Coffee with a Coastie - Luke Grant - Personal Coach and proud Wiradjuri man

Welcome to Coffee with a Coastie. I had the pleasure of sitting down and chatting with Luke Grant, personal coach and proud Wiradjuri man, about mental health, exercise, and his own journey. We talk about the positive impact he sees physical health playing in the role of someone’s mental health. As he strives to help men over 30 regain control of their health, so they can live a life of purpose.

I feel a big part of why we do what we do, is due to the events throughout our life’s journey. Can you share some of your story from growing up in Kyogle, to losing your father at 9 and how this has shaped you to become the person you are today?

Kyogle was a little town I grew up in, that was only two or three thousand people and that included the outskirts. My father was a professional footballer and back then they didn’t go overseas when they retired. So, when my dad finished up in 86 or 87 we moved to Kyogle. I was born in 85, so I was only one or two when we moved. He took on the role of captain coach for the local team. But he was more than that, he was a solid community man, bringing the community together. Always picking people up for training and being involved with all the local raffles and stuff.

So losing my father at nine was huge. I know other people are in harder situations than me, but my dad was a very important part of my life. I remember always being with him and emulating him. I always wanted to hang out with him. With Dad being a professional rugby league player, all I ever wanted to do was play rugby league because of him. Watching him do what he did for the community shaped and programmed me to be like that. I am who I am today because of him. I think there’s science behind being shaped as a child subconsciously from zero to nine.

On an Instagram post you write, It’s 5:40am at Shelly Beach, you were checking the surf, and you’re approached by a First Nations man, who you engage in a conversation with. You showed him empathy towards his struggles and asked him if he had a plan to kill himself and he says he does. You then go on to say, how approaching these situations was taught to you in mental health training. Can you share how to approach someone you feel is not ok?

You know life’s sometimes all about timing. This guy obviously for some reason was meant to be introduced to me that morning. When he approached me, I felt like there was something not right. I had already done a fair bit of suicide prevention work with Yerin and when I

think back it just come out so naturally, I said something like; hey man, are you planning on hurting yourself or going to kill yourself, and he admitted he was. I don’t know how he was going to do it, but he said he was planning to go do it right now.

It’s very confronting and very hard to do, but probably the most powerful thing you can do. Just always show empathy and you have to stay with them until they get help, like an ambulance or a family member or something. You can’t try to talk them out of it, don’t try to give advice and don’t try and be the expert. Just be the listener.

You created Waluwin, a free 6–week movement for mental health program for First Nations people. Can you share more about this?

After running a 12 week online program called Yerin Fit when I was working with Yerin, I wanted to create something online that included the movement side of things, along with other things like connection to country, connection to family and mindfulness practices. Having an aspect on overall health and wellbeing all in one place that people can do online. And at the time I was training James, another indigenous man who knows all that space and runs an IT recruiting company up in Newcastle. We just brainstormed a few different ideas and created it. It took a while but the program itself goes for six weeks and every day you’ll get a text message in the morning with a link that you press on. It’s structured Monday to Sunday where you’ll do movement one day and mindfulness another. The idea of it is to be a better human and I feel like it’ll do that for you. Sometimes it’ll just be a quick little check in or a prompt for you to reach out to family. We’ve had feedback where family members haven’t spoken in two years, and they’ve now reconnected.

You’ve also created a men’s fitness group targeted at men over 30. Can you share what this group is all about and the impact it is having?

I created Waluwin and the men’s group all on the basis of some of the stuff that I’ve gone through over the last few years. I’ve lost two close cousins to suicide. And those two deaths are really the main reason I started the men’s group. On the basis of trying to help men through the trauma that I have experienced with those two deaths, which really rocked me. The men’s group started as a little sidekick and now it’s going strong. It’s turned into something a lot more than a sidekick. It’s so rewarding watching the men change. When I get them at the early stages and they either haven’t been in the gym for a very long time, or just starting out, and you get to see their aura change over time.

It’s so rewarding for me. It is my job, but I don’t call it a job because, it’s so rewarding to see them change. Then you see their wives at the school drop offs and they’re saying hi to you even more so, because their husband’s happier and more present. The training’s great, but that stuff and the text messages of gratitude I get, is where it’s at for me.

I’ve personally reached out for support and feel so much better for it, though it took me many years and to be honest, the exposure to the amazing people I’ve had the privilege of sitting down and chatting with, like yourself, that has made me feel it is ok to seek help without feeling wrong about it in some way. What more do you feel can be done to help normalize men seeking support?

That’s a big question. We’ve got more suicide deaths in men than we’ve ever had, yet I feel we’ve got the most amount ever of psychologists and psychiatrists, it’s crazy. Creating the confidence to be able to ask for help yourself does come from within, but it’s also about creating the space for it as well. I don’t believe there’s enough space out there for men to open up and to be able to help themselves in that way. I’ve got my thing, where I use movement, breathing, ice baths and all that stuff to help men. But another huge thing that I can never ever do enough of, but it’s just really hard to coordinate everybody, is to go away overnight. We did a night out in the stars and it was so powerful. I’ve done it a couple of times now, it’s part of our men’s group program. Though like I said, it’s hard to get everybody together as everyone’s got commitments. But when we do there’s some stuff out there that happens that potentially could save lives or if not make the person better for a very long time. Opening up in front of men in a non–judgemental environment, out in the open, around a fire, nothing better really. Yet you don’t need a group like mine to be able to do that. Have the confidence to go to your mates and say, let’s go have a camping trip, let’s go talk about our s%^t. That needs to be normalized, and for that to be normalized, there needs to be more things like my men’s group and The Shaka Project. There needs to be heaps more.

Is there anything you wish more people understood about the connection between physical fitness and mental wellbeing?

I can only really talk from the physical side to the mental side. I’m not a yogi or a guru in any other space. For me when I see people getting stronger in the gym, it leads into their life on the mental side of things. They’re very much connected. I believe if you’re physically well, you’re mentally well. I’ve seen it time and time again, from when I owned my gym, to training over 2,000 people, what I’ve always noticed is if somebody is getting stronger in the gym whether it be on the bench press or running or wherever it be. If they can see results, they mentally get stronger and make better food choices and become more present for their family. They start having better conversations and opening up more. I see the confidence exuberate from them, all from becoming stronger and fitter.

So my advice is don’t start Monday, start today. If you’ve been putting something off, do it right now, there’s no better time. All we have is right now. We can think about the past and the future, and plan and reflect, but right now, it’s all you can control. It’s the most important part.

Should you or someone you know need support, please call:

Beyond Blue – 1300 22 4636
Mens Line Australia – 1300 78 99 78
13 YARN – 13 92 76

You can also find support services online at www.ruok.org.au/findhelp

I want to thank Luke for the impact he is having on the community. If you would like to find out more about Waluwin, go to waluwin.com.au or you can see what Luke is up to with the men’s group on Instagram –@luke.grant.coach or reach out to Luke email –luke@waluwin.com.au or mobile 0414 615 853