inside
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On the Cover The Star Splanged Banner An Unexpected Oasis From Us To You Spotlight on Lee County Professional Directory Angel Encounter Times Have Changed Financial Column Kids Observe Life Snake Bites in Our Pets The Simple Life The Wends of Texas On Happiness The Aging of Mickey Davam Urgent Care Loebau Baseball Rat Racing for the Simple Life The World’s Best Potato Salad
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Just Stay Before It’s Too Late Hemp Seeds are Superfoods Dirt Don’t Hurt
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The Star Spangled Banner
On a rainy September 13, 1814, British warships sent a downpour of shells and rockets onto Fort McHenry in Baltimore Harbor, relentlessly pounding the American fort for 25 hours. The bombardment, known as the Battle of Baltimore, came only weeks after the British had attacked Washington, D.C., burning the Capitol, the Treasury and the President’s house. It was another chapter in the ongoing War of 1812. A week earlier, Francis Scott Key, a 35-year-old American lawyer, had boarded the flagship of the British fleet on the Chesapeake Bay in hopes of persuading the British to release a friend who had recently been arrested. Key’s tactics were successful, but because he and his companions had gained knowledge of the impending attack on Baltimore, the British did not let them go. They allowed the Americans to return to their own vessel but continued guarding them. Under their scrutiny, Key watched on September 13 as the barrage of Fort McHenry began eight miles away.
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“It seemed as though mother earth had opened and was vomiting shot and shell in a sheet of fire and brimstone,” Key wrote later. But when darkness arrived, Key saw only red erupting in the night sky. Given the scale of the attack, he was certain the British would win. The hours passed slowly, but in the clearing smoke of “the dawn’s early light” on September 14, he saw the American flag—not the British Union Jack—flying over the fort, announcing an American victory. Key put his thoughts on paper while still on board the ship, setting his words to the tune of a popular English song. His brother-in-law, commander of a militia at Fort McHenry, read Key’s work and had it distributed under the name “Defence of Fort M’Henry.” The Baltimore Patriot newspaper soon printed it, and within weeks, Key’s poem, now called “The Star-Spangled Banner,” appeared in print across the country, immortalizing his words—and forever naming the flag it celebrated.
Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers The New Priest A new priest, born and raised in Newfoundland, comes to serve in an Ontario city parish and is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions. The old priest suggests, “Cross your arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand and try saying things like ‘yes, I see,’ and ‘yes, go on,’ and ‘I understand.’ The new priest crosses his arms, rubs his chin with one hand and repeats all the suggested remarks to the old priest. The old priest says, “Now, don’t you think that’s a little better than slapping your knee and saying, “No way, what happened next?” Unacceptable Tax Return I believe we have found a man with a fine grasp of the basic underlying problems of our society. The IRS has returned the Tax Return to a man in Kansas City after he apparently answered one of the questions incorrectly. In response to the question, ... “Do you have anyone dependent on you?” The man wrote: “ 7.1 million illegal immigrants, 1.1 million crack-heads, 4.4 million unemployable scroungers, 80,000 criminals in over 85 prisons, plus the majority of the 450 idiots in Congress, a group that call themselves “Politicians.” The IRS stated that the response he gave was unacceptable. The man’s response back to the IRS was...” Who did I leave out?” Now We Know Why He Was a General ... In an interview, General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harboured and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America. His answer was classic Schwarzkopf: The General said, “I believe that forgiving them is God’s function... OUR job is to arrange the meeting.”
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An
Unexpected Oasis
Home of Charles & Margaret Mersiovsky Giddings, Texas
For many years Charles Mersiovsky had a dream of owning the property where his home presently sits. In the early 2000’s the property came up for sale and Charles jumped at the chance to purchase it. Builder by trade, Designer by nature, in 2004 Charles and Margaret built their dream home. This three bedroom, two bath home sits among beautiful trees, plants and water features. Charles graduated High School in 1958, did a three year stint in the Navy and then went to work with his father, Harry Mersiovsky. Harry opened M&M Lumber & Construction in 1951. By 1980, Charles bought the company. During his years at M&M, he built hundreds of homes and commercial buildings, in Giddings and surrounding towns. In 1963, Charles married the love of his life, Margaret and together they had two daughters, Monica and Sandi. Monica currently lives in Kyle and Sandi lives on the home place.
The Mersiovskys take great pride in their little paradise...Charles keeps the grounds manicured and is very proud of all the different trees he has planted on the property. Some of the trees are Bald Cypress trees which he grew from seedlings. Margaret stays busy tending all the flower beds, fruit trees and taking care of their 10 mules...which is down from 19. Charles and Margaret have always been very active in the Giddings community. Charles served as a volunteer firefighter for 20 years, several of those years as Fire Chief. He was also a Charter Member of Ducks Unlimited, Giddings Chapter as well as Rocky Mountain Elk Foundation, Lee County Chapter. Margaret says, “It’s a lot of work but we absolutely love it here.” Margaret also worked at M&M...she laughingly says she was Charles’ “personal” secretary. If you are ever driving to Giddings on U.S. Hwy 77 and notice an unexpected oasis....wave as you pass the home of Charles and Margaret.
F
rom us to you Editors Note
A
s Summer introduces itself in a blistering way...the staff at the Lee County Front Porch is rapidly preparing to go to press in July.
As we work on the magazine we are reminded of a simpler life experienced when growing up. A life when Sundays brought families together, kids kept busy with chores not cell phones and ipads, and time seemed to crawl at a snail’s pace...we could go on and on but instead will invite you to read our theme intro story on page 21. As we begin our second year of publication, we are ever hopeful that each edition is improved in some way. We want to give you the best in history, humor, health and inspiration. With the idea of best, let us say how much we appreciate our writers, advertisers and readers. We are always looking for new talent and we love to hear reader feedback about what you enjoyed reading and what you would like to see in the pages of the Lee County Front Porch Magazine. Please contact us with your ideas.
Thank you for joining us in 2018!
Sincerely, Sandi Balcar Editor Whitney Faske Advertising Manager
S
potlight on
Lee County’s
Unique Heritage
People in all walks of life influence those around them. In this column, we will be featuring those who have made an impact in our small towns.
Daniel Schultz Woodcrafting...
ousels that play music and spin. All are made of cedar from the area. He starts with a cut board and creates the tiny pieces needed to put the designs together. All the parts work, even down to the hydraulics. These creations have very tiny wood pieces and can be fragile. These are not toys you want you children to play with.
Inspired by his father, a woodcrafter, at 10 years old Daniel made his first toy...a peanut thrasher. After retirement he started woodcrafting full time. He put his items up for sell, but after realizing that no one wanted to buy them he started donating his creations to local auctions. The toys started gaining in popularity and people wanted to buy his items. Daniel decided he didn’t want money for what he loves to do, woodcrafting and helping his community. So if you want a Schultz original, it will have to be purchased at an auction. Daniel never thought that his pieces would make as much money for the auctions as they have. Some items have sold for $5,000. For live auctions he creates larger, more elaborate pieces and uses the smaller pieces for the silent auctions. He keeps a large stockpile on hand for those unexpected fund raisers. The attention to detail is what makes these toys so unique. Most of his crafting is of equipment like dozers, backhoes, fire trucks, cattle trailers and trains. He also makes pieces like car-
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The next auction where you will be able to find these unique pieces is the South Lee County auction in August. His craftings are highly sought after, so check out the auctions in Lee County., but be prepared to get into a bidding war. Daniel and his wife, Ruby, each have their own hobbies. Ruby sews quilt tops for the community church (St. Paul Serbin) while Daniel works in his shop. Daniel says, “we both have our hobbies and we love it!”
professional directory Ag & Land Lender Capital Farm Credit
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Ben’s Body & Paint
7
Automobile Repair
Copies/Printing/UPS/Fax/Notary
ImageMaker 2 Cosmetics Seacret 29 Dozer Faske’s Custom Work 35 Graphic Design ImageMaker 2 justdoit4me.com 15 Electrical & Construction JKF Services Inc. 39 Feed Faust Farms 19 Grimm Feeds 33 Financial Trivent Financial 16 Florist The Secret Garden 41 Furniture Orsag’s Furniture & Appliances 44 Hardware Ace Hardware 25 Health Care Davam Urgent Care 30 Hospice Brazos Valley 34
Household Wares Gourmet Divas 13 Insurance Germania Insurance 31 The Nitsche Group 14 Siegler Insurance 41 Livestock Commission Caldwell Livestock Commission 27 Lexington Livestock Commission 17 Lumber Company Goodson-Voight 27 Woodson Lumber Company 18 Museum Texas Wendish 11 Newspaper Fayette County Record 37 Oil Lease and Well Service Diamond P 37 Pest Control Armstrong Pesticide Solutions 15 Photography Ida Schuman 8 Whitney Faske 10 Quilting Someday Quilts 26 Radio Station KGID 38 Real Estate Becky Schenk-Coldwell Banker 39 Home and Ranch 3 Real Estate Listings Home and Ranch 5
Restaurants City Meat Market Elvira’s Cafe Los Patrones Grill Rodeo Lee County Sheriff ’s Possee Trailer Repair K&K Vitamins/Supplements Roots & Shoots
41 7 17 44 39
sandi balcar layout & design EDITOR
WHITNEY FASKE
SALES AND MARKETING PHOTOGRAPHY
SCHUMAN PHOTOGRAPHY photographer contributing writers
BRANDY ADAMS JOYCE BISE ERIC CLEMONS SUZY COHEN AGNES HANES SARAH HARLAN eRICH lEHMANN bECKY sCHENK Lucy Torn BECKY WEISE
Phone 979.567.7871 979.540.7168 301 Hwy 21 E Caldwell, TX 77836 www.leecountyfrontporch.com
The contents of all articles do not represent the views of the Front Porch Magazine. The magazine claims no responsibility for the accuracy of information or content.
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Angel Encounter?
You be the Judge! Author Unknown Courtesy of TruthBooks.com People from all over the world have reported encounters with mysterious beings. They appear to bring important messages or lend much-needed assistance, then vanish without a trace. Could they be angels or even guardian angels? Some of the most fascinating and uplifting stories of the unexplained are those that people perceive as being miraculous in nature. Sometimes they take the form of answered prayers or are interpreted as the actions of guardian angels. These remarkable events and encounters lend comfort, strengthen faith, and even save lives. They almost always seem to happen when they are needed most. Are they literally from heaven, or are they the result of the interaction of our consciousness with a profoundly mysterious universe? However you view them, these real-life experiences are worth our attention.
Life’s a little thing! Robert Browning once wrote. But a little thing can mean a life. Even two lives. How well I remember. Two years ago in downtown Denver my friend, Scott, and I saw something tiny and insignificant change the world, but no one else even seemed to notice. It was one of those beautiful Denver days. Crystal clear, no humidity, not a cloud in the sky. We decided to walk the ten blocks to an outdoor restaurant rather than take the shuttle bus that runs up and down the Sixteenth Street Mall. The restaurant, in the shape of a baseball diamond, was called The Blake Street Baseball Club. The tables were set appropriately on the grass infield. Many colorful pennants and flags hung limply overhead. As we sat outside, the sun continued to beat down on us, and it became increasingly hot. There wasn’t a hint of a breeze, and heat radiated up from the tabletop. Nothing moved, except the waiters, of course. And they didn’t move very fast, either. After lunch Scott and I started to walk back up the mall. We both noticed a mother and her young daughter walking out of a card shop toward the street. She was holding her daughter by the hand while reading a greeting card. It was immediately apparent to us that she was so engrossed in the card that she did not notice a shuttle bus moving toward her at a good clip. She and her daughter were one step away from disaster when Scott started to yell. He hadn’t even gotten a word out when a breeze blew the card out of her hand and over her shoulder. She spun around and grabbed at the card, nearly knocking her daughter over. By the
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time she picked up the card from the ground and turned back around to cross the street, the shuttle bus had whizzed by her. She never even knew what almost happened. To this day two things continue to perplex me about this event. Where did that one spurt of wind come from to blow the card out of that young mother’s hand? There had not been a whisper of wind at lunch or during our long walk back up the mall. Secondly, if Scott had been able to get his words out, the young mother might have looked up at us as they continued to walk into the bus. It was the wind that made her turn back to the card - in the one direction that saved her life and that of her daughter. The passing bus did not create the wind. On the contrary, the wind came from the opposite direction. I have no doubt it was a breath from God protecting them both. But the awesomeness of this miracle is that she never knew. As we continued back to work, I wondered how God often acts in our lives without our being aware. The difference between life and death can very well be a little thing. Miracles often blow unseen through our lives.
Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers DTouché’ How different the mind of a peaceful man than that of a hate filled man. “A soft answer turneth away wrath” and a kind word heaps coals upon the head of an adversary.”
Mr. Netanyahu, who is literate in Arabic, pondered the note and decided how best to reciprocate. He quickly did so by sending the Hamas leader an equally handsome package, also containing a personal note.
ISRAELI P.M. B. NETANYAHU responds to a disgusting gesture with utter class.....
Mr. Mashal and the other leaders of Hamas were very surprised to receive the parcel and opened it, very carefully, similarly suspecting that it might contain a bomb. But to their surprise, they saw that it contained a tiny computer chip.
Netanyahu received an item from the leader of HAMAS. During the recent cease-fire, the leader of the Palestinian terrorist organization Hamas, Khaled Mashal, sent a “gift”. Actually, it was a gesture of hate and contempt to the Prime Minister of Israel Benjamin Netanyahu, in an elaborate box, with a note. After having the box checked for safety reasons, Prime Minister Netanyahu opened the box and saw that the content was cow dung. He opened the note, handwritten in Arabic by Mr. Mashal, which said, “For you and the proud people of the Zionist Entity.”
BEST POLITICAL QUOTE OF ANY ERA: “The Budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed, lest Rome will become bankrupt. People must again learn to work instead of living on public assistance.” Attributed to Cicero, 55 B.C. So, we’ve evidently learned nothing over the past 2,073 years!
The chip was rechargeable with solar energy, had a 1.8 terabyte memory, and could output a 3D hologram display capable of functioning in any type of cellular phone, tablet or laptop. It was one of the world’s most advanced technologies, with a tiny label, stating this item was “Invented and produced in Israel.” Mr. Netanyahu’s note, personally handwritten in Arabic, Hebrew, French, and English, stated very courteously. “Every leader can only give the best his people can produce.”
Times have changed but we remain the same… The Nitsche Group has stood the test of time. What started in 1949, with two employees and a tiny office, has grown into nine offices across Texas and 125 employees. So much has changed since then, but so much remains the same. While still embracing their small town roots and thinking of themselves as a family, including their clients, they continue to grow and bring new people into their family. Nina Smith, who has been with The Nitsche Group since 1975 says, “even though we have grown so large, we still know everyone and treat each other as family.” Margaret Lehmann and Joyce Hinze joke about how much they complained when they had to give up their typewriters and switch to computers in 91’ and now they are wishing they had 4 monitors and not just three! Their business is driven by their core values of integrity, authenticity, expertise and trust. This Group takes a lot of pride in contributing to the success of others. From providing scholarships for bettering education to hosting fundraisers for employees and local families in need, Relay for Life, Emmett Hannes Memorial 5K, Jamin & Linda Barrett Nitsche Memorial Scholarship Funds, The Special Olympics, Military Care Packages, the Little Warriors, The Wounded Warrior Project, Lutheran Foundation of Teas Charitable Trust Fund are just some of the projects that are near and dear to their hearts. “I believe our longevity stems from our idea of success. We don’t just measure our performance based on numbers and dollar signs. We focus on how well our clients are doing, and what their successes are.” – Robert Nietsche Approaching every relationship with respect and getting to know their clients so that they can create the perfect program for each and every one. There is a lot of truth in this old cliché, “actions speak louder than words.” Because at The Nitsche Group each and every person, team member and carrier is treated with the same care and responsibility as the next.
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Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers New High School Teacher After retiring, a former Marine Corps Gunnery Sergeant took a new job as a high school teacher. Just before the school year started, he injured his back. He was required to wear a light plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn’t noticeable when he wore his suit coat. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart-a** punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and he knew they would be testing his discipline in the classroom. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. With a strong breeze blowing it made his tie flap. He picked up a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest. Dead silence in the classroom. The rest of the year went very well.
Optimism is going after Moby Dick in a rowboat taking the tartar sauce with you!”
************** The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play. “Here’s a copy of the service,” he said impatiently. “But, you’ll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances.” During the service, the minister paused and said, “Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up.” At that moment, the substitute organist played “The Star Spangled Banner.” And that is how the substitute became the regular organist! Now We Know Why He Was a General ... In an interview, General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harboured and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America. His answer was classic Schwarzkopf: The General said, “I believe that forgiving them is God’s function... OUR job is to arrange the meeting.”
just doit4me
.com
because you don't have time
Becky Weise
justdoit4me.com because you don't have time. weisefarms@gmail.com
Financial Column Contact: Erich Lehmann
E-mail:erich.lehmann@thrivent.com
Phone: 979-338-9998
So you won the “lottery”? Time to prepare, not spend. The tale is not uncommon. A person comes into a large amount of money through some financial windfall – like a “lottery” payout – and rather than helping their financial situation, the money is quickly wasted away sometimes leaving the person worse off than before. For most people, winning the lottery isn’t in the cards, but it’s possible to experience a financial windfall. Indeed, what many don’t realize is that it’s far likelier that a large amount of money may land in one’s lap through an inheritance, proceeds from the sale of a business or lump-sum payments from retirement plans versus winning big in Las Vegas, an event that requires someone to beat the odds. But that windfall can quickly turn into a nightmare if it’s not handled correctly. Stress and anxiety often accompany unexpected wealth, and for good reason. Typically, many people who receive a large sum of money spend it all within a few years and sometimes amass more debt than they had before the windfall. How does one avoid this? Below are a few simple tips from Thrivent Financial, which can help you sidestep the pitfalls that often accompany unexpected wealth. • Resist the temptation to spend – Buying that sports car or taking a cruise is a natural impulse, but waiting a few months to explore all options is a good idea. In the short term, consider depositing the money into an interest-bearing bank account that keeps the windfall safe. • Put it in perspective – With the extra bucks may come additional tax obligations. Before sharing, saving or spending, set aside enough money to cover the taxes of a potentially
higher income tax bracket. • Reevaluate goals and budget – Sudden wealth may dramatically affect one’s goals. Regardless, continue to think about the long term and carefully track your goals and budget. • Review estate and retirement strategies – Update wills and review estate tax issues. Doing so ensures the right transfer of wealth based on new circumstances. • Share – Set aside some money for family, a favorite charity or congregation. • Seek professional help – A professional can provide sound recommendations and innovative solutions to help manage a windfall in ways that reflect one’s values while helping them stay focused on their long-term goals. Financial windfalls can be managed in a way that is both enjoyable and fiscally responsible. Working with a financial professional may help ensure that the windfall helps secure your future, not jeopardize it. This article was prepared by Thrivent Financial for use by local representative Erich R. Lehmann. He can be reached at 979338-9998. Required Disclosure
Insurance products issued or offered by Thrivent Financial, the marketing name for Thrivent Financial for Lutherans, Appleton, WI. Not all products are available in all states. Securities and investment advisory services are offered through Thrivent Investment Management Inc., 625 Fourth Ave. S., Minneapolis, MN 55415, a FINRA and SIPC member and a wholly owned subsidiary of Thrivent. Thrivent Financial representatives are registered representatives of Thrivent Investment Management Inc. If requested, a Thrivent Financial representative may contact you and financial solutions, including insurance, may be solicited. Guarantees are backed by the financial strength and claims paying ability of Thrivent Financial for Lutherans. 1981370-010118
Contact me to learn more.
WISDOM STARTS WITH WHAT’S IN YOUR HEART, NOT IN YOUR WALLET 16
Your financial choices are more than numbers. They make a statement about your beliefs. I can help you make sure your family’s financial security is protected with life insurance and financial products that are deeply rooted in your values. Take this opportunity to align your financial choices with what you really want for your family’s future. Call me today.
Erich R Lehmann, CLTC® Financial Consultant 979-338-9998
29586K N9-17
Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Dr. Geezer’s Clinic A retired doctor became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: “Dr. Geezer’s Clinic. Get your treatment for $500. If not cured, get back $1,000.” Doctor Young, who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $$$. So he went to Dr. Geezer’s clinic. Dr. Young: “Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?” Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.” Dr. Young: “Aaagh! -- This is gasoline!” Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.” Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money. Dr. Young: “I have lost my memory; I cannot remember anything.” Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.” Dr. Young: “Oh, no you don’t ... that is gasoline!” Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.” Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days. Dr. Young: “My eyesight has become weak; I can hardly see anything!” Dr. Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that so, here’s your $1000 back” (giving him a $10 bill). Dr. Young: “But this is only $10!” Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.” Moral of story: Just because you’re “young” doesn’t mean that you can outsmart an “old Geezer.” Remember: Don’t make old people mad. We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to tick us off. ENJOY YOUR DAY!
THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
I very quietly confided to my best friend
that I was having an affair. She turned to me and asked, “Are you having it catered?” And that, my friend, is the sad definition of “OLD”!
Kids Observe Life NUDITY My kids have always been observant of their surroundings, but they tend to pick out details no one else would notice. I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, “Mom! That lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!” KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-yearold daughter to answer the phone. “Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”
POLICE # 2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me “Is that a dog you got back there?” he asked. “It sure is,” I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, “What’d he do?” ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, “The tooth fairy will never believe this!” DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, “Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.” “And why not, darling?” “You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning. “
Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers
Four Worms and a Lesson
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil. At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
A little boy was overheard praying: “Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am.”
The first worm in alcohol - Dead The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive! So the Minister asked the congregation What can you learn from this demonstration? Little Nancy, sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said, ‘As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won’t have worms!’ That pretty much ended the service ... Children in Church One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was “acting up” during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, “Pray for me! Pray for me!”
The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third
pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, “If he gets loose, will he hurt us?”
The very first ever Blonde Guy joke
An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, ‘Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this building.’ The Mexican opened his lunch box and Exclaimed, ‘Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I’m going to jump off, too.’ The blonde opened his lunch and said, ‘ Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I’m jumping too.’ The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.
The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well. At the funeral, the Irishman’s wife was weeping. She said, ‘If I’d known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!’ The Mexican’s wife also wept and said, ‘I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn’t realize he hated burritos so much!’ (Oh this is GOOD!!)? Everyone turned and stared at the blonde’s wife. The blonde’s wife said, ‘Don’t look at me. He made his own lunch!
Snake Bites in our Pets by Eric Clemons DVM Dime Box Animal Clinic Summertime is upon us, and it seems that we are set to
have another record year of unforgiving heat. As the more moderate temperatures of spring transition to the heat of summer, snakes become more active, which is a concern for all pet and livestock owners.
If your pet is bitten by a snake, contact your local veterinarian as soon as possible, since prognosis can be dependent on the time of treatment. Accurate identification of the snake is useful, as treatment-type varies between snake species. Although expensive, antivenin is the gold standard in treatment for rattlesnake bites if given within 3-4 hours of the bite. Administration of IV fluids, diphenhydramine (Benadryl), and pain medication may also be need. There are rattlesnake vaccines available for dogs and horses that may help neutralize toxins, and slow the inflammatory process of the envenomation. However, this does not replace treatment, and it is advised that you still seek medical attention as soon as possible. Copperhead bites are more tolerable, and depending upon the case, can be self-limiting with minimal treatment. Many trainers also offer snake avoidance training for dogs as this is another means of prevention. During the summer months we tend to spend more time with our pets outdoors, namely in the late afternoon and evening. This is unfortunately the same time snakes become more active, seeking food and water. Consequently, snakes migrate toward heavily-watered lawns, flower beds and gardens. While many cats and dogs instinctively become curious with these slithery critters, it is crucial to keep your animals under watchful eye while spending time in these areas.
There are three species pit vipers in our region: copperheads, water moccasins, and rattlesnakes (Western Diamond Back and Timber). All of which can prove fatal, depending upon the circumstance. Pit vipers can control the amount of venom they inject in a given bite – the amount injected is dependent upon the snake’s perception of the threat. Initial defensive strikes are often nonenvenomating commonly referred to as a dry bite with little to no release of venom. In an offensive bite, based on the perceived threat, the pit viper will inject an adjusted amount of venom into the victim, whereas agonal bites deliver the Eric Clemons is a Lee County native and graduate of Texas snake’s entire venom load and are therefore the most dan- A&M College of Veterinary Medicine class of 2015. He curgerous. rently an associate veterinarian at Dime Box Animal Clinic. His hobbies include, hunting, fishing, gardening, tending to his cattle, calf roping, and hanging with family and friends.
While many cats and dogs instinctively become curious with these slithery critters... In general, rattlesnake venom is the most poisonous, with water moccasin and copperhead venom being respectively less. Most venom, independent of species, contains hemotoxins, which destroy body tissues and impair blood-coagulation. An exception is the Timber rattlesnake, whose venom also contains a neurotoxin which can impair the nervous system, causing paralysis in its victims. Clinical signs may vary depending on the size and age of the bitten animal, amount of venom injected, location of the bite, and time between the bite and start of treatment. Oftentimes if bites to the face do not occlude breathing they tend to heal better, as there is a greater amount of blood supply and slower uptake of venom. Bites to lower extremities can be worse, because there is less blood supply and less surface area to allow for tissue swelling.
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Simple Life
The
As I grow older, I find myself thinking more and more about the simple and less stressful times, particularly when I was a child. Cell phone technology progresses with leaps and seems to know no bounds. When I was growing up party line phones were common. These lines were shared by two or more families and when you picked up the phone to call and another person was using the phone, you politely hung up to avoid listening to the conversation.
Television was in its infancy. There were no remote controls or voice commands, people had to get out of their chairs, walk to the television and turn to the 3 or 4 channels that were available...only in black and white. We all had chores, especially on the farm...either in the fields or in the garden. After the work was done, we would entertain ourselves with outdoor games like hide and seek, a game of catch or a simple game of tag. Swimming and fishing were also high on the list. Sundays were always devoted to the Lord and the family. First
thing in the morning it was off to Sunday School and Church. After church we all headed to our grandparents home for a large dinner...often times hosting the minister of our church. To get to school, we walked a half mile to the bus stop...rain or shine. It seemed a lot further than a half mile...it wasn’t bad and gave us needed exercise. Once on the bus, you socialized with your friends....there were no cell phones or ipads. You actually had real conversations. The school day always started with the Pledge of Allegiance and a prayer. No one complained...everyone stood for the pledge and bowed their heads in prayer. Classes were in reading, writing and arithmetic with huge emphasis on penmanship. We learned about the Constitution. We took classes in Civics and learned how our government works. There was a genuine respect for your teachers. It was unheard of to “back talk” your teacher....you would automatically be sent to the Principal’s office...then what? Home to the parents! Everything seemed slower then...today we are so busy multitasking I think we have forgotten how to relax. When a police officer asked you to do something... you did it. You respected the law. You considered him your friend and you knew him by name. He also knew your name and the names of your parents. It seems the world has made life more complicated today. But...were things really simpler back then? My guess is that our ancestors asked the same question. Te c h n o l ogy may simplify some things, but it complicates others. Today’s computers and smart phones have enhanced communications but people have developed an addiction which has altered their personalities, relationships and priorities. Our children appear to have no interest in the world around them. Ah, nostalgia....but it is too late to go back. We must go forward. The older generation may not be up-to-date on technology, but the youth of today may never experience the joy of capturing a firefly, building a campfire or reading a book. It is the little things that make life enjoyable, not the complexities.
LEE COUNTY
HISTORY The Wends of Texas by Joyce Bise
Introduction
The migration of Wends to Texas began in 1848 when a few Wends joined the massive nineteenth century migration of Germans to America. These few Wends in turn influenced the decision of nearly 600 Wends from sixty-five villages and towns in Prussia and Saxony to join them. Embarking from Hamburg in 1854 they traveled to Liverpool where they boarded a sailing ship, the Ben Nevis. Although a number died during the three-month journey, there were also marriages and births en route, and on December 16, 1854 they arrived at Galveston eager to build homes in Texas and to preserve their faith and traditions.
Origins: European Background
The Wends, also called Sorbs, are a Slavic people who settled, probably during migrations of tribes after the collapse of the Roman Empire, in central Europe in an area called Lusatia on the banks of the Spree River near the modern cities of Bautzen and Cottbus. As Germanic tribes moved eastward, they confronted the Wends and eventually the Germans conquered the inhabitants of Lusatia. While the Wends were under German control, they became Christians and during the Reformation most Wends became Lutheran. The Reformation’s zeal to present God’s Word in the language of the people led to the translation of the Catechism and portions of the Bible into Wendish. Three hundred years later, early in the nineteenth century the Lusatian Wends were citizens of two German provinces ‒ Prussia and Saxony.
Religion: The Central Issue
The King of Prussia, in 1841, after more than thirty years of effort to combine all Lutherans and Calvinists into a single state church, made a concession and permitted any subjects who objected to the teachings of the state church, to form their own independent congregations. A few Prussian Wends, in the vicinity of Weigersdorf and Klitten, who adhered faithfully to their Lutheran faith decided
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to establish a Lutheran congregation, and in 1845 constructed their own church building. In 1848, the congregation called Johann (Jan) Kilian to be their pastor. In spite of the increased religious toleration, restrictions remained, and 1854 they boarded the Ben Nevis that docked at Galveston. I Settlement: The First Years After the Ben Nevis Wends arrived in Galveston, they continued on to Houston where some remained but most traveled inland to homes of previous Wendish settlers. Three months after their arrival they purchased the A.C. Delaplain League, located in Bastrop County on a 4,254 acre tract of land. They set aside 95 acres for the church Initially the place was called Low Pinaok Settlement on Rabbs Creek and later became know as Serbin the Sorbian Place.
Language: An Ethnic Identity Wendish is a West Slavonic language closely related to Pol-
ish, Czech, and Slovak. The history of the Wendish language in Texas closely parallels the development of the community itself. As the Wends became a part of their new homeland, they recognized the value of learning the languages of the region.
Heritage: The Wends of Today
There are thousands of people of Wendish descent in Texas, most of whom are aware of their unique ethnic background. But as with many other groups throughout the country, the Wends have blended into the larger American society and in the process, many of their distinctive customs have faded away. Nevertheless, the Wends of Texas still take pride in their special place in the cultural history of Texas. As a result of education and economic opportunities, Wends can be found on all levels of Texas society. Among the Wends of today, one finds physicians, attorneys, college professors and businessmen as well as Wendish farmers and their wives who till lands which have been in the family for over a century. Although being Wendish means different things to different people, the strongest tie that binds the Wends is their Lutheran religion. Above all, they share the conviction that their forefathers came to Texas to enjoy the blessing of freedom of religion. They may no longer be able to speak Wendish ‒ or even German ‒ but they are Wends by heritage, and at the core of their heritage is their devotion to the traditional Lutheran faith. There is a lot more to the story of the Wends of Texas. To read the history in it’s entirety visit our website at leecountyfrontporch.com
Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers
Funny Comments
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year old. After explaining the commandment to “honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy answered, “Thou shall not kill.” *************** A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked his mother, “Who am I? “ Ready to play the game she said, “I don’t know! Who are you?” WOW!” cried the child. “Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I was so dirty, my own mother wouldn’t recognize me!” *************** A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: “If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I’ll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.” *************** An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, “They wouldn’t take me out while I was alive, I don’t want them to take me out when I’m dead.” *************** A police recruit was asked during the exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?” He said, “Call for backup.” Jonah and the Whale A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”. The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.
On Happiness by Becky Schenk
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Happiness is not feeling good all the time. There isn’t one right way to be happy. It is rarely a mood or anything that has mood enhancing qualities such as drugs. After all, what goes up, must come down, right? It is usually something you find that is meaningful to you, such as your work or relationships. Happiness is a choice and what works for one person may not work for another. But it is possible and up to each of us. Keep a daily gratitude journal. It helps shift your perspective and helps you find the good in each and every moment. Surround yourself with happy people. It builds confidence, stimulates creativity, and it’s just plain fun. Your daily interactions and associations with others can have favorable influences in your life and are some of the most powerful factors in feeding your happiness. Choose friends carefully. Distance yourself from negative people who want you to join them in their pity party. Help others. Taking time to help others not only makes them happy but it makes you happy. Have a growth mind set, not a fixed mind set. People with a growth mind set believe they can improve with effort. This makes them happier because they are better at handling difficulties. Remember happiness is a choice. So handle challenges as opportunities to learn something new. Make the effort to be happy. There is a lot of power in realizing you are in charge of your own happiness. No one else can call the shots. And remember this, happiness should not be considered the final destination. For example, getting married or being promoted are one-shot events that fade over time as you or anyone else adapts to them. It takes regular effort to maintain happiness. After all, life does have many obstacles that can be very challenging. It can be difficult to find joy and light when it feels like everything is crashing around you. Feeling happy may be the last thing you want to hear about or be. But being able to seek that light, that one thing you can hold on to will allow you to see the good up ahead and can make all the difference in the world. Happiness is a choice. The power is in your hands. Slow down and learn to appreciate life’s little pleasures. When you choose to be happy, you’ll begin to see how it begins to rub off on those around you and suddenly your world gets that much brighter. Do good and good will come back to you. Be grateful. You’re here and it’s another day. I recognize not everyone is able to choose happiness so easily. I realize there are so many other factors such as clinical depression, abuse, drugs and poverty that play strong roles in people’s lives. If you or someone you know is having a hard time or needs help, refer to emergency services, hot lines, and support groups. Becky Schenk lives in Burleson County, Texas with her husband and has three perfect kids, three furry pet babies and turtle. She is a REALTOR® at Coldwell Banker Properties Unlimited and serves as the Listing Manager for the Lindi/Camaron Team, the #1 Real Estate Team in Washington County. She may be reached at 979-587-
Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Heaven or Hell? While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator was tragically hit by a car and died. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. “Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.” “No problem, just let me in,” says the Senator. “Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.” “Really?, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the Senator. “I’m sorry, but we have our rules.” And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, “Now it’s time to visit heaven...” So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. “Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.” The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.” So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell... Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls to the ground. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders. “I don’t understand,” stammers the Senator. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced
and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?” The devil smiles at him and says, “Yesterday we were campaigning, Today, you voted..” Vote wisely on Election Day!!!
The Aging of Mickey
Back to the Basics So put on a smile and open your eyes You might be surprised what’s in disguise For your lifetime enjoyment If you will only be wise On the road to a simple day We entered this world in no array No possessions, no clothes, nothing for fun Just a little bundle as small as a crumb Life is as easy as you make it When out of this busy world you take it You came into the world in someone else’s care And sometimes we deal with a lot of despair Life would be so simple If we could take in stride All that life has to offer And still by the rules abide Love and be loved as easy as you go Never look back. Just keep up with the flow Technology can entice you to be someone else But don’t change to make it so So keep it simple Stay within the bounds Your heart and soul will guide you A new life will be found So “Batter Up” Get ready to go Give it all you got Before you get too old. Written by Lucy Torn
when a woman says “What?” it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
Davam Urgent Care
Providing a Convenient, Affordable Health Care Option for Giddings, TX Residents New Accredited Urgent Care Center to Offer Convenient
After-Hours Illness and Injury Care Giddings, TX residents now have a new solution to their urgent and unexpected after hours health care needs. Davam Urgent Care is now open for patient care at 2454 E Austin St. Davam Urgent Care offers walk-in medical treatment during evenings and weekends in addition to normal business hours. “Giddings has always been a place where we wanted to expand, our plans just got accelerated after a warm welcome from Giddings city officials and the EDC.” said Dr. Payman Arabzadeh, Medical Director. “We are bringing the same high quality of care, in a close-knit community atmosphere to Giddings. At Davam we are about family and being a caring neighbor for Giddings and the surrounding areas. The 3,000 square foot center features six exam rooms for treating illnesses and injuries – including sprains, sports injuries, flu and cold. The center also has a pediatric, kid friendly exam room, digital x-ray, and on-site complex rapid lab testing. Davam Urgent Care hosted a ribbon cutting and open house on Monday, May 21st from 11am-1pm to celebrate the new location in Giddings, TX. Complimentary food and drinks wereserved. Following the ribbon cutting, the clinic hosted an open house with the opportunity to meet the team and take a tour of the facility. Patients in need of immediate, quality care for non-life threatening illnesses or injuries may visit the center Monday-Friday, 8am-8am and Saturday-Sunday, 9am-5pm. No appointment is necessary. For a shorter wait, patients can reserve a same day visit time online at www.Davam.com. Health care providers at Davam Urgent Care work closely with patients’ primary care providers and local medical centers to provide appropriate care. About Davam Urgent Care: Davam Urgent Care, an Accredited urgent care center by the Urgent Care Association of America, has been open since May 2014. We treat all urgent care needs ranging from the flu to back pain. Davam is also able to treat workers compensation patients suffering from on-the-job injuries. Most major insurance carriers are accepted including Scott and White Health Plan, Blue Cross and Blue Shield, and Medicare. Discounted prompt pay options are also offered along with a medical membership program which provides medical urgent care for less than $1 per day. To learn more visit www.Davam.com.
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DIVORCE HEARING . . . A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court in Italy, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them. The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his side of the story. After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied "Your Honor, when I put a coin into a vending machine, and a Coke comes out, does the Coke
belong to me or to the machine?"
DON'T LAUGH . . . HE WON!
Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Get Out of the Car! This is a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida: An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it! GET OUT OF THE CAR!” The four men didn’t wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then she realized why. It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee, and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat. A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed. Moral of the story? If you’re going to have a senior moment...make it memorable!
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Loebau Baseball
by Agnes “Aggie” Hanes Agnes now lives in LaGrange but grew up off Highway 21 in Lee County. She graduated from Dime Box High School in 1963.
Growing up in the early 1950s, I can re- member spending many weekends and a lot of my summer vacations at my grandparent’s country home near Loebau, in Lee County. My earliest memories of Loebau, all the way until I graduated from high school, are of a lovely community where all the houses were well kept, the yards mowed, and everything up to snuff.* Especially the store, it was the hub of a very industrious community. A clean, painted and well stocked basic necessities grocery store with gas pumps and liquid refreshments. I remember the house behind the store where the store owner lived was immaculately kept with mowed grass and lots of beautiful flowers. The first owners I remember were the Rachel and later the Schulze families. There had been two elementary schools, the parochial one, up the hill, at Christ Lutheran Church and the public school across the road from the store. By the time I can remember, the public school had closed, but the old school building was used for elections and public meetings. Next to that school was the Loebau baseball diamond, where the local community league played ball every Sunday during the season. It had bleachers, a scoreboard, and a backstop. The soil in the area is deep sand, great for growing peanuts, the main local cash crop, grass burs and stickers of many painful varieties. The loose and deep sand was also perfect for lots and lots of gophers. The ball field had more than its share of gopher holes. While backing up to catch a fly ball, a player could easily trip over one of the many gopher mounds and do a back flip in the outfield, or step into one of the gopher holes while rounding the bases, adding an unexpected comical, and sometimes painful element to the game. My husband remembers going to baseball games at Loebau as a child, but I don’t. I remember hearing stories about the Sunday that my dad, Ludwig (Luke) Knippa and his 4 brothers, Arthur, Bill, Isedor, and Eric, got the permission from their dad to use the family’s prize Model T with the canvas top to drive to Loebau and play in the Sunday afternoon league. I don’t ever remember hearing who they played or if they won or lost. Aside from the scorching middle of the summer heat, it was a beautiful day to be young and alive. The 5 Knippa boys climbed into the car with Isedor driving, everyone laughing and talking looking forward to an afternoon of fun with their friends. Just as they got up to speed on the gravel road, all of a sudden, a big cow jumped from the ditch in front of their car. While try-
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ing to avoid the cow, the car went into a slide and turned up side down in the ditch. They could have had broken legs, arms or necks, or one or all could have easily been killed in that blink of an eye. Considering there were no seat belts, air bags or safety features on that Model T, it was amazing, except for a few scratches and a lot of bruises, they all crawled out of the car without any major injuries! They were all standing around getting their wits about them, when a carload of their beloved, fun-loving cousins, the Leitko boys from Dime Box came along on their way to play in the same ball game. I don’t remember how many young men were in the Leitko group, but they had a very large family, so I know it was a bunch of boys. First they shared all their stories of the survival of the wreck. Then with the can-do attitude of the young, those strapping young men, the Knippa and the Leitko boys, surrounded the car and set it back up on the road on its wheels. The car looked awful with the canvas top all crumpled up but the basic machine was in working order. With the help of the crank, the tire tool and raw man power, the young men pushed and pulled on the canvas supports until it was up and had some semblance to the original shape. With the zest and joy of men that had experienced and survived a dynamic event, the Knippa boys jumped in and off they went to the ball game, none the worse for the wear. Of course, they were a little late for the start of the game. I guess we could say they made a grand entrance. When the Knippa boys got out of the car, one of the Leitko boys jumped into the car and drove it around the bases while the crowd howled with laughter. All and all, it was one of the most memorable days at that ballpark with the misshapen and comical looking car inspiring all kinds of funny comments that would start the laughter again, leading to another funny comment and more laughter. As the fun of the day drew to a close and all the players and fans started to leave, the cold hard truth started to sink in on the brothers. They were going to have to take this messed up car back to their daddy, Alvin Knippa that had trusted them with the prized family car. All the way home, no one said a word, like 5 men going to their execution. It was so important to these boys to live up to Daddy’s expectations of taking responsibility when extended special privileges. As they got close to the house, they could all see they had been given a small reprieve from facing Daddy. They could see Daddy’s pickup was gone, and they knew he was down in the Yegua Creek bottom looking at his crop, to plan the next week’s work. So they hurried up, drove the car into the garage and closed the door behind it, as they slipped out. All five went and sat on the bench on the back porch looking like a bunch of dejected dogs. They all saw Daddy come back from the bottom, stop his pickup, head straight to the garage and go inside. With extreme trepidation, they watched him walk the 100 yards to the house. He walked up on the porch and said, “Boys, I am just so glad none of you boys got hurt!” He never said a cross word about the accident. They may not have had telephones at that time, but the community grapevine was alive and well. Several people had already stopped by in the middle of the afternoon to tell him about the wreck.
NOT ALL THIEVES ARE STUPID 1. LONG - TERM PARKING Some people left their car in the long-term parking at San Jose while away, and someone broke into the car. Using the information on the car’s registration in the glove compartment, they drove the car to the people’s home in Pebble Beach and robbed it. So I guess if we are going to leave the car in long-term parking, we should NOT leave the registration/insurance cards in it, nor your remote garage door opener. This gives us something to think about with all our new electronic technology. 2. GPS Someone had their car broken into while they were at a football game. Their car was parked on the green that was adjacent to the football stadium and specially allotted to football fans. Things stolen from the car included a garage door remote control, some money and a GPS that had been prominently mounted on the dashboard. When the victims got home, they found that their house had been ransacked and just about everything worth anything had been stolen. The thieves had used the GPS to guide them to the house. They then used the garage remote control to open the garage door and gain entry to the house. The thieves knew the owners were at the football game, they knew what time the game was scheduled to finish, and so they knew how much time they had to clean out the house. It would appear that they had brought a truck to empty the house of its contents.. Something to consider if you have a GPS: Don’t put your home address in it. Put a nearby address (like a store or gas station) so you can still find your way home if you need to, but no one else would know where you live if your GPS were stolen. 3. CELL PHONES I never thought of this! This lady has now changed her habit of how she lists her names on her cell phone after her handbag was stolen. Her handbag, which contained her cell phone, credit card, wallet, etcetera, was stolen. Twenty minutes later when she called her hubby from a pay phone, telling him what had happened, hubby said, “I received your text asking about our Pin number and I’ve replied a little while ago.” When they rushed down to the bank, the bank staff told them all the money was already withdrawn. The thief had actually used the stolen cell phone to text “hubby” in the contact list and got hold of the pin number. Within twenty minutes he had withdrawn all the money from their bank account. Moral lessons: (a) Do not disclose the relationship between you and the people in your contact list. Avoid using names like Home, Honey, Hubby, Sweetheart, Dad, Mom, etcetera. (b) Very importantly, when sensitive info is being asked through texts, CONFIRM by calling
back. (c) Also, when you’re being texted by friends or family to meet them somewhere, be sure to call back to confirm that the message came from them. If you don’t reach them, be very careful about going places to meet “family and friends” who text you. 4. PURSE IN THE GROCERY CART SCAM A lady went grocery-shopping at a local mall and left her purse sitting in the children’s seat of the cart while she reached for something off a shelf. Wait until you read the ENTIRE story! Her wallet was stolen and she reported it to the store personnel. After returning home, she received a phone call from the Mall Security stating that they had her wallet and that although there was no money in it, it did still hold her personal papers. She immediately went to pick up her wallet, only to be told by Mall Security that they had not called her. By the time she returned home again, her house had been broken into and burglarized. The thieves knew that by calling and saying they were Mall Security, they could lure her out of her house long enough for them to burglarize it. *PLEASE PASS THIS ON. Even if this does not pertain to you, let your family and friends know so they don’t get caught in a scam.
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Rat Racing for the Simple Life By: Brandy Adams As children, we had no idea what exactly our parents meant while using the words “rat race.” Were they out racing rats? As funny as that may sound to some, the term was not intended to be taken literally. The term rat race refers to a competitive, exhausting struggle that many of today’s adults are caught up in. Whether the struggle be money or power, the rat race is one that some never escape. As a child, I remember listening to my father talk about how things were so much simpler during his childhood. At the time, I would laugh and think that he was about to tell us how he walked uphill both ways, in the snow and with no shoes. For the longest time, we believed him. As I got older and we would discuss his childhood, I think of how he was right, life was much simpler compared to today. The family all helped, whether young or old, to keep food on the table and provide for their family needs. There was no social comparison, only the goal of being sure that the family was fed and taken care of, leaving no room for keeping up with the Joneses. The older children get, I believe it’s harder to keep things simple. They become busy, entrapped in their own world, participating in different things that mean something to them. I know for us, trying to sit down at a family dinner, is difficult. It must be perfectly timed so that work, PTA, baseball practice, dance or school work doesn’t intervene. It’s a rat race that one can easily get sucked into and I often wonder how simple life would be if there was no rat race to run. I’ve often wondered what causes us to get caught up in running the rat race. Many people take on this rat race in hopes of obtaining a simple life. The truth of the matter is that simple living will never be the product of running the rat race. The belief that more money, more power will make our lives simpler is where the idea leaves you with nothing more than a big headache and empty heart. You spend so much time chasing the idea of what things should be like that you fail to realize the important things already sitting aimlessly under your nose. Have you considered what contributes to this way of thinking? Social dilemma is a huge contributor to why so many choose to participate in the modern-day rat race. When one chooses to partake in an activity out of selfish motives for personal gain and the benefits are seen and put into practice by the rest of society is when social dilemma occurs. I believe this occurs because once the “fad” of gaining for yourself catches on, everyone else wants to have what they want through the easiest way possible. The rat race will be difficult to resolve as individuals are worried that they may miss out on getting a piece of what everyone
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else is enjoying. They believe initially that there is no personal expense, but the truth is, it cost more than one realizes as you spend so much time chasing the next person, that you miss out on the simple things. Whether those simple things include your spouse’s birthday, your children’s games, your parents anniversary; there is a cost for joining the rat race in hopes for a simple life that cannot be guaranteed. Simple living means that one must be comfortable with being themselves. Loving their life regardless of what their neighbor, friend or family is doing. To live a simple life, one must escape the rat race and construct a life that is right for them. At the end of the day, it is your life and only you have the power to try something new and change it. Do not let the rat race consume you to the point of someday looking back and regretting missing the small things.
Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers
A Texan’s Guide to Life -Don’t squat with your spurs on. -Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. -Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier ‘n puttin’ it back in. -If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around. -After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him... The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut. -There’s two theories to arguin’ with a woman. Neither one works. -If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’. -Always drink upstream from the herd. -When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don’t be surprised if they learn their lesson. -The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket. -Never miss a good chance to shut up. -There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
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Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Walmart. Dear Mrs. Woolf, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are “documented by our video surveillance cameras”: 1. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 2. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money. 3. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of chips. 4. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION - WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area. 5. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children obliged. 6. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ Emergency Medics were called. 7. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 8. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘ Mission Impossible’ theme. 9. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’ 10. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN! And last, but not least: 11. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’ One of the Staff passed out.
That moment of panic when your child is babbling and you’re not really listening so you say “Yeah” and they get excited and disappear.
JUST STAY
A young Marine private waits on the beach during the Marine landing. Da Nang, Vietnam. August 3, 1965 [National Archives and Records Administration, Records of the U.S. Marine Corps] A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. “Your son is here,” she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient’s eyes opened.
terrupted her, “Who was that man?” he asked. The nurse was startled, “He was your father,” she answered.
Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man’s limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.
“I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn’t here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed. I came here tonight to find a Mr. William Grey. His Son
The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man’s hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile. He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients. Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night. Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited. Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine in-
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“No, he wasn’t,” the Marine replied. “I never saw him before in my life.” “Then why didn’t you say something when I took you to him?”
was killed in Iraq today, and I was sent to inform him. What was this Gentleman’s Name? “ The nurse with tears in her eyes answered, “Mr. William Grey.........” Author Unknown - Courtesy of TruthBooks.com
Before It’s Too Late by Sarah Harlan
Sarah Harlan is a Lee County native and Texas Tech University alum. She currently works in Burleson County for Edward Jones as a Financial Advisor. Her hobbies include sitting on a front porch, anything outdoors, hanging out with her dog, Captain, and spending time with her friends and family/
When I was told about the theme of this issue, I immediately came up with several different ideas about the direction I could take my article. It wasn’t until a few weeks later on my front porch talking to my neighbors that I decided on the topic. Our conversation was unusually heavy compared to our typical Friday night banter about our work week and our plans for the weekend that always seems too short. That particular night was only a few days after the Santa Fe school shooting in Houston. There have been several school shootings in the past 20 years since the Columbine High School shooting in 1999, but this was different. This was so close to home. We were heartbroken for the families that lost their children that day, but more than anything astounded and angry by how numb our society has become to these violent events. Surely we aren’t the only ones that feel like these event have been practically an epidemic the last few years. So I conducted some research on the topic. According to The Washington Post, which conducted their own research about school shootings through open databases, past news articles, and by speaking to local police departments across the country, more than 215,000 children have been exposed to gun violence across 217 schools, and there have been 17
school shootings in 2018 alone - the most in any year since 1999. The heartbreaking numbers proved we were valid in noticing an uptick in these events in the news, but didn’t answer the question on everyone’s mind - why? I genuinely don’t mean for this to be a political article because in my personal opinion when it comes to school shootings and the safety of my unborn children, it’s a bipartisan issue that we should all work together on, and I don’t think anyone has a clear answer of why these things happen. To say our society is different now than it was 20 years ago is an understatement. There’s been some good changes come along (thank you, Jesus, for leggings), and some bad, which is why I do believe at the heart of this issue, it’s a “people problem.” We’re so quick to hurt one another with our words on Facebook, people aren’t involved in the community the way they used to be, and we’re fast to judge our neighbors choices without knowledge of the full story. Growing up in Giddings, I never once felt unsafe at school and I hope my future children feel the same way one day. As a community, we don’t need to solve the entire world’s problem, but we do need to become more involved with prevention around this issue. As Mother Theresa said, “Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do, but how much we put into that action.” So, I urge everyone to be a little kinder to one another, get involved with the school, not to tell them how to do their job, but to help them raise our children, and remember we can still take action to prevent this from happening in our hometown instead of picking up the pieces when it’s too late.
Hemp Seeds are Superfoods
Suzy Cohen, RPh www.suzycohen.com People call me “America’s Most Trusted Pharmacist®” because I’ve been a licensed pharmacist for over 25 years and is a functional medicine practitioner for the last 15. I am able to share the pros and cons of medication use as well as offer natural substitutions for most any of your health concerns. While I pride myself in ‘thinking outside the pill’ let me just say that I am still very proud to wear my white coat because I realize that there is a time and place for medications. We need to consider all of our options, and often, a combination is best. In addition to writing a syndicated health column, “Dear Pharmacist,” which circulates to 20 million readers each week, Suzy Cohen is the author of many different books on natural health. You may have seen her on The Dr. OZ Show (6 different appearances), The View, The Doctors, Good Morning America Health and hundreds of morning shows. www.suzycohen.com
Dear Pharmacist, You posted a recipe on facebook recently, and it contains “hemp seeds.” Isn’t that related to pot, and isn’t it illegal? I’ve never heard of this, and my grocery store says they cannot carry it. –G.K. Ft. Lauderdale, Florida Answer: Your question is good, but it does crack me up. First of all, any grocery store in the country can carry this because there is nothing illegal about hemp seeds! You’re right though, hemp does come from the same plant as marijuana, so many people associate it with getting stoned. However, as I’ll show you, this is just another common misconception.
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Hemp seeds are actually so good for your health, that I suggest daily consumption! These little seeds are composed mainly of a non-psychoactive compound called “cannabidiol.” This has been shown to actually block the effects of THC (tetrahydrocannabinol), the ingredient in marijuana that induces the “high.” Because of this, many scientists have actually nicknamed hemp as “antimarijuana.” These tiny seeds are jam-packed with important nutrients. They contain essential minerals such as phosphorus and magnesium which strengthens our bones. They also have an abundance of vitamin E, which protects our body tissues from damage. In addition, they can improve immune function, raise energy and relieve dry hair and skin. Guess what else? Hemp may even reduce the symptoms of PMS. Let’s go ladies! Most importantly though, hemp seeds contain both omega 3 and omega 6 essential fatty acids and I highly recommend those to keep your health in tip-top shape. They have been connected to attaining healthy cholesterol levels (naturally!), protecting against heart disease, and lessening the risk of Alzheimer’s disease. Approximately fifty-five percent of hemp is actually composed of linoleic acid, which is the major component of flax seeds -which you all know are great for you too. In a 2008 Italian study, it was concluded that hemp seeds can reduce inflammation and lessen pain symptoms for those with muscular or skeletal inflammation. These effects, among others, occur because of the special ratio of the essential fatty acids in hemp seeds. So you want to get more hemp into your diet? It’s easy -just do like I do. Buy hemp seed oil and replace your other oils. Nutiva makes a wonderful line of hemp products that most health food stores carry. Sprinkle the hulled hemp seeds on everything from salads, to yogurt, oatmeal, eggs, sandwiches and even batters for muffins and cakes. Hemp seeds have very little taste, so you’ll barely even know that they’re there! Hemp products are even okay for those of you who avoid gluten, animal protein, sugar, soy and dairy. Now that’s my kind of seed!
Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Always Ask, Never Assume !!! His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight. He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport. Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, ‘Let’s go’. The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off. Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, ‘Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.’ ‘Why?’ asked the pilot. ‘Because I’m a photographer for CNN’ , he responded, ‘and I need to get some close up shots.’ The pilot was strangely silent for a moment. Finally he stammered, ‘So, what you’re telling me, is . . .. You’re NOT my flight instructor?’ Today The Chicken Preparing the cannon, Battle of Cropredy Bridge Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and space shuttles, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements were made to borrow the gun. But when the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer’s
backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin. Horrified, Britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and asked the U.S. scientists for suggestions. NASA’s response was just one sentence: “Thaw the chicken.”
The Dog Walker A woman was flying from Melbourne to Brisbane. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sydney. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.. Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. A man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her seeing eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight. He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, ‘Kathy, we are in Sydney for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?’ The blind lady replied, ‘No thanks, but maybe Max would like to stretch his legs.’ All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a seeing eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines! True story...have a great day and remember... Things aren’t always as they appear!.
Dirt Don’t Hurt Becky Matthijetz-Weise loves spending time with her husband, children and grandchildren. In her spare time, she is the Advertising Director at The Fayette County Record, a twiceweekly newspaper in La Grange. She is an Independent Sales Representative for Avon and Young Living Essential Oils. She is also the coowner of Heart of Texas Monument Company and Weise Farms. Find out more by reading her occasional blog, “A Tale of Two Weise’s" at www.weisefarms.com.
The smell of rain, a freshly picked peach so juicy it runs down your chin, the sound of your baby’s first cry, a grandparent-name that isn’t quite what you expected, tiny little voices joining in prayer, a basket full of beautiful eggs, and dirt… these are a few of the things I treasure. A brand new phone, faster internet, a backup camera, a digital assistant, a smart home… There was a time when I craved the latest and greatest technology. Wait… who am I kidding? I still like those things. But more and more, I feel immeasurable joy in simple pleasures like sitting under a shade tree, talking with my family, or experiencing adventures in the sand with my grandkids. “It’s only dirt, and dirt don’t hurt.” Did you know you can make your own dirt? Well almost. Tim and I started keeping worms. Worms provide interesting science projects for the grandkids, they compost our scraps, they are great for fishing, and their castings make the perfect garden soil. Our Red Wigglers and European Night Crawlers eat anything the dogs and chickens do not want, like newspapers, dried leaves, coffee grounds, and banana peels. Worms are part of our retirement plan. You may laugh, but anyone with a worm farm knows they are mathematicians and know how to multiply. I’m sure one day I’ll be selling worms. But speaking of multiplying… our chickens are multiplying too. There is actually a name for this chicken phenomenon. They call it “chicken math.” I started out with a few and now I have about fifty hens. I’ve become a chicken lady. I love gathering colorful eggs and arranging them into cardboard cartons. The cardboard makes the egg colors pop. I see it as art. I have a collection of chickens based upon egg color. My collection will not be complete as long as there are chicken breeds and egg colors I don’t have. Can you see the gift possibilities here? “Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy chickens, and chickens make eggs, and breakfast makes you happy.” This saying is written on a kitchen towel I bought at a local boutique. I had to have it. I also enjoy watching a broody hen hatch out chicks. She teaches her chicks by example. Oh the exaggerated demonstrations I’ve witnessed on how to scratch in the dirt, backup and forage, or how to correctly toss dirt on your back while puddling in the sand. When a momma hen finds a tasty bug, she calls her babies to enjoy a delicious snack. That “took-took-took” sound is the chicken dinner-bell. Did you know hens have many different sounds for communicat-
ing? There is a specific sound that calls chicks to safety under her wing to protect them from danger. I see God’s hand in her motherly instinct. No one taught her to be a protector. And no one taught those babies to listen like they do. It’s simply a miracle. One of my hens hatched out duck eggs. She tried to show them how to scratch, but they did not. Imagine her dismay when they went for a splash in a water hole. She scolded them in her most serious wet-hen voice. They did not listen. “Get out of that water! Chicks can’t swim!” Perhaps they didn’t understand her fowl language. But as any good mother should, she stayed right there by their side. Bewildered, she allowed herself to become all wet and muddy each time they nestled under her wings after a swim. More than a year has passed and she still enjoys hanging out with them. Parenting is not easy. It is quite bewildering at times. Spoken first hand, Tim and I rarely received good reviews from our children regarding our disciplinary actions. Perhaps Zach and Whitney didn’t understand our “fowl” language either. Sometimes we hear unfavorable reviews from our grandkids over the disciplinary actions they’ve received. We get it and show our support. The role of a parent is not about popularity or being your child’s best friend. That’s why they have grandparents. The goal is to raise God-fearing respectful ladies and gentlemen. And they are. I am very proud of the parents my children have become. Here is my advise to all parents. Learn from the chickens. Squawk when they need it. Teach by example. Take the time… Make the time to scratch in the dirt. Offer security under your wing, even when they are muddy and wet. Enjoy hanging out with them no matter how old they are. And treasure up these things in your heart. The sights and sounds, smells and feelings that will bring back memories to them one day, are happening all around you now. Bil Keane once said “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.” I am MoMo and Tim is Baboo. Our names aren’t even close to the grandparent names we picked out for ourselves. But oh how sweet it sounds from the little ones who love us.
Life Lessons from Dirt & Written by Becky Weise Chickens
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