Remembering is Forgetting - Douglas Diaz

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Do ugl as Diaz

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Do ugl as D iaz Solo Show

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E M E M E R I N G S F O R ETTING

REMEMBERING IS FORGETTING

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Curatorial Notes on Douglas Diaz’s Solo Sh o w

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Chabib Duta Hapsoro Exhibition Curator

Douglas Diaz began his path as an artist at a very mature age.

Previously, he was occupied with several activities at once, working as a designer and architect while teaching architecture in several universities in the United States. At a certain point, these overlapping jobs made him surfeited, feeling empty and lost. In 2014, he went for an excursion to Japan eventually getting lost and ending up in Nara Prefecture, about 3 hours from Tokyo. He stayed in a traditional inn owned by Sakamoto Kazuyuki, an abstract painter,

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inspired by Gutai Group—a post-war Japanese avant-garde art collective from around 1960s. Even though he was familiar with arts from a young age, Douglas remained fascinated with Sakamoto’s practices.

Sakamoto combined traditional sumi ink with contemporary art materials on a large paper, making spontaneous gestures, visualizing impulsive and expressive strokes. He moved quickly but calmly but deliberately.

His unusual gestures and visuals drew Douglas’ attention. What made him interested were not only the

en from Zen. By painting using this approach, his inner self fullyappeared naturally, in every moment of his actions.

Douglas wanted to experience this first hand. He left his all his jobs in the United States and dedicated himself to studying painting. He spent most of his time in Japan exploring this new calling. Later on, he realized that his painting practice was largely derived

Soon, painting became a necessity for Douglas. He routinely meditates for 15-20 minutes before starting a painting. It helps him concentrate and leads him to awareness. Towards the end of his meditation he usually acquires an idea, which manifests in a simple sentence or phrase,

Douglas Diaz

unpredictably beautiful results, but also the solemn process, where the artist is fully conscious and surrendering at the same time.

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“By painting, he not on ly seeks a therapeutic experience, he govern himself in orde r to understand his me ntal stat a practice of self-acc eptance.”

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Remembering is Forgetting marks the sixth year of Douglas Diaz’s journey as an artist. In this exhibition, Douglas has a particular interest in the act of remembering and forgetting. This idea originated from our conversation about the works, which is connected with a certain situation that pits a man to struggles with his memories.

This becomes urgent when Douglas experienced a broken-hearted moment when his beloved passed away. Even

also wishes to te and embrace it as

though the practice of abstract painting has automatically provided a meditative space for him, Douglas gains a new understanding: his art practices confronts him with his past.

Douglas Diaz

usually related to what he just felt. He then writes this phrase on the canvas, and makes it the basis of his energy to paint. In full force, he could scratch the canvas with charcoal, draw on it, or spill acrylic paints to create subtle forms, or even press it with an oil bar, to provide the basic rhythm of his gestures. Not long after, he will sink into a tranquil creation.

Douglas’ gestures are never an outburst. However, his great energy is often shown expressively on the canvas. He embraces it as an “inevitability”. Natural forces like gravity and chance, which present as unexpected possibilities, always become precious collaborators for Douglas. In the end, he comprehends that his position as an artist only contributes to a small intervention of things that already have their own order and nature in this world.

As a contemporary abstract painter, he is greatly influenced by the situation of his inner self, which is actually affected by moments of the past recorded in his mind.

By painting, he not only seeks a therapeutic experience, he also wishes to govern himself in order to understand his mental state and embrace it as a practice of selfacceptance.

I asked Douglas whether his practice of painting is remembering or forgetting. He answered both, after taking a long pause. I perceive that Douglas’ process of meditation is an attempt to capture memories, which lead him to find the core of his idea. This idea will bear the power to concretize his artistic practices. After he writes down the idea using pencil and charcoal, he begins to pour a can of paint along one side of the canvas spread out on the floor. Using a stick of wood or a squeegee, he draws the spilled paint in the same manner Japanese people mop their floors. Solid forms then appear at the base and blurred at the edges. We could see the act

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of ‘remembering’, concretizing the memories in this action. However, we will immediately realize that this action, simultaneously covers the sentence that he wrote before. We could call this act ‘forgetting’.

Forgetting could also be referred to as ‘accidental’ since we simply cannot remember everything. The same can be seen in Douglas’ strokes, solid in the beginning and increasingly blurred at the end, leaving thin scratches and subtle coloured dots.

Seeing Douglas’ gestures, we will understand how the process of remembering is connected to the act of forgetting. Douglas’ gestures allow him to control the realization of his own self-acceptance process in response to a certain memory/ mental state. As an artist, Douglas believes that humans have more emotional intelligence rather than intellectual intelligence. His painting practice is an emotional effort to realize his own being.

Douglas chooses to devout his energy and pours his emotions through painting instead of drowning in the jungle of wild thoughts, which threatens to immerse him in alienation.

In phenomenology studies, forgetting does not mean erasing only, it

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can also restore memories. The paradigm of forgetting as ‘reserves’ and ‘deletion’ always becomes a process that is mutually related and dependent on things and events that occur beyond the self, either memorable or traumatic, or even collective memory fabricated by external authorities. In this case, the practice of remembering is inseparable from the practice of forgetting.

This is relevant in the perspective of neuroscience. From this standpoint, forgetting is the essential part in remembering.

Memories require forgetting. Despite its large capacity, the human brain relies on its own system to forget (read: reserving and erasing memories) which is constructed by the human subconscious.

The human brain can be considered as an intermediary object between sensation and movement, which creates a series of mental states.

By giving the body the sole function to guide real memories and connect it with the current time, the practice to concretize memories, like what Douglas has done, will define memories as an independent substance. By way of this, the brain helps to remember helpful memories,

“... forgetting does not mean erasing only, it can also restore memories.”

while at the same time overriding others that are not helpful.

Douglas always witnesses the chances of reality, which is influenced by events in the past that he could not forget. Then he turns memories into solid substances as they are complicated and irritating.

Through gestures, Douglas is able to control his self, to surrender and be conscious of his own being in the present time. With his full awareness, he could recognize the reality around him and believe that he is remembering while forgetting specific things from the past.

In the end, he will become whole.

Just like the writings he scratches on the canvas before they are covered by the paint strokes. Those writings, though still vague or invisible, become the reason for the existence of Douglas Diaz’s paintings.

Douglas Diaz

“Those writings, though still vague or invisible, become the reason for the existence of Douglas Diaz’s paintings.”

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References Hilde Østby dan Ylva Østby, Adventures in Memory: The Science and Secrets of Remembering and Forgetting, Greystone Books, 2018 Paul Ricœur, Memory, History, Forgetting, University of Chicago Press, 2006 Reality of My Life, catalog of Douglas Diaz’s Solo Exhibition, Art & Art Gallery (Miami), 2017

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Meng in g at ad a l ah M el up a Catatan Kuratorial Pameran Tunggal Douglas Diaz Chabib Duta Hapsoro Kurator Pameran

Douglas Diaz mulai menjadi seniman dalam usia yang telah melewati matang. Sebelumnya ia tenggelam dalam beberapa aktivitas dan pekerjaan sekaligus, bekerja sebagai seorang desainer dan arsitek sembari mengajar arsitektur di beberapa universitas di Amerika Serikat. Beragam aktivitas ini membuatnya mengalami kejenuhan, kehilangan renjana dan kehilangan eksistensi diri dalam menjalani hidupnya. Pada 2014 ia pergi ke Jepang untuk bertamasya dan karena beberapa alasan ia tersesat di Prefektur Nara, yang berjarak sekitar 3 jam dari Tokyo. Ia tinggal di sebuah penginapan berasitektur tradisional yang dimiliki oleh Sakamoto Kazuyuki, seorang pelukis abstrak yang banyak terinspirasi oleh Kelompok Gutai—sebuah kolektif garda depan Jepang pasca perang pada dekade 60an. Kendati sudah akrab dengan praktik kesenirupaan sejak kecil, Douglas tetap terkesima dengan praktik berkesenian yang dijalani oleh seniman ini.

Sakamoto mencampur tinta sumi tradisional dengan bahan-bahan seni lukis konvensional di atas kertas berukuran lebar, melakukan gestur-gestur spontan untuk menerakan kualitas visual tertentu di atasnya secara spontan, impulsif dan ekspresif.

Seniman ini bergerak secara cepat sekaligus tenang. Gerakannya gesit namun jauh dari kesan terburu-buru. Beberapa gestur dan kualitaskualitas visual Sakamoto yang tidak biasa amat menarik perhatian Douglas. Ia bukan hanya tertarik pada keindahan yang dihasilkan dari proses-proses tak terduga, melainkan juga pada kondisi fokus dan keberserahan diri yang dialami Sakamoto pada setiap detik momen melukisnya.

Douglas ingin mengalami pengalaman itu sendiri.

Ia meninggalkan seluruh pekerjaannya di Amerika Serikat dan mendedikasikan dirinya sendiri untuk belajar melukis. Ia sering menghabiskan waktu di Jepang untuk menjelajahi panggilan baru ini.

Ia kemudian menyadari bahwa praktik melukisnya bertolak dari Zen. Melukis dengan pendekatan ini membuat dirinya sendiri hadir secara penuh dalam setiap momen tindakannya.

Praktik melukis ini tidak memerlukan waktu lama menjadi sebuah kebutuhan bagi Douglas. Biasanya

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Douglas melakukan meditasi selama 15-20 menit sebelum memulai melukis. Hal ini membantunya meraih konsentrasi yang menuntunnya kepada kesadaran penuh dan utuh atas kehadirannya di momen tersebut.

Menjelang akhir meditasi ia biasanya mendapatkan sebuah gagasan yang termanifestasi pada kalimat atau frasa sederhana, tentang apa saja yang ia rasakan. Kalimat itu seringkali ia tuliskan di atas kanvas sebagai sebuah awalan yang menjadi energi dasarnya untuk melukis. Dengan energi penuh ia bisa mencoret dengan arang, menarik tumpahan cat akrilik hingga menciptakan tarikan bidang yang subtil, menekan dengan batangan cat minyak (oil bar) untuk memberi ritme dasar gestur melukisnya.

Tak lama kemudian ia mulai tenggelam dalam penciptaan yang tenang dan rileks. Gestur melukis Douglas tidak pernah meledak-meledak. Namun, tak jarang energi besar yang berada di bawah kendali Douglas melalui gestur-gestur melukisnya membuncah secara ekspresif di atas kanvas. Ia merangkul dan menyadari hal itu sebagai sebuah keniscayaan.

Gejala-gejala alam seperti gravitasi dan kans (chance) hadir menjadi kemungkinan-kemungkinan yang tak terduga selalu menjadi kolaborator berharga bagi Douglas. Pada akhirnya ia kemudian menyadari posisinya sebagai seniman yang hanya memberi intervensi kecil kepada hal-hal yang sudah punya tatanan dan kodratnya sendiri di dunia.

Pameran Remembering is Forgetting menandai 6 tahun Douglas Diaz berkarya sebagai seniman. Dalam pameran ini Douglas juga punya ketertarikan ihwal laku mengingat dan melupa. Gagasan ini berawal dari perbincangan kami terkait dasar kekaryaan dia dan dihubungkan dengan situasi yang menempatkan seorang manusia untuk selalu bergelut dengan ingatan. Hal ini menjadi urgen saat Douglas mengalami momen-momen kesedihan dan kehilangan saat ditinggal mati oleh seseorang yang amat dikasihinya. Meskipun praktik melukis abstrak ini telah secara otomatis sudah memberikan ruang meditatif baginya, Douglas mendapatkan pemahaman baru pada praktik ini, yakni saat ia menghadapi dan bernegosiasi dengan masa lalu.

Sebagai pelukis abstrak, situasi batin memang sangat mempengaruhi praktik melukis Douglas.

Situasi batin itu sedikit banyak dipengaruhi oleh peristiwa-peristiwa masa lalu yang terekam oleh ingatannya. Dengan melukis, ia tidak sekadar mencari pengalaman terapeutik, melainkan juga mengondisikan dirinya untuk memahami keadaan mentalnya dan merangkulnya sebagai laku penerimaan diri.

ID yang menciptakan memori kolektif. Dalam hal ini laku mengingat tidak terpisahkan dari laku melupa.

Hal ini sebenarnya relevan dalam perspektif neurosains. Dalam perspektif ini melupa ternyata menjadi bagian penting dari praktik mengingat.

Dengan kalimat lain seluruh ingatan mencakup, bahkan mungkin mensyaratkan, elemen lupa. Meskipun memiliki kapasitas yang besar, otak memiliki kemampuan sendiri dalam melupa (baca: mencadangkan atau menghapus ingatan) yang dikonstruksi oleh alam bawah sadar manusia.

Douglas Diaz

Saya bertanya kepada Douglas apakah praktik melukisnya mewadahi laku mengingat atau melupa.

Setelah agak lama termenung dan berpikir Douglas menjawab keduanya. Proses meditasi Douglas menurut saya menangkap ingatan-ingatan yang berseliweran di benaknya, yang menuntunnya menemukan gagasangagasan inti. Hal ini kemudian melahirkan daya untuk mengkonkretkan ingatan-ingatan itu dalam sebuah praktik artistik. Setelah ia menuliskan gagasan pendek itu dengan pensil dan arang, ia kemudian mulai menuangkan sekaleng cat dengan warna-warna tertentu di sepanjang salah satu sisi kanvas yang ditaruh di atas lantai. Menggunakan sebilah tongkat kayu atau squeegee sablon ia kemudian menarik tumpahan cat itu seperti gerakan mengepel khas orang-orang Jepang. Lahirlah kemudian bidang-bidang warna yang solid di bagian pangkal dan kabur di bagian ujungnya. Kita bisa melihat laku mengkonkretkan ingatan pada tindakan ini. Tapi kita dengan segera juga menyadari bahwa tindakan itu juga menutup kalimat yang ia tuliskan di atas kanvas sebelumnya, yang mungkin bisa kita sebut sebagai praktik melupa. Melupa juga bisa disebut sebagai hal yang tidak disengaja karena kita tidak mampu mengingat segala hal, seperti bidang warna yang ditarik oleh Douglas yang hanya solid pada bagian awal dan makin pupus di bagian ujung, menyisakan goresan-goresan tipis dan noktah-noktah warna yang halus.

Otak dapat dianggap sebagai objek perantara antara sensasi dengan gerakan, yang akan membuat rangkaian keduanya membentuk kehidupan atau situasi mental tertentu. Dengan memberikan mandat kepada tubuh untuk membimbing ingatan yang nyata dan menghubungkannya dengan saat ini, praktik mengkonkretkan ingatan seperti yang dilakukan Douglas akan mendefinisikan ingatan sebagai substansi yang independen. Dengan cara ini otak membantu untuk mengingat kembali ingataningatan yang bermanfaat, dan di saat yang sama mengesampingkan semua yang tidak.

Melihat gestur melukis Douglas kita akan memahami bagaimana proses mengingat terhubung dengan laku melupa. Gestur-gestur melukis Douglas memberinya kendali untuk mewujudkan proses penerimaan dirinya sendiri menanggapi suatu ingatan atau mental state tertentu. Sebagai seniman Douglas percaya bahwa manusia lebih pandai dalam konteks emosional ketimbang intelektual. Tindakan melukisnya adalah upaya emosional untuk menyadari dan menginsafi keberadaan dirinya sendiri. Douglas memilih melukis untuk mengerahkan energi fisik dan mencurahkan emosinya alih-alih tenggelam dalam hutan pemikiran yang rumit dan buas yang menenggelamkan dirinya dalam momen keterasingan.

Douglas selalu melihat kans-kans dari realitas, yang dipengaruhi oleh peristiwa-peristiwa di masa lalu yang tak sanggup ia lupakan. Ia kemudian membuat ingatan itu menjadi hal yang solid karena mereka adalah substansi-substansi yang rumit dan membebani. Melalui gestur-gestur melukis, Douglas mampu memberikan upaya kendali untuk memberikannya sebuah momen sadar dan berserah dalam keberadaannya di masa kini. Dengan kesadaran penuh di momen saat ini ia menyadari realitas di sekelilingnya serta mempercayai bahwa ia mengingat sekaligus melupakan hal-hal di masa lalu. Dengan modus ini Douglas merasa sosoknya menjadi lebih utuh. Sama seperti tulisan yang ia tulis di atas kanvas sebelum ditutup oleh tarikan cat.

Tulisan-tulisan itu, meskipun masih tampak samar atau tidak terlihat sama sekali, menjadi alasan keberadaan lukisan-lukisan Douglas Diaz.

Dalam studi fenomenologi, melupa bukan berarti hanya menghapus melainkan juga menjadi modus bagi otak untuk melakukan penyimpanan atas beragam ingatan-ingatan. Paradigma melupa sebagai “cadangan” dan “penghapusan” ini selalu menjadi proses yang saling berkaitan dan bergantung pada hal-hal dan peristiwa-peristiwa yang terjadi di luar diri manusia, baik itu berupa peristiwa yang berkesan dan traumatik maupun kekuasaan eksternal

Bahan Bacaan Paul Ricœur, Memory, History, Forgetting, University of Chicago Press, 2006 Hilde Østby dan Ylva Østby, Adventures in Memory: The Science and Secrets of Remembering and Forgetting, Greystone Books, 2018 Reality of My Life, Katalog Pameran Tunggal Douglas Diaz, Art & Art Gallery (Miami), 2017

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Time has Betrayed Us Both graphite, charcoal, oil pastels, pigment, and polyurethane on canvas - 320 x 415 cm - 2020

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Douglas Diaz

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You Had A Dream graphite, oil pastels, house paint, pigment, and polyurethane on canvas 100 x 140 cm (dyptich) - 2020

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Douglas Diaz

You Let Me In graphite, charcoal, oil pastels, pigment, and polyurethane on canvas - 100 x 70 cm - 2020

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Douglas Diaz

Anahata graphite, charcoal, oil pastels, house paint, pigment, and polyurethane on canvas - 230 x 300 cm (dyptich) - 2020

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Douglas Diaz

The Whole Universe was There, in Your Eyes charcoal, oil pastels, house paint, pigment, and polyurethane on canvas - 220 x 280 cm - 2020

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Finding Ways to Let You Go graphite, charcoal, oil pastels, housepaint, and polyurethane on canvas 70 x 70 cm - 2020

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Douglas Diaz

Signs of Something Greater graphite, charcoal, oil pastels, housepaint, and polyurethane on canvas 82 x 72 cm - 2020

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Stillness graphite, oil pastels, house paint, pigment, and polyurethane on canvas 82 x 70 cm - 2020

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Douglas Diaz

Go Further graphite, oil pastels, house paint, pigment, and polyurethane on canvas 82 x 70 cm - 2020

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A Glimpse of Freedom graphite, charcoal, oil pastels, pigment, and polyurethane on canvas 320 x 300 cm - 2020

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Douglas Diaz

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It's Always been You graphite, oil pastels, house paint, pigment, and polyurethane on canvas - 150 x 190 cm - 2020

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Douglas Diaz

The Space Where You Get Lost in Me graphite, oil pastels, pigment, polyurethane on canvas - 155 x 210 cm - 2020

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Douglas Diaz

I Wish There was a Time Capsule Where We could Meet graphite, charcoal, oil pastels, pigment, and polyurethane on canvas - 320 x 274 cm - 2020

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Douglas Diaz

She Smiled. I Cried graphite, charcoal, oil pastels, pigment, and polyurethane on canvas 200 X 300 cm - 2020

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Solo Exhibitions 2020 Elegy, BeÍkanze, Miami, USA (forthcoming) Remembering is Forgetting, D Gallerie, Jakarta, Indonesia

My Love, Tokyo Bike, Los Angeles, USA 2019 Belonging, Artereal, Sydney, Australia

Who I am, ATT19, Bangkok, Thailand 2018 Love, Woof Pack, Bangkok, Thailand 2017 Reality of My Life, Art & Art Gallery, Miami, USA Shukke, LATAR, Jakarta, Indonesia Shukke, Art1, Jakarta, Indonesia Surrender, Art Stage, Singapore 2016 Surrender, Serindia, Bangkok, Thailand

My Tokyo, Tokyobike, New York, USA

Everything Is As It Is, Roppongi Hills, Tokyo, Japan 2015 Everything Suffers, Rzim, Sasayama, Japan Impermanence, Nambatei, Okayama, Japan

Douglas Diaz

REMEMBERING IS FORGETTING

Education 1998 Columbia University, Master of Science in Advance Architectural Design, New York 1995 California College of Arts and Crafts, Bachelors of Architecture, California

Group Exhibitions 2020 TBD, IGA X WSMA, Iga, Japan (forthcoming)

TBD, WSMA, Gose, Japan (forthcoming) 2019 Rebirth, WSMA, Gose, Japan

Hotel Art Fair, Bangkok, Thailand 2018 Soul, WSMA, Gose, Japan

Hotel Art Fair, Bangkok, Thailand

#Allthefeels, Artereal, Sydney, Australia

Freedom, Art Porters, Art Stage, Singapore 2017 Reality of My Life, Art Palm Beach, West Palm Beach, USA Love, Art Jakarta, Jakarta, Indonesia Ginga, WSMA, Tenakawa, Japan

Hotel Art Fair, Bangkok, Thailand

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muryo homma

2016 Humility, WSMA, Uda, Japan

Hotel Art Fair, Bangkok, Thailand Because This Exist, That Exist, WSMA, Uda, Japan 2015 Open Studio, Miami, USA

Emptiness, WSMA, Uda, Japan 2006 New Drawings, Matter, New York, USA 2005 Love: Conversation, Matter, New York, USA 1995 Untitled: Strategies of Awareness, New Langton Arts, California, USA

Residency 2015 – 2020 Studio residency, WSMA, Uda, Japan

Reviews Chalotorn Anchaleesahakorn, Love, Fine Art Magazine Volume 15, April-June 2018, p 52-55, Magazine Ariane Kupferman-Suttavong, “The many shapes of love”, Bangkok Post, 28 February 2018, https://tinyurl.com/ya4jo8lt

2000 – 2002 Pratt Institute, Adjunct Professor Undergraduate and Graduate School of Architecture, New York 1999 – 2000 Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Adjunct Professor Architecture and Product Design, New York 1999 – 2000 Bennington College, Adjunct Professor Digital Media, Vermont

Diamond Kanno

Selected Teaching 2000 – 2007 Parsons School of Design, Assistant Professor Integrated Design Curriculum, Product Design, and Design + Technology, New York

2002 – 2007 Columbia University, Adjunct Assistant Professor Graduate School of Architecture, New York

Douglas Diaz

Public Collection Art:1 New Museum, Jakarta, Indonesia Private Collections Works held in private collections in Australia, China, France, Germany, India, Indonesia, Japan, Kuwait, Panama, Philippines, Singapore, Sweden, Thailand, United Arab Emirates, United Kingdom, United States, and Venezuela

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CATALOGUE FOR Remembering is Forgetting A Solo Show by Douglas Diaz 28.03.20 - 30.04.20

CURATED BY Chabib Duta Hapsoro ENGLISH TRANSLATION BY Invani Lela Herliana ARTWORK PHOTOGRAPHY BY Muhammad Feno

EDITION 500 copies PUBLISHED BY D Gallerie, Jakarta, Indonesia March 2020

DESIGNED BY Kotasis 333 Surabaya, Indonesia www.kotasis.com

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Jl. Barito I No.3, Kebayoran Baru Jakarta 12130, +62 21 739 9378 dgalleriejakarta@gmail.com www.dgalleriejakarta.net

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