VI I I
for voice and orches tra
II
Te xt by Kathryn Le vy
III
Dennis Tobenski IV
Only Air (2011 – 2013)
Text by Kathryn Levy
Dennis Tobenski
in memory of the LGBT teenagers who have taken their own lives because of anti-gay bullying
Copyright © 2013.
Program Note Justin Aaberg, 15 Justin Aaberg had just finished his freshman year at Anoka High School when he hanged himself on July 9, 2010. He was one of seven teenagers who took their own lives that year at that high school alone, at least two more of which were also gay. He was also a cellist and composer. Seth Walsh, 13 Seth Walsh was a gentle child who once apologized to a bed of flowers for having picked one. He preferred to relocate bugs instead of killing them. And despite his mannerisms and style of dress, he struggled with his sexuality, even though his mother and grandparents tried their best to make him more at ease with himself. After one of countless times of being harassed by his fellow students, he came home from school, told his mother Wendy that he was going to play with their dogs in the back yard, and hanged himself from a tree. He lingered for 10 days in a coma before passing on Sept. 27, 2010 in Tehachapi, CA. Asher Brown, 13 Asher Brown was an eighth grader at Hamilton Middle School outside Houston, TX when he shot himself with his stepfather's pistol on Sept. 23, 2010. He had been bullied at school - called names and physically assaulted. The day before he killed himself, he had been pushed down a flight of stairs; before he could get up on the landing below, another classmate kicked him and his books down the rest of the stairs. Despite his parents' claims that they had asked the school to intervene, the administration denies ever having received any complaints. Zach Harrington, 19 On Sept. 28, 2010, Zach Harrington attended a public hearing in his hometown of Norman, OK. The hearing was on a proposal to declare October as LGBT History Month in the town. Although the proposal passed, many community members at the hearing were vocally and vitrolically against it, and Zach's family blames some of the blatant hatred shown toward the LGBT community at this hearing for Zach's suicide one week later, as well as his treatment while he had been in school there. Zach was also a cellist. Tyler Clementi, 18 Tyler Clementi's suicide was the most prominent of the LGBT teen deaths during the rash of suicides in 2010. Tyler had been a freshman at Rutgers University, played violin with the Ridgewood Symphony Orchestra, and had been concertmaster of the Bergen Youth Orchestra. After his roommate secretly broadcast live video of Tyler with another man, Tyler jumped from the George Washington Bridge on Sept. 22, 2010. I didn't know any of these boys. Their stories came to me through the news and through LGBT blogs. Our connection is entirely through shared experience - it wasn't that long ago that I was bullied for being gay, even though I wasn't out yet (and honestly wasn't even fully aware of my sexuality). Their stories could easily have been my own but for some....strange luck? unknown strength? sheer perversity? Suicide certainly crossed my mind more than once, but never seemed the answer - it conceded defeat. So to see these boys so beaten down by their peers and by society at large that they couldn't continue to live broke my heart. I remember coming home during October 2010 and reading of yet another child who had killed himself, and shaking as I sat at my desk. Out of desolation. Out of rage. My response was to create something in the face of so much death. After Dan Savage and his husband created the It Gets Better Project, and there was such a huge outpouring of support through videos on the site created by individuals, corporations, universities, and professional sports teams, I realized that one area - filled with LGBT members and LGBT supporters - was almost completely unrepresented on the site and in public shows of support: the classical music community. As of April 2013, not one professional orchestra has made a significant gesture in support of LGBT youth. So I'm incredibly thankful to Dr. Block and the ISU Orchestra for commissioning this work. I view Only Air as the orchestral equivalent of an It Gets Better video. It certainly has for me. Only Air is in one movement: a single-text art song punctuated by five orchestral interludes, each dedicated to one of each of the boys listed above. Each interlude also makes use of a solo instrument, or highlights a particular family of instruments (solo trumpet, percussion and harp, solo clarinet, solo cello and percussion with harp, and solo violin). While the interludes are loose musical meditations on each of the boys in turn, Seth Walsh's has an added element to it: because of his reverence for nature, I've given different sections specific extramusical meaning - the strings and brass represent the earth, the woodwinds represent the sky, and the harp and percussion are life on the planet. The text I chose for the piece is Kathryn Levy's "Only Air" from her book Losing the Moon. I met Kathryn while we were in residence together at the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts in Amherst, VA in 2009. "Only Air" has three distinct "voices" in the text: it opens with a young man who will commit suicide, then shifts to a person close to the young man who both explains the circumstances of his suicide and begs him not to do it, and interwoven throughout is a sort of Greek Chorus that comments on the story and asks questions.
Instrumentation Piccolo 2 Flutes 3 Oboes 3 Clarinets in B-flat 3 Bassoons 4 Horns in F 3 Trumpets in C 3 Trombones Tuba Timpani 3 Percussions 1. Glockenspiel II. Chimes (shared), Marimba III. Chimes (shared), Vibraphone Harp Solo Soprano Solo Violin Strings
Duration: 18 minutes First performance: 25 April 2013 Michelle Vought, soprano Illinois State University Symphony Orchestra Glenn Block, conductor
ONLY AIR (2011-2013) Text by Kathryn Levy Take oh take those arms away that hurt me in the dark
and the ones who were loved almost to the end cherish that watch cherish the hour he climbed the stairs
when they aren’t there the eyes that don’t watch as I cross the street caress a leaf
–did he climb? looked down at the crowds –did he bother to look? thought to himself –was there any time to think? Now I will be only air
–it is dead already take the voice away that refuses to mutter I love when you bend to capture those leaves that can’t be caught
which is too easy no one can be only air no one can stop that figure falling much too fast–please take away your body
I almost felt you shudder this morning as I dreamed of death –diving from a roof silently the watch cracked the time is forever 3 p.m.
I can’t catch
From LOSING THE MOON by Kathryn Levy Copyright © 2006 by Kathryn Levy. Poem used by kind permission of the author.
Score in C in memory of the gay teenagers who have taken their own lives because of anti-gay bullying
Only Air for voice and orchestra q = 50
Piccolo
p
Oboe 1.2.3
p
1.
Flute 1.2
1.
p
1.
p
Clarinet in Bb 1.2.3
Bassoon 1.2.3
1.
mf
Horn in F 1–4
(2011-2013)
mp
1.
mp
mf
2.
mp
mp
p
Trumpet in Bb 1.2.3
Trombone 1.2.3
Tuba
Timpani
Chimes
Glockenspiel
Marimba
Harp
p
motor off
p
Violin II
q = 50
Violin I
Soprano
Violin Solo
Vibraphone
Piano
p
Viola
Violoncello
Double Bass
2
mf
pizz.
mf
pizz.
mf
div. arco
mp
div. arco
mp
3
4 Copyright © 2013
5
6
8
1
Picc.
ppp
Fl.
1.
2.
ppp
Ob.
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1.
1.
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p
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Take
oh
take those arms
a - way
that
hurt
3
me
in the
dark
when they aren't
Tpt.
mf
there
ppp
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unis.
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unis.
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8
9
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f
the
1
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11
12
13
9
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p
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eyes
that don't
watch
3
as
I
p
the
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15
mp
mp
3
a
leaf
19
20
21
p
p 14
p
Db.
ca - ress
p
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street
p
Vln. II
p
cross
16
17
18
2 Interlude 1: Justin Aaberg
10
Picc.
Fl.
1.
Ob.
q = 66
mp
Chim.
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3
Cl.
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3
p
fp bisbigl.
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–it is dead
al - rea - dy
2 Interlude 1: Justin Aaberg
Vln. I
Vln. II
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Db.
22
23
q = 66
p
p
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24
25
26
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27
mf
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28
29
11
Picc.
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pizz.
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33
34
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p
35
36
pizz.
p 37
38
12
3
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q = 52
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way
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re - fus - es
to mut - ter
f
I
unis.
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a -
3
3
love
3
when you
q = 52
div.
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n
40
41
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mf
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mf 43
44
bend
13
Picc.
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to
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cap - ture
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3
leaves
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f
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which can't be
caught
p
50
51
45
46
47
48
49
p
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14
4
Interlude 2: Seth Walsh
Fl.
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Picc.
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53
52
54
55
56
57
3
15
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58
3
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59
61
mf
mf
62
mp
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gli ss.
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63
64
65
16
Picc.
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3.
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p
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p
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f
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3
f
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66
67
68
69
17
Picc.
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3
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3
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2.3.
Chim.
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3
3
bisbigl.
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Vln. II
Vla.
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Db.
70
71
72
73
18
Fl.
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Cl.
1.
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2.3
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mf
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3
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mf
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19
Picc.
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p
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2.3. p
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f
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1.
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f
l.v.
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78
79
Vln. I
Vln. II
Vla.
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Db.
76
77
20
5
Picc.
1.
Fl.
1.
2.
Bsn.
pp
1.
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pp
pp
pp
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mf
f
p
p
f
6
with fingernails
al -
most
felt
f
you
3
shud - der
80
81
mp
-
-
ing
as
I
dreamed
3
of
di - ving
sfp
3
from a roof
sfp
sfp
sfp
sfp
f
f
82
3
death
f
sfp
f
mp
morn
3
this
mf
p sub.
mp
mp
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f
5
3
I
mf
mp matter of fact
Vln. I
p
S.
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f
mf
f
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f 83
84
85
21
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si
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ppp
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3
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Vln. II
Vib.
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sfp
sfp
sfp
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cracked
sfp
mf
the
time
is
for - e - ver
ppp
ppp
Vla.
Vc.
86
87
88
89
90
91
92
93
Db.
22
Picc.
p 1.
Fl.
p 1.
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2. p
1.
Cl.
p
Chim.
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Hn.
Tpt.
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ff
ff
let ring
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ff
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ord.
mf
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mp
three
Vln. I
Vln. II
Vla.
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Db.
p.
m.
94
95
sfp
sfp
sfp
sfp
sfp
sfp
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sfp
sfp
sfp
sfp
sfp
n
sfp
sfp
sfp
n
sfp
sfp
sfp
sfp
96
97
98
6
Picc.
23
Interlude 3: Asher Brown q = 112
Fl.
Ob.
Cl.
solo
n
f
mp
mf
p
mf
Bsn.
Hn.
Tpt.
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Tba.
Timp.
Chim.
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mf
Vib.
mf
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Interlude 3: Asher Brown
6
q = 112
Vln. I
Vln. II
sfp
sfp
Db.
n
Vc.
p
n
Vla.
p
n
n
99
100
101
102
103
104
pizz.
pizz.
pizz.
p
pizz.
p
pizz.
p 105
106
107
24
Fl.
Ob.
Cl.
Picc.
f
Tpt.
Tbn.
Chim.
Glock.
Bsn.
Hn.
Tba.
Timp.
Mar.
Vib.
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mp
mf
mp
mp
Db.
mp 108
mf
mp
Vc.
mf
Vln. I
Vla.
S.
Vln. II
109
110
mf
112
113
114
111
25
Fl.
Ob.
Cl.
Picc.
mp
f
p
mf
Bsn.
Hn.
Tpt.
Tbn.
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1.
2.3 ff sub.
ff sub.
ff sub.
mf
ff
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mp
ff
Chim.
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Mar.
p
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p
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116
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118
119
120
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p
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p
arco
pizz.
ff sub.
p
121
122
123
26
Picc.
pp
Fl.
q = 96
pp 1.
Ob.
Cl.
2.3
1.2.3
solo
mp
1.2.3
pp
pp
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pp
f
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ff
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p
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pp
p
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q = 96
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Vln. II
Vla.
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Db.
arco
ppp
arco
ppp
arco
n
mf
mf
125
126
127
128
mp
n
arco
mf
124
arco
n
129
n
n
n
mp
130
n
mp
n
131
132
27
7
Picc.
Fl.
Ob.
Cl.
q = 52
mf
mf
mf
mf
Bsn.
mf
mp
Hn.
Tpt.
Tbn.
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mp
1.2.
3.
mp
mp
mp
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mf
mf
mf
Chim.
Glock.
Timp.
Mar.
p
S.
mp
q = 52
ones
f
loved
mp
3
who were
and the
7
Vln. I
al
-
most to
mf
Vla.
Vc.
Db.
mp
3
che - rish that
133
134
f
136
mf
che rish
sfp
sfp
sfp
sfp
3
the hour
he climed the stairs
sfp
sfp
sfp
n
sfp
sfp
n
sfp
sfp
n
sfp
sfp
138
139
140
141
142
mp
mp
watch
sfp
mp
135
mp
f
the end
mp
Vln. II
f
Vib.
Hp.
f
137
28
8
Picc.
Interlude 4: Zack Harrington
Fl.
Ob.
Cl.
Chim.
Glock.
Vib.
Bsn.
Hn.
Tpt.
Tbn.
Tba.
Timp.
Mar.
Vla.
3
solo
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
pp
pp
pp
tutti
Interlude 4: Zack Harrington
p
p
Db.
Vc.
3
pp
S.
Vln. II
8
3
pp
Vln. I
pp
Hp.
solo
pp
3
pp 150
151
152
29
Fl.
Ob.
Cl.
Picc.
Bsn.
Hn.
Tpt.
Tbn.
Tba.
Timp.
Chim.
Glock.
Mar.
mf
p
ff
f
mp
Vib.
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ff
ff
f
mp
f
mf
mp
S.
Vln. II
Vla.
Vln. I
Vc.
Db.
153
154
3
mf
155
156
157
3
f sub.
158
mp
159
160
161
162
30
Fl.
Ob.
Cl.
Picc.
Bsn.
pp
Hn.
pp
Tpt.
Tbn.
Chim.
Glock.
pp
Tba.
Timp.
Mar.
pp
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pp
ff
ff
p
ff
pp
pp
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pp
S.
Vln. I
p
p
pp
Vla.
pp
mf
Vc.
pp
Db.
164
165
166
167
3
pp 163
168
169
170
31
9
Fl.
Ob.
Cl.
Picc.
Bsn.
Hn.
Tpt.
Tbn.
Tba.
Timp.
Chim.
Glock.
Mar.
mf
pp
1.2.
3. pp
pp
pp
mf
mf
mf
mf
Vib.
Hp.
pp
S.
–did
he
climb?
3
looked down
p 3
at the crowds
–did he
3
bo-ther to
look?
mp
thought to him- self
3
–was there a - ny
time
to think?
9
Vln. II
Vla.
Vc.
171
172
173
174
175
176
177
Vln. I
Db.
178
32
Picc.
mf
Fl.
mf
Ob.
f
f
Bsn.
1.2.
mf
f
mf
Cl.
mf
mf
f
f
1.2.
mf
f
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Chim.
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Vib.
Tpt.
Tbn.
Tba.
Timp.
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Hp.
S.
3
Now
I
f
f
f
f
be
will
3
on
-
ly
air
Vln. II
Vla.
Vc.
Vln. I
Db.
179
180
181
182
183
33 rit.
10 Interlude 5: Tyler Clementi
Picc.
Bsn.
mf
Cl.
1.2.
Ob.
Fl.
1.2.
mf
p
p
p
p
Tpt.
Tbn.
Chim.
Glock.
Vib.
Hn.
Tba.
Timp.
Mar.
Hp.
S.
mf warm
10 Interlude 5: Tyler Clementi
Solo Vln.
mf
rit.
mf
p
Vln. I
Vln. II
Vla.
Vc.
Db.
184
185
186
187
188
189
190
191
34 q = 82
Picc.
q = 70
q = 52
pp
rit.
mp
Fl.
q = 70
1.
Tpt.
Tbn.
p
p
p
pp
1.
2.3.
p
p
1.
Bsn.
p
pp
Cl.
p
p
pp
Ob.
q. = 52
2.3. p
Hn.
Tba.
Timp.
Chim.
Glock.
Mar.
pp
q = 70
p
q = 52
q = 70
p
mf
192
193
195
p
197
198
p
196
p
p
p
p 194
mf
p
q. = 52
rit.
p
Db.
p
Vc.
Vla.
mp
q = 82
Vln. II
Vln. I
pp
S.
Solo Vln.
mp
Vib.
Hp.
199
35
Picc.
rit.
Fl.
A tempo (q. = 52)
pp
pp
Ob.
pp
Cl.
pp
Tpt.
Tbn.
Bsn.
1.
2.3. pp
Hn.
Tba.
Timp.
Chim.
Glock.
Mar.
mf
Db.
Solo Vln.
Vc.
S.
Vla.
Vln. II
Vln. I
Vib.
Hp.
200
201
202
A tempo (q. = 52)
rit.
p
203
204
205
206
36 q. = 66
q. = 104
Picc.
Fl.
pp 1.
2.
pp
Cl.
p
Ob.
pp
pp
p
1.
Tpt.
Tbn.
Bsn.
mf
Hn.
Tba.
Timp.
Chim.
Glock.
Mar.
f
Vib.
Hp.
f
p
S.
q. = 66
Solo Vln.
pizz. arco
sfz
q. = 104 pizz.
pizz.
Vln. I
f
f
Vla.
Vc.
f
f
pizz
sffz
212
213
208
arco
209
210
211
f
214
f
f
mf 207
ff
sffz
mf
Db.
sffz
pizz.
arco
sffz
arco
pizz.
Vln. II
215
37 q. = 152
Fl.
Ob.
Cl.
Picc.
1.
2.
1.
2.
1.
2.
1.
2.
f
Bsn.
2. 1.3.
f
Tpt.
Tbn.
Hn.
Tba.
Timp.
Mar.
Vib.
Hp.
S.
Solo Vln.
arco
Vln. I
f
Vln. II
arco
q. = 152
f
Chim.
Glock.
mp
f
Vla.
Vc.
Db.
216
217
218
219
220
221
38
Fl.
Ob.
Picc.
1.
Cl.
Bsn.
2.
1.
2.
1.
2.
1.
2.
1.
2.
1.
2.
Hn.
Tpt.
Tbn.
Tba.
Timp.
Glock.
Vib.
S.
Hp.
Solo Vln.
Vln. I
Vln. II
Vla.
Vc.
Db.
Chim.
Mar.
222
223
224
225
226
227
39
Picc.
1.
Fl.
f
1.
Ob.
1.
2.
Bsn.
2.
f
1.
Cl.
f
1.
f
Hn.
Tpt.
f
Tbn.
Tba.
Timp.
Chim.
Glock.
Vib.
S.
Mar.
Hp.
Solo Vln.
Vln. I
Vln. II
Vc.
Vla.
Db.
228
230
229
231
232
233
40 q. = 132
Picc.
Fl.
Ob.
Cl.
Bsn.
pp
1.
2. pp
q. = 152
rit.
Chim.
Glock.
Vib.
S.
Hn.
Tpt.
Tbn.
Tba.
Timp.
Mar.
Hp.
Solo Vln.
q. = 152
q. = 132
pp
rit.
Vln. I
Vln. II
Vla.
Vc.
mf
Db.
mf
234
235
236
237
238
239
240
241
242
41
Picc.
q = 66
Fl.
f
pp
Cl.
ff
f
1. 2.
ff
Bsn.
f
ff
pp
Ob.
f
1.
2. f
q. = 52
p
1.2
mp
p
mp
p
mp
p
1.2.
3.
p 1.
mf
mp
Chim.
Glock.
Vib.
Hn.
3
S.
Tpt.
Tbn.
Tba.
Timp.
Mar.
Hp.
Solo Vln.
Vln. I
Vln. II
Vla.
p
Vc.
q = 66
ff
f
243
244
245
div.
mp
mp
p 246
mp
p
mp
p
p
q. = 52
mf
p
p
Db.
p
mp 247
248
249
42
Picc.
Ob.
Cl.
Bsn.
mp
Fl.
Hn.
Tpt.
Tbn.
Tba.
Timp.
Chim.
Glock.
Mar.
mp
Vib.
mp
S.
Hp.
Solo Vln.
Vln. I
Vln. II
Vla.
Vc.
Db.
250
251
252
43
Picc.
Fl.
Ob.
Cl.
Bsn.
n
1.
mf
2.3.
n
mf
pp
pp
pp
n
pp
pp
Chim.
Glock.
Vib.
Hn.
Tpt.
Tbn.
Tba.
Timp.
Mar.
S.
Hp.
Solo Vln.
Vln. I
Vln. II
Vc.
253
Vla.
Db.
pp
n
n
n
n
254
255
256
44
11 q = 50
Picc.
Fl.
Ob.
Cl.
mf
2.
1.
pp
mf
pp
mf
pp
1.
mf
mp
pp
mp
pp
1.
2.
pp
mp
pp
mp
pp
Tpt.
Tbn.
Chim.
Glock.
Vib.
Bsn.
Hn.
Tba.
Timp.
Mar.
Hp.
S.
mf
ff
mp
ff
ff
mp
which
is
too
ea - sy
3
no one
can
f
be
on
ly
air
3
-
11 q = 50
Vln. I
(div)
mf
Vln. II
pp
div.
mf
pp
unis.
mp
pp
mp
sfp
unis.
sfp
pp
sfp
sfp
sfp
sfp
Vla.
Vc.
260
261
Db.
257
258
259
262
263
264
45
Picc.
Fl.
Ob.
Cl.
Bsn.
ff
ff
ff
ff
Timp.
mf
mf
Chim.
ff
ff
ff
ff
ppp
ff
f
1.
mf
Tba.
mf
Hn.
Tbn.
ff
Tpt.
Glock.
Vib.
Mar.
Hp.
no
Vln. I
3
one
can
stop
that
fi - gure
mf
much
3
too
fast
f
mf 265
f
266
ff
ff
ff
f
please
f
mf
Db.
f
mf
fall - ing
Vc.
mf
Vla.
Vln. II
fff
mf
S.
ppp
ff
267
ff
268
269
270
46
Tpt.
Tbn.
Picc.
Fl.
Ob.
pp
1.
pp
1.
pp
n
n
Chim.
Glock.
Vib.
Cl.
Bsn.
n
1.
pp
n
n
Hn.
Tba.
Timp.
Mar.
Hp.
p
S.
take
a - way
Vln. I
Vln. II
Vla.
Vc.
Db.
your
bo - dy
I
can't
pp
catch
pp
pp
n
275
276
n
n
17'34"
271
272
273
274
Additional vocal works by Dennis Tobenski
Drinking Alone with the Moon (2003) song for soprano and vibraphone text: Li Po
And He'll Be Mine (2005) song cycle for tenor and piano texts: Robert Burns
It's all I have to bring to-day (2007) song for voice and piano text: Emily Dickinson
till night is overgone (2007) song cycle for tenor and piano texts: James Joyce
Sweet Briar Songs (2007) song set for soprano or tenor and piano texts: Patricia Valdata
Starfish at Pescadero (2007) song cycle for soprano, viola, harp, and percussion texts: Idris Anderson
echoes (2008) song cycle for high voice and piano texts: Mark Statman
at least a moment (2009) song cycle for high voice and harp (or piano) texts: Kenneth Koch
To a Western Boy (2009) song for voice and piano text: Walt Whitman
meditation (2011) song for solo voice text: Mark Statman
Without a Philosophy (2013) song for high voice, violin, and harp texts: Elizabeth Seydel Morgan
All works are available digitally at http://newmusicshelf.com/dennistobenski. For print copies, send inquiries to dennis@dennistobenski.com