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Ways To Get Your Roses From A Good Man

SPRING FASHION A Porn Star + An Erotic Dancer (Sex ) = Love

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GAY LOVE Volume 3 Issue 2 March/April 2013 DBQMAG.COM Twitter Us @DBQMAG Photo by Maurice Wiggins

My New Favorite Couple

DIAMOND Talks About Hair, Love & Music Ballroom ROCKSTARS

SINIA EBONY & CEASAR PRODIGY What I've Come To Know About Dating Pg. 25


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t's Spring time and we believe love is in the air. New relationships are blossoming everywhere and we want to help you put your best foot forward with our annual Love Issue.

Be sure to read our 10 ways to get your roses from a good man. We brought together the smartest and empowering dating tips that will help you get what you want. Pg 12.

I talk to my new favorite couple about their love life and how they balance their relationships and their careers. Very fascinating story. Pg 15. And we end this issue with some Spring fashions from some of my favorite new designers. And I get personal on Pg. 25, I share the hard and painful lessons from my dating experiences; it is truly what I've come to know about love.

Here We Go!

CONTRIBUTORS

It is Spring time, new things are growing and bright things are happening. Jump into it and you'll be surprised at the refreshing stuff you will find. Happy Spring!

Quentin Marcellis studies mass communications in Washington, DC. He is a writer and an LGBT activist as well as an aspiring model and fashion journalist. He is a contributing writer at DBQ.

Kiara Peterson, editorial assistant for DBQ, majoring in Journalism at IUPUI in Indianapolis, Indiana. She has a passion for writing.

Matthew Is an actor, singer,

DaShawn Usher is a native New Yorker. He focuses most of his time and talents in Public Relations, health and the nonprofit sector. His passion is creative writing. He is managing editor at DBQ.

Editor-In-Chief / Publisher David A. Bridgeforth Jr. Senior Editor/ Executive Administrator Jacqui Tanner Contributing Editor Stanley Bennett Clay Consulting Cover Editor Reggie Wells Managing Editor/ Copy Editor

Dashawn Usher Entertainment Editor Matthew Barrett Ballroom Editor Pony Zion Makeup Reggie Wells Photography/ Retouch Felix Mercedes Editorial Assistant Kiara Peterson Clothing Stylist Dorian Richburg

blogger, activist living in New York. For the past three years he has been a part of the hit web series ADTV. You can watch The Matthew Barrett Show on YouTube.

DBQ Magazine is a nationally distributed bimonthly lifestyle publication. Published and printed in Indianapolis, Indiana. For more information on advertisement, circulation, or articles please visit us at www.DBQMAG.com Or call 317.500.4327 or 908.656.6218.


DBQ David Bridgeforth Quarterly

March/April 2013 FOLLOW US ON TWITTER @DBQMAG / DBQMAG.COM

EVERYWHERE ABOVE THE RAINBOW

P.16

P. 25

5. The World According to Matthew 6. FRONT ROLL/ Diamond 8. 10 Ways To Get Your Roses From A Good Man 10. BALLROOM/ SINIA EBONY & CEASAR PRODIGY

P.6

VOGUEcabulary by PONY ZION 12. A Porn Star + An Exotic Dancer - (Sex) = Love [My New Favorite Couple] 15. BOOKS/ 5 Must Reads

16. SPRING FASHION 23. The Love List / FIVE THINGS WE EMPHATICALLY ENDORSE 25. What I've Come To Know / Dating & Love


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Behind the Scene

Follow Dave's Life on INSTAGRAM

@BRIDGEFORTH

NYC JAN/FEB RELEASE PARTY AT Culture Club

1

2

Make Your Next Date A Picnic

3 1. Designer Bronson Johnson and Dave on the red carpet at the Fashion Week Kickoff Party at CLUB XL in NYC. 2. Dave and celebrity Hairstylist, Derek J. 3. Dave with friends Ty Hunter and Pony Zion.

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DBQ Magazine

Mar/Apr 2013

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THE WORLD ACCORDING TO

Mat!ew

DBQ's Entertainment Editor shares what he's crazy about this Issue.

4 New Albums I'm Crazy About... The App I Am loving...

1. Alice Russell - 'To Dust'

JackThreads has become one of my favorite apps. It's a lovely way to get amazing deals on some great clothes. But Be careful it becomes addictive.

Favorite Teeth Whitening Device... GLO Brilliant Personal Teeth Whitening Device. In my opinion this is the best at home Teeth whitening kit available. Making teeth noticeably whiter in just days and causing no sensitivity that other at home whitening systems cause. Available at Sephora.

2. RHYE 'Woman'

3. Shoshana Bean - 'O'Farrell Street'

4. Bilal - 'A Love Surreal'

What I Am Reading At The Moment... Rachel Maddow 'Drift'

Favorite New Protein Bars... Quest Protein Bars - These are the best bars on the market when it comes to Protein bars that are actually healthy. With 21 grams of protein, no sugar, gluten free, very low-carb only 3g active carbs, lowcalorie and the highest amount of ďŹ ber you'll ďŹ nd in a protein bar. Find them at GNC or online at questproteinbar.com Chocolate Brownie & Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough are my favorite.

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DBQ Magazine

Mar/Apr 2013

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[ ] FRONT ROLL

DIAMOND On Hair, Relationships & Music

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DBQ Magazine

Mar/Apr 2013

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Q&A

DBQ- What sparked you to do a hairline? Diamond: My hair stylist and wardrobe stylist were helping me transition into making sure that my hair weave was on point, and that it was top of the line hair style. I had been getting so many compliments on my hair; I decided that I wanted to match my brand with another company that has good quality hair, which I could really support. I wanted to make sure that this was something that I could wear. I’m excited about it DBQ- You do look good in it. Diamond- Thank you. I just feel like owned it. It was like a perfect marriage. A lot of times I’m wearing hair, and yeah I feel good about the hair that I’m wearing, but I don’t really know much about it. I know only so much and each time that I have sitting down with Pink Blush Hair, I’m learning so much more about hair, and the quality and were to get it from. Like the difference between this pattern and that pattern, just being more hands on makes the clients and the fans know that Diamond Dior is good, and that this is apart with what I have. It’s new, fun, and fresh. We’re going to make sure they have it, I’m excited about it. DBQ: How do people get ahold of it? Diamond: You can go to PinkBlushhair.com or DiamondDiorhair.com to order it. When you get your hair done its therapeutic, hair is art within itself. A lot of women want to feel good about themselves. To me that’s really how people perceive you. If you have nappy hair in your head people are going to look at you a certain kind of way. If you have some good quality hair in your head, then people will come to you and ask who did your hair. It’s a difference between using the hairweave in the Chinese store, and the Pink Blush Diamond Dior hair. It doesn't tangle and it

doesn’t shed, and it takes color. A lot of girls and women follow me, they know I love color, so that was the main thing that I wanted to make sure that my product, or line did. The hair can hold color or dye without shedding and freezing. It’s something that can last longer than just one time with you wearing it. DBQ: There are so many gay hair stylist and drag queens who love your hair line. Diamond: You can’t forget about the gay community. I'm a supporter of the community and my apology if I seem to over step you guys. I have had the gay support me since Crime Mob days, I can’t forget about you all. DBQ: Why did you leave Crime Mob? Diamond: Crime Mob actually kicked me out of the group. DBQ: How did you feel about that? Diamond: We were young, it was a lot of people in our ears pulling us different directions, and we were forced into it at a young age. At the time I was upset, but I knew I had to move forward. Bills have to get paid, I have a family that depends on me. I’m not one that will quit, I may fall down but I will dust myself off and I get back up. I never quit, I'll die trying that’s the kind of person I am. DBQ: Now what are your feelings about them? Diamond: I still love them though, it’s no bad blood. DBQ: Are you signed to a label? Diamond:Let’s just say I have a situation; I’m going to make an announcement about it. DBQ: Why did you turn down the offer to be in Love&HipHop Atlanta? Diamond: It didn’t help the Diamond brand, if I’m on TV

acting crazy or I’m put into a situation where I have to show out, how is it going to help my brand. I have a lipstick deal, hairline deal and all these other great things that you have yet to hear about for 2013, how is it going to help the Diamond brand.

relationship allows me to be a wonderful partner, and being a wonderful partnership allow me to help my mate and my mate to help me.

DBQ: How do you feel about Lil Scrappy?

Diamond: Yes. I just know that anything is going to be hard. Relationships that are hot in the public eye are hard to; it’s about give and take. When you’re in the public eye you have people’s opinions, and there morals might not go along with your morals, that’s more shit on top of shit.

Diamond: Next subject, nobody is about to get their shine in my interview. DBQ: How do you feel about other females in the rap game? Diamond: I definitely think we need more, I see everybody is on their grind. DBQ: Anybody in particular that you like right now? Diamond: I like Azealia Banks, and Iggy. DBQ: Are you working on any new music? Diamond: Of course. I have been working on my album since Christmas of last year. I have new music, new material, and new singles. I’m more of a Spring and Summer time artist, as far as like the music that people are used to hearing from Crime Mob, so were going to start off with that, and take everybody on a journey to where Diamond is now. DBQ: Who do you want to collaborate with? Diamond: I would love to collaborate with Dr. Dre and Timberland. DBQ: Are you still dating Soulja Boy? Diamond: I’m single. A relationship is good and single is good. It doesn’t make me, I’m good either way. A lot of people are scared to be single, because they don’t know who they are or happy with themselves. Being single allows me more time to respect myself, and being in a

DBQ: Don’t you think that relationships are hard in the spotlight?

DBQ: What was the inspiration behind your mix tape “The Young Life?” Diamond: The young life was my street LP, it was a snippet of what the album was going to sound like. A lot of people didn’t know that I could stretch or that I was versatile. I touched on different subjects on different shit to let people know that I hear, and I see them and don’t think for one minute that it’s not gone get addressed, but it was just enough to pacify the fans. I have been working so hard on this album, and making sure that it’s right. I had to give my attention to the other project that I was working on, but I didn’t want to abandon my fans from the music. I also drop webisodes on my website diamondatl.com. I try to do those if not once a week or every other week, to kind of let them know what I’m doing when I’m not tweeting. Basically I show what I’m doing behind the scenes, if I’m on the road, doing radio, or interacting with the fans. I let the fans see different elements of me. I also dropped a video called “American Women” ft. Verse Simmonds; this should be on 106&Park very soon. I really want to continue playing those visuals out for The Young Life, and get ready for the album so it can drop when it’s hot, I’m excited.

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DBQ Magazine

Mar/Apr 2013

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10 WAYS TO GET YOUR ROSES FROM A GOOD MAN

Words/ David Bridgeforth & Quentin Marcellis

It is only from my many failed attempts of dating different, unique men, and searching for this thing called “love” (eventually leading to heartbreak and disappointment) that I have learned the strategy and tactics of dating. “You live, and you learn” a very true statement especially regarding your romantic life. Just like with everything in life, everything takes practice and rhythm. You would think dating would be simple. You like me I like you, let’s cut out all the extra and just be together. Dating has changed and continues to change so much. It’s a war. It’s a “game.” There is this invisible rule book floating around of things to do and not do, and if you don’t know the rules, its game over for you. You most certainly are not guaranteed to find your soul mate on the first try, at least most of us don’t. But if I know one thing for sure, it’s that people come in to your life to teach you more about yourself. They craft and mold us into the person we are meant to be, to prepare us for the person that we are all ultimately meant to be with. I’m reminded of a quote by the infamous ‘Frank Ocean’ in which he states “You came into my life for a reason. Either you’re a blessing or a lesson.” It is from experiencing and dating these different individuals that I have learned the do’s and do NOT’S of dating. As well as what the title appropriately says “How to get your roses.” So from my experiences thus far I have come up with ten beneficial and successful ways I’ve learned to date successful, smart, and get your roses from a ‘good’ man. 1. Become Equally Attached: When you’re dating someone it is very important that you are both on the same page especially with your feelings towards one another. There is nothing worse than being attached to someone who is not attached to you. Your calling and texting him more than he calls and text’s you, that’s not cute, nor does it feel good to you. Its ok if you already feel a sense of attachment to someone, but it’s not wise to show that feeling if the other person has not shown you the same. Back off a little, and wait until you know for sure that you both have an equal attachment to each other. If not then don’t give off that vibe too much or you might lose him or even scare him away. Save yourself from disappointment. Wait until you know for sure the attachment is mutual. After all, only equals fall in love. 2. Have High Standards and Low Expectations: We are all guilty of raising our expectations high for someone who hasn’t given us a

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reason for them to be so high in the first place. You meet someone one day, you start growing more attached, and attracted. So much to the point where you start expecting them to be someone and do things they may or may not be or do. Then when things don’t work out you get your heartbroken, or feelings hurt. You have to learn to keep those expectations low, and if you have those expectations make sure they gave you a reason to hold on to them and that reason would be because they were agreed upon. Your standards should always be higher than your expectations. For example how you should be treated, what you deserve, and what you will and will not tolerate. Having high standards for yourself and low expectations for love interest will save you from ultimately being hurt and disappointed in the long hall. Never apologize for having high standards, if someone is truly interested in you, they will rise up to meet them.

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Mar/Apr 2013

3. Be Unbothered: The perfect transition from number two. Being ‘Unbothered’ means to not stress or be press. If you happened to have unfulfilled expectations, that weren't on, don't show that they bother you, because you shouldn't have then in the first place. It’s not attractive to be stressed and pressed over someone you are just dating or getting to know. We all love JayZ because he is always unbothered. He is so not pressed about anything and if he is, we don't know it. Learn to relax and play your cards right. Learn to dance to the rhythm of the flow, and allow each other individual freedom, especially if you’re not even in a committed relationship. If you have texted him or called him and he is slow to respond, or hasn’t responded, don’t let it show that it bothers you. Be unbothered. The easiest way to do this is to surrender your attention and care of the situation and focus it else where for the time being; like yourself.

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WAYS TO GET YOUR ROSES FROM A GOOD MAN

4. Let Things Flow: It’s very vital that you always take your time and not rush anything. Pay attention to the flow that he’s going with and stick with that flow. If he’s not ready to be in a relationship and just wants to get to know you better, it’s your choice whether or not that’s what you would like to do. And if you choose to go that route just let things flow, and work out on their own. Your aim should never be forcing things to work out, or move faster. Time will tell you everything you need to know, you just have to practice patience. 5. Pay Attention To The Feedback: Actions speak louder than words. Pay attention to what his actions and responses are telling you in the beginning, which we label feedback. Pay close attention to the way he responds to you. We can get so wrapped up in infatuation with someone that we tend to ignore important things that he is unintentionally trying to tell you about his personality, and the way he responds to you. Communication is everything when it comes to making relationships work. Without communication relationships fail. Feedback is another form of communication through actions. 6. Never Put all your eggs in his basket: It’s always appropriate to have a backup plan. Never give someone all of you , and make them the plan A. You should always look out for yourself at the end of the day, and not make him the main priority but an option. As I stated

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before, play your cards right, never lay them all out on the table. Just focus on getting to know him and less on investing into him. Don’t forget to explore your options and know your options. There are plenty of fish in the sea. With that being said don’t get stuck on one. Never show that your stuck on him, that’s playing not to lose. 7. Play To Win: You want to make sure that you are playing to win and not playing to not lose. What does that mean? Well when you are playing to not lose you are basically doing everything you can to keep him around and get the outcome with him that you want. Meaning you’re going out of your way to please him and do things for him, so that you somehow keep his interest in you. Playing to lose pretty much makes you look insecure, clingy, and desperate. Playing to win is no matter what the outcome is, you remained true to yourself. You’re playing all your cards right and excepting the outcome, no matter what happens. When you are playing to win you are drawing him more in to you, because of your unbothered mindset. Think of playing to win as staying in your lane while dating someone, or knowing your worth. 8. Remember Your Value: One of the most important tips, know your value. Know that you are special, you deserve nothing but that the best, and to be treated with respect. Every day as humans we are constantly showing people how to treat us but what we allow, what we stop, and what we reinforce. You can’t expect someone to value and respect you, if you don’t even value and respect yourself. Knowing your value also means loving yourself unconditional and realizing that if things don’t work out with

DBQ Magazine

Mar/Apr 2013

someone, that’s not your lose at all. When your dating someone, knowing your value will help to keep your sanity, when things are not going the way you had hoped. 9. Never Be Powerless: This mean several things, never surrender complete control of your self or life for someone else. It also means never play small in an relationship, as in dumbing yourself down to please someone else. Often times when we like someone we want it to work out so much that we are willing to surrender our power to them because we think that will keep them around, retain their attention, and validate us. When you give your power away not only do they get the best of you, you lose the best of you. It's a form of devaluing yourself, because you then are subliminally saying your not worthy enough to have, hold , and own your own power. 10. Be Full Of Yourself: Now many of you may think that this is an unattractive trait to have but if done correctly with little or no ego it could save you from getting caught up in false flattery. Being full of yourself is being filled up completely with your own loving and healthy views of yourself. This is important because how empty of you to be full of other people, their opinions, and their views of you. You need to know that you are beautiful, smart, and valuable; so that when a man says your beautiful you don't lose yourself or your panties. You must know who you are so a man's words are a simple compartment not a fulfilling experience. Being full of ones self is knowing that you are whole and complete all by yourself. And that is a healthy empowering place to be.

DBQ

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Ballroom Culture

Ballroom ROCKSTARS

SINIA EBONY & CEASAR PRODIGY DBQ: Where did the idea of Ballroom Throwback come from? Ceasar: The idea of ballroom throwback originally started in 2009. YouTube was pretty hot for the ballroom scene at the time, but basically showed new clips, so I wanted to put up a bunch of old clips just to show the scene who paved the way. DBQ: How does it feel? Ceasar: I really don’t think I’m the father. I would say I’m one of the people that are pushing out the new plat form for other people just getting with the times, because back in the day it was only VHS tapes and then it went to DVD. I just wanted to provide media for everyone around the world, so people can see the talent. DBQ: Why did you step down from being Mother Ebony, was it because of your hot new show, 'SINIA HAS THE JUICE'? Sinia: Well not specifically my show, but I was just ready to not have the weight of that house on my shoulders. I was ready to just be me. It’s a title driven time right now, and everybody wants to be legendary in ballroom. Everybody wants to be mother of the house; so many people are fighting for this title. I wanted to show in a leadership type of way that a title is not really important; it’s who you are as an individual. I step down as mother to show them. I gave the title to Shanice, because she wanted to be mother. As far as myself, I just wanted to do that to help my community, I love my community and I want to give back. DBQ: What sparked this show, what was behind all of that? Sinia: So many years’ people have told me that I really didn't know the impact that I have on people. I would listen to it but I would be like, oh no these people don’t care about what I have to say. Ceasar is my best friend and once he started “Ballroom Throwback,” I really loved what he was doing. So we decided to try and see what we could create. I trust him and know that he is going to make sure that everything worked well, and as far as my end he made sure that I didn’t look bad in any way. Once we tried it, everyone loved it; it started taking a life of its own. People really talked about our topics for weeks as well as fighting and debating them. It’s just crazy how much this show helps people. So many people have email me and tell me that I saved their lives. I help them get through tuff situations; it’s overwhelming sometimes because I never expected it to get this big.

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DBQ Magazine

DBQ: How important is family in the ballroom community? Ceasar: Well we all entered each other life when we were very young. Sinia entered my life I was only 19 going on 20 years old. She is my best friend; it was sort of like a mother figure. As far as the scene goes she was somebody that was in the scene way longer them me, and had a lot of knowledge to give me, and also a lot of advice. Sometimes I didn’t want to hear it but it was for the better for me. So when I met Pony Meka, and Alora, who passed away in 2009 it became a family and much more than that. We didn’t know how we would impact with each other from back then to now. So when you say Pony was a not, to me Pony was a young kid that needed guidance. When I look back now 13 years ago I would never think about ballroom throwback, or vogue evolution or Sinia having the juice. A lot of the young kids get abandoned by their real family and they turn to ballroom, and they turn to houses for that family figure. We had a family within that family in the scene, so it was really different because we had a lot of situations that people would never know about. As far as arguments and fighting, memories that could never be replaced. The family thing is really deep for me on a lot of levels. DBQ: Tell me about you alls friendship, and why is it special? Sinia: I think because we are honest to each other. We tell each other things when in fact we don’t want to hear them; I mean we have each other back in all situations good or bad, and the indifference. Our friendship surpassed that. My blood family loves him and adores him, and vise versa. Ceasar: To elaborate, its time where she gets on my nerves but it’s always for the better for me. That’s something you can’t really get from a lot from people. She tells me things that I don’t want to hear, but it’s for the best of me. She always has my best interest at heart. Even though it may come off as harsh, or I may be stubborn to it she always shows how much she loves me, and why she is telling me these things. One thing I can say about our friendship that this friendship to me is an evolution. I feel like our friendship evolves throughout the years. I’ve learned so much from her, I keep on learning from her that’s why it’s a friendship for me that is everlasting, compared to other friendships that lasted a short period of time.

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DBQ: So what advice would you give to a junior fem queen? Sinia: Be true to yourself; try not to be a follower. Second of all don’t feel too big to where you can’t ask somebody even if it’s a stranger. I feel like if it’s something you don’t know ask somebody, because why take a risk of trying it yourself and paying for the consequences of its going wrong, when you can put your pride to the side. I don’t mind the younger girls reaching out to me about surgery or other things. I will give them my best advice, because if you don’t know you should ask somebody that would know, and tell you if you ask. Basically be true to yourself and be willing to ask if you don’t know, because once you mess up sometimes you can’t fix things. DBQ: How do you feel that you have changed? Sinia: When I was mother Ebony it was different time in my life, because I was a very selfish individual. I was self-centered it was all about me. I could care less about anyone else, and I feel now that I have totally evolved. I’m still changing and growing into a bigger and better person. I care about people and I want to help. I want to be there for the youth and I’m willing to use myself as an instrument to better the scene, and better the community. I’m shocked at myself some days. DBQ: What sparked that? Sinia: When I was younger me and my dad we never had the best relationship, now me and him have an amazing relationship. My life is so full right now; I have so many amazing things around me. I feel blessed that I want to share that, I just can’t keep that to myself. It’s like for me to keep that to me, I feel like I’m wasting it. I feel my purpose here. Ceasar: Most definitely I think the younger me from now that I changed drastically on so many levels, personally levels, and emotionally levels.

I’ve gone through some experience that force me to look at myself and change for the best, and also eliminate certain people and elements out of my life. DBQ: Here is the million dollar question: Why is there so much violence, drugs, prostitution, escort, and crafting in ballroom? And Will it ever change? Sinia: I think that we are our worst enemy. I think that the minute that one of us gets an opportunity somebody tries their hardest to pull us down, or take the opportunity away from us. I don’t think we promote each other or push each other towards positivity. I think as far as drugs, I see these adults quick to give these babies drugs, and put them on drugs, so they can have them. Where there is drugs come and insecurities and shade, which provokes violence, it all goes hand and hand. Until we all get together and try to make a difference. It’s never going to change. Ceasar: I think a lot of it has to do with how these children are being introduced to the scene. A lot of these children come in here with no families they get lashed on to these houses, and lashed on to older individuals as role models. A lot of the leaders introduce different ways. Young kids think this is the only way to survive in the scene. For example a lot of transgender don’t know about how to get there named changed. They don’t know have the proper education to get a job, so they do prostitution or escort. I think that's why a lot of people are exposed to certain things. I feel like a lot of the agencies are so focused on HIV prevention and HIV awareness, they also need to expand other things, educating the youth like job, and to learn the ropes and how to navigate through the world.

Words/David Bridgeforth Photo/ OZ LIN ( Oscar Linares)

[VOGUE]CABULARY P

PONY ZION Photo/ Cory Malcolm

Words/

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DBQ

Performance

A Person can learn the five elements in 2013 and swear they know how to vogue. At least now a days this may be true, yet, one who knows why they are voguing can master the element of performance. Knowing how to vogue is what you need to get through a battle or to get your 10s, but when you know why you are voguing, at that very moment you can experience your body expressing itself in art. As I grew older, I worried less about legends I wanted to slay, trying to be legend, or other houses gathering their dramatic kids together for me to battle. Victory for me was tackling the opportunity to create my own style of vogue every time the soles of my black foam posit sneakers touched the runway. I have been walking balls for 15 years and I have never been chopped. I have 13 'Vogue Of The Year Awards', 3'Willy Ninja Awards', and a 'Ballroom Achievement Award', I believe this is because I never focussed on getting my 10s. I had nothing to prove yet I had everything to show. My aim was to bring the crowd to an uproar, to wake up the audience, to challenge my body and mind, and surprise my judges. It was never about not loosing, but always playing to win. I had the confident to be ready when I hit that first pose and I had the humility to know that I had everything to learn from so many others. I remember voguing sessions with icon, Sinia Ebony, as she demanded more from me as she read me. She told me I was missing something in my voguing so I would practiced harder and harder. She never knew how much her saying I did a great job meant to me. I remember Late night voguing battles with my sister, Meaka Prodigy, and her telling me my voguing needs to tell a story. I remember my sister, Alloura Zion, and I giving each other death defying stunts that other people wouldn't dare try. Kristina Sunami stayed at my house in Jersey for two weeks to teach me lines and the importance of technique. My aunt, kevin Prodigy, helping me understand the importance of grace, even in dramatics vogue. I can never forget the person who trained me since I was 16 years old, my father, Ceasar Prodigy, having me study ball tapes, telling me what I should not do, and how I should look on the runway. He would make me recap my own performance after I walked. My brothers, Malechi and Arturo, practicing everyday for hours critiquing one another's elements and creating ideas on how we can revamp our categories. This work ethic is what makes a performer. I never really focussed to much on mini balls, I saved my all for the major balls. When on big stages like the 'Latex Ball' or the 'POCC Ball', I feel like Janet or Beyonce. It's only me, the stage, the lights, the crowd, and the gift of vogue that I have to share. Voguing is how I do it, that's the easy part. Performance is what I do. JUDGES YOUR SCORES!

DBQ Magazine

Mar/Apr 2013

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ENVY & SUKI A PORNSTAR + An EROTIC DANCER (SEX) = LOVE

My new favorite couple, adult film star Envy and popular go go dancer Suki talk about their intimate love, mind-blowing sex, and progressing careers; and how this two year love affair has them ready to jump the broom. Interview/ David Bridgeforth Photos/ Swaggboiz Ent.

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DBQ: How did you meet? Suki: We met in 2011 at the Dallas Black Pride, we pretty much met at a bar called Lolita’s, and he came there to perform. It was an event put on by his house dad, and it was love at first sight. DBQ:Where you performing, or was he just performing? Suki: Yea, we both were performing he performed on that Friday night, and then I was performing on the Saturday night. So we both got to see how we expressed ourselves on stage, and when I saw him performed I was smiling my butt off. I was sitting in the back with porn star Remy Mars and another friend, and we were sitting back watching him perform, and my house dad who was also promoting in Dallas who goes by the name James Cooper. He whispered in my ear do you like that, I said I loved it but I never told him that. DBQ: You never knew that Envy? Envy: When I met him I was drunk, I was so drunk it was 99cent margaritas and I was getting vamped off those things. I didn’t want him to see how I looked so they put a coat over my head, and they took me out the club, and put me in a jag and escorted me to a friend so I could get myself together. Then the next day I was running around the hotel saying have you seen Suki, what room is he in and that was pretty much it. DBQ: Who approached who? Envy: We approached each other actually; it wasn’t one person we met in a hallway DBQ: How did you know he liked you? Envy: The whole time he was eye balling me in the bar when we were at Lolita’s. DBQ: Did you know of him?

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Suki- He was originally supposed to be my mentor. A month before pride kicked off we had weekly meetings and every time they would bring up entertainment, Envy was the very first topic and they were trying to figure that maybe he could take me under his wing, and lace me up on the game since he was well seasoned as an entertainer all around. But then we ran into each other in the hallway of the hotel room and we were crammed up the entire weekend by choice. DBQ: This was in 2011 Envy: There was no sex, we talked about what we had in

first time; it was like a kid in the candy store. We had to basically figure out if it was real or was it just based off of lust. Before pride, everybody had spoken so highly of Envy as an entertainer. We were together the entire weekend, we were only apart for the few hours, and that was for him to get ready to perform that Friday night. But Saturday night when he came back to the hotel room, and that was our final night for pride and we were about to cross that threshold, he stopped which forced me to stop, and then basically that conversation got pretty much heated but not in a bad way, but more in an emotional way. He was like I’m 35 years old, I don’t

"If you over sexualize your relationship it can damage the relationship..." common on life experiences, and we just laid down and we pretty much just spent the whole weekend together, and it wasn’t walking around we were locked in our hotel room just talking. DBQ: There was no sex? Suki/Envy: No DBQ: Why do you think there was no sex? Envy: It wasn’t about anybody else, me being 35 I’ve dated and been in relationships, and this time I saw something different. Once we got together we wanted to make sure that this was right. Now for us we put it to a test to see was this relationship based off of love, and also if we could withstand not having sex for a while. We set a time period of could we last living together. So we knew it wasn’t based off of lust, it was really based off of love and that’s how we did it. Suki: Coming from my point of view it was incredible hard. I watched him perform for the

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have time for the bullshit, I need to know if this is real or not, if it’s not I can walk out this door. I was head over heels for him at after that. You would be surprised how quickly you can fall in love with someone, it only took me three hours to sit in the car and figure it out.

Envy: It was actually supposed to be 90 days, but we added another month on just to be sure that everything was right. DBQ: Once you had sex what was the conversation then? Envy: We just knew that it was a done deal. DBQ: Was it a long distance relationship, you were in New York and he was in Texas? Envy: He moved to New York that following month, the first of November. DBQ: He moved for you? Suki: We made it official September 30th, that was our last performance together. I moved to New York November 1st. We tested it out to see if we could handle the distance between that time frame, and then a month later I came home to New York, we made our intimacy official, that was the test of our wills, which, by the way was hard as hell. When you move somebody in with you, you have doubts about what if I move him here and he messes with somebody else which would of made him act a fool. But for me I’m an old soul, I don’t have time for games and I told him it’s you that I want.

DBQ: How old where you at the time?

DBQ: So the sex was amazing?

Suki: I was 21.

Suki/Envy: Yup Yup.

DBQ: So was this different for you and the other guys you dated?

DBQ: How long have you been together?

Suki: Yea, he is well seasoned mentally. It’s like when you come across a soul like that you have to basically up your mentality. I was well grounded, but then you find somebody that will challenge your level, you have to take it up a notch. I just fell in love with him. We basically had to challenge each other. DBQ: How long until you did have sex? Suki: Four months.

Mar/Apr 2013

Suki: Two years and some change. DBQ: Explain how the sex is? Envy: People think we have crazy sex and people are asking us to do threesomes, but for us sex is totally different. It can be intimate; we can just hold each other or cuddle up and pick a movie for the night. I will cook a dinner, because I am a very good cook. Our intimacy level can get real. If you over sexualize your relationship it can damage the relationship, Having

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sex too much steers you to other people because you get bored of doing it. We try so many different ways to spice up the relationship, which I’m not going to tell you other ways. DBQ: Ha. Yes, you are. What other ways? Envy: We randomly look for other couples and go on couple’s retreats and go away and we do a little four play and we watch the couple get it on, and then we will get it on. DBQ: Does Suki get territorial? Envy: When we do what we do its certain rules and we won’t break the rules. He is really picky. For me I can say a certain guy is cute and that I really want to get the guy, if he says no then it’s a no, I won’t argue with him. He just really selective with who he wants. Me being an adult entertainer I have sworn secrecy policy. Its gets to the point where I have to have you sign an affidavit, saying its certain things that you can’t let out this house. What we do here stay here. We possibly run into people in the club, and they don’t speak about what we do at my house, that’s how I like it. That’s only way we do what we like. DBQ: On an average, how many times do you have sex in a week? Suki: We basically get intimate once every few months. DBQ:You guys only have intercourse once every few months, why is that? Suki: Well honestly we both are mature and at a higher mental level. The 20’s and the early 30’s is where sex rules the world, but you can’t do that with someone who has been there and done that. I had to step my level up and control myself. I can take this to the grave when it goes down, it goes down. DBQ: Is it planned sex or is it spontaneous?

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Envy: It’s so weird; when we get intimate it feels like the first time. We had a bed, we wore that bed out to were we broke the legs off the bed. DBQ: Then why don’t you want that every week? Envy: We done it on the floor, we done it on my fire escape while it’s raining. We get intimate it’s just not an everyday thing. We do a lot of stuff; we watch porn we will beat off to it together. Or like I will run around naked or shake my butt in front of him, and tease him and he will chase me around the house. Suki: It’s like building suspense, because when it happens its mind blowing and its very long. DBQ: Who us doing who? Do you guys have a versatile relationship? Envy: When I'm doing porn its different, I’m getting paid to do what I do and I do it well. People may think they know because were on stage, and we do what we do, but it’s totally different in the bed. He is more of a verse top, but I’m versatile. When I top him It’s really hard to complete the job because he is not used to bottoming. I compromise a lot and take his 12 inches, it takes him so long to have an orgasm and sometimes I think he holds back, because it feels so good and I just be like oh my God. He just wears me out and after that I need a drink of water, and a cigarette. Ha. DBQ: A cigarette, you need a shot. Ha DBQ: What has this relationship taught you about yourself? Envy: You know what that’s a good question, it taught me that I’m really worth something, because my last relationship he was a younger boy, a lot younger than Suki. I felt that I wasn’t worth anything, and that nothing mattered. I really changed and I’m more confident. My last relationship the guy talked about me and

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really just downed me, and cheated on me. So now I’m calmer. My mind is now focused on things I need to do. Being in the last relationship he was alright, while I was falling apart. So now I’m more focused, I know what I want and I dream big. Suki: It taught me a lot. This relationship lets me know that this is not a game. The whole aspect of a relationship is not a game period. When you love somebody you have to love them, you have to love them regardless of their faults, or what they do. Let’s face it, take it from us where jumping the broom here soon. It just taught me how to love somebody in the mist of their faults, because I have plenty of them on my own. If he could love me through my faults, then it would be a piece of cake to love him through his. DBQ: How do you feel about Envy doing porn? Suki: I don’t watch his movies. When I first met him I didn’t know he was a porn star. When you love somebody regardless of what they do, you learn to look pass that. One thing I’m not gone do is tell him to stop, why would I tell somebody to stop doing what they want to pursue, that’s ridiculous. That’s like him telling me to stop dancing or not to pursue my dreams, I’m gone look at him like he got some shit on his face. So I’m not going to tell him to stop doing something that has been a part of his life for quite sometimes. He doesn’t bring his work home, so I’m good. I don’t have a problem with it, it’s about the money. What he does is what he does; I just have to look pass it. He is human just like I am. DBQ: Envy, did you think that it was going to be a problem in your relationship? Envy: I didn’t really care. Throughout my 15 years in the business I have had doctors, lawyers, police officers, and FBI agents that I used to date, and

they knew I was in it, and they asked me to give it up. One thing I have learned growing up through the years, my first boyfriend I dated beat my ass and abused me. I lived with him and I was dependent on him after he kicked me out of his house, that’s how I became a dancer. I said there would be no other man in this world that will ever take away my independence again, you either with me or not with me. So I became very strong after the first beat down, I thought that this someone was my world and he cheated on me, and locked me out of the house to leave me sleeping in the stairwells. So I learned a valuable lesson if you can’t accept me for what I do then you’re not really for me. Like he said when I work it stays at work, when I come home it's home. I don’t tell him about the scene and what position it was done in; my money gets deposited in the bank when I get that check. It’s nothing to worry about as long as I’m bringing home bread, but if I go out and shoot a movie and bring home no money, then it’s a problem. DBQ: What do you want this relationship to create? Envy: As far as Swaggboiz Entertainment that’s a dream for me, but his dream is about to come true, he got an audition with Cirque du Soleil in Canada, and that is his dream. He is 22 he has a lot going for his self. When I was his age I used to model for Phat Farm and Fubu. We have a bright future. I’m not a failure and neither is he. Suki:I agree with my baby, he has his company and I have my dreams to be a performer with Cirque du Soleil. The thing is that you have to grow, and have a partner that has your best interest at heart. Why would you be with somebody if you don’t give a damn about what they want in life, or what they want out of life? You have to have your man’s best interest at heart.

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5 Must Reads of the

[ Books ]

Spring 
 By DaShawn Usher

DIVA by Stanley Bennett Clay Award-winning author Stanley Bennett Clay originally published DIVA in 1988. Now, 25 years later DIVA has been re-issued. The book serves as an ageless beauty of a storyline that is still refreshingly relevant today. The story revolves around Ida Lake, who was known as "The Diva" to her millions of fans when she reigned as Hollywood's black singing sensation of the 1940s. After the suspicious deaths of the husband she adored and the daughter she worshiped, Ida’s career and sanity collapse and she retreats abroad. Two decades later, she is coaxed into a comeback as the star of a new Broadway musical. But tragedy stalks Ida Lake once again as a mysterious web of intrigue, sex scandal and murder envelops the show.

(POS)+tively Beautiful by Guy Anthony (POS)+tively Beautiful is a book of affirmations, advice, and advocacy that also contains photos and essays. It’s the perfect resource guide for someone newly diagnosed or coming to terms with their HIV status; it is profoundly useful in understanding the lives of HIV positive individuals, presenting in a clear and concise manner the next steps postdiagnosis. Anthony’s book is written from the perspective of the young Black gay male, the group most affected by the pandemic. (POS)+tively Beautiful breaks the stigma and sheds light on this vital issue in our community. “This collection of inspiring narratives gives us the up close and personal story of today’s young black gay men and HIV/AIDS. Its balance of intimate profiles, photo portraits, practical tips, HIV basics, and affirming anecdotes compose a custom made almanac. By speaking out with honesty and integrity (POS)+tively Beautiful demonstrates on behalf of HIV positive black gay men that we are here and that we do not have to dwell in shame.” (amazon.com) I Wrote A Book About Him by Hans L Cordova Hans L. Cordova’s I Wrote A Book About Him is a collective of learned experiences when it comes to the realizations of love. The book is easily relatable, speaking to things that we all may have encountered once or twice in our lives—or even more often. “Love is sought out by everyone with different reasons as to why they search for it at some point in their lives. Love can also mean something that's always in progress with the many walls which somehow became part of who we are. It also comes with confusion, passion, distress, blindness, happiness, with either the forbidden love lasting long or lasting just a few minutes. The many roller-coaster questions we all can relate to in so many short stories are what make this book something other than normal. One thing about love is the ending stays the same.” (amazon.com) The B.E.D: the bold, erotic, and dangerous. by Langston John Blaze Langston John Blaze’s The B.E.D. infuses sexual impulses throughout these 14 erotic short stories that are filled with suspense, drama, mystery, and thrills. The book has received positive reviews due to Langston John Blaze’s well-written stories. “A taste of seduction is never enough for the bold, erotic, and dangerous. Enter a world where inhibitions are limited and the hunger to fulfill a lustful craving is needed. Yet, sometimes the cravings we feel are needed the most are the ones that cut right through our skin and leave us hurt in the end... emotionally, mentally, and even physically.” (amazon.com) Can You Feel What I'm Saying?: An Erotic Anthology James Earl Hardy The best-selling author of the B-Boy Blues series, James Earl Hardy, brings us his first collection of short stories with Can You Feel What I'm Saying? The book contains 7 short stories and a bonus short, all of which highlight various aspects of scandalous tales. “Whether it's the maintenance man making a much needed house call ("Booty, By Jake"), a 40-year-old "born again" virgin falling in lust with his 20-year-old former student ("How Stanley Got His Back In Groove"), a porn star trying to stay aroused— and awake—while filming his final movie ("The Last Picture. Show."), or a blind man proving that sight isn't a prerequisite for bringing another pleasure ("Can You Feel What I'm Saying?"), Hardy serves… his trademark mix of politics and passion, that are guaranteed to turn you on—and off.” (amazon.com)

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Spring Fashion Photos/ Felix Mercedes

Green,Pink and Grey (Crook sleeve shirt) $60 by Marquise Foster G.I (Gentlemen Insticnt) DBQMAG.COM | @DBQMAG DBQMAG.COM

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Pink,Orange and Brown grey (Crook Sleeve Shirt) $60 by Marquise Foster G.I (Gentlemen Insticnt) DBQMAG.COM

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Lime green,Black and Brown Grey ( Crook Sleeve shirt) $70 Leather Neck piece ( Chain and Leather) $90 by Marquise Foster G.I (Gentlemen |Insticnt) DBQMAG.COM @DBQMAG DBQMAG.COM

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Black and Grey with Asymmetrical Middle (Runway)$65 www.bronsonjdesigns. 4ormat.com Blue Pant ( Blue Low Rider Pant) Blue Jean and Leather $120 by Marquise Foster G.I (Gentlemen Insticnt) DBQMAG.COM Page 19

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Heather Blue with Mesh Top (The Breeze)- $55 www.bronsonjdesigns. 4ormat.com Red Night Rider Pant) Jean and Leather $180 by Marquise Foster G.I (Gentlemen Insticnt) DBQMAG.COM DBQMAG.COM| @DBQMAG

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Yellow Tank with Pins (Beehive) $40 www.bronsonjdesigns. 4ormat.com Dorian Jihad Harem Pant $45 DBQMAG.COM XRATED Gold Spiked SnapBack $42 POSHBARBIE.COM

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Black and White Asymmetric Studded Tank (Punk) - $75 www.bronsonjdesigns. 4ormat.com Dorian Jihad Harem Pant $45 DBQMAG.COM XRATED Sliver Spiked SnapBack $42 POSHBARBIE.COM


THE LOVE LIST

1

[ ] 5

THINGS WE EMPHATICALLY ENDORSE THIS ISSUE

X-RATED SPIKED SNAPBACK My new favorite Hat by Posh Barbie is sexy and edgy. It comes in a few different colors with silver or gold spikes. It retails at $42.00 Get yours today at POSHBARBIE.COM

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2

Langston John Blaze

Langston John Blaze is a true entertainer of the creative arts. He is a writer, singer, actor and dancer. You may have seen him portraying “Trent” in the web-series “Free Fall.” Blaze also has appeared on VH1’s “Single Ladies” and USA’s “Necessary Roughness.” He has been an improv actor since he was a kid with his sister. “We would come up with scenarios and my sister would end up crying and I would have to break character to find out if she was acting or was serious,” said Blaze.

Last summer Blaze started writing a column called “The Underwear Draw” for Kontrol Magazine. He wrote his first book, The B.E.D. (Bold Erotic and Dangerous*), at the age of 21, which is an erotic mystery thriller. “I’ve always wanted to be a writer, but I started off with art. My mother is an artist and she draws very well. Slowly but surely the pictures started to slip off the pages, and the words started to takeover and before you know it, I was creating my own stories,” recalled Blaze. He is currently working on his second novel, which will infuse multiple artistic aspects into the book, like photography and music for the book. Catch up with Blaze on Twitter: @LangstonJBlaze or on Facebook: Langston John Blaze. Words/ DaShawn Usher

5

Dave wearing the gold Xrated spiked snap back at an NYC event.

Sampson Washington, DC based openly gay black Comedian Sampson has to be the funniest black gay man alive. His new live CD, ' No Tea, No Shade', is a must have in the collection of every LGBT person. For more info Sampsoncomedy.com

4

BILLIE'S BLACK

Billie's Black is my new favorite spot to eat and drink in Harlem NY (119th and 9th Ave). They have these catfish strips that are to die for and their cocktails are always well made. Stop by and experience a black gay owned place to enjoy yourself.

B BOY BLUES

James Earl Hardy's best selling classic, 'B Boy Blues' was brought to life for one night only as a stage play directed by, acting legend, Stanley Bennett Clay. The quality and well seasoned actors casted in the play gave not only a raw and shocking performance, but they brought the relevance and importance of Mr. Hardy's story back to life. I remember sitting on the front roll with Lonnell Williams and Keith Boykin and being wowed and thinking that every teenage -twenty something young adult needs to experience this amazing black gay love story. Good news is there are talks about another performance in Washington, DC. For more info DBQMAG.COM

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What I've Come To

Know

Williamson's remedy for surrendering in relationships: __________ I forgive you and I surrender you to the universe. I put his name in that blank and I said that for weeks; out loud when I was alone and to myself when I was around others. I said it over and over and over and over until the pain of rejection, until the hurt, until the bitterness, until the anger dissipated. Until he wasn't a damn factor, until I didn't think about him, until the urge to check his Instagram or Facebook had subsided. I uttered that statement until I remembered who I was again. Until the self love tanned my skin and warmed my blood. Until I was no longer black and blue; until I was in full living color.

Now it takes courage for me to tell you this story, I am very private about my personal life, but I felt that the lessons I learned were valuable to you all out there who are dealing with similar situations. I didn't share this story out of spite, because I could have read him, ate him, and lit him alive in front of 10s of thousand of you readers but I didn't because of what I've come to know.

This beautiful dude was 'turnt' which means hurt or done wrong in gay language, by someone before me and instead of remembering who he was and healing his heart and forgiving, he became bitter and hurt. Hurt people, hurt other people. Instead of remaining open and receiving all the goodness coming, they close their hearts in pain, anger, and bitterness. They 'turn' the next person that comes because it's hard to remain open and dare to love. In my case, instead of being a gift to each other it became my lesson.

Here is what I've come to know: you must always love yourself first in relationships because many times when we have feelings for someone or want someone, we stop loving ourselves and we put them first. We let our wants hurt us which screws us because we can only love someone as much as we love ourselves and so the pursuit becomes a lie... A lust thing instead of a love thing. I learned to tell myself the truth and accept it. I was lying to myself thinking that things were a way they weren't. Let go or be dragged was a great lesson for me. I was so afraid to let something I wanted to walk out of my life. I learned to surrender. I came to know that you can't force people to treat you right, they unconsciously only treat you as good as you unconsciously treat yourself. He was ignoring my calls and texts because I was ignoring the voice of God in me.

(Continued from Pg. 25) Eventually he ended our dating relationship in a dismissive way saying that he was emotionally unavailable and wanted to be 'coo' and continue our business relationship. I tried harder for him to reconsider and to see that I was in his life for greater reasons but those words fell on deaf ears. I didn't want a business relationship because I knew that I was vulnerable and would be taken advantage of and I had been led on and dragged enough.

The greatest lesson I learned from this experience and what I most have come to know is to break the cycle. He was hurt, he closed his heart because of it and hurt me. I was hurt and I could be bitter and 'turn' the next guy who tries to give me the gift of pure love or I could choose to be better, to evolve, to grow in love. I choose to be open in spite of who hurt me because if I am completely responsible for my situation, I hurt me by not choosing me while we dated. What I've come to know is that if you honor your 'purity box', your pearl, if you protect it and love it and choose it first at all cost, then this war of love and dating wont apply to you. There will be no fighting or games because you will attract to your space what I didn't, which is a person who sees your value and rises and kisses you on the forehead and looks you in your eyes and tells you how honored they are to have you and to love you.

I did all I had power to do in order to fix whatever the issues were. If I had messed up I was willing to fix it, but that wasn't an option. It took my closest friends, family, and mentors to urge me to let go. So I listened to wisdom and let go. For weeks I recited Marianne

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Page 24


What I've Come To

Know

M

y mom and grandmother raised me in Indiana to be a gentleman. To show respect and care for people you date, to buy flowers for the person, to open doors, and pull out chairs was the norm; so as an adult those ways of being followed me. I was taught to guard my 'purity box', which means to always have pure intention and be honest and true. I thought these characteristics would bring me love easily. I wasn't prepared for New York at 25 in the gay world.

He was beautiful, full lips, brown skin, a few inches taller than me with a white smile and a kind heart so I thought. My gay father, Reggie Wells, said he was a simple muscle bound queen and didn't see what I saw, but I liked him. There was something about him that screamed endless possibilities. Our first several dates were dreamy. I did everything right. I bought dinner, brought flowers, asked all the right questions and shut my mouth to listen to all of his stories. I had made mistakes in the past dating guys and had already learned those lessons and was clear that I was going to be my best self because I was interested in showing this Harlem raised guy something special and different. Little did I know that I was walking into a game that I wasn't prepared to play. The rules were different in New York; the values I was raised with weren't celebrated as rare, they were looked upon as weak. Me being authentic and showing who I really was on the first few dates unbeknownst to me set me up as a target.

A month into dating after meeting his family and having deep intimate moments, things began to change. The energy between us was different. He had always shared less than I had in our conversations, always more reserved and secretive. I thought it was just who he was. I knew he had been hurt badly in a past relationship but he never went into detail or explained what happened no matter how much I asked. One night in bed as I held him he told me that he wasn't as much of a hard jerk as he seemed; he just felt he had to be that way.

only known a month and haven't even had sex with. I decided in spite of the random recent consistent aloofness from him that I would still show up as a good man and a gentleman. I knew he had dreams so I began to call all my contacts to help add to his career in the making. He was happy for the new connections and accepted the great opportunities I presented. Yet our connection was dwindling. Then the disrespect began, the ignored calls and texts, the flirting with other dudes in my face, and the too busy to spend quality time. To the point, there were only conversations about the connections and opportunities I presented. The voice of God in my heart told me softly that this wasn't good, and much to my chagrin, I broken my rule of mixing business with my personal life. I ignored that voice and kept hoping to once again see that beautifully special dude, that glint of innocence in his eyes, which I saw on our third date. I never saw it; it never came back. My friend, Pony Zion, said "He wasn't using you, you gave it all to him.

Two months in, I didn't recognize myself. I had forgotten who I was. I was powerless. I was stuck on this 23 year old boy from Harlem. Every morning texting him only to receive a response 6 or 7 hours later, if I even received a response at all, and checking his Instagram for an update. I was pathetic. I felt if I kept showing him I cared then the care buried within him that I experienced before would show up again, but it never did. He responded less and less. I knew he was dating other boys the whole time but I begin to see him out at the clubs with them and the dancing on them and hand holding and flirting made me want to cry. Actually I did cry from being so tired of trying to show a dude my interest and trying to keep his.

(Continues on Pg. 24)

I wanted to add to him and support him. My other gay father, Stanley Bennett Clay, said I was in love with the boy. I disagreed, because I don't believe you can be in love with someone you have

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V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013