Throwing Old Traditions to the Wayside

- Birdseed

Tossing rice or other grains at the newlyweds is a tradition as old as the hills. Rice symbolizes fertility and prosperity. Tossing rice means you're blessing the couple with wishes of fruitfulness and wealth.

Through the Years

The ancient Celts threw rice, millet and other grains to appease their gods and ask for blessings on the newlyweds. Ancient Romans tossed wheat. In Morocco, they toss dried dates or figs. In India, it's a rain of flower petals. In more recent years, tossing rice has met with objections that the leftover grains can harm wildlife. The state of Connecticut even introduced a bill in 1985 to ban throwing rice to save birds. However, Audubon officials in the state never heard of rice killing birds and subsequent testing has shown it to be safe. Rice can be a slip hazard for your guests. So be sure someone is tasked with cleaning up after the rice is thrown in order to keep things picked up and safe.

Alternatives

There are several reasons why you want to skip the rice toss. It's just not done much anymore. Maybe you and your partner aren't planning to have children. Perhaps you'd like to avoid the safety hazards with rice or just want more options in general. Here are some alternatives to consider:

- Dried Flowers

- Herbs

- Flower Petals

Other Creative Options

You can also pass out small bells to have your guests ring or ribbons to wave. Another popular choice is to hand out small containers of bubble solution with wands and have your guest blow bubbles. Couples having evening ceremonies can find extra-long sparklers for their wedding party to hold while they walk through. Just be safe, if you choose this option.

Releasing Butterfl ies

Often thought of in terms of beauty and change, butterflies have always been a symbol of good luck. They also represent the metamorphosis involved in joining the lives of two people into one new life.

What is Involved?

Fortunately, you don't have to catch your own butterflies. There are actually butterfly farmers who raise healthy butterflies specifically for releasing at weddings and other occasions. Generally, butterflies can be ordered online and are delivered in coolers to your door at a specified date. Despite their delicate appearance, butterflies require minimal care. They are cold-blooded creatures, so they go into a dormant state while being transported in the coolers. They will become activated again and ready to fly as they warm up. Complete care instructions will accompany your butterflies. Remember that butterflies must be released during daylight hours and in temperatures above 60 degrees Fahrenheit.

How Many?

Many people are under the impression that more butterflies are better, but a mass of butterflies can actually be distracting and overwhelming. Another thing to consider is that butterflies don't necessarily just fly away. They tend to flit around the area and they will even land on guests. Typically, just a few will be enough to make a memorable statement at your wedding.

More Traditions To Choose From

A White Wedding Dress: Queen Victoria of England was the first royal influencer to wear a white wedding dress. Until that time, most royals wore heavy brocades. Queen Victoria who married her true love, Prince Albert in 1840, shocked English society by wearing a white lace gown. A white wedding dress is still the tradition in most American weddings, but wedding attire does vary among cultures. In Asian cultures, white is a color of mourning and red is considered lucky. This is the color of the Chinese Qipao, the traditional costume worn by Chinese brides. Red packets or envelopes of money are also the customary gift at an Asian wedding.

The Threshold Carry: Medieval Europe is the origin of this tradition. They said the bride loved her parents so much she did not want to leave them after the wedding ended.

The groom carrying her across the threshold was to get his bride home. The threshold carry today is more done for fun.

The Groom Not Seeing the Bride Before the Ceremony: This practice emerges from pre-18th century time, when pre-arranged marriages were commonplace. It was deemed "unlucky" for a bride and groom to see one another before the wedding. This was an attempt to keep the groom from backing out of the wedding upon seeing his unidentified bride-to-be prior to the ceremony.

Which Traditions Are Right For You?

I was shocked, during my own wedding, at how many people asked us if we were following this tradition, or that one. We opted not to save two pieces of wedding cake for a year, much to the horror of my new mother-inlaw, but we did opt to do the "Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue" tradition. Maybe you're not a champagne person and opt for something different, or non-alcoholic, for the toast. All of this is just fine. Honestly, the best advice out there, is to have the kind of wedding you want. Don't let tradition rule, and go with your hearts. It's your big day. There are lots of options that can match your wedding theme, venue and personality. Get creative, and if you're throwing anything, make sure you're throwing a safe celebration that will be remembered forever.