Divine Feminine Queen
Volume 2 - Spring Edition
EDITORS LETTER “Uplifting Our Fellow Queens While Also Loving Ourselves” That Is The Theme And Message I Hope You Get Out Of Each Article In This Edition. Let’s change the black woman mentality. We need
unstoppable as a community. Let’s wake up and
to start looking forward because time is of the
take this time to really access ourselves! Let’s take
essence. What are you doing today to change
this time to see who we are giving our time and
yourself? What are you doing today to uplift the
energy to! Let’s take this time to be selfish about
black women around you? What are we doing today
our love lives, let’s take this time to start supporting
to be the light and uplift these young black queens
our own businesses. Let’s take this time to build
who are looking up to you for guidance? They are
our own business, let’s take this time to go for our
our future, if we want to make any real change to
dreams because they are achievable and you will
the community of black women it starts with what
achieve it! I have faith in you. I believe in you and
we teach them because quite frankly black woman,
i need you to believe in yourself. We need to start
you are powerful! You are even more powerful and
uplifting each other and stay on code.
Queen
Much love to you,
I was at the point where I was fed up with men playing games with my emotions, all while having nothing to show for it. I had made up my mind: I was only going to talk to older men because I was a woman beyond my years and these younger guys were just not cutting it. The first older guy I met was in the spring post-graduation. He was 45 years old and I met him in a nightclub near Howard University. He was cute, quirky, and started chatting with me. I thought he was cool and we exchanged numbers. Through our subsequent conversations, I found out that he was a plastic surgeon. When I found that out, I felt like I hit the motherload of older men. A doctor—which symbolizes automatic success, maturity, and husband material for most women. The second guy I met was a small business owner, former Marine, and tall, dark and handsome. On our first date, he expressed that he wanted children and a home with me. I was a little bit caught off guard by that. However, with him, my wish was his command, and I loved that. The last guy I talked to asked me if I wanted something to eat. I then ordered pizza and he complained about the cost. So me now talking to this business owner and former Marine was huge, in addition to being a comeup from the last guy I talked to. Unsplash/Gabriela Gutierrez
The situation that had scared me with this second guy arose when we first had sex. The sex was actually pretty good. It even got intense to the point where it made me feel
Age Ain’t Nothing
uncomfortable. He was giving me the standard oral sex that I was use to, but when he got close
But A Number
to my ass and started eating it, I was caught completely off guard. I commented to him and said, “Ummmm, that’s my butt,” to which he Unsplash/Roksolana Zasiadko
replied, “I know.”
I was in total disbelief that he was eating my ass, and was kind of disturbed about it, too, because I definitely would not do that for him or anyone else. Well, let me take that back. If my husband washed his ass or had just gotten out of the shower, then I would consider. However, as I noticed, the guy before me had yet to put on a new condom and was rubbing his unprotected genitalia on my vagina
Unsplash/Sophie Dale
and I totally bugged out. Ninetyfive percent of my previous sexual partners had used a condom, and
I then entered into a point in my
I found it intriguing that older men
the fact that he chose to go off and
life where I was downright fatigued
with a wife and children were still
do his own thing pissed me the
by men and by the constant
behaving in a flirtatious manner
hell off. I called him out on it and
disappointment of dating. It made
and collecting phone numbers
he responded by saying, “I’m giving
me bitter; it made me mean; and it
like they weren’t committed men.
you oral.” I then responded by
made me not like myself. I wanted
So, knowing what I was doing and
saying, “I don’t care.” And I truly did
to take advantage of men and did
partially out of spite, I gave the
not. I did not trust him completely,
not care to settle for a man with no
aspiring computer engineer my
regardless of whether he was going
money. I went out with my friends
number, also because he offered
down on me.
to a bar on U Street, where I met a
to take me out to lunch. He treated
group of successful older men that
me better than all the single guys
So then I dashed off, down the
were just having a guys’ night out
my age treated me. In the past,
the ultimate sin of adultery. How is it that the girl who
steps, getting my shoes from
on the town.
when I treated people well, I still
has endured so much pain, letdown, and trauma in
got screwed in the end. I decided to
the course of dating still feels guilty doing what has already been done to her?
beside the front door, and unlocking
Unsplash/Victoria Feliniak
said door to leave. Meanwhile, he’s
He was handsome and approached
change gears and go on a date with
running down the steps behind me
me offering to buy me a drink. He
a married man. I was absolutely
to then close the door as I try to
was also from Jamaica, having
doing the wrong thing but I was
At the time, I started to consider the concept of karma.
leave. That was one of the scariest
moved to the States to become
just so mad at life for hurting me
What is karma? It is the force that ensures that the
moments of my life. He eventually
a computer engineer, and he was
time and time again. I wanted to be
energy and actions you inflict on others come back to
let me leave after he said his piece,
in his mid-thirties. After I asked
bad as opposed to being hurt.
you in the same form or another. At the time, I was not
but I still ended up running to my
him about his wedding ring,
car with no shoes on, stunned at
he disclosed to me at the very
We ended up going to lunch one
in my own life. I later ended things with the future
what had just happened. At that
beginning that he was married.
day at a Cuban restaurant around
computer engineer, because I realized that I could not
moment, I realized that I had no
Actually, all the men that were out
the corner from my father’s house.
have that dark cloud that was karma hanging over my
business dating a man that old and
that night were married. They were
I have to admit that it was nice, but
head.
that I was out of my league in doing
just letting their hair down by being
also awkward at the same time.
so.
in our company.
I knew that I was participating in
recognizing the influence of this well-known concept
-
Nia
4 Things That You Need To Add To Your Beauty Regimen Today! A great beauty regimen looks very different depending on who you are. However, there are some things that we all have in common and should prioritize. Although they are not often thought about, they can make a big difference to your overall look.
Hands I would first like to talk about
Unsplash/Joanna Kosinska
hands, which are an often neglected but important part of
Nails
your beauty regimen. Something that a lot of people forget to do is
Another neglected area is your
nails. This can lead to brittle,
to moisturize their hands. No one
nails. People spend a lot of time
broken, and even painful nails.
wants to be out and about and then
focusing on the appearance of
If you love to get acrylics
realise that their hands are looking
their nails but then neglect the
done, then make sure you are
dry and crusty with no lotion in
health, whereas both are equally
still looking after your natural
sight.
important. Good nail care is
nails underneath them. This
imperative, whether that be a
means getting your old acrylics
This is why I make sure that I buy
simple coat of clear gloss and
professionally removed and
a little portable hand lotion and
neatly trimmed nails, or more
maybe even taking a break in
put one in every coat or bag that I
elaborate styles and acrylics. The
between getting a fresh set.
own so that I never forget it. I also
style you choose is up to you. The
make a habit out of ensuring that
most important aspect is that
Something I do to preserve my
I use hand cream every time that
you are consistent with your nail
nail health is two weeks on and
I get my hands wet, as well as to
upkeep and health.
two weeks off. During my two weeks off, I make sure I still have
wear gloves when doing things like
Unsplash/Kelly Sikkema
washing the dishes, as the soap
A lot of women get acrylics for
polish on my nails, but I allow
can irritate your skin and dry it out
weeks and months on end whilst
them time to breathe and absorb
considerably.
completely neglecting their own
nail health treatments.
Black women are as innately intelligent as any other group of people. Nevertheless, the following are ways in which we in particular might improve our intellectual health. MASTER A NEW LANGUAGE Many Black women are multilingual by virtue of speaking English and any additional languages native to the environment in which we were raised. Beyond that, Black women do not often seek to learn languages, unless we have an immediate need for doing so. While this is also varyingly true for others, it still remains that Black women seldom engage in recreational language learning. Multilingualism is but one benefit of language learning. The mental exertion that is required of the process fortifies one’s memory and increases brain matter density. Beyond supporting brain health, language acquisition also teaches the learner discipline, as well as about Tumblr/radical-eve
the culture that surrounds the language. Tumblr/the-wolf-and-moon
Flickr/shiriki-1899
REMAIN OPEN TO GROWTH AND NEW EXPERIENCES
ENROLL IN ACADEMIC COURSES In reality, there are innumerable ways in which we as Black A number of recent studies have misleadingly labeled Black women
women might improve our intellectual health. Instead of
as “the most educated group in the United States.” While this
attempting to exhaust the list, it might be more productive to
statement suggests that Black women are the most educated over
orient our attention to what all the available avenues share in. To
all, it simply means that Black women outperform Black men in
grow intellectually, one must be able to discern both the value of
degree earning by a wider margin than other races of women within
and need for such growth. This is in fact what defines intellectual
their racial groups.
health, which is the measure of one’s affinity for newness.
Truly, Black women hold a fewer number of degrees than most
Accordingly, though Black have been repeatedly scorned the
other groups of women. There is thus much room for us to grow
world over, we must take care to not allow the pain to discourage
within the realm of higher education. Even for those of us who are
us from exploring that which we do not already know as safe. It
averse to higher education or have already completed it, there is
is by overcoming our fear of further pain that become well within
even greater room for us to become lifelong learners, doing as little
ourselves as well as more valuable in the eyes of others.
as enrolling in the occasional free online course to continually grow our knowledge and skillsets.
-
Aurora
The masses have overwhelmingly praised Keke for helping to dispel the sense of shame that often plagues those who battle acne. Many have used words like “brave,” “transparent,” or “courageous” to describe Keke’s feat. While they might be correct in that, one cannot help but notice the absence of these same words being used to describe another of the entertainer’s recent actions. A short time before sharing about her PCOS-related acne, Keke posted to Twitter about something of an entirely different nature. In lieu of a series of photographs, the singer, actress, and television personality published a video. The video features Keke kissing her longtime, white Dutch partner Styn before looking at him suspiciously. The caption states: “Rare footage
How Keke
of me in the process of becoming randomly suspicious of someone I trust because I struggle with
Palmer
distinguishing reality from my crippling anxiety and emotional
Expresses
sydneynoels.tumblr.com
Self-Love
PLAYBOY
trauma :”) .” The post was intended to be funny, and yet, it was received as being
lose their Blackness,” one user
the Black community tearing down
If tasked with having to identify
an accompanying caption. The
far from that. Black men and
stated. Another implored, “Keke.
Black women for that for which it
ways in which Keke Palmer
photographs were selfies that
women alike spewed vitriol in the
We’re free. We don’t have to do
has abstained from criticizing Black
exhibits self-love, many would
candidly depicted Keke’s makeup-
comments section. One is able to
this.”
men—this referring to the fact that
likely point to a certain post
free, acne-ridden face. In the
surmise from what they wrote that
that the Black American singer,
caption, Keke discussed her
their upset stemmed from their
The tone of these comments
of Black men exclusively fetishize,
Chooses
actress, and television star
journey to discovering she has
discovery that Keke was dating
differs quite considerably from that
pursue, and maintain relationships
recently made to her Instagram
polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS),
a “colonizer,” as many called her
of the response to her experiences
with white women, moreover while
To Love
account. The post consisted
which she also shared was the
boyfriend, Styn. “Black women
with extreme acne. It is triggering
viewing Black women as being
of a series of photographs and
cause of her extreme acne.
dating white men automatically
to observe yet another instance of
inferior.
Through Whom She
a grossly disproportionate number
The Right Fragrance Can Make You Feel At Home. Scents can not only transport you back in time or prompt you to remember certain meaningful moments, but can also create the right atmosphere for your well-being. Our sense of smell is our strongest sense, and it is powerful because our olfactory system is in the same part of the brain that affects emotions, memory, and creativity. This particular part of the brain activates our smell and is interconnected with areas of the brain that store emotional memories. How your home smells can affect your mood, positively or negatively, and so it is important to choose the right fragrance to make your home smell like a sanctuary. To achieve this goal, some principles of aromatherapy might come in handy. To create a relaxing atmosphere, lavender is a good choice. On the other hand, to create an energizing and clean ambience, citrus scents are perfect. However, if what you are looking for is a more a cozy-like vibe, then wood and smoky scent are the right choice.
Those with expert noses
Bedroom. If you want to relax, lavender essential
typically mix and match scents
oil will do the trick, but if you are preparing a
to use them in different parts
sexy night with your partner, opt for frankincense
of their homes. You can do
instead. If you want your underwear drawer to
the same without having all
smell wonderful, put some exotic essential oil like
their knowledge. You just
ylang-ylang, rose or jasmine in a cotton ball and
need some savoir faire to find
leave it in your drawers. They will smell fantastic
out which essences combine
every time you open them. To fragrance the
well, along with a burner, a
clothes in your wardrobe, mix up a couple of drops
vaporizer, or even just a cotton-
of lavender and geranium essential oil, together
wool piece to thoughtfully put
with basil essential oil, and then soak a cotton ball
throughout your place, like in
in the oil concoction, leave it inside your wardrobe
the following examples: Unsplash/Douglas Sheppard
Unsplash/Devon Janse van Rensburg
to infuse the aroma on your clothes.
Entrance. Add some vanilla essence into your diffuser and get ready to welcome people into your place. The smell of vanilla is very inviting but if it is too sweet for you, then you can change it for another spicy essence. It will work wonders, too. Kitchen. To neutralize bad odors in your kitchen, use spicy essential oils, such as cinnamon, cardamom, or clove. Simmer some water on your stove, and after, add a couple of drops of each of these oils to get rid of the strong smells that gravitate toward your kitchen after cooking your meals.
Unsplash/Jason Briscoe
Unsplash/Jon’Nathon Stebbe
Living Room. To freshen up your living room or another corner of your place, prepare a mix containing a few drops of pine or lime essential oil with water inside of a bottle spray. This will bring some natural scent in to boost the mood of your house. Unsplash/Sidekix Media
Bathroom. Eucalyptus, sage, and lemon are perfect to liven the bathroom. They will keep it fresh with a clean smell.
Rian
My Big, Fat Cheap Date Story
I have gone without sex for
school. He asked to see me later
Kenneth asked me to meet him
approximately four to five months
that evening and I kindly told him,
at the W hotel on a rainy day and
now, and I have never been
“There is no need, because I am
I asked him if we could go to the
hornier. Some days, I feel proud
no longer interested. Good luck
movies. He did not seem to want
for not budging and keeping my
with studying.” I was in awe that
to do that, so I asked, “What do you
commitment to myself. Other days,
he canceled again. I left the office
want to do?” He responded, “I will
I am on the brink of contacting
and treated myself to $50 king crab
pick you up and we will go from
a former guy I dated or sex
legs and a bottle of Moscato on the
there.”
partner. However, I feel somewhat
Wharf. We ended up getting a drink at the
empowered that I have not allowed someone to take anything from me
While I was shopping for the
new rooftop French restaurant
that could possibly leave me feeling
perfect candle to burn in my
and bar, La Vie, next door to my
potentially empty or used.
apartment, I received a call from
building. Going up the steps of the
Kenneth, the 30-year-old short guy
building, he was impressed by the
My date for Friday was canceled
I met at Park at 14th, a local night
decór, which was a panoramic view
hours before, by David, the
club. I did not really like him, but
of the Potomac. The restaurant
handsome guy from pharmacy
rather the attention he showed me.
had green felt furniture, and roses hanging from the ceiling. We were seated immediately and I was looking through my Louis Vuitton bag for my lip gloss to reapply when the waitress asked for a card for the tab. Kenneth then went on to look at me as if he expected me to give my card over to start a tab. In response, I zipped my bag right up and put it down in the seat beside me. He then shook his head and gave over his card. As soon as the bartender left, I asked him, “Do you feel uncomfortable paying for my drink? If so, let me know.” He said that he did not feel uncomfortable putting his card down on the tab, but that it would have been nice if I had offered. I went on to explain that
Unsplash/Joanna Kosinska Unsplash/Rachel Walker
he asked me to go out, and that in
the beginning stages of dating, I
to say that he was hungry, which
expect the man to pay. He seemed
was surprising to me because
to disagree and the date went
we had just left a restaurant. He
downhill from there.
continued on and asked what I had in my apartment to eat, and I told him that he did not want to know.
Source: Unsplash/Jiroe
He continued badgering me about what I had up there. I was honest
We finished our drinks and took a
and told him that it was king crab
stroll on the boardwalk, stopping
legs. He said, “Let’s go up,” and I
at the edge to look at the water, the
told him, “No.”
beautiful lights, and the boats. He got behind me and started holding
When I saw this little man, about
me, stroking my butt. I moved his
5’5, start whining and throwing
hand up to my waist and he asked
a tantrum because I would not
me if I was attracted to him, for not
let him up to my place to eat my
the first time. I said, “Yes.”
king crab legs, I was amused and laughed on the inside. He probably
Man was I lying to this man. He
had an agenda to get into my
was nothing that I would want in a
pants. Ha! Not a chance.
man. I just liked the initial attention he showed me. He then went on
We then went back to the parking garage where he parked, and he had the worst attitude as I went
Unsplash/Kelly Sikkema
up to my apartment from the garage. I found it interesting how quick someone could show their true motives when they did not get what they wanted. I thought it was very interesting, and from then on, I learned how important it is to set your own expectations and boundaries. I was not asking Unsplash/Jiroe
for a lot—just for a gentleman to be respectful and cover the date he asked me out on. Yet, Kenneth seemed to have higher expectations of me. -
Nia