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• M AY 2 0 2 3

Gearing up for Tour de Lyme Annual Land Trust fundraiser

History in bloom

Connecticut’s remarkable museum gardens

Shipwrecks in the Sound Exploring what lies beneath the water

All the Single Kitties Newest cat café in Old Saybrook

BIG NEWS FOR PEOPLE WITH HEARING LOSS

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Norwich 18 Oneco Street 860-886-6268

Middletown 198 S. Main Street 860-301-9984

WE PA RT IC IPAT E W I T H M O S T I N S UR A N C E S

Staging Can Help Sell Your Home!

If you would like to sell your home quickly and for the highest possible price, staging your home can help you achieve that! Redecorating, decluttering, rearranging furniture – these are just a few examples that can make your home look its best and be as appealing as possible to potential buyers. The best way to predict your future is to create it.

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E A S T LY M E 4

magazine

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MYSTIC

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WILLIMANTIC

YOUR REGIONAL NON-PROFIT CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS, FILM & EDUCATION

thedaymag@theday.com THE DAY PUBLISHING COMPANY

47 Eugene O’Neill Drive, New London, CT 06320-1231 860-442-2200 www.theday.com

President and Publisher

Timothy C. Dwyer 860-701-4379 t.dwyer@theday.com

Regional Advertising Director

Louvenia Brandt 860-701-4247 l.brandt@theday.com

Editor

Traci Neal t.neal@theday.com

UPCOMING LIVE EVENTS! An Intimate Evening with

DAVID FOSTER & KATHARINE MCPHEE THURSDAY, 05.18.23 | 7:30 PM

LIVE ON STAGE! 16-time Grammy award-winning musician, composer, and producer DAVID FOSTER and acclaimed singer, television, and Broadway star, KATHARINE MCPHEE are joining forces and bringing their show on the road. Sponsored by: Thames River Gallery & WSHU/NPR

LEANN RIMES: THE STORY. SO FAR TOUR

FRIDAY, 05.19.23 | 8 PM LeAnn Rimes is an international multi-platinum selling acclaimed singer and ASCAP award-winning songwriter. She has sold more than 48 million units globally, won 2 Grammy® Awards; 12 Billboard Music Awards; 2 World Music Awards; 3 Academy of Country Music Awards; 2 Country Music Association Awards and one Dove Award. At 14, Rimes won “Best New Artist” making her the youngest solo artist to take home a Grammy® Award, and at 15, she became the first country artist to win “Artist of the Year” at the Billboard Music Awards.

KEB’ MO

SATURDAY, 05.20.23 | 8 PM With five GRAMMYs, 14 Blues Foundation Awards, and a groundbreaking career spanning nearly 50 years under his belt, Keb’ Mo’ returns to the Garde for a night of contemporary roots music.

AMOS LEE

THURSDAY, 08.17.23 | 7:30 PM With one foot in the real world and the other in a charmed dimension of his own making, Amos Lee creates the rare kind of music that’s emotionally raw yet touched with a certain magical quality. VISIT GARDEARTS.ORG/EVENTS FOR ADDITIONAL UPCOMING EVENTS AND TO PURCHASE TICKETS

PLUS!

ANOTHER TEQUILA SUNRISE - MAY 13 BEN FOLDS - JUNE 13

BRIAN REGAN - JUNE 23 CROCE PLAYS CROCE - SEPTEMBER 14

Find us on @gardeartscenter 860.444.7373 x1 | gardearts.org 325 State Street, New London, CT

Layout Editor

Barb Dunn b.dunn@theday.com

Advertising Sales

Rebecca Angelastro r.angelastro@theday.com Paul Blanco p.blanco@theday.com Laura Carpenter l.carpenter@shorepublishing.com Lori Gregan l.gregan@shorepublishing.com Jack Hyzak j.hyzak@shorepublishing.com Kristen Lennon k.lennon@theday.com Valerie Mars v.mars@theday.com Lisa Martin l.martin@shorepublishing.com Sarah Mazzio s.mazzio@theday.com Randy Murallo r.murallo@theday.com Ami Palluotto a.palluotto@shorepublishing.com Jim Schiavone j.schiavone@theday.com

Advertising Design/Production

Kara Conlon, Jennifer Corthell, Drew Denis, Chris Dobbins, Nicole Martini, Patrick Santiague, Richard Swanson, Heidi Toala

Additional Contributions by

Cris Cadiz, Winter Caplanson, Mary Ellen Fillo, Phil Hall, Erik Hesselberg, Johnna Kaplan, Elle Rahilly, Janet Reynolds, Jan Tormay, Kitty Williams

All rights reserved. Reproductions without the permission of the publisher are prohibited. The views and opinions expressed in each article are those of the respective authors and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Day Magazine. ATTENTION SUBSCRIBERS: This issue of The Day Magazine is considered one of The Day’s premium editions. You are receiving this premium publication for a fee equivalent to one issue of the newspaper; charged by moving your expiration date back by one day. If you would like to opt-out of receiving these publications please call Customer Service at 860-701-4400 or email memberservices@theday.com.

on the cover Playing with the cats is one of the perks of visiting All The Single Kitties Cat Café in Old Saybrook. Photo by Winter Caplanson

may 2023 5

this month M A Y

2 0 2 3

All the Single Kitties cat café in Old Saybrook. photo by winter caplanson

CORRESPONDENCE 7 To our readers

IN THE SPOTLIGHT 9 Art In Waterford:

Past+Present+Future

Famous Rose puppets, contemporary artworks on display

10 Roped in

The magic basketry of ColeMama Creations

TASTE

15 Milestone for Mystic Market

Gourmet kitchen & eatery celebrates 30 years in business

20 Restaurant listings

HOME & GARDEN 23 Rug Décor:

Now offering fine art, unique gifts and exquisite rugs Brought to you by Rug Décor

24 History in bloom

Scenic inspiration from Connecticut’s remarkable museum gardens

LOOKING BACK

31 Shipwrecks in the deep

In waters off Connecticut and Rhode Island, sunken Nazi U-boat, wooden paddle steamer among hundreds of dive destinations

36 CULTIVATING CONNECTIONS 42 THE COOL CAT CLUB

Enjoy cuddles and play—and maybe find a new family member—at Old Saybrook cat café

Yellow Farmhouse is on a mission for local, sustainable food

TRENDING

49 A Spike Lee movie marathon 52 Turning pages

The mother lode: books for moms of every age

54 Local finds

Shop unique. Shop local

LIFE CYCLES

57 What if Mother’s Day isn’t happy?

Local author and life coach helps adult daughters deal with challenging moms

EXPLORATIONS

61 Celebrate Mother’s Day and Memorial Day at Cerulean Beauty & Spa

Brought to you by Cerulean Beauty & Spa at Mystic Marriott

62 Happy trails

10 years on, Tour de Lyme cyclists help raise funds for local conservation efforts

66 Get some Buffalove

A road trip to New York’s “city of good neighbors”

INTERVIEW

71 Jonah Warrell

U.S. Air Force veteran

magazine

to our readers

from the publisher

he Day Magazine has been a big hit with our readers. Most of the feedback we have received has been positive both on the magazine in general and on specific stories and features. Unfortunately, the magazine has not resonated enough with advertisers. When we launched the magazine, we expected that we would establish a base of advertisers for the publication and, as time went on, that the advertising base would grow. But that has not happened. As a result, the magazine loses money each month. We attempted to make the publication profitable by cutting back on the number of pages (which are expensive to print) and other small changes, but the fact remains that each month we generate only about half the revenue we need to make a small profit. As a result, after this issue we are suspending the publication of The Day Magazine for the remainder of the year. We will publish one issue in August that will host our “Best Of” contest, but that will be the final edition in 2023. We plan to re-evaluate the magazine for 2024, perhaps bringing it back as a quarterly publication. As most of you know the Day Publishing Company is a locally owned independent media company. It is owned by a split trust. We donate most of our profit to the community. Since this ownership model was adopted, we have donated more than $12 million to the community. When you support us financially, you are supporting your communities as well. You are also supporting an independent newspaper whose primary mission is to deliver local news to those communities. In an era of most local papers being owned by gigantic corporations or hedge funds we are unique. We’re sad to be suspending publication of this high-quality magazine. But the shortage of revenue leaves us no choice. Hopefully, we will find a way to bring it back in 2024 with the help of all of you.

correspondence from the layout editor

just wanted to pop in and say that it has been an absolute pleasure to produce this magazine. I have enjoyed every minute and am so glad to have had the opportunity to get to tell such amazing, meaningful and influential stories. I’ve learned a lot in the process, not just about myself and the magazine, but also about the region. I visited Wicked Tulips, checked out the Niantic Winter Market, discovered local products and restaurants I hadn’t heard of, learned about significant historical events and was even able to share some of my passions and knowledge. As Tim explained in his letter, we never expected to have to suspend this magazine, but at this point in time we have no other option. In the hope that we will be able to bring back the magazine in 2024, we want to find out from readers and advertisers what you’re looking for in a regional magazine. Please send your thoughts, ideas and suggestions to thedaymag@theday.com. What did you love about the magazine and what could we do better? Would you prefer a quarterly print magazine, a monthly digital edition, or some combination? Let us know what you think about the format of the magazine, the articles we run and the features we include. Any and all feedback is encouraged, from things we can improve on to things we already do well that you’d like to see continue. Thank you so much for your readership and for coming along with us on this ride. We’ll see you in August to celebrate the winners of our “Best of the Best Readers Choice Awards,” and hopefully we can get back to a regular schedule in 2024.

) (and Georgie

layout editor Sundae too!

Timothy Dwyer president & publisher

may 2023 7

in the spotlight E N T E R TA I N M E N T

C U LT U R E

Mystic. photo by Carol Melin

ARTS

legendary marionettes

magazine

artisan rope baskets

Art In Waterford: Past+Present+Future FAMOUS ROSE PUPPETS, CONTEMPORARY ARTWORKS ON DISPLAY

a mou s pupp et s a nd m a r ionettes such as Pinocchio, the Blue Fairy and characters from Treasure Island—created by two well-know n Water ford artists, Rufus and Margo Rose— w il l be on display in the historic buildings of the Eugene O’Neill Theater Center during the Waterford Historical Society’s fifth annual Art In Waterford: Past+Present+Future art show in May. Also featuring juried artworks with a southeastern Connecticut theme created by contemporar y artists, the event will be held over Memorial Day weekend, Friday, May 26, through Monday, May 29 from noon to 5 p.m. While admission is free and open to the public, donations to the historical society will be welcomed. This year’s show is the result of a unique collaboration between the historical society and the Eugene O’Neill Theater Center. Visitors can view the display of puppets and marionettes and local artists’ works in the center’s historic buildings and learn more about the O’Neill and its upcoming summer season of puppetry, musical theater, plays and cabaret while taking in the views of Long Island Sound. The event precedes the O’Neill’s annual National Puppetry Conference from June 2-11, a meeting and creating

Marionettes made by Rufus and Margo Rose of Waterford include, above, Long John Silver, left, and Jim Hawkins from Treasure Island; and below, the Blue Fairy, left, and Pinocchio. photos courtesy of the Ballard Institute and Museum of Puppetry, UConn

ground for master artisans in the field of puppetry. The Rose marionettes will remain during the first weekend of the conference. The Roses were a leading husband-and-wife puppeteer team from the 1930s through the 1970s, often billed as “America’s foremost artists of the marionette theater.” They toured the U.S. for years and were most famous for their work on The Howdy Doody Show (1952-1960). The Rose puppets are on loan from the Ballard Institute and Museum of Puppetry at UConn, which was the recipient of the Roses’ collection following Margo’s death in 1997. According to the Ballard Institute, when a sked what they had contr ibuted in their long career to the world of puppetr y, Margo Rose replied “we made good puppets.” Rufus was elected to the Connecticut legislature in 1961 and ser ved for 1 2 ye a r s , a n d M a r go c ont i nued to teach at the Institute of Professional Puppetr y A rts in addition to teaching workshops all around the area. In 1974 they were awa rded the President's Award from the Puppeteers of America and in 1997, when she was 95 years young, Margo was inducted into the Connecticut Women’s Hall of Fame.

may 2023 9

in the spotlight

roped in THE MAGIC BASKETRY OF COLEMAMA CREATIONS

magazine

By Janet Reynolds

ome people sew with fabric. Nicole Totino-Clark of Quaker Hill sews with rope. Totino-Clark sews f unctiona l baskets, ranging from car tchotchke holders to knitting baskets, beach totes, backpacks and more. If you’re picturing something made w ith the white pedestrian rope commonly used to create clotheslines, however, think again. While neutrals do play a part in some of her creations, Totino-Clark loves color. The more color the better. Totino-Clark’s interest in f iber arts began when she was 7 and started crocheting. “I was always drawn to art,” she says. “I hated school but I loved art.” When she was working as a college student on a conservation project in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park—she was a wildlife biology major—Totino-Clark transferred her crocheting love to knitting after being invited to join a knitting group. “I became infatuated,” she says. “I made like 40 scarves and knit six hours a day. I couldn’t get enough.” Later, when she began working at an organic vegetable farm in Connecticut, Totino-Clark

added spinning wool to her fiber repertoire. “That led me to being obsessed with wool,” she recalls. And, as knitters and crocheters know all too well, that eventually led to needle felting, which is the process of transforming wool into a 3-D object, often a toy animal or doll, or a dryer ball, by punching it repeatedly with a small barbed needle. Totino-Clark home-schools her two children and was asked to teach needle felting to other homeschooled children. While doing that, she observed another teacher ripping old jeans into strips and then wrapping them with yarn to make baskets. She began playing around with inexpensive fabric remnants and cotton piping cord often used in upholstery projects. “I had this idea that if I ripped fabric and then used cord I could make baskets,” Totino-Clark says. That experimentation morphed into sewing with piping cord by itself. Totino-Clark’s first project was an egg basket. “I posted a picture on the internet and 20 people ordered egg baskets,” she says. And so ColeMama Creations was born—and has grown. While she is a mama, the business name comes from her time on the farm. The owner had three little girls and none of them could say Totino-Clark’s

left An example of some of the color combinations in Nicole Totino-Clark’s rope creations. Photo courtesy of ColeMama Creations right Fiber artist Nicole Totino-Clark, of Quaker Hill, hand-dyes the rope she uses to create baskets, bags, bowls and other products. Photo courtesy of ColeMama Creations

may 2023 11

in the spotlight first name, so they called her Cole. “Then my kids started calling me Cole Mama, so we went with that,” she says. “It was a nickname that evolved.” While she worked nights dying rope and then sewing at home in the early years of her business, today Totino-Clark works in her Stonington studio at the Velvet Mill. In addition to selling from her studio, she attends fiber arts festivals around New England since her knitting baskets are especially popular. She also does custom orders. Follow her on Instagram for flash sales and updates on her products, and sign up for her emails to be notified of sales on her website, colemamacreations.com. “People can choose their own colors and size,” she says of her custom orders. “People have sent me a picture of a room and asked me to complement them.” Totino-Clark buys her dyes from a Maine company devoted to making dyes with a nearly zero toxicity level. She weighs her ropes into one-pound bundles and then spends about a week each month dying. “I try to reach 23 colors once a month,” she says, noting it’s the most laborious part of her work. To save on the water needed to dye, Totino-Clark tries to overlay colors as she dyes. She starts with yellow and then moves to orange and then to red so all three are done in a small amount of water without the need to dump each time she changes colors. “I try to do it as sustainably as I can,” she says. Then it’s time for sewing. While some might find sewing with rope challenging—she uses an industrial sew ing machine—Totino-Clark likes the solidity of rope. “I like how solid it feels. It has rigidity but is still soft and flexible,” she says. “I have some baskets in my house that are 10 years old and look exactly the same. I feel they will last my whole life.”

magazine

left Fiber artist Nicole Totino-Clark, of Quaker Hill, shows off one of her colorful rope creations, which she designs and sells from her studio at the Velvet Mill in Stonington and at fiber arts festivals. photo courtesy of ColeMama Creations BELOW AND RIGHT Nicole Totino-Clark creates bags and baskets in various sizes, shapes— and lots of color. photo courtesy of ColeMama Creations

Rope also holds the dye well. “It’s really vibrant,” she says. To add additional interest and color, Totino-Clark often chooses contrasting thread for sewing. Any half bobbins of thread or rope ends get saved until she has enough to make a large basket with the leftovers. “I’ve always been concerned w ith being a consumer and how much waste is used,” she says. “My rope is new, but all my clothes are secondhand or I make it. I don’t want to contribute to destroying the planet.” Totino-Clark says having the Velvet Mill studio has enabled her to expand her business even more. “I find myself more productive here,” she says, “because there are no distractions.” It’s also given her time to get back to her knitting. “Now I can knit every night.”

“I was always drawn to art.” NICOLE TOTINO-CLARK

Janet Reynolds is an award-winning Connecticut journalist, editor and content strategist with deep roots in alternative journalism and arts and culture magazines. Find more of her work and contact information at janetfreynolds.com.

Give Mom the

Gift of Bird Feeding Ruby-throated Hummingbird

190 Flanders Road • Niantic, CT (860) 739-7302 • mywbu.com/niantic

may 2023 13

E N T E R TA I N I N G

R E S TAU R A N T S

Wicked Tulips, Preston. photo by Deborah Roberts

RECIPES

taste

Mystic Market celebrates its birthday

magazine

FOOD & DRINK

Milestone for Mystic Market

GOURMET KITCHEN & EATERY CELEBRATES 30 YEARS IN BUSINESS

By Mary Ellen Fillo / food photos courtesy of coastal gourmet group

ack in his commuting days, before he headed to his Hartford office each workday, Kevin McCabe made a stop at Mystic Market Kitchen & Eatery on Noank Road where his order would always include fresh-brewed Illy coffee and, usually, something to-go, like eggplant Parmesan or a Reuben sandwich for lunch. Now retired, he still finds himself at the popular deli and market a couple of times a week, always for coffee, and admittedly working hard to avoid the delectable, housemade pastry case offerings.

Abby Conway and her family have a bit of a different routine, one that has spanned two generations and many, many summers: They load up the car for a trip to the beach, but their first stop is at Mystic Market for coffee, juice, breakfast pastries and sandwiches for a lunchtime picnic in the sand. These are Mystic Market customers’ tasty traditions, and they’re the kinds of stories that have made Mystic Market, celebrating its 30th anniversary this year, a regional success. “I think the fact that so many of our customers are faithful is part of our success over the decades,” says owner Charles Spathakis, who opened the first

may 2023 15

American Fusion Cuisine

fresh, local, organic, sustainable, artistically driven ingredients

Casual Fine Dining

inviting & contemporary bar atmosphere, seasonal outdoor dining

taste “Our goal has been to offer really good food for everyone’s taste and pocketbook.” CHRISTINE SEITZ

JOIN US FOR HAPPY HOUR!

4-6PM WEDNESDAY NIGHTS BAR ONLY

8 5 main “An outing to 85 Main can make you feel like you’ve been on vacation” - Worcester Telegram & Gazette

READERS’ CHOICE

BEST RAW BAR CO N N EC T I CU T M AG A Z I N E

85 Main St. Putnam CT • www.85main.com • 860.928.1660 16

magazine

of what has grown to four market locations, in 1993. Spathakis’ Coastal Gourmet Group, of which the markets are a part, also does catering and operates Aspen Restaurant & Bar in Old Saybrook. “The most satisfying thing about the business has been the way our customers have embraced what we are doing—good food, good service and caring,” says Spathakis, who grew up in Waterford and founded the first market when he was just 25. “When I was younger and in the early years of opening, it was gratifying to see customers like what we were offering, and seeing that gratitude is what drove me to work hard to build this successful business.” The original market location—in a residential neighborhood near Mystic Harbor—and the concept behind the business, was ahead of its time. In addition to “beach food” or easy-to-grab lunches and breakfast fare for local commuters on their way to work, the market offered prepared meals for busy families and individuals who wanted a break from

Charles Spathakis founded Mystic Market Kitchen & Eatery 30 years ago with his sister, Christine Seitz. photo by Dana Jensen / The Day

may 2023 17

taste meal prep, or who were vacationing or boating. Over the years, a second location was opened on Williams Street in Mystic, another in Old Saybrook and a fourth at Foxwoods Resort Casino. Spatha k is, a g raduate of Johnson & Wa les University, says he did not start the market on a whim when he founded the business with his sister, Christine Seitz, three decades ago. “My father was from Greece and did get involved in the restaurant business in New York and then in New London before moving on to real estate,” Spathakis explains. Spathakis initially planned a career in the hotel industry, but his love of cooking and interest in restaurants prompted a change of heart. “I didn’t want a restaurant per se though,” he continues, “but rather something that operated as kind of a deli and gourmet market—like Zabar’s,” he says, referring to the New York City gourmet emporium. With that in mind, he and his sister began building a business and a menu. “Our menu covers a range of prices and tastes, and you can choose from meat loaf to beef Wellington,” says Seitz. “Our goal has been to offer really good food for everyone’s taste and pocketbook, and that is important to us.”

magazine

The rotating menu speaks for itself. Mouthwatering tried-and-true sandwiches such as the Italian combo, the Raging Bull (with house roasted beef and aged cheddar on French bread baked in-house) and the Jammin’ Turkey (roasted turkey, cheddar, bacon jam, lettuce, tomato, cranberry mayo on multigrain bread) share space with more contemporary choices like a crispy cauliflower burrito and a roasted portobello sandwich. Daily specials and menu favorites include chicken cordon bleu, four cheese lasagna, short ribs, crab cakes and seafood and mushroom stuffed sole. As eating trends changed, dishes like vegetarian wild risotto and vegetable spring rolls were added along with salads, homemade soups and desserts. Holiday meal specials are also part of the extensive menu. “We do our best to make sure there is something for everyone, no matter what the diet restrictions or eating choices might be,” says Spathakis. “And the key is to make everything fresh with locally sourced ingredients and recipes that have been fine-tuned and proven.” Even during the worst of the COVID-19 pandemic, Spathakis says he was pivoting the business to support his customers’ needs. “Having food ready to go became really important during the pandemic because you couldn’t go into restaurants, so we were in the right place at the right time,” says Spathakis. “We didn’t need to change or redevelop anything because of what we were.” It is that combination of service, commitment, skill and experience that have attracted new and longtime customers over the decades. “This is our place when it is a beach day,” says Conway, a former teacher from Old Saybrook who now lives in Florida. “We brought our kids here 25 years ago and now when we visit, we are bringing our grandkids,” she says. “And here’s what I like best: The quality of the food, the attention to detail and the service have not changed since I first came here,” she explains. “And it’s the place, the nostalgia, the anticipation of the beach, and the stop here being part of it that is so special.” McCabe agrees. “I think it is about more than the good food. Mystic Market offers both good food and good service,” he says. “And that is what sets them apart.”

Spathakis is thankful for the success and as part of the market’s 30th anniversary year, is offering a series of promotions and events to celebrate and give back to the communities that have supported his businesses, including deals, Senior Citizen Appreciation Day every Wednesday, and coupons and prizes hidden inside to-go meals. With an eye on expansion, Spathakis, a married father of two, says he imagines a 50th anniversary of the business down the road. For now, he says he’s humbled as he ref lects on the success he has enjoyed. “I am proud of what took me a while to figure out and build,” he says. “But I always had goals and I think I have accomplished them so far.” Mary Ellen Fillo is an award-winning reporter who worked for the Hartford Courant since 1971 before retiring as its popular Java columnist in 2016. Since then she has continued feature, food, travel and trend writing for a variety of publications, as well as restaurant public relations and social media work along the East Coast. A Connecticut native, she attended Hartford College for Women and Central Connecticut State University.

may 2023 19

taste | RESTAURANT LISTINGS ASIAN

FINE DINING

PINK BASIL

ILLIANO’S GRILL IN NORWICH

85 MAIN

Fresh, contemporary fare, seasonally influenced. Fresh seafood, steaks and locally grown produce. High-quality sushi and full raw bar. Enjoy creative cocktails while dining on our patio, weather permitting. Open Sunday–Wednesday 11:30 a.m.–9 p.m.; Thursday 11:30 a.m.–10 p.m.; Friday–Saturday 11:30 a.m.–11 p.m.

Our menu reflects the time-honored traditions of authentic Asian cuisine. With influences from Japan, Korea, Thailand and Vietnam, our dishes can transport you around the world in one bite. Open Monday–Friday 11 a.m.–9 p.m.; Saturday–Sunday 12–9 p.m.

85 Main Street, Putnam 860-928-1660; 85main.com

27 Coogan Boulevard, Building 3B, Mystic 860-245-4470; pinkbasilct.com

257 West Town Street Yantic; 860-889-6163; illianosgrill.com

ITALIAN

BUON APPETITO RISTORANTE & PIZZERIA

FAMILY STYLE

Serving authentic southern Italian cuisine since 1997 using the best ingredients, from mozzarella to seafood. Our dishes are made to order: pizza, pasta, fresh salads, soups and gourmet Italian classics. Open Monday–Friday 10:30 a.m.–10 p.m.; Saturday–Sunday 11 a.m.–10 p.m.

JAPANESE

SAMURAI NOODLE

GROTON TOWNHOUSE RESTAURANT

We are a family-style restaurant that serves breakfast, lunch and dinner seven days a week. We also have a large assortment of freshbaked pies and cakes daily. Open daily 6 a.m.–9 p.m.

Family-owned and operated Italian restaurant serving an eclectic mix of northern Italian dishes with the best service, food and presentation. Enjoy a true dining experience with a Tuscan flair. Open Tuesday & Wednesday 3–9 p.m.; Thursday 12–9 p.m.; Friday–Saturday 12–10 p.m.; Sunday 12–9 p.m.; Closed Monday

Authentic Japanese ramen noodle soup, Asian barbecue and sushi in downtown Mystic. Noodles are made fresh daily on site. Happy hour 4–6 every day. Open Monday–Friday 11:30 a.m.–9 p.m.; Saturday–Sunday 12–10 p.m.

355 CT-12, Groton; 860-449-0355 grotontownhouserestaurant.com

386 Norwich-Westerly Road, North Stonington; 860-535-2333; buonappetitoristorante.com

27 West Main Street, Mystic 860-415-9317; samurainoodlemystic.com

Price range Take out

Delivery

Breakfast

Outdoor dining Cash only

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Brunch

Lunch

Dinner

Alcohol served Facebook

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Kids’ menu

Call ahead Instagram

Open late

Online ordering Entertainment

Stonington’s Best Kept Secret

SEAFOOD

J & R SEAFOOD

THAI

THE SPICE CLUB

Visit our brand-new location for top-shelf liquor, craft beer, and world-class wine. We offer classes, tastings, and visits from our winemakers upstairs and in our beautiful garden.

J & R Seafood market is much more than fresh seafood. Enjoy market-made chowders, prepared meals, made-to-order food menu, catering options and raw bar events! Open daily 10 a.m.–6 p.m. 45 Williams Avenue, Mystic 860-415-4656; jrseafoodmarket.com

We serve healthy, home-cooked Thai, sushi and Pan-Asian cuisine in a casual, familyfriendly environment. Open since 2012. Open Monday–Friday 11:30 a.m.–3 p.m. and 4–9 p.m.; Saturday–Sunday 12–9 p.m. 239 Main Street, Niantic 860-451-8121; thespiceclubct.com

Join us second Monday of every month for our Wine Tasting Club & The first Monday of every month for a private tasting of specially-chosen spirits.

147 Water Street Stonington Borough

( 860 ) 980-6069 WE OFFER FREE LOCAL DELIVERY!

SPORTS BAR

C.C. O’BRIEN’S

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may 2023 21

home & garden GARDENING

DECOR

Thankful Arnold House Museum, Haddam. p hoto by johnna kaplan

R E A L E S TAT E

gorgeous historic gardens

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may 2023 23

home & garden

HISTORY in bloom SCENIC INSPIRATION FROM CONNECTICUT’S REMARKABLE MUSEUM GARDENS

photo courtesy of Harkness Memorial State Park

magazine

By Johnna Kaplan

pril showers bring May flowers—and June and July and August flowers, too. In Connecticut, these blooms are celebrated by Connecticut’s Historic Gardens, a nonprofit that promotes member gardens located on the grounds of distinctive historic homes and museums across the state. The 16 member sites feature architectural landscaping that includes memorable flower and herb gardens, walking paths, stone walls and statuary, water features, seating areas and more. The organization is perhaps best known for its annual Connecticut’s Historic Gardens Day, this year scheduled for June 25. But these landscapes are delightful on any day, providing not just a scenic view but a glimpse into Connecticut’s past. They are ideal destinations for a short visit or a day trip, especially in May, when the blooms of azaleas, apple and cherry blossoms, magnolias and more are popping. photo courtesy of Weir Farm National Historic Park

photo courtesy of Florence Griswold Museum

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home & garden

RANKED

TEAM 2022

Lower CT River Valley/Shoreline*

FLORENCE GRISWOLD MUSEUM,

OLD LYME

NANCY MESHAM • HEIDI HOSS HILARY REID • WENDY VISGILIO

photo courtesy of Florence Griswold Museum

At the turn of the 20th century, a colony of artists, lured by the enchanting setting of Florence Griswold’s boardinghouse, painted the countryside from a vantage point beside the Lieutenant River. They often depicted “Miss Florence’s” carefully tended flowers. In 1998, an archeological dig revealed her erstwhile garden’s layout; this, combined with paintings and notes from the time, enabled the design of today’s landscape, complete with elegant plantings, inviting trails and idyllic vistas. The Florence Griswold Museum is a local gem thanks to its storied past and its beauty, which inspired Impressionist masterpieces. In addition to its acclaimed collections and exhibits, a seasonal cafe adds to the appeal. Beyond the grounds, Old Lyme is a quintessential (and still passionately artistic) Connecticut town.

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in the region photo courtesy of thankful arnold house museum

THANKFUL ARNOLD HOUSE MUSEUM,

HADDAM

The distinctive yellow 1794 saltbox stands on a country road, betraying no hints of the fragrant garden in back. Thankful Arnold lived here from 1798 to 1849, first as a young wife and mother and later as a widow dependent on her own wits and family support. The small but lovely garden was dedicated in 1973 and modified in the ensuing decades, using research to determine the types of herbs Arnold would have planted for cooking, fabric dying, treating ailments, and other typical household purposes. Today, it’s a serene respite in a quiet Connecticut River town. The home and garden, owned by the Haddam Historical Society, preserve the story of three generations of women who lived in this expanding homestead through multiple eras of local history.

Photo by Johnna Kaplan

HARKNESS MEMORIAL STATE PARK,

WATERFORD

In the early 1900s, when a summer home meant a sprawling Roman Renaissance Revival-style mansion, millionaire philanthropists Edward and Mary Harkness purchased Eolia, a grand house overlooking Long Island Sound. Their gardens, created by esteemed landscape designer Beatrix Farrand, were equally spectacular. Today, the restored landscape includes multiple formal gardens accented by fountains, sculptures, a pergola, a 1910 water tower, whimsical benches and ornate gates. The gardens flow into one another so that even frequent visitors can always discover new favorite spots. In addition to the explosion of colorful f lowers, the property’s historic buildings are visually striking, as is its natural setting. A favorite of photographers, it also offers the amenities of a state park, with an unspoiled beach, a boardwalk elevated above the dunes, picnic areas and numerous walking paths.

may 2023 27

home & garden

day trips WEIR FARM NATIONAL HISTORICAL PARK, WILTON

Photo courtesy of Weir Farm National Historical Park

GLEBE HOUSE MUSEUM & THE GERTRUDE JEKYLL GARDEN, WOODBURY

Photo courtesy of Glebe House Museum

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In a tranquil corner of Fairfield County, J. Alden Weir earned a reputation as one of America’s leading Impressionist painters. His legacy, and that of the farm he bought in 1882 for $10 and a European painting, was carried on by later generations of artists equally inspired by the scenic rural landscape. Today, the pleasing red Weir House, art studios and assorted barns perfectly complement the surrounding grounds. The original sunken and terraced gardens have been restored by the U.S. National Park Service; a sweet “secret garden” and 4-acre pond make this property a wanderer’s paradise. Visitors are also encouraged to paint or sketch the scenery. This Connecticut jewel’s peacef ul wooded trails and painterly landscape preserve a pretty swath of the region’s rich artistic heritage.

Fun fact: a glebe house is a home provided by a church to its pastor. Even more fun: Woodbury’s Glebe House, built circa 1740, is much more than that. This blue Georgian home, with a charming hybrid saltbox-gambrel roof, is now a museum and the site of the Gertrude Jekyll Garden. Jekyll, an influential English garden designer, was hired in 1926 to create an “old fashioned” garden for the house, which had just opened as one of America’s first house museums. Though Jekyll’s plans weren’t realized at the time, the rediscovery of her designs in the 1970s led to the installation of the classic English garden visitors enjoy today—even as restoration continues. Beyond the garden, anyone captivated by Connecticut’s past will be drawn to the Glebe House, with its collections of period furniture, and to Woodbury, which boasts numerous historic homes and a downtown “Antiques Trail.”

Photo courtesy of Hill-Stead Museum

CONNECTICUT HISTORIC GARDENS DAY 2023

HILL-STEAD MUSEUM,

FARMINGTON

Between 1898 and 1901, young architect Theodate Pope worked with a top New York architectural firm and noted landscape designer Warren Manning (and, later, Beatrix Farrand) on this graceful estate. Incorporating a working farm and orchard, rustic stone walls and a walking garden, it was intended as a country house for Pope’s wealthy parents. Today, Pope’s vision lives on, her sunken garden doubling as an event venue and Hill-Stead’s grounds, with sweeping lawns and miles of trails, serving as a park perfect for strolling. There’s much to experience at Hill-Stead, between the perfectly preserved Colonial Revival home, the American and European art collections, and the still-pastoral feel of the gardens and grounds. You might even spot the adorable resident sheep grazing. Additionally, Farmington itself is packed with historic sites and natural areas to explore. Johnna Kaplan is a freelance writer focusing on travel, lifestyle and history. She also writes about off-the-beaten-path Connecticut destinations at thesizeofconnecticut.com. She

Connecticut’s Historic Gardens celebrates its annual Historic Gardens Day this year on Sunday, June 25. Each year on the fourth Sunday in June, the 16 CHG member sites are open to the public to enjoy their beauty and history and foster an appreciation for these unique and special Connecticut landmarks. Activities for this year’s event were still being organized, but in past years, the program featured garden tours, special exhibits and presentations, family craft activities, demonstrations by local artists and more. The nonprofit Connecticut’s Historic Gardens cultivates a passion for the diversity of historic gardens at distinctive historic homes throughout the state. By partnering through shared marketing initiatives, CHG brings greater recognition and visitation to member sites, offering visitors experiences rich in beauty and history. For more information about the group, participating sites and schedule of activities, visit cthistoricgardens.org.

lives in New London.

may 2023 29

looking back LOCAL & REGIONAL

PA S T T O P R E S E N T

duBois Beach, Stonington. photo by Kevin Laxar

H I S T O RY

diving through maritime history

magazine

Shipwrecks in the deep

IN WATERS OFF CONNECTICUT AND RHODE ISLAND, SUNKEN NAZI U-BOAT, WOODEN PADDLE STEAMER AMONG HUNDREDS OF DIVE DESTINATIONS

The control station inside the sunken World War II Nazi submarine U-853, a popular site for wreck-divers off the coast of Rhode Island. Photo by Bill Campbell

By Erik Hesselberg

ne hundred and twenty-six feet below the water off Block Island, scuba diver Bill Palmer enters the Nazi submarine through the conning tower hatch. It’s a tight squeeze, with scuba gear and all, and Palmer, who stands 6 feet tall, has to lift both arms over his head and wriggle backwards through the narrow opening. A few tense moments and he is through, dropping fins-first into the control room of the sunken World War II U-boat. Here, he will get his bearings before swimming forward through a bulkhead, being ever mindful not to get hung up on the tangle of twisted

pipe and conduit; his dive lights, affixed to his helmet, guide the way through the murky darkness. Ahead, a torpedo, still in its rack, comes into view. Palmer heads deeper into the submarine, and his dive lights pick up something written on the torpedo tube, this one on the starboard side. Brushing away the silt, a girl’s name: “Hannelore.” A sailor’s girlfriend? A cabaret singer? Whoever she was, her duty now is to watch over the remains of the 55 German sailors for whom U-boat 853 became a tomb. “These were kids—18- and 20-year-olds. The captain was only 24,” says Palmer, a former Army paratrooper who’s dived on U-853 dozens of times,

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looking back

The remains of the World War II German submarine U-853, above, and the American merchant ship, Black Point, right, lie about six nautical miles apart off Block Island. The vessels were joint players in one of the final battles of World War II. Recent high-resolution mapping of both sites shows that the German submarine is largely intact, and the Black Point lies keel up on the ocean floor. Both popular diving sites are considered war graves. photos courtesy of Kraken Robotics / NOAA Ocean Exploration & Research

hauling up such trophies as an officer’s leather jacket, wristwatches and even a pistol. Many remember the 1981 film Das Boot, about the adventures of a German U-boat and its crew in the final months of World War II. But a similar drama played out off Point Judith, Rhode Island. The hunt for U-853, occurring in the last hours of the European war in what’s become known as the Battle of Point Judith, is worthy of Hollywood. It was May 5, 1945; Hitler had died by suicide in his bunker and the new reichspräsident of Nazi Germany Karl Dönitz ordered all U-boats to cease offensive operations and return to their bases. But Helmut Fromsdorf, the young commander of U-853, lying in wait off Point Judith, either did not receive the order, or chose to ignore it. Whatever the truth, U-853 fired a single torpedo, sinking the SS Black Point, a nearly 370-foot coal ship underway from New York to Boston, killing 12 men aboard. However, instead of fleeing, U-853, nicknamed “The Tightrope Walker” for its successful hit-and-run tactics, attempted to hide on the bottom. It was a fatal move, allowing U.S. warships time to steam to the area and sweep the bottom with pinging sonar. Fromsdorf’s submarine was located roughly six miles northeast of Block Island in 130 feet of water. Two Navy

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destroyers dropped a barrage of depth charges, hedgehog mortars and rocket bombs, and soon a telltale oil slick was seen breaking the surface, along with mattresses, life jackets and bits of shattered wood. Fromsdorf’s captain’s hat was also spotted among the debris. “U-853 is the only wreck I’ve been on with human remains,” says Ron Samul, a New London sport diver who has also explored the German U-boat as well as the Black Point, which lies nearby. “I prefer not to be inside that wreck—out of respect. That said, there’s something about being there, among this living history.” Once a major shipping route, the area around Long Island Sound contains hundreds of shipwrecks, from wooden schooners to steel-hulled freighters. Many, like U-853, have become diving destinations for wreck hunters like Palmer, who captains the charter boat, Thunderfish, out of Mystic. A tanned and trim 75-year-old, Palmer has explored dozens of shipwrecks in Long Island and Block Island Sound in his more than 50 years of sport diving. Among the more notable vessels he’s dived on are the paddlewheel steamer Larchmont, which sank after a collision off Watch Hill in 1907; the steamer Grecian, which went down off Block Island in 1936; the Onondaga, a steelhulled freighter that sank off Watch Hill in 1918; and the

Volund, another casualty of a collision off Race Rock in 1907. H e ’s a l s o c o m b e d the bottom off Fisher’s Island for remains of the Atlantic, Com modore Cornelius Vanderbilt’s luxury steamship, which was wrecked during a gale in 1846. Because Atlantic was driven broadside on the rocks and broken up, only bits and pieces of wreckage remain, now scattered on the seafloor 20 or 30 feet down. “ The b ot t om i s a l l boulders,” says Palmer. “You’re hunting between the rocks for anything shiny. Once, I saw a bit of white gleaming under a rock. Fanning the sand, I saw it was a little porcelain dish—a soap dish from the Atlantic. Still, you can look for days and find nothing.” It’s been said shipwrecks are “good stories about bad things.” Forty-two lives were lost when Atlantic broke up on the rocks on Fisher’s Island’s northern shore. Meanwhile, between 150 and 200 people died (the exact number is still uncertain) when the big sidewheel steamer Larchmont, gaily painted white with twin black smokestacks, was rammed by the schooner Harry P. Knowlton. Today, Larchmont is known as a “blackwater dive,” requiring special expertise. “It’s about 120 feet to the

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s a n d — t h a t ’s a d o u ble -t a n k d ive, plu s a supplemental tank for decompression stops,” says Samul. “The surface l ig ht cut s out at about 70 feet, and after it’s very dark; we carry dive lights. Even then, visibility is poor.” Larchmont was t h e p r i d e o f t h e Jo y Steamship Line, a 1,600ton side-wheeler plying between Providence a nd Boston. The collision w ith the Harry P. Knowlton occurred off Watch Hill at night during a blizzard, and the Larchmont sank in about 15 minutes. Not long after, the frozen bodies of passengers were seen washing up on Block Island. Most of the deaths were from hypothermia, not drowning. “The bodies were stacked up like cordwood,” says Palmer. “It was an awful sight.” Today, one wreck-hunter described the Larchmont as a spooky dive. At 110-feet, the steamboat’s great paddlewheels, some 30 feet in diameter, loom out of the darkness. On the bottom, a tangle of fishing nets covers the wreckage. “Wrecks are heavily fished so there’s always nets,” says Samul. “Nylon monofilament is the worst. You can’t see it. People think divers wear a knife strapped to their leg to fight off sharks. I’ve never encountered a shark. The knife is for fishing nets.”

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may 2023 33

looking back Another mistaken idea is that wreck-divers are all treasure hunters. On the contrary, it’s mostly your own treasure that’s sunk into your scuba gear, which can run from $1,000 to $5,000, depending on your wallet. To date, Long Island Sound has not yielded any great riches—although there are tales of Vanderbilt’s famed steamboat Lexington, which burned on Long Island Sound in 1841 (with a loss of 150 passengers) going to the bottom with $40,000 in silver coins in buckets on her deck, well over a million in today’s money. A depth charge raises a geyser off the stern of a Coast Guard frigate off Point Judith, Rhode Island, on May 6, 1945, as the Coast Guard, along with three Navy vessels, attacks the German U-boat, U-853 in one of the last battles of World War II. Official U.S. Coast Guard Photograph, U.S. National Archives Places

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“I’ve never been a significant artifact collector,” says Samul. “I don’t like to dig and break up wrecks. But I have seen some nice artifacts that have come off wrecks. Probably the nicest object was a deck prism, which was a glass feature that was mounted into the deck of a ship and the sun would hit it and illuminate the rooms below. It was beat up but clearly a deck prism with a green tint to it. I have a replica, but that was the real deal and a cool find.” Palmer, meanwhile, has a museum in the basement of his Wallingford home. Many of the artifacts

have been restored with a curator’s care, like the German submariner’s leather jacket, hauled up from U-853 and painstakingly stitched back together. To those who say he’s disturbing what some view as a marine archaeological site, he points out that nearly all New England shipwrecks at diveable depths, that is in 250 feet or shallower, have been heavily disturbed by commercial fishing boats dragging their nets over the bottom. “Personally, I don’t like the term wreck-diver,” Palmer says, “That sounds like scavenger. That’s not what I do. I feel like I’m preserving history. In fact, I always say that if you don’t know the history of the wrecks you’re diving on, you might as well be diving on a rock, because that’s what it amounts to.” Erik Hesselberg has been writing about the Connecticut River for 30 years. He was an environmental reporter for the Middletown Press, and executive editor of Shore Line Newspapers in Guilford. His book, Night Boat to New York: Steamboats on the Connecticut, 1815-1931, published in 2021, is available through Globe/Pequot Press and wherever books are sold. top Looking down into the conning tower on the sunken submarine, U-853, a German U-boat sunk off Point Judith, Rhode Island, in the waning days of World War II. photo by bill Campbell left Diver Richard Simon at the U-853 wreck site. photo by peter Venoutsos above Wreck divers ascending along an anchor line in Long Island Sound. “This is good visibility,” says Ron Samul, a New London native and sport diver. p hoto Courtesy of ron samul below The sidewheel steamer Larchmont, which sank after a collision off Watch Hill in 1907; and sonar imaging of the ship’s wreckage that shows the 30-foot paddlewheel looming out of the darkness. The imaging was done by Sound Underwater Survey, a group of area divers and wreck enthusiasts that explores and records local shipwrecks and their history. photo Courtesy of marK munro / sounD unDerWater surVey

may 2023 35

cover story

the ENJOY CUDDLES AND PLAY—AND MAYBE FIND A NEW FAMILY MEMBER—AT OLD SAYBROOK CAT CAFÉ Story and photos by Winter Caplanson

t this café, it’s not about the food, it’s the company that matters—friendly cats and kittens ready to mingle! Old Saybrook’s All the Single Kitties is a cat café: a place where people can relax with friends and adoptable felines while enjoying a drink or snack. The f i r s t c at c a fé op ene d i n 199 8 i n Taiwan, and the idea quickly spread worldwide. Connecticut’s first, Mew Haven Cat Café, opened in the Elm City in 2018. Ca rla Gow r ie, founder of the newest cat ca fé, A l l the Sing le Kitties, first encountered the concept when walking by a storefront in Washington, D.C. “Kittens running about in a shop window caught my eye,” said Gowrie. “I had stumbled upon the ‘celebrity’ cat café Crumbs and Whiskers and I never stopped thinking about it.” Gowrie did not grow up with cats, though as a child, she begged without success to get one. After earning a degree in animal science, she went to work for a large-animal vet and fell in love with the hardworking barn cats in residence on his farm. Twists and turns of life called for more lucrative work than veterinary assisting and

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cool cat Gowrie opened a real estate appraisal firm on the Connecticut shoreline. Business boomed for years but, “Something was missing,” she confided. “I did not see myself doing this for the rest of my life. I was itching to do something else.” A new marriage to a philanthropic-minded man brought an opportunity to reconnect with her love of animals in a passion project. “Shelt er s wer e over f low i n g w it h a n i m a l s post-pandemic and we had the means to do something meaningful to help,” she said. Gowrie opened All the Single Kitties in November, with the goal of

club

finding homes for rescue cats. And it’s working, 29 cats were adopted in the first three months. For those looking to add a cat to their family, a café provides a cozy, calm environment where you can interact to get a better sense of each cat’s personality. There’s no pressure, there’s time—$20 gets you a 50-minute session. The vibe at All the Single Kitties is whimsical, playful and fun. A cool cat mural in the bathroom begs for selfie shots. Two kitty lounges are set up for comfortable, relaxed interactions between cats and guests. Furry bean bag chairs and airy

may 2023 37

cover story blankets abound. There are soft rugs, bowls of cat toys, hidey-hole beds, and the bridge, the visual highlight of the café and inspiration for endless cat acrobatics. Not all guests are looking to adopt a cat. “Some people come for the calm,” said Gowrie, “the cat therapy, positive energy, and to spend time with kitties, and this is more than OK. They’re helping us help these cats.” As they play and cuddle, visitors provide socialization for cats and kittens learning to engage with people. Guests help spread the word about individual cats in need of a forever home. Visitor fees help to support the café. As you enter the foyer and are greeted, you can see kitties and people at play through a wall of windows.

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Continue on to the café portion where you can purchase fun local snacks like Boylan Shirley Temple Soda and Joe’s Classic Lemonade; Sherry’s chocolate chip or lemon cookies, and the cutest decorated “orange cat” cookies. Grab a seat at a counter with viewing windows into the kitty lounges. On display are photos and bios of adoptable cats detailing their personalities and potential so you can get acquainted with them before meeting in person. All the Single Kitties partners with A Chance for Love Rescue, based in North Haven, where founder Adriana Pepe screens incoming cats for placement at the café. Kittens are good candidates, as are cats that can ease into being sociable with other cats and become friendly toward people. None of the cats in residence at the café have any serious health

Owner Carla Gowrie

KNOW BEFORE YOU GO

All the Single Kitties, at 242 Main Street, Old Saybrook, is

open Wednesday to Saturday, 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., and Sunday, 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. It’s best to book your session online, but if cats basking in the sunlight of the café window catch your eye, the café does accept walk-ins if space is available. Each visit begins at the top of the hour. Minimum visitor age is 6. Children under 13 must have adult supervision. This spring, some half-hour “kids and kitties” themed time slots will be added for families and kids of all ages. Although public health code permits the sale of only minimal snacks, guests are welcome to bring their own food and drink. Parties of up to 12 may book a private event. Follow on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok for special events at the café. Call 860-661-6092 or visit the website at allthesinglekitties.com.

may 2023 39

cover story

“Shelters were overflowing with animals post-pandemic and we had the means to do something.” CARLA GOWRIE

SUNDAE’S

fun facts

magazine

ALL ABOUT T-N-R

TRAP - NEUTER - RETURN

Many of the cats that you meet at shelters and places like All The Single Kitties are rescued from outdoor colonies. But not all cats can be adopted by humans. For those cats, animal welfare organizations and cat rescuers use a program known as Trap, Neuter, Return, or TNR. Trap - Using a humane trap, often with a pressure or manual trigger that can be loaded with food, community cats are removed from their colony. Neuter - The cat is brought to a vet, who spays or neuters the cat and gives them vaccinations and other health care as needed. Return - The cat is then returned to their original colony. Cats are extremely territorial, so it’s safest for the cat and their well-being to return them to familiar surroundings and other cats that they know. Colonies that are included in a TNR program are usually provided with fresh food and water and monitored. Ear tipping - When a cat has been trapped and is undergoing the sterilization process, a vet will often remove the top quarter-inch of their left ear (like the black cat at left). This heals quickly, doesn’t affect the cat’s ability to, well, cat and helps to prevent recapture, which may be traumatizing. Stray cat - A stray cat is a cat that is on its own without an owner, but has experience with humans and has been socialized. Feral cat - A feral cat is one that has had little to no exposure to humans and is fearful and hostile. Feral cats will often attack or not allow humans near them. While it is not usually possible to socialize and adopt a feral cat, a feral kitten, if removed from their colony at a young enough age, can often learn to trust humans. To learn more about TNR and find resources in your area, search “TNR near me” or visit alleycat.org/community-cat-care-category/tnr.

or behavioral problems. All are from Connecticut, rescued from hoarding situations, abandonment or neglect, or are kittens from feral colonies, surrenders or strays. Prior to coming to the café, cats will have been evaluated at the rescue, had a vet exam, been vaccinated and spayed or neutered if they are old enough, and received a microchip. Cats that need to decompress spend as much time as required at a foster placement first. The adoption application process is handled by the rescue partner. “Adoption day is wonderful, magical! Seeing families come together with a new pet, the pure joy, it’s emotional,” Gowrie notes. “For me and my staff, it can even be overwhelming. People are changed by an animal bond. Every cat here has endured adverse circumstance, but their lives are about to improve immensely.” Winter Caplanson is a writer and commercial photographer specializing in food, agriculture and handcraft. Follow her on social platforms as New England Food and Farm.

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may 2023 41

monthly feature

CULTIVATING

connections 42

magazine

Local students on a recent field trip to the Yellow Farmhouse Education Center. Photo courtesy of Yellow Farmhouse

“My lease allows me to use the whole campus as my educational playground.” JENNIFER ROTHMAN

YELLOW FARMHOUSE IS ON A MISSION FOR LOCAL, SUSTAINABLE FOOD

By Jan Tormay

rowing up with a family that cooked a nd ba ked, Jen n i fer Rothman understands the significance of those food-related family memories. For the last five years, she has been teaching food- and farm-based classes to students and consumer-science— what used to be called home-economics—teachers through programs at the Yellow Farmhouse Education Center, a Stonington nonprofit at the working Stone Acres Farm. The center’s mission is to use culinary and farm-based education to connect people to each other and to where their food comes from with a goal of cultivating a shared commitment to supporting a local, sustainable food system that’s accessible and affordable to all. “If you feel sort of tethered or connected to a place, you just have more empathy and you have more commitment towards preserving” farmland and the environment that sustains it, as well as the people caring for both, says Rothman, the center’s executive director. Drawing on the bounty of the land and the sea, as well as the rich culinary and agricultural heritage of the region, Yellow Farmhouse helps area schools develop food-related curriculum and provides hands-on learning to kids and adults about farming, cooking and taking care of the environment.

“Oftentimes we’ll do an icebreaker with teachers or with students, where we have them think about a food memory, a time that they had a meal together and what was important,” says Rothman, describing these memories as a portal into deeper conversations. “When they introduce themselves to one another, (and we) have that conversation, all of a sudden it’s just a little bit deeper in terms of understanding either who they are or what their interests are.” In addition to culinary classes and other weekly events for kids, Yellow Farmhouse also offers an eight-week summer program, Summer on the Farm, for children ages 5-10 who work with one of the center’s educators to pick and taste fresh produce, visit with the egg-laying hens, monitor butterfly habitats and cook meals. There are plenty of classes and events for adults as well, like this month’s Garden to Glass program, a partnership with wine and spirits merchant, Spencer & Lynn, which will teach adult students how botanicals are used to flavor spirits, particularly gin, and how to grow botanicals in their own gardens. The Yellow Farmhouse also hosts writing workshops, author talks, teacher training events and KojiCon, an annual virtual conference developed by Rothman for enthusiasts of koji, an edible mold. A s a work ing w ife and mother of three children, Rothman understands

may 2023 43

monthly feature

above Jennifer Rothman, executive director of the Yellow Farmhouse Education Center holds vegetables from local farmers sold on the premises at Stone Acres Farm in Stonington. Photo by Jan Tormay below Each summer, Yellow Farmhouse hosts a dinner called Setting Our Table. Local chefs prepare gourmet seasonal dishes with the freshest bounty from the land and the sea and diners engage in conversations about their role in the food system. photo by Catherine Dzilenski

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the difficulty of family mealtimes. She shares a tip that she says has taken the stress out of making dinner by planning a theme each night, like Friday Pizza, Dessert and Movie Night. She makes the dough and then creates, or lets the kids create five individual pizzas with everyone’s favorite toppings: 8-year-old Maxwell’s with cheese and no sauce, 10-year-old Cole’s with pepperoni and 14-year-old Ella’s (a vegetarian) with plenty of fresh veggies. If Rothman doesn’t have time to make the pizzas, sometimes she orders them. “Shortcuts are a hundred percent fine and absolutely necessary,” she says. On Noodle Night, they might have homemade chicken noodle soup or spicy soy and peanut butter noodles. Or they’ll opt for pasta with tomato sauce and meatballs or ravioli with pesto. One night a week, the family has a dinner competition with everyone making their own meal from whatever’s in the pantry, and then presenting their dishes. Recently, Rothman’s youngest son’s winning dish was sliced apples and peanut butter. “It was simple and delicious, and it was exactly what I wanted to eat somehow.” Rothman says the more children are involved in preparing food and understanding where the ingredients come from, the more adventurous they will be. “The food that kids cook they’re more likely to try. So, it introduces them to new food,” she says. This can lead to better decision-making about the kinds of food they want to eat as adults, she adds. Rothman first met two of the owners of Stone Acres Farm when they toured Stone Barns Center for Food & Agriculture in Westchester County, New York—where Rothman was working as education director, in 2016. Soon afterward, Rothman’s family moved to Connecticut and reconnected with Stone

Jennifer Rothman’s Homemade Pizza Dough INGREDIENTS 2 cups flour 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon sugar 2 ¼ teaspoons dry yeast ¾ cup warm water 3 tablespoons of olive oil plus 1 teaspoon

above Homemade pizza with Seacoast Mushrooms and Tiny Acres Farm pea shoots purchased from Stone Acres Farmstand. Every Friday, the Rothman Family enjoys personalized pizzas, dessert and a movie. Photo by Catherine Dzilenski below On pizza night, everyone in the Rothman family gets to make their own pizza. P hoto by Jennifer Rothman

DIRECTIONS Mix salt, sugar and flour together in a medium-sized mixing bowl. In another bowl, add yeast to water and stir to combine. Let sit for five minutes. Pour water and yeast mixture, along with three tablespoons of oil into the flour mixture. Stir with a fork until dough starts to form. Pour ingredients onto a well-floured surface and knead for about eight to 10 minutes until a smooth dough forms. Add sprinkles of more flour if the dough gets too sticky or sprinkles of water if too dry. Place the dough back into a well-oiled mixing bowl; use some of the extra oil to also coat the dough. Cover the bowl with a dish towel and place in a warm part of the kitchen. Let rise for about an hour. Divide dough into pieces to make individual pizzas (this recipe will make four small pizzas).

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monthly feature Acres’ owners. She now rents the first floor of the Yellow Farmhouse, which is situated on 63 acres, nine of which are used for farming production. “My lease allows me to use the whole campus as my educational playground and it’s a really lovely partnership and relationship,” Rothman says. “They do events and weddings, and then the Yellow Farmhouse is here to provide the educational component. So it’s worked out beautifully.” Rothman says she founded the Yellow Farmhouse Education Center to help people connect to the farmland and the sea. The connection, she says, encourages others to appreciate and preserve these fresh food sources. It’s why she enjoys getting kids involved in learning about food early on—from helping to choose seeds to grow in the garden to prepping and cooking in the kitchen. Her classes help people get out of their “comfort zone” and try new things. When parents say their children don’t like broccoli or kale, Rothman encourages them to keep offering it to them. “Exposure over time leads to acceptance.” She says her children still don’t like certain vegetables, but she offers them every time, “even though I know they’re going to say no,” because one day they might say yes. Jan Tormay is passionate about telling stories through photography and the written word. For over 25 years, she has written for newspapers, magazines and radio. Jan, a Connecticut native, now lives in Westerly, Rhode Island.

top Jennifer Rothman leading a group of students on a farm tour at Stone Acres Farm. photo by Catherine Dzilenski above Maxwell and Cole Rothman help their mom, Jennifer, make cookies. Rothman, executive director of the Yellow Farmhouse Education Center, says it’s important for kids to know where their food comes from. Photo by Catherine Dzilenski right Teachers attending professional development at the Yellow Farmhouse take part in authentic farm experiences. Here, teachers help to build a greenhouse at Stone Acres Farm. p hoto courtesy of yellow farmhouse

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above Yellow Farmhouse educator Eric Dawson leads a group of children on a summer farm tour. photo courtesy of yellow farmhouse left Storytime at the Yellow Farmhouse is often a multi-generational program. Each story is followed by a farm activity, nature craft or culinary experience. photo courtesy of yellow farmhouse

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SHOPPING

APPS

FA S H I O N

B E AU T Y

Old Saybrook. photo by Robert Kennedy

BOOKS

trending

Spike Lee joints

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turning pages literary column

MEDIA

photo courtesy of SCSU Distinguished Lecture Series

A Spike Lee movie marathon

By Kitty Williams

pike Lee, the iconic film director, writer, actor, producer, author, Academy Award-winner and New York University-tenured professor, brought his story to Connecticut this month. Lee, whose work spans decades, is known for his bold and dar-

ing explorations of the Black experience in America. His lec-

ture, “That’s My Story and I’m Sticking to It” was scheduled for May 6 at Southern Connecticut State University’s John Lyman Center for the Performing Arts as part of the Mary and Louis Fusco Distinguished Lecture Series. If you missed the event, here are some Spike Lee film highlights:

1. Da 5 Bloods (Watch on Netflix)

This 2020 film stars Delroy Lindo, Clarke Peters, Norm Lewis and Isiah Whitlock Jr. as four men who served in Vietnam. Now, in middle age, they have returned to Vietnam (along with Lindo’s son, played by Jonathan Majors) to find the remains of a squad member, played by the late Chadwick Boseman. However, conflicts arise as they also attempt to find the gold bars they buried all those years ago. This film invites you to witness the unique experiences and emotions of Black Vietnam veterans through Lee’s expert lens.

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trending 2. BlacKkKlansman

4. School Daze

(Rent on Amazon)

Incredibly, this Lee film, which won an Academy Award for Best Adapted Screenplay, is based on a true story that Ron Stallworth shared in his memoir Black Klansman in 2014. Stallworth, played by John David Washington, was the first Black man to serve as a police officer in Colorado Springs. He decides to call a local chapter of the Ku Klux Klan posing as white in an effort to infiltrate the group. However, when he has to begin making actual appearances, he recruits his coworker, played by Adam Driver, to impersonate Stallworth. The premise is entertaining, but Lee is always making a powerful statement with his films, in this case about race issues and police brutality.

3. Do The Right Thing (Rent on Amazon)

This 1989 film was not only directed by Lee, but he stars in it as well. He plays a young man named Mookie living in the BedfordStuyvesant neighborhood of Brooklyn, New York. He works as a delivery man for a pizzeria owned by an Italian-American named Sal, played by Danny Aiello. As you might expect, tensions grow between Mookie’s community and Sal’s family throughout the film, which Lee dedicated to the families of victims of racial violence.

(Watch on Peacock)

This 1988 film starring Laurence Fishburne and based in part on Lee’s own college experiences, is set at a historically Black college in the South. With the attendant presence of many fraternities, there are many conflicts. There is also tension among the women at the school that culminates in an infectious dance-battle musical number in a beauty salon. It also includes one of the most powerful moments of breaking the fourth wall: when Lee decides to make a daring move, it’s always done well.

5. Malcolm X

(Watch on HBO MAX) Before Lee worked with

John David Washington on BlacKkKlansman in 2018, he worked with Washington’s father, Denzel Washington, on Malcolm X in 1992. That film chronicles the life of Malcolm X, including a look into his childhood and who he was as a young adult before he grew into an activist and Muslim leader. In a pivotal scene, Lee utilizes his signature double-dolly shot—both the camera and subject on a dolly, moving together. The combination of

FRESH BEER BREWED HERE !

this visual of Malcolm X floating down the street and the sound of Sam Cooke’s “A Change Is Gonna Come” makes for a powerful ending to a spectacular film. Kitty Williams lives in Brooklyn, New York, and shares her writing and photography at amykatherinewilliams.com.

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mother lode the

BOOKS FOR MOMS OF EVERY AGE

By Janet Reynolds

y children and spouse know this to be a universal truth: When in doubt about what to give me as a gift, get a book. It do e s n’t r e a l l y m at t e r w h at b o ok (although I’m sure to have a few titles to suggest should anyone care to ask). I will read just about anything. And so as we celebrate the month of mothers, I thought I’d share some nonfiction books that of course anyone can read and enjoy but that likely will resonate especially with women.

Educated

by Tara Westover, Penguin Random House, 368 pages If you think your life is hard and that the future is nothing but bleak, read Educated by Tara Westover. It will help you realize anything is possible and that just maybe the bump in your road is precisely that—a bump. Westover was born into an Idaho family that lived so far off the grid that she and many of her siblings did not even have birth certificates. Her Mormon father, who opposed public education (among many other things) did not allow them to go to school. As a result, Westover never attended school until she was 17. Seventeen. At that point, after working in her family’s junkyard and cooking herbs for her mother, who was a self-taught herbalist and midwife, Westover, inspired by one of her brothers who escaped—because this fraught family situation that included abuse and violence was something that required escaping rather than simply leaving— she began teaching herself what was needed to get into Brigham Young University. She ultimately did, graduating magna cum laude, before going on to receive a Ph.D. in history from Trinity College in England. The story reads like a novel and is inspirational on every level. Now out in paperback, Educated was one of my favorite books in 2018, the year it was published.

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Apparently I wasn’t alone. The book, among its many awards including being named Nonfiction Book of the Year by the American Booksellers Association, also was on President Barack Obama’s favorite books of the year list and on Bill Gates’ holiday reading list.

Untamed

by Glennon Doyle, Random House, 353 pages Sometimes the hype behind a book can make it seem suspect. Is it really as good or as life changing as people are saying? In the case of Untamed, the answer is an unequivocal yes. Like Educated, this book is inspirational and a primer as well as a reminder that yes, you can change your life. You can become your true self. You can, as author Glennon Doyle says, do hard things. Doyle wrote Untamed, her third memoir, after realizing, in a flash at a conference where she was speaking, that she is a lesbian. Her epiphany occurred when the soccer star Abby Wambach walked into the room and Doyle realized in that instant this was the woman for her. Part of the reason her book(s) resonate is that Doyle freely shares her messy life. She’s been bulimic, drank too much, had an abortion. And she left her husband for Wambach. And those are just a few of her travails. By being so open, Doyle is telling us, yes, you too can climb out of whatever hole you are in. You are in charge of your happiness. You are a goddamn cheetah. And that’s a message any woman can appreciate. (For the cheetah reference, you’re just going to have to read the book.)

ging is not for the faint of heart. When those first body parts start to creak and ache, and your memory betrays you, it’s a shock, no matter how intellectually well prepared you think you are. Laughing your way through aging, then, can be a saving grace. These last two books are tonic that women of a certain age will appreciate for the laughs and the insights.

The Madwoman and the Roomba: My Year of Domestic Mayhem

by Sandra Tsing Loh, Norton, 320 pages The Madwoman and the Roomba is well w ritten, insightful and damn funny. Sandra Tsing Loh knows how to grab the zeitgeist of aging for women and wrestle it to the ground. The comedian/podcaster and Atlantic contributing editor recounts the challenges of menopause, middle age, long-term partnerhood and life with not one but two teenage daughters. She throws a party for herself in which guests are asked to bring any one of the three Cs — champagne, chocolate or cheese. She is a woman after every middle-aged woman’s heart.

I’m Wearing Tunics Now: On Growing Older, Better and a Hell of a Lot Louder

by Wendi Aarons, Andrews McMeel Publishing, 256 pages Before discovering I’m Wearing Tunics Now—the title of both the book and the essay from it that flew around

the web among women of a certain age —I usually laughed out loud while reading a humorous book maybe once or twice. I laughed at least once in every chapter of this book. Not kidding. The chapters all play off the “I’m Wearing …” idea. “I’m Wearing Fury,” for instance, recounts when Aarons joined protesters at the Texas Capitol—she lives in Austin—on the night state Sen. Wendy Davis began her 13-hour filibuster about sweeping abortion restrictions. That night awakened her activist side, a common change for women who have, well, already experienced The Change. Interspersed between chapters are entertaining lists, such as Nine Ways I Wish I Could Boost My Metabolism. Number 5 is Grudges, causing me to wonder why I’m not thinner. You can’t go wrong with this one. Janet Reynolds is an award-winning Connecticut journalist, editor and content strategist with deep roots in alternative journalism and arts and culture magazines. Find more of her work and contact information at janetfreynolds.com.

trending | LOCAL FINDS

Shop unique. Shop local. May’s a great time to visit some local shops! Happy shopping! Contact thedaymag@theday.com to feature your product. Some supplies may be limited, so act quickly!

A. DIAMOND AND EMERALD RING

The lustrous emerald symbolizes prosperity, passion and everlasting love. It is also May’s birthstone. Treat your sweetheart this month to a stunning 14-karat emerald and diamond ring in a halo setting. This one-of-a-kind estate find features a 0.43CTW natural emerald surrounded by round, brilliant cut diamonds. $3,895 (limited supply) N.L. Shaw & Company, 50 West Main Street, Mystic; 860-572-5838; nlshaw.com

B. FRIENDSHEEP BUSY BEES ECO DRYER BALLS

Ditch single-use dryer sheets for a reusable, plastic- and toxinfree alternative. This colorful swarm of eco-friendly helpers is sure to brighten your laundry routine. Each dryer ball is an all-natural and organic fabric softener handmade from 100% premium New Zealand wool. Contains six dryer balls in a handmade cotton drawstring bag. $35 The Ditty Bag, 7 Roosevelt Avenue, Mystic; 860-980-8020; thedittybag.com

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C. OLD SAYBROOK LIGHTHOUSE TIDE CLOCK

Plan ahead for shore activities or coastal storms with a tide clock that features precision tide movement and a mechanically animated display, so the water actually moves in the picture to reflect the local tides in real time. Handcrafted in New England. 11” × 6.5” × 2”. $150 Pieces Home Décor, 188 Main Street, Old Saybrook; 860-339-3108; pieceshomedecor.com

D. GRABBIT® SWIRL MAGNETIC PINCUSHION

Add some fun to your sewing or crafting room! The pincushion’s powerful magnetic field sweeps up pins from a distance and aligns them in an organized pile. Its round shape makes it comfortable to hold or to place on a table. Safe to use near computerized sewing machines. $17.50 Shoreline Sewing Machine Co., 22 Bayview Avenue, Studio #91, Stonington; 860-388-1832; shorelinesewingmachine.com

E. FENWICK GOLF COURSE WOMEN’S SHERPA PULLOVER

Stay cozy on and off the links this season with a classic fit sherpa pullover, with the Fenwick Golf Course logo embroidered on the left chest. Features an exposed nylon quarter length zipper and a contrast interior collar. 100% polyester faux sherpa. $39.95 Essex Golf & Sportswear, 118 Main Street, Old Saybrook; 860-510-0655; sxgolf.com

F. THE ADVENTURES OF HUCKLEBERRY FINN ( TOM SAWYER’S COMRADE)

Enjoy one of America’s most renowned coming-of-age tales with a first edition copy of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain (Webster and Company, 1885). Considered to be Twain's masterpiece and for generations known as a true American classic, this rare find comes in the publisher’s original green cloth cover with gilded text on the front and spine. $3,250 (limited supply) Town’s End Books and Bindery, 132 Hemlock Drive, Deep River; 860-526-3896; townsendbooks.com

G. LEATHER JOURNAL WITH LATCH

Journals are a great place to capture your emotions, dreams, projects, goals and anything else that comes to mind. Whether you’re just starting out or have been journaling for years, the rustic beauty of this leatherbound journal speaks for itself, with a latch to keep pages safe that adds an old-world charm. $13.98 Holistic in Mystic, 15 Roosevelt Avenue, Mystic; 860-245-4303; holisticinmystic.com

H. RESIN CAT FIGURE ON BOOK

This adorable figurine offers a playful way to add some feline flair to your home and garden while letting guests know they are in a place where animals (and books) are more than welcome. It is also a wonderful gift idea for fellow kitten lovers. 6.5" × 4.5" × 5.71". $30 Garden Specialties, 27 Coogan Boulevard, Mystic; 860-572-0077; garden-specialties.com

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SENIORS

PETS

E D U C AT I O N

Clinton. p hoto by Cheryl Howser

FA M I L I E S

life cycles

healing across generations

magazine

H E A LT H

WELLNESS

What if

Mother’s Day

isn’t happy?

By Janet Reynolds

he jokes about parenting not coming with an owner’s manual abound. But the reality is that most of us have no idea what we’re doing when those little bundles of joy arrive, and that means some of us do it better than others. Karen Anderson is here to help. Specifically, the Waterford-based certified life coach helps daughters struggling to understand their difficult mothers and how these fraught relationships may be holding them back from realizing their true potential. (Anderson also works with “brave mothers,” as she calls them, but most of her work is with daughters.) The author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (and the

accompanying workbook), Anderson also hosts the Dear Adult Daughter podcast. In addition to working w ith women pr ivately, A nderson w r ites a week ly ema il ca l led Dear Adult Daughter. Not surprisingly, Anderson got into this coaching niche in part as a result of her challenging relationship with her mother. In the book, she tells a story of writing rage rants to her mother as an 8-yearold and hiding these notes in a narrow wall crack. Her mother discovered them and read them after which she beat Anderson and sent her to bed. Their fraught relationship continued over the years until the end of 2010, when they had a major falling out. Over the years, Anderson received therapy herself before discovering coaching after meeting other bloggers who were also coaches. “I went kicking and screaming into coaching,” she says. “I’m a writer, not a coach, but then I saw how impactful coaching can be.” She became a certified life coach and followed that with a master coach certification.

may 2023 57

life cycles Karen Anderson offers these overarching messages for mothers and daughters: TO MOTHERS AND ADULT DAUGHTERS:

“Having a healthy relationship with your mother or adult daughter isn’t about being perfect or ‘good,’ because we all know that’s just one more way patriarchy oppresses women. It’s about being two autonomous human individuals.”

TO ADULT DAUGHTERS WITH A DIFFICULT/STRAINED RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR MOTHERS:

“Cultivate healthy boundaries based on what you value and what traits and qualities you want to embody. Boundaries are not punitive. And if it comes down to a choice between feeling guilt (for wanting to set boundaries with your mother) and feeling resentment (because you don’t have boundaries), choose guilt, every time. There is no shame in taking a break from the relationship to learn who you are, apart from her. Get to know your nervous system and your survival/stress responses and see it all as your body’s intelligence, something to work with, rather than something to overcome or be ashamed of.”

TO MOTHERS:

“Your daughter is not your ‘mini me.’ Shame and disapproval is not ‘protective’ and won’t keep her safe. If you are asking your daughter (implicitly or explicitly) to deny her authenticity in order to be connected to you, don’t be surprised if she spends less time with you, or even goes ‘no contact’ with you. Don’t burden her with being responsible for validating your mothering or ‘forgiving’ you. Do your own work to validate and forgive yourself.” 58

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“The coaching was so impactful in regards to how I was thinking about myself in relation to my mother,” Anderson says, noting that as part of the certification process she created a six-week program that she turned into a book called The Peaceful Daughter’s Guide to Separating from a Difficult Mother. It sold 130,000 copies, she says, and led to her current book, which is an expansion of her initial strategies and practices. While an overlap certainly exists between therapists and coaches, they have slightly different focuses, Anderson says. “Therapists are more about looking at the past and asking questions,” she says. “‘Tell me about your mother.’ A coach generally is more about the future. ‘What do you want to accomplish?’ “Coaching is not clinical; there is no diagnosing,” she continues. “I’m for the person at their wit’s end. Their mother is driving them crazy and they don’t know what to do, what boundaries to set. So much of the work is about the boundaries.” Anderson lets her clients drive the conversation about their goals. “My coaching niche is helping adult daughters who want to have a better relationship with their mom, reestablish contact if they are estranged or take a break in a healthy way,” she says, “[It’s about] doing it in an empowered way rather than from the perspective of a disempowered way.” While many assume that change must be a twoway street, i.e. both the mother and daughter have to change in order for their relationship to improve, Anderson sees it differently. “I don’t think the mother has to change,” she says. “My mother gets to be who she wants to be. If I want to change, I can. She doesn’t have to be involved in order for me to feel better. There’s a lot of freedom and peace in that.” Instead, Anderson advises clients to look at themselves and how messages from their mothers are affecting their own behaviors and holding them back. While some of these negative thoughts are obvious—I’m fat, I’m stupid—others readers might find surprising: “I can’t say no. I’m a control freak;

it’s just the way I am and I’m overwhelmed” are a few examples she cites. “The shame-based thoughts I had about myself—I’m bad, I’m selfish, a spoiled brat and a pathetic loser—these were things my mother said to me,” Anderson says. “We internalize that and it becomes our own voice and we don’t even realize it.” Anderson helps women unpack these thoughts about their identities and realize their origins. The book, which is conversationally written, includes activities and writing prompts that readers can do to better understand themselves as well as their behaviors and their origins. “It’s breaking patterns, being a cycle-breaker,” Anderson says. “Women are taught we have to take care of everybody else, don’t be selfish. If women are going to achieve equality, we have to know ourselves. We have to know what we stand for, have to know what we value.” Janet Reynolds is an award-winning Connecticut journalist, editor and Waterford-based author and life coach Karen Anderson holds a collage of photos of, from left, her grandmother, her mother and herself at a recent meet-the-author event at Bank Square Books in Mystic. Photo courtesy of Karen Anderson

content strategist with deep roots in alternative journalism and arts and culture magazines. Find more of her work and contact information at janetfreynolds.com.

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explorations D AY T R I P S

G E TAWAY S

Buffalo, New York. p hoto by Cris Cadiz

T R AV E L T I P S

take a ride with Tour de Lyme

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head north to Buffalo

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y p p ha

explorations

By Phil Hall

magazine

undraising events can take on a variety of different approaches, ranging from elegant galas in glittering ballrooms to the more homespun appeal of bake sales where sincerity sometimes overrules culinary skills in pursuit of dollar donations. In 2013, the Lyme Land Trust sought to raise funds for its conservation activities by launching the Tour de Lyme, a cycling event designed to call attention to the shoreline town’s natural beauty. “The Tour de Lyme was created to be a fundraiser and to have people come to Lyme and see how great Lyme is,” says Kristina White, executive director of the Lyme Land Trust. “It is our one large fundraiser—we do not do any other fundraising as far as an event goes—and it supports our mission, which is to preserve land and conserve the unique and historic landscapes of Lyme.” White credited John Pritchard, the Lyme Land Trust president, for conceiving the event, noting that he is “a very avid cyclist” and had been involved in other cycling fundraising events before bringing the concept to the town.

trails 10 YEARS ON, TOUR DE LYME CYCLISTS HELP RAISE FUNDS FOR LOCAL CONSERVATION EFFORTS

A group of riders on one of the mountain bike trails during the 2022 Tour de Lyme last June. Photo by Sue Cope

The first Tour de Lyme was held on the grounds of the Lyme School, but as more people came to participate over the years it moved around town. This year’s event on June 4 is being held at Ashlawn Farm at 78 Bill Hill Road and will provide cyclists with a choice of seven trails to travel: The Challenge at 59 miles, The Classic at 26 miles, The Valley35 at 35 miles, The Valley26 at 26 miles, The Family at 8 miles, The Rider’s Test at 26.5 miles and the Intermediate Rider’s Test at 16 miles. The Rider’s Test routes are for mountain bikes and the other trails are designed for road bikes. “Anyone who wants to ride a bike can find one of these (trails) and do it,” says White. “The hardcore guys are doing the 59 miles, but everybody who does The Valley, The Classic and The Family are just casual riders. Some are a little better than others.” And while the event’s name is a riff on the championship Tour de France, Lyme’s event is not a race with trophies and prizes. Still, White says the event requires more than a little stamina. “You need to be kind of a regular bikerider,” she says. “You need to be able to survive sitting on a bicycle for that long amount of time.” The Tour de Lyme averages between 600 and 650 participants per year, and 30 percent of early registrants for this year’s edition are new participants; the event was not held in 2020 and 2021 due to the disruptions brought by the COVID19 pandemic. The basic registration for the event is $75, which includes lunch and a beer; youth participants can register for $25 but, of course, they do not get a beer. There is also the option for additional registration tiers that include Tour de Lyme jerseys. For this year’s 10th anniversary, White says the event will include a commemorative cup and other merchandise

may 2023 63

explorations

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top left In its 10th year, Tour de Lyme offers trails for all riding levels and raises money to help Lyme Land Trust’s local conservation efforts. Photo by Joe Standart bottom left This year’s event takes place at Ashlawn Farm and includes bike rides ranging from 8 miles to more than 50 miles. The rides conclude with a picnic with food trucks and live music. Photo by Warner Swain right Tour de Lyme offers several trails, including mountain bike trails, as part of the annual fundraising event for Lyme Land Trust. Photo by Sue Cope

celebrating a decade of bicycle-powered fundraising. And White is quick to stress that people who are not up for the cycling challenge can still participate in the event. “It takes about 75 volunteers to make this event possible,” she says, noting that volunteer tasks include parking direction, rider check-in, rest stop support, and the take-down and flag removals at the end of the event. “Or, you can just come for the picnic and have a great time,” she continued. “We have these amazing food trucks that come every year—and it’s been the same food trucks for many years because they love coming to the event and everybody loves the food. So, you can just pay as an adult $20, or $10 for children under 12, to just come and eat. We always have live music and we’ll have a blues band playing this year. A lot of people show up just for the picnic.”

As an outdoor event, the Tour de Lyme is heavily reliant on Mother Nature to play along. White observes that the notoriously unpredictable New England weather has never brought meteorological mischief to the event. “In the first year it was drizzly and rainy, and people still showed up and went and rode,” she says. “Since then, we’ve been fortunate in that it’s rained the day before or on the morning of, but not during the event. We’ve been very, very lucky. But there’s no rain date. If it is raining, we will not have as many people that come. But those who are registered beforehand, most of them come and just do it.”

USS N

More information on the Tour de Lyme can be found at tourdelyme.org. Phil Hall is a Connecticut-based writer and the host of the WAPJ-FM talk show “Nutmeg Chatter.”

HISTORY

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explorations

get some

buffalove

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A ROAD TRIP TO NEW YORK’S “CITY OF GOOD NEIGHBORS”

Story and Photos By Cris Cadiz

uffalo, New York, is a rising star of a small city on a big lake. Known as the “city of good neighbors,” it bursts with friendly hospitality. The second-largest city in New York and the western terminus of the Erie Canal, Buffalo has a fascinating history. After a long decline from its heyday as the world’s largest grain port in the 1800s and steel manufacturing center in the 1900s, the city has worked hard this century to revive its best resources. Today, Buffalo’s waterfront and downtown are scenic, vibrant and full of people. Activities abound for the whole family, from sports, natural beauty and outdoor adventures to history, arts and culture. A road trip to visit my sister during the pandemic was a welcome travel escape. A Buffalo resident since the 1980s, she showed us some of her favorite hangouts. Having watched the once-downtrodden city revitalize itself, she’s proud of her hometown’s new wealth of attractions. Buffalo has invested millions into reviving neglected waterfront space on the Buffalo River and Lake Erie. The result is a popular network of parks and venues offering peaceful, waterside scenery plus fun outdoor activities for all ages. Creative reuse of industrial sites—like abandoned grain silos that have been turned into multi-use developments and entertainment venues—is also a hallmark of Buffalo’s renaissance. On a fine late-summer day, we strolled the walkways of Canalside, a 21-acre park and event venue located at the 1825 terminus of the Erie Canal. We wandered along the boardwalk, past the Buffalo Naval Park, which offers tours of decommissioned vessels. Strolling in the shadows of the historic boats, we were impressed by their size and strength. Canalside is great for families, with a “beach” play area, a carousel and a nearby children’s museum. Outdoor concerts and festivals draw large

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explorations crowds; many events are free or low-cost. In winter, Canalside offers skating, curling, ice bikes and bumper cars on New York’s largest ice-skating rink. We also walked peaceful trails at Outer Harbor, 200 acres of green space on Lake Erie. Here, Lakeside Bike Park offers free use of bike tracks and trails. I loved the art installations. At the tip of Wilkeson Pointe, a spiral path winds through pollinator gardens up to a shiny, kinetic sculpture spinning in the breeze. There is a seasonal beer garden with a shipping-container bar. You can also rent kayaks, paddle boards and bicycles, or just watch sailboats from Adirondack chairs on a small crescent beach. A ferry carries pedestrians and cyclists back to Canalside for just $1. RiverWorks is located just inland from the waterfront on the Buffalo River. This 60,000-square-foot indoor/outdoor event center offers a dizzying array of sports, games, food, drink and entertainment. When we visited, a lumberjack competition was in full swing, with men and women chopping and chain-sawing to a cheering crowd. In winter, the competition area becomes ice, hosting hockey, curling and figure skating. On the second floor there is a suspended ropes course. Outside is a Ferris wheel, a zip line and a 50-foot climbing wall that scales the side of a grain silo. There are four bars, a restaurant and onsite brewery. Oh, and a roller-derby track. I think the only thing missing was horseback riding. You could always climb aboard the life-sized scrap-metal buffalo sculpture. The Empire State Trail (empiretrail.ny.gov) is 750 miles of bike paths that traverse the entire state from east to west and north to south. We rode 16 miles on a section called the Shoreline Trail from north Buffalo to Tonawanda. From where we turned around, you could continue all the way to Niagara Falls. Smooth pavement, no elevation, great signage and zero cars equals cycling heaven. You can ride fast and furious (but mind the pedestrians!) or just tootle along, admiring glimpses of Canada across the wide, blue

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Niagara River. We did a little of both, plus stopped to take pictures and learn history at trailside interpretive kiosks. We brought our own bikes, but you can also rent them (buffalobiketours.com). A f ter a l l t he activ ities, ya gott a eat! Buffalo embraces foodies. The city serves up diverse character and cuisine in hundreds of locally owned establishments. Options range from upscale farm-to-table dining to neighborhood pub food to the eponymous Buffalo wings, invented in 1964 at the original Anchor Bar nearby. There’s a burgeoning craft brewery scene, with more than 20 brewers citywide and 50 regionally. You can tour the Ale Trail, Buffalo Wing Trail, even a Sponge Candy Trail. I particularly loved the “beef on weck” sandwich: sliced roast beef on a salt- and caraway-sprinkled kimmelweck roll, best eaten with a cold beer while watching a Bills game. My sister took us to Ballyhoo in Buffalo’s Cobblestone District for “links & drinks.” Where else can you get classic cocktails paired with house-made sausages? I stand with food star Anthony Bourdain, who said of Buffalo, “It’s actually a weirdly wonderful place.” In recent years, Buffalo tourism has been lauded by major newspapers and even landed both Travel + Leisure and Architectural Digest’s “Best Places to Travel” lists. In 2022, the city was tragically newsworthy after a mass shooting at a grocery store. Fortunately, Buffalonians are resilient—“Buffalo-strong.” If you want to enjoy a welcoming, positive vibe, great food and a truly vast array of activities, consider a road trip to neighboring New York and get some Buffalove. Freelance writer Cris Cadiz is curious about nearly everything, learning appreciatively with every story. She enjoys sharing journeys and dreams of people she meets and places she treasures, near and abroad. As a tourism writer, she cheerleads for noteworthy people, organizations and small businesses throughout New England. An avid traveler and outdoor activity enthusiast, she’s always planning her next adventure. Read more of her work at chanticleermedia.com/journalism.

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Harkness Memorial State Park, Waterford. photo by JERILYN DUEFRENE

interview Q&A

magazine INFLUENCERS

get to know Jonah Warrell

Jonah Warrell U.S. AIR FORCE VETER AN

By Elle Rahilly / photos courtesy of jonah warrell

uying a house for the person who raised you can feel like a dream come true. It’s perhaps even more rewarding when you belong to a generation often labeled as—among many things—entitled, flighty and a bit quixotic. However, Jonah Warrell, 28, is not your ordinary millennial. As a young U.S. Air Force veteran who found his own way to a meaningful line of work that would allow him to give back to his country and his family, Warrell exhibits what is rarely recognized in folks of his generation: discipline, intention and a work ethic that is bar none. Warrell enlisted in the Air Force in 2015. At the time, he was working a minimumwage job and realized he wanted more for himself. While many of his peers from Stonington High School had gone to college, he knew that wasn’t for him. He explored his options and became the first person in his family to serve in the military. Despite the large local military presence, the armed forces are generally overlooked as a potential career path. A 2015 poll conducted by the Harvard Institute of Politics found that only 15 percent of millennials expressed a willingness to serve. For Warrell, who now works at Electric Boat, the discipline he gained during his six years in the Air Force was an extension of the values with which he was raised. “I’ve always been on time. I’ve always had manners. My mom taught me well,” he says. TDM spoke with Warrell about his military service and his transition back to civilian life.

TDM: What drew you to the Air Force as opposed to other branches of the military? JW: I did my research, and the Air Force is the main branch that is like a 9-to-5 job. You go through training and do the work, but at the end of the day, it’s just a regular gig. You do the job, finish the mission and go home. TDM: Are there any resources that helped guide you to the

Air Force? JW: I found Kyle Gott’s YouTube channel, Airman Vision. Gott began documenting his experience in the Air Force in 2012. He detailed how basic training would go down. What to bring, what to expect. I also watched gaming videos. There was someone who told his Air Force story in his voiceover. He was in Germany, and I thought that would be such a cool place to go. I was like, “I’m going to join the

Air Force and be a military cop,” but that wasn’t available. So, I wound up working with fuels.

TDM: How was your experience serving in the Air Force? What was your rank and specialty? JW: My experience was incredible. I was an airman and a fuel specialist. I fueled planes and dealt with accounting, bulk storage and lab testing—everything related to fuel. I had two great assignments. I lived in the United Kingdom for my first four years, and then in Guam for my last two. I was able to travel to different countries every weekend. TDM: What are some of the places you’ve traveled to? JW: I’ve been to Wales. I climbed the highest peak in the

U.K. I’ve been to Dublin for St. Patrick’s Day. That was awesome. I went to the Spanish island of Ibiza. I visited

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interview Scotland, Amsterdam and Belgium. I took a ferry to the White Cliffs of Dover. I didn’t leave Guam during my two years there since it’s a tropical island with amazing beaches. That is where I spent my weekends.

manage your money. You also get into the habit of being on time and compliant to rules and regulations. Then it becomes second nature. You see your peers evolve and blossom. We join as boys, and we leave as men.

TDM: Was there a particular component of your

TDM: What is it like to be a young veteran? JW: Not much has changed except I have that

service that you are most proud of? JW: I fueled the most planes over a 10-month period. During that time, I pumped about four million gallons of gas. Most fuel specialists only pump a million gallons per year. So, I did quadruple the volume of what most others do. I was then promoted to an accounting position that is typically reserved for noncommissioned officers. For a young airman to be put in that position is pretty cool.

TDM: What was that promotion like? How did the scope of your responsibilities change? JW: Well, I wasn’t on the flight line working with planes anymore. I was in an office dealing with accounting—closing out accounts, ensuring transactions went through and didn’t reject. It was a different aspect of service. It was overwhelming at first, but once you get into a groove and start hammering away, it’s just another job. TDM: How has serving in the Air Force helped you

grow as a person? JW: The military in general matures you quickly. You learn how to set up bank accounts, pay bills,

veteran status. I get military discounts. I receive VA benefits like disability and VA loans. I used a VA loan to buy my first home. No down payment, pretty low interest rates. I bought the house for my mom; she and I live there together. Got to take care of mom. She raised me as a single parent and held it down for the bulk of my life, so I’ll hold it down for her until the end. She was actually against me joining the military at first, but then she became my biggest supporter. She even has my uniform hung up in her closet. My mom is my best friend. I go to her with everything. She is the reason I returned to southeastern Connecticut at the end of my service.

TDM: What are some things you’ve gotten into since you returned? JW: I’m big on self-care. Working out is therapeutic for me. Running, even spa days. If you look good, you feel good. Going out and people-watching is another thing. I got that from my time in the U.K. I’ll put my phone down and just tap into my surroundings. I’m a big fan of “hang up and hang out.”

Warrell and his friend Brandon Bennett hiking Cetti Falls. It is one of the most dangerous hikes in Guam, comprising seven waterfalls.

magazine

out is important. Create a reminder. Also, if you’re dealing with something, write it down in a journal. There are some things you may not want to talk about with anyone, but you can’t let it go until you put a pen to paper.

TDM: What can society do to better support veterans? JW: Hire us quicker. I was unemployed for eight months when I came home. I applied to over 100 jobs. You think companies would be chomping at the bit to hire a veteran, but a lot of jobs require a bachelor’s degree. I was in the military for six years, that should hold the same weight as a degree. I have skills learned, work ethic, punctuality and manners. I’m going to give 100 percent of myself on the job and I’m always willing to learn. TDM: What brought you to Electric Boat? JW: Electric Boat is a great company with

a lot of opportunities. It’s structured just like the military, so it’s familiar to me. I’ve been there for a year and three months. I started as an electrician and was recently promoted to a production control planner. Now I deal with finding materials and supplies for the trades—supporting the electricians. There are a lot of veterans at Electric Boat. We share and swap stories, and that’s kind of therapeutic.

TDM: What are some of the challenges that veterans experience upon returning to civilian life? JW: Reaching out to people. I missed my friends from the Air Force. You create such a strong bond with them while you’re overseas. They become your brothers. It’s a bond you can’t get rid of and it’s like no other. When I came home, I had to remake friends because a lot of mine moved out of state or are married with kids. That, and finding a job.

TDM: What is your advice to young people interested in pursuing a career in the military? JW: A hundred percent, you should do it. It’s an amazing time. You get to travel overseas, there are great benefits, and you can make a career out of it. Elle Rahilly has a degree in political science from the University of Massachusetts, where she also studied Spanish and Mandarin Chinese. After spending eight years working in fashion and finance

TDM: What is your advice to other veterans? JW: Do your best to keep in touch. I’m pretty bad

about keeping in contact with people, but reaching

in New York City, Elle is thrilled to be back in her native New London. She is an ardent lover of animals, travel and haute couture.

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