CHRONICLES OF A CHRONIC PEOPLE PLEASER

By BeTrice Casada, RDH, BA, MA

When reflecting on my journey, one thing becomes clear: it’s through trials that we discover our truest selves. Some of my biggest life lessons have also been the scariest ones, but it’s what I chose to do with these lessons that have taught me the most. I’ve had to decide whether to let my fears take me under or to rise above, learning and adding these lessons to my toolbelt.

For my 20+ year journey in dentistry I quickly learned that for those in health care and service-oriented roles, the weight of expectations can be incredibly overwhelming. We are conditioned to be caregivers, to anticipate the needs of our patients over our own, and to go above and beyond to prove our worth. After 20 years in the service industry, experiencing the immediate gratification that you receive from patients for doing a job well done—the people-pleasing bug began to take root and carry over into regular life. Throw in friends, a husband, kids, and pets, I was well on my way on my chronic people-pleasing journey.

I’ve always been a natural nurturer. My first job in dentistry, as a high school dental assistant for an oral surgeon, was a challenging yet rewarding experience. Despite fainting three times initially, I quickly adapted and found immense satisfaction in making patients feel welcomed and comfortable. I anticipated the doctor’s needs and often worked long hours to support my team. This sense of accomplishment and motivation to excel became a core part of my identity.

When I transitioned to dental hygiene, I savored the independence it offered without the stress of being in charge. However, it magnified my people-pleasing tendencies. Balancing schedules, calming anxious patients, maintaining a positive attitude, and supporting the dentist kept me constantly on my toes. Despite

my efforts, I began to feel a slow burn of resentment, questioning why others didn’t put in the same effort to care for me.

Climbing The Mountain

As I continued to give my all, my company, at the time began to notice me and an opportunity arose to move into a leadership role. Could I take on more responsibility? Would I be able to balance leading others while continuing to keep up appearances of being everything to everyone?

As I stepped into the role of Director Of Operations, it truly was a defining moment for me. I was no longer responsible solely for patient care, a one-on-one experience. I was now responsible for an entire team, ensuring they had the resources, support, and leadership to succeed.

Initially, I approached leadership with the same mindset as before: if I gave my all and showed up for others, my team would recognize my hard work and respond positively. I answered emails late into the evening, handled team conflicts, and shielded everyone from stress. However, I soon realized that the higher I climbed, the more demands were placed on me. Could I handle it all? No, I could not.

The stress started to take its toll. Anxiety, sleepless nights, weight gain, burnout, and I focused more on my team than my own family, this was not the life I wanted to lead. I climbed the mountain only to find it was not the view I expected.

Learning To Prioritize Myself

I realized that as a woman in leadership, I felt the need to work twice as hard to prove myself. Was I too soft? Too hard? Did my team believe in my competence? I internalized these concerns for years but eventually realized that leadership isn’t about perfection—it’s about sustainability.

I had to start prioritizing myself over others, a foreign concept to me. This was not a simple flip of the switch. It took numerous attempts, and I still struggle, but I’ve learned that this is part of being human. The joy in life often comes from our hardest times, and it’s the rise of the hero within ourselves that makes life worth living.

PROTECTING MY WELL-BEING

My story is not unique. Women in business often juggle responsibilities that span both personal and professional life. The expectation to be “always on” can lead to burnout, and without proactive stress management, we risk running on empty.

I’ve realized that prioritizing self-care is not a luxury but a necessity. Here are some tips that have made my life joyful again:

1. Setting Clear Boundaries without Guilt

As a chronic people pleaser and high-performing woman, I also struggle to say no. I do not want to let anyone down, but boundaries are essential for long-term success. Setting limits on work hours, being clear about my availability, and delegating responsibilities are critical:

Blocking off time in the calendar for deep work–mornings are my prime time.

Setting “no work” zones–no checking emails after 7 pm. (Still working on this one)

Communicating my expectations with my team so they understand my availability and understand my response time.

2 . Self-Care is a Leadership Strategy

On my yearly development plan for my company, I listed self-care as an area I wanted to continuously develop. I took on the mindset that self-care should not be viewed as a reward but as a daily focus and part of my professional success.

Morning mindfulness and meditation–starting my morning with a minimum of 15 minutes of meditation or deep breathing has been a game changer. I notice that if I skip this critical step in my morning, stress bothers me, more often than not.

15-20 minutes of physical movement, such as yoga, a walk, or a workout, which boosts my energy even before coffee

Scheduled breaks throughout the day to recharge instead of pushing through.

3. Support Systems

Community is one of the best strategies I have incorporated. When I’m stressed, I tend to pull away from the world and throw myself into work. However, I quickly realized that I’m my best when I have a community of women around me who can resonate with what I am going through and can be a simple sounding post during my toughest times.

I work from home when not traveling. Working from a friend’s home occasionally does wonders for my focus and overall mood. Despite working on different tasks, the company helps.

DEW-ing it together. The community and people I have come to know in the DEW family have been one of my lifesavers. Being part of DEW-life has exposed me to a network of like-minded women. I am so blessed to be part of this community.

Professional coaching, provided by my company, has been a game-changer. My coach helps to keep me accountable and challenges me to look at situations differently.

Healthy Leadership

Many women strive to balance ambition and self-care. When I shifted my focus from overworking to well-being, I found that I could thrive in leadership and create a healthier, more productive workplace. Work isn’t about how much we can sacrifice but about how well we take care of ourselves along the way. Ultimately, change and transformation must come from within. I encourage you to prioritize and advocate for yourself. Remember, selfcare in leadership is not a luxury—it is a necessity.

About the author:

BeTrice Casada, RDH, BA, MA is a seasoned dental hygienist with over two decades of experience in the field. Her passion for dentistry extends beyond clinical care—she now serves as the Director of Practice Onboarding at Imagen Dental Partners, where she leads with a deep understanding of the dental team’s mindset. Committed to preserving clinical autonomy, she ensures a seamless and empowering integration experience for new partner practices.

Beyond dentistry, BeTrice a dedicated yoga and meditation practitioner, she incorporates mindfulness into both her personal and professional life. She is also a proud backup singer in a band, embracing creativity and balance in all aspects of her journey. Currently, she is developing a wellness program for dental professionals, integrating mindful techniques with accessible physical movement to support overall well-being in the profession.

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