo by Maricela Rodriguez
The route to financial responsibility can be a tricky road to navigate, especially for parents wanting to send their children off to college. On average, the cost of tuition and fees at a state university in Texas is $28,664 for four years. That doesn’t include room and board, books and other fees. And those costs rise each year. This makes saving up and making sure a student is prepared for the financial responsibility of adulthood a daunting task. &ALL s Inspire
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Who is Missy Morrow? s -ISSY HAS BEEN #%/ OF 2'6#5 SINCE s 3HE GREW UP IN 3AN "ENITO s 7ENT TO 4EXAS ! s (AS A MASTER S IN !GRICULTURE s !FTER GRADUATION SHE MOVED TO #ORPUS #HRISTI AND DECIDED TO TAKE A JOB AS A DRIVE UP TELLER AT A CREDIT UNION WHERE SHE WAS FAMILIAR BECAUSE HER MOTHER HAD WORKED AT ONE s 3IX YEARS LATER SHE RETURNED TO THE 6ALLEY s -ARRIED TO 3AM -ORROW s (AS ONE DAUGHTER AND THREE GRANDCHILDREN
Quick financial tips • 0AY yourself first by arranging a portion of
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your check to go directly into a savings or retirement account. !VOID new debt 3ET savings goals +EEP a monthly budget to make sure you tell your money what to do. 2ECORD your expenses to stay on track and on your budget 3TART SAVING as early as possible. If you are investing that money, it will only pay off later on. #UT expenses by removing “luxuries” from your budget
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Did you know?
$5,700
$16,048
The average American Household has this credit card debt
The average credit card balance for balance-carrying households
38.1
Percent of all households carry some credit card debt
Those with lowest net worth hold an average of $10,308 in credit card debt
Missy Morrow has spent the past 33 years working in the financial industry and 28 of those years with RGVCU, giving her a little insight into what it means to be financially responsible. And she has advice for parents looking to teach their children about the world of money.
Be honest and open about the family’s finances. “If you were raised in a household that saved and shared that with you and were raised in a household where money was spoken about and there were no secrets, those people are most likely to succeed,” Missy says. Sitting down with your children and going through expenses and explaining the family’s income can be a very positive thing for the child. Children will be able to better understand where the money goes and become more cautious and conscious about money. The downfall for many parents, according to Missy, is trying to give more than they should to their children. Trying to provide the best of everything and living outside a family’s means can lead to their children developing those bad habits.
Saving up for college seems nearly impossible for any family, despite income. “I don’t think you’re ever realistically prepared for what it costs for a child to go to college,” Missy says. FAFSA is not always realistic in contributions a family can make for a student’s education. A lot of families end up falling in what Missy calls a donut hole, where the family’s income is too much to qualify for any financial aid but not enough to properly fund the child’s college education. Saving and preparing beforehand is the best option. Missy says currently, rates are too low to make it a good option to use a regular savings account for future college students. Instead, she recommends opening a 529 account. Missy’s favorite thing about a 529 account is the ability to change the beneficiary. If the
intended beneficiary ends up with a scholarship or chooses not to go to college, the account can go to someone else. The funds can also be used for anything that is related to going to college such as a car to get to and from classes or a place near campus to live.
But for saving - the earlier the better. “If you put a $1,000 every year since they’re born, by the time they go off to college, you’re looking at $18, 000,” Morrow said. For Missy, there is always room to save no matter how small someone’s income may seem. “The hardest part is taking the first step to savings,” Morrow said. According to Missy, people live off of what they make and a good way to save is to have a percentage of a check be automatically deposited into a savings account. “PYF, pay yourself first. Basic rule of savings,” Missy said. “Ten percent is kind of the goal.” “There is a difference between a want and a need,” Missy says. “A lot of young people think the phone is a necessity and the biggest and the newest and the best and the fastest and the most recent— it’s not a necessity.”
It is much easier to get into debt and not have a savings than it is to get out of debt and build up a savings. “There are a lot of things that can go away,” Missy says. “They don’t realize how they can start chopping here and there.” Three months salary is the goal, but it is not always realistic. People would be surprised to find out those with lower incomes can have greater savings than people with a higher income. According to Missy, if a person is having trouble starting savings or getting started with their child’s savings, they can see a financial planner. Most financial planners will talk to someone free of charge and provide options that can help people earn more on their savings.
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