You're the tops - North Coast Hinterland Road trip by Dorian Mode and Lydia Thorpe

As we turn off the Pacific Highway to Buckets Way, the first town you’ll find is historic, Stroud – about 25 minutes from the Pacific Highway. Colonial Stroud was founded by the Australian Agricultural Company (AACO). Incorporated in London in 1824, the AACO saw the first major influx of private capital into Australia. This agricultural heritage is made manifest at Silo Hill, just off the edge of the main drag. It was so named after the eight subterranean bottle–shaped brick–lined silos built by convict labour for the AACO. Here you’ll find Crimean War cannons shipped to Sydney in 1855 for the defence of the harbour for fear of the Russians. These days it’s Russian hackers we fear. So this was our nineteenth century “firewall”. Like a lot of country towns in NSW, they have a beaut historic walk. It’s self–contained, senior–friendly and all within a lazy stroll of the main town. Psst! Most shops have a free map.

Post vintage walk, we lunch at Billy T Cafe. Operating as a Cafe for over 100 years, it’s housed in a battleship–grey weatherboard cottage on the main strip. The menu is cross–cultural with a specials board that changes daily due to local and seasonal availability. We enjoy eggplant and artichoke quesadillas with heart–thumping coffees. Sitting under Billy’s shady veranda, we spy numerous retirees walking the street holding hands. We are unsure if this is ‘enduring love’ or ‘ambulatory stability’. We can relate: my bad back. My wife’s bad hip.

Onward to Gloucester (which I can never spell). 40mins from Stroud. At the local tourism centre, we meet the affable Barney. She’s a font of information and I’m reminded how prudent it is to drop into these centres when visiting any country town lucky enough to have a tourist centre. Barney supplies visitors with excellent maps and insider tips. But who needs maps with GPS, right? Wrong. There’s no signal up in the Tops, folks. Psst! Another tip is to pack a thermos and a couple of sangas as there’s no cafe up there, either. But some public loos. Nonetheless, at the Tops, I’m completely lost as usual. I’m eventually directed to my destination by a cheery cattle farmer in an oversized Stetson.

At the summit you’ll find excellent senior–friendly walks. We choose the Antarctic Beech Forest Walk. This short loop is a lazy 20mins. We then head back into town to find a Gloucester treasure: Gloucester Charity Book Shop. It’s located in an erstwhile scout hall at the beginning of town and run by cheery senior volunteers. Here you’ll find a neatly curated used bookshop at op–shop prices. We leave paper treasures for less than $20.

Dinner that evening is at the Roundabout Inn at the end of town. In the pub’s leafy beer garden, we enjoy melt–in–your–mouth steaks; all sourced from the local butcher in Wingham and wet–aged for 6–8 weeks. At the flanking table, we spy local junior rodeo boys and gals. Perhaps one of them rode my steak, I wonder.

Our billet that evening is the Ridge Eco–Cabin. Set high amongst the eucalypt–scented gum trees, it has breathtaking 180–degree views of the Barrington and Gloucester River Valleys. Here we have a self–contained one bedroom boutique cabin with touches of rustic luxury. We love the ponderous cows feigning to eat long grass but slyly checking out the cabin’s new guests. Moreover, this bucolic setting is only a lazy 5mins from town. Combine this with the sweeping views and tranquillity, the Ridge Eco–Cabin ($385) is excellent.

Post breakkie we wing it to Wingham (54 min via Bucketts Way). First settled by plucky dairy farmers and timber fellers in the mid–1800s, it is the oldest town on the Barrington Coast. And while perched on the banks of the curling Manning River, it has a pretty town square, ringed by National Trust–listed Federation buildings. Here we find an excellent museum. Like a lot of country museums struggling with rising power bills, it’s under–lit. So being over fifty, we are cross–eyed trying to read the information. But, hey, at only five bucks, it gives you a good insight into the pioneering history of the area. I love these country museums, don’t you?

Just down the road from the museum is Wingham Brush Boardwalk. This place stinks. Literally. This magical pocket of rainforest and its senior–friendly walking tracks, house a world of tropical plants, birds and a chattering cauldron of smelly bats. I’m not sure what the collective noun for bats is: A Riddler of bats? But when the gang is spooked and take flight, it’s like standing under a Boeing Airbus. It just about blew my hat off. But you’ll love it. And it’s freeee! As we exit, a sign warns of ‘stinging trees’. Not seen that before. At that moment, a lobster–tanned English tourist enters, reads the sign and says, “Gawd, even the bleedin’ trees sting you in this country.”

Our digs that evening is Mansfield on the Manning. Set on sixteen tranquil acres, this Hamptons–style boutique rural retreat is perched high on the banks of the winding Manning River. With its boho chic interior and bespoke fixtures, the accom offers a hip getaway in an idyllic setting. Here we enjoy the soundtrack of river birds in the sagging afternoon light. They also have kayaks for a twilight paddle. But we are not in our twenties. So we sensibly down G&Ts on the veranda, instead. Anyway, it’s good value for your travel dollar ($245).

The following morning, we head up to Elands, a leafy village high on the Bulga Plateau where you’ll find majestic Ellenborough Falls: the state’s tallest single–drop waterfall at 200 metres. But to get there our GPS sends us via Bugla Rd, through the charming villages of Marlee and Bobbin. The final leg finds us on a single–lane gravel road, snaking around the escarpment. With nowhere to pull over, I fail to see how this road is legal. If a logging truck tears around one of the numerous hairpin bends before you reach the summit you’d be in trouble. Tip: do take a pair of pliers with you to extract your fingernails from the steering wheel.

At Elands we see a sign which reads: Breath In, Breath Love, Breathe Out. Apt, we think. Here we find the picturesque Ellenborough Falls. Sure, it’s pretty but consider Googling it. We then follow the teeth–jarring Comboyne Rd (another nervy gravel road, reader) to Comboyne. We then find the mercifully sealed Oxley Highway (remember sealed roads?) for our descent from Mount Seaview into Wauchope (another word I can never spell).

We make the coast at last. Our final accommodation is NRMA Port Macquarie Breakwall Holiday Park. This is the ideal place to decompress after the long drive from the hinterland to the coast. Our waterfront cabin is excellent. Prices range from $200 to $381 a night in the Bayside Cabin. Staying in a waterfront deluxe cabin in a holiday park is a bit like flying Premium Economy: sure, you’re in a holiday park but you feel slightly superior to the dad of five in the tent out front. Anyway, the park is charming and all framed by wind–tickled Norfolk Island Pines and kowtowing casuarinas subjugated by ocean breezes.

Perhaps the best feature of the park is the location: you’re on the break wall but right in town so it’s a senior–friendly amble to restaurants. But we’re spent. So we enjoy drinks at the Little Shack: a groovy tikki–style bar at the holiday park. From the end of a frozen margarita, we watch trawlers chugging back from a hard day on the nets and consider seafood for dinner.

FactBox#1

You can drive to Barrington, Gloucester or Copeland Tops but there will be some small rivers to ford. Fear not! These are simple concrete causeways with an inch of water over them when not in flood. You don’t need a four–wheel drive. Your average sedan will be fine. But do check with the local tourism info centre to check if they are in flood.

In the Tops, you’ll find the Dilgry Circle. Great trout fishing here. However, if you’d like to see a pecker in the woods, find C*ck Rock. Yep, that’s what the locals call it. It even featured on an episode of The Leyland Brothers. Standing at around ten metres high, it may recall the launch of Jeff Bezos’ rocket.

Did you know The Tops was once the haunt of notorious bushranger Captain Thunderbolt (Fred Ward) who hid from authorities in the Buccan Buccans in the mid–1860s?

Wingham is home to a giant abattoir so don’t choose seafood. Consider a BBQ dinner.

Many ships were wrecked up and down the lower Mid–North Coast before the Tacking Point lighthouse was built south of Port Macquarie in 1879. So within walking distance from the NRMA Holiday Park is the fabulous Port Mac Maritime Museum. Worth a squiz.