DBQ DAVID BRIDGEFORTH QUARTERLY
THE UGLY IN BEING BEAUTIFUL REDEFINE YOUR OWN!
THE
10
'MOST BEAUTIFULLEST' MEN ALIVE Photo by Samantha Figueroa For DBQ Magazine June/July 2014 DBQMAG.COM
+ LETTER TO MY SON MY TRIBUTE TO MAYA ANGELOU
HERE WE GO!
I
t is the heart of Summer and this is the time of year most of us in this community find ourselves single and ready to show off the amazing bodies we've been working on all winter. It is also the time where beauty is most visible and celebrated.
With the intention to challenge the common consciousness and to stir conversation on what is real beauty, we expanded our annual 'Most Beautifullest Man Alive' from one person to our list of an exceptional ten. With these '10 Most Beautifullest Men Alive' we allowed them the space to define what beauty is to them. Pg 10.
Langston Blaze writes a very interesting piece titled 'The Ugly In Being Beautiful' which takes a look at the many times hypocritical and bias battle between the pretty and the plain in our community. Pg 8.
In the recent passing of my dear friend, Dr. Maya Angelou, I felt it important for the first time to tell the story of how this phenomenal woman changed my life and helped jump start this publication into existence. Please visit page 4 for 'Letter To My Son – My Tribute To Maya Angelou.'
Lastly, remember that beauty might be skin deep, but it lives in the divinity within our blood. As we enjoy this summer season of freedom and cufflessness, please know that you define your own beauty. —David Bridgeforth DBQ Magazine
TEAM DBQ The Contributors
David A. Bridgeforth Jr. Editor-In-Chief / Publisher
Langston John Blaze is a 26 year old writer/ entertainer, residing in Atlanta, Ga, who was born in Louisville, Kentucky. His most recent work is the self help gay dating novel, The Underwear Drawer, coming soon This Fall. For updates go to twitter.com/ LangstonJBlaze
Stanley Bennett Clay is an award winning filmmaker, novelist, director and playwright. His documentary "You Are Not Alone" is currently screening throughout the country. He recently directed the stage adaptation of "BBoy Blues." His latest novel "Hollywood Flames" (Book 2 of his 5book "Dominican Heat" series) is currently on the market.
Nathan James is an author, screenwriter, radio personality, and journalist. He is Executive Editor of the LGBT multimedia resource GBM News, and writes exclusively on LGBT issues and affairs.
Executive Administrator
Baldwin Rivers
Jacqui Tanner
Art Director
Contributing Editor
Dave Bridgeforth Sr.
Stanley Bennett Clay
Intern Editor
Consulting Cover Editor
Abraham Tomo Jr.
Reggie Wells
Photography
Copy Editor
Samantha Figueroa
DBQ Magazine is a nationally distributed bimonthly lifestyle publication. Published and printed in Indianapolis, Indiana. For more information on advertisement contact Rivendell Media at 908.232.2021, for editorial inquires or any other business please visit us at www.DBQMAG.com Or 908.656.6218.
DBQ Magazine June/July 2014 • VOL 4 / ISS 3 • DBQMAG.COM
CONTENTS 4. Front Row/ Letter To My Son - My Tribute To Maya Angelou
7. Behind The Scenes
10
8. The Ugly In Being Beautiful By Langston Blaze
10. The 10 'Most Beautifullest' Men Alive
21. What I've Come To Know /Define Your Beauty Page 3
4 DBQ Magazine
Jun/Jul 2014
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FRONT ROW
LETTER TO MY SON MY TRIBUTE TO MAYA ANGELOU
She arose standing six feet tall and she called me by my full name as if she had written and knew my story. She hugged me like I was her son, and invited my godfather and I to sit at her kitchen table. That day at Maya Angelou's home in Winston Salem, North Carolina would be divine, because, she was my kingdom come and I felt she was the true Wizard of Oz.
I was afraid to look at her, though I questioned her fearlessly. My godfather, Les Brown, who was old friends with Dr. Angelou, would battle me for the floor to interrogate her commentary on history. I asked her about James Baldwin and in some genius way her response would somehow lead me back to how divine I was. Mr. Brown asked about W. E. B. Dubois and Dr. Angelou within seconds would recall the last moments she spent with him.
She said, " I was with him the day before he died; I made him laugh at his bedside. He was a great human being." Wowed at the fact that she knew him I asked her, "What about Langston Hughes?" She responded, "I was 21 when I met Mr. Hughes. The exact age you are today as you meet me, my darling. You see, he was considered the people's poet and I was singing in a jazz bar and he came in one day and he told me that I would be great one day. I had no idea that I one day would, also, be considered the people's poet as he was." Hours had gone by and the three of us had lost ourselves in history. So many legendary names had been dropped and stories of honor and inspiration had been told. I learned of the deep friendship between Rayard Rustin and Dr. King. I heard stories of her driving Malcom X around in her compact car in Ghana and of her friendship with Nina Simone. She shared what Billy Holiday told her when she first met her and how it gave her hope.
I asked her what was her message for my generation, those who are like me, those LGBT people of color; her response was, "You David are better than you think you are and more powerful than you could ever imagine." As the words flowed from her mouth they instantly resonated with my soul, though I hadn't fully fathomed their complete meaning.
She continued by sharing a quote from a historical playwright named Terence: " I am a human being, nothing human is alien to me."
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She looked at me and said, "Darling, that means that we can do the greatest thing a human has ever done or we can do the worst. We can feed millions like Mother Teresa or we can kill millions like Hitler." I asked her what her greatest lesson that she had learned thus far and she looked at me and without hesitation said, " I am a daughter of God. There is no good thing I cannot do. I am His child. The same stuff that holds the clouds in the sky and that stuff that races through our veins, that divinity is God and He is within us."
Hours had passed and the conversation had turned to writing and poetry. In the middle of her talking about how there are very few real poets on the earth and the struggle of getting the rest of the world to agree with your work, Les Brown, my godfather, said, "David, what about your poem that you wrote for Maya on the airplane yesterday? Might you read it?"
Dr. Angelou set up straight in her seat and looked first at Mr. Brown then at me and said, "A poem? Poetry?" I was mortified, I gave Mr. Brown a side-eye that said all of (Just because I wrote some stuff down on the airplane last night in honor and in gratitude for Maya Angelou, doesn't mean it's a poem that I want her to know about, nor read it out loud to her!)
I smiled with fear and replied, "Yes, Dr. Angelou, I wrote a poem yesterday on the plane." She looked at me and said, "Oh, its not finished. It takes me weeks and months... a year to write a good poem, you wrote one last night on a plane? Work on the poem my darling and send it to me; I'd love to read it then. But the poem is yours and you can choose to read it now." Everything within me stood still. My stomach and my eyes, my lips and my thighs were locked. But my soul was awake and with clarity it told me to read the poem to her now. At this time Les Brown gave me a look that spoke volumes (Boy! If you read this poem that you threw together and embarrass me in this woman's house... You are not a poet. You are a powerful motivational speaker!).
I looked at Maya Angelou and said, "I'll read the poem now." She replied, "Very well, proceed." My hands were trembling! So I took a deep breath to calm myself so that I wouldn't stumble as I read. Clearly and sharply, but still softly, I began:
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Clearly and sharply, but still softly, I read:
This black boy Minute But gallant
“There are journeys and there are journeys that become legends” A black woman Tall as the heavens With arms wide enough to hold multitudes Mother To kings and queens Grandmother To jubilant juveniles – smiling in the light of a legacy. This woman on a journey of vicissitudes Arriving in ignorance Stands gutsy With plucky and loquacious blood galloping through her veins Rises into brilliance.
Sayings to you now… “There are journeys and there are journeys that become legends” With angels And tribes of Kings and queens Prophets and prophetess Those who are aloof and those nigh Us that hold the hem of your garment And eat from you kitchen Ordinary women and gentle men We poor and rich who read your words Softly Congregate
And on this day Experiencing eight-one years On this vacillating orb of soot
To celebrate a legacy To bath in wisdom
Abiding Burly With uncompromising compassion Gracefully existing in definition.
As your arms firmly wrapped around us Mid air Flying And as you supplely release us We fall and rise Gracefully
And in this moment A black boy Minuscule But towering into manhood Stands, sits, exist, breathes
Flying also With wings that fit us well To create our own stories
With the knowledge that he has been Barrowed, bought, broken And now paid for by Tears crawling down furrow faces Gnarled by a lifetime of wages earned and embezzled.
And with those stories Our songs Our words Our contribution to the world But certainly with our lives We forever say Loudly and softly So softly “Thank You”
And preserved by Knees darkened and bloated and inflamed By prayers to God everywhere for his destiny
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LETTER TO MY SON MY TRIBUTE TO MAYA ANGELOU
I bowed my head slowly as I ended my reading. Before anyone could say anything, Mr. Brown weepingly said, "That poem was amaaa..."
Before he could finish Maya Angelou said, "Mr. Brown please be silent. I need to experience this." When I say to you that silence hit the room. Mrs. Crisp was chopping onions behind us in the kitchen, she ceased. The air conditioner turned off and all the trees nearby stood still. Maya put her hand gently over her mouth and paused for what seemed like a thousand years; so long that I wonder what she might be thinking. I didn't know what to think so I simply waited...
After several minutes of silence, heavy tears tumbled down her soft mocha face. She wiped the tears, but remained silent only to suddenly look at me with shock and what could only be described as utter astonishment. She gazed at me as if I had lied to her. As if I was an imposter, like I was the son of a king, pretending to be poverty stricken.
She looked daringly into my eyes and said, "You're a poet." She turned slowly and looked at Les Brown, the world's most celebrated motivational speaker, and said with confusion written on her face, "He's a poet... He has that stuff, that divinity." Looking at me as she wiped tears from her eyes, "You ARE a poet." I began to cry. I cried for everything that should had been eventful in my life that only yielded disappointment. I cried because I knew that after those words were released from her lips I would never be the same, for I could never crawl in darkness or unconsciousness again. I could no further stoop to blind ignorance. She told me who I was and everyone in the room saw it. And so 'Caroline stepped into the light.'
As all three of us pulled ourselves together, fixed our faces, ties and shirts, and set up straight in our seats, Maya Angelou wanted to pray a blessing over our lives. I must admit I still have yet to hear a prayer that has moved my existence more deeply. She looked up, over, and above our heads as she laid her hands on our faces and heads: "Father Mother God. I come, I bow, I sit, I lay, I crumple here. I call the angels behind the stars and the giants of the land, that no words
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Maya Angelou, age 21 with Langston Hughes.
would burn their skin for they will fulfill the destiny on their lives. In the name of His bosom where I lay every night, Jesus The Christ." My hope is that you take this story and the truths it holds as a letter, as a blue print. For the experience itself inspired the trajectory of my life in ways the world has yet to see or experience. I share this story with so much detail, not to impress anyone or to release any kind of press surrounding Maya Angelou's affirmation of my talents. That press release was noted, affirmed, and took place years ago, which is why I have arrived so purposefully to this place. My true intention is to push you with the same pressure that this awakening experience applied to my life, so much until you see the love in the details. Until you see the letter she wrote on my heart addressed to you. She told me that I was better than I thought I was, that was her response when I asked her what her message was for people like me, the gays of my generation.
I never understood completely what she meant, but I now see completely what God intended for this letter written by Maya on my heart. She told me to keep writing. She never knew that a week before I met her, my creative writing professor told me I was an awful writer. Only years later to publish and edit, DBQ Magazine, the nations most popular publication for 20 & 30 something, gay men of color. Only to be affirmed of my greatness by greatness.
And so I write this letter to you with one major truth to urge gracefully upon you. YOU ARE BETTER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE! And you are a son or a daughter of God. Divinity courses throughout your veins. Go forward and with your gifts, with your abilities, with the many callings, with the crowns you may wear show, go, and tell the world who you are.
Mother Maya, we speak your name.
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ABOVE THE RAINBOW
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BEHIND THE SCENES
The Hat The 'Mystic Eris' Conical hat was conjured up visually by society today and how people are viewed. It is one of the two pieces for Tae Designz', 'DARK FANTASY' Duo Collection. The 'Mystic Eris' Conical hat represents the darker more 'evil' side of the way one is viewed. 'ERIS' comes from Dwarf Planet which also represents being free in a sense of not having to adapt to the norm. MYSTIC ERIS CONICAL, ByTaeDesignz.com, $65
The Shorts Bronzed silver /gold liquid Shorts by LOVE, CARTER ( IG: @LoveMrCarter ), $80 The Photography Samantha Figueroa ( IG: @samanthastudio www.samanthastudio.com ) The Location Venice Beach, CA
HARLEM PRIDE 2014
1. Mr. Bridgeforth with celebrated trans violinist Tona Brown. 2. Mr. Bridgeforth with celebrity choreographer Pony Zion. 3. Mr. Bridgeforth with performer Pierre Ingram after his stage show in Harlem.
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THE UGLY IN BEING BEAUTIFUL Words/ Langston Blaze
In the gay world, beauty is power; so much power that sometimes I’ve questioned the men I’m surrounded by. The things the gays are willing to put up with in love, dating, and relationships all with the foundation of, “Well, he’s sexy. He has a nice body like totally King of L.A. Fitness, worthy of being praised like a God,” says the gays’ subconscious mind. For us, there’s beauty in body, “serving face” otherwise known as having the ideal facial features, what kind of car he drives, what kind of labels he wears, how much money does he have (with no need to know exactly what he does for a living) and can he get into the club for free…oh and let me not forget the “Likes”. How many followers does he have via Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter? How did "I like you" turn into, I “Like” all your pictures via social media and now I’ve convinced myself you are my long lost boyfriend…well at least until Cuffing Season is over and then, I’ll dump you for the next piece of eye candy. As cliché as it sounds, beauty is skin deep and in the eye of the beholder. With that said you have to damn near pray to God that a gay man hasn’t been battered or emotional abused by a man. This makes a lot of gays lousy relationship potentials because they’ve seen beauty in the hurt. Recently, I met a guy, Trevor, who I became completely fond of. His last relationship was a whirlwind of hurt from infidelity, abuse, and driven by materialistic factors. It had been a great length of time from the break up to our new found interests in each other. Yet midway through our interaction, I noticed Trevor pulling back emotionally and physically. We stayed trapped in his apartment most days as he consumed himself with work, which was obviously a way of avoiding his issues. On top of that, I found out from mutual friends that he still talked to his ex who cheated on him and was now in a serious relationship with the guy he cheated with. However, my new found love interests and his ex had build what looked like a solid marriage oriented relationship together. They lived together, bought big properties, and wanted to start looking for ways to have a baby. What I realized was with all the ugly in their tumultuous relationship was a beauty I could not understand; a beauty that was blinded by emotional scars. I wondered, is beauty in a gay relationship a gift or curse? Can a man be so beautiful whether he doesn’t have the most incredible face but a sexy physique and be excused for his malicious intentions or the hurt he causes? One night out with Trevor and I’s mutual friends, a engaged couple, I noticed Trevor across the bar and waved my hand in his direction for him to come over. As he did, Trevor greeted everyone in our circle except me. I was completely confused by his actions. Was I not the handsome guy he said I was over and over again anymore, was I supposed to be a secret, or some random guy he thought would make a great sex thing soon; what? Days later, Trevor would apologize for his actions saying he was in a “weird space” which in not so many words said, he was still going through the motions of getting over his ex and anybody he wasn’t prepared for post the break up was in for a treat of inconsistencies and patience. Needless to say, Trevor and I didn’t work out. He was still in love with his ex. He never said it but in the two and a half months we spent time together we never went out on a date, we never kissed but slept in the same bed, and we never had sex, which at this point, I was quite happy about. I broke my rule. Going to some else’s place to “get to know them" was a set up. However, I thought the set up only applied to sex. Turns out, it applied to the entire concept of getting to know someone. How many times have we looked at a guy on social media and been immediately turned on by him? Yet, if we happen to get the opportunity to see him in person and see how he interacts with people and hopefully even YOU, have we been greatly disappointed? It’s like hearing about how great a book is all to read it and be disappointed about how the beginning set the tone for a failed middle and end. Needless to say, there’s beauty in sex that
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has been confused and abused by the gays for years. Good sex can make a bad relationship drag on for years. Some gays have been so sexually fulfilled by a man that their truly not in a relationship with him. They’re in a relationship with his sex. “Are you a top, bottom, or versatile?” a gay man might want to know this before, “What’s your name?” “What do you do for a living?” and “Are you close with your family?” In a perfect world, the beauty in sex would come in the beauty of dating and the possibilities of a relationship. The moment, we sexualize each other, is the moment we put each other in boxes. I asked my friend today, “Are gay men setting themselves up for long term love that can last twenty and thirty plus years of commitments and loyalty and trust?” Like he said, “We have to be willing to do the work.” The beauty and the challenge in love is remembering why you got together in the first place, because eventually, the fact that he looked like Trey Songz when you met him may not be the greatest foundation for why you love him twenty years later. I looked in the mirror this morning and I saw myself completely naked (literally), examining myself and scrutinizing my being. I saw my brown complexion with a hint of a red undertone, my slender physique, full lips, almond shaped eyes, and nicely cut hair. I criticized myself for being “skinny” not as brutally blunt but as others criticized me. I saw the stretch marks on my shoulders, the mole on my nose that completely bothered me at times. Real as real can be, I even looked at my dick like, “Is it big enough?” and then, I thought, is this what love and wanting to feel beautiful has come to under a gay microscope or Top Model elimination round, hoping that you’re somebody’s top 10? The most interesting thing happened during a phone call I received from my new good friend, Brandon. He was a magazine editor and he’d just gotten out of a long term relationship he categorized as a “marriage”. He had just started dating again when I noticed the guys he would tell me about didn’t fit the attributes he truly liked. He’d just turned thirty and I totally respected and understood his desire to not date men too young or too pretty or popular. However, he’d been dating guys he didn’t find attractive when suddenly, he said to me, “Well Langston, I’m not sexy. I don’t fit the stereotypical look gay men like. I mean, I know I’m cute, but not sexy. I’m not perfectly thin. I don’t feel sexy.” In hearing this from him, I realized it wasn’t my job to motivate him into categorizing himself as a different form of beautiful other than, “I’m cute, not sexy.” I felt it was my friendly duty to tell him that “sexy single gay men” don’t quite hold the token you believe they have. In Atlanta and all over the country, I’d heard dating horror stories of popular gay men who had the “universal beauty” appeal but didn’t understand the humility in it. They abused themselves and other people. They did this because the men they dated bought into their brand. It was like eating dessert before dinner. You knew it wasn’t good for you but you did it anyway. Who were these men that decided that being gay and beautiful was an exclusive club for muscles, biracial to light skinned features, tattoos, fitted caps, or any other aspect that might have said, “I’m gay but at least I look straight.” Had our minds been deluded? Was the beauty we seen in men a brainwashed concept of what every other gay man said was hot, sexy, and all that? Suddenly, I realized that a confidence in who I was and wanted to be could have the possibility of reigning over my beauty. One interesting thing about dating Trevor was, I felt handsome before we dated, but I’d never had someone I was interested in who appeared to be attracted to me, say they found me attractive. No, I didn’t need the validation but who was to say it wasn’t necessary? What I learned about being beautiful was that it wasn’t about the compliment. It was how you dealt with it afterward, because that could make something so beautiful, too ugly to know the difference.
Jun/Jul 2014
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THE
10
'MOST BEAUTIFULLEST'
MEN ALIVE
To us beauty is the internal energy, light, and love one is born with. When we become aware and in control of that energy, light, and love we become most beautiful. Today in our culture the definition of beauty has become much different than ours at DBQ. Our generation celebrates flawless skin, muscles, bone structure, and the right looking hair. Perhaps those too are ingredients of beauty. We want you to redefine beauty for yourself. I introduce to you our selection of those we feel are a combination of both, The 10 'Most Beautifullest' Men Alive. Tweet us your thoughts on beauty and those you think should make the list. @DBQMAG #DBQBEAUTIFULLEST
Ivanie Murphy, 28 Los Angeles, California Businessman A combination of qualities such as shape, color, personality, that pleases the artistic senses especially the sight. @ivaniemurphy Photo; Steven Williams
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Cayron Chester, 32 New York, NY Fashion Stylist Beauty to me is being comfortable in your own skin and knowing that you're beautiful no matter what shape, shade or size you are.
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Tre Garรงon, 27 Dallas, TX Licensed Real Estate Agent, Owner of Johnny Tremain Residential Group Beauty is the energy that comes from within. @trejusttre
DBQ
Steven R. Plater, 29 New York, NY Music Artist/Model Beauty comes from within and radiates out into the world. @thecrownedone07
DeAnthony Balenciaga (Epps), 23 Washington, Dc Student True beauty to me isn't what is seen, but what is felt. @teamdeanthony
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Bry'Nt, 28 New Haven, CT. Hip-Hop Artist Beauty is the natural way all living things display uniqueness. @Bryntmusic
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Daniel Hawkins, 29 New York, NY Fashion Stylist Beauty to me is individuality. danihaw.com
Blake Young-Fountain, 32 Los Angeles, CA Actor & Producer To me, beauty is looking in the mirror with a genuine smile, because you realize self-love is life's gift back to you‌yeah, that's beauty. IG: @BYoungFountain
Marquis "Lucky" Engle, 23 Ohio, Motivational Speaker, HIV Advocate, Fashion Designer. Beauty is the light, energy or spirit within you that others see and feel. IG: @POPULAR CULTURE_ sewgoodreapgo od.com
DBQ
Kyle Goffney, 32 Hollywood, Ca Model & Stunt Double Beauty to me isn't the physical, but when you can love and accept who you are as an individual. Most people aim for beauty to fit in, to be desired, or accepted, but a person who truly wants to get to know you will accept and love you and your dirt! @kylegoffney
What I've Come To Know DAVID BRIDGEFORTH
"Everyone is born unique, but most of us die copies."
I
read that when I was 16 and can remember the feeling of pride it gave me. The thought that I was born unique, different, and that I was something beautiful, empowered me. It wasn't until I became public about my sexuality and entered my 20s that I understood the hole in the soul of our culture.
Perhaps some people would say I might have been too sheltered as a child, but only when I arrive daringly at my 20s did I begin to see how ignorance prevails in our world. I saw that the symbol of beauty tilted, bent, and angled toward superficiality not the lovely light substance that glows within causing us to recognize what the utterance of beauty is.
personally believe in every given moment I am in perfection. I am perfect. I am where I need to be in this moment. God is working on me to move me to the next perfect moment. I am not chasing any imagine of what perfection might be. I am only leaning and urging myself toward love, health, wellness, and peace. I am intending to be a more perfect me. And with this way of thinking I don't judge myself or shame myself or criticize myself for anything, because I remember who I really am. We are all beauty incarnate––made up of all that makes up all that is and will forever be beautiful.
We have become so concerned with skin tone and bone structure and a small waist and nice cakes, that we haven't looked at the condition of our souls. We haven't examined in honesty really why our cup doesn't 'runneth over' with joy. We think it is our imperfections that we hate, the truth is that we hate ourselves for ever believing the lie that we were imperfect to begin with. And so we bleach ourselves and straighten, and thin and fill and pull and stitch ourselves so that we can be someone else's definition of beauty.
As you remember who you are and garnish the power and the love within you, you will create an experience of perfection, beauty, and love that your life has never known.
I believe whole heartedly in conscious self affirming transformations that are congruent with a personally mature definition of internal and external beauty. However, what is poisoning the soul of our community is that for the most part our beauty transformations have more to do with self hatred and our reckless and hopeless pursuits to measure up to our culture's ignorant definition of beauty which in the 21st century has more value than our singular lives.
What I've come to know is that there are two beliefs that one can hold on to. You right now in this very moment are perfect the way you are and in every other moment after this you are still in perfection. Or you aren't perfect right now and you will always be striving for perfection. I
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