Suburban Parent: Dallas

OCTOBER 2015 | FREE suburbanparent.com

PARK CITIES | PRESTON HOLLOW | LAKEWOOD | AND MORE

EXPOSE YOUR CHILDREN TO THE ARTS

POETRY IN MOTION BE INSPIRED!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

KEEP MUSIC PRACTICE ON A POSITIVE NOTE WITH THESE IDEAS!

10/31/2015.

PUBLISHER/EDITOR Mary Ellen Caldwell, RD, LD, CLT editor@suburbanparent.com

MARY SHARES

CREATIVE DIRECTOR

MORE THAN READING, WRITING AND ARITHMETIC!

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CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Patrick Hempfing Heather Lee Leap Ken Swarner

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W

ith our kids now back in school; make sure they’re learning more than reading, writing and arithmetic!

BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER, Some of you may know that I have a son in college TENDERHEARTED, FORGIVING ONE ANOTHER, AS GOD IN and a daughter in 8th grade. I was a stay at home mom for CHRIST FORGAVE YOU. many years and had the joy of being very involved in both of — EPHESIANS 4:32 my children’s educational development. I can say with certainty that the most important education came from our own home environment. Respecting each other and trusting in God. It’s important to introduce the concept that people are different, and sometimes we are not on the same page with each other or with those outside our home. So being attentive to other’s differences is important. We are all uniquely created!

Along with all the other life lessons, we need to teach our children the gesture of kindness. Engaging in the practice of kindness immediately shifts our demeanor from busy/frazzled to a more positive place by moving outside ourselves and recognizing those around us. There are many opportunities to be kind.

It’s kind to pray for others and offer blessings. Example: Together, pray a small prayer for a homeless person you see on the street; ask God to lessen their load that day. Hold them in your thoughts for a little while.

Find the good in someone and then compliment them. Doing this may completely alter their day and help them feel good about themselves. Example: If you notice a good behavior of a friend, tell them that you think that was very kind, and smile. Did you know that simply smiling at someone can lift their spirits?

Teach your children to forgive others. Holding a grudge or revenge will never be gratifying. Nothing can top forgiveness, which helps to prevent aggressive behavior, and is good for our mental and spiritual health. Sometimes we may ask someone to forgive us. Example: Please forgive me for getting annoyed with you on the playground. That was not nice.

It’s kind to really listen. Sometimes we are mostly thinking of what we are going to say next, rather than actually listening to someone speaking to us. A great act of kindness is to fully listen to someone; giving them your full attention.

And lastly, teach your children self-kindness. It’s a good thing to recognize our own good behaviors, so it’s okay to pat ourselves on the back and say “that was good; I did good!”

You should just go ahead and give yourself a compliment, right now! SP

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Our cover model Emily is a fun loving girl who enjoys twirling, dancing and cooking in her play kitchen. She also loves to play ball with and chase after her big brother Christopher (5). Her favorite foods are chips and queso.

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ABA Center for Autism

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YOU SHOULD KNOW PUT IT IN YOUR HANDS SOAP AND WATER THAT IS!

According to a study published in the American Journal of Infection Control, more than 164 million school days are missed due to the spread of infectious diseases. Three million of those missed days are the direct result of acute conjunctivitis, also known as pink eye. It’s important to remind your children to wash their hands regularly and avoid touching their eyes as much as possible.

WHEN IT’S OK TO $PLURGE We know. You’re on a budget. We all are. But is there ever a time when it’s ok to splurge a little? Yes. For something tied to a memory like a special dress for a special occasion (can you say wedding dress?) or a vacation, perhaps. Financial planner Laura Scharrbykowsky explains that it’s not these infrequent purchases that get us in trouble, it’s the impulse buys and “got to have that” thoughts.

HELP KEEP IT IN PERSPECTIVE With unrealistic portrayals of beauty and masculinity all over the media, adolescents often have distorted views of their own body image. We, as parents, can help fix that by teaching them to think critically about claims regarding diet and body. Explain how amazingly buff athletes devote many hours a day to body building and super skinny models are probably photoshopped.

Ask them how many people they see every day who actually look like that. Rather, encourage them to live a healthy lifestyle.

Keep it in perspective..

Jack-o-Lantern

(HACK)

If your perfect pumpkin is missing its stem, don’t worry! You can still use it to create the perfect Jack-O-Lantern. Just carve the bottom out for the opening instead of the top. Once you’re done cleaning and carving your pumpkin, sit your light source on the bottom piece and place the pumpkin over it. No need for a stem handle. Hey, you could add a funny hat!

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EXPOSING KIDS TO THE ARTS There are many reasons to expose our kids to the arts, not the least of which is how it teaches problem solving skills and persistence despite setbacks. Think about the decision making process used when creating something: what color to use, how to make a line, etc.

These choices don’t just influence their art, they influence their lives. Researchers from Michigan State University found a strong correlation between childhood engagement in the arts and measurable success later in life. Give your child access to the arts and see what they do with it, be it music lessons, a trip to a museum or a simple arts & crafts box.

214-361-KIDS (5437)

8305 Walnut Hill Lane, Suite 225, Dallas, Texas 75231

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QUESTIONS { + PROFESSIONAL ANSWERS }

CARLA, MOM OF 2 Q. My preschooler really wants to chew gum. Is there an age appropriate time to allow kids to chew gum? I’m afraid she might swallow it or worse yet, get it in her hair. Am I being too cautious? Is it really that bad if she swallows a piece or two?

JAMIE, MOM OF 1 SON Q. What is Super Lice and how do I treat it?

A. Studies have confirmed that lice and,

A. Good news! Research actually shows that

Swallowing too much gum can cause health problems including diarrhea, abdominal pain, gas, mouth ulcers, dental problems and choking. The American Academy of Pediatrics guideline for when to allow a child to chew gum is to ensure she understands it shouldn’t be swallowed. If she understands that and knows how to properly dispose of it once it’s been chewed, she should be fine. A good indicator would be if she can hold toothpaste in her mouth and spit it into the sink.

especially nits, have become resistant to most of the chemicals in the OTC treatments. Here are 3 options to successfully treating them: 1.

Remove every single nit/lice through a very meticulous comb out process. Unfortunately it can take hours or days to complete and there’s always the possibility of missing a few nits that can re-start the infestation. 2. Cutting the hair to 1/8” (buzz cut); a drastic option and you still need to check for nits. 3. Dehydrating lice and nits with a controlled flow of heated air. There is a FDA-cleared device (Air Alle) that uses precise temperature, time and air volume to effectively kill lice and nits without toxic chemicals or spending hours in the process.

MARY ELLEN Your favorite Editor

LEARN MORE FACTS AND MYTHS www.endtheignorance.org

MARY ELLEN Your favorite Editor

A. As parents, we can never be too cautious.

seeds of empathy, caring and compassion are clearly visible early in a person’s life. You may remember your oldest caring for his younger sibling. It’s also noted that parents (adults) need to help kids nurture these seeds into full development. Consider serving others! Engage in a community service with your kids. It’s important that they see and hear from you that caring about others is a top priority. Also, it’s important for your kids to appreciate the many people who contribute to their lives. Make sure they know that it’s more important to be kind and grateful than it is to be happy. Of course, being kind will help make us happy!

WE ASKED THE SPECIALIST

Q. I have a 13 year old and a 7 year old, and I am thinking about enrolling my youngest in music lessons and would like to encourage my 13 year old to also enroll. He feels he is too old, however, I can sense he has a bit of interest. Any suggestions?

JEREMY FICKLE, Business Director, The Master’s Touch School of Music & Performing Arts

would have either taken music lessons when younger or not quit music lessons they took in their younger years.

There are many methods to teach an older beginner student that motivates them and many times they catch on quickly and find an immediate sense of accomplishment after just a few lessons. Music studies like piano, voice, guitar, drums or a band instrument continue to build students’ self confidence, concentration, problem solving skills and other life skills these teens will need as they move into young adulthood. We believe that an education in music is education for life and empowers a student to excel in the classroom and beyond at any age.

A. Music is such a big part of our society and it’s sometimes around the teen years when students wish they

EMAIL QUESTIONS: editor@suburbanparent.com 8

MOM IN NEED OF DIRECTION Q. My kids are 8 and 10. Raising them to be caring seems challenging. They tend to be selfish.

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WE LOVE THIS { YOU WILL TOO }

SMARTY BLOCKS

1 They’re not just blocks they’re Smarty Blocks. Each set comes with 10 easy-tohandle wooden blocks, 160 challenge cards, a sand timer and tons of fun. The object? Complete as many challenges in one minute that you can. Good for readers and non readers and the challenges range from simple stacking puzzles to sequencing, reading, spelling and logic. Ages 5 & up. We found it at www.fatbraintoyco.com, $28.95

DON’T BE CHICKEN...

2 Make a chicken! You can do this. (Need: white onesie, pilot cap, some felt, leggings, feathers and glue.) No-Sew Simple and you get to “strut your stuff”; and the cost is as much as “chicken feed!” So go ahead and “shake a tail feature”! We found it at lovelymorning.com/index.php/2013/11/ halloween-2013 Hey, readers! We would love an image if you make this!

MAIL ART!

Photo: lovelymorning.com

3 Turn your fave art or images into a Postage Stamp! Upload an image and turn it into a totally legit, U.S. Postal Service-approved stamp (scan in the piece of artwork, or take a digital pic of it and upload it from your computer). This is a great way to add a personal touch to any letter or holiday card you send. We like pictureitpostage.com because you can create oversize stamps (all the better to see the artwork), with lots of options for customizing type color and background.

Two printed sheets of 20 stamps for $17.95. www.pictureitpostage.com

SHARE ART!

4 We love our kids’ art; however it can become overwhelming to find space to store all of it! Well, “there’s an app for that.” The ARTKIVE app lets you tag and store images of your kids’ art work in seconds. You can even create a book and other keepsakes. www.artkiveapp.com, $4.99 at App Store

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to Call ur fo to r a da y!

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BY HEATHER LEE LEAP

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5 Ways to Find the Fun in Your Child’s Music Practice Who knew practicing an instrument could be fun-and-games? In many homes it involves shouting, grumbling and even tears, but it doesn’t have to. You can break out of a routine of arguing over music practice by playing instead. Playing games that is.

Children cannot see the long-term benefits of practicing; they rely on their parents support and encouragement to get them through the rough spots. But what if you are just as frustrated as your child and each practice session turns into a power struggle? Remember that music can bring great joy, and we all learn best in a harmonious environment.

At your child’s next practice, sound a positive note by trying the following activities.

1

GET MOVING, GET THE WIGGLES OUT, AND GET THE SONG EMBEDDED IN YOUR CHILD’S BRAIN: Listen to recordings of the songs your child is learning. Music-listening is a foundation of the Suzuki method, but is also used widely by professional musicians who listen to several versions of a piece they

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are preparing. Listen to the songs, march to the beat or dance with the rhythm, then sing the tune before playing. If there is a tough section in the music, sing it to your child and have him sing it back to you. Keep singing it, and having him sing it back until he gets it right. Singing the notes and rhythm correctly is a magic trick for improving your child’s playing.

2

SHIFT FOCUS ON YOUR OWN TERMS: Young children will find anything to focus on other than their music, so get creative and provide yours with a controlled distraction.

Keep a box of colored pencils and a special coloring book in the practice area. Each time your child finishes a musical task, ask him to color a small, specific portion of a picture in the book, such as a character’s shirt or the dog’s tail. Have him play another section of music or the next song, then color another part of the picture. This will get him moving and provide a break from focusing. Why colored pencils?

There are usually twelve or fewer in a box, and you don’t want your child to spend the whole time choosing a color.

3

SET UP A NO-RISK AUDIENCE: Invite all of the dolls and stuffed animals in your house to a special performance by their favorite musician. Your child can line the toys up on the couch while you set up the stand or get out the instrument. Announce the performer with a flourish and have her enter and bow before she begins her practice for the day. When she feels confident with her latest piece, have her perform for the whole family.

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Everywhere there are kids learning to play an instrument, there are families caught in power struggles over practicing.

When those same families have the tools to create joy in daily practice, tensions are relieved and the student becomes more proficient at playing.

A LITTLE REWARD GOES A LONG WAY: As long as candy is not a daily treat at your house, the lure of twenty M&M’s or jelly beans in a small dish can be a big thrill. Start with all twenty or so in the bowl. If your mini-Mozart gets off-task, talks back, or tries to sabotage his practice in some other way, you get to eat one of the treats. Keep eating them slowly until he settles down. Works like a charm because he gets to eat the ones that are left – if any – at the end of practice.

Best of all, you won’t resort to yelling and cajoling.

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REPETITION REAPS REWARDS: When your young musician is struggling, help her identify a trouble spot, then play “wipe-out!” Place three beads, buttons or small toys on the music stand and have her repeat the troublesome measure or line a minimum of three times. Let her slide one bead from one side of the stand to the other each time she plays it correctly. If she plays it wrong, even the last time - Wipe-out! She has to put all the beads back and start over until she can play it correctly three times in a row. Start with three beads for younger children. Some teachers recommend practicing specific measures up to fifteen times in a row.

Start your child’s music practice with one of these activities, or hold them in reserve for when frustrations are running high. Spread them out and use them sparingly for best results.

Whatever games you try, stop practice when your child is having fun and things are going smoothly. Ending at a peaceful moment when your child feels successful creates positive feelings which will carry over into the next day’s practice. SP Don’t forget to tell our advertisers you saw them in Dallas Parent!

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The Art of Words

BY HEATHER LEE LEAP

P

oetry suffers an undeserved reputation as something cool and standoffish, but that may be because poems are so often left to lie flat and lifeless upon the page. It’s time to brush off the ashes and find the glow in poetry. Giving breath to poems, like blowing on fading embers, will light a fire in children and adults as they discover the magic and art of words. Share them, read them aloud and poems come to life.

Poetry has a vital place in our culture. Whether you are a life-long poetry fan or giving poetry another chance, for the sake of your children, let the following ideas inspire you and your family to explore poetry throughout the year.

Choose a Poem of the Day or Week. Have family members take turns choosing a poem to share at breakfast, at dinner or at any time you can all be together. Encourage your family to respond to the poems and make connections. When introducing poetry to children at home consider the rhythm, cadence and emotion in a poem rather than pushing them to search for meaning.

Sneak it in. Offer poetry as a snack. Copy a short poem onto a slip of paper and tuck it into your child’s lunchbox as a surprise.

Read poetry and sing songs to babies and toddlers. Little ones will build language skills, absorbing rhymes and rhythms of music and poetry, long before they comprehend the content.

Write your own poems. Try a progressive poem where each person begins a poem, then passes the paper to the next person to add a line. Read through various types of poems and see if you can mimic a particular style.

Be Inspired by Books

Volunteer to lead a poetry group at your child’s school or homeschooling group. Read poems aloud and choose poems to memorize. Include time to write poetry and share your creations.

Visit your public library. A great source for local activities, look for announcements of upcoming poetry events. Ask a children’s librarian for recommendations and bring home an armload of poetry books to peruse.

Memorize and recite poetry. Children build stamina and determination, eventually memorizing poems with as many as fifteen verses. There is power in their achievement, and they are always amazed and proud of their accomplishments.

In a classroom setting, students can practice in pairs, reciting aloud and prompting each other to aid in memorization. Patrice Vecchione, editor of Whisper and Shout: Poems to Memorize, suggests creating visualizations to make associations between images in a poem and something you already know.

Memorizing with the intent to perform at a specific time and place establishes a deadline and purpose and can provide momentum and boost enthusiasm for the challenge of learning a piece by heart. Invite friends to a poetry slam at your home, and perform your own work, or recite favorite poems by others. Prepare a poem to recite for grandparents, perform a poem at a senior center or register for a public event.

Stand up as you read or recite; move to the cadence of the text. Poetry as performance art comes to life, rises from the page and can kindle a new interest in children, or simply light their way to the next discovery. SP

Heather Lee Leap is a freelance writer and mother of three. She is not at all embarrassed to admit she memorized several verses of “The Lady of Shallot” in high school, inspired by excessive doses of Anne of Green Gables on public television.

• A Child’s Garden of Songs, and Back to the Garden, the Poetry of Robert Louis Stevenson in Song, recording by Ted Jacobs • A Journey through Time in Verse and Rhyme, edited by Heather Thomas • My Uncle Emily, by Jane Yolen • Poem in your Pocket for Young Poets, selected by Bruno Navasky • Poems to Learn by Heart, edited by Caroline Kennedy • Read a Rhyme, Write a Rhyme, selected by Jack Prelutsky

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KNOW IT ALL { YOUR COMMUNITY CALENDAR }

OCTOBER 2015 THU 1 STATE FAIR OF TEXAS 10am–9pm Sun–Thu and 10am–10pm Fri–Sat Sep 25 through Oct 18. The State Fair of Texas celebrates all things Texan by promoting agriculture, education, and community involvement through quality entertainment in a family-friendly environment. Fair Park. 3809 Grand Ave, Dallas, TX 75210. 214-565-9931. For more information please visit bigtex.com.

DEAN FEARING TO SIGN HIS NEW BOOK 3-5pm. Dean Fearing, author of “The Texas Food Bible,” will sign books at the St. Michael Woman’s Exchange. 5 Highland Park Village. To reserve a copy, call 214521-3862 or stop by The Exchange. www. visitdallas.com.

AFTER DARK AT THE FARMERS MARKET 6pm. Market After Dark is Dallas Farmers Market’s official after-party, where you get the chance to shop artisan food vendors, eat from food trucks until you’re doubled-over, listen to the best live music. This happens every Thursday and this week is no different. Farmers Market, 1010 S. Pearl Exwy at 6 p.m. Thursday. More info at dallasfarmersmarket.org.

MUSIC THURSDAY: A TRIBUTE TO THE SONGS OF MICHAEL J. MARTIN 7-9pm. Singers and songwriters from across the country gather to present an evening of Michael J. Martin songs. Klyde Warren Park.

2012 Woodall Rodgers Freeway, Dallas. 214716-4500. www.klydewarrenpark.org.

FRI 2 GOODGUYS 23RD LONE STAR NATIONALS 8-5pm. Runs thru Oct 4. High banked hot rodding excitement returns to the Great American Speedway as Goodguys presents the 23rd Lone Star Nationals! It’s three big, Texas-sized days of motorsports excitement the whole family will enjoy! Check out 1972 &

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older hot rods, customs, muscle cars, trucks and classics on display! Visit website for ticket purchase. Texas Motor Speedway, 3545 Lone Star Circle, Fort Worth. www.good-guys.com.

MONTHLY KIRTAN MUSIC JAM 7-8pm. Runs 1st fri. each month. Join us the first Friday of each month at Atma Bhakti Yoga Center for kirtan or musical meditation. If you play any musical instruments please bring them. Bring your voice,and an open heart and come sing with us! For more info please visit www.facebook.com/ atmabhaktiyogacenter.

FANCY NANCY – THE MUSICAL 7:30pm Fri; 1:30 and 4:30pm Sat and Sun. Through Oct 25. Based on the book series by Jane O’Connor. Parlez-vous francais? Well, Nancy does because it’s fancy!

But her refined etiquette is not enough to get her the lead role in the upcoming school play. The Mermaid Ballet, complete with a scene-stealing dancing shark, will have your spirit dancing and make your children hysterically happy. Dallas Children’s Theater. 5938 Skillman St, Dallas, TX 75231.

214-740-0051. For more information please visit dct.org.

TWICE AS NICE CONSIGNMENT SALE 8:30-12:30pm. Our multiples make this sale twice as nice with double the selection!

Over 20,000 BARELY/gently used, quality finds for infants, toddlers, kids, pre-teens & juniors! Richardson Civic Center 411 W. Arapaho Rd., Richardson

2ND ANNUAL HOLISTIC HEALTH EXPO 9:30-5pm. Learn holistic approaches for clearing physical and mental spaces. Enjoy natural foods, comforting massages, acupuncture and more. Explore products to help rejuvenate the body, mind and soul. Unity Church on Greenville. 3425 Greenville Ave, Dallas.

For more information please visit the website. lakewood.bubblelife.com/community.

COTTONWOOD ART FESTIVAL 10am. Runs Thru Oct 4. Cottonwood Art Festival is more than just the art. The festival also features top local bands performing the best in rock, country, jazz, blues, swing and folk. Check out the courtyard, sit in the shade by the lake, relax and enjoy the music. Cottonwood Park, Beltline at Cottonwood, Richardson.

GUN FIGHTS AT THE VILLAGE

SCREAMS 2015 7:30pm -1:30am. Runs Fri & Sat thru Oct 31.

The ultimate Halloween experience with three Haunted Houses -- the all new Castle of the Doomed, the Ghoulish Graveyard and the CarnEvil Clown Maze. Plus, there is live entertainment on the Screams stage, games of skill, human powered rides, shops, a food court. Not recommended for children younger than 10. 2511 FM 66, Waxahachie / www.screamspark.com.

SAT 3 TAI CHI WITH EL CENTRO COLLEGE 8-9am. RELAX. Breathe. Move! Join us for FREE Tai Chi classes in the park. Wear loose, comfortable clothing and gym shoes.

Repeating on every Saturday. Ginsburg Family Great Lawn. 2012 Woodall Rodgers Freeway, Dallas. 214-716-4500. www. klydewarrenpark.org.

12pm & 1pm. Runs Oct 17th. Witness early Dallas law and order, settler style, on the Village’s Main Street. Performed by the Trinity River Desperados, visitors will get a firsthand view of the “Wild West” when a mild disagreement turns into a gun fight on Main Street. After the gun fight, visit with members of the Trinity River Desperados.

You’ll want to be on the lookout for these desperados! Dallas Heritage Village, 1515 S. Harwood St., Dallas 214-413-3669

SUN 4 BACK TO SCHOOL SUPER SATURDAY & RESOURCE FAIR 9-12pm. This great family event will offer: FREE books FREE toothbrushes FREE health screenings: blood pressure, glucose, dental, student entertainment, drawing for an IPAD, bounce houses, FREE food and drinks, FREE school supplies, educational

demonstration tables and more! South Oak Cliff High School, 3601 S. Marsalis Ave., Dallas 972-925-3916

LIFEWALK 12pm. LifeWalk is a 3.2 mile walk/run through the beautiful Turtle Creek and Uptown area benefiting ALL individuals and families impacted annually by HIV/AIDS in North Texas. Bring your family, friends, pups and strollers! $40 to be a registered participant. Lee Park, 3333 Turtle Creek Blvd., Dallas. 214-521-5191. www.lifewalk.org.

COMEDY AND MAGIC SHOW 2pm. This is an interactive show designed to have you and your whole family laughing.

For ages 4 and older. Improv Comedy Club Addison. 4980 Belt Line Rd., Ste. 250 Dallas.

972-404-8501 www.addison.improv.com.

BIRTHDAYS GIVE BACK 3-4:30pm. The FIRST SUNDAY of each month we will provide an opportunity for children to bring his/her donation to Children’s Medical Center Dallas. The child will be recognized with a certificate of appreciation, water bottle with the BGB logo and have their picture taken! Your child will feel spectacular for a long time. I want every child to join the Birthday Club! Children’s Medical Center. 1935 Medical District, Dallas.

MON 5 FARYN’S FIT CAMP 5:30-6:30pm. FARYN’s FIT CAMP is a “boot camp” style class with a twist! You’ll get a rockin’ forever challenging workout that will include high pumping intervals of powerful cardio with tough CORE moves interspersed with tons of whole body resistance and strength work! Repeating on every Monday.

Ginsburg Family Great Lawn. 2012 Woodall Rodgers Freeway, Dallas. 214-716-4500. www.klydewarrenpark.org.

AUTUMN AT THE ARBORETUM 9-5pm. Runs thru Nov 25. The highlight of the festival is the nationally acclaimed Pumpkin Village, which is created with more than 75,000 pumpkins, gourds and squash by the talented horticulture team.

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KNOW IT ALL This year, to continue with the ongoing Texas theme, the display will be recreated into an Old Texas Town in the Pecan Grove. Dallas Arboretum, 8525 Garland Rd. Dallas 214-5156500. www.dallasarboretum.org.

nual gathering of Jellicle cats at which time one special cat is selected to ascend to the Heaviside layer. All Ages. Plano Children’s Theatre, 1301 Custer Rd., Suite 706, Plano www.planochildrenstheatre.org

TUE 6

HOLOCAUST BY BULLETS

STROLLER BOOT CAMP 9:30-10:15am. Make it a play date with T. Boone Pickens YMCA! Spend quality time with your little one and get a great workout.

Bring a stroller, mat, and water bottle. Repeating every Tuesday. Ginsburg Family Great Lawn. 2012 Woodall Rodgers Freeway, Dallas.

214-716-4500. www.klydewarrenpark.org.

MUSIC AND STORIES WITH KIDSWORKS 10:30-11:30am. Cute stories and fun tunes for little ones presented by Miss Kimberly.

The Dallas Morning News Reading & Games Room. Repeating every Tuesday. Ginsburg Family Great Lawn. 2012 Woodall Rodgers Freeway, Dallas. 214-716-4500. www. klydewarrenpark.org.

WED 7 FLIGHT SCHOOL FOR PRESCHOOLERS 10:30-11:20am. We will learn and experiment about the four different forces of flight. To demonstrate what we learn we will make our very own flying tool! Recommended for children ages 3-5. Registration is required. Central Library, 2nd Floor Children’s Center Kahn Pavilion, 1515 Young St., Dallas 214-670-1671.

ZUMBA 6-7pm. Try one of our weekly Zumba classes presented by the YMCA of Dallas. It’s a fun, upbeat way to get up and moving! Repeating every Wednesday. Ginsburg Family Great Lawn. 2012 Woodall Rodgers Freeway, Dallas. 214-716-4500. www.klydewarrenpark.org.

SUNSET SESSIONS IN THE PARK: THE ROOMSOUNDS 6-8pm. Head over to The Shops at Park Lane every Wednesday this October for Sunset Sessions in The Park, a new outdoor concert series. Enjoy FREE music from a variety of local artists. Grab a spot on the lawn or relax and dine on one of the patios overlooking the stage while you watch the sun go down to the sounds of some of Dallas-Fort Worth’s best musical acts. Concerts take place from 6-8 p.m. Weather permitting. The Park at The Shops at Park Lane. 8020 Park Lane, Dallas.

THU 8 7pm. Runs thru Oct. 10th. Based on the universally popular poetry of T.S. Eliot, CATS tells the story, in song and dance, of the andallas parent

FRI 9 DOZE WITH THE DINOSAURS SLEEPOVERS 7pm-8am. Go behind the scenes with after-hours access to intriguing exhibits, exclusive demonstrations and hands-on discovery — with a late-night snack, 3D movie and light breakfast to round out the experience! Register yourself and your child today for the opportunity to proudly proclaim “I Dozed with the Dinosaurs.!” Perot Museum of Nature & Science, 2201 N. Field St., Dallas 214-428-5555 www.perotmuseum.org.

LONE STAR HISTORY DAY: A HOME-SCHOOL EVENT 10-3pm. (For home-schooled children) Online discount tickets through Tuesday, October 6: $5/children and $5/adult. Regular admission rates will apply at the gate. Throughout history there have been many different types of teachers, classrooms, and tools for teaching. Come with us on a learning journey to different schools – from dirt floors and prairies to wood and brick buildings of higher learning. Experience different types of teaching devices and teaching styles, all with the same goal of teaching America’s youth!

Dallas Heritage Village. 1515 S. Harwood St. Dallas. www.dallasheritagevillage.org.

ARMENIAFEST 5-10pm. Runs thru Sun. Oct 11th. An opportunity for children to get a hands-on experience about a different culture while having fun! You will find plenty of outdoor games and activities available for our young visitors and older ones too!! Spend a day with your family viewing beautiful handcrafts or idling through the exhibits that capture the fascinating history of Armenians. Take time to learn about the unique Armenian alphabet that was invented in 404 A.D. and used in the earliest translations of the Bible. 1805 Random Rd., Carrollton 972-245-6995 www.armeniafest.com

SAT 10

CATS

18

9:30-5pm. Runs daily thru Dec. 31st. The exhibit chronicles the lesser-known side of the Holocaust in which more than 2 million Jews were gunned down and left in unmarked mass graves across Ukraine, Belarus and Russia. Dallas Holocaust Museum, 211 N. Record St., Dallas 214-741-7500 www.dallasholocaustmuseum.org

RED RIVER SHOWDOWN More than 100,000 people travel to the State Fair for the AT&T Red River Showdown game

between the Oklahoma Sooners and the Texas Longhorns. The game, played in Cotton Bowl Stadium since 1929, is an iconic staple of the State Fair. Cotton Bowl Stadium, 3750 The Midway, Dallas. 214-565-9931. For more information please visit website. bigtex.com.

THE MARKETPLACE DFWMESQUITE 9-2pm. The MarketPlace will be featuring Produce/Growers, Artisans, Merchants, Craftsmen & Culinary Goods! Downtown Square Mesquite. www.themarketplacedfw.com.

FALL FLY DAYS AND CAR SHOW 10-5pm. Runs thru Sun Oct 11th. A fall festival featuring the opportunity for guests to ride in Cavanaugh’s famed collection of vintage aircraft and military vehicles. Families will enjoy the carnival-like atmosphere featuring games and activities for the kids, Sherman tank demonstrations, concessions, aircraft tours and unique photo opportunities with the aircraft that are not normally available for viewing. The museum will host the Pontiac Southern Nationals Car Show featuring some of the finest Pontiac muscle cars in the Metro-plex. Cavanaugh Flight Museum, 4572 Claire Chennault St., Addison 972-380-8880 www.cavanaughflightmuseum.com

HAUNTED CAMP OUT - 2015 3pm-11am. Join us for a spooky good time for the Haunted Camp Out. We’ll have pumpkin carving, tent decorating, a costume contest, tent-or-treating, camp fire and scary stories, plus a few surprises along the way. The cost is $30 for a family of 4, with each additional family member costing $5 each. Included in the cost is a hot dog dinner on Saturday and breakfast on Sunday morning. Camp Rorie Galloway. 3100 Lawson Rd, Mesquite. 972216-6260. For more information please visit the website. www.cityofmesquite.com

SUN 11 OAK CLIFF LIVELY FEST 2pm. Family-friendly event bringing together people of all ages and ethnic backgrounds to celebrate the arts, music and diversity of the City of Dallas and more specifically Oak Cliff. The festival includes world music, food, vendors and live art. Go here for updates on performers and activities www.facebook. com/DFWLivelyFest. Bishop Arts District, W. Davis & North, Dallas.

MON 12 ART BABIES: GLOW BABY 10-11am. Children 0-24 months old and their caregivers. Join us in the galleries for songs and story time, followed by play time and an opportunity to mingle with other parents and caregivers. Dallas Museum of Art, 1717 N. Harwood St., Dallas.

OCTOBER 2015 Don’t forget to tell our advertisers you saw them in Dallas Parent!

TUE 13 THE WOMEN’S CHORUS OF DALLAS CONCERT 7:30pm. The Women’s Chorus of Dallas promotes the strength, diversity and empowerment of women by performing high quality music to entertain, inspire and serve the community. Concert is free and open to the public. Latino Cultural Center, 2600 Live Oak St., Dallas

WED 14 SUNSET SESSIONS IN THE PARK 6-8pm. Grab a spot on the lawn or relax and dine on one of the patios overlooking the stage while you watch the sun go down to the sounds of some of Dallas-Fort Worth’s best musical acts. This is a free event open to the public. The Shops at Park Lane, 8080 Park Lane, Dallas 214-365-0222

THU 15 CHRISTMAS IN COWTOWN HOLIDAY GIFT MARKET 11-8pm. Runs thru Oct 17. Come shop from our wide range of merchants while knowing you’re making a positive impact on your local community. We look forward to seeing you in October! Event will also run Friday & Saturday. See website for ticket purchase. Will Rogers Memorial Center, 3401 W. Lancaster Ave., Fort Worth www.juniorleaguefw.org.

FRI 16 THE GHOST OF SLEEPY HOLLOW 7:30pm. Runs Fri., Sat & Sun thru Oct.30th.

Travel deep into the haunting woods of Sleepy Hollow and see why the terrifying tales of Washington Irving have been favorites for fireside spookfests for over a hundred years.

Dallas Children’s Theater, 5938 Skillman St., Dallas 214-978-0110 www.dct.org

CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG 7:30pm. Runs Fri & Sat thru Oct 31st. based on the beloved 1968 film version of Ian Fleming’s children’s book, and features an unforgettable score by the Sherman Brothers, CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG is a classic for the whole family that audiences will find “Truly Scrumptious.” Cedar Valley College, 3030 N. Dallas Ave., Lancaster 972-8608201 www.dearvalleycollege.edu

SAT 17 CELINA BALLOON FESTIVAL 7am-11pm. Runs thru Oct 18. Watch and be amazed as colorful balloons fill the sky at the Celina Balloon Festival. The fest also includes carnival rides & games, giant inflatables, hamster balls for humans, a 200 ft zip

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HIGHLAND PARK LIBRARY

4700 Drexel Dr. • 214-559-9400 line, dog adoptions, 100+ vendors, live music and fireworks on Saturday. Old Celina Park, 12670 Farm to Market 428, Celina.

33RD KOMEN DALLAS RACE FOR THE CURE 8am. This annual 1K and 5K fundraising walk/ run is one of the most highly anticipated events of the year. The Race will raise funds, increase awareness, and educate people about breast health, as well as recognize and celebrate breast cancer survivorship with the powerful Survivor March. North Park Center, 8687 N. Central Expy., Dallas www.komen-dallas.org.

PUMPKINFEST - 2015 10-8pm. Join us for the 15th annual PumpkinFest with a haunted house, decorated pumpkin contest, carnival games, bounce houses, petting zoo and community stage performances. The event is free to enter.

Wristbands and tickets will be sold for kid’s activities such as bounce houses, pony rides, petting zoo, video game truck and more. Be sure to join us for the dog costume contest at 3 p.m. and the children’s costume contest at 4 p.m. City Lake. 200 Parkview Ln, Mesquite.

972-216-6260. www.cityofmesquite.com

2015 TEXAS VEGGIE FAIR 11-6pm. Celebrating plant-based lifestyle options of every kind. The fair features food, guest speakers, live music, clothing, housewares, veggies, beer garden, chef demos, kid activities, yoga and more. This is a dog-friendly event. Reverchon Park, 3505 Maple Ave., Dallas www.texasveggiefair.com.

KIDZ LIVE - YOUTH DANCE OFF EVENT 1-2pm. A FREE Youth DANCE•FITNESS event for kids of all ages. It doesn’t matter what you wear, your size, shape, or even if you don’t have dance experience. Kids can come out to stretch, squat, jump, turn, hop, twist, kick, dance and play games to the coolest music of their choice! Bring your kiddos, water and come have fun! Parents, you are encouraged

to join in to show off your best exercise moves! Children’s Park. 2012 Woodall Rodgers Freeway, Dallas. 214-716-4500. www. klydewarrenpark.org.

PARK CITIES FESTIVAL 1:30-5:30pm. This free event features fun for the whole family! The festival will showcase local musicians and performing artist groups from Park Cities School of Music and other local organizations. Families will be able to explore showcases of local businesses and services like the Photo Van, an interactive photo opportunity on wheels. Kids and kids at heart will enjoy the illusions of magicians, find a new identify via face painting or take home a new friend hand crafted from balloons. Advance ER – Park Cities, 5201 W. Lovers Ln., Dallas 214-238-6440 www,parkcitiesfestival.com

HALLOWEEN AT THE HEARD 6-10pm. Experience Collin County’s premier family-friendly Halloween event! Kids will trickor-treat on the Dinosaurs Live! exhibit trail.

Watch a family-friendly movie under the stars in the amphitheater. Stroll through the “Haunted Forest,” participate in a costume contest (for kids ages 12 & under), and more! Heard Natural Science Museum & Wildlife Sanctuary, 1 Nature Place, McKinney. 972-562-5566 www.heardmuseum.org.

SUN 18 GLUTEN FREE & ALLERGEN FRIENDLY EXPO 10-4pm. Dedicated to meeting the needs of the celiac community, those with gluten and food sensitivities, auto-immune/inflammatory diseases, and autism. The public is helped through vendor expositions, educational sessions, and online resources. The manufacturers are serviced through vendor expositions, marketing programs, and consultative services. See website for ticket purchase.

Dallas Market Center, 2100 Stemmons Freeway, Dallas. www.gfafexpo.com/locations/ dallas-tx-2015.

Mon Fall Story Time 10:45am (ages 3.5-6) Thur Fall StoryTIme 1:30pm (ages 3.5-6)

UNIVERSITY PARK LIBRARY

8383 Preston Center Plaza, Suite 200 • 214-363-9095 Wed Story Time 3:45pm (ages 4 &-5) Thur Toddlers Story Time 10:45am (ages 18-24mos.)

Fri Story Time for 4&5 yr-olds 3:45pm

RENNER FRANKFORD BRANCH

6400 Frankford Road • 214-670-6100 Tue Tales for Tots 10:15am (ages 3-5) Wed Baby Bounce 11:15am (infants & toddlers)

BOOKMARKS (at North Park Mall)

8687 N. Central Expressway, Suite 1514 • 214-671-1381 Mon Mon Wed Thur Thur Fri Fri

NorthCourt - Baby Bounce Basics 10:30am (up to 24 mos.)

Inside Bookmarks - Baby Bounce Basics 12:30pm (up to 24 mos.)

Inside Bookmarks - Wiggly, Waggly Words 3:30pm (preschoolers) NorthCourt - Tickles for Toddlers 10:30am & 3:30pm (2 & 3 year olds) Inside Bookmarks – Baby Bounce Basics , 12:30pm (up to 24 mos.)

Inside Bookmarks - Baby Bounce Basics 12:30pm (up to 24 mos.)

Inside Bookmarks – Preschool Palooza - 3:30pm (ages 2-4)

LAKEWOOD BRANCH LIBRARY 6121 Worth Street • 214-670-1376

Wed Boogie Woogie Books 10:30am (ages 6 & under)

AUDELIA ROAD BRANCH LIBRARY 10045 Audelia Road • 214-670-1350

Thur Boogie Woogie Books 10:30am (ages 2-6) Wed Toddler Story Time 10:30am (ages 2-4)

MESQUITE MAIN BRANCH

300 W. Grubb Dr. • 972-216-6220 Tues Preschool Story Time 10:30am (ages 3-5); Evening Story Time 7pm (all ages) Wed Young & Restless Story Time 10:30am (13mo -2yrs) Thur Toddler Story Time 10:30am (ages 18mo-3yrs)

MESQUITE NORTH BRANCH 2600 Oates Dr., 972-681-0465

Tue Preschool Story Time 10:30am (ages 3-5) Thur Toddler Time 10:30am (ages 18mo-3yrs)

All Storytimes are FREE. Listed are the regularly scheduled storytimes.

Call to confirm as schedules are subject to change.

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OCTOBER 2015 dallas parent

19

KNOW IT ALL WELLNESS EXPO IN ADDISON 11-4pm. Over 100 exhibits featuring products and services to enhance your body, mind and spirit. Shop for breakthrough nutritional products, energized jewelry & stones and experience bodywork, Reiki, reflexology & intuitive readings. Lecture series includes 24 talks on Treating the Common Symptoms of Heart Stress, Sleep Apnea, Natural Beauty & Pain Relief, and Medical Intuition. See website for ticket purchase. Addison Conference Centre, 15650 Addison Rd., Addison www.eventbrite. com/e/wellness-expo-in-addison-october-17-18-tickets-16530115019.

EXPERIENCE THE MACABRE JUST IN TIME FOR HALLOWEEN! 7:30 pm. Runs thru Fri, Sat, & Sun thru Oct. 27th. Be afraid! Dallas Children’s Theater (DCT) presents a spine-tingling collection of horror masterpieces and surprises brought to life by an all-teen cast from the works of Edgar Allan Poe, W. W. Jacobs, and our own Texas ghostlore. Things do go bump in the night! Experience GHOULS & GRAVEYARDS performed by DCT’s Teen Scene Players. DCT’s Rosewood Center for Family Arts. 5938 Skillman St, Dallas. 214-7400051. www.dct.org.

MON 19 THRILLVANIA Runs thru Oct 31st. Thrillvania is the most decorated haunted attraction in the United States. Come check out The world famous Verdun Manor, or maybe Cassandra’s Labrinth of Terror. Check website for exact dates, times and ticket prices. Thrillvania Thrill Park, Interstate 20 & Willson Rd., Terrell www.thrillvania.com

TUE 20 DALLAS FARMER’S MARKET 7-6pm. Runs daily. It’s always a great day to go to the market. Local farmers display fresh produce, herbs, plants etc. Dallas Farmer’s Market, 1010 S. Pearl St., Dallas

THU 22

be called “The 80s. Dallas Arboretum, 8525 Garland Rd., Dallas 214-515-6500 www.dallasarboretum.org

SUN 25

THU 29

ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUCKS: LIVE ON STAGE!

THURSDAY NIGHT LIVE AT DALLAS MUSEUM OF ART

FRI 23

1pm. A brand new, music-filled interactive live show featuring the Chipmunks and Chipettes, America’s favorite animated music group. The show will bring the music and excitement of a live rock concert to life as the Chipmunks perform hit music. Visit website to purchase tickets. Verizon Theatre at Grand Prairie, 1001 Performance Pl., Grand Praire www.axs.com.

5-9pm. Runs every Thur. Live jazz music.

Cocktails and dinner. Artful conversations. Activities in the Center for Creative Connections and more. Included in general admission to the Museum. Free for students and educators with a current school ID. Dallas Museum of Art, 1717 N. Harwood, Dallas www.dma.org

GREATER NORTH TEXAS TEAM HOPE WALK!

FRI 30

BOO AT THE ZOO 10-5pm. Runs thru Oct 25. The Fort Worth Zoo’s family friendly Halloween celebration is a zoo-wide event, offering guests 64 acres of Halloween fun with all-day. Fort Worth Zoo, 1989 Colonial Pkwy, Fort Worth www.fortworthzoo.org.

SAT 24 2ND ANNUAL BABY & KIDZ EXPO 10-5pm. Affordable family fun with family friendly vendors, parent resources, entertainment , activities, prizes and more. Adults $10, 65+ and Military $5, kids 12 & under free. Dallas Market Hall, 2200 N. Stemmons Frwy, Dallas See ad in this issue.

BALANCE AND HARMONY WITH DOGFIT DALLAS 10:30-11:30am. Wouldn’t it be nice to live in a world where you and your dog experience balance and harmony? Join Art Ortiz of DogFit Dallas every fourth Saturday as he helps you create the relationship you’ve always wanted with your dog. East Lawn.

2012 Woodall Rodgers Freeway, Dallas.

214-716-4500. www.klydewarrenpark.org.

1pm. Join us for a fun-filled afternoon!

DJ, photo booth, face painting, games, lemonade stand, “kissing” booth, Walk-AHuman booth, Jade The Goat and more!

Halloween costumes are encouraged for dogs and their owners. Prizes for Top 5 Fundraisers and Top 3 Dog Costumes. Les Lacs Park. 3901 Beltway Dr, Addison. 904806-0389. www.hdsa.org.

MON 26 HALLOWEEN MONSTER MOLEULE MIST LAB 11-3pm. Runs daily thru Nov. 1st. Join us in making a putrid potion of magical matter that shifts from a solid into a gas. You may know it as dry ice, but we call it monster molecule mist. Dallas Arboretum-Rory Myers Childrens’ Garden The Exploration Center Plant Lab, 8525 Garland Rd., Dallas www.dallasarboretum.org

TRINITY RIVER WIND FESTIVAL 11-5pm. Bring your kite or watch others for this Public Kite Flying Show. We will have Shows and Stunt Kites, City of Dallas Kite Giveaway; Paper Airplane Making and Pet Water Station and more. 146 Commerce St., Dallas. www.trinityrivercorridor.com.

IT’S PARTY!! - THIRD ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION 12-5pm. We’re having a party and everyone’s invited to celebrate the third Anniversary Celebration of the Park. Ginsburg Family Great Lawn. 2012 Woodall Rodgers Freeway, Dallas. 214-716-4500. www. klydewarrenpark.org.

COOL THURSDAY CONCERT SERIES

INSTRUMENT PETTING ZOO WITH SCHOOL OF ROCK

7pm. They are the World’s Greatest 80s Experience. Hailing from Sheffield, England, this legendary quintet has been able to combine their individual and very formidable talents to create the true essence of the most radical decade to ever

3-4pm. School of Rock will bring a variety of the instruments to the park, giving you a chance to try it all. Ginsburg Family Great Lawn. 2012 Woodall Rodgers Freeway, Dallas. 214-716-4500. www.klydewarrenpark.org.

TUE 27 OTSUKIMI MOON VIEWING CELEBRATION 7-10pm. Celebrate the full autumn moon with an outdoor picnic, calligraphy and ikebana demonstrations, and haiku poetry. Enjoy a variety of Japanese music and dance performances, along with sky-gazing and moon activities with the Perot Museum of Nature and Science and a rabbit petting zoo with The Bunny Burrow Rabbit Rescue. Klyde Warren Park, 2012 Woodall Rodgers Frwy, Dallas.

FUN ON THE FARM 10:30-12pm. Runs weekly on Friday. Take a tour of our Farmstead - different themes each week! Also includes tractor ride & interactive fun in our NEW ‘History House.

Heritage Farmstead Museum, 1900 W. 15th St., Plano www.heritagefarmstead.org

SAT 31 FALL FESTIVAL AT PRESTONWOOD 4-8pm Rain or Shine. Come for a safe community event with food trucks, adventure train, free candy, outrageous inflatables, face painting, game booths and more. 12123 Hillcrest Rd, Dallas 972-820-5000 prestonwood.org/fallfestival. See ad in this issue.

MONSTER DASH HALF MARATHON, 10K, 5K AND 5K YOUTH 6am. A healthy way to celebrate Halloween together at North Texas’ premier costumer race. All distances get the full zip Monster Dash performance jacket. All Half-Marathoners will receive a finisher’s stained-glass medal. 10K and 5K runners get a stainedglass finisher’s medal. Wear your funny and creative costumes to run in during the race and you could win a fabulous prize.

Costume judging will happen after the race.

Panther Island Pavilion, 395 Purcey St., Fort Worth 469-233-4243. www.dfwmonster.org.

SAVE THE DATE…

WED 28

NOV 7

KINDERGARTEN ADMISSION PREVIEW AT LAKEHILL PREPARATORY SCHOOL

FESTIVAL AT THE SWITCHYARD

9:30-11:30am. Join us for the Lower School Preview. 2720 Hillside Dr., Dallas 214-826-2931, www.lakehillprep.org. See ad in this issue.

11am -10pm. Free concerts, rides & games, children’s entertainment and more.

Featuring 3 Doors Down with Fastball. Rain or shine. Historic Downtown Carrollton Carrolltonfestival.com. See ad in this issue.

Please note: Although we strive to bring you the most current information available regarding event dates and times, confirming with the event venue before going is always a good idea.

20

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OCTOBER 2015 Don’t forget to tell our advertisers you saw them in Dallas Parent!

FUN STUFF

Source: guy-sports.com/humor

{ LIFE IS BETTER WHEN YOU’RE LAUGHING }

WHY DON’T SKELETONS LIKE PARTIES?

WHAT’S THE RATIO OF A PUMPKIN’S CIRCUMFERENCE TO ITS DIAMETER?

THEY HAVE NO BODY TO DANCE WITH.

PUMPKIN PI (3.1428571428571428571428571428571)

WHAT WAS A WITCH’S FAVORITE SUBJECT WHEN THEY WERE IN SCHOOL?

MAY YOUR WALLS KNOW JOY, MAY EVERY ROOM HOLD LAUGHTER, AND EVERY WINDOW OPEN TO GREAT POSSIBILITY. — MARY ANNE RADMACHER

LOL WITH JAMES ESTES!

.com aginationtree Photo: theim

SPELLING!

Decorate for Autumn with Spin Art We know our kids love to display their art. So let them bring some seasonal warmth and color inside with this Spin Art activity.

THESE ARE THE SIMPLE STEPS: • Cut some leaf shapes from card and invite your children to color and decorate them using oil pastels, crayons, pens or pencils (or a combination of them all) • Attach to the inside basket of a salad spinner using a blob of blu-tac • Squirt paint and glitter glue onto the card • Spin really fast (a great gross motor development skill!)

• Add more colors of paint and glitter, then re-spin, to create a build-up of overlapping layers • When dry, sew through the leaves using a needle and thread, taping the back of each leaf to keep them in place on the garland • Hang up and admire!

GOTTA LOVE ‘EM My son (4 years) was sitting with us at the table coloring while his Grampa was talking about problems with his ear. My son said, “what’s wrong Grampa?” He replied, “my ear is ringing and I don’t know what to do.”

Without even looking up, my son replied, “I would just answer it!”

— PAM, MOM OF 4

SUBMIT YOUR FUNNY STORY: editor@suburbanparent.com, subject “Funny”

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21

BACKTALK { BY KEN SWARNER }

A REALLY FRIGHTENING COSTUME

T

his Halloween, my wife and I are dressing up as the scariest,

of us to pass the bean dip, my wife or I will reply: “Why do I have to do

most dreadful, bone chilling things that we can think of to be.

EVERYTHING around here?”

We are going to a costume party as... Teenagers.

It makes my blood curl just to think about it.

If another guest tells me to watch out for ice walking to my car, I’ll shout “Stop treating me like a baby!”

And if the hostess politely

We already have our costumes picked out for the event. For starters,

informs my wife that

my wife plans to raid her own wardrobe without asking - wearing her

she needs to move

own clothes and jewelry for a costume because that’s what a teenage

our car because

daughter would do. She’ll even lose an earring at the party then

it’s blocking

flippantly say the next morning: “I put the

someone’s way,

earrings back last night – someone must have taken one in the middle

she’ll yell “When

of the night. GOSH!”

I’m a grown up, I’ll never treat

Me – I’ll buy a trendy outfit

MY guests this

at the store then throw the new

way!”

clothes on my floor – stepping

The rest of

on them for a few days before

the time, we’ll only

picking them up and putting

answer questions

them on my body. I also won’t

with the words “fine” and

bathe for a week. But, when

“whatever.”

people ask when was the

“Ken, you’re looking good.”

last time I took a shower, I’ll say:

“Whatever.”

“Yesterday – jeez. Get off my back!”

My wife also plans to look mortified the entire time as if

My wife will not only shower for the party, she’ll also hog the bathroom from 9 a.m. until we leave at 6 p.m. I’ll bang on the bathroom door from time

every adult in the room is invading her privacy. I’ll slump on the couch and stuff 24 potato chips into my mouth and then talk with my mouth open: “Whabbever.”

Finally, before we leave our house for the party, and to

to time to add just the right amount of tension to the day. When I do finally

set a good example for our own children, my wife and I will

get in, I’ll shave but leave one whisker

promise to stay sober, fasten our seat belts, abstain from

on my chin – which I will circle with a

sex, call if we’ll be late, mind our P’s and Q’s, and be home

highlighter pen so no one will miss it.

before curfew.

If everything goes well and our costumes are as perfect

We’ve also been practicing how

22

we will move and act at the party –

as planned, the children will worry constantly and won’t be

especially what we will say to people.

able to sleep a wink until my wife and I get home. That’s all

For example, when someone asks one

the prize I’ll need!

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