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No.4387

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N A FREEZING NORWEGIAN NIGHT IN DECEMBER O 1942, A GROUP OF MEN HAD DEVISED A NOVEL WAY TO KEEP WARM — BY STOKING A FOUNDRY FURNACE WITH BUNDLES OF BANKNOTES...

MILLIONS OF POUNDS WORTH OF THEM.

I CAN’T DO IT! I CAN’T GO ON BURNING MONEY LIKE THIS! IT...IT’S HORRIBLE!

BELT UP AND KEEP SHOVELLING IT IN!

I...I FINK SOMEONE’S COMIN’!

STORY ALAN HEBDEN ART BENET COVER BENET

4 PRIVATE “JELLY” JAKES ALWAYS FEARED THE WORST.

DEF...

DEFINITELY SOMEONE COMIN’!

KEEP BURNING THE MONEY!

THE LITTLE MAN’S FEARS, AS SO OFTEN IN THE PAST, WERE CRUELLY REALISED AS A SQUAD OF HEAVILY-ARMED NAZI TROOPS BURST ON TO THE METAL WALKWAY ABOVE HIS HEAD. AN OFFICER WAS BARKING ORDERS INTENDED TO SEAL THE FATE OF THE FOUR ARSONISTS.

KILL THEM ALL!

WE’RE GOIN’ TO DIE, AN’ IT’S ALL SMILER’S FAULT!

5

IN SOME WAYS JELLY WAS QUITE CORRECT. A FEW WEEKS EARLIER HE HAD RUSHED TO FETCH MAJOR GUY TENBY, THE SECRET AGENT IN CHARGE OF THE “CONVICT COMMANDOS” — THREE MILITARY PRISONERS RELEASED TO WORK WITH HIM — FOR WHAT WAS BECOMING AN INCREASINGLY COMMON REASON.

COME QUICK! TITCH AN’ SMILER ARE ‘AVIN’ ANOTHER SET TO!

NOT AGAIN!

IT WAS NO SECRET THAT THE OTHER TWO MEMBERS OF THE TEAM, CORPORAL “SMILER” DAWSON AND PRIVATE “TITCH” MOONEY, DIDN’T EXACTLY SEE EYE TO EYE. THEIR FREQUENT DISAGREEMENTS OFTEN LED TO OPEN WARFARE. I’M GOING TO CRUSH YOU, SMILER! LET’S SEE YOU TRY WITH MY BLADE IN YOUR GUT!

FOR PITY’S SAKE!

6 THE TWO FIGHTERS DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE GUY WAS THERE, AT LEAST NOT UNTIL HE FIRED HIS REVOLVER IN THE AIR. WHAT?

HUH?

THAT WILL DO! I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR SPATS. THIS IS A FINAL WARNING. START GETTING ON TOGETHER OR YOU’LL BOTH GO BACK TO PRISON TO COMPLETE YOUR SENTENCES!

AFTER TWO MISSIONS TOGETHER, THEY KNEW GUY WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT IT WAS NO IDLE THREAT. AFTER HE’D GONE, AN UNEASY CALM DESCENDED AND SMILER — THE TEAM’S KNIFEMAN — PULLED OUT A PACK OF CARDS. WHAT ABOUT A FEW HANDS, TITCH? THREE-CARD BRAG FOR PENNY STAKES.

HUH, YOU’D BE BETTER OFF WALKIN’ INTO A LION’S DEN THAN PLAYIN’ CARDS WIV THAT SHARP. IT WOULD BE THE LION WHO WOULD HAVE TO LOOK OUT. BESIDES, EVEN SMILER ISN’T GOING TO BOTHER TO CHEAT FOR PENNY STAKES. YOU MAY DEAL.

7 IN A REMARKABLY SHORT TIME TITCH — THE TEAM’S STRONGMAN — FOUND HIMSELF LOSING, AND THE PENNIES MOUNTING AT AN ALARMING RATE. LET’S SEE, I MAKE THAT TEN BOB YOU OWE ME.

TITCH GRUDGINGLY HANDED OVER A TEN-SHILLING NOTE. AS SMILER TOOK IT, THEIR NEWLY-FORMED COMRADESHIP UNRAVELLED. ARE YOU TRYING TO PALM ME OFF WITH FUNNY MONEY!

TEN SHILLINGS? BAH, WHY IS IT YOU HAVE ALL THE LUCK?

YOU MEAN FORGED MONEY? APOLOGISE IMMEDIATELY!

GUY RETURNED IN TIME TO PREVENT ANOTHER FIGHT. LEARNING WHAT THE CAUSE WAS HE EXAMINED THE TEN-SHILLING NOTE FOR HIMSELF. WELL, I CAN’T SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT.

HEAR THAT, SMILER!

IT LOOKS GOOD, I AGREE, BUT I HAPPEN TO KNOW THAT THE SERIAL NUMBER BELONGS TO A SEQUENCE THAT ENDED BEFORE THESE CURRENT WARTIME NOTES WERE ISSUED.

8 THE MAJOR LOOKED THOUGHTFULLY AT SMILER. ALTHOUGH ALREADY AWARE THAT HE WAS A MAN OF MANY TALENTS, HE HADN’T EXPECTED THIS. SO YOU’RE ALSO A CURRENCY EXPERT?

I TRY TO KEEP ABREAST OF DEVELOPMENTS. ‘E MEANS ‘E DON’T WANT ANYONE PASSIN’ DODGY NOTES TO ‘IM, ‘COS THE DODGY TYPES ‘E MAKES DODGY DEALS WIV WOULDN’T BE ABOVE TRYIN’ SUMFIN’ LIKE THAT!

ON BALANCE, GUY DECIDED IT WAS WORTH LOOKING INTO AND TURNED TO LEAVE, STILL HOLDING THE TEN-SHILLING NOTE.

WHAT ABOUT MY TEN BOB?

I’LL RUN IT

BY SOME REAL EXPERTS AND SEE WHAT THEY’VE GOT TO SAY.

IF YOU ASK NICELY MAYBE MISTER TENBY WILL GIVE IT BACK TO YOU...ONE DAY!

9 A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER GUY SUMMONED THEM TO HIS OFFICE. IT SEEMED SMILER HAD INADVERTENTLY OPENED A CAN OF WORMS. THE NOTE WAS A BRILLIANT FORGERY DETECTABLE ONLY BY THE WRONG SERIAL NUMBERS. NOW SCORES OF SIMILAR DUDS, POUND NOTES AS WELL AS TEN-SHILLING ONES, HAD BEEN FOUND. THE BANK OF ENGLAND FEARS IT’S JUST PART OF A TRIAL RUN TO IRON OUT ANY SNAGS BEFORE THE COUNTRY’S AWASH WITH UNDETECTABLE FORGERIES.

WHO’S BEHIND IT? CRIMINAL MASTERMINDS?

GUY SHOOK HIS HEAD GRIMLY. THE QUALITY OF THE PAPER, THE PRINTING AND THE INKS USED WOULD ONLY BE AVAILABLE TO GOVERNMENTS. IN THIS CASE THE SIGNS POINTED TO NAZI GERMANY PLANNING TO FLOOD THE COUNTRY WITH FORGERIES. AFTER THAT THEY’LL BROADCAST THE NEWS TO THE BRITISH PUBLIC. PEOPLE WON’T KNOW IF THEIR BANKNOTES ARE REAL OR FORGED AND WILL LOSE TRUST IN THEM.

THAT COULD DAMAGE THE WAR EFFORT AT HOME…

…AND IT DOESN’T SOUND LIKE THERE’S ANYTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT.

10 SMILER’S SUPPOSITION WASN’T QUITE RIGHT. GUY SHOWED THEM A PHOTOGRAPH OF A MIDDLE-AGED CIVILIAN AND EXPLAINED HE HAD BEEN A MASTER ENGRAVER FOR THE POLISH MINT UNTIL GAMBLING DEBTS MADE HIM A SECURITY RISK. HE HAD THEN COME TO LONDON AND BEEN “PERSUADED” BY SOME UNDERWORLD CHARACTERS TO MAKE PLATES FOR FORGING TEN-SHILLING AND POUND NOTES. THE FORGERIES WERE GIVEN AWAY ONLY

BY THE WRONG SORT OF PAPER. MAREK ZELINSKI’S PLATES WERE AS GOOD AS THE REAL THING. AND HE’S THE ONLY MAN CAPABLE OF THAT.

SO WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?

ZELINSKI HAD MANAGED TO ESCAPE JUSTICE BY BRIBING HIS WAY ON TO A POLISH FREIGHTER USING HIS OWN FORGED MONEY AND RETURNING TO HIS NATIVE COUNTRY. HIS TIMING, HOWEVER, HAD BEEN WORSE THAN BAD AS HE ARRIVED A FEW DAYS BEFORE THE GERMAN INVASION.

THERE’S BEEN NO TRACE OF HIM SINCE, BUT WE KNOW HIS HOME TOWN IS A VILLAGE IN NORTH POLAND CLOSE TO THE BALTIC COAST. THAT’S WHERE WE’LL BEGIN OUR SEARCH.

US? BUT ‘OW DO WE GET TO POLAND?

Douglas

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If there was one thing the

Convict Commandos — Jelly Jakes, Smiler Dawson, Titch Mooney — liked, it was easy money. Unfortunately the money their leader Guy Tenby had them chasing wasn’t easy, it was very difficult indeed. For it was in Occupied Norway and the Nazis didn’t want them to get anywhere near it.

Recall: R19-11-May-11

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