Leadership is all about Relationships

By Brad Johnson, Author, Speaker, Education Consultant

While we all may dream of days, or maybe even weeks, where we could just be alone, the reality is that every aspect of our lives is based upon relationships. Whether it is with a spouse, family, friends, colleagues, or even students, everything is based upon relationships.

Since so much of our existence is based upon these relationships it is important to make sure we have healthy relationships. I like to joke that I had a former principal who said we were going to be like family. But what he didn’t tell us was that it was a dysfunctional family! You may have experienced a similar situation as a teacher or even as an administrator as well.

I get countless messages and emails from teachers all around the world who wish their administrators spent more time developing positive relationships with the staff.

I think part of the disconnect is that people are often promoted to leadership roles based upon past competencies. I think, for the most part, IQ also plays a role in being promoted. However, as I have shared for many years, it is our EQ (Emotional Intelligence) which best translates to success as a leader. As a teacher you may not have needed that type of interaction and affirmation from your administration. However, most teachers do need that affirmation and most people do like to be noticed and appreciated for the work they do.

Most relationships are formed based upon a level of respect or love and every healthy relationship needs trust. So, whether it is your students, staff or administrator colleagues, make sure you create a relationship based upon respect and trust. If you think about it, during the school year you may spend as much of your waking hours at school as you do at home. Don’t underestimate the importance of building those relationships. It is similar to the time a coach spends with athletes. I often use a picture of a young Kareem Abdul Jabbar at UCLA with his coach John Wooden juxtaposed to a picture of them decades later when they are much older, with Jabbar holding on to an aging Wooden as they walk onto a basketball court. It is a powerful example of how important relationships are to the learning/ coaching process and that the relationships can impact the rest of our lives.

Finally, I remember my own principal from high school, Mr. Kent. He would greet students and teachers as they entered the school each morning. He would take time to talk and listen in the hallways and the cafeteria. He would stop into classes just to see what was going on without a teacher evaluation in sight. Not that I would have recognized a teacher evaluation form, but he usually just had the two-way radio (yes, this was before cell phones) in his hand. He seemed to know every student, every parent, and connected with his teachers in a very caring way. Even though I was just a high school student, I picked up on the importance of developing relationships with those you lead from him. I tried to emulate that when I became I an administrator myself.

So, focus on those relationships, and see what a difference it makes in your staff and the culture of your school. ■