Fruit

BIZZLE & SCHIVONNE #R G elationship

oals

TRE9 & AMANDA

PRODUCEFRUIT.ORG/DONATE CALVIN & KIM

COMMUNITY RESOURCES LOCAL FLAVOR

LOCAL FLAVOR - COMMUNITY RESOURCES

IF YOU DON’T FIND WHAT YOU NEED HERE CONTACT US AND WE WILL DO OUR BEST TO HELP YOU! PRODUCEFRUIT.ORG - TSWIGART@GMAIL.COM - P.O. BOX 580668, HOUSTON, TX 77258

DRUG / ALCOHOL ABUSE

SPECIAL INTERESTS

>ALANON / ALATEEN For friends and family of drug/alcohol abusers.

Website: houstonalanon.org

SPIRITUAL GROWTH

>ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS Phone: 713-686-6300 Website: aahouston.org

MENTAL / PHYSICAL HEALTH

>BELTWAY 8 SOUTH CRISIS PREGNANCY CENTER The center provides free and confidential support services for those involved in unplanned pregnancies. They also provide classes in prenatal care, delivery, and parenting.

Phone: 281-484-0005 Website: lifelinecpc.org >CRISIS INTERVENTION OF HOUSTON TeenLine: 713-529-TEEN is a 24-hour crisis hotline for teens to talk about their problems with other teens who are trained to help. >NATIONAL LIFE CENTER The center provides free services and support to any girl who is or may be pregnant.

Phone: 1-800-848-5683 >FREE THE CAPTIVES Free the Captives helps teenaged girls who have been involved in sex trafficking, prostitution, and stripping. We help girls rebuild their lives by providing jobs, mentoring, tutoring, groceries, furniture, spiritual support and more.

Website: FreeTheCaptivesHouston.com Phone: 281-901-0794 >MHMRA OF HARRIS COUNTY If you are in a psychiatric emergency or need information, please call 24 hours a day.

Phone: 713-970-7000 >NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE No matter what problems you are dealing with, they want to help you find a reason to keep living. You’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Phone: 1-800-273-8255 Website: suicidepreventionlifeline.org >TRIAD PREVENTION PROGRAM TRIAD provides countywide prevention and early intervention services to divert youth and families from involvement with the CPS, mental health, and/or juvenile justice systems.

Phone: 713-295-2500 >UNITED WAY HELP LINE 2-1-1 Texas/United Way Helpline is 24 hours a day in many languages. They have extensive resource lists for help with food, shelter, counseling, parenting resources.

Phone: 211

>HOUSTON PUBLIC LIBRARIES Get access to Internet, books, CDs, DVDs, and homework help.

Website: houstonlibrary.org

>ELEVATE CHURCH Each week Elevate Church shares energetic worship and an inspiring message from Lead Pastor, Brandon Barber. There is no dress code. They believe God cares more about the condition of your heart than your outward appearance. They know you will feel right at home.

Services are Sundays at 10am and 12pm.

Website: elevatepeople.tv Location: 333 South Jensen Dr, Houston, TX. 77003 >EYES ON ME, INCORPORATED Vision: Eyes On Me Inc. is committed to creating a positive environment using Biblical principles and standards to shape youth culture for lifelong success and stability in the world. Check out their website to see all they are doing and to find a Hip Hop Hope night in your area!

Website: eyesonmeinc.com >NGEN RADIO NGEN radio is YOUR music experience. Playing the best in today’s hit music from artists like Lecrae, TobyMac, Skillet, Switchfoot, and so many more. You can listen online or on your phone: NGENradio.com or live at: 89.3 KSBJ HD-2 (Houston), 92.5 KWUP HD-2 (Bryan/College Station), 93.1 FM (Bryan/College Station). >SPECIAL YOUTH SERVICES The Department of Special Youth Services provides pastoral care to youth remanded to juvenile justice centers and placement facilities within the Archdiocese of Galveston/Houston. Special Youth Services also promotes and coordinates pastoral services to youth and their families who are at a high risk of becoming involved with the juvenile justice system.

Ms. Franchelle Lee, Director: 713-741-8739 Deacon Daniel Gilbert, Pastoral Minister: 713-320-1915 >YOUTH FOR CHRIST Youth For Christ seeks to engage youth in a variety of programing from Bible studies to mentoring.

Website: yfchouston.org Contact: 832-326-3202, brichardson@yfcmail.org *Youth For Christ is in many cities and juvenile facilities across the United States. To find a YFC near you visit: WWW.YFC.NET

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EDITORIAL

FRUIT. ISSUE 19

Editor in Chief: Tera Swigart

CONTRIBUTORS

Contributing Editors: Kay Guerrero, Barbara Howard, Richard Howard, Louis Skipper Contributing Writers: Carolyn Brehm, Sam Glass, James Odom, Barrell Richardson, Tera Swigart

ART Tera Swigart Editor-In-Chief producefruit.org

Carolyn Brehm

Barrell Richardson

Julie Waters

Book & Music Reviews producefruit.org

Columnist: Fruit of the Vine yfchouston.org

Columnist: Hey Ladies freethecaptiveshouston.org

Graphic Design: Chad Swigart, Tera Swigart, Carolyn Brehm

CREATIVE TEAM Carolyn Brehm, Canon, Alex Mathew, Andrea Mathew, James Odom, Barrell Richardson, Louis Skipper, Chad Swigart, Tera Swigart, Julie Waters

PUBLISHER James Odom Columnist: Gangs 2 Glory alternativebehavior.org

Canon Creative Team

Christian Hip Hop

getthecanon.com

Chad Swigart

Andrea Mathew

Graphic & Web Design chadswigart.com

Creative Team yfckc.org

Alex Mathew

Kay Guerrero

Barbara Howard

Richard Howard

Creative Team

Editor

Editor

Editor

yfckc.org

FRUIT. Magazine is a publication of Freestyle Ministries, a non-profit 501(c)3 whose mission is to educate, equip, and inspire youth in high-risk situations to overcome significant challenges and use their God-given gifts and talents to create change in their generation.

CONTACT Freestyle Ministries, Inc. FRUIT. Magazine P.O. Box 580668 Houston, TX 77258 E-Mail: tswigart@gmail.com Phone: 832-423-3126

Web Address: producefruit.org

FOLLOW US Katharyn Pimpo Editor

Louis Skipper Editor

FRUIT.magazine fruitmagazinefsm 1

ISSUE 19 - CONTENTS 4

FEATURE: #RelationshipGoals Bizzle & Schvionne, Tre9 & Amanda, Calvin & Kim

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FEATURED ARTIST: Tre9

INBOX: insight from adult inmates

FRUIT OF THE VINE: God is love

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FRESH PICKS: music & books

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HEY LADIES: when to leave...

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GANGS TO GLORY: get out

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CLEAN LIVING: numb: xanax

NUMB

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PRODUCE: art & writing

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR: We are excited to bring you issue 19 of FRUIT. Magazine. This issue is all about relationships. We know relationships are not always easy and it can sometimes be difficult to figure out who to date, when to break up, and how to navigate all of the desires to have someone in your life that has your back and loves you no matter what, with the desire to please God. In this issue we introduce you to some people who have great relationships for you to learn from. We also share with you what GOD has to say about love. We want you to break out of relationships that drag you down so that you can rise above your circumstances and have a life that is fullfiling, exciting, and that has less regrets.

If you need prayer for anything, please don’t hesitate to write us. We will respond and we have a team of people who will be praying for you, your family, your friends, or whatever it is you need prayer for.

Also, DON’T forget to check out our Art and Writing contests for 2019!

- Tera Swigart

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WHY I STARTED F RU I T. M A G A Z I N E TERA SWIGART

I

just wanted to take a minute to tell you why I started FRUIT. magazine. As a teenager, I witnessed many of my friends struggle with depression, loneliness, and anger. Many of them had serious issues at home with absent, abusive, or

drug/alcohol addicted parents. I saw them (and sometimes myself) turn to drugs, gangs, sex, running away from home, cutting, etc. to deal with these feelings and problems. I still have countless letters from friends who grew up in juvenile facilities and group homes - missing dances, friendships, family, and freedom. I witnessed broken-hearted family and friends at way too many funerals for people who died way too young due to drug overdoses, drunk driving, gang violence, and suicides. It was surreal. In the midst of all this turmoil, I was lucky to have two amazing parents who prayed for me and my friends, welcomed them into our home, and taught me to seek God during those times. I still made lots of mistakes, but I had a solid foundation to go back to.

When I was 19 years old, I lost one of my best friends. We had been close since we were six years old, playing together at school and home. We grew up together. He spent a lot of time “locked up� and was finally out and I thought the worst was over, but then he died of a drug overdose. I was devastated. I was done. One day, while I was walking and praying, I told God that I just wanted to be free from the hurt. I told Him I was tired of being angry at Him and that I wanted Him to clean me from all those ugly feelings. At that very moment it started raining! It was overcast and you may call it coincidence but in my heart, I knew it was an answer to prayer. He was listening. I walked home like a kid, splashing in puddles and enjoying the rain rather than hiding from it. My dad came out and joined me. Anyway, that day I realized that I could become bitter and cynical about all I had seen or I could do something to try to prevent other people from having to go through it.

I began mentoring and teaching art at the Fort Bend County Detention Center at 19 years old and later worked for them planning enrichment activities and teaching life skills. Then I went to school and became a Chemical Dependency Counselor and worked as a counselor at three different Harris County juvenile facilities. It was there that God gave me the dream for FRUIT. magazine - to reach as many of these young men and women as I could and share with them hope, encouragement, resources, and gang and drug education in a way that they would hopefully receive and consider it. On top of that, God gave me the vision of publishing their art and writing so they could feel proud of themselves for doing something positive and so that they could use their mistakes to help their peers.

CONTACT US

P.O. Box 580668 Houston, TX 77258 832.423.3126 tswigart@gmail.com www.ProduceFruit.org

I have now been working with youth in the juvenile justice system for 19 years.

I love these kids. You wouldn’t believe some of their stories - makes my past look like a fairy tale. So, I appreciate every encouragement and every cent that you give to allow me to continue working with them. This magazine is my heart and my passion. All the glory goes to God; He has surprised me every step of the way!

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BIZZLE&

SCHIVONNE HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE A N D W H AT D R E W Y O U T O T H E M INITIALLY?

BIZZLE: We initially met in the 11th grade; we shared a class. I ended up sitting next to her and over that semester we became friends. She was super cool, funny, and we liked the same music.

Those things are probably what drew me to her initially.

SCHIVONNE: We met in the 11th grade. We had a class together and sat next to one another. We started out as friends for a whole year. He was funny, great to talk to and we had a lot in common. We ended up falling for one another our senior year, and we have been together ever since.

WHAT ATTRIBUTES DO THEY HAVE THAT ARE MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU? BIZZLE: My wife has so many great attributes.

Of course the most important would be that she serves THE LORD; but aside from that, she has 4

a good heart and is genuinely a good person. She is always thinking about and considering others.

She is also super responsible and driven, which hasn’t always been my strong suit. I was the person in class that never focused and never handled business, but she was always on point. I always got fired from jobs, she always kept them. She has always been strong in the areas I am weak in and vice versa, and I feel like it almost creates the perfect balance.

SCHIVONNE: The most important attribute for me is that my husband loves the Lord and wants to do what is pleasing to Him, which causes him to continue to strive to be the best husband and father that he can be. Another important attribute about my husband is the way he loves and cares for his loved ones, and people, in general. I never have to question his love for me or our children. He loves hard and has no problem expressing it with his words and actions.

HOW HAVE THEY HELPED YOU GROW BETTER AS A PERSON?

BIZZLE: She has helped me grow as a person in so many ways. I feel like she has always been able to see things from a different angle than I do and because of that, she helps me to be more well rounded as an individual. There have been times when she was the only person that could tell me I was wrong when I thought I was right.

Also, because of all of her great attributes (like I named earlier), she challenges me to be better in those areas. For example, watching her work hard made me want to work harder. Seeing how thoughtful and considerate she is, makes me want to be more thoughtful and considerate. She also helps my relationship with THE LORD because I believe marriage is one of the ways HE gives us to relate to HIM. So I am always challenged to be more thoughtful, be less selfish, and I’m always practicing unconditional love, and doing that, makes me more like CHRIST, daily. She also helps me to be a better father to my children, because she knows me like no one else and she sees what no one else sees, and she challenges me in areas I could be doing better in, as both a husband and a father.

SCHIVONNE: My husband is an awesome communicator which is so important in a marriage. He has a way of breaking things down to get his point across that I believe is a gift. Even though I still have some work in that department, I have him as a great example of what good communication looks like so I can continue to work at it daily. He has also helped me grow spiritually. His zeal continues to make me want to dig deeper in the word of God. DESCRIBE THE IMPACT OF BEING WITH SOMEONE WHO FOLLOWS JESUS? BIZZLE: Being with someone who follows JESUS makes all the difference in the world. For starters, you are doing life with someone who has grown up without you for years. They were raised differently, have different values, different priorities, etc. We all grow up with different ideas of what’s right and wrong and because of that, there will always be potential for disagreement.

Being with someone who follows CHRIST means that we have agreed to let HIM be the referee whenever we clash. We both share one standard of right and wrong outside of our “feelings”, so regardless of how we feel, we both submit to the Word of GOD. It governs how we love and treat each other, how we raise our children, and

how we live life in general; HIS Word keeps us in one accord. Also, what’s better than being with someone who has agreed to treat others the way they want to be treated? Or to love their neighbor as they love themself? Of course we are not perfect, but we both naturally benefit from each other’s dedication to THE LORD. SCHIVONNE: We have been together for 18 years, since before both of us were saved. I can definitely tell the difference in our relationship without Jesus and with Jesus at the center of it. Being followers of Christ, our goal is to do all things so that God can get glory out of our marriage; therefore, we always have a standard (God’s Word). So when we have disagreements, we try and take our pride, egos, opinions, etc., out of it and ask what God says about it.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO SINGLE YOUNG MEN READING THIS? BIZZLE: Your goal in life should revolve around being the best man of GOD you can be. There are two reasons this is important, in regard to your relationship. One, in you truly being a man of GOD, you are naturally going to want a woman of GOD; she will naturally be the best fit for you.

You will see things in her that remind you of HIM. Also, you want to be the type of man who is worthy of the type of woman you have asked GOD for. If you had a daughter, you would want what’s best for her. I believe GOD wants what’s best for HIS daughter as well. So don’t just ask HIM for a wonderful woman, but you work on being what’s best for her.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO SINGLE YOUNG WOMEN READING THIS? BIZZLE: The same thing I said to the men, just in reverse.

SCHIVONNE: My advice for single young women would be to keep your focus on God and your relationship with him, first. Don’t rush to be in a relationship because, the man that God has for you will come in God’s timing and when He feels you are ready. Also, the more you are in the Word of God, the easier it will be to detect the right one for you. God gives us specific instructions on how our husband is to treat us, so if he doesn’t, then you know that may not be him.

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“Make her the Mrs.”

BIZZLE

Feat.Willie Moore Jr. Album: The Good Fight

VERSE 1: We been through a whole lot together, but the pride in me convinces me not to tell her how I’m better with her and I miss her when we’re not together cause I don’t wanna give her the power but I’m kinda fed up with playin games. Homie I’m too grown, and honestly she probably should have been moved on.

But she hasn’t cause her love for me is too strong, and I feel like I don took advantage of it too long.

VERSE 2: See, I tell you what my dilemma is, I was taught to keep women like medicine. One for every need, and every situation, to have a whole field of em playin bases. And the way I saw hip-hop pitchin it, is you wasn’t a man unless you had plenty chicks.

But that would mean that havin a lot of dudes that what makes a woman a woman. And if not, then we hypocrites.

The homies say it’s bros over hoes, though. Okay, but when is she not one of those though? What if she do more for me then the homies put together? How you explain treatin her like she don’t though? Feel like the least I could do is put a ring on it, when she deserved fifteen like three Kobe’s. I don put her through it all and she keeps goin and I love her to death but it’s time that she knows it, Bizzle

But now I’m with this chick, and homie she is it. And her mind’s made up, homie, she commits. And I know that she the one for me, and I don’t want another chick, I just like to feel free to pick. Afraid one day she’ll realize how I do, only treat her right when I feel like I’m a loser. So why wait til she leaves and I’m broken down? I need to show her how much she means to me, I’ma show her now

HOOK: And know there’s nowhere in the world I would rather be. And the pride got me feelin like she’ll never leave. But a part of me is afraid that one day she’ll see she can do better than me. And anybody can see she the one for me and there’s a whole lot I feel like I wanna see, but it’s time to put away childish things.

HOOK: And know there’s nowhere in the world I would rather be. And the pride got me feelin like she’ll never leave. But a part of me is afraid that one day she’ll see she can do better than me. And anybody can see she the one for me and there’s a whole lot I feel like I wanna see, but it’s time to put away childish things.

You know, maybe it’s time to make her the Mrs. (make her the Mrs.), make her the Mrs. Oo, I gotta make her the Mrs. (make her the Mrs.), make her the Mrs. You know you found the one indeed. If you gon play, why not play for keeps? Make her the Mrs., make her the Mrs. me. Make her the Mrs. Make her the Mrs. me.

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You know, maybe it’s time to make her the Mrs. (make her the Mrs.), make her the Mrs. Oo, I gotta make her the Mrs. (make her the Mrs.), make her the Mrs. You know you found the one indeed. If you gon play, why not play for keeps? Make her the Mrs., make her the Mrs. me. Make her the Mrs. Make her the Mrs. me.

FRUIT. Magazine

How did you meet your spouse and what drew you to them initially?

Tre9

She showed up to 5th Ward Hip Hop Hope and her smile lit up the room. It also helped that she was looking super fine in her high heels and tight leggings. I was immediately attracted to her physically. I asked her daughter, Teonna, if she lived with her mom and dad…I was being slick. When she said, “No, it’s just my mom and I,” that’s when I knew she was single. Later that evening she requested me on Facebook, and the rest is history!

RE T AND9 AMANDA Amanda

event but I found a husband! I was absolutely attracted to Tre’s heart and character. For a year or two, I had been hearing of this “Tre9” guy that was an amazing man of God ministering in the streets of Houston. I’d heard many great things and not a single negative. He still lives up to that reputation.

FRUIT. Magazine

Amanda

I was a single mom of a 12 year old daughter and I was always trying to find things to do with her that were fun and relevant, while still glorifying God. A friend invited me to Hip Hop Hope and it was exactly what I was looking for. Not only did we find an awesome weekly...

What attributes of your spouse are most important to you?

Tre9

She is in love with Jesus before anyone else and her character reflects Him. She is honest, helpful, considerate, self-less, kind, compassionate, never jealous...

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Tre9

Tre9

and she keeps herself looking physically fine! She takes the best care of our three sons & keeps our home in tip-top shape when it comes to cleanliness, keeping things organized, preparing meals, doing laundry & ironing clothes. She never nags me when I’m out too long discipling men & serving in ministry, but instead talks to me when she has a problem. She never holds grudges or stays angry over anything, even petty stuff.

She welcomes me to tell her anything on my mind, even if it’s about something we need to improve on in our marriage. I could go on & on but overall she applies the Bible to her life & that makes her character as a Christian solid as a rock!

Amanda

Tre is a man of amazing integrity. There is no difference in the man the world sees & the man behind closed doors. His heart is for Jesus & everything else stems from that. He always tries to help make my life easier by taking care of things that are a hassle for me. He truly leads our home using Biblical principles, yet while still having a blast!

FRUIT. Magazine

Tre9

How has your spouse helped you grow better as a person?

When I met her I can’t say that I was always 100% honest in all situations. I would still tell little lies for the sake of keeping peace or if I thought it would make a situation better. She completely showed me I could be honest no matter what the consequences were. Even between us, she could handle anything thrown her way as long as it was the truth. Being honest is hard to do 100% of the time, but she showed me it was possible.

Amanda

I had a long history of using drugs and alcohol but got sober in 2007 after many times in and out of jail and being on life support after an overdose. Tre and I met, then got married in 2010 and almost immediately I started having health problems. In the next few years, I had 4 spine surgeries and found myself on pain meds again, eventually leading to me relapsing completely on everything from alcohol to handlebars to cocaine. Instead of leaving me down and out, wallowing in sin and addiction, Tre loved me and helped me get sober and stay sober. I needed that unconditional love from a man, something I’d never had before and didn’t know how to receive. He truly helped save my life. Now I’m able to help others the same way.

FRUIT. Magazine

Tre9

Describe the impact of being with someone who follows Jesus?

The biggest impact is, our marriage is a model for others seeking to have a healthy relationship. I have a clear understanding of what kind of a husband I have to be for my wife. I learned from the Bible that I’m required to unconditionally love, respect, provide for financially, protect, support, help, lead spiritually, honor & sacrifice my own life for her, just as Jesus did for me. Because we

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both follow Jesus, everything that happens in our marriage has a solution and it can be found in the Bible.

Also, she prays for me and that’s why God continues to bless everything I do. I carry a lot of pressure out here in street ministry, sometimes caring for really difficult people and situations that are burdensome & stressful. I couldn’t do that with just any ol’ woman who is physically attractive alone. Knowing that I have a Christian wife at home who supports everything I am doing in the streets for Christ makes my effectiveness so much greater. Being married to her allows me to minister to other married couples and single people as well.

Amanda

Tre is unlike any man I ever dated, even those that professed to be Christians. He is not possessive or jealous. He genuinely looks to the Bible for answers & one of the most absolute important things to me has been, he keeps no record of wrongs! The Bible says that true love “keeps no record of wrongs’, meaning you shouldn’t throw old stuff in each other’s faces. This is something I’d never experienced & has been vital to me forgiving myself & truly healing without condemnation. We model our marriage & our parenting straight from the Bible & it never fails. We rarely fuss or argue over anything…literally not even once a year! My kids & I follow him as he follows Christ.

FRUIT. Magazine

What advice would you give to single young men and women reading this?

Tre9

I urge you young men and women to listen to me!

Learn to love God more than anything or anyone else...

You can be complete and find your purpose in life by placing total trust and faith in God, rather than relying on someone else to do that. There isn’t a spouse on the planet that can substitute for the fulfillment that you can only get from God. Once you learn to walk in obedience to the ways of God, you can be loved and love others, in the right way. After that, the presence of a spouse will only add to the joy and completeness in your life.

Finally, the Bible says your body belongs to Christ once you accept him into your life (I Corinthians 6:19-20).

Save your body for marriage and if you’ve already had sex, ask God to give you a renewed virginity in Him. He will forgive all things in the past and make you a new person. Yes, he can spiritually renew your virginity, just ask Him! Make an agreement with God that says you will respect your body and your significant other’s body, keeping it pure and holy for God’s use. It helps to have a promise ring or something to remind you of the commitment you’ve made to save yourself for the one you marry.

Amanda

Young men, there is nothing cool or “gangsta” about seeing how many females you can sleep with. Young women, don’t settle! Fall in love with Jesus & be content in/with Him. Then pray specifically for the Lord to send you the husband He has picked for you. He is so much wiser than we are!

BAD BY TRE9

WOMAN CHORUS Never alone, keeping me going, She is a bad woman, Makin our home feel like a throne, I got a bad woman, Never alone, keeping me going, She is a bad woman, Makin our home feel like a throne, I got a bad woman,

TRE VERSE 1 I can tell you that she love me, She tell me she’s thinking of me, That ring on your finger look lovely, Sparkling diamonds you worthy, Committed for life you deserve it, My woman be getting’ up early, Ain’t nothing that she can’t handle, Lit up my heart like a candle, We go together like camo, Even though I am a handful, We play around like game show, Never a dull moment no, no, She can have all of the bankroll, Cuz she proven to be loyal, CHORUS Never alone, keeping me going, She is a bad woman, Makin our home feel like a throne, I got a bad woman, Never alone, keeping me going, She is a bad woman,

Produced by Tre9 Arranged by Cam Taylor Beat by Shadow Black Music Mixed by Bruce Bang Recorded at Cam Taylor Studios

Makin our home feel like a throne, I got a bad woman, TRE VERSE 2 My woman ain’t wit that playing, We just get up in that plane, Ain’t nothing plain, we in Spain, Tripping down memory lane, We made a marriage and built a home, Paid off the loan now the debt is gone, Baby so sweet like a honey comb, Girl you put me in the zone, And I love ya, love ya, No one but God is above ya, U ain’t a dime u a quarter, And you one heck of a mother, Look at our kids, how they win when they walk, Look at the love, in their heart when they talk, Hold down the family you got it on lock, Got it on lock, CHORUS Never alone, keeping me going, She is a bad woman, Makin our home feel like a throne, I got a bad woman, Never alone, keeping me going, She is a bad woman, Makin our home feel like a throne, I got a bad woman.

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n i v l C a &Kim H

H

HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE AND WHAT DREW YOU TO THEM INITIALLY?

CALVIN: I met my wife at college, Wayne State University, and what drew me to her was her work ethic. She was directing a casting call there. She was able to work the casting call by directing, helping and answering people, and on the side still hold our conversation.

KIM: I met my husband at Wayne State University while I was working as a Casting Director at a Casting Call. He came to the casting call and I tried to get him to audition for a film. Instead of auditioning, he sat and told me his testimony and why he wasn’t going to audition. Immediately, I was drawn to the light of God I could see within him, and his boldness in telling his testimony freely. He stayed and talked with me until the end and helped me to break down the casting call. On that first day I met him, I prayed that when I get married, I married someone just like him. I didn’t know that it would actually be him that I’d marry. Glory to God.

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WHAT VALUES/ATTRIBUTES DOES YOUR SPOUSE HAVE THAT ARE MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU? CALVIN: I love the fact that my wife is in-tune with God! God speaks to her and she hears Him, and I love that she listens to Him! I also love that my wife stands on what she believes, and she does not lie down for anyone. She may not know how it/things will get done, but she stands and watches God move!

KIM: One of the greatest attributes my husband has that’s important to me is a dedication and submission unto God. He is a man who is directed by God. (Like his album and clothing brand.) A man of integrity and a man who is not out to please people, but rather seeks to please God. Everything else falls under this umbrella; I can follow him while he follows God.

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HOW HAS YOUR SPOUSE HELPED YOU GROW BETTER AS A PERSON? CALVIN: My wife has helped me grow in different ways; one way is in communication! Before, I had to answer to no one but God! Now I have to communicate with my wife and make sure things are explained effectively. It makes me speak effectively, thoroughly and in a way where she understands it. I admit, I still fall short in this area at times! Sometimes, my mind works so fast, and I just want to get up, move, build, and go lol!

KIM: My husband has helped me tremendously. When he came into my life, I was broken and recovering from broken relationships. He helped to restore me and spoke life into me, telling me I was beautiful. He told me “No” when God told him to.

He was very patient with me, and I could look back and see myself growing. He reminded me who I was in Christ and whose I was. And he didn’t move forward in a relationship with me until God released him to. Because of his deep relationship with Christ, my husband was able to help me grow spiritually. And now we are serving in ministry together, doing music, traveling the world doing ministry and also serving in church together. God was very intentional when he put us together. He not only answered my prayers concerning my husband, but he gave me more than I can ask or perceive concerning him. I am truly thankful.

H

DESCRIBE THE IMPACT YOUR CHOICE OF BEING WITH SOMEONE WHO FOLLOWS JESUS HAS HAD ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP? CALVIN: It’s been a huge impact in my life that my wife loves Jesus! There have been times when I’ve been wrong on things, and God has used my wife to explain and show me different perspectives about different situations that I didn’t see myself!

God would use my wife to uncover those things! I love how my wife, no matter how hard or scary it is, tells me the truth about herself, me or anything! Also my wife has held me down in so many areas of my life.

There are things we couldn’t do by ourselves, and God brought us together to accomplish things we could only do together!!

KIM: When you’re not following Jesus, you are on a road to destruction. There’s confusion, misguidance, and you’re walking blindly. And the blind lead the blind into a ditch. But when you follow Jesus,

you are on the path of righteousness, for the “steps of the righteous man are ordered by the Lord.” Because we’ve been obedient with following God, we’ve had so many blessings and favor to fall on us.

This walk is not always easy, but when we submit to God, you see that obedience is what matters and it becomes easier.

There have been some times when we’ve had some great opportunities and doors that were open to us. But after prayerful consideration, if God said “No”, we had to turn down some opportunities. While it may be looked at like, “how could you turn that down?! That was a major opportunity!!!”, we later see exactly why God told us NOT to do it. It could be the people connected to it, or even that God has something else in store for us. When following my husband who is following God, we’ve had more peace, more understanding and we are moving closer and closer to where God wants us to be. It’s of dire importance to be in a relationship with someone who is equally yoked with you. It brings about balance and order.

H

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO SINGLE YOUNG MEN READING THIS? CALVIN: The advice I would give any single young woman/man reading this is to wait on God to lead you toward dating/ courting! It requires so much of your time and focus, and things are not just about you, your thoughts, or feelings anymore! It requires a lifestyle change in areas of your life. It takes discipline and may require some sacrifices.

KIM: The Bible says that “He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtaineth favor from the Lord.” I’ve heard it said (even from my own husband) countless times that some men would like to wait until they are fully established in every single event of their lives before getting married. They want to make sure they have a certain amount of money; a certain house or car, and a certain job. These become the parameters which determine when they marry. I’d say, follow the voice of God. If God says to go forth and marry, then do so.

Step out on faith. “God will supply all your needs according to His riches and glory in Heaven.” This is the story of our marriage.

I didn’t have a job or funds saved up when God spoke through three different prophets (one from Africa, one from California and one from Detroit) within a week to move forth and get married. They emphasized not to worry about anything and not to wait any longer. And sure enough, God was true to his Word and poured out so

many blessings over my husband and me, leading us to have a beautiful and blessed wedding! And furthermore, my husband and I now have the opportunity to build together! We are not at the same place we were at the beginning. We are learning, growing and being blessed together! And that’s the fun part- doing it together. “How can two walk together lest they agree?”

H

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO SINGLE YOUNG WOMEN? CALVIN: So even before courting, I would say seek a real relationship with God, first. He was the One who created us, and He will show us ourselves before seeking someone else. We need to know who God created us to be before we can see who we were created to be for someone else. So if we seek God, for who He is (The Creator!), He will show us who He is, and He will also show us who we are (The Created)! Then we will know what we were created for, to do and who to be with, and God showed me these things through His Son, Jesus Christ! God bless.

KIM: Sisters in Christ- don’t rush into relationships. My husband told me upon meeting him that it takes a long time to get to know a person. You want to see all the aspects of a person – what makes them happy, how they act when they’re angry or sad. How do they cope with issues, trials and tribulations? What is their character built on? Take time to watch this person. Pray, use discernment. There are those who are deceptive, and some may not have your heart’s best interest in mind.

Marry someone who truly loves you, and will wait until after you’re married to be intimate. Don’t let anyone talk you into sin. You will waste a lot of time and find yourselves caught up in soul ties when you don’t wait on God. And while you wait for your Husband (who will find YOU!... you don’t have to find him…) make sure you keep your mind and heart focused on doing the works of God and Jesus Christ.

Attend church services. Serve and help the homeless. Start or become a part of a ministry. Study the Bible, the Word of God, “to show yourself approved.” Continue to learn and grow. When the time is right, God will send the man he has for you. And you’re going to love him, in Jesus’ name!

Until then, live a life where God is your husband, and any man who finds you has to come through your Father, God first.

H H H H H H H H H H H H H H 11

Love

Song

HK imberly Rice-Cofield BY

H

CHORUS:Love is patient (Love is patient) Love is Kind (Kind) It doesn’t envy (it doesn’t envy) It always Shines (Shines) Love is patient (Love is patient) Love is Kind (Kind) It doesn’t envy (You are my example, Lord!)

VERSE 1: (Kimberly Rice-Cofield) Hickory dickory dock, Look at the hands on the clock Can you tell me why I wanted to cry, I felt I would die?

When searching for love it would lead me to sighs.

I could not deny, I wanted it all.

But like Adam and Eve, it led to a fall.

Caught up in sin even just to begin; No guidance, direction, not even a win.

For so many years I wanted a love song, But what Love showed me is I really had it all wrong.

Looking for love in all the wrong places; Trusting in men who steadily changing faces.

He taught me how to love, therefore I plead His precious blood!

He died to set me free, up there on Calvary!

No longer am I bound – living in victory I claim my marriage, someday living in purity!

Hickory, dickory dock, look at the hands on the clock, and tell me the time!

Hickory, dickory dock, Hickory, dickory dock. Okay!

CHORUS:Love is patient (Love is patient) Love is Kind (Kind) It doesn’t envy (it doesn’t envy) It always Shines (Shines) Love is patient (Love is patient)

FEAT. PORSHA LOVE

Love is Kind (Kind) It doesn’t envy (You are my example, Lord!)

VERSE 2: (Porsha Love) Ain’t no sense of fronting I’m nothing without you, Looking for love and affection, wrong places wouldn’t true, Ah uh.

Jesus Christ all day! Jesus Christ my bae (Yeah) Jesus Christ my bae (Yeah), Jesus Christ my bae. (2x) Living in this world of understanding, Grace and mercy got me, You a God of second chances.

Nothing can compare, no greater love can take Your place, Anything can get to stepping if it tried to crowd my space, Owww!

Jesus got me in the church, when I know the life I lived I should be in a hearse – in a hearse. But nevertheless I am so blessed, and all of His loving, it covered my mess; no stress, no need to be pump-faking, no one could duplicate it, Real Love!

CHORUS: Love is patient (Love is patient) Love is Kind (Kind) It doesn’t envy (it doesn’t envy) It always Shines (Shines) Love is patient (Love is patient) Love is Kind (Kind) It doesn’t envy (You are my example, Lord!)

CHORUS: Love is patient (Love is patient) Love is Kind (Kind) It doesn’t envy (it doesn’t envy) It always Shines (Shines) Love is patient (Love is patient) Love is Kind (Kind) It doesn’t envy (You are my example, Lord!)

H H H H H H H H H H H H H 12

\

I’MA PULL UP ON YA

BLOCK

I’MA PUT

LOVE ON YA BLOCK TRE9, PULL UP ON YA BLOCK

13

ART & WRITING CONTEST

DO YOU HAVE SERIOUS ART OR WRITING SKILLS? SHOW US WHAT YOU’VE GOT AND WE WILL CHOOSE 1 WINNER & 1 RUNNER UP FOR EACH CATEGORY, EACH ISSUE. YOU WILL BE COMPETING WITH ALL OUR READERS ACROSS THE COUNTRY. WINNERS’ WORK WILL BE FEATURED IN FRUIT. MAGAZINE AND ON OUR SOCIAL MEDIA. WINNERS WILL ALSO RECEIVE A PRIZE FROM FREESTYLE MINISTRIES. ALL ORIGINAL ARTWORK WILL BE RETURNED TO YOUR MAILING ADDRESS! To submit your entry, fill out the form on page 29 with a note telling us which contest your work is for.

FOR FRUIT. ISSUE 20 ART: Create a work of art in honor of someone you love who passed away.

WRITING: Write an essay, poem, or lyrics about how you are/will honor someone who passed away by doing something positive with your life. “In honor of your memory I will...”

ENTRY DEADLINE: April 30, 2019

FOR FRUIT. ISSUE 21 ART: Create a meme using the words, “That’s not what friends do” or scripture, “There are ‘friends’ who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.” - Proverbs 18:24 NLT WRITING: Write a story, poem, or lyrics about how to tell the difference between a true friend or someone who is just using you. Or write about what you think the above scripture means.

ENTRY DEADLINE: June 30, 2019

FOR FRUIT. ISSUE 22 ART: Design a FRUIT. Magazine Christmas card. We will use the winner for our actual Christmas cards!

WRITING: Write an essay, letter, poem, or lyrics about what you are most thankful for when it is hard to find anything else to be thankful for.

ENTRY DEADLINE: September 30, 2019

FOR FRUIT. ISSUE 23 ART: Design a t-shirt about starting a new, positive life or with the word “Overcomer” or “New Thangs.”

WRITING: Write an essay, letter, poem, or lyrics about good habits you hope to start and how you plan to achieve them.

ENTRY DEADLINE: December 30, 2019

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PRODUCE ART &WRITING

ART & WRITING OF OUR READERS PRODUCE

M

atthew 7:20 says, “Thus by their fruit you will recognize them.” We want YOU to “produce fruit” by creating artwork and writing to be published in our next issue!

This is a great way to glorify God with your talents and to encourage others.

If your work is published in FRUIT., we will mail you a copy of the magazine to have as a keepsake! If you would like to submit any art or writing to be published in FRUIT., please complete a submission form and mail it along with your art/writing to: Freestyle Ministries, P.O. Box 580668, Houston, TX, 77258.

You can use the submission form in this issue (PG 29) or download a submission form from our website: producefruit.org. You can also scan and e-mail your work and form to Tera Swigart at: tswigart@gmail.com. Also, write us with any questions or prayer requests. We have lots of people ready to pray for you and answer any questions you may have!

Elizabeth, 16 15

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Gabriel, 16 16

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TEENAGE RELATIONSHIPS When we are young, we just want food, love and warmth.

Yet as we grow older, we slowly discover a world beyond that. We discover money, cars, and even love. And there is nothing wrong with that. It’s normal, but out of everything I listed, there is one thing that is more complex than simple need and that’s love. Love might just be a simple four letter word on a piece of paper in a magazine, but it’s more than that.

It’s trust and respect. Nothing but the truth. And you can not enter a romantic relationship with a stranger. These relationships do not happen overnight. I repeat. They do not happen overnight. They happen over long periods of time of knowing this person. Seeing their true colors and who they really are and not someone just faking it. And when you love someone you must ask strong questions and give honest answers.

Don’t try to date someone just to fill that void that we all have. To have a healthy relationship with someone on a romantic level, we must have Jesus. Jesus values love.

And if you read the Bible, you can read that when his enemies come to bring harm to him, he simply turns the cheek. He forgives those who speak down on his name and wish or bring him harm.

And what’s amazing about this is that he is the Son of God. He can call upon an army of Angels to wipe out cities, to wipe away his enemies. Yet he doesn’t because he believes in love. He’s the only example of what true love should be. And that is why we need to have a close relationship with him when we enter another relationship. We can follow his example and learn what a healthy relationship is.

That’s why we need Jesus in all our relationships. He shows us what love is supposed to be and it makes any relationship stronger and last much longer than a relationship without him.

- FRUIT. YOUTH WRITER: Tyler Hernandez

His Name I’m Gonna Praise / Now, I Hope You Can Do the Same… / Call On His Name, Don’t Be Ashamed / He Gone Love You, He Gone Hold You / He Will Never Gone Betray You / Cause When It Comes to People They Gone Fail You / Regardless How You Feel About Them / Don’t trip, No Sweat, Move On Without Them / And Like I Said…

[Hook] [Pre Hook] > x2 Verse 2: & to the Men that Are Going / To A Different State School / Imma Keep On Praying & God Be With You / I Know the Struggle Cause I’m Going through it, too!! / One Day Your Time Will Be Due / Do the time, Don’t Let The Time Do You / & to Yourself Stay Real & true / & to the Ladies / that I See On the Daily / Some Of You’ve Been trippin’ So Much Lately / Like Don’t You Miss The FreeWorld Or Your Baby? / Do it For Yourself / Do the time & Get Out / If I Made it, You Can Make it, there’s No Doubt / But Of Your Ownself You’ve Got to Be Proud / & When A Demon Comes Your Way Just Tell it “Move Around!”

[Hook] [Pre Hook] > x2 -Larizza, 17 FOR ALL OF THOSE YOU LOST AND STILL LOVE I can’t say goodbye. This isn’t goodbye.

You’re gone, But you’re still here.

You’re still here with me, deep in my heart.

I’ll hold you close. I won’t let you go.

When I shine, it’s your light others will see.

When I hurt, your memory will be my comfort.

We’ll be together forever, just you and me one day.

But not today. Today you’re gone.

No matter where I look, you’re not there.

When I cried, I cried for you.

When I sob, you’re not there to comfort me.

When I quiet, you’re still not there.

Why did you have to go?

Today I am alone.

But one day we will meet again.

Still Think Of You Always RIP Grandma

G.I.G.

-Philip, 16

Hook: God Is Good, All The Time / God Is Good, So Imma Ride / God Is Good, I Can’t Deny Pre Hook: God Is Good, All the time, All the time / God Is Good, So Imma Ride, Imma Ride / God Is Good, I Can’t Deny, Can’t Deny Verse 1: I Look Around, Ain’t No One By Thy Side / I’m An Independent Lady But On Him I’m Gone Rely / So Many People Tell Me Lies After Lies / Talking About How I’m Never Gonna Make it in My Life / Or How Imma Kill & to the Streets I’m Gonna Die / Imma Pour Out My Heart & Give You All That’s Mine… / 3 Years In The Cage / No, I’ve Never Been Gay / Man, I Stay Straight / Cause He’s With Me through the Stay / I take It Day By Day / & to

INCARCERATED Chorus: Yeah, I’m incarcerated, but got saved and I “made it” x3 / Yeah, I’m incarcerated, off His blessings I’m “faded” x3 V1: It’s been a while since I’ve been out / never really had a crowd / still stuck to being proud / staying off the “ninth cloud” x3 / it’s a difficult situation / everywhere I look there’s temptation / was running from the cops not Immigration / screwing up my probation / T.Y.C. my recommendation / no I’m here, asking myself up to / where have I made it? / to a “6x8” room and a facility that’s gated /

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now my Birthdays are Happy Belated / too many people I manipulated / hurt my momma so much and I hate it / the love of God I case it / even tho it’s always here / even tho you’re always near / God, calling your name / Homie, start putting down the beer / can’t you see your people crying / it’s tear after tear / you’ve got to listen to my words not just hear!...

[Chorus: x2] V2: Another day, Another less / I’m looking towards the day I’m out the pennn’ / If you out with papers you ain’t fully out the fence / Don’t want to come back, Carnal, I’ll try my best / like a Bird too early left mommas nest / I hit the streets and the drug game I caressed / Homie died of so much that he bled / All my life been blessed / didn’t realize till I hit a red light and a left / it’s sad when your people hit death / or in a cage writing with a paper, pen / feeling alone while you sitting in your desk / no letter, no call, nothing at all / from the people that said that with me / they gon ball / I know how it get / Will get tough, I bet / gotta wait till the court date was set / I know the walls eventually get to you / cause the cold cells, maaan, I’ve been thru / just know I got brother on mind / and I pray for you!... / and it was said, “Stay out of trouble, while / you’re in trouble, to get out of trouble” / Something I never knew, never understood reminiscing ‘bout my life and what I’ve been through. / I got to make a way / once I’m out I ain’t trynna’ go back to the Pennn’ / God’s with me in my lane / always here never away / [Chorus: X2]

People can’t relate to my life, They see me as another wanna be thug that’s fully white, For the things that I’ve done I now pay the price, I wanna show my mom that I can do right, But when I speak up people think that I’m playing, On the Daily before I go to sleep I’m praying, I Hope you can relate to what I am saying.

These are the consequences of Gang Banging.

-Tommy, 17 MOUNTAINS Climbed mountains and carried boulders Fought my enemies with kindness Never once had I need look over my shoulder Wisdom grew as I grew older And became God’s soldier I have reached new heights With not a bit of fright Knew I wasn’t alone in my fight To see a brighter light Something to help me sleep at night When it came to burden upon burden I became uncertain That I would ever have faith Till the Lord sent messages To see a better end To see a golden land -Tyler

Outro: Now I “made it” x3 / and I ain’t “faded” x3 -Larizza, 17 DON’T GIVE UP This is for all the kids and teens in the juvenile and foster care system, I know it’s hard being in placements because you are taken away from your family and you have to be put under new, strange circumstances where it’s almost like survival every day and your limits are being tested on a daily basis, but never forget that you are never alone and this is just a test, one step in God’s plan for your success. God is always looking out for you and wants nothing else for you but the very best because he loves you and has already designed your beautiful destiny. Please never give up and remember this verse if you are ever in a time of need. Psalm 91:4 “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.”

-Samuel, 17

MY POEM

THE LIGHT Through the light all I saw was darkness.

Wondering when all this stuff started.

Left with grandma at the age of three.

All because my mom wanted to be free.

She got on drugs, then left me under the rug.

At the age of ten is when my childhood hit its end.

Started doing drugs and popping pills.

My life is the only thing that it killed.

Turned me into someone no one knew.

Doing things I never thought I’d do.

But in the end it all caught up to me.

Now I’m stuck in TYC. All because I wanted to act grown.

Time was the only thing I was shown.

Through the darkness I see the light.

God beat the devil in this fight.

I now see what is true.

That is the love God has for me and you.

So look through your darkness you’ll find your light.

But in order to do that you’ll need God by your side.

So just know no matter what you do, God will never leave you.

-Chris, 14

18

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Michael, 15

A’lice

Benjamin, 16

Ma’kayla

Anonymous Daniel 9

Tayniesha 19

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Christopher

Anonymous

Melany, 15 20

Dawson, 13

Manny, 15

Trenton, 15

Josue, 16

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Kalen, 16

Damon, 16

Josue, 16 21

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Anonymous

Fabian, 16

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Michael, 15

Josue, 16

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MY STORY

SORROWS

Hello, my name is Jacob, I’m 17 years old with 4 babies.

I’m currently in the TJJD program cuz I got involved in the wrong stuff and came here. I was 13 when I first came and I acted out, got in fights, assaulted staff, was pepper sprayed, destroyed property, but now I’m chillin cuz I had help from one staff in particular who no matter what has helped me dramatically. This woman has been through my tough times as if they were her own. She loved me as her own, taught me skills to help me in life, heard me out, and disciplined me when needed. I left about 2 months ago, I went to college and performed on the basketball and football team. Had a job, took care of my babies and now I’m back here because I decided I wanted to party and drink. I came back here and saw the most horrible look on my special staff’s face and it hurt. I call this staff Gran-Momma. She was so disappointed that it tore my heart apart, she had worked so hard and I had let her down, so right now I vowed that I would work on my anger, stress, cussing, and patience. But I’m worried that she’s going to forget me cuz there’s a problem, she’s leaving to work with another dorm. I won’t get to see her as much, or talk to her as much. She’s my only momma and hope. I’ve been terrified everyday cuz she’s the only reason I got out the first time. The respect I have for her is over the walls, but I don’t want to lose her. All my people are dead. I watched my brother get shot, my sister overdosed, my momma (real) got shot, and my daddy passed in gangs. I have no one but her. I’ve been staying faithful though, and praying to God for my help and to look over my Gran-Momma. She’s been so stressed out and unhealthy that I’ve been having to tell her to sit down and chill more cuz I’m worried bout her. I ask that anyone pray for my Gran-Momma and that you give her the strength and love to get her through I LOVE YOU GRAN-MOMMA! 1 Day 1000 Opportunities to Succeed!

You don’t know what I been through, sorrows full of pain got me with these issues, (aye) Insecurities I miss you, Reminiscing bout them Days up on buckley how they hit you, (aye) Things ain’t the same I fell out with my mother, Jitterbug how I’m feeling, spiteful maintaining learned that from my brothers, (aye) Siry said neva keep yo head down, Look up to me don’t Shed a tear hard to hold back without a frown (aye) Look in T’s eyes bloodshot red Hound, Time to go sliding, that blue Redemption want em dead now, (aye)

-Jacob, 17 DEDICATION This that dedicated, Boy don’t decorated, This that season of the year them killas feel betrayed, medicated pop a perky medication, too much trauma in his eyes sap got defestrations.

Verse 1 I’ma addicted to lean and weed, I do it so much cuz I been through them stages Remember Locked up ina basement, Trap in Garage tryna make it, now people scream we da greatest, (yea) Came up from nothing, then turned it to something, Hell naw I ain’t fronting, our name be buzzin, use to rock truck fit my Diamonds be busting who you stunting Now, say I’ma chosen child, young bull why you live so wild, will you hold me down. No lie because I miss that smile. x2 -Savion, 17

-Savion, 17 STAY ALIVE Hey y’all, my name’s Elizabeth and I’m from San Antonio.

I just want to say that no matter what, everything that’s ever happened and everything that will happen...HAPPENS FOR A REASON! There have been so many times that things should have gone wrong - but they didn’t.

Back in 2017, my mother was dying of stage four breast cancer. I moved to New Orleans to stay with her and spend as much time with her as I could. My mom wasn’t in my life for five years until at age 15 I received the news of her illness. A few weeks before my mom passed away, I had a dream about my mom dying and having to move back to San Antonio. I remember waking up in tears, running to my mom’s room, and thanking Him for every breath my mom was taking. Little did I know though, He was giving me a warning.

Two weeks later, my mom is in the hospital on life support. Poison is spreading from her liver to the rest of her body, and the doctors tell me she’s not going to make it. I walk back home in disbelief. As soon as I open the door to the house, I fall to my knees, and cry out to God screaming “WHY?” With tears running down my face, I fly through the room touching everything she owns and hugging her clothes. Then I went to the kitchen and drank 15 shots of whiskey, popped a two hundred dose of seroquel and 4 other antidepressants, and smoked 4 blunts in an attempt to overdose. I didn’t care about what would happen after that or who it would hurt; I just wanted to be with my mom. I passed out and woke up the next day.

Since then, I realized that no matter how many times I try to end my life, He will always be there to save me. God has a plan for me and a plan for you. I can’t even begin to describe all the blessings God has given me. If I wasn’t here for a reason, I’d already be dead. In the 16 years that I’ve been alive, God has never stopped blessing me, and He won’t stop blessing you. We’re all here with a purpose, so find that purpose and run with it. Remember, God has a plan for you. Never give up, and stay alive, because no matter what happens, He will ALWAYS be there.

-Elizabeth,16

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LET GO, LET GOD VERSE 1: I can see the hurt you feel, the pain you hide ‘cause I feel it too. I know what it is like to be hurt, what it’s like to be sad, ‘cause I feel it all the time. Just because you’re down low, doesn’t mean you’re all alone. It’s okay to let go. Cause men weren’t meant to carry round such heavy things.

CHORUS: Give it all to Jesus. He’ll take away the burdens. He’ll set you free, He’ll handle everything. He’ll give you everything that you need. Give it all to Jesus. You know He really loves us. He died on the cross, out of love shed His blood. To give us the redemption that we need.

Give it all to Jesus.

VERSE 2: It’s crazy how we think that we don’t need no help. Gotta deal with our problems by ourselves. No shoulder we can lean on to fix the mess, just let go and let God. CHORUS: Give it all to Jesus. He’ll take away the burdens. He’ll set you free, He’ll handle everything. He’ll give you everything that you need. Give it all to Jesus! You know He really loves us! He died on the cross, out of love shed His blood. To give us the redemption that we need.

Give it all to Jesus!

VERSE 3: Let go, let God. Have faith, be strong. Give it all to Jesus. Let go, let God. Have faith, be strong. Keep holding on…

CHORUS: Give it all to Jesus! He’ll take away the burdens. He’ll set you free, He’ll handle everything. He’ll give you everything that you need. Give it all to Jesus! You know He really loves us! He died on the cross, out of love shed His blood. To give us the redemption that we need.

Give it all to Jesus!

-Elizabeth, 16 IN THE DARK VERSE 1: Sleeping in the dark. Wake up feeling dark.

Don’t know where I should be. I’m losing everything…

People tell me how much I mean to them, reminding me of everything I have. But what is everything gonna do for me? When I’m feeling so empty.

CHORUS: I don’t know, I don’t know what I want anymore. I feel so alone, I can’t take it anymore. Take me home, take me home to a place where I belong. To a place where I am loved. ‘Cause I’m dwelling in the dark.

VERSE 2: Thinking about everything in my past, makes me wonder who I’m looking at. The future looks so far away, when I think about where I am today.

CHORUS: I don’t know, I don’t know what I want anymore. I feel so alone, I can’t take it anymore. Take me

24

home, take me home to a place where I belong. To a place where I am loved. ‘Cause I’m dwelling in the dark.

Ooh, Ooh, Ooh, Oooh, Ooh, Ooh, Ooooh (2x) VERSE 3: Insecurity’s overwhelming me. It’s got the best of me, it’ll be the death of me. Drink the poison, let it sink in. In the mornin’, you’ll be prayin’: CHORUS: I don’t know, I don’t know what I want anymore. I feel so alone, I can’t take it anymore. Take me home, take me home to a place where I belong. To a place where I am loved. ‘Cause I’m dwelling in the dark.

Hook: I’m dwelling in the dark. Please take me in your arms, I’m dwelling in the dark. (I’m dwelling in the dark) I’m dwelling in the dark. I need you in my heart, please save me from the dark. I’m dwelling in the dark. Ooh, ooh, ooh… I’m dwelling in the dark. Ooh, oh, whoa, oh, oooh…

You saved me from the dark.

-Elizabeth, 16

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Juan, 18

Dylan, 15 25

PRODUCE ART & WRITING OF OUR READERS

Adid, 14

Benjamin, 16

Jared, 17 18 Marcus, 26

Kirsten, 15

Josef, 15

Marcus, 17

Dawson, 14

Adid, 14

Daniel

ART & WRITING OF OUR READERS PRODUCE

Jared, 18

Ravyn Melany, 15 27

PRODUCE ART & WRITING OF OUR READERS

Melany, 15 28

ART & WRITING OF OUR READERS PRODUCE

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Only God Can Judge Me

E

veryone who reads this magazine is familiar with courtrooms; I want to tell you now about the final courtroom (Hebrews 9:27). When you move from this life to the next, an enemy will stand before God and accuse you of breaking God’s laws (Exodus 20:1-17). He will point to you and say to Him, “Everything else was more important to him than You.” He’ll say, “he’s a liar” and “he’s a thief.” Then he’ll say, “he’s dishonored his parents” and “he’s immoral and impure.” He will accuse you at least 10 times, and here’s the problem, he’s right… We have all broken God’s laws, we’re all guilty (Romans 3:10, 23).

However, one last witness wants to speak; His name is Jesus and He will testify on behalf of all who have turned from evil and asked Him to be the boss of their lives. “The enemy has spoken truthfully, he has broken God’s laws,” Jesus will say, “but one thing remains. The accused has turned from his sin. He believes that I died on the cross for all the bad things he’s done. He believes that I am the way, the truth and the life. This person has broken all the laws of God but HE’S NOT GUILTY! I suffered and died on the cross for him and he believes that My death was for him.

He’s forgiven, he’s Mine!” (Acts 3:19, John 14:6).

In that courtroom, will the verdict be guilty or forgiven?

To begin life with God, confess your guilt. Turn away from evil. Ask Jesus to rule and direct in your life. He wants to testify for you on that day so that you can be with Him forever! (2 Peter 3:9, John 3:16) If you have any questions about what it means to follow Jesus, write to us, we’d love to hear from you!

written by Sam Glass, Missions Pastor, Second Baptist Church Houston

Have you decided to follow Jesus or to rededicate your life to Him?

We want to celebrate with you!

Mail us the response card below and we will send you a:

commemorative certificate and a

special gift to help you stay focused and grow in your relationship with Jesus!

Salvation / Rededication Response Card

Heavenly Father, I confess to you that I’m a sinner. I believe that Jesus died for my sins, then rose from the dead and ascended into heaven. I’m receiving Jesus Christ as my personal savior, here and now. Thank you for making me one of your children. By the Holy Spirit, I will live for you all the days of my life. I will find people to help me grow in my understanding of the Bible and to help me stay on the right path. When times get tough, I will turn to you first. I know that with you I have a purpose and I will seek to find that purpose and live it out. When I make mistakes, which I will, I will not stay down in shame, but will get back up, ask for your forgiveness, and get back on the right path with you. Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice and unconditional love. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

I have accepted Jesus as my savior.

Printed Full Name:

I have rededicated my life to following Jesus.

Signature:

Full Mailing address: Mail completed form to: Freestyle Ministries, P.O. Box 580668, Houston, TX 77258

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Date:

P R O U D S P O N S O R O F F R U I T. M A G A Z I N E

Funding and supporting Christ-centered minist rie s t hat m o bil iz e v o l u n t e e r s t o s erve o th e rs an d shar e t h e go s p e l o f J e s u s C h ri st .

W W W. S TO L L E R F O U N D AT I O N . O R G

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e Lov

FRUIT OF THE VINE DEVOTIONAL BY BARRELL RICHARDSON

GOD IS

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e

"God is - my protection, God is - my all and all, God is - my light in darkness, God is - He is my all and all, God is - my joy in the time of sorrow, God, God is - my all and all, God is - my today and tomorrow, God, my God is - my all and all, God is the joy and the strength of my life, Removes all pain, misery and strife, He promised to keep me, never to leave me, He’ll never, never fall short of His word.

I’ve got to fast and pray, Stay in that narrow way, I’ll keep my life clean every day, I want to go with Him, when He comes back, I’ve come too far and I’ll never turn back.

God is my all and all. God is my all and all.”

I

can remember as a little boy hearing my mom singing this old James Cleveland song in the choir at church. And through this song I began to learn just a little bit about who this God everyone always talked about was. But through my - let’s say 20 plus years of life - I’ve learned that God is all those things and so much more! I’ve learned that the reason He has been all those things for us is because of love.

I know that word is thrown around often just willy-nilly.

We seem to use the L-word for everything. We say, “I love my mom,” “I love my girlfriend,” “I love Instagram,” “I love Kit-Kats,” etc., (Kit-Kats do go hard though - I’m just sayin!) The dictionary defines love as “An intense feeling of deep affection.” But God’s definition and expression of love is much broader and deeper than this. His definition of love is found in 1 Corinthians chapter 13 in the Bible. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.”

That is how God loves us! Because of Jesus’ death on the cross we can be a part of God’s family and He will love us with never-ending patience and kindness; not easily angered and He doesn’t count our mistakes or mess ups - because Jesus already paid the price for them. He seeks to protect us and always hopes for the best for us. He never gives up on us.

But what encouraged me as a little boy - and still encourages me today is that phrase, love never fails! But how? How can love never fail? Because, just like most of you, I’ve had people who said they loved me but then

DEVOTIONAL BY BARRELL RICHARDSON FRUIT OF THE VINE

hurt me. Or there have been people in our lives who we’ve loved - but we have failed them. So how can love never fail? Well it depends on where you are seeking love and how you are choosing to love. The only love

that will NEVER fail is God’s love because God IS Love! For real! Look in the Bible at 1 John 4:7-21. “Be-

loved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent His only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him. And this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and His love is perfected in us.”

See Fam, not only is God love, but when we allow His love to shape our decisions in our own lives and how we treat others - God is expressed and demonstrated through us and we become more like Him. Give it a minute and let that sink in. When we know how God loves us and we begin to treat our family, people we date, our friends, and others the way God tells us to in 1 Corinthians 13, we become the very example of God and will let go of jealousy, bitterness, and anger that destroys us.

Instead we will be filled with His love and His peace. So, let’s do this together. Let’s make a vow to try to al-

low every decision, interaction, conversation, and thought as best as possible to be rooted in love. Because if we do this, we literally take God with

us every second of every day. And if we do that, then we are already winners in everything we do…because love never fails!!

Love you,

- Barrell

QUESTIONS

Reread 1 John 4:7-21 in your Bible.

1. Who is God to you?

2. How has God shown His love to you?

Be specific and write it down.

3. How can you show God’s love to others?

4. Will you commit to factor love in decisions you make? Be honest.

5. If we love like God loves, how would our life change?

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THE INBOX LETTERS TO OUR READERS FROM ADULT INMATES

FORGIVEN I was that boy in the house whose sex, alcohol, and drugs were TAKEN… Lost, wounded, neglected, I only knew the pain of being forsaken. Such pain, torment, and hopelessness drove me to despair, then I met a group of skinheads and found acceptance in their snare.

Skating and thrashing became the norm for me, ‘slapping the streets’ with ‘the boot boys’...oi… victimizing, sexing, and hiding my pain was key… I’d unknowingly locked myself into a prison chambered by hell, as all the crew were also enraged by their own cells… bound and trapped. Jesus was calling me out, but oh, so hurt, how could I ever tell? How would I ever trust another adult, since one had stolen my youth? I wondered aloud thru the pains, which turned only to further the abuse! Years of chaos spurred me on yelling to the world… “We are the youth gone wild!”

Busted and busted again, I am on my second trip to 34

the pen, I was so bound, tired of living enslaved, tired of me, I finally hit the ground. I cried out to God to save me from the animal within, unlock my cage, and please forgive me of all of my sins…

Forgiveness and cleansing rushed in as a mighty flood, such a love and healing purchased by Jesus’ blood! See, Jesus’ blood was shed to forgive us our sins, so you and I can be reconciled to The Father, my friend! The love of our Father is proved to be so great, we see it in the cross, so let us no longer hesitate. I urge you, receive Jesus as your Lord, and also, learn to trust Him with your life, you’ll find that you no longer have to be bound by strife.

Love, joy, peace, are some of the fruit in this new life in Christ, and soon you will realize a new found freedom and life! Let me assure you of this my friend, in Jesus you will have what it takes to win. I am praying you make the right choice, so we can all cry aloud…

I am now forgiven not forsaken. Amen.

-Sean

LETTERS TO OUR READERS FROM ADULT INMATES THE INBOX

hear the jailer coming, I gotta get ready to go.

I write a letter of love to my boys, so at least they Will the defendant please rise. By the power vested in will know. My cell door slowly opens, the jailer says, “Good news!!! Chris, you’re free to go, JESUS HAS me, for your sins I sentence you to die!

DIED FOR YOU!!!”

PART ONE: STATE “VS” CHRIS

You’re unfit for society. You’ve hurt too many people.

You’ve broken all the laws, and you are completely evil. Like Legion your crimes are many, fairness is a eye for an eye. You made all these decisions, so you do understand just why you can’t be rehabilitated.

People have given up on you. It’s not that no one loves you, it’s the behaviors that you do…

The court pronounces you habitual, because of the innocence that you stole and for the pain you caused your family.

May GOD have mercy on your soul. You neglected your three boys - they needed your time and your guidance, but you were always busy, so all they got was absence. They grew up without a father, so your granddaughter will never know you. You’ve gotten away with way too much, ‘cause everyone lied for you. You caused your boys great pain with inconsiderate and selfish fun.

So as you wait your final fate, think of the damage you have done. There is no hope for you, you’re the unforgiven thief on the cross. Your prayers no longer reach GOD; in this world you are lost. And the women that you’ve been with have not been your wife.

And you did not work for all the money that you took throughout your life. The corruption of this world has made your heart very lusty.

You broke your promise to GOD, so my sentence to you is given Justly. With the power vested in me, only one thing left to say. - get him out of my court “BAILIFF TAKE HIM AWAY!!!”

PART TWO: THE CELL Now here I sit with my head hung low, regretting all my sins. I think of my boys that I’ll probably never see again. I can’t blame no one else though, but I wish I could take it back. If I had another chance, I wouldn’t live like that. If someone could hear this sinner’s prayer, and really look inside my heart. If they could tell my boys I’ve changed, maybe I could see them before I depart. Still I know the things I’ve done, so I have to prepare myself. I know the things I put my boys through were harder than any death…

Alone here in my cell, I fall down to my knees. I cry out to the Heavens, “FATHER, FORGIVE ME PLEASE.” I

-Chris

A TRUE STORY ANGEL BY MY SIDE I went to move a bulldozer, The day my life was changed.

I remember it very clearly, Nothing different, nothing strange.

With the transmission disengaged, I got up to shut the door.

My foot slipped on the mat, I fell to my back upon the floor.

My back hit the activation rod, That started the track in reverse.

I listen as others tell it And it sounds like an evil curse.

It broke my leg when it started, Jerking me onto the track.

Crushing me between the track & cab As I lay helpless on my back.

My leg broke two more places, My hip got pulled apart.

Then my Angel of light showed up And gently touched my heart.

I went to touch this Angel, But it quickly disappeared.

Suddenly the dozer stopped!!!

They said “you must’ve hit a gear.”

Looking back I clearly see, The real truth of that day.

That I was touched by an Angel, In a very special way.

Giving thanks to this Angel Fills my heart with pride.

So I praise my Lord and Savior, For the Angel he sent by my side.

-Chris 35

FEATURED ARTIST TRE9

Q& A

Tre9 WITH

CHRISTIAN RAPPER, HUSBAND, FATHER OF 4 & FOUNDER OF EYES ON ME, INC.

1

What is your home town?

Houston, Texas. I grew up in the north side, actually known as Deep North by Sam Houston High School, Moody Park, etc.

2

What Label are you with?

Much Luvv Records.

I’m 10% owner in the label now. I sold it over to Brennan Bolin ‘cause I knew he had the time and capacity to do something with it. If I drop a record I’m not putting it under anyone else. Do I have an official record contract with them?

No. But Much Luvv is like the home team I rock with.

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3

What do you do for fun?

I like watching The Flash with my two younger sons. They like it and it gives me quality time with them and I like going to see all the Super Hero movies like – Marvel, DC Comics. I also like watching sports.

4

Which artists have influenced you the most musically?

Musically? There are so many, you have some early influences like Beastie Boys, RUN DMC, Eric B. and Rakim, NWA, - they all influenced me because I picked up rapping through listening to them. I’d say mostly 80s – 90s hip-hop and R&B. A lot of my songs have raps with R&B hooks.

You’ll also hear me remake 80s pop. Me and my daughter did a remake of a song

by The Zombies (Time of The Season) and one

by Christopher Cross, (Prayin). No one artist had one major influence on me cuz my tastes are really widespread. But many of those first influences in hip hop did teach me to fornicate, taught me to steal, to cuss, to not like police, etc.

Taught me that women were to be used for their bodies – all those things they influenced me to do – which were not good. I did like Public Enemy – because they were bold politically and were against racism, etc.

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5

What’s your favorite verse in the Bible?

Who do you listen to regularly?

7

What is your goal with your music?

Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God NGEN Radio. I really enjoy works for the good of those KB, Gawvi, Bizzle, Austin who love him, who have So, my goal is to captivate Lanier, and Stephen Mal- been called according to his the audience – and that’s colm. purpose.” Every tough time any hip hop head – through I’ve been through I have the music that I do, in order always known that it will to introduce them to Christ. work out for my good. I also The second wing of that is I proclaim that to everyone I try to give them something minister to. I have to stand in my songs that will provide with them and teach them a surface level discipleship. to have faith that if they are Meaning they can listen to obedient to God then God these songs that build their will use whatever they’re faith in Christ. So my main going through for good. goal for my music is evanIn 1987 I started writing This verse gives so much gelism and discipleship. rhymes. Started recording promise for the future - and in ‘92 on reel-to-reel and that’s why I love it. then had my first demo cassette in ‘93. I gave my life to Christ in ’94 and dropped my first 4-song EP in ’96 and the rest is history. I reFor one, I loved the original song by leased 5 albums and 1 EP. I The Zombies and always wanted to remake it. started Much Luvv Records Secondly, it’s because of the ministry work I do and dropped 13 albums with our organization, Eyes On Me. The biggest from other artists. issue we face is fatherlessness. So this song is written to girls who haven’t got a father in their life and don’t know how to receive love from a male. And so I wanted to put advice in there on what to do and what not to do as it related to dealing with males.

9

TRE9 FEATURED ARTIST

8

What is your favorite food?

I’m a chicken sandwich guy.

One of my favorites is the Chick-Fil-A chicken sandwich, add bacon and cheese.

When did you get started in music?

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Tell us about the song you dropped with your daughter, “Season for Loving.”

The “time of the season for loving” is just a way of saying that true love, genuine love is found in a relationship with God, which is kind of insinuated in one portion of the song. Other than that, it’s telling a story.

What messages do you hope to share through your album, War Cry?

That we as believers have to move from a comfortable “cultural Christianity” to a mindset of spiritual warfare like that of a soldier in an army. So, War Cry is sounding the alarm, so to speak, that now is the time to go to war because Satan continues to advance his kingdom - killing, stealing and destroying lives. It’s a war cry to wake up the sleeping giant, the Church, to get involved.

It’s like that rally in the 4th quarter of an NBA game and you see even the bench is up on their feet, rooting you on and supporting you. Whether you are one of the starters or on the bench – you all see the possibility that you can overcome the deficit and win the game. Everyone has a role, everyone is a part of the game. Often in the first quarter everyone is just sitting back, seeing how games are gonna go. But that time for us as Christians is over. I’m sayin’ we can do this.

We can take this neighborhood, this city, state, nation back. We gotta fight to the finish.

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FEATURED ARTIST TRE9

12

Tell us about a major challenge you faced growing up: The biggest challenge for me was being accepted by Black and Latino people because I was a minority in my neighborhood. I had to be embraced by them. They were the majority and so it’s either you fit in or you get ostracized or picked on or bullied.

15

How do you stay focused on Christ and not fame?

13

How did you overcome that challenge?

I played basketball well and I embraced hip hop and through those two mediums I just kinda became like the culture of my neighborhood. As a result I made friends and fit in.

16

Ever since I started rapping and doing it well for Christ, people have made me feel special, important, and famous by consuming my music, asking for autographs or being in awe of meeting me. That became a norm of being a Christian rapper to where I didn’t need it on a bigger On Valentines Day scale, I got it out of my system early. I released a 4-song EP with my DaughHaving matured in Christ and hav- ter, Teonna and a ing a song on the radio, I now know music video and I’m not going to get fulfilled or find the name of the purpose in that - because I had a EP (Extended Play) chance for that and know it doesn’t is First Step. You fulfill. I know it’s empty and shallow - can find it on YouTube, SoundCloud, it’s not meaningful. iTunes, or tre9.com.

Do you have any upcoming Albums?

So instead I take that fame - or that attention - and I funnel it toward the one I’m trying to make famous, which is Christ. I use that influence to point people to how great He is.

I’m happy people like my music, but I know who to give the Glory to. If you take God out of my life, I’m gonna be the selfish dude, like any other rapper with fame - selfishly hoarding money, trying to make themselves look good on the outside. I can be humble because I know who I was before and I never want it to be about me.

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14

How has that past challenge helped you in life?

I wouldn’t have had the heart, passion, and drive to do what I do in ministry ‘cause I’d feel like I couldn’t relate.

That time in my life is what prepared me to care about underserved communities ‘cause I came from one, and it also gave me the ability to relate with people in those areas. I don’t see color from the aspect of who I help. I don’t see Black, Hispanic, White, in any particular box – I know that every individual is different. Thankfully, I had a mom and a dad at home growing up which made things a lot more stable for me and helped me not to get caught up in gangs and criminal type stuff in the street.

That’s what saved me from going to streets. If I didn’t have dad or at least a really tough mom who was going to make sure I didn’t get into the wrong things, I’d have gone down that path.

Now, going back, that’s what we try to do - to put male mentors in the lives of young men and to give young people an opportunity I didn’t have. I never remember hearing about going to college or aspiring higher than graduating high school, so we show them those opportunities. Mom and dad dropped out early – for me graduating was the ceiling, so now many communities have set the bar so low.

We are setting the bar higher and giving these young men and women the resources they need to aim higher such as providing mentors, etc.

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What would you like to say to our readers?

That it’s not fair that they’ve had to figure out life without both parents in their life.

God never intended it to be that way; He’s always intended man and woman to have children and raise them according to His Word.

If you could give one gift to our readers, what would it be?

I also want to say that I, Tre9, apologize for the lack of men being involved in their life but want them to know that there is a way that God works to help fill in the gaps and that is by becoming a parent to the parentless and that’s through people who are His disciples.

A physical “Father” to guide them and help them spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally here on earth.

But it’s crucial that they reach out and submit their lives to someone they can trust as a spiritual parent, and no matter how long it takes to find that person, it’s worth it in the end.

Go find that person and allow them to mentor and disciple you into a productive father, mother, husband, wife, friend, daughter, son, and disciple of Christ.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who him, who have been called according to his purpose.

love

Romans 8:28

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FRESH PICKS MUSIC AND BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS

WAR CRY - Artist: Tre9, Genre: Hip Hop If you are a long-time reader of FRUIT. Magazine, you know we love Tre9! Besides being a genuinely great person, he is a very talented rapper. This is his latest album and trust me, y’all don’t want to sleep on it. The single “Pull Up On Ya Block (Generations Remix)” kept winning contests on NGEN Radio and is a regularly played song. That single also features Austin Lanier, who was on the cover of Issue 18, and KB! “War Cry,” “Teach Me Your Ways, Pt.2,” “Way Up,” and “Steady Rising” are all great songs that you should check out. What’s cool about Tre9 is he works with amazing rappers that we love such as Austin Lanier and Pyrexx but he is an amazing rapper himself! His songs drop some serious wisdom. He and the guys who rap with him really know what it’s like to live the street life, make fast money, and think about yourself over anyone else. Now, Tre9 can speak firsthand about how God has changed his life from that, to a life that really means something. If you are thinking of trying to change your life for the better, for it to mean something, you definitely need to listen to Tre9.

AIR FOR FREE - Artist: Relient K, Genre: Rock As a longtime fan of old Relient K, I’m always skeptical of new music but this album really surprised me! It shows maturity for the band while still feeling like the old Relient K. Many fans were not impressed with the album before this one, but Air For Free has redeemed them. It is full of fun and upbeat songs but the band was also able to talk about things that matter. Honestly, while looking through reviews of this album, almost every song was listed as a favorite by at least one person. My personal favorites are “Bummin’” because it feels like the perfect song to listen to in the fall, and “God” because it is really a great anthem about believing in God and is really encouraging. I also love “Mrs. Hippopotamuses’” because it feels like old school Relient K which is what I want from this band for the rest of my life. Other crowd pleasers are “Local Construction,” “Elephant Parade,” “Man,” “Runnin,” and “Heartache.” “Heartache” is actually the end of the album. Relient K is known for finishing their albums with a deep song where they get real about their emotions and this song is no exception as it is about seeking a fuller happiness. This album is really a home run for Relient K and is worth at least a few listens!

THE SUN IS ALSO A STAR - Author: Nicola Yoon, Genre: Fiction This book has won at least 12 different awards because it is just that good. On the surface it is about a girl whose family is hours away from possibly being deported and a boy who is tired of the pressure he is under meeting on a crowded street in New York City and falling in love. But this book is about much more than love at first sight between two unlikely people. It is just as much about the circumstances in their lives that lead up to people falling in love as it is about people falling in love. It’s about the lives of two teens just trying to navigate the world colliding together.

This book is told from the different perspectives of people in these two teens’ lives. Their love story is cliché and unlikely but told in a way that won’t make you cringe. It is one of those books that you just keep thinking about after you finish it. So go ahead and dive into The Sun Is Also A Star!

UNSPOKEN: What Men Won’t Talk About and Why - Author: Johnny Hunt, Genre: Nonfiction Talking about what you are personally dealing with is awkward and puts you at risk of being made fun of or criticized by the people around you. This often leads to most people, especially guys, just not talking about what they are going through or struggling with in their life. But the thing is, you are NOT alone. If you are a guy silently suffering with anything from a sex or pornography addiction to depression, this book is for you. It will give you guidance on dealing with all of these things and coming through on the other side. It will help you find a group of guys who you can talk to about these things. The author, Johnny Hunt, will help you deal with these real problems in your life by helping you process them in a healthy way and pointing you to Jesus.

If you are a girl, you should read this book, too! It may be written for guys but it will give you an idea of what guys go through and will help you relate to the guys you are close to in your life. It may also help you see that you are struggling with similar problems and help you deal with them in your life. Overall, no matter who you are, you are not alone in dealing with the things that are hard to talk about and this book is here to help you work through them.

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GOD’S

GRACE IS ENOUGH

TO COVER THE HOLE YOU DUG FOR YOURSELF. BUT

THAT DOESN’T MEAN

KEEP DIGGING...

BIZZLE 41

GANGS 2 GLORY BY JAMES ODOM

gangs 2 glory by james odom

GET OUT “O

nce you get in, you can’t get out.” This is something gang members are told when they decide to join a gang. Truth is, anyone can get out, anytime they want. So why are gang members scared to make that decision? Getting out of a gang isn’t cool, as a matter of fact, people will think you’re “weak” or “selling out on the hood.”

The first thing you need to know about getting out of a gang is that you’re not the only one who’s thought about it. Sure it’s fun in the beginning - representing the hood, flagging, drinking, smoking, hustling, hitting licks, getting into fights and building up your rank. The problem is, you can’t do any of these things without hurting your family, getting kicked out of school, doing some jail time, getting shot, getting jumped, or being harassed by the police.

It doesn’t take long for someone to realize that joining a gang was a mistake. Gangs expect you to give everything and usually give nothing in return. Sometimes the cost is losing respect from your loved ones and sometimes it’s losing your life. No one can tell you to get out of a gang; it has to be a choice that you make on your own. The sooner you make that decision, the better your chances are for having a successful life.

Some people don’t actually join gangs at all; they simply represent the “hood” by hanging out with known gang members, throwing up hand signs, or putting graffiti on their

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personal items. If this applies to you, the best way to slow down is to simply stop representing. Quit telling people what hood you claim, stop hanging out with gang members, quit throwing hand signs, and replace any personal belongings that have graffiti on them.

The sooner you stop representing, the sooner your problems will begin to decrease.

Some people hang out with cliques; this may apply to individuals who claim a specific park, street, block, rap group, party crew, or those dedicated to getting money and hustling. Although most cliques don’t consider themselves to be gangs, they do fit the state definition. Since cliques often operate without a leader and lack organizational structure, you have the opportunity to reason with them. Tell them you want to chill out and stop hanging out with them for a while ‘til things calm down. These groups usually don’t require an initiation, so they can be a little easier to walk away from.

Getting out of a street gang requires much more hard work and determination. This process can take anywhere from 6 months to 6 years.

Every gang is different and every gang has their own set of rules. This means there’s no “one way” to get out. You have to choose a technique that fits the gang you’re associated with. Below are a few techniques that youth have used to get out. Think about your situation and review the informa-

tion below. If you need help ask your probation officer for assistance.

FADE AWAY

“Fading away” is a process to gradually pull yourself away from the gang.

This is done by getting involved in positive alternatives and spending less time with the gang. Most gang members will say, “I’m trying to chill, but they keep asking me to come around.” This happens because the gang has learned to depend on the members who are always around. If you have an issue, you call a friend who is always there for you, not the one you haven’t heard from in a while, right? It’s the same thing with the gang.

The longer you stay away, the less frequently they will call you. Hanging out twice a month as opposed to every weekend teaches the gang not to rely on you. Once they get used to seeing you twice a month, switch to once a month and then every other month until they get used to the idea of not having you around.

Right around this time is when you start thinking, “yeah right, it’s not that easy.” You’re right again, it’s not.

You will need to come up with some concrete excuses to give the gang so they don’t trip when you’re not around. An excuse that most gangs accept is being on probation. By telling your gang that you can’t hang out with them because you’re on paper or have an ankle monitor, they will usually understand and back off. If you’re

BY JAMES ODOM GANGS 2 GLORY

off probation some good excuses are going to work, practice for sports or other activities, you are grounded, babysitting, or attending church.

JUMPED/CLIQUED OUT

This method is probably the most dangerous. It involves telling the gang that you want out and allowing the gang to arrange a time and place to physically beat you until they’ve decided you’re out. Sometimes this is a quick process that you can walk away from and sometimes it ends with a ride to the hospital - or worse.

Why would someone choose this option? It’s a way of showing honor to the gang by getting out the same way you got in. Although upset, most gangs will admire that you were direct instead of running away and will be less likely to have conflict with you after you are out.

ent. Most importantly, ALWAYS tell a friend when and where you’re going to attempt this process.

Remember, this is DANGEROUS and there are no promises that it will turn out well.

The “Jumped Out” process is only an option for extreme cases when a gang member cannot relocate. If you plan on remaining in the same community after getting out of a gang, this process may be an option. Since you are essentially earning the gang’s respect by getting out, they will often leave you alone following this process. This does not guarantee a friendship between you and them, but it lowers the risks of them intentionally harming you.

FAITH-BASED

This method is commonly used in the adult prison system as the ONLY way to get out. You simply get deeply in-

resort. This method takes the support of your entire family because the decision will impact every one of them.

How far you need to go depends on the gang you’re associated with. If you belong to a small neighborhood gang, moving to another side of the city should be sufficient. However, if you’re trying to leave a gang that operates in multiple areas around the city, you may need to move to another city.

The first step in this process is to sit down with your family and explain the seriousness of the situation. You will need to tell them how involved you really are with all of the details surrounding your decision to get out. This will be hard so be prepared.

Sometimes this process can be easier with someone by your side. Talk with your probation officer or find a counselor that you’re comfortable with to be with you as you discuss relocation

Remember, the longer you’re in a gang, the harder it is to get out. The longer you’re out, the more successful and happy you will be in life. You choose.

There are a few things you can do to increase your chances of walking away in one piece after getting jumped out. Observe how the gang responds to your request of getting out. Most gangs - if there are enough members present - will beat someone out as soon as they request it because they are offended. Being aware of this, you may have a little control over this process. If you can control the elements of getting “jumped out”, here are some things you should consider.

Wait until you are in an area that is highly visible before telling them you want out. The high visibility will likely ensure that the process is over more quickly. Make your request to get out earlier in the day. People tend to be less violent during early daytime hours and it is less likely that they will be drunk or under the influence of drugs - which means they will be thinking more rationally. Also wait until a week-day rather than a weekend as there will likely be less members pres-

volved with a local church, a youth group, and even Christian groups at your school. When the gang observes you building a relationship with “the man upstairs” they have the tendency to back off and distance themselves from you.

Although most gangs are not religious, they usually have respect for religious figures such as Jesus and the Virgin Mary. This means that if you are genuinely involved in a local church and the activities available to youth, the gang will recognize your interest and intentionally put some space between you and them. Most gangs don’t want some religious guy hanging around talking about God when they’re smoking, drinking, or hitting licks in the hood.

RELOCATION

Lastly, “Relocating” is always an option. This means your whole family must move to avoid further contact with the gang. This is usually the last

with your family. Once you have reloacted, the second step is to change your behavior and adapt to a new community. Often, after a gang member relocates to another neighborhood they are fine for a few months. But once they get comfortable, they begin to represent their old gang/neighborhood again. This always leads to more problems and ultimately puts you and your family in danger again.

The most important thing to remember is that getting out of a gang is just the beginning, STAYING OUT is the real challenge. Sometimes being a positive person can take some getting used to. Learning to walk away from a fight or looking the other way when someone is staring at you takes practice. If you can learn to exercise some of these techniques, the rewards can be great. Remember, the longer you’re in a gang, the harder it is to get out.

The longer you’re out, the more successful and happy you will be in life.

You choose.

43

DARKNESS CANNOT DRIVE OUT DARKNESS;

ONLY LIGHT CAN DO THAT. HATE CANNOT DRIVE OUT HATE;

ONLY LOVE CAN DO THAT. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

44

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45

N U CLEAN LIVING BY TERA SWIGART

R

on was 19 years old when he died. It wasn’t suicide, it wasn’t due to his past membership in a prominent gang, it wasn’t due to a drug deal gone wrong (as he had been a key supplier for years in the area of Houston where he grew up). In fact, after five years of almost constant incarceration and eventual release from TYC on parole, he had put most of that behind him.

lifestyle. He had a tough life and had made a lot of bad choices because of that, but he wanted to overcome it. He often wrote about how he didn’t want his younger brothers to follow in his footsteps and hoped to be a better example after he was released. He was excited that he had been accepted into the National Guard the year he was released from TYC.

The problem was that when he came home, it didn’t take long for those old friends to come knocking.

The lure of a good time and a desire to numb his emotions due to issues at home drew him back in despite his previous desire to change. One night while at a party with his usual group of friends, Ron convinced himself that it would be harmless for him to take some bars (Xanax). He had used them countless times in the past and he could always take 4-10 without a problem - or so he thought.

It is so easy to fall back into old patterns and unfortunately, that is what he did. I’m sharing this in the hope of encouraging those of you who want to change to not underestimate the power of those old peer influences and not to underestimate the power of drugs and alcohol. Xanax is an extremely dangerous drug when not properly prescribed and monitored by a legitimate doctor. It took away my best friend and has put countless people behind bars because of the stupid things they did while under its influence. I worked with a young man who was so barred out he didn’t even remember committing a violent crime for which he was then facing 25 years in prison.

That night, after taking his usual amount, Ron overdosed and fell into a coma. If the “friends” around him had not been as messed up as they were, they might have noticed in time to get him some help.

But they didn’t notice in time. When they were finally sober enough to realize something was wrong, it was too late. I lost a best friend of fourteen years that night. A mother and father had to bury their son and two boys lost an older brother who they looked up to and adored. He had few true friends at his funeral. Most of his “friends” showed up high - they had no idea who he truly was or who he really wanted to be.

While he was locked up, I was one of the few who wrote to him. I still have the letters where he told me how much he wanted to do something more meaningful with his life - how he wanted to change his 46

Whatever you choose to call it (bars, handle bars, triple stacks, double stacks, footballs, etc.) and regardless of dose, it is all the same drug. The name of the drug is Alprazolam. The generic name is Xanax. Alprazolam is supposed to be used for the treatment of Major Anxiety. Major Anxiety has to be diagnosed by a doctor.

Even when prescribed and used appropriately, Xanax can still cause some potentially dangerous side effects including: irritability, dizziness, insomnia, headache, abnormal involuntary movement, decreased libido (lower sex drive), depression, muscular twitching, diarrhea, constipation, and nausea/vomiting. Xanax is also extremely addictive and tolerance to the drug develops quickly. Because of this, when discon-

M B

BY TERA SWIGART CLEAN LIVING

tinuing use of Xanax, doctors are very careful to taper people off the medication (slowly lower the dosage). Below is an excerpt from the Alprazolam information packet put out by the distributor, Greenstone, describing the dangers of withdrawal from Xanax.

high risk of death.

Not only are people using Xanax to get high, they are usually using well over the maximum recommended daily dosage which leads to overdose. Symptoms of overdose include confusion, blurred vision, rage, impaired coordination, diminished reflexes, black outs (when you don’t remember what happened while you were on the medication), coma and death. Death has been reported due to overdose of

“Certain adverse clinical events, some life-threatening, are a direct consequence of physical dependence to Alprazolam. These include a spectrum of withdrawal symptoms; A MOTHER AND FATHER HAD TO BURY THEIR SON AND TWO BOYS LOST AN the most important OLDER BROTHER THEY LOOKED UP TO AND ADORED. HE HAD FEW TRUE FRIENDS is seizure, even after AT HIS FUNERAL. MOST OF HIS “FRIENDS” SHOWED UP HIGH - THEY HAD NO IDEA relatively WHO HE TRULY WAS OR WHO HE REALLY HOPED TO BE. shortterm use at the doses recommended for the treatment of transient anxiety and anxiety disorder (i.e., .75 Alprazolam by itself and when combined with even to 4.0 mg per day). Signs and symptoms of withdraw- low levels of alcohol. Most people who use this al are often more prominent after rapid decrease of drug illegally are gambling with their life every dosage or abrupt discontinuance. The risk of with- time they take it. They assume because they have drawal seizures may be increased at doses above used it before without problems that the next time they will, too. Ron’s story proves that thinking is 4mg a day.” false. Have you ever blacked out while on Xanax, not Alprazolam is a CNS depressant. What that means remembering parts of the night before? If so, YOU is that it slows down brain activity. It also slows res- were overdosing! piration (breathing) and heart rate. When the medication is not prescribed and is used beyond the I urge you to take this seriously and to share this inrecommended daily dosage of 4mg a day (which is formation with anyone you know who uses Xanax like taking two bars) breathing and heart rate will be to get high. If I had this information at the time, further slowed. This is what can lead to coma and Ron might still be alive. I share his story now as death. Furthermore, alcohol and many pain medi- my tribute to him, that the loss of his life might be cations are also CNS depressants. When Xanax used to save others. is used illegally - to get high or when mixed with alcohol or other CNS depressants - there is a very 47

HEY LADIES BY TERA SWIGART

When to Leave... and find your true love.

Hey Ladies, this is Ms. Tera. I’m the one who started FRUIT. Magazine. I want to encourage you to end those toxic relationships and to rise above your past to treat yourself like the amazing, strong, resilient, kind women you are and to not EVER allow anyone to treat you like you are less than that. I see you as my daughters in Christ. When I read your letters describing how men (or boys) have treated you, it makes me so angry I want to fight someone. Like, pop-off-my-earrings-kick-off-myshoes-and-throw-down, fight. I know that isn’t the proper response, so I fight for you on my knees in my prayers. I truly love you ladies. You are so valuable and worthy of the best kind of love. I’m asking you to please fight for yourselves – for your futures. You need time to heal from the things you’ve endured in your past to become the women you were created to be. You do NOT need a boyfriend to do that - they just get in the way. You only need ONE MAN – a REAL MAN to do that - Jesus. He has loved you since he created you and will always love you more than any guy ever could. I also want you to remember that I love you, I’m praying for you, and I BELIEVE IN YOU! Here are some common lies girls often believe that keep them in toxic relationships and the truth behind those lies.

Are you believing any of these lies in your relationships? If so, it is time to move on.

48

LIE: “He gets so jealous and angry because he loves me so much.”

TRUTH: First, he does not understand love. He wants you, he wants to possess you and he thinks that is love.

He wants you to be his for his own purposes, so HE feels loved, so HE feels special, so HE feels strong. That is selfishness and selfishness is the opposite of true love.

True love is about sacrifice and mutual respect. Think about it. His motives are always about what HE wants.

True love trusts and respects. Secondly, HIS FEELINGS DON’T MATTER. Hear me out. Even if he “loves” you, it does not justify hurting you, having jealous rages, or controlling you. It doesn’t matter what he feels. That is no excuse. When someone doesn’t trust you and/or treat you with respect, then they are NOT who you need to be with, regardless of feelings. Feelings can lead you astray – sometimes you have to use your head. The feelings will fade in time and you will be glad you stood up for yourself.

LIE: “He says he will change.”

TRUTH: There is a key word in that sentence and it is the same word they will use over and over if you allow it. The word is “WILL.” It’s always in the future. I “WILL” never do that again. If someone loves you and is a healthy person to be in a relationship with, they won’t treat you in a way that they need to apologize for, period. Someone who re-

BY TERA SWIGART HEY LADIES

ally believes what they did was wrong will change on their own because it is the right thing to do, whether you stay with them or not. Don’t fall for it. You are not married, do not waste your time with someone who is already doing things they need to constantly apologize for – especially if that includes any type of abuse.

LIE: “No one will ever love me like that again.”

TRUTH: I know this is a big fear, the fear of being alone.

But listen, I HOPE no one will ever “love” you like that again! Jesus already loves you more than anyone ever will. And if you stay close to him, he will fulfill your desire to be loved. And if it is his will for you to be in a relationship, he will lead you to guys who will truly love you in a way you never knew possible. Don’t fall for the lie. You will not be alone and if you keep healthy boundaries, you will find someone safe, loving, fun, and caring. Don’t settle. Let me repeat that. Don’t settle.

LIE: “We are meant to be together.”

TRUTH: NO, you aren’t. It may seem like it because you have broken up and gotten back together so many times but the truth is, you just need to broaden your vision. You end up back with them like you go back to a bad habit.

You have to create new habits. You need to find some new friends and new places to hang out to break that cycle. I guarantee you that God has not planned for you to be with someone who treats you less than you should be treated as His daughter. He would not plan for you to be with someone who leads you into sin and away from him.

Would you allow your daughter to date someone who hit her? Who called her names or controlled her? Who was a bad influence on her and put her in unsafe situations? No, you would want a good man for her. God wants nothing less than that for you.

LIE: “I can’t leave him.”

TRUTH: YES YOU CAN. It will be hard but you CAN do it. You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength (Philippians 4:13). There is no weapon formed against you that shall prevail (Isaiah 54:17). If you set God always before you, He will be at your right hand, and with God at your right hand you will not be shaken (Psalm 16:8). God is able to do abundantly more than all we can ask or imagine according to his power at work within us (Ephesians 3:20). Seek help from a parent, counselor, or friend who you know will ask you questions to make sure you are not communicating with him.

Find a job and/or hobbies to keep you busy. Start healthy habits like exercising daily – when you make small healthy choices daily, it will give you the desire to be healthy in all areas of your life. It will also help you feel less lonely or depressed. Stay safe - take a friend with you when you go out. Join a youth group and go to their Bible studies and parties. Most importantly, cut off communication. Block them from your social media and unfollow them. Delete

their number and old texts/photos from your phone – I PROMISE IT WILL BE FOR THE BEST. Then pray, pray, pray. Focus on who you ARE and who you ARE going to be. Focus on the future and not the past.

LIE: “There aren’t any nice guys.”

TRUTH: Yes, there are. But first let me say, I STRONGLY urge you to take at least a year to be completely single and focus on accomplishing some goals like doing better in school, joining a church and youth group, getting a job, thinking about what you might like to do with your life, and receiving counseling to deal with past experiences and learn new coping skills. Get comfortable being by yourself – not needing a boyfriend.

THEN once you become comfortable being by yourself and have a strong relationship with Jesus – you may be ready to think about dating. When that time comes, know that there ARE good guys out there, you just haven’t given them the time of day. You know it’s true. I was once there. I liked the “bad boy.” I wanted the tough guy who seemed strong, fearless, exciting. But most of those guys are also incredibly selfish, cheat on you, they continue struggling with addictions, are in and out of jail/prison, leave their children, or end up passing away. We CANNOT change anyone, and trying just wastes our time and ends up hurting us.

Maybe you aren’t the type to look for the “bad boy” but have believed the lie that because of your past no “good guy” will ever want to be with you so you settle for less than what you deserve. When you give your life to Jesus, you are a new creation, you are cleansed from all the things in your past and you are forgiven. It may take time to work through a lot of the shame you feel but you are not bound by your past. A true good guy will only value you more for overcoming your past. If someone does hold that against you - then he is NOT a good guy.

I wish you could all experience what it’s like to have a guy who treats you as a best friend - who respects and trusts you. I learned my lesson and found a man who is strong, good looking, is a talented musician, an amazing father, has great fashion sense, and LOVES JESUS! I just had to stop going for the wrong guys. We are best friends. He never checks my phone or email or cares if I’m hanging out with old friends because he trusts me completely and I trust him completely. He puts the needs of our family above his own needs and that just makes me love him more. He makes me laugh harder than anyone and he makes me feel safe and cared for every day. When we argue, he doesn’t yell, scream, name call, or put his hands on me. Instead, we argue then we usually pray and come to a solution and apologize to one another within an hour.

I’m never afraid of him or afraid that he will leave me or cheat on me.

There are guys like him and like Tre9 and Bizzle and Calvin out there for you, ladies; you just need to give them a chance and not settle for an imposter. Hint – you will most likely find them in a youth group at church.

49

HEY LADIES BY TERA SWIGART

Characteristics to watch for in potential guys to date.

Green – These are great characteristics,

still take the relationship very slowly to make sure they aren’t really good actors – but these are generally the characteristics you want to look for in a guy.

He goes to church regularly He reads his Bible He attends youth group events His friends make good choices His closest friends also follow Christ He is polite to you and others He opens doors for you He shows respect to authority He shows respect to others He tells the truth He is often kind to strangers

He laughs and smiles often He doesn’t get jealous He doesn’t try to make you jealous He trusts you He doesn’t pressure you to have sex He is waiting til marriage to have sex He takes an interest in things you like He feels like a close friend He helps you do well in school He encourages you to reach goals He makes good grades

He doesn’t get into trouble at school He’s cool with you having friends He has a plan for his future and is working toward it He talks to you if he’s upset You always feel safe around him He has a good relationship with his family/guardians He doesn’t use drugs or alcohol He isn’t easily angered He makes good choices regularly He encourages your time with God

Yellow– Caution! Slow it WAY down. If these characteristics start popping up, you need to slow the relationship way down and consider ending it before it gets worse.

He loses his temper He makes a few bad decisions He gets into trouble at school He starts hanging out with friends who do not make good choices He seems more moody

He stops going to church He stops reading his Bible He stops attending youth events You notice him becoming jealous He begins gossiping about others He starts asking where you are more

He starts to make small comments about how you dress He seems jealous of time you spend with friends He seems more distant with his family His grades start to go down He doesn’t have any future goals

Red – STOP! GET OUT NOW! These are deal

breakers. If any of these characteristics show up, you need to end the relationship immediately.

GET OUT NOW. Talk to someone, get the help you need and CUT OFF Communication.

He hits you, pushes you, or puts his hands on you in anger He was/is abusive to someone else He checks your phone He tells you what you “can” wear He gets very jealous, even of strangers He calls you names when he is mad He pressures you to have sex He cheats on you He calls/texts you constantly He gets angry if he doesn’t know where you were

50

He tells you who you are “allowed” to hang out with He gets jealous of the time you spend with your family or friends He talks bad about your family He wants you to move in with him He drinks alcohol He uses drugs He screams when he is angry He gets into fights He breaks the law

He lies to you or others You argue often He’s in a gang He throws things when angry His mood changes rapidly He says, “I’ll never do it again” or “I’ll be better” He watches pornography He never encourages you to do good He has no positive goals He doesn’t follow God

A woman’s heart must be so

hidden in God that a man has to seek Him to find her.

-Maya Angelou

51

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