Sheleena Doney: All-Star Mom

WORDS ALEXIS PATTERSON | PHOTOGRAPHER NICK PRENDERGAST

IT’S LIKE A SCENE OUT OF A ROMANTIC COMEDY: Boy spots girl at a party and falls for her instantly. She’s with a mutual friend, someone he caught up with a few minutes prior. He pretends he just spotted the friend and launches into the same conversation they’d already had—he couldn’t think of a better way to introduce himself to the blonde who had captivated him. It works. She ditches her summertime boyfriend, and they live happily ever after.

In this story, she is Sheleena Doney. He is NBC 5 sports anchor Pat Doney. Their meetcute took place during their days at Liberty University; they married shortly after graduation. Daughter Barlow, now 7, was born while Pat was anchoring sports at a station in Louisville, Kentucky. Son Hudson, 4 ½, arrived after Pat’s career took the Doneys to Dallas-Fort Worth. Visiting with Sheleena at their home in North Richland Hills, it’s easy to see why Pat adored her right away.

He called me the day after we met. He was like, “I want to take you out, whatever night. But can you pick me up?” I had a car at school, and he didn’t. So he thought, She’s going to pick me up and then I’ll drive. Well, I pick him up, and I had a stick shift, and he didn’t know how to drive it. So we spent the whole sophomore year with me driving everywhere. I give him a hard time about it now.

I always tell people when they get married, “Wait [to have children] if you can, a few years, because your life totally changes.” In a good way, but it definitely changes.

Before, Pat and I used to watch a lot of TV together, and now we choose our time differently.

Last night, he was home, and we just talked because we have such limited time. I feel like we kind of pass each other a lot because we’re tagteaming with the kids. If we’re going to get a babysitter, I want to go out to dinner or go do something; I don’t want to sit in front of a TV. Things like that have definitely changed, but parenthood has also changed my love for him. Watching him with the kids—I mean, he’s the best. He’s so hands-on.

We moved here in April 2013, and I joined a moms group that wasn’t going to start until September. The summer was rough, with a 4-month-old; Pat was working, and we had one car at the time. So when he went to work, I was just hanging out at home with the baby. I was desperate for friends. I was like, “I have to get out of the house. All we do is walk to the park and nap.” The moms group was the biggest blessing. All the people I met, they are still my best friends here.

I’ve wanted to adopt since I was probably in middle school. There was a family at our church who adopted, and it kind of just always stuck with me. So when things were getting serious with Pat, I was like, “I just really want to adopt, and I don’t know if that’s something you’ve ever thought about.” It was not on his radar at all. But being the reporter that he is, he did his research on adoption and he was all on board.

We got a phone call on a Saturday morning, and they were like, “We had a baby born last night. Can you come to the hospital?” No notice. So we packed up and went to the hospital. We saw him about 20 hours after he was born. It’s hard to explain; you walk in the nursery and there’s a baby there who a minute ago wasn’t yours, and then he’syours. It was very emotional. You’re like, “Wait, I didn’t even know about you three hours ago, and now I’m holding you and you are my son.”

I remember going to his well visit when he was 6 months old and saying, “I think he’s a little behind.” When you’re a mom, you hold your kid on your side and they hold their head up. Other babies the same age could do it, but Hudson wasn’t holding his head up. I was like, “Why?” The pediatrician thought he should start physical therapy, and the physical therapist said that you do the therapy, and if it doesn’t work, then you go see a neurologist. I’m like, “No, I want to go see a neurologist now.” I don’t do well with lingering waiting.

So we went to a neurologist to present our concerns and ask her to order an MRI. She looked at Hudson a bit and said, “I can tell you right now he has cerebral palsy.” The technical term for his brain malformation is schizencephaly. It is like the second most rare brain disorder there is. That caused his cerebral palsy.

Pat and I got in the car and looked at each other and started crying. It was just so sudden. Then, about a week later, we did the MRI and got the actual results. It was shocking. I mean, seeing the pictures and seeing what’s missing.

He is probably missing about 30% of his brain.

It definitely took a while, because there was a really big grieving part where I was probably not the best mom to Barlow and him—but honestly, thank God for Barlow. She is the best with him. She already is like, “Can I put his medicine in?” She wants to help. Every night she prays for him: “God, please be with my brother. His arms and legs don’t work very well.” She has a good heart. That’s made it easier. We also do one-on-one things. I try to be very present. I’m room mom at her school. I want her to see me doing those things, knowing she is important.

I started running last year, and I enjoy that. I started pushing Hudson in 5Ks. He’s on a racing team, Team Hoyt. That’s been fun, and it’s a stress reliever. Barlow plays tennis; Pat plays a little, and they’ll ride their bikes to the park and play on the tennis courts. Barlow enjoys that, and she does gymnastics.

Yes. I just feel like it makes you a better mom. If I’m constantly working and doing for everyone else, it kind of drains me. So on a Saturday morning, I’ll say, “I’m going to Target.” Pat will say, “Oh, you want to take Barlow?” I’m like, “No, I want to go to Target by myself. I need to get some groceries, but I also want to walk around and do nothing.” It’s just nice to even just veg on the couch for an hour.

I don’t even know what I’m doing tomorrow, so thinking about the future is like, aagh! But I want to travel and enjoy things with them. I obviously see us staying here. I always tell my daughter she’s never allowed to move out of Texas. She’s already saying, “I’m going to get married and leave you.” I’m like, “Stop. I don’t want to talk about this.” I think Hudson’s diagnosis has made us super close. We call ourselves the four musketeers. It’s just different. That’s the only way I can really say it. I don’t ever want them to leave, but no, I do. I want Barlow to grow up, get married and have babies, but live close to me.