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Home & Ranch Rennovations, Brokerage and Development 979-574-9228

Melinda K. Scott

Minutes from Texas A&M’s west campus, Distinctly unique homesites from 2 - 18 acres, Hilltop views of Royalty Pecan Farms and Kyle Field, Paved frontage, Underground electric, Towering oaks, Rolling pastures

BRAZOS RESERVE

Freedom’s Slow Fade Inspiration Takes Root At The Inspired Willow A Proposal And A Place to Call Home From Us To You Spotlight - Mary Wolz Professional Directory Why I Vote Republican Faithful Citizens In Duty To God & Nation! Called To Care Election Integrity Who’s In Your Family Tree? Proud To Be An (Immigrant) American The Path Forward Modesty: God’s Way vs. Man’s Way Freedoms & Free Will Marxism, Sharia, And The Fight For..... You Are Hereby Sentenced To Life In Prison Proud To Be American Poetry by Jim Wilson Patriotism Begins At Home From the Back Porch Proud To Be An American Agricultural.... What Keeps The Stew In American’s... Staying Ahead Of The Game Our Judeo-Christian Legal Inheritance Out of the Mouths of Little Ones Circle of Kindness Lithium Battery Fire Awareness Things I Learned From My Children America Coffee & Family Freedom, Service and A Place We... Patriotic Potato Salad You Be The Judge The Difference Between Men & Women Hiding In Plain Sight Happy 250 America From A Single Stitch To A Family Business Another Day In Small Town America

THE BEST VIEWS IN BURLESON COUNTY..... COMING SOON!

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Freedom’s Slow Fade by J. Tyler Clark

Tyler Clark is co-editor of the Front Porch Magazine and an estate planning and probate attorney in Caldwell, Texas. He is also the founder of the Christian Higher Education Foundation (C.H.E.F.), which is a Texas-based 501c3 nonprofit that helps churches invest in the next generation through Christian higher education. Learn more about CHEF on the back cover.

She glared at me with disgust. “No, I didn’t like the magazine,” she said. “What is this—the 1950s? Communism is not a threat to our country.” The speaker was a local business owner whom I had encouraged to promote her shop in our fall Proud to Be an American edition. She also said she was tired of conservatives and liberals talking over one another while accomplishing little. On that second point, we probably agree. On the first, however, I believe she—and many others—may need a serious reality check. Much to my chagrin, I am a creature of the internet. My feed is filled with young influencers who have become disillusioned with capitalism and increasingly receptive to socialism. Gallup found that 54 percent of Americans viewed capitalism favorably and 39 percent viewed socialism favorably, while 81 percent still viewed free enterprise favorably. Most Americans have not rejected economic freedom, but many have lost confidence in the institutions they associate with capitalism. Consider Zohran Mamdani, the democratic socialist elected mayor of New York City in 2025. His platform called for city-owned grocery stores, fare-free buses, no-cost childcare, a rent freeze, and a $30 minimum wage. These proposals are not communism, and labeling every public program communist weakens a legitimate warning. His rise does show, however, that greater government control of economic life has growing political appeal. American pride is also fading. In Gallup’s June 2026 survey, only 54 percent of adults said they were extremely or very proud to be Ameri-

can—the lowest combined figure in Gallup’s 25-year trend. My new friend Aurora knows what can happen when power becomes concentrated in the state. She grew up in Arad, Romania, under communist rule. After escaping Romania, she stayed in a refugee camp in Austria. There she married a Romanian man who had escaped in 1981 and was already an American citizen. Aurora received her visa within two months and arrived in California in June 1988 to begin their life in the United States. “When people hear my accent and ask where I’m from, I tell them, ‘My name is Aurora. I am from Romania. I love America, and I am so proud to be an American. We have to keep America America!’” Aurora has shared harrowing stories of friends betraying one another to please the party, layers of bureaucracy designed to stymie churches without state approval, and the decline of ingenuity, creativity, and imagination under the system. During a conversation with Eva Mueller, founder and managing editor of The Valley Voice of the Brazos Valley, she expressed her views about why policies often associated with social democracy and democratic socialism appeal to many Americans: ”I agree with the principles at the core of the message. For me it is a pretty simple belief: everyone deserves basic dignity and access to the things necessary to survive—healthcare, education, food, housing and utilities—and I think government has a responsibility to help ensure those things remain accessible and affordable regardless of someone’s economic status. Markets can be very effective at producing and distributing many things, but I don’t necessarily believe a market-based system is the best mechanism for ensuring access to necessities people literally cannot live without, particularly when profitability can conflict with universal accessibility. `The fact that we can debate these questions openly and elect leaders who represent our beliefs is a tremendous privilege. Freedom is rarely lost all at once. The fade can be slow, almost imperceptible, until the dominoes begin falling faster. If we are not careful, we may one day wake up, as Aurora did, longing for freedoms we once took for granted.

Inspiration Takes Root at the

Inspired Willow The Inspired Willow did not begin with a lifelong dream of owning a store. It began with a teacher who knew she wasn’t ready to return to the classroom—and a conversation with her mother over Chinese food. Krystina Giles-Ellis’s mother, Nancy Giles, was no stranger to small business, having operated several businesses of her own over the years. Together, the mother-daughter team began dreaming of a store that would combine antiques and vintage finds with gifts, faithbased items and eventually a special place for children. After years of praying, planning and watching more than one door close, The Inspired Willow opened in May 2023. The name reflects the purpose behind it. Willow trees, they found, symbolize qualities like peace and restoration, while “Inspired” describes their hope that customers leave encouraged—to beautify their homes, strengthen their faith, give thoughtfully or simply brighten someone else’s day. Today, a larger downtown location is allowing more of that original vision to take root. Fittingly for an antique store, the building carries plenty of Caldwell history of its own. Krystina and Nancy have preserved old merchandise, advertisements, wrapping paper and even a 1992 wedding registry from businesses that once occupied the space. An old rotating jewelry case Krystina remembers playing with as a child is once again filled with jewelry. Asked which item in the entire store she considers the most valuable, however, Krystina didn’t choose an antique. “I would say the Bible,” she answered. “There’s nothing more valuable than knowing Him and having a relationship with Him.” The Inspired Willow has become a family affair, with parents, husband, daughter and now a growing family of vendors contributing along the way. Krystina’s young daughter, Kambri, even writes thank-you notes for customers because, in her words, “It makes people happy.” Perhaps that’s The Inspired Willow’s mission in its simplest form: preserving old treasures, creating new memories and planting little seeds of kindness and faith along the way.

I can’t tell the difference between a rose and a dandelion. So when it came time to fix up my garden, I had no clue which plants to keep and which one to remove. That is until my mother gave me this handy tip: “Pull them all up, if it comes back, it’s a weed.”

A Proposal Home and a Place to Call

For Dee and Dr. Carrie Ellis, home began before there were walls. It began with a piece of Burleson County countryside, a pond, a table set with roses and a question that would shape everything that followed. Dee purchased the land in 2018, originally looking for just 10 or 20 acres. He found it along CR 274, part of a former ranch being divided into country tracts, and kept buying until his little piece of the country had grown to roughly 104 acres. Country living was familiar territory for Dee. After growing up in different parts of Texas, he settled in Rockdale, where he lived for about 30 years and raised his three children. He served on the school board, was president of the Lions Club and became deeply involved in the community. Years later, the property would become the setting for a new chapter. Dee and Carrie met through their work in animal health and infectious disease. Their relationship grew from colleagues to something more, and one day Dee brought Carrie out to the still-undeveloped property. Friends had helped him arrange a table, chairs and roses overlooking the pond. “I distinctly remember yelling, ‘What’s all that junk over there?’” Carrie recalled. Dee suggested they go investigate. There, on what was then nothing more than an open field—and near what would eventually become their back porch—Dee proposed. After marrying in 2023, they began turning that field into the home they had imagined. Construction started in 2024 with longtime Rockdale friends Charles and Gabe Bland of Bland Construction. Dee focused on the big picture: where the house should sit, how it should face, where roads and ponds belonged and which areas should remain wooded. Carrie took command inside, choosing everything from flooring and cabinets to countertops, fixtures and finishes.

They moved in just before Christmas 2024. Both brought impressive professional backgrounds to their new country life. Carrie earned her master’s and Ph.D. at Texas A&M and works in largeanimal infectious-disease and vaccine research through Texas A&M AgriLife. Dee is a veterinarian and longtime animal-health professional who attended Texas A&M’s veterinary school, previously served as Texas State Veterinarian and today remains involved in animal-health research, education and outreach through A&M. But for two people whose careers and travels have taken them far beyond Burleson County, some of their greatest enjoyment now comes from what is right outside the door. The property has three ponds and is home to cattle, two horses from the Noack family, two cats and Apple Jack, their dog adopted through H.A.R.T. animal rescue. Even more important has been the community surrounding them. Carrie remembers living for nearly a decade in a College Station neighborhood and barely knowing her neighbors. Country living has proved almost the opposite. Along CR 274, neighbors stop to visit from their mules, swap recommendations through a neighborhood Facebook group and gather for Christmas parties and other get-togethers. “The people out here are great,” Dee said. It turns out that a little more distance between houses can sometimes bring people closer together. And from the Ellises’ front porch, surrounded by animals, neighbors and the land where they became engaged, it is easy to see that they did more than build a house in the country. They built a home.

rom us to you

Editors Note

Dear Friends and Neighbors, As America marks 250 years, this issue asks not only what makes us proud to be Americans, but what that inheritance requires of us. Across these pages, patriotism takes many forms. It looks like neighbors joining together to put someone back on the road and help him reach a new job. It looks like a mother and daughter building a downtown business rooted in faith, family, beauty, and encouragement. It lives in the memories of Americans whose lives have been stitched into the fabric of their communities. Patriotism also requires courage—the courage to remember history, recognize threats to freedom, protect vulnerable children, and defend the Constitution as the supreme law of our land. Our contributors consider the Judeo-Christian principles that helped shape American law, the responsibilities of faithful citizenship, the danger of surrendering liberty to destructive ideologies, and the duty to remain vigilant against evil hiding in plain sight. We are also reminded that responsible stewardship of our families, finances, and future is part of preserving what we have been given. In stories still to come, we will hear from our local library and from a veteran whose service gives special weight to the word, freedom. Together, these voices offer no shallow or sentimental picture of America. They acknowledge that our country has faced division, hardship, injustice, and failure. Yet they also affirm that the American experiment remains worth defending. True patriotism is not blind praise. It is gratitude joined with responsibility. It is loving our households, our neighbors, our towns, and our country enough to strengthen them. It is teaching the next generation where our freedoms came from—and what it may cost to preserve them. Thank you to every writer, advertiser, reader, veteran, first responder, pastor, teacher, business owner, and neighbor who helps make this magazine and this community possible. We hope this edition leaves you not only proud to be an American, but determined to keep America faithful, free, and worthy of that pride. From us to you, Your co-editors Sincerely, Sandi & Tyler

potlight Unique Heritage

Burleson County’s

People in all walks of life influence those around them. In this column, we will be featuring those who have made an impact in our small towns.

MARY WOLZ

The Fabric of American Life

If a quilt is made by stitching together pieces of fabric, perhaps an American life is made much the same way—family, heritage, service, community and memories, all joined together over the years. Few people illustrate that better than longtime Caldwell resident Mary Wolz. Mary has been a member of the Creative Memories Quilt Guild of Burleson County since its first year. As the guild approaches its 40th anniversary, Mary is the only member remaining from that inaugural year. Her love of sewing, however, began long before she came to Burleson County. The women in Mary’s family sewed for generations. Her great-grandmother even won blue ribbons at the State Fair of Texas, and by age 15, Mary was winning blue ribbons there herself. It was America’s Bicentennial in 1976 that helped turn sewing into a lifelong love of quilting. Mary’s mother and 11 other women in her neighborhood decided to make quilts to commemorate America’s 200th birthday. Mary helped her mother, and quilting soon became an important part of her own life. Patriotism was also woven deeply into Mary’s upbringing. Her father served in the U.S. Army, and Mary remembers being taught from childhood to appreciate America and support her country. That appreciation took on an entirely new dimension through her late husband, Wayne, an engineer who worked for NASA during one of the most remarkable periods in American history. His work included developing alternate flight plans that could be used if problems arose during missions. Mary and Wayne even traveled to Florida to witness the launch of Apollo 15.

“Thrilling beyond measure,” Mary recalls. “The sound of the spaceship taking off, it just rumbled through the air.” Eventually, Wayne retired and the couple made Caldwell their home, where Mary has now lived for 40 years. Quilting remained a family affair. For 25 years, Mary and Wayne operated a business based on her original quilt designs, traveling to quilt shows across the United States selling patterns, fabric and antique buttons. One of Mary’s favorite destinations was Colonial Williamsburg, where they would arrive early simply to spend a few days walking through American history. Today, Mary continues using quilts to tell stories and care for others. She makes quilts for veterans and helps preserve the memory of deceased Quilt Guild members through a special memorial quilt. Each member who passes is represented by a six-inch “fan block,” made by a friend or family member and eventually sewn by Mary into the larger quilt. Mary and Wayne raised two children, Ben and Jenness, and today Mary has four grandsons and eight great-grandchildren. Each has received something particularly special from Grandma: a quilt made especially for them. Her newest greatgrandson arrived just this year. Since his parents chose not to learn whether they were having a boy or girl beforehand, Mary needed a quilt idea that would work either way. Her suggestion was fitting: a quilt celebrating America’s 250th anniversary. Fifty years after the Bicentennial helped inspire Mary’s own quilting journey, she is commemorating another American milestone through a quilt for a new generation. And so the thread continues.

professional directory Air Conditioning-Installation & Repair Reliant Mechanical 53 Antiques The Heirloom Haus 64 The Inspired Willow 7 Attorneys Burns & Reyes-Burns 47 Law Office of Randall Richardson 67 Law Office of J. Tyler Clark 5 Auto-Truck-Tires -Repair-Supplies Burleson County Motor Supply 49 Mitchell’s Tiire Service 40 Wilde Auto Plus 59 Bank Citizens State Bank 62 BBQ Matus 6 Beauty Salon Cindy’s Hair Salon 53 Churches Church of Christ 45 St. Mary Catholic Church 44 City/Civic/Government Burleson County Republican Party 2 City of Somerville 30 Coffee The Crazy Chicken Lady 50 Honey & Sage 15 Construction C & H Building Construction 31 Convenience Store T-Rex 54 Copy Center ImageMaker 5 Country Club Copperas Hollow 27 Dentistry Drgac Dental 29 Dozer Services Loehr Dozer 32 Event Venue The Novo 41 Feed Faust Farms 12 Homeyer Feed & Supply 37 Financials LPL Financial 15 Funeral Home Phillips & Luckey 17

Gifts Bloom & Bramble Etched & Stitched Dennis’ Workroom Health Care & Wellness Hope Pregnancy Humble Life Somerville Family Practice Internet Airplexus Livestock Commission Caldwell Livestock Com. Lumber Company Woodson’s Lumber Company Non-Profit C.H.E.F. Harrie’s Friends Pest Control Armstrong Pesticide Solutions Photography God’s Canvas Photos Honey Sage Plumbing DP Plumbing Real Estate Home & Ranch Real Estate Polansky Realty Service Organizations Burleson Co. Historical Com. Restaurant Kountry Kitchen Tax Preparation & Advisors Danny Koerth Title Company Bott’s Title Company Truck-Auto-Tires-Supplies Mitchell’s Tire Service Upholstery Dennis’ Workroom Vacation Rentals Windy Hill Farmhouse Veterinarian BVMVS Vitamins/Supplements Roots & Shoots Welding & Fabricating C&H Welding & Fabrication

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The contents of all articles do not represent the views of The Front Porch Magazine. The magazine claims no responsibility for the \ accuracy of information or content.

SANDI BALCAR & J. TYLER CLARK PUBLISHERS

SANDI BALCAR

LAYOUT & DESIGN EDITOR

J. TYLER CLARK

ADVERTISING SALES EDITOR

SANDY LOU MILLER ADVERTISING

SHAYLA LANGLEY PHOTOGRAPHER CONTRIBUTING WRITER

HILDA HELLUMS BAKER JEFF BEARD JENNIFER CLARK J. TYLER CLARK MELVIN DORNAK KAREN FRITSCHE JIM HARRELL TAMMY KUBECKA SHAYLA LANGLEY DR. JACK MCKEMIE DVM LEE OTIS MILLER SANDY LOU MILLER A.D. MULLER KAVON NOVAK RENITA ODSTRCIL BRAD OLIVER WILLIAM RIOS JASON SHUTT TINA SMITH ED WETTERMAN JIM WILSON BRUCE GOLDEN - CONTRIBUTOR CHRIS VAUGHN - CONTRIBUTOR LORAN GRASSL - CONTRIBUTOR Phone 979.567.7871 512.587.0452 301 Hwy 21 E Caldwell, TX 77836

Why I Vote Republican By Brad Oliver, AIC, EGA, SM

Everyone is talking about politics. The Democrats said this, or Republicans did that and mentioning either party evokes negative emotions. Yes, the sky is falling. Fight, fight, fight seems to be the only course of action. We have become like teenagers who just like to fight not even understanding the facts. We just pass it off saying “that is just what we do”. Heaven forbid! No, this is not what America is all about. This Republic, divided, cannot and will not stand for much longer. Recently, I had the privilege of speaking to a group of Young Republicans at a local High School. I ask the group (what should have been a simple question with no wrong answers to worry about), “what does it mean for you to be a Republican”? There was no response. The second question (which I thought was simpler), “who was the first Republican President?’ I thought for sure this would break the ice. It didn’t. That cut me to the quick! Sadly, I realized that no one even knew who Abraham Lincoln was, much less, the first Republican President who freed black Americans living in slavery. It is a sad state of affairs when over 750,000 Americans die and no one remembers. Does anyone realize that the Civil War human cost in blood exceeded both WWI and WWII combined? This is truly a failure of our educational systems which have become nothing more than indoctrination centers paid for by our tax dollars. The blame is shared by complacent parents who remain on the sidelines allowing this to get so out of hand (me included). So, fathers, mothers, aunts, uncles, grandparents, clergy, police, and anyone else who can lift up a voice, volunteer, or write a check must get involved. Our children’s ignorance will lead us to our final demise. An honest and moral electorate is desperately needed today which is second only to the most important piece of the puzzle, the united family. We must start with real truth (not propaganda). We must teach our children what is right and what is wrong, but especially applying huge amounts of common sense to all the rhetoric that is promoting fear and distrust throughout our country with communist driven social media turning our neighbors and even our own children against us. A house divided cannot stand. How can we mend a nation this fragmented? American history and public sentiment are being changed as we read this article today. Revisionists are doing away with the facts so that we lose our national identity. Enumerable personal accounts, records, and books are being bought, destroyed, and digitally altered online, but why? If we don’t wake up now, we will find that our past has been rewritten making us nothing more than a conquering invading barbarian horde who stole this country from the Indians. This is the plan of the New World Order made up of the world’s most rich and powerful who want to be our new past, present, and future. If you want to know why I choose to vote Republican, it is because I believe all men must be allowed to speak freely without fear, and to seek out a good life, with liberty, and to be able to pursue

happiness which is promised to us in our constitution and not just reserved for only one small group or individual. We must stop the infighting as Americans (Republican, Democrats, and Independents) and realize that our very existence is being threatened by forces both physical and spiritual in the ideologies of Communism, Socialism, and Sharia Law. Remember “none of us is as strong as all of us”, and it will take a united America to overcome the enemies within our country. We must find a pathway to help the Democratic Party to pull away from the Democratic Socialist of America (DSA) which has inserted itself like a poison to tear down and destroy our Constitution and our way of life. Voting Republican is the only way to accomplish this at this time. Let us come together again for America. Pray for America daily. Look for common ground. Agree to disagree understanding violence is only as a last resort. Ignorance is our destruction. Read “paper” books. God wrote the best one to start with, and never forget a family (country) that prays together, stays together. Sincerely Brad Oliver American

Brad Oliver is local to Caldwell for 36 years. He has written technical and training materials for over 40 years and has trained both Insurance professionals and FEMA personnel over the past decade. Currently, he is working with FEMA as a subject matter expert.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. “In English,” he said, “A double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn’t a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative.”

A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client and said to him, “Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news.”

A voice from the back of the room said, “Yeah, right.”

The attorney said, “Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million. I think she could be right.”

************ Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was organizing his golfing equipment. His wife was standing nearby watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks: “Tim, I’ve been thinking, now that we’re married maybe it’s time you quit golfing. You spend so much time on the course. You could probably get a good price for your clubs.”

The art collector replied, “I’ve had an awful day; let’s hear the good news first.”

Saul replied enthusiastically, “Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You’ve just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?” The attorney replied, “The pictures are of you with your secretary.”

If you would like to write for the Front Porch Magazine, please contact us at 979-567-7871.

Tim gets this horrified look on his face. She says, “Darling, what’s wrong?” “For a minute there you were beginning to sound like my ex-wife.” “Ex-wife!” she screams, “I didn’t know you were married before!” “I wasn’t,” he replied. ************ A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled, “I hope you die a long, slow, painful death.” He turned around and said, “So, you want me to stay?”

FAITHFUL CITIZENS IN DUTY TO GOD AND NATION! St. Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 5: 20 of the faithful as “ambassadors for Christ, as if God were appealing through us….be reconciled to God.” A statue of Paul (see photo) from the Archbasilica of St. John Lateran in Rome reveals a stout appearance holding a sword, a sign of his martyrdom. The well-known teaching of Jesus Christ in the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 5: 1-12, is a welcome sign of one’s work of faith by living it to the end of days to God’s glory, the kingdom. The blessings, the Beatitudes are bestowed upon the people who not only worked hard for a living, but recognizing the many sacrifices made to assist in the welfare of individuals, including groups and organizations evangelizing the faith of the nation. St. John Paul II said on February 8, 2003: There is no peace without justice, and no justice without forgiveness. [Catholic Book of Quotations. Pg. 207]. When I celebrate Mass under the title of Our Nation, the text reads: O God, who arrange all things according to a wonderful design, Graciously receive the prayers we pour out to you for our country, That, through the wisdom of its leaders and the integrity of its citizens, Harmony and justice may be assured and lasting prosperity come with peace—Amen. [Roman Missal. Pg. 1286]. In closing, I share the good news of our new call to citizenship the Scriptures relate in St. Paul’s Letter to Philippi 3: 20—Our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we also await a savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Take care and be safe, faithful citizens!

Rev. Melvin L. Dornak, Pastor St. Mary, Our Lady of Lourdes Catholic Church/Holy Rosary, Frenstat

Spiritual greetings to readers of Front Porch! From the theme of this edition, I offer a spiritual message in this column based on our faithful recognition, grateful to God for our nation, in the pursuit of liberty and justice for equality among the people who live here, and in freedom to express our faith to love God and our neighbor. Altogether, we adhere to what is written on currency: “in God we trust.” As responsible citizens of the land, we take special care to exhibit acts of charity and the work of the church to support the needs of those lest they remain neglected. Coming soon, we honor our national Thanksgiving Day by the proclamation of President Abraham Lincoln on October 21, 1864, from an excerpt in his words: [America’s God & Country. Pg. 388.] To my fellow-citizens….reverently humble themselves…and from thence offer up penitent and fervent prayers and supplications to [God] for a return of the inestimable blessings of peace, union, and harmony throughout the land which it pleased [God] to assign as a dwelling-place for ourselves.God’s word is a connecting piece to our dignity and sole right to serve in His name for the greater works of progress in this electronic age.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers 63 and Pregnant

A woman went to the emergency room, where she was seen by a young new doctor. After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant. She burst out of the room and ran down the corridor screaming. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was; after listening to her story, he calmed her down and sat her in another room. Then the doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor’s room. “Whats wrong with you?” he demanded. This woman is 63 years old, she has two grown children and several grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?!!” The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said: “Does she still have the hiccups?

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************ Little Johnny’s teacher asks the class to talk about what their fathers do for a living. Little Suzy raises her hand and says, “My dad is a doctor! He saves people’s lives.” Little Billy raises his hand and says, “My dad is a firefighter! He rescues people from burning buildings.” The teacher turns to Johnny and asks, “Johnny, what does your dad do?” Johnny replies, “My dad is dead. He was a stripper at a club for men.” The teacher is absolutely mortified, quickly changes the subject, and goes back to her desk. At recess, she walks up to Johnny and says, “Johnny, I am so sorry about your father, but is that really true?” Johnny whispers, “No, he actually plays for the New York Jets, but I was too embarrassed to say it out loud. ************

Called to

Care

For Rochelle Adams, MSN, APRN, FNP-C, opening her own family practice in Somerville is the latest step in a journey that began years ago in a nursing home kitchen. A Brenham native and Brenham High School graduate, Adams discovered an interest in healthcare while participating in HOSA and a school co-op program. While working at a nursing home, she encountered a nurse practitioner whose role caught her attention. “I was like, ‘She looks like our doctor,’” Adams recalled. Learning that the woman was actually a nurse practitioner planted a seed: that was what Adams wanted to become. She worked her way there one step at a time—kitchen employee, certified nurse aide, certified medication aide, LVN, RN, BSN and, ultimately, family nurse practitioner. After earning her master’s degree, Adams spent 10 years with Baylor Scott & White, building a large patient panel and gaining experience in family medicine. She later branched into traveling healthcare and wound care before deciding she was ready to build something of her own. When a healthcare provider closed in Somerville, Adams saw both an opportunity and a need. Rural healthcare, she said, presents unique challenges. Transportation, finances and limited resources can cause chronic conditions to go unchecked. Adams hopes her practice can help close those gaps through education, accessibility and relationships. “I like to teach,” she said. “I don’t want them to just be a number.” That personal approach extends beyond charts and diagnoses. Adams wants to know her patients—their families, their stories and even their pets. Her Christian faith is also central to the way she practices medicine. When patients share her faith and face difficult news, Adams said prayer can become part of the conversation alongside appropriate medical care. “We’re going to laugh. We’re going to cry,” Adams said. “We’re going to take care of those chronic health conditions together.” And she intends to stick around. Her goal is to serve the

Somerville community for the next 20 years to come together to create something truly special.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers The Moral of the Story

The teacher gave his fifth graders a task: Get the parents to tell a story with a moral in the end. The next day the children returned to school where one by one told their stories. “Jonny, do you have a story to share with us?” “Yes, Miss. Dad told a story about Aunt Marie. Aunt Marie was a pilot in the Iraq war and her plane was shot down. She had to shoot her way out over enemy territory and all she had was a small bottle of whiskey, a gun and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey bottle on the way down so it wouldn’t fall into enemy hands. She landed with her parachute right in the middle among twenty enemy soldiers. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of ammunition, then killed four more with the knife until the knife blade snapped and then killed the last one with only her empty hands.” “Good God”, said the terrified teacher. “What kind of morality did your father teach you out of that story?” “Stay away from Aunt Marie when she’s been drinking.

THIS MORNING MY KID SAID HIS EAR HURT AND I SAID ON THE INSIDE OR OUTSIDE, SO HE WALKED OUT THE FRONT DOOR, CAME BACK IN & SAID BOTH. MOMENTS LIKE THIS GOT ME WONDERING IF I’M SAVING TOO MUCH FOR COLLEGE.

Two ladies were walking their dogs, and decided to go into a restaurant. There was a sign that said “No Pets Allowed” Mary turned to Nancy and said, “Just do what I do.” Mary walked up and the host said “No pets.” Mary said “I’m blind. It’s a seeing-eye dog.” The host let her in. Nancy walked up, and the same thing happened. The host said “Your seeing-eye dog is a Chihuahua?” Nancy said “Chihuahua? They gave me a Chihuahua?” ************

A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?” “That’s disgusting. Don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?” “Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

I BET ALIENS RIDE PAST EARTH AND LOCK THEIR DOORS.

Election Integrity by Jim Harrell

Hey Burleson County! It is time to prepare for our next election. For the November 3rd midterm election, the last day to register to vote is October the 5th. Early voting begins October 19th and goes thru October 30th. The mail-in ballot application deadline is October 23rd. The post office will begin mailing ballots 45 days prior to the November 3rd voting day. Voting by mail in Texas is limited to legally registered voters who are: 65 years of age or older, sick or disabled of any legal voters age, expecting mothers whose due date is within three weeks before or after Election Day, absent from the county for registration during early voting period and on Election Day, civilly committed under chapter 841 of the Texas Health SafetyCode or confined in jail, but otherwise eligible to vote. Beginning October 19th - October 12rd - 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. October 24th - 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. October 25th - 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. October 26th - 30th - 7 a.m. to 7 p.m.

As Election Judge for Precinct 309 , Chriesman, Texas, for this year and next year, I am proud to say that our elections are fair and secure. Burleson County Elections operate within the rules as set forth from the Secretary of State of Texas office. For more updates: https://www. burlesoncountytx.gov/page/gov.election.postings I have volunteered as an election clerk for the past four years. As Election Judge, I am responsible for the polling place in the Chriesman Community Center. I help set the equipment before voting begins, post required signs and administer the site until closed. We then take down the equipment after verifying the total numbers of votes placed. Document any anomalies. During voting hours , we rotate trained personnel on the different stations at the polling place. All training is through the Secretary of State’s office. I am very confident in the integrity of our election personnel as well as the equipment used in processing votes. The redundant checks and verification procedures used by poll workers throughout the voting days ensure accuracy and accountability. The many rules and regulations that govern our election system are available at http//www.sos.tx.us This mid-term election we will elect our Governor, Lt. Governor, Comptroller, General Land Office Commissioner, Agriculture Commissioner, Railroad Commissioner, Texas Supreme Court Justices, Texas Court of Criminal appeals, and Federal Senate and House Representatives. Questions: VoteTexas.gov find your registration status, polling location, who are your representatives and preview ballot. See you at the Polls!!!

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers An old lady had always wanted to travel abroad. Now that she was getting on in years, she thought she would really like to do so before she died. Until now, she’d never even been out of the country. So she began by going in person to the Passport Office and asking how long it would take to have one issued. “You must take the loyalty oath first,” responded the passport clerk. “Raise your right hand, please. “The old gal raised her right hand. “Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?” was the first question.

A husband is advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. “You don’t have to let your wife henpeck you! Go home and show her you are the boss!” Of course, the husband takes the doctor’s advice. He rushes home, slams the door, shakes his fist in his wife’s face, and growls, “From now on, you’re taking orders from me! I want my supper right now and when you get it on the table, go upstairs and lay out my best clothes. Tonight, I’m going out with the boys and you are going to stay at home where you belong! And another thing... guess who’s going to comb my hair, give me a shave, and tie my necktie?”

The little old lady’s face paled and her voice trembled as she asked in a small voice, “Uhhh . . . all by myself?”

Do y’all remember, before theinternet, that people thought the cause of stupidity was the lackof access to information? Yeah, it wasn’t that.

WHO’S IN YOUR FAMILY TREE? by Tammy Kubecka Although the United States of America’s 250th birthday year is winding down, it’s still not too late to reflect on the vision, determination and honor that our nation’s forefather’s possessed. Were your ancestors involved in the American Revolution? Or did they come later to partake in political and religious freedom and help form new settlements? Like most of our ancestors, it took plain hard working people to build our state and our county. Maybe it’s time to explore your family tree, and with so much information on the internet, it’s much easier than it used to be. The first word of caution is to NOT believe everything on the internet! Genealogy websites such as Ancestry and Family Search have endless information and endless mistakes. It’s only as good as the individuals that supplied or transcribed the original information. While other family trees are an invaluable source of long lost relatives, don’t take their word for it! Sometimes a single misspelled name will lead you the wrong direction, and spelling was not a strong suit of census takers. The easiest way to start is with yourself and work backwards. It’s amazing how many people don’t know anything past their grandparents. Interview older relatives for information, and then start the fun of verifying everything! Genealogy sites let you build family trees online, and keep them private while you dive into your roots. Handwritten information sheets never hurt anything! Hints will pop up, and usually a good place to start is census records. They are all online in various places, except 1890 which was lost in a fire. Visits to cemeteries are another way to gather names and dates. Most cemeteries are online at FindaGrave. If you add potential ancestors to your tree, check all the hints you can find. Besides the census, there are birth, death and marriage records. Military records are much more plentiful online and some are free. FamilySearch.

org is a free site. Ancestry is by subscription. Even the various pay sites offer free trials. National and State archives and the Texas General Land Office are other good sources, as well as our county courthouses. Before you say your relatives are boring and never did anything, start looking around first. The Burleson County Historical Commission crossed paths a couple years ago with a pair of cousins, looking for family information. They had a great starting place with a great-great-great grandfather who was the first mayor of Bastrop, before and after Texas Independence. He fought and was wounded at the Battle of San Jacinto. Another family line soon turned up four distant cousins who were also at San Jacinto! We eventually found a couple Founders of Jamestown, VA, plus an ancestor who served on the Virginia Committee in England to plan the new Colonies. There’s a great-great-grandfather who served in the Civil War, and was in every major battle in Virginia including Appomattox. There’s a governor of Bermuda, a starlet who ran off with Errol Flynn…a WWII hero, a distant cousin who was a Grand Ol’ Opry star, a Royal Tudor family scholar, an international pop and rock star, an ancestor who married Thomas Jefferson’s niece, a connection to John Dillinger, a connection to the O’Brien clan and decades of Irish Kings….and a British chicken thief. AND…three great-great-grandparents buried right here in Burleson County, along with assorted cousins. Wow! What if they’d never looked at their ancestors? Not everything you find will be good. You will find some surprises! Not everything you find will be bad either! Family research is highly addictive and you’ll be surprised at how quickly you become obsessed and protective of your ancestors. It will definitely be interesting, so hang on for a real ride through history and find out who’s in YOUR family tree!

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Mr. Johnson was overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. He said, “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least five pounds.” When Mr. Johnson returned, he shocked the doctor by having dropped almost twenty pounds. “Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor told him.” You did this just by following my instructions?” The slimmed down Mr. Johnson nodded. “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.” “From hunger, you mean.” “No,” replied Mr. Johnson, “from skipping.” ************ A little boy opened the big Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. “Mama, look what I found!” the boy called out. “What have you got there, dear?” With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered, “I think it’s Adam’s underwear!”

A WISE MAN ONCE TOLD HIS WIFE NOTHING BECAUSE HE WAS A WISE MAN

Proud to be an

(Immigrant) American By Jason Shutt

About thirty years ago I was a young man enlisted in the U.S. Navy. One benefit of taking the oath to defend our Constitution was that it got me out of the familiar paths of American life. My rating as a cryptologic technician had me stationed in some interesting and far-flung places, one of which was RAF Edzell, Scotland. Edzell is a village on Scotland’s eastern side, close to the North Sea, about forty miles south of the city of Aberdeen. The base that the U.S. Navy operated on had been an airfield during World War II. Britain is such a walk-able, pedestrianfriendly country that though I owned a car, I still explored a good deal of the surrounding area on foot. Or I would drive to a city, park the car, and spend the day ambling around. I hung out in pubs, visited castles and ancient churches, visited the historic homes of famous people, looked for Nessie, and snowboarded in the Highlands. One time I ate haggis. Another time I actually ate black pudding (the congealed blood of a cow or pig, with a nice sauce). All that to say I did the things tourists do. But I was there two years, which gave me time to do more than that: I got to observe the change of seasons; visit very obscure, out-ofthe-way places; pick the same footpath through the neighboring dairy umpteen times to my favorite hangout; and make a lot of friends and acquaintances among local people. Most of these relationships were formed in the context of a local Scottish church, which allowed me to enter into the lives of families and observe the habits, decisions, and anxieties of people in their native setting over a considerable period of time. Two major impressions stick in my mind from this brief sojourn. One was this: the feeling of having taken a step back in time. But not just back in time, but having retraced the steps of my own ancestors. My ancestry is very German—on my dad’s side. On my mother’s side they came from the British Isles. There were many times I would walk by, or into, a country house nestled in those green hills, shaded by ancient oaks, and be immediately reminded of my aunt and uncle’s country

home in Waller County, Texas. Some strange familiarity, like an old scent that clings to you from a place you haven’t seen in decades. Even the landscape, in the Scottish lowlands, reminded me of the countryside where my mother grew up around Hempstead, Texas (Hempstead is a British place-name). I began to wonder if immigrants from Britain naturally gravitated to this area, carrying names from the Old World with them, because it reminded them of familiar places. The other impression: similarities between Americans and the British. I think accents often fool us into thinking we encounter someone more exotic or alien than they really are. What I actually observed were people that (more or less) loved sports, watched too much TV, ate fried food, swore a lot, and liked to drink and dance (I’m not necessarily talking about my church friends). And they complained about the government like they were getting paid for it. If you travel to Britain expecting to meet people like you see in popular British period dramas, you can do it, but you’ll need a strategy. After my tour in Scotland, my enlistment ended; I flew back across the Atlantic to Newport, Rhode Island for my official discharge. While I was there I did what I had done in Scotland: walked around town looking at stuff and talking to people. One place I visited was an old cemetery, with graves dating back to the 1600s. On a couple of the headstones I noticed the names of colonists that had been born in Scotland. When I noticed that, I had to turn and look back across the Atlantic. What do you know—before, I was retracing their steps, now I’m returning in the same direction! Of course, a journey that killed many people 300 years ago I undertook in a comfortable twelve hours. But my whole two-year journey, across “the pond” and back, helped me think in new ways about what it means to be an American. I knew we are a land of immigrants, but living in a country of my ancestors and then returning made me see my immigrant status in a whole new way. Bio Jason Shutt is Administrative Manager at Hope Pregnancy Center. He lives in College Station with his wife and five children.

About Hope Hope Pregnancy Center of the Brazos Valley is a faith-based, non-profit 501(c) (3) organization providing a safe and confidential place for those experiencing unplanned pregnancy. Services (all of which are free) include pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, options consultation, parenting classes, and material aid based on an “earn while you learn” system. More information may be found at www. hopepregnancy.org.

One Nation Under God Hilda Hellums Baker

the south to secede and become its own country. All though it took a bloody civil war we had God’s help and the moral conviction to do the right thing and in so doing freed an entire people and came together again, preserving our precious Union. Our country has faced countless trials that tested our moral foundation, and resolve. The Great Depression, WWI, WWII, McCarthyism, the Civil Rights movement, Viet Nam war, and on and on. All put a spotlight on our priorities and not always in a very positive way. At each of these turning points there were yays and nays, dissenters, and supporters but the beautiful thing about America is we were free to agree or disagree, but in the end we all came back together. It is this certainty of continuity that gives our country the stability, the hope, and the promise that we can prosper here without fear of a government that will go off the tracks too far without God inspiring the people to demand a course correction! The United States of America IS the people. And most people have a strong moral compass and an inherent ability to sense the right course, and the courage to act on it. I am proud to be an American, because the melting pot of humanity that God sent to these shores is its strength. And we must guard to keep that diversity alive while guarding our unity as Americans. It is a beautiful thing to celebrate the many cultures of our people, but we must guard against allowing that to segregate and divide us. American citizens are free to celebrate their heritage, but their allegiance must be to God and America first! I am proud to be an American because America tries hard to follow God’s will and put Him first. Ours is a God given culture of freedom, success, inclusiveness, encouragement, bravery, morality, and unity. Our unity is our strength. We don’t always succeed, but we strive to love God with all our heart, soul and strength and our neighbor as ourselves. May God bless America!

In 1996 Hilda Baker moved from Houston to Caldwell determined to put her conviction, that God was still a faithful, prayer answering God into action by building a Christian retreat center in Chriesman. Hilda is the founder and president of the Cross Roads Retreat, and author of “Stand At The Cross Roads” a book which tells the true story of her struggles as God brought his plan into being through her. Hilda enjoys sharing her faith story with groups and organizations whenever she can. In 2003 Hilda married Pat Baker and together they continued growing Cross Roads. Along with Pat, Hilda was one of the founders of the former Area 3:16 church. She also serves on the board of Impact Burleson County, a ministry founded by her husband. Hilda also remains an active member of the Brazos Valley Emmaus Community, a ministry for the spiritual development of Christian leaders.

he reaction of fans from across the world who came to the USA for the World Cup was a wonderful reminder of how lucky we are to live in the USA. These visitors from abroad became obsessed with Ranch Dressing, and fell in love with our BBQ, Buc-ee’s, drive-thrus, free drink refills, and our malls – not to mention the massive selections we have in our grocery stores. We take these things for granted and assume everyone lives like we do. I have travelled a lot, and I can tell you they don’t have any of these things. But what makes me proud to be an American is that our diversity strives to be united under the authority of God. With His guidance we have been able to identify problems and work together to make our country ever better no matter the cost. We identified a problem with pledging our allegiance to a faraway king. Not all colonists agreed, but enough did, and we came together, fought together, and found freedom together. God led us to confront the wrongs of slavery, not all citizens agreed, but enough considered our precious union worth fighting for, versus allowing

Modesty:

God’s Way vs. Man’s Way My name is Shayla Langley. I’m a wife and mom of two, a stay-at-home mom, photographer, coffee business owner, and part of the Front Porch Magazine social media team. As my family and I enter our second year in this small town, I’m continually thankful for the life God has given us here. We’ve truly enjoyed making this community home and look forward to all the memories still to come.

“When I was young and naive, I never thought much about the choices I made. What I wore, where I went, what I did or who I was with. I certainly never thought much about God in my youth. Looking back now, I thank Him so much for being patient with me and my youthful ignorance. In 2016, I met my Christian husband. I attended almost every service with him. I was able to learn and gain so much knowledge when it came to God’s standards for our lives. Yes, we are to live our lives by His standards, not by our own. (Romans 12:2; Luke 22:42; James 1:22; Proverbs 14:2) In 2021 we welcomed our daughter, and because we wanted our family to be built on a solid Christian foundation, we made sure to be at worship services. When you have children, your mindset tends to change. You begin to think about what is best for them, who is best for them, and where is best for them. At just three years old, our little girl already knew God’s standard for our lives. Children have the ability to understand these things at such a young age; we just have to show them the way, just as God shows us the way. She is now five and has a silly little brother who is soon to be three. With boys and girls, there are usually standards the world sets in place for them. “Boys can be shirtless outside, but girls can’t. It’s not appropriate.” Or, “It’s okay for her hiney to hang out of her shorts because she’s a cute girl, but guys need to have shorts down to the knee.” Who set these standards in place? Why is there a double standard? When out shopping for toddler girls clothes, why are the shorts often cut to the crotch while the boys shorts are down to the knee? When we take a step back and look at the big picture, this is man’s way, not

God’s way. So, what is God’s way? How do we know? God cares about how His people present themselves. In Exodus 28:42, God didn’t tell the priests, “Wear whatever you think is appropriate.” He gave them instructions about their clothing because they were approaching Him and serving Him and uncovered thighs are considered naked. People try to write this example off because “it’s in the Old Testament,”but the Old Testament was made for our learning. We also see more examples of biblical nakedness here: Genesis 3:7, Isaiah 47:2-3, Exodus 20:26, 1 Timothy 2:9, . If uncovered thighs were naked then, why would it be different now? It’s only different because man started to go their own way and follow his own desires. Where is our heart? We are to be Holy in ALL of our conduct. (1 Peter 1:15) We can’t let the thought process of those in this world influence us.(Romans 12:2) If we don’t use scripture as our guideline then how do we know where to draw the line? At the end of the day, the question isn’t simply, “What does the world say is acceptable?” or even, “What do I personally feel is right?” The question we should all be asking is, “What does God say?” God’s Word was not given to make our lives miserable or to take away our freedom. His standards are given because He loves us and knows what is best for us. Sometimes His way may challenge us. Sometimes it may require us to change our thinking, our choices and our habits. But if we truly love God, shouldn’t we want to follow His way? None of us will live perfectly, and this isn’t about pointing fingers or believing we are better than someone else. It is about being willing to look at our own hearts and ask whether we are allowing God’s Word to shape our lives or whether we are allowing the world to shape us. The world will continue to change its standards. What is considered acceptable today may be rejected tomorrow, and what was once considered wrong may eventually be celebrated. But God’s Word does not change, and isn’t that so comforting? His truth does not become outdated because culture changes, it is constant and steady. When God’s way and man’s way don’t agree, which one will we choose? May we each have the humility to lay aside our own opinions, the courage to stand for God’s truth, and the love to follow His way even when it isn’t the easiest or most popular choice. How attractive we are to others has never been a point in Christianity. King Saul was a handsome king and yet he still disappointed God. Jesus, our savior, was not hysically special to look at. He was poor, the son of a carpenter and that’s why so many Jews dismissed him because he did not LOOK like the messiah. At the end of the day, it isn’t man’s approval that matters most. It is whether our lives are pleasing to God. Do we care more about what man thinks? Or what God thinks?

Freedoms & Free Will Some of the greatest blessings of living in America are the freedoms watch, what we dwell on, and what we fixate on, he can influence the we enjoy: freedom of speech, freedom of worship, freedom of oppor- direction of our lives. That is why Scripture warns us so clearly in 2 tunity, and freedom to choose the direction of our lives. However, long Corinthians 11:14 that Satan masquerades as light, because his goal is before America existed, God gave humanity something even more not just to tempt us but to mislead us into believing that the very things powerful: free will. The ability to choose what we allow into our minds, destroying our peace are the things we need. Living a Christ-like life isn’t a one time decision; it’s a daily renewal. what we dwell on, what we fixate on, and ultimately, what shapes who we become. America gives us national freedom, but God gives us spiri- Every morning we start over, choosing again what we will allow into tual freedom and both come with responsibility. The truth is simple: our minds and what we will reject. Satan doesn’t take days off, so neiwhat we repeatedly think, what we repeatedly watch, what we repeat- ther can our vigilance. As I’ve grown in my faith, I’ve realized that true freedom isn’t the edly seek, will eventually become and create who we are. For years, I didn’t realize how much my own mind was being shaped ability to indulge in anything I want. True freedom is the ability to by what I consumed. I used to watch crime shows for hours, such as walk in peace, purity, clarity, and purpose. It’s the freedom to say, “I Forensic Files, Cold Case Files, See No Evil, every unsolved mystery don’t want that in my mind anymore.” It’s the freedom to choose what that autoplayed one after another late at night. I wasn’t trying to fill strengthens your spirit instead of what poisons it. It’s the freedom to let my spirit with darkness; it just became a habit. One episode ended, God renew your desires so that the things that once fascinated you now another began, and before I knew it, my thoughts were marinating feel foreign, heavy, or even repulsive. Being “Proud to be an American” in stories of violence, tragedy, and human evil. Even now, when I get means celebrating the freedoms we have. Being proud to be a child of on my computer, videos pop up about one horrific crime or another, God means using those freedoms wisely. It means guarding the mind and sometimes I still feel that familiar pull. Sometimes I click. Some- He gave us, choosing what leads to life, and recognizing that the greattimes I watch. Sometimes I stop halfway through…. but something has est liberty we will ever experience is the freedom Christ gives: the freechanged. As I’ve grown in my faith, the things that once intrigued me dom to think differently, live differently, and become who He created now repulse me. The evil that used to fascinate me now feels spiritually us to be. heavy. It’s as if God has been quietly renewing my mind, showing me that freedom and free will doesn’t mean indulging in every curiosity By: Renita Odstrcil and every whim, it means choosing what leads to a spiritual life. The fixations and obsessions we have can show up in many ways: it can be the way people obsess over celebrities, athletes, influencers, or even fictional characters. It shows up in pornography that destroys marriages, distorts lust as love, and leads to spiritual darkness. It shows up in violent video games that can desensitize children, in social media that often feeds comparison, insecurity and negativity. America gives us the freedom to consume all of it, but Scripture reminds us that Proverbs 23:7 is still true: as a person thinks, so they become. Freedom without discernment becomes bondage. Free will without spiritual awareness becomes an open door for the enemy to influence our thoughts and fixation. Whether it’s crime shows, celebrities, pornography, violent games, or constant negativity, it slowly shapes the heart in ways we may not recognize until God opens our eyes. The Bible warns us repeatedly about the battle for the mind. Romans 12:2 tells us not to conform to the patterns of this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Galatians 6:7 teaches that whatever a person sows, they will also reap, and Philippians 4:8 gives us the blueprint for mental purity: think on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and praiseworthy. God doesn’t give us these instructions to restrict our freedom, He gives them for our protection. The enemy is always looking for a foothold, always seeking to devour, always trying to slip into the cracks of our thoughts, which often begins with our eyes. Matthew 6:22–23 reminds us that the eye is the lamp of the body, and whatever we continually look at eventually grows inside us. That Renita Odstrcil is a licensed Texas REALTOR®. She is a member of the truth becomes even more sobering when we remember that Satan disNational and Texas Association of Realtors and the local B/CS Associaguises himself as an angel of light. He doesn’t always come with chaos, tion of Realtors. She is currently affiliated with Cross-Town Realty which violence, or obvious evil. More often, he comes with things that look is located in Caldwell and serves the Brazos Valley area. Renita has been harmless, are entertaining, exciting, or emotionally satisfying. He dein the real estate business since 2009 and would love to help you with your ceives us in order to corrupt our minds, slowly convincing us that ma- real estate needs. She may be reached at 979-220-9106 or by email at info@ terialistic impulses, worldly obsessions, and flesh driven fixations are agentrenita.com what will make us happy, but in reality this deception leads us deeper into his darkness. The enemy knows that if he can influence what we 25

Marxism, Sharia, and the Fight for the Lone Star State. tradition, the reality of what it demands is terrifying. Under strict Sharia rule, basic human rights are erased. For instance, any individual who leaves the faith could face a death penalty for apostasy. It eliminates free speech by punishing criticism of the religion with public execution, hanging, or beheading. Even simple crimes like theft are met with brutal physical mutilation, where a person’s right hand is chopped off at the wrist. Furthermore, married individuals who commit adultery can be buried in the ground and killed by stoning. These cruel and unusual punishments show exactly why we cannot allow Sharia law to get a foothold in our country. We only have to look across the ocean to Europe to see what happens when Sharia law takes root. In France, the UK, and Sweden, enclaves have turned into “no-go zones” where governments have lost control. In these areas, radical elements attack emergency services and enforce Sharia rules on the streets. On top of that, the UK now has dozens of informal Sharia courts operating right alongside British courts, creating a dual legal system that strips away people’s rights. This is a direct warning of what will happen here if we do not actively protect our borders and laws. A.D. Muller holds a Political Science degree from Texas State University and is a rancher, refinery equipment agent, and Republican Precinct Chairman in Burleson County. A lifelong conservative activist, he has traveled through Russia and Nicaragua.

As we celebrate the USA’s 250th anniversary, we continue to be attacked by those who want to destroy our Constitution and everything America stands for. Attacks from Democratic Socialists to defund law enforcement, abolish prisons, abolish ICE, open borders, nationalize the oil industry, and push child gender mutilation serve as the first steps toward all-out Marxism. Ultimately, Marxism and Sharia law both threaten American freedom by trying to replace the Constitution with total government control and strict religious rules.

Texas leadership is drawing a line in the sand... Sharia law enforces this tyranny through a rigid legal code based on the Quran, the holy book explicitly believed by Muslims to be the literal word of Allah. While some say Sharia law is a peaceful religious

Texas leadership is drawing a line in the sand to stop this threat from happening here. Governor Greg Abbott signed House Bill 4211 to ban “Sharia compounds,” halting a massive 402-acre development near Josephine, Texas, that critics warned they were trying to create a segregated enclave. In Washington DC, Texas Congressman Chip Roy launched the Sharia-Free America Caucus and introduced the MAMDANI Act to deport foreign radicals pushing for Marxism or strict religious rules. The people of Texas are completely on board, as 95% of Republican primary voters just supported a ballot proposition to officially ban Sharia law. This overwhelming victory sends a clear message that the U.S. Constitution will remain the only law of the land in the Lone Star State. As we mark the 250th anniversary of the United States, the choice is clear: we must defend our founding principles or allow them to be destroyed by hostile ideologies. From Congress to the state lines of Texas, the fight against the twin threats of Marxism and Sharia law is a battle for the very soul of our republic. By rejecting parallel legal systems, stopping radical enclaves from infiltrating our communities, and standing firmly behind our laws, we can ensure that our nation remains unified. To protect our future, we must continue to fight back and guarantee that the U.S. Constitution remains the supreme law of the land for the next 250 years.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers This duck walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, “Do you have any grapes?” The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck returns and asks, “Do you have any grapes?” The clerk again says no, and the duck leaves. The day after that, the duck walks in the store again and asks “Do you have any grapes?” The clerk screams at the duck, “You’ve come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told you no every time that we don’t have any grapes! I swear if you come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I’ll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!” The duck left, and returned the next day. This time he asked, “Do you have any nails?” The clerk replied, “No,” and the duck said, “Good! Got any grapes?”

************

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, “What is wrong with you?” Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give him a companion and it would be a woman. He said, “This person will cook for you and wash your clothes. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear you children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you’ve had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever needed.” Adam asked God, “What will a woman like this cost?” God said, “An arm and a leg.” Adam said “What can I get for just a rib?” ....The rest is history

SOMETIMES, THE FIRST STEP TOWARDS FORGIVENESS IS REALIZING THE OTHER PERSON WAS BORN AN IDIOT.

YOU ARE HEREBY SENTENCED TO LIFE IN PRISON….by Sandy Miller Sandy Miller is a newcomer to Burleson County. She and husband Lee moved to Caldwelll in 2022. Sandy loves to write and has ventured into creating children’s books, poetry, and short stories. The Millers enjoy working their two acres and just appreciating God’s wonderful creations in nature.

Wait! What are you doing? You can’t enter my home like this. I’m an American citizen, born in Texas. What’s happening? Don’t cuff me—ow, that hurts! Living in Caldwell, I was expecting to find my friendly neighbor knocking at my door. Opening the door, however, revealed soldiers with guns pointed at me, demanding that I turn around with my hands behind my back. When I started asking questions, a larger-than-life-being grabbed my shoulders, spun me around, and yanked both hands behind my back. I was cuffed and dragged to a large military vehicle, thrown in the back, with metal doors clanging shut behind me. I was one of ten men and women, all cuffed like me. Their faces showed the same confusion, despair, disbelief, and fear racing through my own mind. Without warning or explanation, we had been torn from our homes, our families, and our lives. I recognized most of them from our small town of Caldwell. Transported to what I perceived as a high-security restraining area, we were led down a darkened hallway through two locked areas and finally divided up by twos and pushed into tiny holding cells. The soldiers left, giving no explanation of what crimes we had committed.

At first, no one spoke. My mind raced as I tried to understand what was happening—why I was cuffed like a criminal sitting on the floor of a prison cell? A man two cells down shouted, “You can’t do this to me! What did I do wrong? I’m a hardworking, American-born, God-fearing family man!” Then a woman cried, “This is inhumane. Who gave you the right to drag us from our homes?” Still, no one answered. As the hours dragged on, some dozed off, some couldn’t sit still. The silence was deadening with every individual trying to wrap his head around what occurred and what would happen next. The soldiers returned the next morning, shouting orders: “Stand! Follow Master Gund. No talking!” They led us to a small courtroom-like room, where each of us was given a number and told to sit and wait for “the Superior.” When Superior arrived, each person—now reduced to a number—was called to stand before him. “Number 1, you are sentenced to life in prison for owning a business, a criminal act under our law. Private enterprise is the government’s duty, not the citizen’s.” “ Take him away.” “Number 2, you are sentenced to life in prison for the crime of possessing more money than others. Such inequality is unfair to our citizens and therefore a crime in this country. Take her away.” “Number 3, step forward. You are guilty of refusing to surrender the deed to your property. The law states that the government owns all property so no citizen can stand above another. Equality is our goal! Take him away!” Number 4 was called. That was me—a number, Criminal Number 4. I was no longer a person, a father of two beautiful children, or a husband. I was Number 4. I had been desperately trying to understand what crime I had committed. After I had surrendered my property, my family’s net worth, and even my .270 deer rifle to the government following the American President’s removal and the Socialist takeover, what more could they want? “Number 4, you are one of the worst criminals I have encountered,” said Superior. You are aware that this country does not allow religion of any kind to be practiced or spoken. Churches no longer exist. All praying, singing, praising and any spiritual thinking is strictly prohibited. You know that religion is a tool of class oppression, and an obstacle to scientific and social progress. Number 4, you are sentenced to life imprisonment with no chance of parole.” “ Get him out of my sight!” I do not know what became of Numbers 5 through 10; I was taken at once by military vehicle to this solitary confinement cell. I vow to remember each of them by name—as a person and as an American citizen who once lived in a free society governed by the United States Constitution and protected by the Bill of Rights. I still pray. I still sing hymns. God and I speak every day, and no one can take that from me. I doubt this note will ever reach anyone beyond these walls, but writing it brings me some peace.

If you are still reading this, the above is fictional….for now. DON’T TAKE THE FREEDOMS WE HAVE IN AMERICA FOR GRANTED! IT IS OUR DUTY AS AMERICAN CITIZENS TO TAKE ACTION! MIDTERMS ARE HERE – GO OUT AND VOTE! TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 3!

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows every week and began to understand what the magician does in every trick. Once he understood that, he started shouting in the middle of the show: Look, it’s not the same hat. Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table! Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades? The magician was furious but couldn’t do anything, it was the captain’s parrot after all. One day the ship had an accident and sunk. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean, with the parrot of course. They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day, and another, and another. After a week the parrot finally said: OK. I give up. What’d you do with the boat ?

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The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it. One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice “I’d like to try the bet.” After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd’s laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man “What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weightlifter, or what?” The man replied “I work for the IRS.”

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Contributed by Burleson County Sheriff ’s Department William Rios, Sheriff

I have worn a badge for more than forty years. Thirty-six of those years were spent with the Houston Police Department. Today I serve as Sheriff of Burleson County. That path has taken me from city streets to country roads, from night shifts and narcotics work to a rural office where neighbors still know one another by name. Through all of it, I have never lost the simple fact that I am proud to be an American. That pride did not start with me. My father, Joe Rios, served in the United States Air Force during the Korean War. My son, Willie Rios, served in the Air Force during the wars in the Middle East. He is now a sergeant with the Houston Police Department. My daughter Stephanie serves as a deputy with the Harris County Sheriff ’s Office. She earned her degree while raising her babies and her family. My oldest daughter, Jennifer, raised a family while she went to college, earned her bachelor’s degree and then her master’s degree, and today works as an accountant for multiple companies. Three generations of our family have put on a uniform—military or law enforcement—and another chose the hard work of education while raising children. That is the American story in one household. None of it would have been possible without my wife, Irma. She had a career of her own, yet she took care of this family and helped raise these three children who have made us all very proud here in America. Through every stage of my career—the good days and the few bad days—she has been there to support me. She is the steady hand behind everything this family has built. I am proud of that record. I am prouder still of what it represents.

Proud to Be an

American

America is not a finished product. It is a promise that a man or a woman willing to work, learn, stay honest, and keep showing up can build a life. I have seen that promise kept in Houston and I see it kept here in Burleson County—in Caldwell, Snook, and Somerville. I have seen it in my own house: Jennifer, who raised children while finishing two degrees; Willie, who served overseas and then put on a police badge; Stephanie, who earned her degree while raising her family and now serves the public every day. Opportunity is real in this country. It is not handed over without effort. It is available to those who put in the hard work and the time—whether that work is a patrol shift, a college classroom after the kids are in bed, or both. That is why I took this job. A sheriff ’s office is not about titles. It is about keeping the peace so families can work their land, raise their children, go to school, and live without fear. It is about treating people fairly whether they live in Caldwell, Snook, or Somerville. It is about remembering that the badge is a public trust, not a privilege. I am proud of the men and women who serve beside me. I am proud of the veterans in our county who came home and still look after their neighbors. I am proud of the quiet, everyday Americans who pay their bills, raise their kids, finish their education, and expect their government—including their sheriff—to do the same: show up, do the job, and tell the truth. My father served. My son served. My daughters serve in their own ways—Stephanie with a badge and a degree earned while raising her family, Jennifer with degrees earned while raising a family and a career built on hard work. Irma held this family together through it all. I serve. We did not do it for applause. We did it because this country, with all its flaws and all its strength, is still the place where a family like ours can work, protect, learn, and pass something better to the next generation. I believe God is the center of all of it. He guided my parents through the Korean War and my family through the wars in the Middle East, and He has been with me through every shift I have ever worked. He has blessed this country with freedom, and He has blessed my family with the strength to use it. I thank Him every day for the life He has given us, and I pray He continues to watch over America and the people I serve. That is why I am proud to be an American. Not because we are perfect, but because we are free to keep trying—and because the work is worth it.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers

Some of my friends exercise every day. Meanwhile I am watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

I was mugged by a thief last night on my way home. Pointing a knife at me...He asked me, “Your money or your life?” I told him I am married...so I have no money and no life... We hugged and cried together. It was a beautiful moment...

Poetry by Jim Wilson Jim Wilson is a retired veterinarian living in the Burton, Texas area. He graduated from Texas A & M College of Veterinary Medicine in 1973 and owned a mixed animal veterinary practice in Abilene, Texas from 19762015. He began writing and trying to keep up with his poetry in about 2000. His launch was winning a poetry contest in the Abilene Reporter News in 2000. He has published six poetry books in the last 25 years and in many journals, newsletters, and newspapers of various genres. His goal is to get poetry published where it is not traditionally seen. In 2023 he published his first children’s picture book, Freckles and Speckles Save the Day and that has opened a whole new world. He greatly appreciates being included in The Front Porch with the hard work, common sense, humor, and spirituality of all the writers in the magazine and the exceptional editing and publishing talents of Sandi and Tyler to produce a top-quality magazine that he is am proud to be a part of. Thank you for the opportunity to showcase his work. Dr. Jim Wilson 5880 Ganske Road Burton, Texas 77835 jwilson@abilene.com 325-668-1842 jamesraywilson.com

The Thin Black Line

Pollyanna Seriously

It is amazing the difference moving a pencil line an eighth of an inch makes in a message like traveling from Hawaii to the North Pole

I have decided to love unconditionally. No more keeping score. I have wasted too much of my life setting personal, arbitrary standards judging and condemning.

The pencil stroke is profound and absolute. Under - it speaks approval and agreement, or the tiniest elevation shouts elimination and denial. Yes - it makes all the difference in the world whether you underline a person or mark them out.

Limericks of Life I loaned Dottie my coat It was raining and we had no boat She was shivering cold And I wished to be bold With a kindness approved by God I could note There was a sick, sad man from Nashville Who found that joy didn’t come in a pill So he traveled the earth Looking for medical mirth And found a life of service brought total healing, joy and thrill!

My influence is small. I won’t make much difference, but if ever I - decided to love and practice no more evil, we could all love unconditionally, and there would be no more evil. I am not looking to lead but maybe if we all joined in one long, winding chorus line, that would resolve the conflict. I’m too old to high kick, but I would love to link arms.

Choice Lord Spirit: Creator of all sadness by giving choice. Creator of all joy by giving choice. Tolerant of all evil giving choice value. Keeper of secrets of life sharing when asked. Enlightened creation following soon - I hope. We don’t understand exactly how the world works and that distresses our ego. We know that we should give God all power and praise but sometimes.....we need to realize that God has won over all evil by the resurrection of his son Jesus Christ so we should be good children of God and obey him and be happy children.

Patriotism Begins at Home by J. Tyler Clark

Earlier this summer, a Gallup poll stopped me in my tracks. As our nation celebrated its 250th birthday, just 27% of Democrats said they were “extremely” or “very” proud to be American, compared with 51% of independents and 93% of Republicans. Those numbers reveal a crisis of gratitude and national confidence. America is not perfect, but for 250 years this extraordinary experiment in liberty and self-government has endured, corrected course, overcome enormous challenges, and given ordinary people the freedom to build extraordinary lives. That poll inspired the theme of this edition of The Front Porch: Proud to Be an American. Not long afterward, I was perusing Caldwell’s new antique store, The Inspired Willow, when I picked up a 1938 volume titled, Book of Patriotism, a collection of essays compiled by George Frisbie Hoar. Inside was a line that seemed written for our time: “The man who loves his household, and his kindred, and his town, and his state best, will love his country best.” Love of country does not begin in Washington. It begins at the dinner table, in the church pew, on Main Street, and across the fence between neighbors. The reasons I am proud to be an American could fill this magazine, but most come down to three words: God, kin, and country. I am proud to be an American because our founding principles recognize that our rights come from our Creator—not from government. What government grants, government can withdraw. Our constitutional republic exists to secure God-given rights, restrain government power, and protect ordered liberty. America needs God-fearing patriots who understand that freedom cannot survive without faith, virtue, personal responsibility, and moral courage. Laws may punish wrongdoing, but they cannot produce honesty, sacrifice, strong families, or love of neighbor. Those qualities are formed in homes and churches. I am proud to be an American because strong nations are built

from strong families and communities. Here in Burleson County, America is not an abstraction. It is the farmer in the field, the business owner creating jobs, the teacher in the classroom, the first responder answering the call, and the congregation praying together on Sunday. We cannot surrender every responsibility to Washington. Loving America means raising children who know their history, checking on neighbors, supporting local businesses, honoring those who serve, and preserving a place for the next generation. I am proud to be an American because we inherited a constitutional republic grounded in faith, limited government, free enterprise, individual responsibility, and equal justice under law. We can speak, worship, work, build, defend our families, petition our government, and begin again after failure. America’s shortcomings do not erase its greatness. They remind us to apply its founding principles more faithfully—not abandon them for ideologies that concentrate power, weaken families, or treat freedom as an obstacle. Patriotism is more than a slogan. Gratitude carries an obligation. If we value liberty, we must defend it. If we value faith and family, we must pass them on. Please look at the back cover for a practical way to support local young people through church-based Christian college scholarships. I am proud to be an American. More importantly, I intend to do my part to keep America faithful, free, and worthy of that pride.

From the Back Porch THE MORNING AFTER THE ZOO PARTY!

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Last night I was out for a few drinks and a meal. One thing lead to another and I had a few too many beers ` and then went onto the wine, finishing with coffee and brandy. Not a good idea. Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car and took a bus home. Sure enough, I passed a police checkpoint, where they were pulling over drivers and performing breathalyzer tests. Because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I’ve never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from. Now it’s parked outside my house and I don’t know what to do with it!

GIVING UP EVERYTHING Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one has to drop off, otherwise they are all going to fall. They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as a woman she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, and for men in general, without ever getting anything in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.

************

TWO REDNECKS ARE WALKING DOWN.. A man was checking his itemized lawyers bill. One item read: Spotted you across the street. Crossed over to discuss a legal point in your case. When I got there it was not you after all. 20 dollars.

Two rednecks are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, “Hey Tommy Ray, what’cha got in th’ bag?” “Jus’ some chickens.” “If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?” “Shoot, ya guesses right and I’ll give you both of them.” “OK. Umm... five?”

Proud to be AN

American Agricultural Producer The American agriculture industry was and still is the back bone of our country. In the past, the people of this great nation provided almost all of their agricultural consumables. However, our federal government began to incentivize net imports instead of exports as early as the 1980’s. This has driven down profitability and stability in the domestic agriculture industry. Additional pressures like screw worm infestation, mealy bugs, army worms, water insecurity and market fluctuation have made an unpredictable industry. I am especially proud of the people of Burleson County because they have survived these tough times. Think about it, oil and agriculture are the primary industries in this county. Farms, ranches, ag related businesses and hobby ag producers have not only endured but sometimes prospered during these tough times. America must support domestic agriculture in order to provide sustainable food and renewable energy supply that will not put us at the mercy of foreign countries that want us to fail. Everyone has to eat and we have seen what happens when we rely on foreign countries to provide consumables, rare earth minerals and energy. Inevitably, they betray us and extort as much as they can both monetarily and politically. China, India, Pakistan and most countries in Europe are jealous of America’s success and will do anything to diminish our progress, especially when a conservative hawk like D.J. Trump is in charge. The most important message here is self-sufficiency. We must be a net exporter of grain, beef and all other major agriculture products. Our national debt is exploding with the war in Iran and over spending by a corrupt ineffective Congress. D.J. Trump is doing what he can but it takes two to dance and the Senate Republicans are impotent as usual. In addition, there is a resurgence of the communism party in the USA which is another major issue! But I digress, so let’s get back to agriculture. Why do we import agricultural products that kill and make Americans sick with disease like E. coli, cryptosporidium and other infectious diseases? America should not only grow their own produce, beef, pork and poultry but be net exporters of these commodities. We still have millions of immigrants, thanks to Joe Biden, and they need to go to work, pay taxes, obey our

laws and stop sucking off the federal government tit or be deported. Passage of a farm bill without ethanol 15 is paramount. The farm bill must be passed for much needed stability of the agricultural industry but subsidies of the ethanol industries by the federal government must end. If ethanol is so good, then it should stand on its own without federal subsidies. Federal support of corn farmers in the Midwest inflates food prices for regular Americans and globally. We should import from other countries; however, we should not be totally reliant on them for any commodity. Independence begins with self-reliance and a healthy agriculture industry is paramount for a healthy nation. The Chinese are leveraging trade of agriculture commodities with other materials that we have neglected to make in America. This has created a trade deficit and made the USA vulnerable. We must embrace the America-first agenda and reject the current resurgence of socialism and communism in the liberal blue states. We are a proud and patriotic people in Burleson County and be it the cowboy, corn farmer, agriculture retailer or weekend family farmer, we will prevail and survive. I sense an uptick in American patriotism and self-sufficiency with rural folks. The key is to incentivize the younger generations by promoting freedom of choice and independence, both of which they are giving up when they embrace socialism and communism. The farm bill now being held up by the US Senate should have programs to enable young people in agriculture to afford business ownership and allow transfer of agriculture interest without harsh tax implications. The younger generation needs federal subsidies not Midwest grain corporations that control tens of thousands of farmland acreage stolen from the smaller American farm families. Many of these corporations are now owned or partially owned by Chinese and many other foreign interest. So, join with me and Make American Agriculture Great Again (MAAGA)! Buy American and especially support our local producers. MAGA Jack F McKemie

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers THE INTERVIEW A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. “So, Miss, can you tell me your age, please?” The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, “Ehhhh .. 22!” The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. “And can you tell me your height, please?” The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, “Five foot two!” This isn’t looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics. “And uhh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?” The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying, “Mandy!” The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, “Just out of curiosity, Miss. I can understand your counting on your fingers to work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what were you doing when *I asked you your name?” “Ohh that” replies the blonde, “That’s just me running through “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you....’’

I didn’t grow up needing safe words--I just knew when to shut up.

When a woman asks you to guess her age, it’s like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb.

What Keeps the Stew in America’s Melting Pot Deliciously Simmering? by Karen Fritsche

Imagine what it was like to be a settler in this country all those years ago. Think about Texas in the summer — and no air conditioning. Whew! Think about having every store you need within a halfhour drive — not walking, not horseback. And finally — and most amazingly — think about this: you want to talk to your bestie, your mom, or your partner, and instantly a message is sent anywhere in the world, like magic, carried on a whisper. And there on your phone is exactly what you needed — a word of encouragement, a silly emoji, or the familiar face you were aching to see. The changes we’ve seen are truly awesome. Moments like these remind me that America has always been evolving; bubbling with new ideas, the ingredients of our preverbal melting pot — a comforting stew that has been slowcooking for generations. Every person, every idea, every tradition adds its own flavor. Some ingredients are bold, some subtle, and some quietly deepen the mix. As Americans, we can choose what ingredient we’ll be — a bit peppery today, speaking out, or the steady celery an donions, building blocks shared around the world. For me, being an American isn’t about being the biggest ingredient. It’s about adding my flavor — my time, my curiosity, my ideas — to help keep the pot deliciously simmering for everyone. As a member of Harrie’s Friends, I see this rich stew brought to the table every day. Walk through the doors of the Harrie P. Wood-

son Memorial Library and you’ll find a cup of diversity— families with toddlers, teens discovering new interests, newcomers practicing English or Spanish, neighbors picking up the newest book from a favorite author. A handful of courage in every adult who signs up for a class and every child who raises a hand at story time. And you’ll feel a generous pinch of kindness in the volunteers who greet visitors, help with programs, teach classes, and make the library feel like home. Every chef knows a stew needs more than ingredients — it needs tending. It needs people willing to stir the pot, to add two scoops of shared ideas — the conversations, book discussions, laughter, and quiet moments of discovery. That’s where Harrie’s Friends come in. Our group adds a splash of opportunity to the mix. Through fundraising, donations, and volunteer hours, we help provide books for all readers, supplies for programs, and resources that keep the library vibrant and welcoming. We help ensure everyone finds something nourishing — a story, a class, a community. And we don’t do it alone. The generosity of Caldwell is one of the richest ingredients in this stew. Every donation and volunteer hour adds warmth and depth to the pot. It’s the kind of community spirit that reminds me why I’m proud to be American: because we show up for one another. We invest in our neighbors and give everyone a chance to learn, grow, and belong. If I were to assemble the Great American Stew, with its enticing blend of cultures and traditions, I would welcome every neighbor who walks through the library doors. Fold in ideas. Support programs that spark imagination, build skills, and bring people together. Stir in service. Give your time to events, projects, and efforts that strengthen the library’s reach. Season with hope. Celebrating that our community is part of something bigger, beautiful, and still cooking. That’s what keeps the stew in America’s melting pot simmering: everyday contributions from people who care and believe in their community. If you’re looking for a way to add your own ingredient, Harrie’s Friends has a place for you at their table. Email Harriesfriends@ gmail.com

Staying Ahead of the Game Complete This Financial Wellness To-Do List To Help Prepare for 2027 As the year winds down, it’s a great time to take stock of your fi- book club or discovering new hobbies and interests, it’s important nancial health and make a few important moves before the calendar to take care of your mind, body and spirit! flips to January. Completing a few simple steps between now and Informational Sources: GreenPath: “Your Year-End Financial Wellthen can help you feel more confident and prepared for 2027. ness Checklist” (December 23, 2024); M&F Bank: “End-of Year Financial Checklist: Your Secret Weapon Against Personal Money Check Your Retirement Plan Contributions. Review Stress” (accessed June 24, 2026). how much you’ve contributed to your 401(k), 403(b) or other workplace retirement plan this year. If you’re not contributing enough to LPL Financial and its advisors are only offering educational services and cannot offer parinvestment advice specific to their particular needs. If you are seeking investment receive the full employer match, consider increasing your contribu- ticipants advice specific to your needs, such advisory services must be obtained on your own separate tion rate accordingly. from this educational material. Year-end is also a good opportunity to review your investment selections and ensure they still align with your goals and com- ©2026 Kmotion, Inc. All rights reserved. This newsletter is a publication of Kmotion, Inc., whose role is solely that of publisher. The articles and opinions in this newsletter are those of fort level with risk. Kmotion. The articles and opinions are for general information only and are not intended Review Your Beneficiaries. Many people forget to update beneficiary designations on retirement accounts and insurance policies. Marriage, divorce, the birth of a child or other life changes may mean your current designations no longer reflect your wishes. A quick review can help ensure your assets go where you intend.

to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. Nothing in this publication shall be construed as providing investment counseling or directing employees to participate in any investment program in any way. Please consult your financial advisor or other appropriate professional for further assistance with regard to your individual situation. This material was prepared by LPL Financial, LLC RP-309-0826 Tracking #1154900 (Exp. 08/28)

Evaluate Your Emergency Fund. Unexpected expenses can happen at any time. Take a look at your emergency savings and determine whether you have enough set aside to cover several months of essential expenses. If not, commit to a solid plan to build that cushion in the coming year. Tackle Credit Card Debt. Credit card balances are one of the biggest obstacles to achieving financial wellness. When interest rates are in the double digits, a significant portion of each payment goes toward interest rather than reducing the balance. Take a few minutes to review any outstanding credit card debt and create a plan to pay down balances more aggressively in the coming year. If you have more than one credit card, consider either paying off the highest-interest debt first, or paying off the smaller balance(s) to build momentum. Set The Tone for Next Year. Whether it’s increasing retirement contributions, creating a realistic 12-month spending plan, starting to save for college tuition, paying down debt or some other financial priority, spend some quality time thinking about your financial goals for the coming year. And don’t forget about nonfinancial goals! Whether it’s exercising more, eating better, joining a

Kavon Novak, Fightin’ Texas Aggie class of ‘91, is a Registered Investment Manager, Wealth Advisor with LPL Financial. He holds a Series 7, 24, 63, and 65 license. Kavon has been in the financial industry since 1998 and is a multi-year “Outstanding Client Service” award recipient. He serves as a Caldwell City Alderman and is an active member on the Brazos Valley Council of Governments Board of Directors. In addition, he is involved with the Burleson County Chamber of Commerce, the Caldwell Men’s Lions Club, and the Caldwell Rotary Club. For a complementary financial consultation call 979-255-8796.

Our Judeo-Christian Legal Inheritance J. Tyler Clark is co-editor of the Front Porch Magazine and an estate planning and probate attorney in Caldwell, Texas. He is also the founder of the Christian Higher Education Foundation (C.H.E.F.), which is a Texas-based 501c3 nonprofit that helps churches invest in the next generation through Christian higher education. Learn more about CHEF on the back cover.

Long before courthouses, probate files, or written constitutions, God gave Israel a system of law meant to shape a people. The Law of Moses governed worship, but it also addressed matters familiar today: judges, witnesses, property, debt, restitution, public health, care for the poor, and inheritance. In Exodus 18, Moses appointed trustworthy judges to hear disputes. Deuteronomy 16 commanded judges to act impartially, reject bribes, and pursue justice. Other laws protected property, punished theft, and provided for widows, orphans, immigrants, and the poor. Law was not merely about power; it restrained wrongdoing, settled conflict, protected the vulnerable, and preserved peace. Inheritance was part of that order. In Numbers 27, the daughters of Zelophehad appealed to Moses after their father died without a son. God affirmed their claim and established a broader rule of succession. Though different from modern law, its purpose is recognizable: identify rightful heirs, prevent conflict, and provide an orderly transfer of property. Jesus affirmed the moral heart of this tradition, teaching that He came not to abolish the Law and the Prophets, but to fulfill them. He summarized their purpose: love God completely and love your neighbor as yourself. Paul likewise instructed believers to “bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). Modern Western law also draws from Roman law, English common law, local custom, and constitutional thought. Yet biblical and Christian principles helped shape ideals of honest judgment, protection of the vulnerable, accountability, and responsible stewardship. Texas estate law continues many of these practical purposes by providing rules for wills, heirs, property distribution, and protections for surviving families. A thoughtful estate plan does more than transfer possessions. It protects family, preserves a lifetime’s work, and provides a final opportunity to pass along faith, values, and purpose. These JudeoChristian principles make me proud to serve as an estate planning and probate attorney in America .

Out of the Mouths of Little Ones

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she’d done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, “But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!” I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye… 2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me a happy birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him “I am 62.” My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, “Did you start at 1?” 3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, “Who was THAT?” 4. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?” I mentally polished my halo and I said, “No, how are we alike?’ “You’re both old,” he replied. 5. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather’s word processor. When he asked what she was doing, she told him she was writing a story. “What’s it about?” he asked. “I don’t know,” she

replied. “I can’t read.” 6. I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask her what color it was. She would tell me the answer and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, “Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!” 7. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, “It’s no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.” 8. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, “Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.” The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. “That’s interesting,” she said, “how do you make babies?” “It’s simple,” replied the girl. “You just change ‘y’ to ‘I and add ‘es’.” 9. Children’s Logic: The teacher says “Give me a sentence about a public servant,” The small boy wrote: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.” The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked. “Sure,” said the young boy confidently. It means carrying a child.” 10. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep crowds back,” said one child. “No,” said another. “He’s just for good luck.” A third child brought the argument to a close.” They use the dogs,” she said firmly, “to find the fire hydrants.”

ircle of Kindness

These stories shines a light on everyday compassion, showing how kindness, empathy, mental well-being, and positive community still make a real difference in a world that often feels distant and cold.

Sometimes a person does not need a handout. They simply need one obstacle moved out of the way. A friend of mine had been struggling to get back on his feet when he finally received the break he had been working toward: a new full-time job. It was the kind of opportunity that could restore stability and open the door to a better future. There was only one problem. He needed a dependable way to get to work. So I turned to the Life in Caldwell Facebook group and posted a simple request for help. I hoped someone might have an idea or know of an inexpensive vehicle. Instead, Burleson County did what Burleson County does best— people began banding together to lift up a neighbor. Christy Grassl, owner of Sweet Kitten Candy, helped spread the word by sharing the post. (And if you haven’t tried her brittle and peanut butter cookies, you should. I bought four bags at the Kolache Festival, and they were the best I’ve ever had!) Her post helped us find Corey. Corey answered the call with a car that was no longer being used. What had been sitting idle could now become the bridge between someone who wanted to work and the job that could help him rebuild his life. Corey didn’t just give away a vehicle; he gave someone a chance to move forward. Steven Outland also stepped in. Before opening Firm Foundation, his new insurance business in town, Steven worked in automobile re-

pair. He spent three hours working on the car, using his time and experience to get it ready for the trip to Bryan for additional repairs. Trey Demottier of D & S Towing offered his truck in case the car couldn’t make the trip. Before we even knew whether we would need a tow, Trey was ready to help. We made it to Bryan, where Michael at Sterling Auto stepped in, helping with the needed repairs and ordering new parts. His willingness to contribute his skills helped turn everyone’s generosity into something practical: dependable transportation and a fresh start. No committee was formed. No campaign was organized. One neighbor shared a need, and others responded with what they had— a social media post, a car, mechanical ability, a tow truck, professional skills, and generous hearts. This is the community we should be proud to call home. It is also a reminder to support the local businesses and people who support our neighbors. Remember Christy and Sweet Kitten Candy, Steven and Firm Foundation, Trey and D & S Towing, and Michael at Sterling Auto. Not everyone can give away a car, repair one, or tow one. But everyone has something to offer. Share a post. Make an introduction. Give an hour. Encourage someone trying to begin again.

Kindness moves in a circle. When it reaches you, pass it forward. Together, we can keep opportunity— and our neighbors—moving.

Lithium Battery Fire Awareness: At Work, At Home, and On the Road

Did you know that there have been over 189 explosions and 10,000 fires caused by lithium batteries! Lithium-ion batteries power nearly everything we touch — phones, laptops, power tools, e-bikes, and electric vehicles. They’re efficient and reliable, but when damaged, defective, or misused, they can enter a chain reaction called thermal runaway: an internal short circuit heats the cell uncontrollably, breaks down the electrolyte, and releases flammable gas that ignites in seconds. Common triggers include overcharging, physical damage, extreme heat, and incompatible or damaged chargers. Small Devices: The Everyday Risk Phones, laptops, vapes, and power tool batteries cause the most incidents simply because there are so many of them. NFPA and FEMA recommend: • Charge only on hard, non-flammable surfaces — never under a pillow, on a bed, or on a couch. • Use only the manufacturer’s cord and charger; mismatched chargers can overheat the battery. • Unplug once fully charged and never charge a device that’s damaged. • Watch for warning signs — unusual odor, swelling, popping sounds, excess heat, or color change — and stop using the device immediately if any appear. • Never store batteries in hot cars, direct sunlight, or near flammable materials. • Don’t throw lithium batteries in the trash — recycle them at designated drop-off points, since damaged cells in waste streams are a known ignition source. In the Workplace OSHA and NFPA emphasize storage and charging discipline: keep batteries in dry, cool, ventilated areas away from combustibles; use only ULlisted batteries and chargers; limit stored quantities; and train staff to spot damage and respond safely. Facilities with e-bikes or bulk storage should avoid unattended overnight charging. Electric Vehicles (EV) EV fires draw outsized attention. EV fire burns hotter, longer, and can reignite hours later, so NFPA advises charging outdoors away from structures when possible and, if a fire starts, evacuating and calling emergency services rather than attempting to extinguish it yourself. Immediately call 911 to report a lithium battery fire so emergency crews can respond with the specialized equipment and training needed to safely manage the incident and protect first responders. The Bottom Line Whether it’s a phone charger on a nightstand or an EV in a garage, the same principles apply: use only listed, undamaged batteries and chargers; avoid extreme heat and physical stress; never leave charging devices unattended for long periods; and know how to recognize warning signs before they become an emergency. Small habits — charging on a hard surface, unplugging when full, recycling responsibly — meaningfully reduce risk across every scale of battery, from a single AA-sized cell to a multi-ton EV pack. Founded in 1974 and headquartered in Seguin, Texas, JB Safety International is a comprehensive workplace safety solutions provider dedicated to helping organizations create safer, healthier, and more compliant work environments. The company serves a broad range of industries — including oil and gas, manufacturing, construction, transportation, utilities, healthcare, and government — with a hands-on, site-specific approach backed by more than 200 years of combined instructor experience. JB Safety International offers a full suite of services: OSHA-compliant safety training delivered online or on-site in both English and Spanish, access to more than 2,000 online training courses, over 400,000 safety products from PPE and fall protection to spill response and specialized industrial equipment, HSE consulting and industrial hygiene services, safety audits and inspections, fire safety and emergency response training, active shooter preparedness, and mobile occupational health services that bring required physicals, respirator fit testing, and hearing conservation programs directly to client job sites.

Contact Information: JB Safety International . P.O. Box 476 . Seguin, TX 78156 . 281-857-7919 . jeff@bsafetyintl.com . www.jbsafetyintl.com

Things I Learned from My Children 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq.ft. house 4 inches deep. 2. If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3. A three-year-old voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy, who is wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. **It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room. 5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. 6. The glass in windows {even double pane} doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words “Uh-oh”, it’s already too late. 8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke… lots of it. 9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says it only happens in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day. 10. Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old. 11. PlayDoh and microwave should never be used in the same sentence. 12. Superglue is forever. 13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can’t walk on water. 14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O. 15. VCR’s do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. 16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. 18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is. 19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens. 20. The fire department in Austin has a 5-minute response time. 21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy! Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

America by Ed Wetterman

I remember the Centennial celebrations of 1976. I was eight years old. America had just come through a terrible war in Vietnam, failing to stop communism, the rise of the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia, high gas prices with the problems with OPEC, and only a decade removed from the Civil Rights Movement, the assassinations of Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr., John F. Kennedy, and Robert Kennedy. America had been very divided over many of these issues, more divided than we had been since the Civil War. Yet Americans still celebrated the Centennial. I remember School House Rock’s patriotic songs and cartoons on Saturday mornings. I remember my school celebrations as we all dressed up and sang songs of America the melting pot. Today, I see America very divided over many of our modern issues. Perhaps more divided than we have ever been since the 1960s. And I have to say I was a little disappointed with the 250th celebrations. It seemed they didn’t come close to what I remembered as a child. Have we lost what it means to be an American? A few years ago, I travelled with a group of Social Studies teachers to view the great battlefields of the Civil War. We visited Bull Run, Antietam, and a few others, but my greatest memory of that trip happened at Fredericksburg. In December of 1862, General Burnside of the Union Army of the Potomac decided to attack General Lee who was entrenched at the little town of Fredericksburg, Virginia. His plan was to send his troops across the Rappahannock River, enter the town, fight house to house, then send his troops up a long hill against the Confederates who were dug in behind a stone wall in a sunken road. Above them were Marye’s Heights, a very rocky hill with artillery that commanded the entire field of battle. It was a terrible defeat for the Union army. One man described the scene to President Lincoln as “butchery.” As I walked the battlefield I could see how futile the attack was. Anyone with any sense could see it. The union army had no chance with the Confederates entrenched and protected behind a stone wall in a sunken road with cannon fire raining down on them for the entire field back to the Rappahannock. For days, the Union soldiers were trapped on a hill and slaughtered until finally Burnside ordered a withdrawal. On the fourth day of battle over 8,000 Union soldiers had been shot in front of the stone wall. I stopped and read a plaque under a statue called the Angel of Fredericksburg. Apparently, a young man named Richard Row-

land Kirkland, from Louisiana, couldn’t stand the butchery and slaughter, hearing the cries of the wounded, begging for mercy, begging for water. He laid down his rifle and gathered water canteens from the other Southern soldiers and then stepped over the wall and went among the Union soldiers giving aide and water to as many as he could. He did this for over an hour and a half according to General Kershaw of the Confederate army. In my mind I imagined all those young men, dead and dying. Dying for what? For the evil of slavery? To preserve the Union? Did such political and social changes require the death of so many young men? I remember praying, “God, why? Why did so many have to die here?” It seemed so pointless. I then turned and climbed the rocky staircase to the top of Marye’s Heights and I again turned around and looked upon the entire battlefield and thought Burnside should have been put in prison for the slaughter he led his men into. Again, I asked God, “Why?” As I crested the hill, I could see the National Cemetery beyond, and the trees parted and I saw the American flag, old Glory, flying in the breeze. And I had my answer. America, the promise of a nation governed by the consent of the people, a government created to protect the rights of the people, a Representative Democracy where all men are created equal. We have not done a great job of living up to our creeds and our beliefs in many instances, but this American experiment continues. Freedom of speech, press, assembly, petition, religion, keep and bear arms, from illegal searches and seizures, from government overreach, giving us due process rights, and rights even for those accused or guilty of a crime, a nation where power is shared between federal, state, and local governments. We have the longest lasting government in the world today. The oldest continuing government in the world, despite being one of the youngest nations of the world. The Constitution is a brilliant document, and we should always be willing to fight for our rights and for the rights of all citizens of our nation. We are still a work in progress. It’s important to know the Constitution, know our rights, and to vote. Whether you are Republican, Democrat, or Independent, let your voice be heard. Never let those who have died serving our nation lie in vain.

America is still the light on a hill, a beacon of hope, and a symbol of freedom. May she always be.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers AVOIDING THE CROWDS It was Christmas Eve and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?” “Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant. “What?!? That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?” “Before the store opened,” he replied.

An elderly Canadian gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. “You have been to France before, monsieur?” the customs officer asked, sarcastically. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.

************

“Then you should know enough to have your passport ready.”

AN OLD MAN GOES TO THE WIZARD

The Canadian said, “The last time I was here, I didn’t have to show it.”

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a “curse” he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.” The old man says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”

“Impossible, Canadians always have to show their passports on arrival in France!” The Canadian senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look, then he quietly explained, “Well, when I came ashore at Juno Beach on D Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn’t find any Frenchmen to show it to.”

Coffee &

Family

or Kelly Behrens, opening Crazy Chicken Lady Coffee Company in Somerville wasn’t a lifelong dream. It was one of those ideas that came along at just the right time.

After years of working alongside her husband in his air-conditioning business, Kelly was ready for something of her own. She loved coffee, loved people and, as her sister-in-law pointed out, was already something of a “coffee snob.” Then her future daughter-in-law, Shea, mentioned that she had always dreamed of owning a coffee shop. The pieces started falling into place. Even the building had a family connection. Kelly and her husband purchased the former IGA grocery store in 2021. His family has owned property near Somerville for more than 100 years, and as a boy he visited the store with his father and grandfather. One surviving piece sealed the deal: the old door to the grocery store’s meat locker. “That door and the memory of this building in his childhood was the whole reason we picked this location,” Kelly said. After extensive renovations, the original exterior walls, crumbling plaster and restored meat-locker door remain, giving the colorful coffee shop a healthy dose of Somerville history. And the name? Kelly really is a crazy chicken lady. Her fascination began about 15 years ago with four hens. Today, she has more than 50. “They just make me happy,” she said. The shop takes its coffee seriously, too. Beans come from What’s the Buzz Coffee Co. in College Station, while syrups and baked goods are made in-house. Favorites include the Golden Hour, a salted caramel and vanilla latte, and Henrietta’s Brew, featuring house-made cake-batter syrup and vanilla cold foam. But Kelly hopes Crazy Chicken Lady becomes more than a coffee stop. She wants it to be a comfortable gathering place—and perhaps part of a broader Somerville revival.

“People just need to see the good here,” she said. “It really is an amazing town.”

Freedom, Service & A Place We Call Home

by Tina M. Smith Lt Colonel Tina M. Smith was commissioned as a Distinguished Graduate through the Air Force Reserve Officer Training Corp at Southeast Missouri State University on 9 May 1987. She served eight years on active duty before transferring to the Reserve Component, then retired 15 Nov 07. She and husband, Darren (of 36 years), have four grown children and two grand children. Smith is the Burleson County Veterans Service Officer and also a member in the VFW, American Legion, and Disabled American Veterans. In her spare time, she enjoys playing Mah Jongg, beekeeping, reading, and cooking. Duty Assignments: Sep 2004 – Nov 2007: Chief, Weather Applications at USAF Weapons School, Nellis AFB, NV Mar 1996 – Sep 2004: Commander, 209th Weather Flight at Camp Mabry, Austin, TX Oct 1994 – Oct 1995: Staff Weather Officer to 1st Cavalry Division at Fort Hood, TX Aug 1991 – Aug 1994: Team Chief, European Forecast Unit at TrabenTrarbach, Germany Aug 1990 – Apr 1991: Weather Flight Commander at Al Ain AB, United Arab Emirates Dec 1988 – Aug 1991: Weather Liaison Officer at Det 7, 17WS Kelly AFB, TX Dec 1987 – Dec 1988: AFIT Basic Meteorology Student at Texas A&M University Professional Military Education: Air War College 2003 Air Command-Staff College-Joint 1998 Squadron Officer School 1994 Decorations:

Meritorious Service Medal, Air Force Commendation Medal and Air Force Achievement Medal

Serving in the military gave me the opportunity to see a lot of the world and to live in different countries. It opened my eyes to the world with an appreciation of diversity, but also deepened my appreciation and connection to the country I call home. Honestly, I would never choose to live anywhere but here. I am so blessed to have been born in this country where opportunity abounds for those with the tenacity and work ethic to pursue their dreams and happiness. Go to any other country and you will see why many people flock to our borders for the chance at the American dream. Our politics may be divisive and polarizing at times, but we can agree to disagree and not fear being thrown in prison for our protected speech. If you have not read the Bill of Rights lately, it’s worth a look to familiarize yourself and understand those first 10 amendments to our Constitution. Our country’s forefathers, the 56 brave Patriots who signed the US Declaration of Independence in 1776, put everything on the line. They pledged their lives, fortunes, and sacred honor to establish this nation. Many signers died during the Revolutionary War, and others were captured and imprisoned, as were their wives and children. That desire for liberty, opportunity and self-governance was worth the risk of charges of treason, imprisonment, and even death. We owe them a debt and we owe a thank you to the young people who currently serve in the armed forces to protect these fundamental rights. Roughly two million active and reserve troops stand guard at the gates today, a mere 0.6% of our population. Our freedom has always depended on ordinary Americans from ordinary communities answering the call during extraordinary circumstances. Burleson County has certainly answered that call and been part of this country’s patriotic story, for which we can be proud. While I’m a transplanted veteran who hails from Missouri, my husband calls Caldwell home (class of ’84). Not only is the county beautiful, the cultural heritage and community spirit are appealing to families and retirees. I was surprised to learn a bit of military history and family ancestry linked to Burleson County. My husband’s uncle was a Navy frogman in WW2 and spent time aboard the USS Burleson. The USS Burleson, an Aprilia-class attack transport vessel, was commissioned on 8 Nov 1944. Thus far, she is the only US Navy ship to be named for Burleson County, Texas. She spent most of her duty in the Pacific, receiving one battle star for taking part in the assault and occupation of Okinawa. After the war ended in August 1945, she was repurposed as an animal transport for nuclear testing duty at Bikini Atoll, and finally retained as a reserve training vessel until being scrapped in 1968. I’m sure this is not the only hidden gem of history that may be unknown to some community members. I encourage you to learn more about Burleson County. Our story is still being written. With a shared commitment to service, courage, compassion, and conviction, we can ensure our best chapters are yet to come.

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Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers TRAFFIC LIGHT CAMERA

A man was driving down the road. He passed a traffic camera and saw it flash. Astounded that he had been caught speeding when he was under the speed limit, he turned around and, going even slower, he passed by the camera. Again, he saw it flash. He couldn’t believe it! So he turned and, going at snail’s pace, he passed the camera. AGAIN, he saw the camera flash. He guessed it must have a fault, and home he went. Four weeks later he received 3 traffic fines in the mail, all for not wearing a seatbelt. ************

BE MY VALENTINE A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, “I’m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?’” “But why?” asks the man. “I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man replies.

If you don’t have the time to do it right... What makes you think you have the time to do it twice?

You be the Judge. Life’s a little thing! Robert Browning once wrote. But a little thing can mean a life. Even two lives. How well I remember. Two years ago in downtown Denver my friend, Scott, and I saw something tiny and insignificant change the world, but no one else even seemed to notice. It was one of those beautiful Denver days. Crystal clear, no humidity, not a cloud in the sky. We decided to walk the ten blocks to an outdoor restaurant rather than take the shuttle bus that runs up and down the Sixteenth Street Mall. The restaurant, in the shape of a baseball diamond, was called The Blake Street Baseball Club. The tables were set appropriately on the grass infield. Many colorful pennants and flags hung limply overhead. As we sat outside, the sun continued to beat down on us, and it became increasingly hot. There wasn’t a hint of a breeze, and heat radiated up from the tabletop. Nothing moved, except the waiters, of course. And they didn’t move very fast, either. After lunch Scott and I started to walk back up the mall. We both noticed a mother and her young daughter walking out of a card shop toward the street. She was holding her daughter by the hand while reading a greeting card. It was immediately apparent to us that she was so engrossed in the card that she did not notice a shuttle bus moving toward her at a good clip. She and her daughter were one step away from disaster when Scott started to yell.

He hadn’t even gotten a word out when a breeze blew the card out of her hand and over her shoulder. She spun around and grabbed at the card, nearly knocking her daughter over. By the time she picked up the card from the ground and turned back around to cross the street, the shuttle bus had whizzed by her. She never even knew what almost happened. To this day two things continue to perplex me about this event. Where did that one spurt of wind come from to blow the card out of that young mother’s hand? There had not been a whisper of wind at lunch or during our long walk back up the mall. Secondly, if Scott had been able to get his words out, the young mother might have looked up at us as they continued to walk into the bus. It was the wind that made her turn back to the card – in the one direction that saved her life and that of her daughter. The passing bus did not create the wind. On the contrary, the wind came from the opposite direction. I have no doubt it was a breath from God protecting them both. But the awesomeness of this miracle is that she never knew.

As we continued back to work, I wondered how God often acts in our lives without our being aware. The difference between life and death can very well be a little thing. Miracles often blow unseen through our lives.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers REMEMBER: when something goes wrong in the circus, they send in the clowns to distract the audience. Well, something has gone very wrong with this circus, and the clowns are everywhere.

TOLERANCE will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking so as not to offend the imbeciles.

THE FOREST was shrinking, but the trees kept voting for the Axe, for the Axe was clever and convinced the trees that because his handle was made of wood, he was one of them. Turkish Proverb

************ THE SHEEP will spend its entire life fearing the wolf, only to be eaten by the shepherd. African Proverb

************ THINKING is difficult, that is why most people judge. Carl Jung

************ NO amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot. Mark Twain

The Difference Between Men & Women Let’s say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they’re driving home, a thought occurs to Martha, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: “Do you realize that, as of tonight, we’ve been seeing each other for exactly six months?” And then, there is silence in the car. To Martha, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he’s been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I’m trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn’t want, or isn’t sure of. And Fred is thinking: Gosh. Six months. And Martha is thinking: But, hey, I’m not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I’d have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily towards, I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person? And Fred is thinking: …so that means it was…let’s see…February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer’s, which means…lemme check the odometer…Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here. And Martha is thinking: He’s upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I’m reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed – even before I sensed it – that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that’s it. That’s why he’s so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He’s afraid of being rejected. And Fred is thinking: And I’m gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don’t care what those morons say, it’s still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It’s 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600. And Martha is thinking: He’s angry. And I don’t blame him. I’d be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can’t help the way I feel. I’m just not sure. And Fred is thinking: They’ll probably say it’s only a 90-day warranty…scumballs. And Martha is thinking: Maybe I’m just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I’m sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered,

schoolgirl romantic fantasy. And Fred is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I’ll give them a warranty. I’ll take their warranty and stick it right up their… “Fred,” Martha says aloud. “What?” says Fred, startled. “Please don’t torture yourself like this,” she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. “Maybe I should never have…oh dear, I feel so…”(She breaks down, sobbing.) “What?” says Fred. “I’m such a fool,” Martha sobs. “I mean, I know there’s no knight. I really know that. It’s silly. There’s no knight, and there’s no horse.” “There’s no horse?” says Fred. “You think I’m a fool, don’t you?” Martha says. “No!” says Fred, glad to finally know the correct answer. “It’s just that…it’s that I…I need some time,” Martha says. (There is a 15-second pause while Fred, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.) “Yes,” he says. (Martha, deeply moved, touches his hand.) “Oh, Fred, do you really feel that way?” she says. “What way?” says Fred. “That way about time,” says Martha. “Oh,” says Fred. “Yes.” (Martha turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.) “Thank you, Fred,” she says. “Thank you,” says Fred. Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Fred gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a college basketball game between two South Dakota junior colleges that he has never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it’s better if he doesn’t think about it. The next day Martha will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either. Meanwhile, Fred, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Martha’s, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: “Norm, did Martha ever own a horse?” And that’s the difference between men and women.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Short Season On the first day of the deer hunting season, a hunter falls out of a deer stand and breaks both his legs. “Why couldn’t this happen on my last day of hunting?!” THe hunter cries to the doctor. “It did,” the doctor replies. ************ Lost in Translation Two deer-est friends (get it?!) decide to try hunting for the first time but agree to split up to increases their chances. “What if we get lost?” says one of them. “Fire three shots up in the air, every hour on the hour,” says the other. “I saw it on TV.” Sure enough, one of the hunters finds himself lost in the woods, so he fires three shots up into the air every hour on the hour. The next day the other hunter finds his friend with the help of the Forest Ranger. “Did you do what I said?” asks the hunter. “Yes, I fired three shots up into the air every hour on the hour, until I ran out of arrows.”

Every time I hear the dirty word ‘exercise’, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. This morning, I accidentally changed the GPS Voice to “Male.” Now it just says, It’s around here somewhere. Keep driving.” 57

HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT Let me ask you a question - what do you believe to be the highest profit-making industry in the world today? In my younger years, General Motors, Exxon, Ford, IBM, and AT&T were king. The oil, automotive, data processing, and telecommunications industries dominated. Fast forward to 2026. According to Investopedia.com, which uses net income to determine profitability, the top three profitmaking industries globally are energy, technology, and finance. When I was presented with researching the topic of this article, I had to start at ground zero. My limited perception was that this was an overseas problem, or perhaps a problem in Mexico - certainly not critical in our country and certainly not in Texas or our communities. We teach our children to be careful, as in “Stranger Danger,” and that you can’t leave your child alone in public places. I believed that children were snatched off the street or from stores while their parents weren’t watching. Those, I thought, were the ones who became victims. I am talking about human trafficking. According to OurRescue. org, human trafficking is the exploitation of another person for labor or commercial sex through force, fraud, or coercion. In this article, we are addressing sex trafficking specifically. Yes, we are talking about this subject in our small-town magazine. Houston Area Women’s Center defines sex trafficking as a form of modern-day slavery involving the use of force, fraud, or coercion to obtain a commercial sex act, such as prostitution or pornography. When a minor is involved in a commercial sex act, force, fraud, or coercion does not have to be proven for it to be considered sex trafficking. Brace yourself; what I have discovered and will be sharing with you is hard to fathom. Also called child sexual exploitation, this “industry” remains widespread, impacting millions of minors globally. Why is this called an “industry”? I will share some statistics. 27.6 MILLION victims of human trafficking around the globe (International Labour Organization, 2021) $236 BILLION INDUSTRY Human Trafficking is the fastest-growing criminal enterprise 73% OF HUMAN TRAFFICKING PROFITS COME FROM SEX TRAFFICKING 73% OF $236,000,000,000 $172 BILLION - a thriving industry The Tim Tebow Foundation reports that it has been estimated that as often as every two minutes a life is being bought and sold as if it were merely a commodity to be traded. Human beings - image bearers of God - are being captured and exploited. The Foundation also reports that child sexual abuse images and videos are traded, distributed, and shared across the darkest parts of the internet. Porn websites are part of this problem. Houston has been described as a major hub for this activity. Elijah Rising reports that the United States hosts more unique domains with child sexual abuse material than any other nation in the world. Between April and June 2024, 274,838 advertisements for sex were posted online in Texas, with Houston ranking among the top cities for ad volume. Houston is one of the largest human trafficking hubs in the United States. Its proximity to the U.S.-Mexico border and its major transportation corridors, including Interstate 10, con-

tribute to concerns about trafficking activity. According to a University of Texas at Austin study, “Human Trafficking by the Numbers,” there were an estimated 79,000 minors and youth in Texas who were victims of sex trafficking. Demand is what funds sex trafficking. Without buyers, there is no business. Elijah Rising of Houston lists prostitution, pornography, and stripping among key areas in which sexual exploitation can occur. According to the Houston Area Women’s Center, trafficking can happen in every community, and victims can be of any age, social status, race, gender, or nationality. Men and boys are also victimized by sex traffickers, and some youth are particularly vulnerable. Commercial sex involving an adult is human trafficking when the person providing commercial sex is doing so as a result of force, fraud, or coercion. Many victims have been trafficked by romantic partners, including spouses, and by family members, including parents, or even by close family friends. After sitting down with our local Sheriff and Chief Deputy, I learned that minors are being targeted for sexual exploitation in our own backyard. Burleson County has arrested approximately 41 individuals accused of attempting to solicit sex online. Parents need to be aware that not everyone online is trustworthy, and some people prey on children. Sites and apps such as TikTok, and especially Discord, can be used by offenders to contact or engage minors for sexual purposes. Parents need to monitor and supervise their children’s online activities.

Cont’d on Page 61

Sandy Miller is a newcomer to Burleson County. She and husband Lee moved to Caldwelll in 2022. Sandy loves to write and has ventured into creating children’s books, poetry, and short stories. The Millers enjoy working their two acres and just appreciating God’s wonderful creations in nature.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Phil walks into his boss’s office one day and says, “Sir, I’ll be honest with you. I know the economy isn’t great, but I’ve got three companies after me, and I’d like to ask for a raise, respectfully.” After a few minutes of haggling, the boss finally agrees to give him a 5 percent raise, and he happily gets up to leave. “By the way,” the boss asks as Phil leaves his office, “which three companies are after you?” Phil replies, “The electric company, the water company and the phone company.” ******** In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, “Only take one. God is watching.” Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.” ******** A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?” She leaned over the counter and said, “Burrr-gerrr Kiiing.”

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Happy 250 America Paul Harvey Writes

We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I’d like better. I’d really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would. I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated. I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car. And I really hope nobody gives you a brandnew car when you are sixteen. It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep. I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in. I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it’s all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he’s scared, I hope you let him. When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you’ll let him/her. I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely. On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don’t ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won’t be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom. If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one. I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books. When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.....

I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like. May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole. I don’t care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don’t like it.. and if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend. I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle. May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays. I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor’s window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand. These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it’s the only way to appreciate life....

Hiding in Plain Sight Continued from Page 58

How does sex trafficking happen? A national survivor study by the Polaris Project showed that, prior to their trafficking, survivors reported experiencing other vulnerabilities at alarmingly high rates: • 96% experienced abuse (physical, sexual, emotional) • 93% experienced substance abuse and mental health challenges Other victims include runaway and homeless youth and foster youth. A victim could also be someone who has been bullied, neglected, or made to feel unloved. Often, traffickers identify and leverage a victim’s vulnerabilities to create dependency. Many child sex traffickers build trust with victims and eventually manipulate them into sexual exploitation. Once a trafficker has the victim’s trust, psychological tactics such as tricking, defrauding, manipulating, or threatening may be used to push the victim into commercial sex. The efforts of one of the Tim Tebow Foundation’s groups, along with Homeland Security Investigations and the Cyber Crimes Center, rescued a twelve-year-old girl from a life of sexual exploitation. In her own words, she described repeated live-streamed sexual abuse beginning when she was 11 years old, with multiple offenders directing acts online. Her account is graphic and heartbreaking, illustrating the cruelty children can endure through online sexual exploitation. During this research, I have had to walk away from my findings numerous times. I just cannot imagine such evil. What is this world coming to? This demonic activity has been going on since the beginning of time. Remember Sodom? Gomorrah? Tim says that when you find one offender, you will often find the children he is abusing. In one Operation Renewed Hope arrest, a single door led investigators to thirty children in that man’s community who were being abused and exploited. I found many good stories of rescue, hope, and recovery for the victims. Tim states that his organization has already identified 2,112 offenders, and we are only halfway through 2026. His organization works to identify and stop the people PAYING for the sexual exploitation of children - including live-streamed abuse, one of the fastest-growing forms of trafficking in the world. The United States is a leading source of demand for this abuse. This isn’t a distant crisis; it is being funded from here. The purpose of this article is to bring awareness to all, as it certainly has to me, that evil does indeed lurk, and evil is all around us. I am listing the organizations from which I obtained this information, including the phone and text information to the Texas/National Human Trafficking Hotline.

May God be with us all as we digest this information and let Him guide us in His will. REFERENCES The Tim Tebow Foundation Committed to fighting for those trafficked, exploited, and at risk of becoming victims. timtebowfoundation.org The Houston Area Women’s Center Crisis Response Team to help survivors from the moment they need help until they gain a sense of stability. hawc.org Elijah Rising Mission to end sex trafficking through prayer, awareness, intervention, and restoration. elijahrising.org Our Rescue Anti-trafficking organization. ourrescue.org National Human Trafficking Hotline 888-373-7888 or Text INFO to 233733 Hotline to aid victims, report trafficking, and share information. humantraffickinghotline.org Troy Brewer Ministries Based in Burleson, Texas, and working internationally with orphans and vulnerable children. troybrewer.com Texas Health and Human Services Texas human trafficking information and resources. Texas Human Trafficking Resource Center 888-373-7888 or Text INFO to 233733 State resources related to human trafficking prevention and response. Operation Underground Railroad / OUR Rescue Anti-trafficking organization and survivor-support resources. University of Texas at Austin Busch-Armendariz, N.B., et al. “Human Trafficking by the Numbers: The Initial Benchmark of Prevalence and Economic Impact for Texas.” Institute on Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault. Updated January 27, 2017. Polaris Project National Survivor Study.

We just pray that children everywhere get a chance to live the way they were meant toin dignity and freedom. The Front Porch Magazine

From a Single Stitch to

A Family Business Etched and Stitched is a small, family-owned business built from a love of creating meaningful, one-of-a-kind items. What started with a sewing machine and a little creativity has grown into a business with handmade sewn items as well as custom laser engraved items. Owners are Michael and Leah Bennett. Leah grew up in Caldwell and graduated from CHS in 1999. Michael grew up in Hallettsville, but landed in Caldwell after graduation while he was attending Texas A&M. They have raised their family here since 2000. Michael and Leah attend Caldwell Methodist Church and are active in many organizations such as Caldwell Burleson County Lions Club, Hospital District Board, Order of the Eastern Star #976 and The Warren Lodge #56. Our story began in 2020, when the world suddenly came to a halt. With no sewing experience, a simple sewing machine became the start of something completely unexpected. What began with making a single face mask quickly grew into thousands of

handmade masks and eventually opened the door to creating so much more. Today, Etched and Stitched offers a variety of handmade and laser-engraved products, including cutting boards, slate and cork coasters, leather journals, bottle openers, accessories, personalized gifts, and more. We especially love taking an everyday item and turning it into something personal, meaningful, and made just for you. As a small business, every purchase truly means something to us. When you shop with Etched and Stitched, you aren’t buying something that came off a large assembly line. You’re supporting a family, a dream, and a business that grew from humble beginnings. Whether you’re looking for a unique gift, something personalized for a special occasion, or simply something handmade that makes you smile, we hope you find something you love at Etched and Stitched.

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Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Britain’s oldest woman turned 114 today.

crew was in a fix.

When asked the secret of her longevity, she attributed it to taking a walk at midnight every night.

However, one smart flight attendant had an idea. A couple of hours into the flight she nervously announced,

When quizzed on whether she was concerned about the increase in muggings in recent years, she said that she was not, and would continue mugging people as long as her health holds out.

“Ladies and gentleman; we don’t know how this happened, but we have over 400 people on board, but only 200 dinners. Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal to someone else, will receive unlimited free liquor for the duration of the flight!”

*************

Her next announcement came six hours later: “Ladies and gentlemen, if anyone wants to change their mind, we still have 180 dinners available.”

A redneck’s father passed away in his sleep. So in the morning, he calls 911 to come pick up the body. The 911 operator told him that she would send someone out right away. “Where do you live?” asked the operator. He replied, “At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.” The operator asked, “Can you spell that for me? There was a long pause and finally he said, “How ‘bout if I drag him over to Oak Street and you pick him up there?”

Wife: Did I get fat during quarantine? Husdand: You weren’t really skinny to begin with! Time of Death: 11:00 pm Cause: Covid

************* A man and his wife are at a restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table. His wife asks, “Do you know her?” “Yes,” sighs the husband. “She’s my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.” “My God!” says the wife. “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?” ************* 400 passengers but only 200 meals were loaded onto a flight from Delhi to New York City. It was only discovered after take off, when the flight attendants started going through their preparations for the meals. So, the airline had bungled, and the

ANOTHER DAY IN SMALL TOWN AMERICA! AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE, WITH BETTY AND ROSE

A few weeks ago, I accompanied my wife to the doctor’s office. After entering the building, she stopped at the receptionist’s desk to check in and then joined me in the waiting area. The room had about a dozen others waiting, and there were plenty of empty chairs scattered about. After a short wait, the ‘special door’ opened and in the doorway stood a medical-uniformed-clad nurse who called my wife’s name. This nurse had a look about her that said she was all business, and when your name is called, don’t be messing around, and get through this doorway, NOW. (I think she was wearing combat boots.) My wife jumped from her seat and got there as fast as she could! A few minutes later, a senior lady (I’ll call her Betty) checked in at the receptionist’s desk and was told to take a seat. Betty entered the waiting area and looked around the room as she walked. I heard her say, “I don’t know anyone here.” I guess she was looking for a friend to sit next to. Then another senior lady (I’ll call her Rose) said, “My name is Rose and you can sit next to me.” That was all Betty needed to hear. With Betty having a new acquaintance, they started visiting. This went on non-stop for a good while. I was sitting across the room and not really interested in what they were talking about. when I heard one of them say, “and my oldest son yada yada

yada.” Now I am wondering, have they become best friends and are now revealing all their families’ dark secrets to each other? Just then, the special door opened, and guess who was calling the next name? Just like before, she meant NOW! The drill sergeantturned-nurse had disrupted the conversation between Just then, the special door opened, and guess who was calling the next name? Just like before, she meant NOW! The drill sergeant-turned-nurse had disrupted the conversation between Rose and Betty. Rose went into the other area, and the special door was closed. After Rose was gone and Betty was left to wait on her own, I wondered if the two seniors had exchanged contact information. Would they call each other tomorrow? If so, I imagine that future calls would be made house to house on a hard-wired rotary-dial telephone each still had connected to the wall (just in case the newfangled mobile cellular phones don’t work). Soon my wife returned through the special door and appeared unharmed. As we left the parking lot, I relayed the story of the two ladies, to which she got a good laugh. Thanks Betty and Rose for an entertaining afternoon.

Lee Otis Miller II Caldwell, Texas

THERE ARE TIMES WHEN MY GREATEST ACOMPLISHMENT IS JUST KEEPING MY MOUTH SHUT. 66

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