Spectrum (March 2020): Phobia Returns to Haunt...Empty Hallways?

Phobia Returns to Haunt . . . Empty Hallways?

Phobia ‘29 Staff Writer

Off shooting my role in the upcoming Stephen King film adaptation, I, Phobia, rematerialized in halls eerily quiet except for a faint whistling from Mr. Shaheen’s office. Upon entering, I discovered his computer endlessly replaying a homemade ASMR tape of common Midwestern bird calls.

On a separate tab, Mr. Casey was logged in. He had left open a draft replying all to the emergency shutdown email only with “:(”.

It has been lonely here, though the school WiFi is finally fast enough for a VPN to load everyone’s stream of Instagram challenges and #coronacation posts. If children are the future, I am lucky to be a ghost.

The salmon in Fr. O’Neill’s tank have evolved legs and an acute fondness for maple cookies. One of the fish, with a particularly large head, has become a certified Apple teacher and spearheaded the transition to a digital curriculum.

Sometimes I think I feel the math posters tremble at the hum of Mr. Gustad’s 2020 RAM 1500 quad cab with four wheel drive and military-grade headlights. Sometimes I think Mr. Griffin’s Shakespeare action figure is calling me to sweep past the sentient lifeforms in the wrestling mats and the sousaphone echoing Dvorak’s Fifth in the band room and the cauldron of bat stew in the cafeteria towards the chapel crumbling without a charismatic theology teacher there to sing “Our God Is an Awesome God.” The silence is a horror surpassed only by pumpkins not smashed.

It is no fun haunting an empty school. I, Phobia, await your return.

Farewell,

Phobia