The Most Important Day of Your Life 2020 Dale Witherington All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means – electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning or other – except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles without the prior written permission of the author/publisher.
Dedication This little book and The LifeBuilder’s Creed is dedicated to all those who have known or who know now the pain of being beaten and bloodied, literally or figuratively, in the pursuit of a better life, and yet choose to run their race, no matter the cost, until they achieve their life’s victory.
Backstory Have you ever sat back and asked yourself, “Isn’t there more to life?” I have. Many times. One particular day I was asking myself that question was February 23, 1995. I was 41 years-young and working for a small privately-owned company where I was having good success. I’d worked for them for two years. Both years I not only earned the annual trip to Hawaii for sales leaders, but because of two record-setting Decembers, I was the sales leader. The result was that I was extremely fortunate to set sales records during both of my years there. But, I still was asking myself, “Isn’t there more to life?” Something was missing. Please allow me to set the scene. Let’s go back one year to February 1994. The location – magnificent Maui, Hawaii. When my wife and I landed, we were immediately overcome by the most remarkable tropical aroma from the flowers of paradise. It was late afternoon. The temperature was about 80 degrees. The sky was blue and there was a slight tropical breeze as we loaded up our brand-new rental -- a white, convertible Mustang. Three days of freedom doing what we wanted to do when we wanted to do it before changing locations on the island for the business portion of our trip. We drove the road to Hana. We ate at a local famous steakhouse in Kihei. We shopped at local boutiques. We ate breakfast by the pool. We found a beach with the most perfect rolling waves I’ve ever ridden in my life. Life couldn’t be any better. And then we moved to our business meeting location. The location was great. The meetings were actually interesting and informative. We spent enjoyable hours studying the teachings of the current futurist “expert” and had lively discussions as to how all of this information would be beneficial to our clients. This information would make us much more valuable to them. It was there I asked the forbidden question. I asked how all of this most relevant information, all of this planning for the future and the types of changes necessary for the success of our clients, would also apply to our own company. The glare and the brief, curt retort I immediately received from the company’s owner caught me off-guard. Indeed, it was as if it caught everyone in the room off-guard. This vitally important information for the future success of our clients apparently didn’t apply to us. It was the left hook to the jaw none of us saw coming.
The response to what most everyone thought was a reasonable question to ask in light of the theme for our meetings, for our future, was a response that effectively took the wind out of our sails. We left that session shaking our heads and wondering what had just happened. My question, asked with the intent of tying our theme of a better future for our clients, was not received as a positive suggestion for how our company would use the information so we would get better, too. Instead, it was apparently received as an accusation for not being good enough. It was received as a personal attack, not on the company, but on the owners themselves. It was their company, not mine, not ours. The message was clear: Don’t ever challenge us again. We bring the challenges to you. Internally, I snapped. I had dealt with this mentality in the large corporate arena. I had even dealt with it in a small faith-based non-profit organization after providing them the largest account in their 8-year history. In fact, that one deal was larger than all of the deals combined during the previous 8 years. And, now, it was happening again. I returned to the mainland determined to succeed at a higher level than the previous year, which I did. But, I also knew I needed to prepare myself for something new, something different. I needed to prepare for a better future for me and my family. So, I began to read. A lot. I found myself re-reading books on creating a better personal future by my favorite inspirational author, the late Og Mandino. In my opinion, no one could weave a story and shoot an arrow straight to one’s heart better than Mister Og. He was the storyteller extraordinaire. And his stories always had a deeper purpose and meaning to them giving the reader guidance for pursuing a better life. I had a challenge, however. Each of the books ended with Mister Og’s recommended reading assignments. Some assignments could last for months. In my case, I read four of his books back to back to back to back. There was no way I was going to do four of his ongoing assignments. But, I didn’t want to skip any of them, either. I was in a mental quandary. So, I left the office and went to lunch. As I sat in that little sandwich shop, I prayed a brief prayer, something like, “Lord, help me sort out the assignments at the end of these four books into one condensed message. Amen.” I pulled out a pad of paper, picked up my pen and about 20 minutes later I had completed “The LifeBuilder’s Creed”.
It wasn’t long after writing it that I had this insane thought of wanting to give “The LifeBuilder’s Creed” to the world. But, I had no idea how to do that until my friend, the man who is beloved by millions around the world for equipping them to impact and influence their homes, communities, businesses and nations, Dr. John C. Maxwell, agreed to include it in his 2004 Best Seller, “Today Matters”. Dr. Maxwell also agreed to allow me to keep the copyright to “The LifeBuilder’s Creed”. Now, I would like to pass it on to a new generation, along with a few of the life lessons encapsulated within it. And maybe, just maybe, we can all find what The LifeBuilder’s Creed is meant to produce – personal freedom and inner peace. Dale Witherington July 2020
The Most Important Day in Your Life It has been said that the two greatest days in a person’s life are the day one is born and the day one discovers why. Let’s take a brief look at one of those people. I was doing my daily reading recently and was struck by something about a person from the 1st century whose name was John. We are first introduced to John while he is still in his mother’s womb. Here’s John’s story: John’s dad, a man named Zacharias, was a priest in Israel. One day while doing his priestly duties at the temple, Zacharias received a personal visitation with an intimately personal message by one of God’s top angels, an angel named Gabriel. OK. Pause. Some of you are now ready to tune out. You’re not into “God” or “religion”. Well, I’m into God. I am not into religion. For the sake of where we’re going and in this particular context, it really doesn’t matter whether or not you are into God, religion or if you even take this story as a true, historical fact. Maybe this story is a fable to you. Maybe you’ve never heard the story before. It doesn’t matter. Just hang in there and go with me on this, OK? So, Gabriel appears to Zacharias and tells him that he and his wife are going to have a baby. The problem here is, Zacharias and his wife, Elizabeth, are older than dirt. She is “barren”. She’s never had a baby; she’s never going to have a baby. It is now a physical impossibility. Fast forward six months. Elizabeth is now into her sixth month of her “impossible” pregnancy. During that sixth month, Elizabeth’s very young cousin, Mary, shows up at her door. It seems that Mary, too, has been visited by the same angel, Gabriel, who told her she, too, would have a baby. This pregnancy was also an impossibility in that Mary was still a virgin. And, yet, here it was just a few months later and, miracle of miracles, two women who could not possibly be pregnant, are pregnant. And, if that wasn’t enough, Elizabeth’s baby-to-be, John, leapt in her womb when Mary arrived pregnant with her son-to-be, Jesus. We don’t know a lot about Elizabeth’s baby boy, John. But, we know enough. We know he was called a Nazarite. A Nazarite lived with a strict set of lifestyle and dietary guidelines. Apparently, John did so without complaint. He did so regardless of what anybody else said to him or about him. Have you ever thought about living your life in your way without caring about what anyone else thinks?
Here’s a tip: Most people already don’t care about how you’re living your life! Sorry to be the one to break that to you. It’s not that they don’t care about you. It’s just simply that they are too busy trying to figure out how to live their own lives. They’re normal – just like you – trying to figure out their own lives. Here’s what set John and others like him apart from the rest of the human race: John discovered the specific purpose for his life and he remained laser-beamed focused his entire life to pursue and fulfill his purpose. It didn’t matter what anyone else thought. They weren’t called to live his life. The day one is born and the day one discovers why are two great days. But, in my opinion, neither is the most important day. The most important day is the day you decide to do something to pursue and fulfill your why, your purpose, for being placed on this ball of mud. That day, that most important day, is TODAY. By the way, you can make that decision now. There’s no need to wait for Gabriel to show up. You could be waiting a long while.
The Most Dangerous Day in Your Life In his brilliant best-selling book, “The Magic of Thinking Big,” Dr. David Schwartz helps his readers identify and conquer what he calls “The Three Failure Diseases,” namely, Detailitis, Excusitis and Procrastination. If you are someone who tends to sabotage your success by being an overly analytical perfectionist, or you never take on a new challenge or opportunity because (fill in the blank – we both know it’s just another excuse) or you know what the most important thing to do is at any given time, but you’ll get to it “later,” I’d highly recommend buying and reading his insightful book. Start with chapters 2, 12 and 13. I’d also like you to consider this: Could it be the reason is that you are a perfectionist, and can’t get moving until you do 15 other things and each of those 15 things have multiple subsets of “what if’s”; OR Your excuse is you are too young, too old, too busy, too self-centered, too (fill in the blank – any excuse to keep you from trying will do); OR You’ll get to it….later….tomorrow….next week…………………… Could it be you are really trapped by the most dangerous day in your life? Are you trapped by…….Yesterday? I don’t know about you, but why is it that when I think of my “yesterday’s” it is so much easier to recall the regrets, rejections, failures and tears? I’ve had many successes, small as they might be, but why do the negative things, the hurtful things, the shaming things seem to dominate the theater of the mind like a high definition, 3D, surround-sound movie? Why is it easier to relive the things we wish to forget than the things we prefer to remember? Why do we live in the past and let it define our future? People who achieve what is important to them in life forget the past. They first learn from it and then focus on how that lesson will help propel them to their desired future. One ancient text I appreciate teaches us the only way to move on is to . . . move on. The writer talks about “pressing on, pressing forward” with his life. In fact, he writes, “One thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward [my goal].” Maybe it’s time to learn from the past, let go of it and move forward. Maybe it’s time to become more future-focused.
The Least Most Important Day in Your Life One of my favorite cinematic character’s is Sylvester Stallone’s “Rocky Balboa”. I own all 6 of the “Rocky” series and both of the “Creed” spinoffs as well. I love them all. Except for Rocky 5. I hate Rocky 5. But, that’s beside the point. We need to focus here on a key thread in the storyline of Rocky 2. Rocky 2 opens with the ending scene from the Rocky 1 fight between Balboa and the reigning heavyweight champion of the world, Apollo Creed. The fight was brutal. Both men end up hospitalized. Rocky needed surgery to repair a damaged eye. The damage was so bad that Rocky was forced to retire from the sport that he loved. And it ripped his heart apart. Rocky tried moving on with his life in other arenas. Nothing was working. Even when he found a menial labor job to pay the bills, his heart, his mind, his total being ached. He desperately wanted – he needed – to get back around the sport he loved, boxing. Rocky was so desperate to get back into the ring, that he did the next best thing. He got back into the ring, the gym, environment and became. . .the janitor, the gofer, the nobody in the shadows. Rocky succumbed to the least most important day in a person’s life. Rocky dwelt in yesterday. Yesterday. The glory days. Or, the not so glorious days. The “do you remember when” or the “I wish I could forget” days. Some people live so deeply in yesterday that they sink into a mire that sucks the life out of them and holds them back from ever moving forward. They become the walking dead. It happened to Rocky. He sank so low that he lowered himself to carrying the spit bucket. The spit bucket was exactly as it sounds, a bucket into which a fighter spits water, saliva, mucus and blood. I’ll never forget the scene when Rocky, the one who was the first to go the distance with the champion of the world, the one who earned for himself a nearly god-like, legendary stature in the sport of boxing and especially in his home gym, that Rocky walked up to the practice ring so the “new” hotshot could grab a squirt from the water bottle and spit into the spit bucket Rocky was holding. I’ll never forget what it felt like as I watched the spit in the bucket splash out and hit Rocky in the face. To call it the low point of the man’s life is an understatement. It was the brutal, wet indictment of a man living in and clinging to the past. I’m also reminded of another scene in the Rocky series when Rocky’s manager, his father figure, Mickey, the most important man in Rocky’s life, challenged him,
challenged his manhood, in front of God and everybody in the gym because of Rocky’s work on the docks as a “debt collector” for an unscrupulous loan shark. And when Rocky weakly defended himself saying, “It’s a life,” Mickey roared back at him, “IT’S A WASTE OF LIFE!” Have you ever felt as if you’re wasting your life, carrying your version of Rocky’s spit bucket? Doing work that has become nothing more than a paycheck in order to pay bills? Have you ever fallen so deep that when you look into the mirror all you can see is a proverbial waste of life? I’ve been there. I hadn’t been to the top of the mountain but I had seen it. More than that, I had believed I could climb it. And then, one day, it came crashing down and no matter what I did to get up, another crash would come and I’d be down again. Here’s what I didn’t do: I didn’t leave the community of people who had held me up when times were good. Few, if any, knew the truth of the internal battles I was facing. Few, if any, knew what life’s circumstances had thrown at me. But, I was down and the count reached 9 . . . more than once. How did I finally get up for good? I believed the phrase, “This too shall pass,” even if I didn’t know how or when. And I remembered something I heard from a real-life boxing great when he said, “I’m either up or getting up.” So, if you’re carrying your spit bucket at this time of life, let go of it and press on. You’re either up or getting up. By the way, Rocky got up. He dug deep and became the heavyweight champion of the world. So, get up. You only need to become the champion of your own life. Nobody else, except perhaps your spouse and children if you have them, matters.
The Most Important Questions to Ask Yourself Regularly Have you ever taken a course in “Time Management”? In my opinion, there is an over-abundance of such courses and training available to you. Just go online, type “Time Management Courses” in the Search bar and voila! There will be pages of choices that offer to assist you in managing time better. Before you do that, may I offer a suggestion? Don’t bother. I hate to burst anyone’s bubble but this is one bubble that needs bursting right away. Are you ready? There is no such thing as time management. You cannot manage time. No matter what you do there will be 60 seconds to every minute, 60 minutes to every hour, 24 hours to every day, 168 hours to every week and roughly 8,736 hours to every year. You can’t stop them. You can’t speed them up or slow them down. And, you certainly can’t save any of them for another day, week, month or you. Time moves on, period. You cannot manage time. So, what can you do? You can only manage yourself. Better yet, you can lead yourself. Please remember this statement: If you don’t lead you, somebody else will. If you don’t take control of your days, weeks, minutes, hours and seconds, somebody else will. Eventually, the day will come when you look back and ask yourself, “Where did all the years go?” You will have lived a life full of regrets and missed opportunities. Let’s learn to ask ourselves life’s most important questions. Consider these: If you are spiritually minded, ask: How can I get to know God better? If you are focused on relationships, ask: Who do I need to invest more of my time into? My spouse? My child(ren)? A particular friend or set of friends? If you are business minded, ask: What is the most productive thing I can be doing right now? What other areas in your life do you want to improve and enjoy? Ask yourself how you can do them better. Here is an interesting exercise you might want to try: •
First, write down the lifestyle you desire to live. Be as detailed about it as possible. Picture your future family. Maybe you can envision where you’d like to
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travel. Where do you want to live? Want do you want to drive? Where and what would you like to eat? What kind of wardrobe would you like to own? What is missing from your life that you’d like to add? What is part of your life that you’d like to get rid of? Be as clear as possible. Write out how you’d like to live each day. Second, write down how much income you will need to support that lifestyle without going into debt. In today’s world (2020), it’s hard to imagine a family of four with the normal accoutrements of life (a home, car, normal cost of living a “comfortable middle-class lifestyle) doing so on less than $150,000 per year. If your desired lifestyle includes greater freedom, more options and choices, and future formal education for your children, that number could easily be closer to $250,000 per year or more. I know that can sound really bold, even outrageous. But, when is the last time you’ve ever talked with someone living the lifestyle you want to live to find out what it really takes to do so? Third, get educated on how you can legally create the income you need to live the life you desire. Know your options. Fourth, pick an option, get laser-beamed focused and go after what you want.
WARNING: You will have some very well-intentioned people try to throw you offcourse. It might be your parents, your spouse or your best friends. At some point, to get what you really want, you will have to tighten your belt, stiffen your resolve and go for it, no matter how well-intentioned the naysayers might be. I promise, go succeed properly and the naysayers will one day tell the world how glad they were to have encouraged you to pursue the path you chose. Final note on this point: There is no such thing as total control. You can only control two things in life: your attitudes and your actions. Life becomes much more peaceful when we come to grips with understanding that basic truth. Combine that with leading yourself according to your purpose and you will soar. Now, what are you going to do about it?
Who Are You…Really? At the end of the day, character counts. Who are you when nobody’s looking? When you look into the eyes of the person in the mirror, what do you see? I vaguely remember former President Jimmy Carter telling a story about himself learning one of his most important life lessons while serving his country as a Naval officer. This might not be the exact wording, but the message is accurate. The story revolved around an interview he had with a superior officer. The officer asked Carter, “Did you do your best today?” Carter answered, “No, Sir.” His superior officer replied, “Why not?” and ended the interview. Only you know if you gave your best effort today. Only you know if you were your best self today. Who are you when nobody’s looking? Be your best. Because, even when you think nobody’s looking, you still might have to “report in”. By the way, when you’re not at your best, when you fail, when you do or say something out of character…and you will…may I offer a piece of advice? Own it. Take responsibility for it. Learn from it. Become better and move on. None of us will ever be perfect in character on this side of eternity. But, that doesn’t give us a license to seek to be anything other than our best. Seek to make things right where you can and move on. Move on.
Love and Freedom, Peace and Rest One of the ongoing privileges I enjoy is a working relationship with some of the government leaders in my state. I believe it is the job of government to ensure that our citizens get to live their lives with those they love in a state of freedom, peace and rest. It is government’s job to create and protect the legal atmosphere that encourages each of us to go do the things that make us most happy, as long as that pursuit of happiness does not break the law or infringe on the rights of our fellow citizens. It is important to know our Constitutional rights. It’s probably also important to know what things are not necessarily our rights. For instance, it is the pursuit of happiness that was guaranteed to us. The outcomes we desire and sometimes irrationally demand are not guaranteed. I think it would be helpful if more of us remembered that. It is also the duty of government to stop that which is evil and punish evildoers. That means we must recognize and define “good” and “evil”. The primary source of our Declaration of Independence, the Holy Bible, is probably a good place to start. We were not created to slave and toil. We were created to do that which is good and right and true in an atmosphere of freedom, justice, righteousness and peace. How much better would life be if we did just that?
Summary So, there you have it. Continue to use this little booklet as an ongoing resource. Take time to review • • • • • •
The Most Important Day in Your Life The Most Dangerous Day in Your Life The Least Most Important Day in your Life The Most Important Questions to Ask Yourself Regularly Character Counts Love and Freedom, Peace and Rest
And, most of all, return often to what follows on the next page . . . The LifeBuilder’s Creed.
The LifeBuilder’s Creed
Today is the most important day of my life. Yesterday with its successes and victories, struggles and failures is gone forever. The past is past. Done. Finished. I cannot re-live it. I cannot go back and change it. But I will learn from it and improve my Today. Today. This moment. NOW. It is God’s gift to me and it is all that I have. Tomorrow with all its joys and sorrows, triumphs and troubles isn’t here yet. Indeed, tomorrow may never come. Therefore, I will not worry about tomorrow. Today is what God has entrusted to me. It is all that I have. I will do my best in it. I will demonstrate the best of me in it - My Character, Giftedness and Abilities to my family and friends, clients and associates. I will identify those things that are most important to do Today and those things I will do until they are done. And when this day is done I will look back with satisfaction at that which I have accomplished. Then, and only then, will I plan my tomorrow, Looking to improve upon Today, with God’s help. Then I shall go to sleep in peace, content. And if God should grant me another day, He and I shall face it together. If He should not grant me another day here on this Earth I can leave knowing that my mission was fulfilled, That I have completed to the best of my abilities, the task God sent me to do. And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.