What’s your vision looking like this year?

How would you describe your entry to the decade and view for your future? My hope is it’s bright for you and your family. That your days are filled with feelings and experiences that make your heart come alive and your soul sing. Where peace and enthusiasm co-exist and an excitement for what’s to come palpitates through your body. This is my hope, but not my expectation. Time and experience remind me this wishful thinking is a vision tinted by rose-coloured glasses. I know mothers will cry and worries will rest heavy on their chests. This it seems, is an unwritten mandate after the arrival of one’s first born.

Yes, life’s going to bring challenges. This is a certain. Other challenges that have the potential to bring us to our knees however is not restricted to natural disasters, diagnosis or loss. But it’s a force so strong, it thwarts our happiness and success EVERY. DAY. The primary influence of our feelings of sadness, disappointment and guilt reside in the immensely high expectations we hold of ourselves, standards we’d never reserve for a friend. ‘Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re doing an amazing job. You need to rest’ we’re likely to offer our dearest, but to ourselves? Oh no – this narrative would be much harsher. Cursing which depicts our inability, lack of discipline, ineptness and plain hopelessness meander through our minds, day after day, back and forward they go, swirling unconsciously until we conclude we mothers must be causing irreparable harm to our children. And the feelings of disappointment get stronger.

Have standards higher enough to inspire your growth, but low enough to encourage your commitment. BY CATHERINE SCHASSER

I’m certain you have standards for yourself as a mother. Expectations of yourself you believe will best serve your children. I do too. Recently I failed to meet the ideal I hold for myself and wish to share the wise words I received via my friend’s response. In case your humanness comes to the fore and you feel you’re not living up to who you want to be for your children, I hope you can remember her viewpoint.

While recounting an interaction in which I believe I didn’t respond as my best self, I described it as feeling like an addict who fell off the wagon after 5 years off sobriety with my ‘sobriety’ being calm and non-reactivity in the face of triggers. My friend did just as Brene Brown would encourage – she doused my potentialsitting-on-the-ledge shame with empathy and understanding. Part of her loving message read, ‘everyone has times they feel like they’ve fallen off the wagon…or are running alongside the wagon trying to get back on!’ Conjuring an image of me hobbling alongside a moving and rickety wagon, reaching my arms in one last and desperate attempt to hold on, put a turn in the corners of my mouth and left me feeling lighter in my heart. I messaged back with a wagon and running girl emoji

before beginning my ‘work’ to consciously progress through the oh-so-familiar self-talk of mum-guilt. I needed to return my focus to where I wanted it to reside; in love and gratitude for my family and friends and to acknowledge my reflection and new actions from this moment on were what would matter. A practice I was oh so familiar with. You see, our focus has a significant impact on our thoughts, beliefs, feelings and actions. For me to remain feeling bad, guilty or upset would mean my focus was on me. ‘I feel bad for reacting.’ ‘I wish I hadn’t done that.’ My ultimate goal is to balance personal reflection with outward focus on others, not to remain centred on myself.

“If we can share our story of shame with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive” Brene Brown

When you next fall off your wagon of self-imposed expectations (not yelling, saying no to sugar, no-aimless scrolling – the list continues), strap on those shoes and get running girl! This human adventure of motherhood is going to provide you plenty of bumps and bruises along the way. Promise you’ll hoist yourself up, practice empathy and understanding and envision a future blended perfectly between personal growth and personal kindness.

Remember, you’re the holder of the torch. You have in your reach the power to illuminate and focus on the future you want to see in 2020.

Enjoy, Catherine

Catherine is the co-founder of Developing Dreams, a local company 'empowering children one adult at a time'. This vision is achieved through the educational curriculum at Developing Dreams Early Learning Centre named 2019 Best Small, Private, Regional Centre in NSW, and through coaching programs written and facilitated by Catherine. Email catherine@developingdreams.com.au for further information or to find out how you can be EMPOWERED in your life.

Circus Oz are one of Australia’s iconic performance groups, and if you’ve never seen them live before then you’ll want to tick this one off the bucket list! Their latest creation Aurora is playing at The Art House in April, and it stays true to their unique brand of quirky and energetic circus stunts. The show combines hair-raising acrobatics, physical comedy, and live rock’n’roll music in a perfect balance to keep allages entertained. In the winter wonderland world of Aurora, you’ll meet a cast of arctic characters for 70-minutes of high-energy, non-stop entertainment. Kids will love the adorable antics of a troupe of silly penguins as they ice-slide and fly high through the air on trapeze. Our main character Polar Bear sings, foot-juggles and scales the ice several metres high in a hair-raising climb, while an acrobat head-balances precariously upside down, suspended over an ominous vat of toxic waste. Throw in a vivid hula-hoop routine, rocking live music, and impressive rope climbing, and you’ve got a playful visual extravaganza not to forget. For parents, Aurora is a show you can happily take the kids to while you enjoy the tongue-in cheek humour and outstanding abilities of the performers.

As with most Circus Oz shows, it’s not just about the tricks and stunts but also to convey a message of humanity. Beneath the loveable artic characters of Aurora is a story of hope for the environment. As climate change awareness takes centre stage socially, it’s perfectly timed for this show to literally take to the stage with its fun, light-hearted celebration of beauty in the arctic.

It’s been almost three years since Circus Oz performed at The Art House, selling-out over the venues high spirited first birthday weekend. Once again, they’ll play two shows over the weekend so don’t wait to book your tickets! The Art House presents Aurora By Circus Oz DATES: Saturday 4th April 8PM Sunday 5th April 3PM School show Monday 6th April 11AM Tickets: Adult $49, Concession $42, Under 30 $35, Child $25, Group 10+ $40 From www.thearthousewyong.com.au Phone: 02 4335 1485 “Everyone will leave Aurora with a huge smile on their face” – What Did She Think ***** “Aurora is solid, kid-friendly holiday entertainment.”– MeeToo “extraordinary acts… with audible gasps from the audience” –Theatre Press

BOOK NOW 02 4335 1485 www.thearthousewyong.com.au