THE WORD EDITION 62

THE

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Issue #62, Early May Edition 2021

Manchester bus strike latest news

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Equality Democracy Truth Courage

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THE PEOPLE’S PAPER

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Early May 2021

POLITICS AND EVENTS

RAMPANT AND OBVIOUS CORRUPTION UNPUNISHED

Dead country walking

T

he country is on life support and it’s time to proclaim its time of death. Aspiring politicians are using the crisis to their benefit by handing food parcels to supporters.

As any journalist would know when reporting on events in Lebanon you risk sounding like a broken record. The country is a perpetual source of tension and attempts to find a bright side is a mission doomed to failure. Lately, any conversation with a Lebanese turns sour

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The country is on life support and it’s time to proclaim its time of death

if not bitter. Though not pessimists by nature, the blows dealt by their politicians has crippled public morale and paralysed its vigorous sense of initiative.

even crept into a TV cooking show. Chef Antoine starts his show by briefly explaining his choice of recipes depending on what’s in season and with respect to their prices. Gone are recipes Lebanon is a dead based on meat, fish and man walking. The maother, now exotic and jority of the shops are expensive items. Even closing, most restaurants expensive and rarely are shutting down, comfound crème fraîche has FALL IN panies are cutting staff VALUE OF been replaced by the less and banks downsizing. LEBANESE £ expensive though not The country is on life always available powsupport, it’s time to proclaim dered milk. the time of death. The Lebanese pound has sunk by 90 percent The chef ends his show by in the country’s worst crisis saying “hoping we pull through since the 1975-90 civil war. It these difficult times.” A tradehas plunged many into poverty mark sentence he shares with and endangered key imports as all Lebanese. It’s a saying utdollars grow scarce. tered with the heart before the mind because maybe we know This austere economic crisis it’s probably a desperate call for

90%

BUS STRIKE IN MANCHESTER ‘Unite’ union resistance to ‘Go Ahead’ buses ‘hire & fire’ policies continues as the bus workers’ strike at Manchester Queens Rd depot enters its third month. The union accuse ‘Go Ahead’ of trying to use Covid to make cuts to Manchester drivers’ pay, terms and conditions. The company threatened to sack all drivers at the depot unless they signed up to inferior contracts.

‘Unite’ describe the coaches operated by sub-contractors, as part of Go-Ahead’s attempts to run services during the strike, as ‘rogue buses’. The union say that sub-contractor buses are under investigation by the Driver & Vehicle Standards Agency and have been reported for ignoring Covid health and safety rules, lack of access for disabled people, not being able to issue tickets and lacking key services information.

Following successful strike rallies, supporters also attend ‘rogue bus’ depots, to show solidarity with striking drivers. Manchester TUC recently shared a compilation of video clips of violence and intimidation towards strike supporters. https://tw itter.com/ TUCManchester/status/1386016802585645063

divine intervention. Outwardly, Lebanon looks like a unified state, though a closer examination reveals a deeply fragmented country. Many political parties and aspiring politicians are using the economic crisis to their benefits by distributing food parcels to their supporters.

The head of the Hizeb party said followers “will not starve”.

In the area controlled by that party, co-ops were opened and loyalty cards handed out allowing the holders to shop at discount rates. Syrian, Iraqi and Iranian products fill the shelves, paid for by the Lebanese government but never available on the general market.

Several news stations reported this illicit business and the police and the army are aware,

yet their eyes are blind and their hands cuffed. The government uselessly supports basic products that are exploited by greedy merchants who sell them on the black market or ship them outside the country.

Two days ago custom officers stopped live sheep being flown to the United Arab Emirates . The sheep had been paid for by the government and were meant for the local market. The thieves have not been caught.

Shops are closing, food and medicine in shortage, banking sector facing bankruptcy and , education in a state of collapse, yet chivalry is not dead. Caring for each other is still there, a seed waiting to blossom.

By MARIAM LABBAN

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POLITICS AND EVENTS

Early May 2021

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WITH CORBYN DEFINITELY GONE AND THE PANDEMIC UNDER CONTROL

JOHNSON’S FREE RIDE WITH THE PRESS IS OVER

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he unimaginable terror the UK establishment felt at the idea of a genuine leftist in No10 Downing Street became an open secret when Jeremy Corbyn emerged as Labour leader in 2015. The media were almost universally hostile to Corbyn, even before he won a leadership election.

Now, a Party Political Broadcast on behalf of Kuenssberg’s favourite Party The most flagrant bias came from media organisations that

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are meant to remain impartial.

The BBC’s treatment of Corbyn was shockingly lopsided, with reports from Laura Kuenssberg, the corporation’s chief political correspondent, so Tory-friendly and Labour-adverse they should have been transmitted under the banner, A party political broadcast on behalf of the Conservative Party.

Corbyn stepped down last year, replaced by the deceitful right winger, Keir Starmer. Media continued being extremely gentle with Johnson though,

Even the minor scandal clearly hits a very raw nerve in Johnson. Labour is a party the media can do their grubby business with again

reflecting a perceived need for “national unity” in the face of the threat from the SARS-Cov2 pandemic. Even though Starmer was also treated comparatively softly, Labour seldom challenged in the opinion polls in 2020, despite relentless tidal waves of Tory corruption, sleaze, cronyism and incompetence. Patriotism, the establishment judged, demanded a free ride for the Prime Minister.

Now Johnson gets a taste of real accountability – and he doesn’t like it!

No more though. Corbyn clearly will never be back in charge of the Labour Party. Indeed, the slimy Starmer has played dirty tricks to keep him out of the Parliamentary party.

The vaccine roll-out, at least superficially, appears successful at fighting the pandemic (although studies suggest lockdowns have still been more effective at stopping the spread).

So, media are visibly about to call off the truce with the Tories.

even than they wanted to win elections. As the Establishment and mainstream media agreed with them, they gave the Tories a childishly easy time. Now though, with the Tories getting what they wanted, the downside becomes apparent – the media have less reason to help Suddenly, many journalists them. The BBC and the rest are over the last fortnight have re- happy to support the illusion ally attacked the corruption be- of Left v Right in politics, never coming ever-more apparent. It its reality. The BBC will adopt a seems a little sad that the main position dead centre between focus is on how Johnson fund- the two parties, as though that ed the ugly redecoration of 10 constitutes ‘neutrality’, so long Downing Street, given the as neither of them is really casual mountain of Left or Right, and no worse corruptions matter how close RELENTLESS he and his Cabthey are in real TIDAL WAVES inet have emterms.

OF TORY broidered in well under two Starmer emCORRUPTION, years. But even bodies a return SLEAZE, the minor scanto the Labour CRONYISM AND dal clearly hits a right, back in INCOMPETENCE very raw nerve in this mainstream the thin-skinned media comfort Johnson. zone. His success would also vindicate CorEven Starmer, perhaps the byn’s destruction, which they most ineffectual Opposition also dearly want; “This proves Leader in Prime Minister’s Ques- Labour are more attractive as tion Time history, has scored a liberal party!” will be the narsome serious hits on Johnson at rative. Therefore, Labour is a last. The Prime Minister was al- party media can do their grubmost squealing by the last of the by business with again making six questions this week.

Johnson expendable, and the establishment may feel it is past Beware what you wish for, time they tried someone else at Tories, lest you get it No10, on the off-chance they are less incompetent.

For years, Tories wanted to see the back of Corbyn more

By Martin Odoni

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Early May 2021

POLITICS AND EVENTS

THE IRISH POTATO FAMINE AND THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT

CULPABILITY RULES, UK?

THIS WAS A ‘NUANCED GENOCIDE’ N

ever Again Should a People Starve in a World of Plenty’ - The words on a memorial to the Irish Potato Famine, which the British Government of the time made much worse because they were more concerned that the Irish would get something for nothing if they helped them, than they were about them starving to death.

Indeed, when the Irish tried to close their ports in order to conserve what little food they had for themselves during the Great Irish Famine of 1845, the greedy British Government of the time, which was first the Conservatives and then the Whigs (Liberals) overruled them and forced them to continue exporting

it, so that ‘they’ could continue making money.

‘The genocide of the Great Famine is distinct in the fact that the British created the conditions of dire hopelessness, and desperate dependence on the potato crop through a series of sadistic, debasing, premeditated and

barbarous Penal Laws, which deliberately and systematically stripped the Irish of even the least semblance of basic human freedom.’ When blight struck the Irish were ‘totally vulnerable’.

This was a ‘nuanced genocide’, wrote James Pius Sweeney in the Irish Echo, continuing on, that it manipulated fate ‘by pushing a people to the brink of annihilation and then turning away so not to hear the wailing …’

And yet now here we are today, the people starving and dependent upon foodbanks, the use of which has continued year on year since 2010 (the year that the Tories took power in the UK), because the British Government is STILL

so concerned at the thought of the people getting something for nothing, that they actively encourage further foodbank use rather than ensure that they have enough to live on from the public purse, which of course they regard as their own private piggy bank.

Seriously, with the anniver-

sary of the Irish Famine and the May ‘Famine Commemoration Day’ almost upon us again, have things really changed that much?

It would seem not... https://en.wikipedia.org / wiki/Great_Famine_%28Ireland%29

By Adrian Angel

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POLITICS AND EVENTS

Early May 2021

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“NOT A MINUTE ON THE DAY, NOT A PENNY OFF THE PAY”

THE GENERAL STRIKE OF MAY 1926

O

ver the previous seven years, miners had seen their wages go down from £6.00 to £3 18s, and now the mine owners wanted to reduce it even more and also increase the hours they had to work.

During the war the mines were taken over by the government, but after, they went back to private ownership.

Mining was a hard and dangerous job where many deaths and injuries occurred or where many suffered from health conditions relating to working down the pit. With over 800,000 now locked out and negotiations get-

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ting nowhere, the miners went on strike. The TUC limited the number of unions that could come out in support, to Railwaymen, Printers, Transport workers, Dockers, Iron and Steel workers, but thousands all across the country came out in solidarity, it is estimated there were about 1.5 – 1.75 million out on strike bringing a lot of industries to a standstill.

Prior to the strike, the government got wind of the fact that the miners were likely to strike soon after being told about the proposed cut to their wages and longer working hours. To give themselves time to prepare, they gave the mine owners subsidies

Over the previous seven years, miners had seen their wages go down from £6.00 to £3 18s, and now the mine owners wanted to reduce it even more and also increase the hours they had to work.

1926, the strike was called off even though the TUC were not granted their conditions for going back. The strikers were given no protection and some of them were never allowed back to work.

The miners continued striking for several more months, but in the end they had to return due to starvation. They were forced back to lower wages and longer hours so their employers could continue to enjoy a life of luxury on the profits made by the miners cut in wages. so they could continue to pay the miners for 9 months.

doing something to protect the country.

Once the strike began, the government bought in volunteers to run the transport, telling them the strikers were revolutionary. The volunteers were mainly middle class university students etc who looked down on the strikers. In their minds the volunteers believed they were

The government also bought special constables and soldiers who drove the lorry’s transporting things from the docs in London.

On the 12th of May

The miners in 1926 were told to accept lower wages and have to work longer hours or they would lose their job.

Now days, workers such as Go ahead bus drivers, British gas are being told to accept lower wages and poorer working conditions or lose their job.

THIS WEEK IN HISTORY - MONDAY 3RD – 10TH MAY 3rd of May 1919 – Birth of Pete Seeger, American left wing activist along with singer/songwriter and guitarist. He died in 2014 1921 - Ireland is partitioned into two. North and South after the government act of 1920 is passed.

4th May 1962 – Atmospheric nuclear tests were performed on Christmas Island by the United States.

2000 – Ken Livingstone becomes the first mayor of London 5th May 1818 - Birth of Carl Marx in Treves, Germany 1867 – Birth of American Nel-

lie Bly, Social reformer, human rights advocate and journalist

6 May 1954 – Roger Bannister in the UK was the first man to run a mile in under 4 minutes.

1979 – Thousands march in America against the building of more nuclear power plants th

7th May 1920 – Morecombe Football Club is founded.

1956 – The British Health Minister, RH Turton says there are no health risks related to cigarettes and so refuses to put a government anti smoking campaign in place.

1971 – Concord takes a 75 minute publicity flight to Toulouse with the French president on board. Concord was the world’s first faster than sound passenger aeroplane.

8th May 1924 – In Werkspoor Am-

sterdam, workers strike against a third cut in their wages.

1933 – Mahatma Gandhi holds a 21 day strike against the British Oppression in India.

1967 – Muhammad Ali is indicted for refusing to join the army to fight in Vietnam.

9th May 1859 – Birth of Abolitionist leader John Brown.

1974 – Watergate Scandal.

Formal and public impeachment

hearings regarding Richard Nixon begin.

president

10th May 1994 – Nelson Mandela becomes president of South Africa with the first free election despite various political attempts to stop him.

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Early May 2021

POLITICS AND EVENTS

BEST OF THE WEB

UK spy agencies Two UK intelligence agencies are actively recruiting “neurodiverse” individuals and tech wizards – in the moulds of iconic code-breaker Alan Turing and James Bond’s ‘Q’, respectively – to tackle emerging cyber-security challenges.

The Secret Intelligence Service, better known as MI6, has put out a job advert for a “Director General Q” to lead a team of boffins that turn “disruptive technologies from threats to our operations into opportunities” to help with its mission against the country’s “hardest adversaries.”

The successful candidate, who will not be “publicly avowed,” will answer to MI6 chief Richard Moore – who

apparently goes by the letter ‘C’ and not ‘M’. Over the past week, Moore took to radio and social media to pitch the vacancy, which is less about exploding pens than might be expected.

Officer jailed for terrorism offence Benjamin Hannam, 22, has been sentenced to four years and four months in prison after becoming the first UK police officer to be convicted of a terrorism offence over his membership of a banned neoNazi group.

The now former Met Police officer had been a member of National Action (NA), an outlawed neo-Nazi group in the United Kingdom, prior to joining the police force, with footage showing him spraying the group’s logo on a wall weeks before submitting his application to join the force.

Hannam was found guilty on April 1 of two counts of fraud, for lying on his police application about his membership of an outlawed far-right group, and two counts of possessing documents useful to a terrorist, including the ‘manifesto’ of Anders Behring Breivik, who murdered 77 people in a 2011 extremist attack in Norway.

He was able to join the Metropolitan Police in July 2017, beginning training in March 2018 and passing out in 2019, clearing the vetting checks required during the application p r o c e s s .

Hannam’s membership of the group was exposed when data from a farright forum was leaked online by an anti-fascist group.

Actor Noel Clarke stripped of Bafta honours Acclaimed British actor and film maker Noel Clarke has been accused by several women of being a serial sexual predator, who has been abusing his professional position of power to harass subordinates. He denies the accusations.

Covid-19 passport for travelling abroad set to be ready

by May The UK plans to roll out certificates to act as proof of Covid-19 vaccination and testing status so that people from England can travel abroad freely from May 17, as Europe

gets ready to welcome British tourists.

Parliamentary UnderSecretary of State for Covid-19 Vaccine Deployment, Nadhim Zahawi ,told BBC Breakfast that a number of foreign nations are requesting some form of Covid-19 certification, which can be proof of vaccination or a negative test result.

Netanyahu says stampede one of Israel’s ‘worst disasters’

A stampede that caused the deaths of at least 45 people at a Jewish pilgrimage site was one of the “worst” disasters in his country’s historyIsraeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has said.

The incident occurred in Meron at the site of the reputed tomb of Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai, a second-century Talmudic sage, where mainly ultra-Orthodox Jews flock to mark the Lag BaOmer holiday.

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POLITICS AND EVENTS

Early May 2021

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IN THE THICK OF IT - THE DIARY OF ALAN DUNCAN (2021).

TOO THICK TO CARE

G

ossip is great. Gossip is wonderful. Gossip informs us. But of what?

I now know what it is like to ,stay up into the small hours banqueting in Oman. and

An Innocent Man Dear Julian Just a line to let you know we’ve not forgotten you. Our letters to you are getting published in The Word and also being sent around the internet.

A corrupt society it is when an innocent man is locked up for releasing the truth while an entire government lies every hour yet remains in power.

Stay strong old friend The Word Media

aware of a long list of former colleagues that are entered in Duncan’s ‘To Be Slagged Off’ Category. And slag them off he does, big time.

But, after the satisfaction of LEFTY. Worse, you are a Marxist! reading what he has to say about Patel and company, what else is Duncan was integral to there to learn from this memoir? the ‘sensible’ wing of the My awareness that THE Conservative Party. He could fix referendum was an internal things. He could do detail.

Tory fight between the He was liked and had party’s UKIP wing useful connections.

EXPRESS and the ‘sensibles’ that is why A DESIRE FOR Perhaps has merely been he never got, what EQUALITY, EVEN confirmed. I am he clearly wanted, JU ST A BIT OF IT, a top job. That now, more than AND YOU ARE ever, frightened is a theme of the for the future diary. “Why have LABELLED A because Duncan all the fools been LEFTY has described so well promoted over me?” the sheer incompetent lunacy of Boris and his chums.

His celebration of the arrest But what stands out for me is of Assange was sickening. And that even the ‘sensible’ wing his belief that Venezuela ought of the Tory Party, at least as to be happy to serve the interests represented by Duncan, are of the USA was disturbing. He driven by prejudice. Express a really does want, both at home desire for equality, even just a and abroad, an ordered society bit of it, and you are labelled a in which the powerful remain

powerful, but do it nicely. He has, however, a redeeming feature.

He is extremely critical of Israel’s treatment of the indigenous people of Palestine.

Happy to have finished the book.

By Cliff Jones

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Early May 2021

POLITICS AND EVENTS

TRANSFORMING MENTAL HEALTHCARE IN BASSETLAW?

DIVESTMENT not investment in Bassetlaw

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he Mansfield Chad in November 2021 published an article about a £30m ‘investment’ in local mental health care. It described how Nottinghamshire Healthcare purchased the old St Andrew’s Hospital site for redevelopment and streamline services at the Millbrook Unit.

The new site, renamed Sherwood Oaks is to provide 72 beds for adult mental health services, compared to the 43 at Millbrook. The article coincided with a news release from Nottinghamshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust.

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THERE ARE NO DIRECT PUBLIC TRANSPORT LINKS BETW BASSETLAW AEEN N MANSFIELD D

Transforming mental healthcare in Bassetlaw?

Early in 2021, the Trust released a statement that made the first public mention of transferring inpatient services from Bassetlaw. Instead of 29 beds being added to Mansfield, this would mean an addition of only three beds after including the 26 beds removed from Bassetlaw.

On 12 February 2021, Bassetlaw Clinical Commissioning Group (CCG) issued a statement asking for views. It provided a link to a survey about the move.

We asked the three major local political parties, but they did not reply to our request for co-operation.

Our campaign consists of local branches of Unite the Union, Keep Our NHS Public (KONP) and the Trades Council. We are fighting to stop this move, and invest in Bassetlaw. We asked the three major local political parties,

LEGAL VICTORY FOR Lincolnshire campaign The recent succesful Judicial Review outcome in the case of Jayne Dawson v. United Lincolnshire Hospital Trust (ULHT) is a welcome vindication of the concerns of Jayne Dawson, and other local people reliant on Grantham and District Hospital, whose outpatient, inpatient and A&E services were snatched from them in June last year.

At that time, in response to the pandemic, ULHT decided to make Grantham & District Hospital a Covid-19 free only ‘Green site’. The controversial decision, was made by a Hospital Trust board already in ‘special measures’ The judgement was clear, that under no circumstances, even a pandemic, is it legal to make key decisions about health services without proper consultion.

Whilst the judge believes action was taken in good faith, neither adequate time nor sufficient information were provided by

ULHT to the community. Nor were we given an opportunity to influence the decision to turn Grantham into a ‘green’ site in the first place. This decision had a huge impact on the 120,000 people.

Inpatients and outpatients from the Grantham and District Hospital catchment area (which includes Sleaford, Newark, Melton Mowbray) found the doors to the hospital closed virtually overnight.

Thousands were displaced and forced to travel to other sites including Nottingham and Peterborough for care. This judgement should make all hospital trusts sit up and listen.

Our call for A&E 24/7 also remains. That was removed in August 2016 by ULHT without public consultation at 2 weeks notice. This outcome brings into question the legality of that decision too.

By Councillor Charmaine Morgan / Chair SOSGH

but they did not reply to our request for co-operation.

A major reason for opposing this move is the journey time for patients’ families and friends to visit. There are no direct

public transport links between Bassetlaw and Mansfield. It requires at least two changes, and takes a minimum of 2 hours one way. This journey will be much more difficult if a visitor lives where there are irregular, if any, public transport services.

Another Unite member and I attempted the outwards journey from a local village. It took 2 hours and 53 minutes.

We have a Facebook page and a Twitter feed.

By Ian Ampleford / Save Bassetlaw Mental Health Services

CRUCIAL ACUTE UNIT IN DANGER OF EXTINCTION The Jules Thorn Acute Day Unit in Camden is an invaluable service for people struggling with mental health issues. I have known about the centre for a long time, but came to need it towards the end of 2019.

It held me through a suicidal patch, and I got to learn a little Art: being kinda useless in that skill, I found just doing it therapeutic. Then there were groups like “Tree of Life” and Yoga: all good stuff for people suffering varying existential collapses in these dark times.

So it was to my astonishment, when my good friend, Claudia D raised the alarm to say it was to be closed down. The word on the street was different to the official word, which of course said “CV-19” was the reason. The Website of Camden and Islington MH Trust still writes that it is a temporary closure... but the Camden New Journal discovered that is not the case (please look up their article on-line for more info).

Many of us are aware of the constant redevelopment of the NHS, the increasing take over by a handful of private, often American healthcare companies, and so frankly, we fear more of the same with this precious resource. But of course, we can’t trust our government either, so no point in asking them.

It is now more crucial than ever to protect all the (public) services we have, and to create more of them.

By Andria EM / North London campaigner

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POLITICS AND EVENTS

Early May 2021

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NATION’S JUDGED BY HOW IT TREATS THE WEAKEST

£20 MORE FOR ALL A

fter considerable pressure, Rishi Sunak’s Budget 2021 announced that the £20 Uplift to Universal Credit, introduced in March last year to help benefit claimants cope with the extra costs associated with the lockdown, was to be extended for a further six months.

What he didn’t do, yet again, was to extend that same uplift and consideration to the 2.2 million people on Legacy Benefits, three quarters of whom are disabled people.

Yet again his budget failed to provide for our ‘weakest members’: disabled people and the poorest amongst us. Leaving people freezing, hungry, unable to afford care, incontinence pads, medicines, etc.

Once again the £20 uplift, was being unjustly refused and denied to the poorest claimants.

Denied to the very people already being hit the hardest. Not just by the Coronavirus pandemic, in which, according to the ONS, a

disproportionate 6:10 Covid-19 deaths in England are disabled people, but hit by increased disability related expenditure and costs, which mean disabled people are already twice as likely to live in poverty. Hit repeatedly by a decade of oppressive austerity, brutal welfare reforms and cuts that kill. Hit by what the UN called “grave and systematic human rights violations” of disabled people and deliberate, deadly policies and “political choices”.

All of which, according to figures from the British Medical Journal and the Institute of Public Policy Research, had already resulted in 250,000 extra, avoidable, preventable deaths.

250,000 deaths prior to 2020 and the use of the ‘pandemic’ to further impoverish, cut and cull.

DPAC has been raising the alarm for a decade: Cuts Kill and Dead People Don’t Claim.

Rishi Sunak’s refusal to accord disabled people the same

£20 uplift to benefits as those on Universal Credit, is unjust and unfair, but it comes as no surprise.

Disabled people have been consistently failed, marginalised, othered and excluded by successive Governments. The current UK Government’s policies has intensified the public, political and media fuelled negative attitudes that see and portray disabled people as a burden and as a drain, and their lives as somehow worth less than those of others.

Responding to the coalition Government’s austerity, privatisation, closures and armoury of cuts to services and benefits, in their war against disabled people and the poorest in the nation, DPAC – Disabled People Against Cuts, was formed in 2010. To fight the cuts being brought in under the lie of ‘austerity’. In the first 5 years of which, Britain doubled the number of billionaires and saw the unconscionable

benefit entitlements and shredding the safety net meant to ensure that no one is left hungry, homeless or dependent on charity, donations or foodbanks to meet their basic human rights, we are all being failed.

normalisation of ‘Foodbanks’, hunger, malnutrition, ‘benefit deaths’ and ‘deaths on our streets’ and of escalating poverty, debt, homelessness and inequality.

But this is not just about disabled people or benefit claimants, it is about all of us. An injustice to one, is an injustice to us all, was never truer. This Government is in Breach Of Contract, with us all.

In denying equality and

The Second Vaccination The long awaited second vaccination happened to me on Saturday.

I know there are people who believe the whole vax, masking, social distancing and lock-down to be little short of a hoax, and I respect their opinions.

I’m still marked by two of out three children suffering from Covid and having not properly recovered, one after 12 months, and the other after five. I’m also grieving the way in which our

third left home after his older brother and sister effectively put their mum and me into a shielding situation. Sacrifices have been made and I’m not going to mess it up at this stage.

I’m extremely vulnerable, my immune system is compromised, and my next birthday is my seventieth. So when I got the call, I booked the earliest appointment available to me which was 12.40 pm. I’d previously seen the queues going all the way back to

Sainsbury’s at the roundabout, and knew I’d not be able to stand there for any length of time without at least two trips to the toilet.

Therefore my wife hatched a plan. She told me to get there as the doors opened, and blag it.

At 9.30am, there were no patients, and I was waved into a room next to the open outside door and asked my details They couldn’t find me on the list.

What time was my appointment.

I blagged it.

“Probably later in the day but I cannot queue without a toilet nearby.”

“We get through the queues very quickly, and we have toilets here.”

By then I could see speaking

The contract is simple: we all pay in, in the form of taxes and national insurance contributions, and the Government pays out, for any and all of us, in our time of need, from cradle to grave, should disability, redundancy, parenthood, education, unemployment, care responsibilities, old age, accident, pandemics, funerals, etc., result in a need for assistance.

We as a nation can choose not to fail each other. We can choose justice and fairness and dignity and equality for all, not just the few. Join and add your support for DPAC’s campaign. Spread the word: #£20More4ALL. www. dpac.uk.net

By Mary Ellen was unnecessary, she was preparing to insert the needle into my upper arm, and I’d preempted the whole thing by taking off half of my hoody. In went the vaccine, and out of the door went I with a little card saying I’d been done. It feels like a certificate of achievement.

Have I wasted my time? Will the variants get me? Should I have just walked around like a number of others disbelieving in Covid? I expect I’ll never know.

Please don’t judge me and I’ll try not to judge you.

Patient.I

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Early May 2021

POLITICS AND EVENTS

THEY SPENT A GREAT DEAL OF MONEY TO GET THIS RESULT

I

’m glad the man who murdered George Floyd has been convicted. But let’s not kid ourselves, this does not signify a new dawn.

The Minnesota Attorney General disclosed that they prosecuted this case in a way they have never done against police officers accused of similar crimes in the past.

They called experts of all types as witnesses, which they never do in ‘normal’ circumstances. They spent a great deal of money to get this result.

Also, the wall of silence that is typical from police officers opened up and officers gave evidence for the prosecution. They unusually made a decision to rid themselves of a ‘bad apple’ in order to protect the whole barrel.

The reality is the state had to find this man guilty because of the glare of global publicity generated by BLM.

No New Dawn

The US criminal justice system was on trial and it needed to find itself not guilty through a guilty verdict. But normal service will be resumed now the world’s media has gone home. Officers will once again kill black and brown people with impunity.

The reality is, the only thing that has changed since the Rodney King trial is the quality of the video and we all carry a video recorder. That and social media is why we are here now. This is not a new dawn. It’s still midnight and very, very dark out there.

By Ed Hunter

Money Comes Home to Rishi Within 12 months more than 98% of public spending returns to the treasury as taxation.

The rest sits in pockets, gets put in contingency tins, or is otherwise hidden.

Where does it come from? It’s just “issued” in the firm knowledge that it will return.

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IT’S JUST “ISSUED” IN THE FIRM KNOWLEDGE THAT IT WILL RETURN

This has been true for the UK since Gordon

Taxpayers’ money was a term and a fallacy actually invented by Thatcher

Brown took us off the gold standard, and applies to all sovereign currencies such as those of USA, New Zealand, Canada, Australia, but not EU Countries.

Rapid Inflation doesn’t result so long as there are things to purchase with that money - usually goods and services. The labour of unemployed workers counts as an unpurchased resource.

And all UK finance ministers know all of this despite fake chat about “taxpayers’ money” a term and a fallacy actually invented by Thatcher.

By Ed Case

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Early May 2021

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IT’S ALL ABOUT SINGERS - THE INFAMOUS AND TRAGIC 27 CLUB

ON THE JUKEBOX TONITE! T

here is a notional “club” or list of celebrities and performers who have died at any given age from 20 to 99, but somehow the 27 club has captured the popular imagination. Young people snatched from us at the height of their fame. A lot of these were drugs overdoses. Tragic.

By Jack in the Jukebox

Brian Jones – shortly after being axed from the Rolling Stones, Brian was found dead in his swimming pool.

Legend has it that he was murdered.

It’s All Over Now.

Notable Mentions: Other members of the club include Any Winehouse and the legendary Al ‘Blind Owl’ Wilson of Canned Heat, who sounded like a very cool original version of Kermit the Frog.

I loved him.

Jim Morrison – again drugs did a young performer in.

Riders On the Storm.

Robert Johnson – the legend goes that his whisky was poisoned by the jealous husband of a lover, of which there were too many to count. Way to go Robert. Cross Road Blues

Jimi Hendrix – died in London after having taken many times the safe dose of sleeping tablets. It seems he could have been saved but there was a flat to tidy up first. All Along the Watchtower.

Kurt Cobain – Did he pull the trigger himself or was it somebody else?

Smells like Teen Spirit.

Janis Joplin – What a singer, what a performer, and a great consumer of hard liquor and drugs. Soul Sacrifice

12

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Early May 2021

POLITICS AND EVENTS

HEAVEN 17 – FASCIST GROOVE THANG (WE DON’T NEED THIS)

SOCIALIST

Heaven 17 – Fascist Groove Thang (We Don’t Need This) - Lyrics Everybody move to prove the groove – (X7)

LEANINGS H

eaven 17, a New Wave synth pop band hailing from Sheffield, England, formed in 1980 and consisting of Martin Ware (keyboards), Ian Craig Marsh (keyboards), both previously of The Human League, and Glenn Gregory on vocals.

Perhaps better known for the single ‘Temptation’, which reached Number 2 on the UK Singles Chart in spring 1983, Heaven 17’s presence on the 80s New Romantic scene was unmistakeable, and their socialist leftwing credentials are rock solid, most notably via their debut single ‘Fascist Groove Thang (We Don’t Need This)’, released 6th March 1981 from the album Penthouse and Pavement.

ABOUT THE SONG The song was notably banned by the BBC on the grounds that it possibly libelled the then President of the United States, Ronald Reagan, and was detrimental towards UK Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher. The BBC

»

Have you heard it on the news About this fascist groove thang?

Evil men with racist views Spreading all across the land Don’t just sit there on your ass Unlock that funky chain dance Brothers, sisters, shoot your best We don’t need this fascist groove thang Brothers, sisters We don’t need that Fascist Groove Thang Brothers, sisters We don’t need that fascist groove thang History will repeat itself Crisis point, we’re near the hour Counterforce will do no good White blue eyes, I feel your power Hitler proves that funky stuff It’s not for you and me, girl (no, no, no) Europe’s an unhappy land They’ve had their fascist groove thang Brothers, sisters We don’t need that fascist groove thang Brothers, sisters We don’t need that fascist groove thang Democrats are out of power Across that great wide ocean Reagan’s president elect Fascist God in motion Generals tell him what to do Stop your good time dancing Train their guns on me and you Fascist thang advancing

true to form though, failed at the time to realise that a ban is a sure fire way to get a song noticed. Think of the Sex Pistols ‘God Save the Queen’ here and you’ll get the point.

Whilst not as notable as the Pistols offering in regards notoriety and success at the time, (Fascist Groove

The BBC true to form, failed at the time to realise that a ban is a sure fire way to get a song noticed.

Thang only achieving minor hit status), it does speak volumes about the dangers of allowing the Right to gain the upper hand, and is perhaps more relevant today in Tory controlled Britain, where we seem to be sitting idly by and watching Fascism rising unchecked all over again.

Go on, give it a whirl on YouTube, or if you still have the vinyl, get it out and give it a proper spin and airing…

By Adrian Angel

Sisters, brothers lend a hand Increase your population Grab that groove thang by the throat And throw it in the ocean You’re real tonight, you move my soul Let’s cruise out of the dance war Come out your house and dance your dance Shake that fascist groove thang (shake it) Brothers, sisters We don’t need that fascist groove thang Brothers, sisters We don’t need the fascist groove thang (Repeat to fade) Adrian Angel

thewordmedia.org

POLITICS AND EVENTS

Early May 2021

THE

WORD

13

HOW TO LIVE ABROAD. BUYING A RUN DOWN FARMHOUSE

I CAN ENJOY drinking the wine

W

e have a vine field where we did a major replanting exercise last year. We planted 120 vidieras (young grape vine plants), bringing us up to 320. Vineyards are never ploughed, because of the danger of damaging the roots.

In consequence, a new plant trying to establish its new roots finds itself fighting compacted earth.

Although the diameter of a vidiera is not much wider than a biro, one digs a hole a foot deep, and roughly 18” square. This provides loosened earth through which water can travel easily, and where roots can be established more easily. That was 120 holes we dug! This year, we had to replace some new plants that had died. There were also some more established plants that were dormant last year and were still dormant this year. Time to go!

Our friendly neighbour and I dug the holes. I was very surprised when, under my neigh-

IT LOOKS LIKE I WILL BE DIGGING MORE HOLES THIS YEAR

bour’s guidance, I bought 50 vidieras from a market stall. I thought we only needed about twenty.

A controversial definition of antisemitism “An international organisation behind a controversial definition of antiSemitism has misled the public about that definition, according to a new report by the British campaign group Free Speech on Israel, obtained exclusively by Al Jazeera’s Investigative Unit.”

Read more at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/LLADiscussion/ permalink/832909854236485/

By Al Jazeera

My neighbour pointed out that we also own a long neglected vine yard. My wife and I had reinstated this vine yard on our “to do” list, but a long way down that list. All I had to do was to dig holes there for the surplus vidieras.

Over yesterday and today I worked hard in the neglected vine yard. I did not bother to count the holes, because I knew I was nowhere near the thirty holes I needed. My neighbour

is going to supervise me planting the vidieras tomorrow. This afternoon, he surprised me by saying that there were more than twenty holes in the main vineyard. We counted the holes together. Thirty-nine!

I went to the neglected vine yard, and I counted the holes that I dug yesterday and today.

Twenty-five! I now have sixty-four holes, and only 50 vidieras. It looks like I will be digging more holes this year, and com-

History repeats itself This happened in the UK. The agency I worked for (from 19751991) was overwhelmed with applications for its services to begin with because the government had no idea how many children with very severe disabilities existed in the UK in 1973 when the agency was set up. Their answer was to instruct us to restrict what we offered.

There then followed a bad transition period whilst it was scaled down. Very stressful. And totally unnecessary. The government should have done better.

For Australia in 2021, there is no excuse for the ignorance and the response must never be to cut the service because they suddenly find they have far more eligible clients than they thought they had. That is their economic planning problem and the persons concerned should not be made to suffer for government errors. Truly this is history repeating itself.

Read more at: https://www. abc.net.au/news/2021-04-23/ former-ndis-chairman-slamschanges-to-supportscheme/100091348

By Susan Oz

pleting the renovation of the neglected vineyard.

By Charles James

FLAT DECORATION SCANDAL MAY GIVE JOHNSTON A PASTING

Wallpapergate vow of ‘omerta’

J

ust to remind everyone that the current Johnson scandal, about who stumped up the final £58,000 for renovating his Downing Street flat and when, was kicked into play by sacked top Tory aide Dominic Cummings.

In a blistering attack Mr Cummings said he told Johnson in February 2020 that the funding of the flat makeover was ‘unethical, foolish and possibly illegal.’

Ever since the wallpaper paste hit the fan Johnson and his minions have stonewalled all attempts to get a straight answer: who first paid the money, where did it come from:

»

resigned only 62 days in office under Tony Blair 24 years ago this May for failing to declare a £373,000 private home loan from a millionaire MP friend.

Unethical, foolish and possbily illegal

Johnson has a reputation for being financially precarious.

He has complained that his £150,000 salary as Prime Minister is nowhere near enough.

the government, party donors or a private loan, and if so why was not it declared?

While they all claim Johnson finally paid the £58,000 on top of his official £30,000 housing allowance, they have nothing to say about where the money came from.

The Electoral Commission also wants to know and has

started investigating .

It’s worth remembering that Labour MP Peter Mandelson

»

Not only has he funded his wife, Carrie Symonds’ expensive interior designs – including, allegedly, gold wallpaper (hence

Electoral Commission has started investigating Wallpapergate

Wallpapergate) - but his divorce and support for his unknown number of children.

Symonds reportedly has said that Johnson has “no care” for money while other complain he slow to pay when it is his turn.

But is his latest dodgy behaviour hitting him at the polls.

Latest figures show that the Tories have extended their lead over Labour and his personal ratings over Keir Starmer have improved.

Mandelson has warned Starmer not to rely on the scandal to win this month’s local government and byelection for him.

14

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Early May 2021

POLITICS AND EVENTS

STARS MADE OF ANTIMATTER COULD EXIST IN THE MILKY WAY

SCIENCE PAGE

O

ut of an estimated 100 billion stars in our galaxy, no more than 14 may be made from antimatter. That’s the result from a new study that scoured the Milky Way for signs of antistars — which are identical to regular stars save for the fact that they would burn antimatter at their cores.

Though the findings turned up mostly empty this time, researchers haven’t yet fully ruled out the existence of antistars, whose presence would change much about our understanding of the Universe.

The recent search for antistars can be traced back to 2018, when a $1.5-billion experiment called the Alpha Magnetic Spectrometer (AMS) that’s attached to the International Space Station captured a few examples of what might be antimatter.

Antimatter is exactly like regular matter but its charge is reversed, so the anti-

Earth’s crust is way, way older than we thought

BILLION YEARS AGO EARTH’S CONTINENTAL CRUST WAS FORMED

scientists has devised a new way to date ancient chunks of crust — and according to their latest research, we’ve misjudged the age of the continents by half a billion years.

The rigid, rocky continental crust has been a feature of the planet for billions of years (though only a small percentage of today’s crust dates back that far). How many billions of years, exactly, is hard to say. To calculate the age of continents, researchers study the decay of ancient chemicals trapped in rocks — typically, in carbonate minerals recovered from the ocean.

But those minerals are hard to find, and they are rarely in pristine enough condition to analyze.

Now, team

3.7

»

matter equivalent of positively charged protons are negatively charged antiprotons. In this case, AMS detected what looked like antihelium, which has a nucleus composed of two antiprotons and two antineutrons.

a of

mos, as well as astronomical research, a new study warns.

The researchers found that the more than 9,300 tons (8,440 metric tons) of space objects orbiting Earth, In research preincluding inoperaEARTH’S sented April 26 at tive satellites and the virtual Europe- CRUST IS WAY, chunks of spent WAY OLDER an Geosciences Unrocket stages, inTHAN WE ion (EGU) General crease the overall Assembly 2021 conbrightness of THOUGHT ference, the team the night sky by showed that by anamore than 10% lyzing a mineral called barover large parts of ite — a combination of ocean the planet. salts and barium released by volcanic ocean vents — they Such an found evidence that Earth’s i n c r e a s e continental crust was formed w o u l d around at least 3.7 billion m e a n years ago, much older than l a r g e previous estimates. swathes of the planSpace junk is blocking et are our view of the stars conThe night sky is becoming sidincreasingly filled with shiny satellites and space junk that pose a significant threat to our view of the cos-

Researchers haven’t yet fully ruled out the existence of antistars

ered light polluted, making it increasingly difficult for astronomers to take accurate measurements, and increasing the likelihood that they will miss significant discoveries altogether, the researchers said in the journal Monthly Notices of the Royal Astronomical Society.

By Adrian Angel

thewordmedia.org

POLITICS AND EVENTS

Dear Agony Aunt The big boys won’t let us play with them in the playground. They were so mean and just because I cannot kick a ball properly.

How horrid. Should I leave and play in a place where skill does

»

MAGGIE, MAGGIE, MAGGIE…DEAD, DEAD, DEAD...

BUT STILL WRITING AS OUR AGONY AUNT.

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15

Mad Madge Talks Across Oceans Of Time

FROM BEYOND THE WALL OF LOST SPIRITS, LOOSED TEMPORARILY FROM THE HORRORS OF ETERNAL TORMENT, AUNTIE MAGGIE ANSWERS YOUR LETTERS.

Dearest Margaret My partner is rubbish at decorating so we got some friends to do it for us. It only cost us £200,000. Should we have spent more?

Yours, Carrie Symonds Well it’s the real power behind the throne at last! I have to say that whoever paid for it, you’ve made it look like bloody Trump Tower with all that gold and bizarre wall art, it’s hideous. My preference would be traditional beige and pastels but you’ve gone for bling and Demi’s Roussos Kaftan designs. No class at all.

Early May 2021

BOJO’S DIARY Saturday 24th Apr “Donnez Moi Une Break” it’s attacks all round, mainly from chaps called Domenic. First off last night Cummings was the Turd that Wormed, bitching about his supposed integrity versus the Downing Street massive. Then today Gutless Grieve called me a ‘Vacuum of Integrity’, actually that’s funny with the Dyson thing. Anyway if I don’t care, I fail to see if anyone else will...

Monday 26th Apr Got to wear a Hiviz jacket for a visit to a sports shop in Wales today. Had to play a game of Whiff-whaff with some Taff prole called Daffydd for the cameras. Batted away (see what I did there) the press questions about my “Let the bodies pile high” comment, that shouldn’t come back to bite my arse again. Left Gove to answer all the cronyist nonsense, the little Toad is keen to wear my shoes.

Wednesday 28th Apr Back in the House of Muggles for PMQ’s. Forensic Keith, with his concrete quiff was playing party politics by asking about the specifics of my redecorating bill and who paid for it. I answered loads of questions he didn’t ask and unequivocally deferred attention as I didn’t think it’s relevant that I was loaned money by someone who ends up getting £Millions in government contracts. Besides Carrie’s taste is appalling and little Wilf Wotsisname has smeared vomit up the walls already. Whole thing will need redoing before Gove moves in..

A daily insight into the mind of the former Daily Telegraph columnist and comedy act....

not matter?

Yours Faithfully, Arsenal Dear Arse, It’s a known fact

of life that the world of sport is fiercely competitive. Also the world of corporate capitalism

is meant to be competitive, but of course the more money you have the more you can rewrite the rulebook. So rather than bitching about an offside, or a Millionaire player screaming in the face of a semi-pro Referee, simply invest more cash and buy more assets, I mean players.

Dear Maggie Something must be done about the way that Alexei Navalny has been locked up in prison on trumped up charges just for trying to expose a corrupt totalitarian Governments crimes.

Yours in hope, J Assange Well I wouldn’t hold your breath if I were you, the Russian State isn’t likely to free someone who opposes their regime. Of course it couldn’t happen here, simply telling the truth and holding power to account is a basic human right. Unless it’s the US then you are buggered. How’s the porridge in Belmarsh.

money from journalism. This is because I am part of a group producing a not for profit tabloid newspaper. We volunteer because we hope it helps bring fairness in the world. They are run by a bunch of posh middle class privately educated people who seem to hate someone like me from a council estate. What should I do?

Alan Davies Are you Alan Davis the fattongued comedian off QI? Or are you the one from hard left Trot rag ‘The Word’? One of the proudest achievements in life was wrecking the Union movement, turning them from an essential democratic workers collective into yet another establishment club.

Don’t forget that the majority of NUJ members work for The Mail, The Sun, The Express and the BBC. They will all be threatened if you roll up and compete with them. You are outside their tent, pissing in.

They don’t like it up ‘em.

Dear dead evil one I have been trying to become a member of the NUJ for 7 months since they rescinded my membership for not earning any

From beyond the wall of lost spirits, loosed temporarily from the horrors of eternal torment. Aunt Maggie answers your letters.

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Early May 2021

POLITICS AND EVENTS

SATIRE AND HUMOUR

BIZARRE NEWS

MP Caught In The Nip

Weird stuff from the internet that you didn’t need to know on as I was changing into my work clothes after going for a jog. Speaker Anthony Reid has since reminded MPs to remain vigilant if they are close to a camera or microphone.

William Amos, who represents the Liberal Party for the Quebec district of Pontiac, could be seen starkers behind a desk between the flags of Canada and Quebec with only a mobile phone protecting his modesty.

Mystery Animal a Pastry A woman in Krakow called animal welfare officers claiming that people were afraid to open their windows in case the creature got into their homes.

Inspectors were unsure whether it was a bird, reptile or mammal -

The MP has expressed regret for his state of undress and described the incident as “an unfortunate error”. Amos said: “My video was accidentally turned

with the caller suggesting that it could have been an iguana.

“This has led to significant discoloration along the river When they arrived at the & officers have been on site to scene, animal officers found that assess the impact & will continit was simply a croissant that ue tomorrow morning.” NRW had become lodged in the team leader Ioan Williams tree. They believe it was added that no fish seem thrown out of a window STARKERS to have been harmed, to feed birds after going despite initial conBEHIND stale cerns.

A DESK Rollin’ Down A Milky River A Twitter clip uploaded to the social media site by May Lewis shows milky water cascading over a waterfall in Carmarthenshire. A post from Natural Resources Wales (NRW) read: “An unknown quantity of milk has entered the River Dulais today following a RTC (road traffic accident) that involved a milk tanker which had left the road.

Drunken Frenchmen’s Cream Horns The unnamed pair, from France, reportedly got the idea after watching a YouTube ‘tutorial’ providing tips on how to increase the size of your manhood. However, they required medical treatment after “progressive painful swelling of the penis during the night” following the injection of anti-hematoma cream.

» Mystic Mandy Horoscopes No Fish Were Harmed

Aries (Mar20 -Apr 20) Mars, your ruler, moves into the domestic area of your chart a couple of days from now you must expect a certain amount of opposition, even aggression, from those you share your living space with. Promise you won’t murder them. Lucky condiment - Marmite.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20) Whilst it’s good that you have strong opinions but shouting about them at the top of your voice isn’t going to win many people round to your way of thinking. A more relaxed approach is called for today, especially in the Pub. Avoid - Starmer’s Bouncers.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20) A little of what you fancy will do you the world of good but don’t go too far and overindulge or you could spend the rest of the week paying for it, just look at Eric Pickles. Avoid

Trevor Mints. Lucky colour Beige.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22) It may seem as if you have been lacking in strength and self-belief of late but that will change in a matter of days, so be patient and keep making plans. As a cardinal sign you can’t help but be ambitious, and stop being such a feckless drip. Lucky narcotic - Cocaine.

Leo (July 23 - August 22) You may have to do something you don’t much enjoy today, most likely in the company of people you enjoy even less, but get on with it and don’t complain. Don’t be such a wimp. Lucky Career - Leader of the Opposition. Avoid Socialism.

Virgo (August 23 – September22) Something will happen today that forces you to face up

to the reality of your current situation and it may not be a pleasant experience. But it will be a learning experience, so knuckle down, get past it and don’t bitch about it. Lucky Car – Austin Ambassador.

Libra (September 23 - October 22) It’s true, your rivals have more power than you, but that is not an excuse to give up. The odds you face at the moment may be huge but they are not insurmountable, at least not for someone of limited abilities, so fight on, purge the socialists and chase the mythical centre ground like a Tory bitch.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) A good idea you pick up from listening to other people talking can easily be used for your own benefit. Is that immoral? No it is not. There is no copyright on ideas, so if it can

be made to work for you then adopt Thatcherism, why not.

Avoid – sharp edges and staircases.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) If you have gone so far as to tell the world what you intend to do then you need to get on and do it. If you go back on what you have promised it will not only affect you financially but could seriously dent your reputation too. Unless you are a Conservative. Avoid – Captain hindsight. Lucky Schools Eton or Harrow. Avoid Charterhouse.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) There is something you need to remove from your life, something you feel is holding you back, now is the time to get rid of it. You must be thorough.

Dr. Rich Viney, Consultant Urologist at Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Birmingham, told MailOnline: “In this story we have two amateurs, under the influence of alcohol, injecting a product not designed to be injected in their penises under the guidance of a YouTube video.

“This was never going to work out well and there’s a real likelihood that there will be irreversible damage with long-term implications for their erections. This is something no right-minded individual would do.”

Half measures won’t cut it. Go all the way and vote Green.

Lucky environmentalist – Greta Thunberg.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) Work twice as hard to get a chore or task done today but the planets warn you may exhaust yourself if you do. On the other hand, if you put it on hold for a few days you may find the task becomes a whole lot easier. Claim Universal Credit and sort it later.

Avoid - Gammons Pisces (February 19 - March 20) Whatever you choose to start over the next few days has the potential to turn into something truly remarkable, so think about what you most want to do and sketch out a rough idea of how you see it progressing before you sober up. Lucky beverage – Absinthe.

MORE CHOICE!

Now with your essential STREAMING GUIDE

tv choice THE

WORD

tion Corona s this .I Street nd of the e a? an er

LINE OF DUTY

Not to be missed final episode

NEW

NEW DRAMA

Down the Mighty River with Steve Backshall

BBC ONE

Countryfile

Escape to the Chateau

SUNDAY 2. May

SUNDAY Main Channels

tv

To d ay ’s C h o i ce

W ORD THE

Freeview HD

BBC1

BBC2

1

101 101/801 115/101 101 108/101

Bill

3:05 pm - 4:35 pm William Shakespeare is determined to become a successful playwright after getting kicked out of a folk band. Heading to London to seek his fortune, he gets caught up in a plot by the king of Spain to blow up Elizabeth I. Historical comedy with the cast of Horrible Histories, starring Mathew Baynton and Helen McCrory

NEW

Live Snooker: The World Championship 1:00 pm - 6:00 pm Coverage of the opening session of the final at the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield, where the first eight frames of the match take place. Ronnie O’Sullivan took early control over Kyren Wilson in last year’s corresponding session taking a 6-2 lead and recording the first century of the match in the seventh frame.

27 Dresses

2:50 pm - 4:55 pm Singleton Jane is literally always the bridesmaid and never the bride, a role she assumes for the 28th time when her sister announces she is getting married - to a man Jane is secretly in love with. As she wrestles with her feelings, Jane’s predicament attracts the attention of a reporter fascinated by her story.

Sky HD

101/106/110

09:00 The Andrew Marr Show A round-up of the week’s stories, featuring interviews with key figures in politics and current affairs and a round-up of the Sunday papers.

10:15 Politics London The latest political news and debate from the region 10:45 Sunday Morning Stories The Rev Kate Bottley discusses the importance of wellbeing, meeting therapy dogs that help children learn to read and visiting the UK’s first Muslim Ballet School 11:15 Pilgrimage: The Road to Santiago Seven celebrities don their backpacks to find out whether a medieval pilgrimage still has relevance today, taking on a 780km trek across northern Spain over 15 days.

12:15 Bargain Hunt Experts Raj Bisram and Kate Bliss offer their advice as two teams test their antiques knowledge at the Lincoln Antiques Fair, prior to auction in Grantham.

13:00 BBC News 13:10 Weather for the Week Ahead 13:15 Songs of Praise Claire McCollum and Sean Fletcher mark the 100th anniversary of Northern Ireland, meeting Christians from all denominations.

13:50 Points of View Viewers’ opinions on BBC shows and behind-the-scenes reports on new programmes 14:05 Escape to the Country A couple from Worcestershire request the services of Alistair Appleton to help them find the perfect home in Cornwall for their £650,000 budget.

15:05 Bill 16:35 Dynasties David Attenborough narrates a documentary following five of the world’s most endangered species as they struggle to preserve their social groups, beginning with a chimpanzee troop in Senegal.

17:35 BBC News 18:00 Countryfile 19:00 Antiques Roadshow 20:00 Call the Midwife Dr Turner and Sister Hilda are both bewildered and concerned by a patient’s unexplained symptoms.

21:00 Line of Duty With time running out, AC-12 attempt to unmask H, the fourth individual commanding the network of corrupt officers behind the murder of Gail Vella.

22:00 BBC News 22:30 Match of the Day 2 Mark Chapman reviews the day’s Premier League action, including Manchester United v Liverpool at Old Trafford.

23:35 The Women’s Football Show Reshmin Chowdhury presents highlights of the weekend’s games in the Super League, including Bristol City v Manchester United and Everton v Arsenal

Virgin HD

Freesat

2

102 102/802 102/115 102 102

102/110/106

06:35 B ritain in Bloom Chris Bavin heads to the Wiltshire market town of Melksham, as he meets a group who have entered the annual flower competition for five years, but never won gold 07:05 Gardeners’ World At Longmeadow, Monty Don give a masterclass on growing Mediterranean herbs, plants lily bulbs for summer scent, and in the vegetable garden, he begins to sow seeds for salad root crops 08:05 Countryfile Helen Skelton is in the Nidderdale Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty in North Yorkshire, helping prepare for the return of both animals and visitors to the hills.

09:00 Landward Dougie Vipond walks the Postie’s Path on the Coigach peninsula in Wester Ross, finding out how this coastal route transformed life in this remote community and how it’s being protected for the future.

09:30 Beechgrove Carole Baxter and Mairi Rattray set about fixing, feeding and repairing the lawns, while Kirsty Wilson creates a new living lawn and Brian Cunningham encourages people not to mow if possible.

10:00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites Matt Tebbutt presents highlights from throughout the series, offering viewers a chance to revisit some of their favourite moments from previous years in the kitchen 11:30 Rick Stein’s India The chef goes in search of the best chicken korma in Lucknow, learns the complexities of making rice dish pulao and joins thousands of partygoers at one of India’s major Hindu festivals.

12:30 Great British Menu The two highest scoring chefs from Northern Ireland go head-to-head and cook their six-course menus again.

13:00 Live Snooker: The World Championship Coverage of the opening session of the final at the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield, where the first eight frames of the match take place.

18:00 Down the Mighty River with Steve Backshall In the conclusion of the two-part programme, the naturalist travels down the Baliem River’s lower gorge, one of the most dangerous stretches of white water in the world surrounded by jagged rock walls.

19:00 Live Snooker: The World Championship 22:00 Michael Palin’s Himalaya: Journey of a Lifetime The comedian and explorer revisits his fifth travel series, an epic journey across the world’s highest mountain range that was the fulfilment of a boyhood dream inspired by the 1953 ascent of Everest by Hillary and Tensing.

23:30 Heroes Sylar calls on Matt, and Peter warns Emma that Samuel is not what he seems.

FREEVIEW ITV2 6 118 118

07:00 08:40 11:40 12:40

13:45

15:45 17:30 19:15 21:00 22:00 22:45 23:45

115 176

ITV3 10 113

The Ellen DeGeneres Show Love Bites Dress to Impress Catchphrase Celebrity Special Stephen Mulhern hosts a celebrity special of the classic game show, with contestants Tom Allen, Fleur East and Simon Gregson.

You've Been Framed! Top 100 Shockers Harry Hill presents a countdown of 100 memorable videos not for the faint-hearted.

Chicken Run Shrek 2 Liar Liar Family Guy Celebrity Juice Family Guy American Dad!

119 119

117 177

ITVBE 27 115

06:55 Emmerdale 09:40 A Touch of Frost Jack finds himself working alongside DS Lawson on a delicate case involving a spate of attacks on defenceless senior citizens in their homes 11:55 Foyle’s War 15:55 Wycliffe 18:05 Endeavour The detective investigates the disappearance of a Dutch au pair, which seems connected to rivalry amid the city’s academics.

20:00 Prince Charles: Inside the Duchy of Cornwall 21:00 Inside the Crown: Secrets of the Royals 22:00 Vera 00:00 Coronation Street

131

119 179

09:00 09:15 09:30 09:50 10:05 10:25 10:40 11:00 11:05 11:15 11:25 11:30 11:45 12:00 12:30 17:00 18:00 19:00 23:00

DAVE 118

Wildwoods Chloe’s Closet Lily’s Driftwood Bay Percy’s Tiger Tales The Hive Sooty Claude George and Paul Pingu in the City Bobo Claude Shorts Ziggy and the Zoo Tram Pip Ahoy!

Best Cake Wins The Real Housewives of B. Hills Don’t Be Tardy The Only Way Is Essex Celebrity Dinner Date The Real Housewives of Atlanta

19

111/112 111/112

09:00 10:00 11:00 12:00 13:00 15:00 17:00 18:00 19:00 20:00

21:00 22:00 23:00 23:40

127 227

157

Storage Hunters UK Red Bull Soapbox Race Fast Justice Secrets of the Supercars Top Gear: Ambitious but Rubbish Would I Lie to You? James May’s Cars of the People Fast Justice Secrets of the Supercars QI XL Sandi Toksvig invites Aisling Bea, Corey Taylor and Ross Noble and Alan Davies to answer questions on subjects associated with nosey.

Have I Got a Bit More Old News for You Live at the Apollo Mock the Week Would I Lie to You?

SUNDAY CHANNEL4

3

CHANNEL5

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Wales 7

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09:25 A ustralia with Julia Bradbury Julia meets backpackers in Cairns and heads out to an island turtle sanctuary.

09:50 Love Your Garden Alan Titchmarsh creates a kitchen garden in Oxford for Icolyn Smith, the 88-year-old founder of a charitable foundation dedicated to providing food and support for homeless people.

10:50 Alan Titchmarsh: Spring into Summer Alan is joined by Twiggy, who pays tribute to the Great British seaside, while horticulturist David Domoney selects garden furniture to help people entertain this summer.

11:15 Ainsley’s Food We Love The chef prepares a selection of dishes perfect for al fresco dining, including Cypriot lamb chops, cherry tomato skewers and potato salad.

12:20 ITV News and Weather 12:25 Game of Talents Vernon Kay hosts the game show, with two contestants pairing up with Joel Dommett and Oti Mabuse to try to win big money.

13:30 ITV Racing: Live from Newmarket Francesca Cumani and Ed Chamberlin presents coverage of the 3.40 Qipco 1000 Guineas Stakes from Newmarket.

16:00 You’ve Been Framed! Goes LARGE Harry Hill narrates a double-sized edition of digital disasters, featuring videos uploaded from viewers’ phones, drones, dashcams...

17:00 In for a Penny Stephen Mulhern heads to Cambridge for the game show in which he travels around the UK setting members of the public unusual challenges.

17:30 The Chase Celebrity Special Bradley Walsh presents as comedian Dane Baptiste, rugby referee Nigel Owens, presenter Anita Rani pit their wits against one of the ruthless Chasers in the hope of winning a potential prize pot worth thousands of pounds.

18:30 ITV News and Weather 19:00 Tipping Point: Lucky Stars Ben Shephard hosts as Richard Madeley, Sheila Ferguson and Mark Wright answer questions to win turns on an arcade-style machine.

20:00 Skyfall James Bond pursues a mysterious criminal mastermind who has orchestrated a terrorist attack on MI6 headquarters and exposed the identities of undercover agents.

22:40 ITV News and Weather 22:55 The Millennium Dome Heist with Ross Kemp The actor reveals the story of the nine-month game of cat-and-mouse between police and a criminal gang intent on stealing diamonds worth £350 million.

23:55 And Finally - With Trevor McDonald

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02:10 C ouples Come Dine with Me In Kent, Katie is first up with a menu suited to her husband Dan’s huge appetite, but their massive portion sizes prove a challenge to some.

03:00 Hollyoaks Omnibus The McQueens are forced to deal with the repercussions of recent events.

05:00 The £100k Drop Davina McCall presents the quiz show in which contestants Becky and Ricky, a couple from Cardiff, and Ellie and Corinne, mother and daughter from Somerset, start off with £100,000 and are challenged to place quantities of the cash over trapdoors as they face a series of questions, the wrong answers to which will lose them money every time they slip up.

05:50 Mike & Molly Fearing that Frannie has no plans for her life post-pregnancy, Mike and Molly attempt to reconcile her with her estranged sister.

06:55 The King of Queens Doug asks Arthur to coach him at table tennis in a bid to beat Carrie and boost his deflated ego, while Spence is put out to learn his girlfiend has been promoted to waitress at the bowling alley.

07:40 The Big Bang Theory When Amy and Wil Wheaton get into a fight while filming Fun with Flags, Sheldon suffers the consequences of their fall-out.

09:30 Sunday Brunch Tim Lovejoy and Simon Rimmer present more cookery and conversation.

12:30 The Simpsons Lisa attends a performing arts camp, where guitar-playing counsellors and musically inclined youngsters teach her to embrace her creative side.

14:50 27 Dresses 16:55 Kirstie and Phil’s Love It or List It Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer meet a couple in Rushden in Northamptonshire who are unsure whether they should renovate their current home or sell up and move into another.

18:00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather 18:30 Escape to the Chateau With no guests to entertain at the chateau this year, the overhaul of the orangery continues.

19:30 Formula 1 Portuguese Grand Prix Highlights Steve Jones is joined by David Coulthard to present action from the third round of the season, held at Algarve International Circuit in Portimao.

22:00 Pet Sematary Massachusetts doctor Louis Creed moves to a small Maine town with his wife Rachel, their kids, Ellie and Gage, and Church, the cat.

23:55 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA In the concluding part of his trip to the Mill Street Bistro in Norwalk, Ohio, Gordon’s disagreement with proprietor Joe Nagy erupts into one of his most intense confrontations yet.

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08:25 P aw Patrol Super-bandit Ladybird wreaks havoc in Adventure Bay, taking all of the town’s treasures - including Mayor Goodway.

08:35 Pirata & Capitano Seagull Island is hit by an earthquake and the birds flee to Barracuda Island.

08:50 Butterbean’s Cafe 09:10 Brave Bunnies Bop and the bunnies’ tiger best friend Garry compete in a nature hunt, eager to find the coolest thing ever.

09:15 Little Princess 09:30 The World According to Grandpa Grandpa spins one of his tall tales about his own grandpa who used to fly his own cloud all over the world.

09:40 Floogals 09:50 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:05 SpongeBob SquarePants SpongeBob and Patrick get hooked on the latest fad - flying their own brains around like a tiny drone.

10:15 The Loud House Lincoln eavesdrops on his parents, and becomes convinced they want to get rid of their kids.

10:30 Entertainment News on 5 Showbiz news and gossip.

10:40 WWE: Raw Highlights Wrestling action with the superstars of WWE, including Drew McIntyre, AJ Styles, Becky Lynch, Randy Orton.

11:30 Friends Rachel’s attractive and influential new friend sends Ross into a jealous frenzy.

13:30 Nightmare Tenants, Slum Landlords 15:30 Ben Fogle: Make a New Life in the Country A 43-year-old woman named Cara is giving up two decades of working as a nanny for a completely different life.

17:30 5 News Weekend Round-up of the day’s headlines from around the world.

17:40 Secrets of the Cadbury Factory Behind the scenes of the confectionery company, telling the story of a business that started out making cocoa.

19:00 Caravan Holidays with Shane Richie 20:00 Bargain Loving Brits by the Sea Holidaymakers Mick and Joanne from the Midlands fall for Scarborough’s charms on their first visit, so much so they begin considering making a permanent move.

21:00 Rich House, Poor House Lincolnshire landowner Robert Elwes, his archaeologist wife Marina and daughter Emily, swap homes, budgets and lives with Yorkshire family.

22:00 Gibraltar: Brits in the Sun Duty manager Daniel Acris has to deal with delays, diversions and disgruntled passengers at the airport as its radar is turned off for maintenance.

22:55 Britain’s Favourite 80s Songs Jenny Powell narrates this look back at the era of Bros, Belinda Carlisle and Bomb the Bass.

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09:00 Food Unwrapped 09:30 Four in a Bed 12:00 Escape to the Chateau: DIY Stephanie finishes her mother Isobel’s apartment. Painted and decorated.

14:00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 15:00 A Place in the Sun 18:00 R amsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA Gordon Ramsay continues his travels across America saving failing restaurants from disaster.

19:00 A Place in the Sun 20:00 George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces 21:00 Grand Designs 22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 23:05 Naked Attraction 00:10 First Dates Hotel

DRAMA

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08:55 Amazing Spaces 10:00 Ugly House to Lovely House with George Clarke 11:00 George Clarke’s Old House, New Home George is in Wirral to help retired couple Charles and Ian. 12:00 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Four in a Bed The competition heads to Spain, where Ben Eyre and Anna Chalu are first to host at Vista Del Torcal in the Andalusian Mountains 17:20 Come Dine with Me 20:00 999: On the Front Line 21:00 999: What’s Your Emergency?

22:00 24 Hours in A&E 23:05 Emergency Helicopter Medics 00:05 999: On the Front Line 01:05 999: What’s Your Emergency?

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06:00 Teleshopping 07:15 The Bill 11:05 Call the Midwife It’s Christmas time in Poplar and love is in the air as Jenny’s relationship with Alec continues to blossom.

15:30 Catherine Cookson’s A Dinner of Herbs First in a two-part drama, starring Billie Whitelaw as a herbalist who takes an 11-yearold orphan under her wing.

18:40 Call the Midwife 20:00 Miss Marple 23:25 Silent Witness Nikki and the Lyell team investigate a suspicious death from 20 years previously after a skeleton is found in a concrete pillar in a multi-storey car park.

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3:45 - 19:00 Close 19:00 Revolution and Romance: Musical Masters of the 19th Century 20:00 BBC Young Musician 2020 Anna Lapwood, Josie d’Arby and Jess Gillam host the climax of the musical contest, in which the three finalists perform with the BBC Philharmonic Orchestra at Bridgewater Hall, Manchester.

22:00 Between the Lines A senior police officer is arrested with a prostitute.

23:40 Motherland Kevin reluctantly hosts a last-minute Halloween party.

02:40 R evolution and Romance: Musical Masters of the 19th Century

2. May

ITV

MONDAY 3. May

MONDAY Main Channels

tv W ORD THE

To d ay ’s C h o i ce

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BBC1

BBC2

1

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06:00 09:15 10:00 11:00

Homes Under the Hammer

10:00 am - 11:00 am Martin Roberts, Dion Dublin and Martel Maxwell visit properties in Smethwick in the Midlands, Ramsgate in Kent and Chingford, London

Great British Railway Journeys 6:30 pm - 7:00 pm Michael Portillo explores East Anglia between the wars, beginning at Sutton Hoo in Suffolk, where archaeologists discovered a 27-metre-long Anglo-Saxon ship in 1939. In the Essex village of Dedham, he unearths a nasty brush between painters, with art experts explaining the antipathy between traditional artist Alfred Munnings and the modern art school established in the village by Cedric Morris

Tipping Point

4:30 pm - 5:35 pm Ben Shephard hosts the quiz in which contestants answer questions to win turns on an arcade-style machine. Dropping tokens down a choice of four chutes, they hope to knock piles of them off a moving shelf - and the more they collect, the greater the prize fund. The player who has won the least amount is then eliminated, and the last one standing competes for a £10,000 jackpot.

Sky HD

Breakfast Rip Off Britain Homes Under the Hammer D om Digs In Dom Littlewood joins workers at the Port of Tyne, helping to unload cargo containers from the quayside, and discovering how their contents are transported around the country.

11:45 Close Calls: On Camera 12:15 Bargain Hunt Natasha Raskin Sharp presents from Peterborough, and discovers how social media has cultivated a new generation of antique enthusiasts.

13:00 BBC News at One; Weather 13:30 Impossible Rick Edwards hosts the quiz in which contestants compete for the chance to win £10,000, with a single `impossible” answer knocking them out for the day.

14:15 Garden Rescue 15:00 Escape to the Country Alistair Appleton helps an Essex family find a new home in Shropshire with a garden and a large kitchen for £375,000.

15:45 Money for Nothing 16:30 The Repair Shop The team tackles a miner’s lamp that saved its owners life, a mysterious rug-covered armchair.

17:15 Pointless Quiz in which contestants try to score the fewest points possible by giving the least obvious correct answers to questions.

18:00 BBC News at Six 18:25 Party Election Broadcast A party election broadcast by the Conservative candidate for the London mayoral election.

18:30 Garden Rescue 19:00 The One Show Alex Jones brings you the stories that matter from across the country.

19:35 Fawlty Towers Basil’s belief that guests are an obstacle to the smooth running of his hotel is borne out by the arrival of an aggressive woman (Joan Sanderson).

20:05 East Enders And despite assuring her that his fiancee is innocent, Callum begins to waver when he overhears Ben planning a secret meeting.

20:30 Sully - Miracle on the Hudson Clint Eastwood’s fact-based drama, starring Tom Hanks as pilot Chesley `Sully” Sullenberger.

22:00 BBC News at Ten 22:30 Starstruck Three months after Jessie fled Tom’s flat, a chance encounter clears the air.

22:50 Eating with My Ex After a messy break-up Ella and Tizzy have never discussed whether he cheated whilst on tour - until now.

23:20 RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under Australian and New Zealand drag queens compete to be the first Drag Race superstar from Down Under.

Virgin HD

Freesat

2

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06:45 M oney for Nothing Jacqui Joseph is at the Walsall Recycling Centre, where she digs out a bamboo chair uncovered from some garden waste, an unwanted pine corner unit, and a midcentury bedside table 07:30 Inside the Zoo It is training time for barn owls Rowan and Cedar, recently arrived from Colchester Zoo, while senior keeper Erika patiently attempts to win the confidence of Sumatran tigress Dharma.

08:30 The Week in Parliament A round-up of the week’s proceedings in Parliament, presented by Alicia McCarthy 10:00 BBC News 13:00 Live Snooker: The World Championship Coverage of the third session of the final, as the players face a potential eight frames in the tournament at the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield.

18:00 Richard Osman’s House of Games Samira Ahmed, Dom Joly, Angela Rippon and John Robins go toe-to-toe testing their general knowledge skills in a variety of trivia-based games across the week.

18:30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo explores East Anglia between the wars, beginning at Sutton Hoo in Suffolk, where archaeologists discovered a 27-metre-long Anglo-Saxon ship in 1939.

19:00 Live Snooker: The World Championship Coverage of the fourth and concluding session of the final at the Crucible Theatre, Sheffield, where the first player to reach 18 frames is crowned champion.

22:00 Tulip Fever In 17th-century Amsterdam at the height of tulip mania, an artist falls in love with a married woman whose portrait he has been commissioned to paint.

23:35 Bent Coppers: Crossing the Line of Duty The final instalment reveals how, in the late 1970s, corruption within the City of London’s CID had grown out of control - and how Operation Countryman was launched in response 00:40 Countryfile Helen Skelton is in the Nidderdale Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty in North Yorkshire, helping prepare for the return of both animals and visitors to the hills.

01:35 Elizabeth Taylor: A Life in Ten Pictures Elizabeth’s image is known around the world - she was one of the most famous women in Hollywood, but could just a handful of photos uncover truths about someone we think we all know?

02:35 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce and the team visit some of Britain’s most sumptuous and unusual locations, attracting large crowds intent on finding out what their hidden treasures are worth.

FREEVIEW ITV2 6 118 118

08:30 09:30 10:00 10:40 11:45 12:30 13:00 14:00 15:00 15:30 17:20 18:20 19:05 21:00 21:30 22:00 23:30 00:00

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ITV3 10 113

Coronation Street You’ve Been Framed!

Catchphrase Alvin and the Chipmunks FYI Daily Emmerdale Coronation Street Catchphrase Celebrity Special You’ve Been Framed! Gold The Nut Job 2: Nutty By Nature Despicable Me 3 F YI Daily The latest news from the world of entertainment.

Uncle Buck Family Guy American Dad! Family Guy American Dad! The Cleveland Show

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08:05 Heartbeat 09:15 That’s My Boy 09:50 George and Mildred When their house is subjected to a compulsory purchase order, the Ropers swap urban surroundings for suburbia.

10:20 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 11:30 Wycliffe 12:40 Heartbeat 13:45 Classic Emmerdale 14:50 Classic Coronation Street 15:50 Goodbye Mr Chips 17:55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 19:00 Wycliffe 20:00 Vera 22:05 Law & Order: UK 23:05 Bancroft 00:25 A Touch of Frost

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Buying and Selling Wildwoods Chloe’s Closet Lily’s Driftwood Bay Percy’s Tiger Tales The Hive Sooty Claude Pingu in the City Bobo Ziggy and the Zoo Tram Pip Ahoy!

Best Cake Wins Celebrity Dinner Date Buying and Selling Dinner Date Botched The Real Housewives Potomac

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15:20 17:20 19:00 19:40 21:00 of

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Teleshopping Timber Kings American Pickers Red Bull Soapbox Race 2018 Top Gear Vietnam Special Top Gear Bolivia Special James May’s Cars of the

People James concludes his examination of the social significance of cars.

Red Bull Soapbox Race 2018 Top Gear Vietnam Special Would I Lie to You? At Christmas Room 101 Have I Got a Bit More News for You Taskmaster Mock the Week Would I Lie to You? At Christmas

MONDAY CHANNEL4

3

CHANNEL5

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06:00 G ood Morning Britain 09:00 L orraine Entertainment, current affairs and fashion news, as well as showbiz stories and celebrity gossip. Presented by Lorraine Kelly.

10:00 This Morning A mix of celebrity chat, lifestyle features, advice and competitions.

12:30 Loose Women Celebrity interviews and studio discussion from a female perspective.

13:40 ITV Lunchtime News 13:45 ITV News London 13:50 The Secret Life of Pets When rivalry leaves them cast adrift on the streets of New York, two bickering hounds must put their differences aside and pull together.

15:30 Tenable Sally Lindsay hosts as five workmates from Devon attempt to answer questions about top 10 lists from the realms of pop culture and general knowledge, before trying to score a perfect 10 in the final round to take home the prize money.

16:30 Tipping Point Ben Shephard hosts the quiz in which contestants answer questions to win turns on an arcade-style machine.

17:35 T he Chase Bradley Walsh presents as contestants Karen, Joe, Nav and Sarah pit their wits against one of the ruthless Chasers in the hope of winning a potential prize pot worth thousands of pounds.

18:45 ITV News London 18:50 Party Election Broadcast 19:00 Emmerdale Moira and Cain set a plan in motion.

Charity gives Mackenzie a warning. Mackenzie and Aaron are in trouble.

19:30 Coronation Street Harvey’s heavies watch Carla and Peter meet in a car park, and Abi’s day goes from bad to worse with a series of setbacks sending her stress levels through the roof.

20:00 A lan Titchmarsh: Spring into Summer Former ballerina Darcey Bussell joins Alan to talk about bringing dance back to the nation this summer, while carpenter Wayne Perrey creates a garden bar.

20:30 Coronation Street Sharon calls Harvey’s heavy with details of Leanne’s hideout, and Nina mentions to Asha that she saw Corey openly flirting with Kelly in Speed Daal.

21:00 Beat the Chasers 22:00 I TV News at Ten A fresh perspective on the major stories of the day, featuring national and international news, with reports and analysis from ITV’s correspondents.

22:15 Des O’Connor: The Ultimate Entertainer A tribute to the longest-serving prime time TV host of all time, who topped theatre bills globally.

23:10 Beat the Chasers 00:10 All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite

06:40 Cheers Cliff meets the woman of his dreams at the Cheers Halloween fancy dress party - but they must work out if they feel the same about each other when the masks come off.

07:05 Cheers 07:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Frasier Niles and Frasier agree to eat at Martin’s favourite restaurant, but are not prepared for its laid-back atmosphere.

10:25 Escape to the Chateau: DIY 11:30 Couples Come Dine with Me Three couples compete in Glasgow for the cash prize of £1,000.

12:30 Steph’s Packed Lunch Steph McGovern presents the weekday magazine, including celebrity guests, food ideas, real-life features and entertainment, lifestyle and consumer stories.

14:10 Countdown Nick Hewer and Rachel Riley host the words-and-numbers game where contestants pit their wits against the clock.

15:00 A Place in the Sun Danni Menzies helps a family from North Shields search for a property in the picturesque coastal town of La Duquesa on Spain’s Costa del Sol. 16:00 A New Life in the Sun: Road Trip 17:00 Four in a Bed The first visit of the week comes from Jockhead Holiday Cottages in Burgh le Marsh, Lincolnshire, where owner Karen Cumberlidge and her son Liam hope to wow their guests.

17:30 Beat the Chef A former fighter pilot prepares beef stroganoff in a culinary duel against chef Mark Sargeant’s plaice with bourguignon sauce.

18:00 The Simpsons 18:30 Hollyoaks Sienna has a big decision to make, as Joel tries to persuade her to let Warren see his children.

19:00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

19:30 Jamie: Keep Cooking Family Favourites 20:00 How to Save a Grand in 24 Hours A couple from Solihull turn over their bank statements to Anna Richardson and the experts for some hard home truths about their spending since they were both put on furlough.

21:00 Baby Surgeons: Delivering Miracles Three expectant mothers face dangerous complications in their pregnancies, and have to decide whether they are willing to undergo pioneering but potentially risky surgery for a successful birth.

22:00 Gogglebox 23:05 999: On the Front Line Paramedics help a 24-year-old man who is having an epileptic seizure in a supermarket, while an ambulance crew treats an elderly woman whose nose will not stop bleeding.

00:10 Paramedics: Britain’s Lifesavers

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07:00 Fireman Sam Blaze-tackling antics with the friendly firefighter who lives in the fictional Welsh rural village of Pontypandy.

07:10 Daisy & Ollie 07:20 Peppa Pig 07:45 Pip & Posy The friends have fun with a balloon.

08:00 Paw Patrol: Jet to the Rescue The Duke of Flappington steals a levitation gem from the castle and uses it to raise Barkingburg into the clouds, and Skye must lead the team in their biggest rescue yet.

08:55 Wissper Monty loses his voice while trying to teach the young meerkats how to be good lookouts.

09:00 Peppa Pig 09:05 Sunny Bunnies The adventures of five colourful balls of light Turbo, Hopper, Boo, Iris and Shiny.

09:15 Jeremy Vine 11:15 George Clarke’s Build a New Life in the Country Terry and Marilyn attempt to relocate from Whitby to a 500-year-old farmhouse in the northen Pennines, which they set out to transform into a home for their large family.

12:15 5 News at Lunchtime Round-up of the day’s headlines from around the world.

12:20 Classic House 13:15 Home and Away Dean brings Mackenzie to her scheduled abortion, worried about Ari who is out of the loop.

13:45 Neighbours When Brent shows up after going missing, Aaron and David lose their tempers.

14:15 Morning Show Mysteries: Mortal Mishaps 16:00 Morning Show Mysteries: Murder on the Menu Beloved cooking show host Billie Blessings finds herself in hot water when a dead body turns up in the car of one of her guests, a temperamental celebrity chef, with dark secrets in his past.

17:45 5 News Update Channel 5 HD | News.

18:00 Neighbours 18:30 Home and Away Dean brings Mackenzie to her scheduled abortion, worried about Ari who is out of the loop.

19:00 Cornwall’s Most Scenic Railway Journey A trip through Devon to the tip of Cornwall, going back in time to recapture the golden age of luxury train travel.

20:00 Traffic Cops 21:00 A&E After Dark A woman arrives by air ambulance after falling 30ft off a castle wall and is rushed to the CT scanner to check for any life-threatening internal injuries.

22:00 Casualty 24/7: Every Second Counts A miniheatwave results in an influx of patients at Barnsley Hospital.

23:05 Ambulance: Code Red

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04:50 - 09:00 Close 09:00 Four in a Bed 09:30 A New Life in the Sun: Road Trip 10:30 A Place in the Sun Carol longs to buy a holiday home for her and her husband on the island of Lanzarote.

13:30 Come Dine with Me 16:00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 17:00 A Place in the Sun 19:00 The Great Garden Revolution 20:00 The Dog House 21:00 Gogglebox 22:00 First Dates Hotel 23:05 Baby Surgeons: Delivering Miracles 00:10 Escape to the Chateau 01:15 Grand Designs

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09:15 10:05 12:05 13:05 14:15

16:55 17:55 18:55 19:55 21:00 22:00 23:05

DRAMA

18 124

A Place in the Sun: Home or Away Find It, Fix It, Flog It Heir Hunters A New Life in the Sun Four in a Bed The competition heads to the Old Times Guesthouse in Ipswich, where mother-and-daughter duo Linda and Kelly Langdown hope a gokarting session will be great.

Heir Hunters The Secret Life of the Zoo Escape to the Chateau: DIY Grand Designs World’s Greatest Shipwrecks: History Beneath the Waves Skeletons of the Mary Rose:

The New Evidence 24 Hours in A&E

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Birds of a Feather The Bill Classic Holby City Classic Casualty The Bill Classic EastEnders Doctor Finlay Dr Neil is alarmed that medical tests failed to reveal a patient’s illness.

All Creatures Great and Small Lovejoy Fresh Fields Waiting for God Last of the Summer Wine The Coroner Luther New Tricks Silent Witness The Last Post

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03:40 - 19:00 Close 19:00 River Walks: The Nidd 19:30 The Joy of Painting 20:00 Fake or Fortune? Fiona Bruce and Philip Mould investigate the origins of two paintings by unknown artists dating back to the 18th and 19th centuries, which unusually for the period, depict black subjects.

21:00 Mark Kermode’s Secrets of Cinema: British History Movies 22:00 Hurricanes and Heatwaves The Highs and Lows of British Weather 23:00 Rich Hall’s 00:30 The Joy of Painting 01:00 River Walks: The Nidd 01:30 Fake or Fortune?

3. May

ITV

TUESDAY 4. May

TUESDAY Main Channels

tv W ORD THE

To d ay ’s C h o i ce

Freeview HD

BBC1

BBC2

1

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Flog It!

5:15 pm - 6:00 pm A look back at some of the best finds made on the series, when experts including Michael Baggott, Anita Manning, Thomas Plant, Mark Stacey, David Harper and Catherine Southon located a gilded cherub and a collection of Victorian prints among many other items of interest. Plus, while in the grounds of Beaulieu Abbey in Hampshire, presenter Paul Martin recalls the story of the dissolution of the monasteries

NEW

The Chase

5:00 pm - 6:00 pm Bradley Walsh presents as contestants Tracy, Andy, George and Ellie pit their wits against one of the ruthless Chasers in the hope of winning a potential prize pot worth thousands of pounds. They work as a team and play strategically to answer general knowledge questions against the clock and race down the game board to the exit without being caught.

The Yorkshire Vet

8:00 pm - 9:00 pm Peter Wright is concerned about a tawny owl whose eye he removed 18 months ago and now has a serious problem with its remaining eye, which means its life is in danger.

Meanwhile, Julian Norton visits a local dairy farm to help a new mother, and back at the surgery he and his team battle to save a litter of unborn puppies.

Sky HD

101/106/110

06:00 Breakfast 09:15 Rip Off Britain 10:00 Homes Under the Hammer Dion Dublin looks round a chalet-style bungalow in the Derbyshire village of Kilburn and a three-bedroom end terrace in Huthwaite.

11:00 Dom Digs In 11:45 Close Calls: On Camera Two police officers and an air stewardess perform CPR on a lorry driver who has had a cardiac arrest at the wheel.

12:15 Bargain Hunt 13:00 BBC News at One; Weather 13:45 Doctors Jimmi helps a family struggling with the long-term physical and emotional effects of cancer over the course of a decade.

14:15 Impossible Rick Edwards hosts the quiz in which contestants compete for the chance to win £10,000, with a single `impossible” answer knocking them out for the day.

15:00 E scape to the Country Ginny Buckley helps a couple of Londoners who have £1million to spend on a detached property in the Essex countryside with lots of space for family and friends.

15:45 Money for Nothing JJ Chalmers is joined by artist Chloe Kempster and blacksmith Kev Paxton as they try to transform an unwanted writing bureau, car mechanic ramps and a hardwood coffee table.

16:30 The Repair Shop 17:15 Pointless 18:00 BBC News at Six; Weather 18:55 P arty Election Broadcast A party election broadcast by the Labour candidate for the London mayoral election.

19:00 The One Show Alex Jones presents the live magazine show featuring a mixture of celebrity chat and stories of interest.

19:30 EastEnders 19:50 Holby City The cause of Reyhan’s death prompts an investigation, putting Hanssen and Sahira’s already brittle relationship at breaking point.

20:30 For Love or Money Kym Marsh and Ashley John-Baptiste investigate the case of a man who thought he had found love on a dating site with a woman who began making demands for money.

21:00 The Syndicate 22:00 BBC News at Ten 22:45 Glow Up: Britain’s Next Make-Up Star The hopefuls are given a challenge by Cate Hall, the lead hair and make-up designer on awardwinning drama The Crown, demonstrating their knowledge of period make-up to create authentic and recognisable looks for a screen test.

23:45 Young, Welsh and Bossin’ It A celebration of the entrepreneurial spirit among the young.

Virgin HD

Freesat

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07:15 M oney for Nothing 08:00 Gardeners’ World Monty Don takes viewers through the next steps of chilli seed growth.

09:00 BBC News 12:15 Politics Live The latest stories from Westminster and beyond.

13:00 The Super League Show Tanya Arnold introduces action from the latest fixtures, including Wigan Warriors v Hull FC, Leigh Centurions v St Helens and Salford Red Devils v Castleford Tigers.

13:50 Getting the Builders In 14:35 800 Words Arlo still has not told Lindsey about his feelings for Poppy, and the stress of knowing what he is up to is beginning to take its toll on Billy.

15:15 Nature’s Microworlds Steve Backshall explores the Namib in south-west Africa, the oldest desert in the world.

15:45 Great Barrier Reef An exploration of Australia’s underwater ecosystem, one of the natural wonders of the world and the largest living structure on the planet.

16:45 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz in which the winners of famous game shows work as a team to tackle a new set of challengers hoping to win a cash prize.

17:15 F log It! A look back at some of the best finds made on the series, when experts including Michael Baggott, Anita Manning, Thomas Plant, Mark Stacey, David Harper and Catherine Southon located a gilded cherub and a collection of Victorian prints among many other items of interest.

18:00 Richard Osman’s House of Games Samira Ahmed, Dom Joly, Angela Rippon and John Robins go toe-to-toe testing their general knowledge skills in a variety of trivia-based games across the week.

18:30 Great British Railway Journeys 19:00 The Hairy Bikers’ Mediterranean Adventure 20:00 All That Glitters: Britain’s Next Jewellery Star Katherine Ryan hosts a contest in which eight talented jewellers battle it out to prove they can be the next big jewellery-making sensation.

21:00 Makeup: A Glamorous History In the final episode, makeup artist Lisa Eldridge explores her favourite era for makeup, beauty and glamour, Britain in the 1920s.

22:00 Have I Got a Bit More News for You 22:45 Newsnight Analysis of the day’s events, with Emily Maitlis.

23:30 S aved By a Stranger The stories of ordinary people caught up in the biggest events in living memory, and the person who changed their lives.

FREEVIEW ITV2 6 118 118

07:00 08:00 08:30 09:30 10:30 11:30 12:30 13:00 14:00 14:50 15:50 16:55 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 21:00 23:30 00:30

115 176

ITV3 10 113

The Ellen DeGeneres Show Emmerdale Coronation Street Supermarket Sweep Love Bites Dress to Impress Emmerdale Coronation Street The Ellen DeGeneres Show Love Bites Dress to Impress Take Me Out Celebrity Catchphrase You’ve Been Framed! Gold Superstore Bob’s Burgers Family Guy American Dad! Celebrity Juice

119 119

07:00 08:00 08:30 09:30 10:30 11:30 12:30 13:00 14:00 14:50 15:50 16:55 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 21:00 23:30 00:30

117 177

ITVBE 27 115

The Ellen DeGeneres Show Emmerdale Coronation Street Supermarket Sweep Love Bites Dress to Impress Emmerdale Coronation Street The Ellen DeGeneres Show Love Bites Dress to Impress Take Me Out Celebrity Catchphrase You’ve Been Framed! Gold Superstore Bob’s Burgers Family Guy American Dad! Celebrity Juice

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DAVE 118

Lily’s Driftwood Bay Percy’s Tiger Tales The Hive Sooty George and Paul Pingu in the City Bobo Ziggy and the Zoo Tram Pip Ahoy!

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Absolutely Ascot The Only Way Is Essex Million Dollar Listing: NYC The Real Housewives of New York City 17:00 The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 18:00 Masters of Flip 19:00 Buying and Selling

19

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Timber Kings American Pickers Storage Hunters UK American Pickers World’s Most Dangerous Roads QI XL Top Gear Rick Stein’s Spain World’s Most Dangerous Roads Top Gear Taskmaster Would I Lie to You? Room 101 QI XL Mock the Week Meet the Richardsons Would I Lie to You? Room 101 QI XL

TUESDAY CHANNEL4

3

CHANNEL5

4

Wales 7

103 103/803 103/176 103 103/113

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06:00 G ood Morning Britain Morning magazine featuring a lively mix of news and current affairs, plus health, entertainment and lifestyle features.

09:00 Lorraine Entertainment, current affairs and fashion news, as well as showbiz stories and celebrity gossip.

10:00 This Morning A mix of celebrity chat, lifestyle features, advice and competitions.

12:30 Loose Women More celebrity interviews and topical debate from a female perspective.

13:30 ITV Lunchtime News 14:00 D ickinson’s Real Deal David Dickinson helps members of the public at Cheltenham Racecourse in Gloucestershire sort the treasures from their trash.

15:00 Tenable Five university friends join forces to take on the Tenable tower, answering questions about top 10 lists, then trying to score a perfect 10 in the final round. Sally Lindsay hosts.

16:00 Tipping Point Ben Shephard hosts the quiz in which contestants answer questions to win turns on an arcade-style machine.

17:00 T he Chase Bradley Walsh presents as contestants Tracy, Andy, George and Ellie pit their wits against one of the ruthless Chasers in the hope of winning a potential prize pot worth thousands of pounds.

18:25 Party Election Broadcast By the Labour Party.

18:30 ITV Evening News 19:00 Emmerdale Liam proposes to Leyla. Mandy encourages Lydia.

19:30 A insley’s Mediterranean Cookbook Chef Ainsley Harriott visits the Italian island of Sardinia.

20:00 Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Jeremy Clarkson hosts the big-prize quiz in which another lineup of contestants answer questions that could change their lives - with the lifelines Ask the Audience, Phone a Friend, 50-50 and Ask the Host available to them if they get stuck.

21:00 Beat the Chasers 22:00 ITV News at Ten A fresh perspective on the major stories of the day, featuring national and international news, with reports and analysis from ITV’s correspondents.

22:30 ITV News London 22:45 The Savoy Staff at the London hotel prepare for Valentine’s Day, one of the busiest and most profitable nights of the year.

23:40 Beat the Chasers Jenny `The Vixen” Ryan, Anne `The Governess” Hegerty, Shaun `The Dark Destroyer” Wallace, Mark `The Beast” Labbett and Darragh `The Menace” Ennis come together to take on more contestants from across the country.

00:35 Shop: Ideal World

06:40 Cheers Part one of two. Coach falls for an unscrupulous woman who drops him when she wins the lottery, while Sam lusts after her daughter.

07:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:25 Escape to the Chateau: DIY Amy and Marc create an eco-friendly sewage system by connecting the chateau’s plumbing to two natural waste ponds 100 metres away.

11:25 Channel 4 News 11:30 Couples Come Dine with Me Three rival duos compete in Glasgow, where highlights include a bit of karaoke, a game of guess that tune and one menu inspired by moments in the couple’s relationship.

12:30 Steph’s Packed Lunch 14:10 Countdown Nick Hewer and Rachel Riley host the words-and-numbers game, with Jay Rayner joining Susie Dent in Dictionary Corner.

15:00 A Place in the Sun Yvonne and Graham want a holiday bolthole in the Algarve, as close as possible to the harbour and beach, so Ben Hillman lines up five contenders for their budget of £135,000.

16:00 A New Life in the Sun: Road Trip Fred Sirieix is in the Spanish region of Almería, where he meets two Britons setting up a glampsite inspired by Spaghetti Westerns and a couple of olive farmers.

17:00 Four in a Bed 17:30 B eat the Chef Chris Dickens hopes to win with his scallops, pea pureé and black pudding crumb.

18:00 The Simpsons 18:30 Hollyoaks Sienna is looking forward to going on a blind date, but Summer is hellbent on sabotaging her plans.

19:00 Channel 4 News 20:00 The Great Celebrity Bake Off for Stand Up to Cancer Noel Fielding and Sandi Toksvig welcome comedians Joe Lycett and Lee Mack, writer and actor Griff Rhys Jones and TV presenter Melanie Sykes to the famous tent.

21:00 The Money Maker 22:00 Naked Attraction Anna Richardson welcomes the oldest ever picker to the studio, 75-yearold naturist Ian from North Yorkshire.

23:05 The Secret Lives of Slim People Sabrina Grant examines the lives of more people who do not stick to a fitness regimen or seem to worry about what they eat, but do not have a problem with their weight and stay trim without trying.

00:05 Taskmaster Charlotte Ritchie, Jamali Maddix, Lee Mack, Mike Wozniak and Sarah Kendall continue their quest to curry favour with omnipotent Taskmaster Greg Davies.

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105

07:10 D aisy & Ollie The duo ask about travelling on a train.

07:20 Paw Patrol 07:30 Peppa Pig 07:45 Pip & Posy A royal new game has King Posy telling her subject, Pip, what to do.

08:00 The Adventures of Paddington 08:20 Paw Patrol Rubble leads the pups in building an emergency landing pad for Captain Gordy.

08:30 Ricky Zoom Ricky and his friends find a shaped badge that they believe gives them superpowers.

08:40 Floogals Captain 08:55 Wissper 09:00 Peppa Pig 09:05 Sunny Bunnies Turbo, Hopper, Boo, Iris and Shiny meet a robot.

09:15 J eremy Vine The broadcaster and guests discuss the issues of the day, with co-host Storm Huntley joining him for phone-ins and reading out viewers’ correspondence.

11:15 George Clarke’s Build a New Life in the Country 12:15 5 News at Lunchtime 12:20 Classic House Doctor A pink mansion in Edinburgh gets a makeover from Ann Maurice and Alistair Appleton.

13:15 H ome and Away Mac is in critical condition, and everyone rushes to save her, although her unborn baby’s life hangs in the balance.

13:45 Neighbours 14:15 A Prescription for Murder: Hailey Dean Mysteries The CEO of a hospital dies while a patient and Hailey helps the police with their investigations when her coroner boyfriend discovers that the woman had been poisoned.

16:00 Rich House, Poor House at Christmas The Hogans and Bucks swap homes and budgets for the week at Christmas time..

17:00 5 News at 5 17:30 Neighbours 18:00 Home and Away 18:30 5 News Tonight 19:00 Dream Kitchens and Bathrooms with Mark Millar The DIY expert helps homeowners transform the most important rooms in the house.

20:00 The Yorkshire Vet 21:00 Our Yorkshire Farm 22:00 QE2: The World’s Most Luxurious Hotel Documentary following life aboard the most famous ocean liner in the world, now a floating hotel in Dubai.

23:05 Late Life Lesbians 00:05 10 Years Younger in 10 Days Cherry Healey and the team help former girl band member Deb, who has had her share of struggles, and factory manager mum Umi.

FREEVIEW E4

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09:00 09:30 10:30 13:30 16:00 17:00 20:00 21:00 23:05 00:10 02:20 03:25

MORE4

13 122

Four in a Bed A New Life in the Sun: Road Trip A Place in the Sun Come Dine with Me Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA A Place in the Sun How to Save a Grand in 24

Hours Gogglebox The Money Maker Naked Attraction Location, Location, Location T he Great Garden Revolution People around the country transform outdoor spaces with the help of designer Joel Bird, gardener Poppy Okotcha and craftsman Bruce Kenneth.

136 136 147 195

08:55 09:15 10:05 12:05 13:05 14:15 16:55 17:55

DRAMA

18 124

Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures A Place in the Sun Find It, Fix It, Flog It Heir Hunters A New Life in the Sun Four in a Bed Heir Hunters The Secret Life of the Zoo at

Christmas Escape to the Chateau: DIY Grand Designs Car S.O.S. How to Build British: Aston Martin 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 24 Hours in A&E Car S.O.S. How to Build British: Aston

18:55 19:55 21:00 22:00 23:05 00:05 01:15 02:15 Martin 03:20 Food Unwrapped

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Teleshopping Birds of a Feather The Bill Classic Holby City Classic Casualty The Bill Classic EastEnders Doctor Finlay All Creatures Great and Small Lovejoy Fresh Fields Waiting for God Last of the Summer Wine The Inspector Lynley Mysteries New Tricks Silent Witness Nikki and the Lyell unit are called in to investigate an attack against a transgender man.

01:35 The Bill

BBC4 9 Scot 24 106 116 116

107

107

03:30 - 19:00 Close 19:00 River Walks: The Severn 19:30 The Joy of Painting 20:00 Yes Minister 20:30 To the Manor Born 21:00 The Violence Paradox Psychologist Steven Pinker journeys through history and the human mind to explore what triggers violence and how it may have decreased over time.

22:50 Horizon: Is Your Brain Male or Female?

23:50 Tales of Winter: The Art of Snow and Ice 01:20 The Joy of Painting 01:50 River Walks: The Severn 02:20 The Violence Paradox

4. May

ITV

WEDNESDAY 5. May

WEDNESDAY Main Channels

tv W ORD THE

To d ay ’s C h o i ce

Freeview HD

BBC1

BBC2

1

101 101/801 115/101 101 108/101

06:00 09:15 10:00 11:00

11:45 12:15

Money for Nothing

3:45 pm - 4:30 pm Sarah Moore enlists screen print designer Daniel Heath and clock restorer Paul Parry to rejuvenate an old writing bureau and a 1940s mantle clock. She also tries to cultivate something sellable from fragrant bags of garden waste

13:00 13:45 14:15

15:00

15:45 16:30

Great Barrier Reef

3:45 pm - 4:45 pm Monty Halls explores the extraordinary ecosystem that covers an area larger than Great Britain, revealing that only seven per cent of it is coral reef. The rest is a variety of interconnected habitats, including hundreds of islands, mangrove swamps, deep-water gardens, vast sand flats, meadows of sea grass and what is said to be the world’s oldest jungle. All are interconnected by a giant deep-water lagoon - and all are full of amazing wildlife

17:15 18:00 19:00 19:30

20:00 21:00 22:00 22:45 23:45

A New Life in the Sun: Road Trip

4:00 pm - 5:00 pm Fred Sirieix’s tour of Europe takes him to the Périgord-Limousin National Park, where he spent his childhood.

He meets two green-fingered Britons who have just launched a plant nursery, and checks in with a Jersey couple launching a gîte business and two Londoners trying to set up a log cabin business at the edge of their lake.

00:15

01:05 01:10

Sky HD

101/106/110

Breakfast Rip Off Britain Homes Under the Hammer Dom Digs In Dom Littlewood lifts the lid on what really happens to Britain’s waste, finding out how non-recyclable rubbish is turned into energy to power homes and businesses Close Calls: On Camera A father braves a house fire to save his daughter.

B argain Hunt Christina Trevanion presents as two teams search for antiques in Leominster, Herefordshire, led by experts Kate and Tim. BBC News at One; Weather Doctors Valerie faces a choice - does she want to a medical career or a life of showbusiness glitz and glamour?

Impossible Rick Edwards hosts the quiz in which contestants compete for the chance to win £10,000, with a single `impossible” answer knocking them out for the day.

Escape to the Country Jules Hudson searches for a Cambridgeshire home for a young couple with a £570,000 budget who want to escape suburban Kent.

Money for Nothing The Repair Shop Vintage bike restorer Tim Gunn brings all his skill to bear on a wartime bicycle once owned and used by a Bletchley Park code breaker.

Pointless BBC News at Six; Weather The One Show Alex Jones presents the live magazine show featuring a mixture of celebrity chat and stories of interest.

Am I British? - Panorama Reporter Greg McKenzie meets young people born or brought up in the UK who say Home Office immigration policy treats them as second class citizens.

The Repair Shop Steve Fletcher works on a mantle clock in the shape of a ship, a treasured gift from the owner’s late grandfather.

The Great British Sewing Bee The contestants go global, taking on garments and techniques from around the world.

BBC News at Ten Unsolved: An Alibi for Omar?

Boxing: Canelo Alvarez A profile of the Mexican boxer, who has won world titles in four different weight classes.

I Can See Your Voice Paddy McGuinness hosts the mystery singing game show, in which contestants aided by a celebrity panel must spot good singers without hearing them.

Weather for the Week Ahead BBC News

Virgin HD

2

102 102/802 102/115 102 102

08:00 08:30 09:00 11:15 13:00

13:45 14:30 15:15 15:45

16:45

17:15

18:00 18:30

19:00 20:00

21:00

22:00

22:45 23:25 23:30 00:30

Freesat

102/110/106

See Hear eechgrove B BBC News P olitics Live The latest stories from Westminster and beyond.

Head Hunters Rob Beckett hosts the penultimate episode of the quiz in which contestants choose between working together or going it alone to claim the prize for themselves.

Getting the Builders In Christine and Jim need a garden overhaul in Urmston, Greater Manchester.

8 00 Words After what happened with Poppy and Arlo, George and Woody still are not talking, but Hannah has a radical plan to sort them out.

Nature’s Microworlds Great Barrier Reef Monty Halls explores the extraordinary ecosystem that covers an area larger than Great Britain, revealing that only seven per cent of it is coral reef.

Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz in which the winners of famous game shows work as a team to tackle a new set of challengers hoping to win a cash prize.

F log It! A collection of the best finds from the show’s travels, visiting Lulworth Castle in Dorset, Chiddingstone Castle in Kent, Wrest Park, Bedfordshire and Gloucester Cathedral.

Richard Osman’s House of Games Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo’s travels resume in leafy Hertfordshire, where he attempts a canoe slalom course, and visits the estate of Dame Barbara Cartland.

The Hairy Bikers’ Mediterranean Adventure Great British Menu Chefs Dave Critchley, Dan McGeorge, Ashwani Rangta and Kirk Haworth compete for the North West of England with canapes, starters and fish dishes inspired by British invention and innovation.

The Battle for Britney: Fans, Cash and a

Conservatorship Mobeen Azhar attempts to untangle the complexities surrounding the controversial conservatorship Britney Spears has been under for the last 13 years.

QI XL Guests Colin Lane, Sarah Millican and Noel Fielding join regular panellist Alan Davies and host Sandi Toksvig to contemplate the theme `numbers” in this extended episode.

Newsnight Analysis of the day’s events, with Emily Maitlis Weather The Detectives: Fighting Organised Crime See Hear Exploring Asian hate crime, deaf people doing jury service, still-life painting and the Deaf Mosaic exhibition.

FREEVIEW ITV2 6 118 118

07:00 08:00 08:30 09:30 10:30 11:30 12:30 13:00 14:00 14:50 15:50 16:55 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 21:00 22:00

115 176

ITV3 10 113

119 119

The Ellen DeGeneres Show Emmerdale You’ve Been Framed! Gold Supermarket Sweep Love Bites Dress to Impress Emmerdale You’ve Been Framed! Presents Top 100 Shockers The Ellen DeGeneres Show Love Bites Dress to Impress Take Me Out Celebrity Special Celebrity Catchphrase You’ve Been Framed! Gold Superstore Bob’s Burgers Family Guy Plebs

07:00 08:05 09:15 09:50 10:20 11:30 12:40 13:45 14:50 15:55 17:55 19:00 20:00 22:05 23:05 00:10 02:10

117 177

ITVBE 27 115

Classic Emmerdale Heartbeat That’s My Boy George and Mildred Agatha Christie’s Poirot Wycliffe Heartbeat Classic Emmerdale Classic Coronation Street Foyle’s War Agatha Christie’s Poirot Wycliffe Endeavour Law & Order: UK Bancroft A Touch of Frost ITV3 Nightscreen Text-based information servic 02:30 Teleshopping

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119 179

09:50 10:05 10:25 10:40 11:05 11:30 11:45 12:00 12:25 13:25 14:25 15:10 16:05

DAVE 118

Percy’s Tiger Tales The Hive Sooty Claude Pingu in the City Ziggy and the Zoo Tram Pip Ahoy!

Best Cake Wins The Real Housewives of Atlanta Absolutely Ascot The Only Way Is Marbs Million Dollar Listing: NYC The Real Housewives of New York City 17:00 Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 18:00 Masters of Flip 19:00 Buying and Selling 20:00 Dinner Date 21:00 Totally Unbelievable

19

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127 227

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07:10 Timber Kings 08:00 American Pickers 09:00 Storage Hunters UK 10:00 American Pickers 12:00 World’s Most Dangerous Roads 13:00 QI XL 14:00 Top Gear 15:00 Rick Stein’s Spain 16:00 World’s Most Dangerous Roads 17:00 Top Gear Botswana Special 18:00 Taskmaster 19:00 Would I Lie to You? 19:40 Room 101 21:00 QI XL 22:00 Have I Got a Bit More Old News for You 23:00 Mock the Week 23:40 Would I Lie to You? 00:20 Room 101

WEDNESDAY CHANNEL4

3

CHANNEL5

4

Wales 7

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103/111

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06:00 G ood Morning Britain Morning magazine featuring a lively mix of news and current affairs, plus health, entertainment and lifestyle features.

09:00 Lorraine Entertainment, current affairs and fashion news, as well as showbiz stories and celebrity gossip. Presented by Lorraine Kelly 10:00 This Morning A mix of celebrity chat, lifestyle features, advice and competitions.

12:30 Loose Women Another helping of topical studio discussion from a female perspective, featuring celebrity interviews 13:30 ITV Lunchtime News 14:00 D ickinson’s Real Deal David Dickinson helps members of the public in Lincoln sort the treasures from their trash.

15:00 Tenable A team of five family members answer questions about top 10 lists, then try to score a perfect 10 in the final round. Presented by Sally Lindsay.

16:00 Tipping Point Ben Shephard hosts the quiz in which contestants answer questions to win turns on an arcade-style machine.

17:00 T he Chase Bradley Walsh presents as contestants Eva, Jack, Emma and Gary pit their wits against one of the ruthless Chasers in the hope of winning a potential prize pot worth thousands of pounds.

18:30 ITV Evening News 19:00 Emmerdale Brenda accuses Faith, Mandy and Sam coach Lydia, and Liv is tempted.

19:30 C oronation Street While Abi and Kevin enjoy their respective hen and stag parties, Asha and Summer discover they have been partying in a stolen car, and Seb and Nina suffer a vicious attack.

20:00 Paul O’Grady: For the Love of Dogs Paul meets more dogs struggling to find a home, including a golden retriever with an incontinence problem and a boisterous border collie with a bad hip - who needs Paul’s help in the hydrotherapy centre.

20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Beat the Chasers Jenny `The Vixen” Ryan, Anne `The Governess” Hegerty, Shaun `The Dark Destroyer” Wallace, Mark `The Beast” Labbett and Darragh `The Menace” Ennis come together to take on contestants from across the country.

22:00 ITV News at Ten 22:45 Peston Political magazine show presented by Robert Peston, featuring major interviews with MPs, topical guests and cultural figures.

23:40 Beat the Chasers 00:30 Shop: Ideal World

07:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Frasier Daphne helps Frasier make up his mind whether he should sneak an on-air endorsement for a Chinese restaurant into his radio show.

10:25 Escape to the Chateau: DIY Tim and Rebecca struggle to get their kilometre-long driveway ready for the arrival of their guests. Amy and Marc unearth an original medieval fireplace.

11:25 Channel 4 News Summary 11:30 Couples Come Dine with Me In Newcastle, three couples compete to host the best dinner party and win the £1,000 cash prize.

12:30 Steph’s Packed Lunch Steph McGovern presents the weekday magazine, including studio chat on the latest stories, celebrity guests, food ideas, and lifestyle and consumer features.

14:10 Countdown 15:00 A Place in the Sun Newlyweds Debbie and John go looking for a new life and home on the Costa del Sol with help from Jean Johansson, who lines up five potential properties for their £250,000 budget.

16:00 A New Life in the Sun: Road Trip Fred Sirieix’s tour of Europe takes him to the PérigordLimousin National Park, where he spent his childhood.

17:00 Four in a Bed 17:30 Beat the Chef Leading chef Sophie Michell takes on amateur cook Becca Ballard, as they both serve up desserts in a salted caramel sauce. Hosted by Andi Oliver 18:00 The Simpsons 18:30 Hollyoaks Brody confronts Sienna and asks her to stop harassing his girlfriend, Luke tries to deal with some shocking news, and Marco applies to be Trish’s new assistant.

19:00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather 20:00 Location, Location, Location Two sets of house-hunters look for properties in north London. Kirstie Allsopp is with single mum and businesswoman Digi, who has £1.25million to find the perfect place for her, daughter Emily and mum Queelan.

21:00 First Dates Hotel 22:00 Johnny Vegas: Carry on Glamping Glamping is on the rise in Britain, and it’s no longer just a posh tent in a field.

23:05 Gogglebox 00:05 Wife Swap USA Two more couples from different backgrounds switch spouses - and sparks are set to fly this week as an animal conservationist swaps lives with a hunter who runs a shooting preserve

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08:00 T he Adventures of Paddington 08:20 Paw Patrol Gustavo Goodway’s guitar goes missing and the pups need to find it before the evening campfire concert 08:30 R icky Zoom Loop starts to think he is a real rescue bike after Officer Bunker gives him a pretend medal for getting Buster’s ball out of a tree.

08:40 Floogals 08:55 Wissper Samson Lion prevents Gertie and Otis from getting any rest, so Dan Panda teaches him tai chi to try and calm him down.

9:00 Peppa Pig 09:05 Sunny Bunnies Hopper and Boo are both aces when it comes to hitting a target, so face off to a win very cool racing bicycle.

09:15 J eremy Vine The broadcaster and guests discuss the issues of the day, with co-host Storm Huntley joining him for phone-ins and reading out viewers’ correspondence.

11:15 George Clarke’s Build a New Life in the Country 12:15 5 News at Lunchtime Round-up of the day’s headlines from around the world.

12:20 Classic House Doctor Property expert Ann Maurice offers advice to a Perthshire woman whose split-level bungalow in Crieff has been on the market for five years.

13:15 H ome and Away 13:45 Neighbours A mysterious woman arrives, offering help to Ned at The Hive.

14:15 Killer Secrets Single mother Kerry returns to her home town after receiving news that her estranged father has died.

16:00 Rich House, Poor House 17:00 5 News at 5 17:30 Neighbours A mysterious woman arrives, offering help to Ned at The Hive.

18:00 Home and Away Mia and Ari reminisce about their lost child, Nikau cannot handle Ryder and Chloe’s loved-up state, and John has to deal with the world once again.

18:30 5 News Tonight 19:00 Mega Volcano: Draining the Pacific The dangerous geological forces in the Pacific Ring of Fire, an area infamous for volcanic eruptions, earthquakes and tsunamis.

20:00 Police Interceptors 21:00 Here Come the Gypsies! Gypsy scrap metal worker John finds himself in a tight spot when the falling price of scrap leaves him short of cash to buy a special gift for his daughter.

22:00 Police Raids: Caught by Surprise Cameras follow enforcement agencies carrying out raids across Britain.

23:05 Inside the Force: 24/7 00:05 Criminals: Caught on Camera

FREEVIEW E4

MORE4

13

135 135 106 145

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04:50 - 09:00 Close 09:00 Four in a Bed 09:30 A New Life in the Sun: Road Trip 10:30 A Place in the Sun 13:30 Come Dine with Me 16:00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 17:00 A Place in the Sun 20:00 Escape to the Chateau 21:00 999: On the Front Line 22:00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 02:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 03:05 First Dates Hotel 04:05 J amie: Keep Cooking Family Favourites Jamie Oliver prepares spiced cauliflower rice pie and a vegetable curry, and demonstrates an unusual technique.

136 136 147 195

03:50 08:55 09:15 10:05 12:05 13:05 14:15 16:55 17:55 18:55 19:55

21:00 22:00 23:05 00:15 01:15

DRAMA

18 124

- 08:55 Close Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures A Place in the Sun Find It, Fix It, Flog It Heir Hunters A New Life in the Sun Four in a Bed Heir Hunters The Secret Life of the Zoo Escape to the Chateau: DIY Grand Designs Identical twins Nik and Jon Daughtry build two near-identical houses next door to each other in Sheffield.

Building the Dream Grand Designs Australia 24 Hours in A&E 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown Building the Dream

143

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158

Teleshopping Birds of a Feather The Bill Classic Holby City Classic Casualty The Bill Classic EastEnders Doctor Finlay All Creatures Great and Small Lovejoy French Fields Waiting for God L ast of the Summer Wine Truly decides to put his extensive police training to good use by roping Compo and Clegg into his newly formed active rescue team.

20:00 Judge John Deed 22:00 New Tricks

BBC4 9 Scot 24 106 116 116

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107

03:15 - 19:00 Close 19:00 River Walks: The Dart 19:30 The Joy of Painting 20:00 Digging for Britain 21:00 The 1951 Festival of Britain: Brave New World 22:00 The Treasure Hunters Dallas Campbell and Ellie Harrison present the first of two programmes in which they embark on the ultimate treasure.

23:00 Handmade 23:30 Bacchus Uncovered: Ancient God of Ecstasy 00:30 The Joy of Painting 01:00 River Walks: The Dart 01:30 The 1951 Festival of Britain: Brave New World 02:30 The Violence Paradox

5. May

ITV

THURSDAY 6. May

THURSDAY Main Channels

tv W ORD THE

To d ay ’s C h o i ce

Freeview HD

BBC1

BBC2

1

101 101/801 115/101 101 108/101

Pointless

5:15 pm - 6:00 pm Quiz in which contestants try to score the fewest points possible by giving the least obvious correct answers to questions. Presented by Alexander Armstrong, with Richard Osman.

Tenable

3:00 pm - 3:59 pm A team of workmates answer Top 10 list questions and attempt to top the Tenable tower to win a big cash prize. Quiz show, hosted by Sally Lindsay.

Neighbours

5:30 pm - 6:00 pm Paul puts his best side forward for Sheila Canning. The other Sheila feels guilty for keeping a package, and wants to make amends. Patients start refusing treatment from Karl.

Sky HD

101/106/110

06:00 Breakfast 09:15 Rip Off Britain Angela Rippon, Gloria Hunniford and Julia Somerville meet the devoted dog owners who insured their precious pets only to find out it didn’t pay out when disaster struck.

10:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 Dom Digs In 11:45 Close Calls: On Camera More stories of near misses, featuring a teenage girl crashing into a bridge during a go-kart race, while her anxious parents watch in the stands.

12:15 Bargain Hunt David Harper and Gary Pe guide two teams scouring Southwell Racecourse in Nottinghamshire for bargains to take to auction.

13:00 BBC News at One; Weather 13:45 Doctors 14:15 Impossible Rick Edwards hosts the quiz in which contestants compete for the chance to win £10,000, with a single `impossible” answer knocking them out for the day 15:00 Escape to the Country 15:45 Money for Nothing Jacqui Joseph goes on the lookout for quality discards at Walsall Recycling Centre, in the West Midlands.

16:30 The Repair Shop Metalworker Dominic Chinea welcomes 93-year-old Dora Paul to the workshop, along with the unusual item she’s brought in for repair - an old tram seat that once ferried passengers on the number 81 tram in Salford.

17:15 Pointless 18:00 BBC News at Six; Weather 19:00 The One Show Alex Jones co-hosts the live magazine show featuring a mixture of celebrity chat and stories of interest 19:30 EastEnders 20:00 Dragons’ Den Self-made millionaires Peter Jones, Deborah Meaden, Touker Suleyman, Tej Lalvani and Sara Davies observe a pitch by a plucky entrepreneur with lofty ambitions for his genetically personalised meal shakes.

21:00 Ian Wright: Home Truths The footballer-turnedbroadcaster investigates what effect growing up in a psychologically abusive and violent home has on children in the UK. 22:00 BBC News at Ten 22:40 Weather 22:45 Question Time Fiona Bruce introduces the weekly topical debate, with a panel of politicians and other guests facing questions from an audience made up of members of the general public 23:45 Royal Wedding: A Day to Remember 00:45 Weather for the Week Ahead

Virgin HD

Freesat

2

102 102/802 102/115 102 102

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08:00 A ttenborough’s Life in Colour David Attenborough reveals the extraordinary ways that some animals use colour to hide and disappear into the background.

09:00 BBC News 13:00 Head Hunters Rob Beckett hosts the quiz in which a primary school teacher, a legal writer and a retired telemarketer must choose between working together or going it alone to claim the prize for themselves 13:45 Getting the Builders In 14:30 800 Words George receives the news that his wife Laura’s killer may soon be out on parole, while Shay and Siouxsie pick up a mysterious stranger in their car 15:15 Nature’s Microworlds The vast majority of life on Earth is under the sea, particularly in deep waters.

15:45 Great Barrier Reef Monty Halls reveals how the Great Barrier Reef is vitally linked to the rest of the planet in many ways.

16:45 Eggheads 17:15 F log It! At Gloucester Cathedral, presenter Paul Martin and experts Philip Serrell and Michael Baggott unearth some unusual items among the antiques and collectibles brought along to the valuation day.

18:00 Richard Osman’s House of Games Samira Ahmed, Dom Joly, Angela Rippon and John Robins test their general knowledge skills ahead of Friday’s all-important final 18:30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo heads for the Hertfordshire village of Perry Green to learn about Henry Moore became one of the defining artists of British modernism.

19:00 Rick Stein’s Long Weekends The chef embarks on a series of extended culinary breaks, visiting markets, restaurants, wineries, cafes and bars, looking for food excellence and also some innovative recipes that will encourage viewers to cook at home.

20:00 Great British Menu The remaining chefs compete with dishes inspired by British invention and innovation.

21:00 Saved By a Stranger Cameras focus on Marc, a public health worker who was diagnosed with HIV aged 17 in the late 1980s.

22:00 Mock the Week 22:30 Mandy After advertising her home on Airbnb, Mandy takes in a guest from Russia - and they soon become more than friends.

22:45 Newsnight Analysis of the day’s events, with Mark Urban and Kirsty Wark 23:25 Weather 23:30 Up in the Air

FREEVIEW ITV2 6 118 118

08:30 09:30 10:30 11:30 12:30 13:00 13:30 14:00 14:50 15:50 16:55 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 21:00 22:00 22:50 23:20

115 176

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Coronation Street Supermarket Sweep Love Bites Dress to Impress Emmerdale Coronation Street Coronation Street The Ellen DeGeneres Show Love Bites Dress to Impress Take Me Out 80s Special Celebrity Catchphrase You’ve Been Framed! Gold Superstore Bob’s Burgers Family Guy Celebrity Juice Family Guy American Dad!

119 119

06:00 07:00 08:05 09:15 09:50 10:20 11:30 12:40 13:45 14:50 15:55 17:55 19:00 20:00 22:05 23:05 00:20

117 177

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Classic Coronation Street Classic Emmerdale Heartbeat That’s My Boy George and Mildred Agatha Christie’s Poirot Wycliffe Heartbeat Classic Emmerdale Classic Coronation Street Foyle’s War Agatha Christie’s Poirot Wycliffe The Cornish copper looks into a lone yachtswoman’s mysterious disappearance.

Lewis Law & Order: UK Agatha Christie’s Poirot A Touch of Frost

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The Hive Sooty Claude Ollie Bobo Claude Shorts Ziggy and the Zoo Tram Pip Ahoy!

Best Cake Wins The Real Housewives of Atlanta Absolutely Ascot The Only Way Is Essex Million Dollar Listing: NYC The Real Housewives of New York City 17:00 The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 18:00 Masters of Flip 19:00 Buying and Selling

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Teleshopping Timber Kings American Pickers Storage Hunters UK American Pickers World’s Most Dangerous Roads QI XL Top Gear Botswana Special Rick Stein’s Far Eastern Odyssey World’s Most Dangerous Roads Top Gear Taskmaster Would I Lie to You? Room 101 QI XL Meet the Richardsons Hypothetical Mock the Week Would I Lie to You?

THURSDAY CHANNEL4

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CHANNEL5

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06:00 Good Morning Britain 09:00 Lorraine Entertainment, current affairs and fashion news, as well as showbiz stories and celebrity gossip. Presented by Lorraine Kelly 10:00 This Morning Daily magazine, featuring a mix of celebrity chat, showbusiness news, lifestyle features, topical discussion, health and beauty advice and more 12:30 Loose Women The women put the world to rights once more, discussing everything from politics to parenting, and invite a celebrity guest to chat about what they are up to - or anything else that takes their fancy 13:30 ITV Lunchtime News 14:00 D ickinson’s Real Deal The dealers arrive in Staffordshire, where David Dickinson gives Karen Dalmeny a hard time over a large stash of gold.

15:00 Tenable A team of workmates answer Top 10 list questions and attempt to top the Tenable tower to win a big cash prize. Quiz show, hosted by Sally Lindsay 16:00 Tipping Point Ben Shephard hosts the quiz in which contestants answer questions to win turns on an arcade-style machine.

17:00 T he Chase Bradley Walsh presents as Jackie, Tommy, Craig and Victoria pit their wits against one of the ruthless Chasers in the hope of winning a potential prize pot worth thousands of pounds.

18:00 ITV News London 18:30 ITV Evening News 19:00 Emmerdale Lydia is arrested, Faith flirts with Pollard, and Charles wants explanations 19:30 Cheats, Fiddles and Scams: Protecting Your Money? Tonight Part one of two. It is one of the cruellest crimes - scammers who rip off the vulnerable.

20:00 Emmerdale Mandy accuses Nicola, Chas is furious, and Pollard tries to explain himself 20:30 Britain’s Brightest Celebrity Family Two celebrity families battle to secure a place in the final of this knockout tournament, hoping to win £25,000 for their chosen charity and the title of Britain’s Brightest Celebrity Family.

21:00 Beat the Chasers 22:00 ITV News at Ten 22:45 Unbelievable Moments Caught on Camera 23:45 Beat the Chasers Jenny `The Vixen” Ryan, Anne `The Governess” Hegerty, Shaun `The Dark Destroyer” Wallace, Mark `The Beast” Labbett and Darragh `The Menace” Ennis come together to take on more contestants from across the country.

00:40 Shop: Ideal World

104 104/804/108 104/138/108 104/108 104/141 104/106

07:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Frasier Frederick announces he is unable to visit at Christmas, prompting a dejected Frasier to volunteer to work over the festive period.

10:25 Escape to the Chateau: DIY 11:25 Channel 4 News Summary 11:30 Couples Come Dine with Me Married couple Lynne and Ian kick off the competition in Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, with a menu of hearty treats.

12:30 S teph’s Packed Lunch Steph McGovern presents the weekday magazine, including celebrity guests, food ideas, real-life features and entertainment, lifestyle and consumer stories.

14:10 C ountdown Nick Hewer and Rachel Riley present the words-and-numbers game, with Samira Ahmed joining Susie Dent in Dictionary Corner.

15:00 A Place in the Sun Jo and Neil are about to start their next big adventure and move from their home in Exeter to start a new life in Lecce in southern Italy.

16:00 A New Life in the Sun: Road Trip 17:00 Four in a Bed The final visit is to the Beach House in Portland, Dorset, where Pete Lacey feels his back-to-basics approach offers his guests good value.

17:30 Beat the Chef Jaya Mistry spices up the competition, challenging chef Frederick Forster to her family Indian recipe to help her win the £10,000 prize.

18:00 The Simpsons 18:30 Hollyoaks Summer takes drastic measures to stop Warren seeing his children, and Luke’s mum Sue makes it clear that she thinks Mandy is a more suitable match for her son than Cindy 19:00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather 20:00 The Dog House Married couple Dexter and Aaron are looking for a fluffy, chunky dog.

21:00 Taskmaster Greg Davies sets tasks to Sarah Kendall, Charlotte Ritchie, Jamali Maddix, Lee Mack and Mike Wozniak.

22:00 Frank of Ireland 22:30 Naked Attraction Anna Richardson welcomes the oldest ever picker to the studio, 75-yearold naturist Ian from North Yorkshire.

23:35 First Dates Hotel 00:35 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA Gordon Ramsay heads to Nashville, Tennessee, the spiritual home of country music, but his visit begins on a sour note at Chappy’s Cajun restaurant.

01:25 Trip Hazard: My Great British Adventure Rosie Jones is joined by fellow comedian Jenny Eclair for an `outdoorsy” adventure on the island of Anglesey in north Wales.

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08:00 T he Adventures of Paddington 08:20 Paw Patrol The Turbots get trapped somewhere in the jungle.

08:30 Ricky Zoom Helen allows Toot to take over as emergency dispatcher for the day 08:40 Floogals 08:55 Wissper Frank and Betty’s baby flamingo gets stuck up a tree which is teetering on the edge of a cliff and about to fall into a lake.

09:00 Peppa Pig 09:15 J eremy Vine The broadcaster and guests discuss the issues of the day, with co-host Storm Huntley joining him for phone-ins and reading out viewers’ correspondence.

11:15 George Clarke’s Build a New Life in the Country George advises two accountants as they quit their jobs and set off to renovate a 200-yearold barn in Devon.

12:15 5 News at Lunchtime 12:20 Classic House Doctor 13:15 H ome and Away Bella gets fed up with Ryder and Chloe, the Surf Club is in a shambles on account of John trusting Susie.

13:45 Neighbours Paul puts his best side forward for Sheila Canning.

14:15 Flower Shop Mystery: Snipped in the Bud Exlawyer florist Abby delivers black roses at college, but returning minutes later, she finds an old rival murdered.

16:00 Rich House, Poor House 17:00 5 News at 5 17:30 Neighbours Paul puts his best side forward for Sheila Canning.

18:00 Home and Away Bella gets fed up with Ryder and Chloe, the Surf Club is in a shambles on account of John trusting Susie.

18:30 5 News Tonight 19:00 Gardening with Carol Klein At Glebe Cottage in Devon, Carol Klein shows viewers how to grow some of the nation’s favourite soft fruit, including raspberries and blackcurrants.

20:00 Escape to the Farm with Kate Humble Almost a decade after planting 1,000 trees around Kate’s Monmouthshire farm, it’s time to thin the young trees.

21:00 The Abduction of Milly Dowler 22:30 White House Farm Murders: The New Evidence Examining the case of Jeremy Bamber, who was convicted of murdering both of his parents, his sister and her six-year-old twin sons at the family farmhouse in Essex in August 1985.

23:30 A&E After Dark 00:30 Criminals: Caught on Camera Documentary showing how CCTV and other technological advances are helping to bring thieves to justice.

FREEVIEW E4

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09:00 09:30 10:30 13:30 16:00 17:00 19:00

20:00 21:00 22:00 00:15 01:20

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Four in a Bed A New Life in the Sun: Road Trip A Place in the Sun Come Dine with Me Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA A Place in the Sun Kirstie and Phil’s Love It or List It Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer meet a couple in Rushden in Northamptonshire who are unsure whether they should renovate their current home or sell up and move into another.

Location, Location, Location Gogglebox Assassin’s Creed 999: On the Front Line Taskmaster

DRAMA

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3:50 - 8:55 Close 08:55 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures 09:15 A Place in the Sun 10:05 Find It, Fix It, Flog It 12:05 Heir Hunters 13:05 A New Life in the Sun 14:15 Four in a Bed 16:55 Heir Hunters The probate detectives receive a case from America with a strong showbusiness connection.

17:55 The Secret Life of the Zoo 18:55 Escape to the Chateau: DIY 19:55 Grand Designs 21:00 Coroner 22:00 Bridesmaids’ Secrets and Lies 23:05 24 Hours in A&E 00:10 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 01:15 New Amsterdam

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Birds of a Feather The Bill Classic Holby City Classic Casualty The Bill Classic EastEnders Doctor Finlay All Creatures Great and Small Lovejoy French Fields Waiting for God L ast of the Summer Wine Compo meets a childhood rival and blackmails him into competitions.

Dalziel & Pascoe New Tricks Silent Witness The Bill

BBC4 9 Scot 24 106 116 116

107

107

03:25 - 19:00 Close 19:00 River Walks: The Lea 19:30 The Joy of Painting American artist Bob Ross reveals how to capture on canvas the beauty of a still winter’s day, with a happy sun shining bright in the sky.

20:00 Citizen Kane After the death of an influential newspaper magnate, an inquisitive reporter begins piecing together the details of his life.

22:00 The Eyes of Orson Welles 23:40 Handmade 00:10 A History of Art in Three Colours 01:10 The Joy of Painting 01:40 River Walks: The Lea 02:10 Mark Kermode’s Secrets of Cinema: British History Movies

6. May

ITV

FRIDAY 7. May

FRIDAY Main Channels

tv W ORD THE

Freeview HD

To d ay ’s C h o i ce

BBC1

BBC2

1

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Rick Stein’s Long Weekends

7:30 pm - 8:30 pm The chef heads north towards the Arctic Circle to explore the culinary delights of Reykjavik, coastal capital of Iceland. His aim is to enjoy the perfect winter break, enriched with a smorgasbord featuring the best ingredients the country has to offer - fjord-reared roast lamb, rye bread baked in volcanic sand and langoustine soup. Rick also resumes his search for the perfect cod

NEW Coronation Street

7:30 pm - 8:00 pm Worried sick about Seb, Abi asks Kevin to cancel their wedding. Corey covers his tracks by telling Kelly to say nothing, while Asha is oblivious to their involvement in the attack

Beat the Chef

5:30 pm - 6:00 pm Home cook Lulu Marodeen brings tinned salmon to take on Mark Sargeant. A battle of the bananas commences, as Michelin-starred chef Mark turns out a fruity tarte Tatin with ginger biscuits. Will Lulu be tasting sweet success with the jury or will soggy pastry leave her chances of £10,000 in tatters? Presented

by Andi Oliver.

Sky HD

101/106/110

06:00 Breakfast 09:15 Rip Off Britain Angela Rippon, Gloria Hunniford and Julia Somerville report on the homeowners whose garden sheds have been left facing the axe, due to their local council’s planning regulations.

10:00 Homes Under the Hammer The presenters follow the development progress of a two-bedroom flat in Grays in Essex, a cottage in the village of Lochearnhead in the Highlands of Scotland and a house in Selston, Nottinghamshire 11:00 Dom Digs In 11:45 Close Calls: On Camera 12:15 Bargain Hunt Charlie Ross hosts from the Ardingly International Antiques Fair, West Sussex, with experts Philip Serrell and Roo Irvine ready to help the two teams as they vie to see who can buy the most profitable three items to take to auction.

13:00 BBC News at One; Weather 13:45 Impossible Rick Edwards hosts the quiz in which contestants compete for the chance to win £10,000, with a single `impossible” answer knocking them out for the day.

14:30 Elections 2021 Live coverage of the outcome of yesterday’s elections, as results are announced.

18:00 BBC News at Six; Weather 19:00 The One Show Alex Jones rounds off the working week, introducing the usual mix of celebrity guests and stories about people in extraordinary circumstances.

19:30 A Question of Sport 20:00 Elections 2021 Update 20:05 EastEnders Denise apologises to the Taylors for the hamper but realises her attempts are futile, so she takes further action.

20:30 Would I Lie to You? Clare Balding, Asim Chaudhry, Victoria Coren Mitchell and Greg James join host Rob Brydon and regular captains David Mitchell and Lee Mack on the comedy panel show.

21:00 Have I Got News for You 21:30 This Time with Alan Partridge Now established as co-host of BBC One magazine show This Time, Alan is relishing his career Indian summer and the chance to showcase his broadcasting chops to the nation every weekday following an unfortunate era of working in hyper-local radio and presenting corporate videos.

22:00 BBC News at Ten 22:50 When Harry Met Sally A man and a woman with different attitudes to life meet by chance and develop a close and long-lasting friendship.

00:20 Weather for the Week Ahead

Virgin HD

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2

102 102/802 102/115 102 102

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06:30 D om Digs In 07:15 M oney for Nothing Jacqui Joseph goes on the lookout for quality discards at Walsall Recycling Centre, in the West Midlands.

08:00 The Repair Shop Jay Blades and the experts get to work on more heirlooms to bring them, and the memories they hold, back to life.

09:00 Elections 2021 12:00 Inside the Perfect Predator Documentary using ground-breaking computer graphics and close-up photography to examine four of the natural world’s most extraordinary hunters.

13:00 Britain’s Most Spectacular Backyard Builds 14:00 The Best Dishes Ever 14:30 Escape to the Country Sonali Shah meets two expats relocating to the New Forest after 20 years in America.

15:30 Money for Nothing 16:30 The Repair Shop The team restores a set of bagpipes that saw action in the First World War, a silver Welsh crown of great cultural significance, and a quirky tortoise-shaped bell.

17:15 Pointless 18:00 Richard Osman’s House of Games 18:30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo is in Suffolk on the last leg of his 1930s Bradshaw’s inspired tour of East Anglia, visiting the racecourse at Newmarket and the Roman Catholic shrine at Walsingham.

19:00 MOTDx Jermaine Jenas and the team take an offbeat look at the Premier League, also discussing skills, celebrities, fashion, music and culture.

19:30 Rick Stein’s Long Weekends The chef heads north towards the Arctic Circle to explore the culinary delights of Reykjavik, coastal capital of Iceland.

20:30 Great British Menu The two highest-scoring chefs from the North West go head-to-head cooking their entire six-course menus for the judges, including Wayne Hemingway MBE. Andi Oliver hosts 21:00 G ardeners’ World In Adam Frost’s garden, he gives his tips on lawn repair, grows some unusual vegetables and plants a seasonal container.

22:00 I ’ll Get This Extended version of the show in which five celebrities go out for dinner together.

22:45 Newsnight Analysis of the day’s events, with Emma Barnett and Kirsty Wark 23:15 Weather 23:20 End of Watch Two Los Angeles cops make their regular patrol of the city, dealing with petty offences while one records their lives on camera for a documentary project.

01:00 Battlestar Galactica

FREEVIEW ITV2 6 118 118

09:00 09:30 10:30 11:30 12:30 13:30 14:00 14:50 15:50 16:55 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 21:00 22:00 22:05 23:05

115 176

ITV3 10 113

119 119

You’ve Been Framed! Gold Supermarket Sweep Love Bites Dress to Impress Emmerdale You’ve Been Framed! Gold The Ellen DeGeneres Show Love Bites Dress to Impress T ake Me Out Emergency Services Special Celebrity Catchphrase You’ve Been Framed! Gold Superstore Bob’s Burgers Bad Neighbours FYI Daily Bad Neighbours Family Guy

06:00 07:00 08:05 09:15 09:50 10:20 11:30 12:40 13:45 14:50 15:55 17:50 19:00 20:00

117 177

ITVBE 27 115

Classic Coronation Street Classic Emmerdale Heartbeat That’s My Boy George and Mildred Agatha Christie’s Poirot Wycliffe Heartbeat Classic Emmerdale Classic Coronation Street Foyle’s War Agatha Christie’s Poirot Wycliffe Doc Martin PC Penhale is shocked by the unexpected arrival of his ex-wife Maggie 22:05 Law & Order: UK 23:10 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 00:15 A Touch of Frost

131

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10:55 11:00 11:05 11:15 11:25 11:30 11:45 12:00 12:25 13:25 14:25 15:10 16:05 17:00 18:00 19:00 20:00

DAVE 118

Ollie George and Paul Pingu in the City Bobo Claude Shorts Ziggy and the Zoo Tram Pip Ahoy!

Best Cake Wins The Real Housewives of Atlanta Absolutely Ascot The Only Way Is Essex Bethenny & Fredrik The Real Housewives of New York City The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Masters of Flip Buying and Selling Dinner Date

19

111/112 111/112

06:00 07:10 08:00 09:00 10:00 12:00 13:00 13:55 14:55 15:55 16:55 18:00 19:00 19:40 21:00 22:00 00:00 00:40 01:20

127 227

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Teleshopping Timber Kings American Pickers Storage Hunters UK American Pickers World’s Most Dangerous Roads QI XL Top Gear Rick Stein’s Far Eastern Odyssey World’s Most Dangerous Roads Top Gear Taskmaster Would I Lie to You? Room 101 QI XL Not Going Out Meet the Richardsons Would I Lie to You? Room 101

FRIDAY CHANNEL4

3

CHANNEL5

4

Wales 7

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103/111

06:00 Good Morning Britain 09:00 Lorraine Entertainment, current affairs and fashion news, as well as showbiz stories and celebrity gossip. Presented by Lorraine Kelly.

10:00 This Morning Daily magazine, featuring a mix of celebrity chat, showbusiness news, lifestyle features, topical discussion, health and beauty advice and more.

12:30 Loose Women Guest panellists engage in topical debate and celebrity interviews from a female perspective.

13:30 ITV Lunchtime News 14:00 D ickinson’s Real Deal David Dickinson heads to Liverpool along with the squad of dealers.

15:00 Tenable A team of bingo colleagues get their chance to win a bumper cash prize by answering Top 10 list questions.

16:00 Tipping Point Ben Shephard hosts the quiz in which contestants answer questions to win turns on an arcade-style machine.

17:00 T he Chase Bradley Walsh presents as Tony, Will, Michelle and George pit their wits against one of the ruthless Chasers in the hope of winning a potential prize pot worth thousands of pounds.

18:00 ITV News London 18:30 ITV Evening News 19:00 Emmerdale Ethan opens up to Charles, Charity grills Jimmy, and Manpreet is suspicious 19:30 C oronation Street Worried sick about Seb, Abi asks Kevin to cancel their wedding.

20:00 Cheats, Fiddles and Scams: Protecting Your Family? Tonight Part two of two. Cameras focus on the criminals, some of who have even targeted friends and family members, by stealing their cash.

20:30 Coronation Street Corey swears to Asha that he is innocent, but it would be best if she tells the police that he was with her all evening, while Nina struggles to remember anything about the attack.

21:00 Beat the Chasers Jenny `The Vixen” Ryan, Anne `The Governess” Hegerty, Shaun `The Dark Destroyer” Wallace, Mark `The Beast” Labbett and Darragh `The Menace” Ennis come together to take on more contestants from across the country.

22:00 ITV News at Ten 22:30 ITV News London 22:45 The Jonathan Ross Show 23:50 A lan Carr’s Epic Gameshow The comedian hosts an updated version of Strike It Lucky, with three pairs trying to navigate their way across a sea of screens, trying to bank prizes and avoid the infamous hotspots along the way.

00:40 Beat the Chasers

104 104/804/108 104/138/108 104/108 104/141 104/106

07:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Frasier Daphne goes on a date with an exconvict, but fortunately the Crane brothers are close at hand to protect her honour.

10:25 Escape to the Chateau: DIY It’s breaking point for Tim and Rebecca as they struggle to complete their kitchen as an expensive mishap with granite worktops put Rebecca’s dream room in jeopardy.

11:25 Channel 4 News 11:30 Couples Come Dine with Me In Belfast, three couples compete to host the best dinner party.

12:30 S teph’s Packed Lunch Steph McGovern presents the weekday magazine, including celebrity guests, food ideas, real-life features and entertainment, lifestyle and consumer stories.

14:10 C ountdown Nick Hewer and Rachel Riley present the words-and-numbers game, with Samira Ahmed joining Susie Dent in Dictionary Corner.

15:00 A Place in the Sun Welsh champion sausagemaker Steve and his wife Helen have travelled the world in search of the perfect holiday home and have decided that Torrox on the Costa del Sol is for them.

16:00 A New Life in the Sun: Road Trip 17:00 Four in a Bed The B&B owners meet for the last time to find out how much they’ve been paid and to settle some scores.

17:30 Beat the Chef Home cook Lulu Marodeen brings tinned salmon to take on Mark Sargeant. A battle of the bananas commences, as Michelinstarred chef Mark turns out a fruity tarte Tatin with ginger biscuits.

18:00 The Simpsons 18:30 Hollyoaks Marco meets with his brother in the park and it becomes clear the pair have a plan up their sleeve.

19:00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather 20:00 Food Unwrapped Does Takeaways The team tracks down fascinating facts from around the world related to the growing British tradition of savouring takeaway food, on which a billion pounds is spent a month.

21:00 Gogglebox 22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown Jimmy Carr hosts the game show mash-up, with Rachel Riley and Susie Dent.

23:05 Friday Night Dinner Adam and Jonny arrive at Mum and Dad’s house with big news to announce - they both have girlfriends.

23:35 Friday Night Dinner.

01:25 Frank of Ireland When Frank discovers that Padraig has recruited Doofus to write songs for an am-dram performance of Twelve Angry Women.

105 105/805 105 154 105

5

105

08:00 The Adventures of Paddington 08:30 Ricky Zoom Ricky and the buddies help Maxwell at the garage when he sprains his spokes 08:40 Floogals 08:55 Wissper Doris goes missing after falling asleep and rolling down the hill.

09:00 Peppa Pig 09:05 S unny Bunnies The team has a special clock, which makes a loud sound when it is time to play, eat or sleep, but not all the Bunnies follow the routine.

09:15 J eremy Vine The broadcaster and guests discuss the issues of the day, with co-host Storm Huntley joining him for phone-ins and reading out viewers’ correspondence.

11:15 George Clarke’s Build a New Life in the Country 12:15 5 News at Lunchtime 12:20 Classic House Doctor Property expert Ann Maurice offers advice on selling a property in West Dulwich, south London.

13:15 H ome and Away Justin is dragged out of the waves, and realises he and Leah are on the same side and got conned by Susie.

13:45 Neighbours Sheila C gains access to The Hive’s financial data, infuriating Paul and throwing suspicion on Ned, who denies helping her.

14:15 My Mother Is a Murderer A woman suspects that a young girl she meets is actually a child who was kidnapped from her biological parents several years prior.

16:00 Rich House, Poor House In Dorset, property developer Claire Donovan and her family swap homes and lives with warehouse worker Jason White and his clan.

17:00 5 News at 5 17:30 Neighbours Sheila C gains access to The Hive’s financial data, infuriating Paul and throwing suspicion on Ned, who denies helping her.

18:00 Home and Away Justin is dragged out of the waves, and realises he and Leah are on the same side and got conned by Susie.

18:30 5 News Tonight 19:00 The Gadget Show Jon Bentley and Georgie Barrat review barbecues, and Craig Charles attempts to set up a smart weather monitor.

20:00 World’s Most Scenic River Journeys 21:00 R evealed: Cleopatra’s Lost City The results of a three-decade investigation to uncover one of ancient Egypt’s greatest lost cities, Canopus, which for centuries had been lost beneath the waves.

22:00 Britain’s Favourite 80s Songs Jackie Brambles narrates this look back at 1989, the era of Madonna, Milli Vanilli and Jason Donovan.

23:35 That’s So 1989 00:35 Criminals: Caught on Camera

FREEVIEW E4

MORE4

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135 135 106 145

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04:55 - 09:00 Close 09:00 Four in a Bed 09:30 A New Life in the Sun: Road Trip 10:30 A Place in the Sun 13:30 Come Dine with Me 16:00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 17:00 A Place in the Sun 19:00 George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces The architect meets a couple in Worcestershire who have given up the rat race, selling their town house to buy some land in the country. With just £50,000 they set out to construct their own home.

21:00 Location, Location, Location 22:00 Paramedics: Britain’s Lifesavers 23:05 Gogglebox

DRAMA

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03:50 - 08:55 Close 08:55 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures 09:15 A Place in the Sun 10:05 Find It, Fix It, Flog It 12:05 Heir Hunters 13:05 A New Life in the Sun 14:15 Four in a Bed 16:55 Heir Hunters 17:55 The Secret Life of the Zoo 18:55 Escape to the Chateau: DIY 19:55 Grand Designs 21:00 Ice Cold Murders: Rocco Schiavone The unorthodox police detective and his team are called to investigate the case of a dead woman found hanging from a chandelier.

23:05 24 Hours in A&E 01:20 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown

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Teleshopping Birds of a Feather The Bill Classic Holby City Classic Casualty The Bill Classic EastEnders Doctor Finlay All Creatures Great and Small Lovejoy French Fields Waiting for God Last of the Summer Wine Father Brown When a man is found dead inside a locked bank vault.

22:00 New Tricks 23:20 Silent Witness 01:35 The Bill

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03:10 - 19:00 Close 19:00 Easy Listening Hits at the BBC Archive performances by some of the best-known easy-listening musicians of the 1960s and ‘70s, including Sergio Mendes & Brasil 66, Burt Bacharach.

20:00 Top of the Pops: 1990 21:00 Emmylou Harris: From a Deeper Well 22:00 Timeshift: Emmylou Harris’s 10 Commandments of Country 23:00 Emmylou Harris - Old Grey Whistle Test Special 23:40 Sisters in Country: Dolly, Linda and Emmylou 00:40 Country at the BBC 01:40 Emmylou Harris: From a Deeper Well

7. May

ITV

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SATURDAY Main Channels

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Casualty

8:40 pm - 9:20 pm Lev is unwilling to return to the hospital since being outed by Faith, and throws himself into motocross racing.

He puts himself dangerously on the line to help a fellow rider with cancer who is in desperate need of a big win. A training manager running a leadership course brings back memories for Charlie and a very stressed Ethan, while Jade and Marty struggle to connect as they both grapple with their issues Jade and Marty struggle to connect as they both grapple with their issues.

Dad’s Army

7:30 pm - 8:00 pm An invasion alert throws Mainwaring’s hopeless would-be heroes into a panic, leading half the platoon to unwittingly launch an attack on the other half - who are holed up in Godfrey’s cottage. Comedy from 1969, starring Arthur Lowe and Arnold Ridley.

The World’s Most Expensive Hotels

8:00 pm - 9:00 pm Exploring some of the planet’s most iconic hotels. Packed with wealth, glamour and glitz, each has a treasure trove of secrets to reveal through stories of visionary entrepreneurs who created them, tales of celebrity guests, former glories and infamous scandals.

Sky HD

101/106/110

06:00 Breakfast A round-up of national and international news, plus sports reports, weather forecasts and arts and entertainment features.

10:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11:30 Nadiya’s British Food Adventure Nadiya Hussain samples what London has to offer, heading to Beckton in the east of the city to visit an indoor urban farm in an industrial estate that uses hydroponics and aquaponics to rear fish and grow vegetables.

12:00 Football Focus Dan Walker looks ahead to the weekend’s Premier League fixtures, including Manchester City v Chelsea.

13:00 BBC News 13:10 Weather 13:15 Elections 2021 Huw Edwards and Kirsty Wark present the latest news on yesterday’s elections, with reports from BBC correspondents at all the key counts.

18:00 BBC News 18:30 Celebrity Mastermind John Humphrys ushers Kate Thornton, Nancy Lam, Dominic Skinner and Katy Wix to take to the black chair to be put to the test on their chosen specialist subjects, which are Dulwich, Rod Stewart, Alexander McQueen, and the plays of Annie Baker.

19:00 The Hit List Marvin and Rochelle Humes present a music-based quiz show in which a married couple from Kent, a father and son from Luton and two flatmates from Manchester must name as many hit songs and artists as possible under intense pressure, with a £10,000 jackpot up for grabs.

19:45 I Can See Your Voice Paddy McGuinness hosts the mystery singing game show, in which contestants aided by a celebrity panel must spot good singers without hearing them.

20:35 Elections 2021 08:40 Casualty 22:00 BBC News 22:30 Match of the Day Gary Lineker presents highlights of the latest Premier League matches, including Manchester City v Chelsea at Etihad Stadium and Liverpool v Southampton at Anfield.

23:35 MOTD Top 10 Centre Halves Gary Lineker is joined by Alan Shearer and Micah Richards to count down the top 10 central defenders in Premier League history.

00:05 City of Tiny Lights A hard-drinking private detective searches for a missing sex worker, leading to a dangerous world of religious fanaticism and political intrigue.

01:50 Weather for the Week Ahead

Virgin HD

Freesat

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07:20 Blue Peter 07:50 D eadly on a Mission: Pole to Pole Steve Backshall and his team go in search of an animal that has eluded the wildlife enthusiast his entire life number one jungle predator the jaguar.

08:20 Being Muslim Documentary following how British Muslims mark some of life’s biggest moments.

09:00 Socrates: Genius of the Ancient World 10:00 Natural World: Pygmy Hippo - A Very Secret Life Solitary, secretive and extremely hard to find, the pygmy hippo is one of nature’s last great mysteries and scientists know almost nothing about its life in the wild and what it needs to survive.

11:00 New Zealand: Earth’s Mythical Islands Sam Neill narrates a documentary examining the wildlife of the Antipodean island chain, which has been left to its own devices for 80 million years - with surprising consequences.

12:00 Great British Menu Chefs Dave Critchley, Dan McGeorge, Ashwani Rangta and Kirk Haworth compete for the North West of England with canapes, starters and fish dishes inspired by British invention and innovation.

14:00 L ive Challenge Cup Rugby League Hull FC v Wigan Warriors (Kick-off 2.30pm). Mark Chapman presents all the action from the quarter-final at Emerald Headingley Stadium in Leeds.

16:30 Final Score Jason Mohammad presents a round-up of the classified results and this afternoon’s news from the Premier League, EFL and Scotland.

17:10 Live Challenge Cup Rugby League Castleford Tigers v Salford Red Devils (Kick-off 5.00pm).

19:30 Dad’s Army An invasion alert throws Mainwaring’s hopeless would-be heroes into a panic, leading half the platoon to unwittingly launch an attack on the other half - who are holed up in Godfrey’s cottage.

20:00 Top of the Pops: The Story of 1987 Some of 1987’s biggest music stars look back on the year, which saw Margaret Thatcher secure a third term as prime minister, while the Channel Tunnel began construction and Britain was battered by the Great Storm.

21:00 Muhammad Ali: A Life in Ten Pictures 22:00 When We Were Kings Leon Gast’s Oscarwinning documentary charting the challenge of an ageing Muhammad Ali for George Foreman’s World Heavyweight title held in Zaire in 1974.

23:20 Cold in July A small-town man is hailed as a hero after he shoots dead a burglar who had broken into his home.

01:05 The Fits

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Teleshopping The Ellen DeGeneres Show The Ellen DeGeneres Show Dress to Impress Catchphrase Celebrity Special Take Me Out In for a Penny You’ve Been Framed!: Family Special Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang Mr Bean’s Holiday FYI Daily Mr Bean’s Holiday Liar Liar Knocked Up Family Guy American Dad! Plebs Iain Stirling’s CelebAbility

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06:00 London Zoo: An Extraordinary Year 06:55 Coronation Street 09:45 Wycliffe 11:55 Foyle’s War Foyle is enlisted as the police representative on the Victory Day Celebrations Committee, alongside his old friend John Kiefer representing the American forces.

17:55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 19:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 Lewis An idyllic summer day in Oxford is torn asunder when a parcel bomb claims the life of eminent mathematician Adam Capstone, a genius in the field of `Knot Theory”.

01:00 Sanditon

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Little Women: LA Be Tasty Wildwoods Chloe’s Closet Lily’s Driftwood Bay Percy’s Tiger Tales The Hive Sooty Claude Pingu in the City Bobo Ziggy and the Zoo Tram Pip Ahoy!

Be Tasty The Real Housewives of Potomac 13:05 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 14:00 The Only Way Is Essex 15:00 Olivia Meets Her Match

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07:35 Timber Kings 08:25 American Pickers 09:20 Rick Stein’s Far Eastern Odyssey 10:25 Storage Hunters UK 11:25 Red Bull Soapbox Race 12:25 Top Gear 13:30 Rick Stein’s Far Eastern Odyssey 14:30 Top Gear 16:00 Fast Justice 17:00 Secrets of the Supercars 18:00 Top Gear: Ambitious but Rubbish 20:00 Not Going Out 22:00 Mock the Week 23:20 Insert Name Here 00:00 Live at the Apollo Christmas Special 01:00 Have I Got a Bit More Old News for You

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07:00 D are Master Danny’s dare is take to the wheel of a high-powered sports car, but can he drift it and avoid the forfeit?

07:05 M ighty Mike 07:20 M r Bean: The Animated Series 07:45 Ben 10 Team Tennyson gets to watch a sumo wrestling match as part of the Global Games 08:00 N injaGo: Prime Empire Four ninja warriors battle dark Lord Garmadon and his skeleton army.

08:25 ITV News 08:30 Martin & Roman’s Weekend Best!

09:25 James Martin’s Saturday Morning The TV chef is joined by comedian Johnny Vegas, and chefs Clare Smyth and John Williams, with recipes for pavlova, crab waffles and pork burgers featured.

11:35 Ainsley’s Food We Love 12:35 James Martin’s Great British Adventure James meets food critic and broadcaster Grace Dent in Birmingham, taking a trip down the 35-mile canal system in a narrowboat and cooking his version of chicken balti.

13:35 ITV News and Weather 13:45 Midsomer Murders Barnaby and Jones investigate the cloistered world of Midsomer Priory when a nun is found strangled.

15:40 You’ve Been Framed!

16:40 Tipping Point Ben Shephard hosts the quiz in which contestants answer questions to win turns on an arcade-style machine.

17:40 The Chase Bradley Walsh presents as contestants Jo, Martin, Claire and Andrew pit their wits against quiz genius the Chaser in the hope of winning a potential prize pot worth thousands of pounds.

18:30 ITV News and Weather 18:45 ITV News London 19:00 In for a Penny Stephen Mulhern heads to Chester for the game show in which he travels around the UK setting members of the public unusual challenges, giving them the chance to win anything from the price of their petrol to £1,000 in the final game.

19:30 Alan Carr’s Epic Gameshow - Celebrity Special 20:30 Game of Talents Vernon Kay hosts the game show, with two contestants pairing up with Jonathan Ross and Katherine Ryan to try to win big money.

21:35 The Jonathan Ross Show Jonathan joined by star of stage and screen Ian McKellen, former Royal Ballet principal dancer and Strictly Come Dancing judge Darcey Bussell and comedian Romesh Ranganathan.

22:30 ITV News and Weather 22:55 F ast & Furious 8 01:15 Shop: Ideal World

06:00 Mike & Molly As everyone gathers for the birth of Mike and Molly’s adopted child, the couple reflect on their relationship and past events.

06:45 Everybody Loves Raymond Debra wonders how Ray would cope if she met an untimely end, and picks an attractive friend to replace her as his new wife - but cannot help being hurt by his enthusiastic response to the idea 08:50 The Big Bang Theory Leonard tries to get Sheldon into the Christmas mood by playing a game, but things do not go as planned when Sheldon reveals a childhood trauma.

10:30 The Simpsons Lisa attends a performing arts camp, where guitar-playing counsellors and musically inclined youngsters teach her to embrace her creative side.

12:50 Couples Come Dine with Me Three couples compete for the cash prize in Surrey, serving up a Tex Mex evening, an unexpected surprise, and a soiree featuring rapping and secret revelations.

13:50 Work on the Wild Side On the Eastern Cape, its rhino day for vet Emily as she needs to move three male rhinos to a new home. And at the Vervet Monkey Foundation, Josie meets new arrival, Dobby.

14:25 Four in a Bed The competition kicks off at Causilgey Manor in Truro, Cornwall, where former art dealers Robin and Brenda Spence want to treat their guests to a stay in the countryside.

17:00 Johnny Vegas: Carry on Glamping Glamping is on the rise in Britain, and it’s no longer just a posh tent in a field.

18:00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather 18:30 F ormula 1 Spanish Grand Prix Qualifying Highlights Steve Jones presents action from the battle for pole position in the fourth round of the season, held at Circuit de Barcelona-Catalunya.

20:00 The Great Garden Revolution 21:00 Den of Thieves An elite unit of the Los Angeles county sheriffs’ department investigates a series of perfectly executed heists, and uncovers a criminal gang composed of military veterans, whose strategic and combat experience make them an elusive foe.

23:40 Snow White & the Huntsman An evil queen learns that her reign will last for ever if she kills a princess, so sends a renowned warrior to find and murder her.

01:45 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA Gordon Ramsay heads to New Jersey’s Spanish Pavilion, which is run by two warring brothers whose staff spend more time using their mobile phones than working.

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07:20 R icky Zoom 07:35 Peppa Pig 07:45 Milkshake! Bop Box Boogie A dance on the theme of autumn.

08:05 The Adventures of Paddington The family members all have chores, except Paddington.

08:20 Paw Patrol Chase and his police-pups must find the missing medals to save the Adventure Bay Games.

08:35 Pirata & Capitano 08:45 Butterbean’s Cafe Cricket loses a game of noughts and crosses at the cafe’s games day.

09:00 Brave Bunnies 09:15 L ittle Princess The heroine decides to learn magic tricks for a show.

09:25 The World According to Grandpa A story about why chocolate is so tasty.

09:35 Floogals After Boomer knocks over Girl Hooman’s jug of home-made lemonade, the race is on to figure out the recipe and fill up the jug before they are rumbled.

09:50 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:05 SpongeBob SquarePants 10:20 The Loud House Lincoln is keen that his family take energy efficiency to heart, so he rallies them to stop using quite so much electricity.

10:35 Entertainment News on 5 Showbiz news and gossip.

10:40 Cruising with Jane McDonald Highlights of the ex-cruise singer’s journey from Miami, around the Caribbean to Puerto Rico.

10:55 Friends Phoebe receives shocking news about her past, while Rachel is envious of Ross’s uninhibited girlfriend.

13:45 Live Gallagher Premiership Rugby 16:00 Building the Billion Dollar Cruise Ship Following engineers and designers as they race to construct the Seven Seas Explorer.

17:55 5 News Weekend 18:00 S ecret Scotland with Susan Calman Susan heads to Stirling, Scotland’s historical heartland.

19:00 O ur Yorkshire Farm 20:00 The World’s Most Expensive Hotels 21:00 Katharine: The Compassionate Duchess A look at the life of the Duchess of Kent, who has dedicated her life to helping others and whose warm and informal manner has charmed the public.

22:00 ABBA: In Their Own Words 22:55 Mamma Mia! The Story of the World’s Favourite Musical A look at the enduring appeal of Mamma Mia!, the hit stage show set to the songs of Abba which debuted in 1999, and was followed by a film version in 2008.

00:25 Cher: Secrets of Her Biggest Hits

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Work on the Wild Side Four in a Bed Escape to the Chateau: DIY A Place in the Sun: Home or Away Friends Richard and Debby join forces to buy their dream home, but cannot decide whether it should be in Poole in Dorset or La Rochelle in western France.

Location, Location, Location 8 Out of 10 Cats Does

Countdown Jimmy Carr hosts the game show mash-up.

First Dates Hotel Paramedics: Britain’s Lifesavers Gogglebox The Great Celebrity Bake Off for Stand Up to Cancer

136 136 147 195

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Food Unwrapped A Place in the Sun Location, Location, Location Come Dine with Me In Peterborough, driving instructor Christine hopes her vegetarian cuisine will grab her the £1,000 prize.

Four in a Bed Tim and Jules Anderson are first to host at the King’s Head and Queen’s Jules in Suffolk, where they provide their guests with a lesson in how to fillet fish.

Car S.O.S. 24 Hours in A&E 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown Father Ted 24 Hours in A&E

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06:00 Teleshopping 07:25 Where the Heart Is Ozias is determined to ruin the factory, despite suffering a personal crisis, and a former cabaret star has her work cut out trying to make up for lost time with the daughter she sacrificed for a glittering career.

11:15 Sharpe 13:15 Auf Wiedersehen, Pet 15:15 The Green Green Grass 18:00 The Brokenwood Mysteries 20:00 Shakespeare & Hathaway Private Investigators 21:00 Rebus 23:15 Taggart 01:55 The Inspector Lynley Mysteries Feature-length episode.

BBC4 9 Scot 24 106 116 116

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03:40 - 19:00 Close 19:00 Francesco’s Venice 20:00 Michael Palin’s New Europe 21:00 Blinded: Those Who Kill Sequel to Danish crime drama Darkness: Those Who Kill. Criminal profiler Louise Bergstein investigates an unsolved serial killer case.

22:30 The Killing Lund and Meyer discover clues in the basement of the victim’s school, and the police pathologist delivers shocking news to the lead detective.

01:25 Michael Palin’s New Europe 02:25 Francesco’s Venice Francesco da Mosto charts the changes that took place as Venice became increasingly.

8. May

ITV

Alternative TV and radio Schedules Community Voice Every Tuesday 13:00-15:00

on sound radio wales https://www.soundradio.wales/ Also live on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/search/ top/?q=sound%20radio%20wales

Watmed

Paul Toal and I present a radio show that celebrates our diverse communities. We give a platform to individuals and groups who are active in their communities and have a positive effect on their community.

From activists who campaign to change policy to improve the lives of those living in their community to leaders providing much needed support and advice in times of trouble. Tune in every Tuesday.

Andrea Faulkner Sound Radio Wales

NHS social media broadcaster by doctors for patients. We educate, entertain & inform via content designed to promote discussion. http://www.watmed-media.com/ ?fbclid=IwAR2QfpK9t1YqHpsLd6i27 jcR1LLsdVX7zFSEJicRskMzRUKcIb O8SlH_KCc

The Joe Solo Show Every Monday from 22:00-23:00

is broadcast on www.radioscarborough. co.uk The Joe Solo Show is broadcast on http:// coastandcountyradio.co.uk/ You can get us on DAB in North Yorkshire. Each show is available to stream on Mixcloud soon after.

Monthly radio show with host Andy Bungay and Colin Crilly, discussing things campaigning, social, and political.

To listen, please click on this link http:// www.mixcloud.com/.../the-colin-crillytakeover.../

Sputnik Orbiting the World Saturdays at 9:30

Looking behind the stories which made the news, as well as unearthing the ones that didn’t. Expect debate and discussion between George Galloway and authoritative, influential, but most importantly, informed guests. https:// www.rt.com/shows/sputnik/

Williamson. Debates from a leftwing perspective.

Can be found broadcasting on freeview channel 235

RICHIE ALLEN

Double down news

Mon – Thurs 17:00-19:00 Sun 11:00

Listen to the stream live!

The stream is live 24/7 and live shows can be heard: https://richieallen.co.uk

TyskySour

By NovaraMedia. The presenter, Michael Walker, is more often than not joined by his sidekick Aaron Bastani and Ash Sarkar, who famously humiliated Piers Morgan on his GMB TV show by pointing out what a political ignoramus he really is. https:// www.youtube.com/watch?v=JD7Ol0gz11k

Every Sunday 21.30

https://resistfest.co.uk/category/resistancetv/ From the group led by ex MP, Chris

NEWS from the Socialist Workers party with everything you ever wanted to know about Marx. Lots of video’s and analysis. As well as occasionally mentioning Rosa Luxemburg. https://www.youtube.com/channel/ UC3h2oeevDS8AP1GuuKJx8oA

Russel Brand Quirky comedian with a following on you tube of well over a million. Lots of videos questioning how society really works on his “revelation” shows. https://www.youtube.com/user/ russellbrand

Brought to you by Skwawkbox. Live streamed video and interviews with the important people on the left. https://twitter.com/SocialistTelly?ref_ src=twsrc%5Egoogle% 7Ctwcamp%5Eserp %7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

Sign up for the chat room and contribute your ideas and information. https://windowsontheworld.net/liveshows/ Live on a Wednesday and Thursday

SWP TV

Socialist Telly

Mark Windows LIVE

Resistance-tv

A safe middle class option for Guardian readers. Has a selection of videos. https://www.doubledown.news/

David Icke The Daddy of all alternative views on the world. https://davidicke.com/

Al-Jazeera Best known for their documentary on Israeli interference in British elections.

It was founded by Sheikh Ḥamad ibn Khalīfah Āl Thānī, emir of Qatar, in 1996.

RESISTANCE TV

Run by ex MP Chris Williamson regular live broadcasts on different Socialist topics every Wednesday at 7pm.

Labour Heartlands Live at 13:00 every Monday, Wednesday and Friday The UK Column story began with local residents in Devonport, the historic Royal Navy dockyard area of the city of Plymouth in South West England. The website is https://www.ukcolumn.org/ UK column broadcast a live television news show The UK Column News is streamed, and is available on demand soon afterwards.

Website from a Left Brexit perspective directly from the working class. With a great selection of videos. https://www.facebook.com/ Labourheartlands/videos/?ref=page_ internal

Jonathan Pie Another comedian. Has plenty of videos with a sharp satirical look at the world.

Al Jazeera https://www.aljazeera.com/watch_now/epgschedule.html SWP TV https://www.youtube.com/user/swpTvUk

thewordmedia.org

The A Magazine

Early May 2021

THE

WORD

THE

WORD

Early May 2021

The A Magazine

thewordmedia.org

Visions for change I dont c dont c are, are! D ont believ e We ha what you sa v a chil e climbed y. d to s l ike tan where we sta d y..

hope, There is pe! In my ho there is pe. If ere is ho heart th h vision for ug just eno e given away. nb truth ca

e and a was releas y tr e o p t u B paint! freedom to eart live visions h h c a within e things. le ib d for incre reak for needs to b d e e s a e ik L creates; the roots it ds a seed ement nee Like a mov in.. beg we live to

In my ey es skies fro live the m my ea rliest years; w he was a pla n the world ce so yo ung and free !

And if w or comfort ds can bring to a sou l who like me; felt the end of truth by doomed liberty.

Then ca and th me the blea k e dark, l cold of the ike a s tone i wall, t na ha a hear t we grow f t. or

ut speak o y arise! a s , I e n g e n Th cha ned for be fashio ruth to a light rt turn you live by the ld u that wo flame. to and push and push, am; re d u o , as y find a way .. as you live ay e able to s b t s u you m ys.. of your da at the last

>>

Blowin’ in the Wind..

Where is the age of reason to raise our souls? ..I am stood singing in the street for a heart of gold. Have felt this city isolate my will like a cage; living day to day for rent by coin to exchange; but, a deeper sense trips me from the walls in my brain, when did my liberty fall to this state? I feel like a child underskin while my dreams float away.. the freedom of gaia too far to reach. We need a muse for the truth in the vein of T. Paine..

Liberty is not a flag or a product to buy, if built on the suffering back of a soul just like mine; it is a dream by the muse to find peace for each day, a universal income; to allow space for our dreams! As nature grows from the root so it is with life - a city of neglect bares the poverty of shame; only liberty for all can show a nation to be great - while everywhere we hear voices call for change.. while corporations conspire and TTIP crawls back.. but what price are we sold any choice - any word - if lies bury trust; I till my soil like a slave.

So we walk with our eyes blinded to truth; still I have faith in something words cannot say, my heart hears what I have lost from the love of my day; float memories they speak.. I am an ear where they sleep. I call their name and by nature itself, such whisper awake. Their reason to live, now far beyond me - illusive on the wind; where the sky is an ocean to divine our dreams. and where life may find change by transformative waves.. I have stood in the dark by ghost and machine; on the edge looking in from the flow gravelled streams. This voice, just a sound to twist frequency - universal forever from limitless space; I call you back to me always.. to learn from the past, to be wise with our time; beloved, we must bridge the gap.

Find a stash of poetry and colour at the back of the mag!.. book reviews this week we take a quick look at a selection of page turners.

more ..

For a little more art and poetry jump to pages 14 - 15 and beyond.

Hey that’s my line kid !!

That I was there! in the forge of the fray.. when we stood together - for peace and grace.

I don’t care, I don’t care, we must find the words to say.. express in truth, for every soul that has lived; our vision for change.

thewordmedia.org

The A Magazine

Early May 2021

EDITOR’S LETTER

G

reetings! A huge thank you to everyone who has found the time to contribute to our first issue!. So here we go.. To say it has been a stressful past few months would be an understatement for many of us; politically and emotionally I feel the wear and raggedy tear from my tip to my toes. Following these last few years of global Trumpism and more recently the pandemic - they do say “wish to live in eventful times” well now I am not so sure!

We have a simple quest! the holy grail maybe.. or is it to create anything with the time that can find release and expression toward this human condition, to find a true voice for ourselves and each other as some may struggle to find the words.

I found my holy grail!

love

Contents >> Interview Pilar Viviante tells us why water is so important and why it inspires her art so much.

See page 8

Guest editor & other bits - (me)

instagram.com/danielmansfieldartist

With thanks to our guest editor (yours truly) who worked tirelessly on every page as well as liaising with the writers and other creative contributors.

Also a HUGE thanks to all the other awesome contributions we have had, for all the time and toil that goes into an arts magazine - all that would be meaningless without good writers.

Please send in any entertainment articles you have to us at thewordmedia.org

ur Share yo

Into the wild

Fiona Gomez shares her watercolour wildlife skills alongside a few life secrets.

See page 12

Creative Matthew Collings shows us his sketches which he is producing at an unstoppable pace.

Pages 5 & 16

THE

WORD

THE

WORD

Early May 2021

The A Magazine

New Book!

thewordmedia.org

GOOD REASONS TO READ Benefits of Reading - Reading gives you stronger teeth! (if you read a book about good health)

- Reading Keeps Your Brain Healthy, (just don’t eat the book!)

- But Seriously Reading Reduces Stress!

Frank Herbert’s Dune

Yanis Varoufakis ANOTHER NOW is is a contribution

by Yanis Varoufakis to a re-imagining of a post Covid world. Explaining his thinking he uses the phrase, ‘Capitalism isn’t working’ and presents an alternative. Never a boring or dry writer this time he adds fiction to his repertoire.

Earlier work includes Adults in the Room (2017). Could you write a thriller of an account by a Finance Minister of negotiations on behalf of Greece with the European financial powers?

Varoufakis did. And most of us might struggle to excite new and old readers of a piece of work published in 1848.

Reading the introduction by Varoufakis to the Communist Manifesto was, for me, like being re-armed for a fight with capitalism.

As a student, grappling with Marx’s footnotes and totally unaware of his poetry, I was frustrated that Marx said so little about what a Communist Heaven would be like. ANOTHER NOW gives us some idea. Yanis Varoufakis is known for his fondness for Star Trek. We might sum up his new book, even his entire career, as ‘Boldly going where few have gone before’. - Cliff Jones

PAGE TURNERS >>

So there’s this new film out called Dune, it’s no big thing! - just the most cosmic/psychedelic Science Fiction series of all time. Here’s the deal; you have to read the books! Oh no you say, I have no time.. I hear you.

If your stuck for time try the audio book versions, just prepare yourself for an engrossing critique on the western hero narrative. So I do hope you enjoy the film if you go to see it, but do remember books are best.

- Also Helps You Sleep Better - Reading is a way to escape your own life, and can take you to faraway lands, other times, and put you in other people’s shoes.

As I Walked Out One Midsummer Morning As I Walked Out One Midsummer Morning is the moving follow-up to Laurie Lee’s acclaimed Cider with Rosie.

How to be free

If you’ve ever wondered why you bother to go to work, or why so much consumer culture is crap!

Then this book is for you. Looking to history, literature and philosophy for inspiration, Tom Hodgkinson provides a blueprint for a simpler way of life. Filled with practical tips as well as inspiring reflections, here you can learn how to throw off the shackles of anxiety, debt, housework, supermarkets, waste and much else besides.

The Beekeeper of Aleppo a beautiful story

by Christy Lefteri

The Man Who Fell to Earth immense in scope

by Walter Tevis

Abandoning the Cotswolds village that raised him, the young Laurie Lee walks to London. There he makes a living labouring and playing the violin.

But, deciding to travel further a field and knowing only the Spanish phrase for ‘Will you please give me a glass of water?’, he heads for Spain.

With just a blanket to sleep under and his trusty violin, he spends a year crossing Spain, from Vigo in the north to the southern coast. Only the outbreak of the Spanish Civil War puts an end to his extraordinary peregrinations.

Beloved selected poems

by Toni Morrison

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OUR FAVOURITE ART CRITIC TURNS ON THE SATIRE

Matthew Collings Matthew Collings is a British art critic, writer, broadcaster, and artist.

Life is tough being a prolific creative but Matt has taken some time recently to turn ultra artsy, to build-up a large following on social media. See his latest amazing drawings and arts on instagram here. instagram.com/matthew.collings

Matt’s sketch inspired by Nelson Mandela (left).

TIPS FOR A CREATIVE WEEK!

- Draw, paint, doodle, watercolour, sing & dance - Do something physical - get your energy flowing - Embrace boredom if it can help you create - Watch a TED talk or listen to a podcast - Generate more ideas than you think you need - Make time for play

Marcus Rashford sketch inspired

by Oliver Twist - or just this UK government (far left).

Marcus Rashford MBE leads the way where politicians continue to flop and flounder!

Following the #EndChildFoodPoverty campaign led by MarcusRashford MBE, the Government finally, draggingly stepped in with a fund package to help alleviate child food poverty.

The campaign shows the way to change government policy is not the think tanks who advise out of touch politicians, it’s not a Downing Street advisor who has

the PM’s twisted ear to lecture about the causes of poverty. It doesn’t even seem to be mass protests through the streets of London (as not covered or misrepresented by the mainstream). Nor even it seems the head teachers of affected schools or teacher Unions who report straight from the front line, how up to 40% of kids in some areas live in a household with no access to a washing machine or even a toaster!

It does not even seem to be an election or a manifesto laden with boasts the size of

the Titanic, and lies the width of a iceberg bobbing in our direction with the words ‘disaster’ carved into its ice cold shards.

It is in fact a footballer with the guts to tell it like it is! To take a stand for those less able than him, and to take all the flack that was directed at him from unfriendly (out of touch) elements of the press.

Taking a stand for all the kids and families out there living through the economic stupidity of this decade of conservative inspired austerity.

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NEWS FLASH!

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MOVIES TO BUY ON DVD Finding Jack Charlton The definitive portrait of an English World Cup legend, who became an Irish hero. The film also details Jack’s previously undocumented life with dementia.

Dark Waters Chlopi The Peasants Currently in the making, directed

by Dorota Kobiela, the artwork for the new adaptation of Władysław Reymont’s masterpiece Chłopi looks stunning! With thousands of handpainted frames, this animation hopes to be an amazing follow up to Kobiela’s award winning film “Loving Vincent”, which stuns me every-time I watch it, it’s like living inside the paintings.

“After years of working on a film about Vincent van Gogh, I felt a strong need to talk about women: their struggle, passion and strength,” said Kobiela, whose new film centres on the character of a young woman called Jagna.

Set to première in 2022; well they do have 6000+ paintings to do!.. For all I hope they get done sooner! But if your appetite has been warmed for some art based animation you must check out Kobiela’s other arty films (image aside).

Starring Mark Ruffalo, Dark Waters tells the real life story of the lawyer Robert Bilott, who has just been made partner at a high-profile law firm specialising in defending huge chemical companies from environmental lawsuits. In a twist of fate Robert gets pulled into an epic legal battle with the same corporations he used to protect.

As gritty as it gets, this film stunned me to silence from beginning to end.

Audrey She was beautiful, talented, compassionate and graceful but no words seem to fully capture her spirit. All the best fairy tales contain transformation, and Audrey’s story is no exception.

Green Book Set in America in 1962, Green Book tells the heart-warming true story of Tony Lip, a workingclass bouncer who takes on a job as a chauffeur for Dr. Don Shirley, a world-class Black pianist.

Hurricane The heroic story of the many Polish fliers who fought tirelessly during the Battle of Britain. These brave men; driven across Europe by war, finally made their last stand.

Vice

Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Vice tracks Dick Cheney’s ‘under the radar’ rise from bureaucratic Washington insider to the most powerful man in the world as vice president to George W. Bush.

In a period of history many of us still keenly recall - we relive the events of 9/11 and the follow up wars in the middle east, as seen through the eyes of Dick as he bulldozes through the US constitution. Strangely billed as a comedy, I would say it is anything but!

And think it instead an education for all.

Tom Hanks portrays Mister Rogers in a story of kindness triumphing over cynicism, based on the true story of a reallife friendship between Fred Rogers and Tom Junod.

Official Secrets She risked everything to stop an unjust war. Her government called her a traitor. Based on world-shaking true events, Official Secrets tells the gripping story of Katharine Gun.

Online Audiobook

TED Talks

Visit this link to hear the best YouTube version of The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists

Short and sweet talks for your mind on any given topic, from quick and cheerful to the deeply personal.

thewordmedia.org/robert-tressell

youtube.com/c/TED

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TOP WATCH ON NETFLIX

The Midnight Gospel

The Queen’s Gambit

In the simulations, he interviews people on topics ranging from spirituality, the theory that we’re all living in a computer simulator, drug use and death positivity. With utterly surreal visuals that will utterly mess with your head as your ears drink in the character’s profound commentaries on life and death.

Anya Taylor-Joy is sublime in the main role of Elizabeth Harmon, she portrays the character’s development from teen prodigy into adulthood with total believability. There is so much wonderful attention to detail, clearly a lot of care and attention has gone into developing the scenes involving chess game-play. A must watch if even you just get a month subscription to Netflix (for the price of a boxset) This alone would be worth it for Christmas.

This show is one of the most bonkers adult animated shows you will ever see. The show follows Clancy, a giant pink human wearing nothing but a towel to cover his modesty and a Gandalf hat as he dives into a vaginalshaped multidimensional simulator every episode.

This could well be one of the best Netflix shows yet; such an absorbing watch. It very much makes me want to pickup the book by Walter Tevis and delve deeper.

Too much online TV? Confused about know I am because keep track with all produced, let alone to everything!

Pay-Per-View? I it’s impossible to the shows being being subscribed

If your a fan of the old way of what to watch check out our online guide here for a helping hand. thewordmedia.org/ppv-guide

The Last Kingdom

Deep in the heart of every person is a Viking, it might be in your DNA, or just lost somewhere on your bookcase! OK so maybe I am just a history goon, here to feed my craving for adventure by flicking through a little fiction.

Based on books written by Bernard Cornwell this series can keep you hooked if you get into it; with great acting alongside a sweet soundtrack

by Eivør Pálsdóttir.

Uthred our main character does a convincing job as he journeys from one adventure to the next; battling sword in hand, despite what seems to be a huge toffee stuck to the hilt of his sword?! (Sigh.. It made sense in the books). All comical bits aside “did the Vikings really wear plastic helmets?”

Shh!.. Nothing’s perfect on a budget!

If you like this you should check out the series “Vikings”; and for those looking for the ultimate Viking saga - get Tim Severin’s books beginning with Odin’s Son.

VICE Narratives

Nomadic Jurassic

If your looking for true stories VICE is a good place to find perspectives on every type of human experience.

Sometimes all you need is some music to sooth your soul. 75% off his whole discography at the moment!!

youtube.com/c/VICE

youtube.com/c/NomadicJurassic/

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and biodiversity loss also can create epidemic risks through their impacts on our environment.

According to doctor Peter Daszak, president of EcoHealth Alliance, “Changes in the way we use land, the expansion and intensification of agriculture, and unsustainable trade, production and consumption alter nature and increase contact between wildlife, livestock, pathogens and people. This is the path to pandemics.”

By Prof. Pilar Viviente Quan beguis aigua, recorda la font!

When you drink water, remember the fountain!

We all know that water is extremely important in our life – Water is life. It is also a great metaphor of human behaviour – Be fluid my friend. That’s it! Be smart. Be water.

L

ike many have said; who have written about developing ourselves; to be water is to be fluid and flexible under pressure, something that is important now with our need to change for the environment. I feel that is what we should be doing in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic crisis. Be safe.

Be kind. Be just like water.

We’re in this together in every shape and form.

We will get through this together!

Our environment is what houses and helps our ecosystem grow and thrive.

All of the ecosystems that make up our environment are deeply connected. By

not protecting and caring for our environment we’re putting so many lives at danger such as animals, plants and crops, and even our own. We are not fully aware of the seriousness of the situation. 50 years

“We forget that the water cycle and the life cycle are one.”

Jacques Yves Cousteau ago, on April 22, Earth Day was celebrated for the first time to raise awareness of the problems caused by pollution. In the current COVID-19 crisis, we should make short and longterm decisions to improve protection and respect for our planet. Celebrations

An example of ecological agriculture, key to the preservation of the planet’s biodiversity, is the irrigation ditch. As our veins, the ditches carry life.

and news are not enough, educational action is needed worldwide. By instance, Water in our Life: Textbook for Teachers in Environmental Education Developed by a group of scientists from ITE “Internationalisation and Innovation of Teacher Education” with support of UNESCO and the United Nations Environment ‘Programme and the German Commission for UNESCO (1993).

It is known that there is no great mystery about the cause of the coronavirus pandemic or any other modern pandemic. The same human activities that drive climate change

“We’re pumping irreplaceable groundwater to counter global droughts. When it’s gone, the real crisis begins.”

National Geographic This has inspired my film SWEET WATER – SAVE NATURE SAVE CULTURE. 2007 [HQ] 2:58, which was featured at the Stage 8 event, a promotional event held on 7/7/07, under the “Live Earth – the concerts for a climate in crisis” of Al Gore. The event was an offer Stage 8 Film Annex to display in a virtual event the selected videos in the call for Artport Project.

Stage 8, the Z-Rocks festival Outdoor Amphitheatre in the virtual world of Zwinktopia, moved to 7 million registered users to save the planet. The show consisted of 24 hours in

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Pilar’s latest Rodete artworks.

Pilar (centre) at an art exhibition.

About the artist Pilar is a multidisciplinary artist belonging to the “reflective generation” that came to prominence towards the end of the 80s and beginning of the 90s. She was awarded the Premio Nacional de Terminación de Estudios (Award for the Best National Degree), and has received numerous awards and grants.

Doctor from the UB, member of InSEA (UNESCO) and art critic (Arte Omega, El Temps d’Art, Grupo Noticias), she is also a lecturer in the Faculty of Fine Arts at the UMH since 1998, where she has been Director of the Drawing Area for seven years, and of the International Relation Office for two years.

She has put on over a hundred national and international exhibitions in different galleries and museums. Her work is represented in important museums and private / public collections all over the world.

Water Is Life. Be Water. about.me/pilarviviente

programs where major artists of today hung video clips, webcasts, performances, interviews featuring his music and his commitment to saving the environment and create a sustainable future.

Zwinktopia received press coverage autonomic of 60 Minutes. Press releases were sent to major news sources on the world scene.

The promotional videos were presented with seven days notice on the home

Viewable here thewordmedia.org/water-is-life/

page of Zwinktopia.

My video shows how important it is to SAVE NATURE and SAVE CULTURE, and the film ends with the message WATER IS LIFE. SAVE NATURE on a dry and cracked earth. SWEET WATER means freshwater, which saves nature from global warming and saves lives, and refers to the protection of natural

resources, natural energy, solar electricity … The video stimulates creativity and the feeling of fluid, its liquid nature –Fluid is the new flexible. As Bruce Lee said, “Be like water.”

“Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless – like water. Life is easier when you are able to flow with the changes.

The images and sound of nature come from a natural environment located in a local villa in Altea, Alicante (Spain). The water system is an ancient irrigation technique used by the farmers of the Valencian Community for hundreds of years since the Middle Ages – a small water channel that runs through the land, a very ecological system which is in the process of disappearing but still exists in the municipality. There is a Water Route through Altea la Vella that links six points of interest linked to the old cultivation and irrigation techniques.

It will take you around 25 minutes to walk this charming route that will bring you closer to the agricultural culture of the

“Water is the most critical resource issue of our lifetime and our children’s lifetime. The health of our waters is the principal measure of how we live on the land.”

Luna Leopold Valencian orchard. And you can enjoy the Big Fountain, the Carob Tree Fountain and the ravine after the rains.

This video and the previous one of 6 minutes have been shown in numerous exhibitions – Le Petit Versailles Garden, NYC, in 2006. Paraninfo of Zaragoza University in 2001, AECI Cultural Center of Spain in St Domingo, Dominican Republic, in 2002, Ibercaja Valencia in 2007, BilbaoArte As we are fighting for local agriculture and nature in our area we hope other communities around the world will get the chance to do the same so that we can all stand together.

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THE ENVIRONMENT 2021

Greenpeace animation Monster, the sequel to Rang-Tan, is a new short film from Greenpeace made with four-time Academy Award, Golden Globe, BAFTA and Emmy nominated animation studio Cartoon Saloon and independent creative agency Mother, to support our mission to end the role of industrial meat in deforestation and environmental damage, and to challenge the companies who are responsible. thewordmedia.org/monster-in-my-kitchen

Here we pose the question - why should I be worried about the globalist craze for green energy & what does it mean to me??

It is a scientific fact that children and adults who live near to traffic congested or industrial areas will suffer many health implications, it is only right, if we care about our society, as a whole, that we should investigate ways that we can help effect positive change for local living environments.

Whether you believe in Climate Change - or think it is a natural cycle of our planet to alternate between hot and cold, most would say it is still wise to learn the details for yourself as to what and why - because we all know how much ca$h big business will throw at us to sell us what they want us to see.

Yes the planet does change naturally, but the last time CO2 was recorded as high as today in our atmosphere was over 2 million years ago! CO2 is a huge problem from industry to agriculture! It would be quite naive to assume that our planet can naturally cope with the scale of pollution that humanity has created.

Festival of Spring Walks This January wrap up warm, embrace the elements and savour time spent in the great outdoors. It doesn’t need to be a long trek - the shortest of walks will do you good. A fresh air walk is the perfect way to reconnect with nature. Whether you love to walk alone, with a friend, family or your loyal canine, now is the time to head out for a walk to let your mind wander, ease your stress and feel some clean air cheer.

Spot these spring flowers

Winter Roses

Snowdrops

How clean is your river?

As a keen wild swimmer I have been very concerned by the lack of clarity concerning UK waterways. With the government saying one thing; but delivering virtually nothing from privatised water management companies something is going to give.

All of the rivers, lakes and streams in England are polluted, says the Environment Agency.

Tests reveal a complete lack of progress towards a cleanup target by 2027. The most problematic pollutants being chemical sewage discharge, farming, and industrial chemicals.

With stricter testing brought in from the EU showing long-banned pollutants such as PCB to also be an issue - its about time more was said about this from our London obsessed politics and mass media.

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I AM YOU AND YOU ARE ME AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHER is normal. Many people simply give up saying “I can’t meditate,” but the simple fact is that everyone can meditate. It’s a learned skill which, as with all skills, deepens through daily practice.

If you could make one wish that would be something to affect all people in the globe, what would it be?

Well, that’s an easy one. My wish is that all people on the planet relate to each other with kindness, respect, and gentleness.

a k u r u G h it w w ie v r e t in n A sa is the ates Guruka Singh Khal Born in the United St widely known for his d an et N kh Si e th of r founde popular YouTube Videos

Such a delight to chat with Guruka anytime, I’d really recommend his website where you can join classes online. kundaliniuniversity.com What do you practice?

Self-evolution, Compassion, Service and kindness.

What is kundalini Yoga?

Kundalini Yoga is called the Yoga of Awareness. It is a dynamic, powerful tool that is designed to give you an experience of your soul.

In Kundalini Yoga we harness the mental, physical, and subtle energies of the body and put them under the domain of the will, which is the instrument of the soul. This technology precisely and consciously combines breath, mudra, eyefocus, mantra, body locks, and postures to balance the glandular system, strengthen the nervous system, expand lung capacity, and purify the blood. It brings balance to the body, mind, and soul.

Kundalini Yoga is not a religion. When we apply the technology of Kundalini Yoga to our bodies and minds, it has the effect of uplifting the spirit. It is for everyone. It is universal and non-denominational.

Kundalini Yoga is a yoga for householders, for people who have to cope with the daily challenges and stresses of holding jobs, raising families, and managing businesses.

It is a path for everyone who wants the skills to cope successfully with the challenges of our times.

Do you think someone can practice meditation even if they don’t believe in the idea of God? Absolutely! Meditation isn’t about ideas or beliefs. It is a technique for gaining control over one’s own mind. If we win that battle, we win everything.

I have met many people who tell me they cannot meditate because their mind is too active, is that something you’re familiar with?

Yes. When people first begin to meditate they are still easily distracted and led by their thoughts. That ‘restless’ stage

What is the connection between yourself & your religion?

I don’t consider myself a religious person.

I don’t ‘believe in God.’ Organized Religion is now in the process of ending on this planet. It’s done well over the last 5,000 years or so, but now it’s time for humanity to wake up and for us to support each other in waking up. The Spirit is in every one of us and we no longer need middlemen to intercede on our behalf.

In that regard - what do you think of other religions, and possibly why do you think religions don’t seem to get along when the core messages (away from politics) are the same?

It’s just ego. As soon as someone thinks of himself as better than another, that’s where the trouble begins. I’ve spent many years doing ‘inter-religious work’ and ultimately it boils down to each person.

What many religions provide is a shared group experience of devotion. That can be healing. But as soon as ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ come into it, judging begins and the unity is lost.

Choose beauty... so you define ugly Select good, so you create evil As you choose your joy, so you design your sorrow All love,

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ART AND NATURE ARE THERAPEUTIC SO I LIKE TO COMBINE matter what your finished sketch looks like. Do it for you.

You’re making a present to give to yourself because sometimes you forget YOU are the most important person in your life.

Initially it’s not an easy activity (you will get better at it with practice) it’s rigorous brain gym and because of this your thoughts are instantly diverted away from the troubled ones.

It shuts up the pesky monkey mind chatter.

“Art is a harmony parallel with nature.”

Paul Cezanne

Watercolours and wildlife Art and nature are therapeutic so I combine the two for a double dose of feel good. Sketching animals outside in nature has been my defence in a lifelong battle with depression. By Fiona Gomez.

Artist, illustrator, and Quantum Health Hypnosis Practitioner.

I had suffered from depression since childhood and received therapy and prescribed medication which actually made me worse (obtusely a side effect of my antidepressant was suicidal depression)! but taking a break outdoors, away from the distractions at home, with my bird watching scope and sketching gear I’d notice my crushed spirit would instantly lift.

I’d realise with one big sigh as I sat poised

to start painting, that I’d forgotten how to breathe properly. I had been shallow breathing, in a state of permanent tension, but while looking at birds close-up through my scope, I’d find myself breathing deeply in awe and wonder, nature’s beauty filling my heart and lungs.

SKILLS NOT REQUIRED You don’t have to be an artist. As long as you can put pencil to paper you can benefit from this activity. It really doesn’t

After about 10-30 minutes of trying too hard (I call this a warm up) you’ll get into ’the flow’. You stop ’efforting’ and allow the pencil/brush in your hand to take over as you disconnect your conscious brain, and the sketch will seem to draw itself! Remember to switch off the mobile phone, stay focused. I’ve heard some say getting into this creative ’flow’ (includes writing, music, dance, etc) is much more effective than meditation.

I’ll paint under an umbrella in the rain but joining your local Wildlife Trust gives you access to their peaceful wildlife reserves where you can take shelter in their ’hides’.

I also love to paint by water. Water is extraordinarily healing. It’s movement, flow and reflections imbue a sense of calm and serenity. A sunset reflected on water is just stunning, a perfect end to the day.

You could make your art therapy easier by not sketching moving birds or animals but I believe they heighten the joy. When I’m surrounded by preening swans and geese it warms my heart to realise I’ve been accepted as part of the ’Gaggle’. Over years I’ve observed the individual personalities and antics of wildlife and I believe we’re

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THE TWO FOR A DOUBLE DOSE OF REFRESHING FEEL GOOD

My Art Materials My scope, tripod and binoculars are my most expensive kit; they are great for detailed sketches of animals and birds whose fear of humans keeps them distant, but I find lots of birds congregate at popular lakes, water parks, and riversides waiting for people to feed them. If you have bird food you won’t even need binoculars!

Using decent art materials improves results and adds to the pleasure of sketching. It’s worth spending on quality watercolours to get strong pigments. If drawing try an automatic 0.5mm pencil (no need to sharpen) with a softer dark lead, 2B or 3B for dramatic contrast, and cartridge paper that’s not too smooth. I’ve found Boldmere brushes from The Works are amazingly good and you can get a pack of 9 for under a fiver! If you can afford to splash out then Rosemary & Co have a huge range of excellent quality brushes. My portable easel desk cost me £10 from The Works.

Good quality watercolour paper plays with colours wonderfully, 300gsm (thick) will hold lots of water before buckling, but I’ve also had decent results with wall paper liner you buy in a roll.

Jackson’s Art have a huge range of quality materials with reviews. Their prices are reasonable so you can buy from them or source items from somewhere cheaper.

(Beware of online counterfeits)

only different in our lifestyles and communication, our spirits, emotions and struggles with abundance are basically the same! Personally I don’t think animals are on earth for us to eat, I think they’re here to uplift our spirits and whilst sketching them they’ve certainly lifted mine in awe and wonder at their beauty and endurance and they make me laugh.

I’ve never felt comfortable in the company of humans, always waiting to be judged.

But I’m always at ease in nature, and my animal models don’t judge me even when I forget their food. Do you know there’s a crow at Stappenhill Gardens, Burton Upon Trent, that says ’HELLO’ in a voice identical to mine? I’ve recorded it.

Available for tuition and free sketching outdoors sessions for those in need of upliftment in the Burton Upon Trent area.

ART THERAPY The use of artistic methods to treat enhance health is known as art therapy.

Art therapy is a technique rooted in the idea that creative expression can foster healing and well-being.

Art is used to aid people explore emotions, develop self-awareness, cope with stress, boost self-esteem, and work on social skills helping to overcome stress, and explore different aspects of their own personalities.

Contact Fiona Gomez here: craftcourses.com/providers/wild-at-art facebook.com/fionadoodles/

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WORD Not lost wasEarly I May 2021 And I came across

but long I walked, an ocean lost, across an in a deep and empty hidden place. plain..

Deeper into the caves we tread; a place I have been reflected.. into the soul of the cold dark Earth.

What do you see in this darkness?

Only the self that hides. the sleeper of your deepest fears.. some fear to be alone.. others just fear to be - I find a light in this dark place.

My mind is playing tricks already.. I see flames like a fire..

The A Magazine Beneath my feet, Within my mind, this turning beat; a blinding light; from a pulse so close, was death so long ago.. to hell.

Energy streams light deep underground - each step walking through flickering flames.

We question our minds, bewildered by sensations and memories of places.. such deep love in faces..

We are descending far into souls from times long forgotten..

This is so unreal

You say you are a man of logic, but you forget logic changes as we conceive change. everything alters in time - even physics.. so it is with every life.

But joy is born upon the air; to be aware of life!..

..stars hold the souls of those we’ve loved, as you pass these things.. some can see it all.. live forever..

There!

I see the face of a man!

By love,thewordmedia.org let loose with not an end; it was then I found Myself.

before you.. from a time when violent kings reigned the Earth. Souls still living; each as a painted memory - the children of Earth carry such sight.. an eye in every generation..

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More tunnels?! How far can we go on?

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That depends how deep your scars go.. or if they will let you return?

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The Radical Diaries Short stories and quirky quips..

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RUN..RUN FAST..

I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! JUST SAW ONE EAT THE MILKMAN!

Why was the astronaut’s diary blank?

It was filled with space.. Possibly something to do with a Serco scam!.

KEEP RUNNING BRO!

JUST MIND IT’S STILL NOT AS BAD AS A TORY GOVERNMENT THO!

Eye to eye

Matthew Collings

Dear diary, It’s been raining for two weeks straight now. My husband is looking through the window with great longing and sadness in his eyes! If it keeps raining for another two or three days, I’m afraid I’m going to have to let him get into the house.

My parents read the book I was writing.

They said the man character wasn’t likeable... So, yeah, now I have a new hiding place for my diary.

Corbyn gets an unexpected visit

Philip Guston depicting Trump

“decent clothes,” “gas and electricity,” “insurance,” behaving like peasants who have just come out of the fields and are so dreadful tickled because they can buy baubles and doodads in stores.

- A short quote from the diary of Jack Kerouac.

NIRVANA BLONDIE GENESIS FLEETWOOD MAC QUEEN GREEN DAY Get your goggles CREAM on to find these PIXIES Rock bands in RADIOHEAD the word puzzle opposite.

SANTANA Good Luck.

POLICE ROCK HARD WORD SEARCH

“Nothing important happened today” - personal diary of King George III, 4 July 1776 --People rush off to meaningless jobs day after day, you see them I’ve seen Andy Murray quietly make this coughing in the subways at stand a few times, journalism isn’t what it dawn. They squander their used to be - or maybe it is?. souls on things like “rent,”

LOVE YARDBIRDS AEROSMITH ANIMALS WHO DOORS METALLICA KINKS OUTKAST STROKES JAM

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Learn some UK culture

It is very important to learn your bardic history; so here, for your education we are delighted to present Burns & Wordsworth as never glimpsed before.

Darling I don’t think they-re selling icecream

Ma red, red toe!

Ma toe is like a red, red rose; Cause I whapped it on the stool!

Ma toe is just a muckle bruise, Cause’a chunked it like a tool!

THE ROCK HARD WORD SEARCH! S N L L F M E T A L L I C A

L T O O L R A D I O H E A D

A E V C E C R E A M M S E O

M W E I E T E D D O O R S A

O A W E T O U T K A S T E Y

A N H C W Y A D N E E R G A

E I O I O M A J I E O N K R

R M B L O N I X O S I S I D

O A L O D I I M A R T I N B

S L O P M P E N V R N S K I

M S N I A T T A O E I E S R

I D D O C A N K E C I N Y D

T T I N N A E U N E O E N S

H E E A I S Q E O E K G L K

So limp along ma sally boy, n‘ raw my ugly toe!

And sure I’ll curse ma’sell again Whin a hoof it again Th’morra!

The bawdy Bard

I wandered lonely as a cloud

I wandered lonely as a cloud Full to chuck of acid rain!

Well there I was, just by myself, When I saw, a crowd of hunting fools.

Out about at a chase no less, Against a poor red fox.

So I bobbed along my guts a chock, And drowned em’ with my hail.

Check out the quiz answers on the website

Nadine Shah Kitchen Sink “enriching our world”

Norah Jones Pick Me Up Off the Floor “flippin’ excellent”

Cardi B - WAP feat. Megan Thee Stallion “So catchy!”

Hot Picks

Harry Styles Fine Line “refreshingly different”

Billy Wordsworth

WORD

Early May 2021

The A Magazine

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Norah Jones Norah’s live Facebook videos have been keeping many of us listening over lockdown definitely worth a listen.

Down

1. Seasonal flower 3. The industrial revolution 4. frequencies beyond the limits of human hearing 7. Someone crazy about bricks and mortar 8. Which tree do we get turpentine from 9. A type of duck that will be nesting in winter 12. Walled citadel found in North African 15. UK wildlife with a spiky headdress 16. For a nice wrapped gift 17. An animal that never sleeps 21. Part of the eye gives it its colour 23. Gran has a little one on the cold mornings 25. Little green edibles 26. Well known Greek word for horse 29. The Roman goddess of Spring 30. Female version of a peacock 32. Healing essence - the wise gift 33. seen out late hooting and hunting 35. What is the soft spot on a babies head known as 36. Something for after dinner 40. 7 of these are sung about at Christmas

O n l y Love

Michael Kiwanuka 2020 Mercury Prize winner; a lush, immersive album of politicised soul, it sees the artist exploring themes of self-doubt, faith and civil rights.

Across

2. Woodland tree 5. winter brings this in the mornings 6. Fantastic Mr out late at night 9. Collective name for a group of crows 10. Material that will not carry an electrical charge called 11. The main constituent of pewter 13. With a bird feeder in your garden you might see this furry friend 14. Seen on mountainsides running with big ears 18. Largest moon of Saturn 19. Grassland of Northern America Called 20. International symbol of happiness 22. Copper is named after which island in the Mediterranean 24. Prickly woodland tree 27. A golden flyer with a red face 28. Dol is a unit of measurement for what 31. UK singing bird also known as Lullula 34. Largest gift ever given to a country 37. Representative of a great victory 38. Keeps the child happy 39. A helping hand 41. Which mammal lives the longest 42. The commonest bird in Britain

W il l C o n q u e r

H a te

New

Our Chilled Music Picks

THE

Bob Dylan - New Album Dylan’s 39th album, Rough and Rowdy Ways, a beautiful and well created record; ten new songs to equal any of his late albums such as Time Out of Mind.

80s

Future Islands - As Long As You Are, Baltimore New

synth-poppers smooth lyrics really do grab you by the heart.

Talk Talk The Colour of Spring, released in 1986 is a Digital

Carbon Based Lifeforms

Fontaines D.C. - A Hero’s Death It’s a grab bag full of

Just search online for these amazingly chilled musicians.

Irish post-punk epics that are definitely worth a listen.

Tell us your picks

Found a new album you want to share?

Send in your comments. thewordmedia.org/contact-information/

fantastic set of tunes from the 80s to relive.

Classic

Air - Moon Safari

One of my favourite albums to get me through any day.

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SATIRE

POLITICS AND EVENTS

Early May 2021

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Early May 2021

POLITICS AND EVENTS

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Hope and Good News Songs of the People

The Gathering

by William Mort written in 1834.

HARK! To the hurried trampling Of the many thousand feet, As they hasten to the rendezvous Along the crowded street!

No martial music heralds them, No lordling leads them on; Their trumpet's notes are wild “hurrahs” Plumed chieftain they have none!

Malaysia: The Malaysian bank CIMB has announced it will phase out its financing of coal by 2040. It is the first bank in the 'emerging market' to have a coal exit strategy published. It invested $2.6 billion in the last decade and at least five coal fired projects in Indonesia and Malaysia. The hope is other banks will follow through in the region.

peasant groups and consumers, saying this was 'important steps to move towards an ecological production that preserves biodiversity forged in the hands of farmers for millennia'.

60% forested is due to the stewardship of the indigenous peoples. This ruling allows the Naso Tjer Di people will allow them to lead conservation efforts in their area.

Peru:

Nigeria:

The Peruvian congress has extended the 10 year old moratorium o GM crops for another 15 years.

After 13 years four Nigerian farmers have won a court case against British-Dutch oil giant Shell.

The appeal court in the Hague has ordered compensation to villages polluted by pipeline leaks and told to install an early warning system for future problems.

Mexico:

Panama:

To protect the environment and public health the government is to phase out glyphosate as well as genetically modified corn by 2014.

Greenpeace Mexico hails this victory for environmentalists,

The ancestral lands of the indigenous Naso Tjer Di people have been legally recognised. The area becomes the seventh semiautonomous province. The rich biodiversity in the country which is

Sadly two of the farmers who fought the case with the help Friends of the Earth have died before they achieved this victory.

Yet firm they are in purpose From thraldom to be freed; They have sworn a mighty oath to God, To battle for their creed!

And who, among created men, The dastard that would pause Like her of Sodom, to look back In such a glorious cause?

No princely names possess they Their mission to support; They have not sued to coronets, Nor bowed and cringed at court.

They've passed the palace of the peer, And shunn'd its stately door, Preferring welcome and a meal With the more noble poor.

And now once more they summon Their ill-clad ranks to meet; The rude made bannersrise again, And sail along the street.

King! Lords! And Commons! Ye shall hear What famish'd men can dare – The voice of trampled slaves shall rise And echo through the air!

But, lo! Despair is with them-You may hear his hollow tread, As vacantly he stalks along, And feebly mutters, “Bread!”

And o'er his bony shoulders peers Dark Famine's sunken eye, As with a mocking shout he lifts The gaudy flag on high!

Behold! They gain the platform-Their haggard chairman speaks; Alas! he cannot varnish o'er That mute appeal, their cheeks!

Calmly he speaks, and calmly they Drink every burning word-So still, betwixt each breathing pause A whisper had been heard!

Another rises – limbs deformed Support his wasted frame – And long and loud and wild applause His proud success proclaim!

And lo! A third – well-favout'd he, And young, at least in years – He speaks, and music falls to earth, And draws from beggars tears!

But vain their speeches – vain, alas!

Bright gold would serve them more; What can their feeble cries avail Beneath the fulfang'd boar?

As well, expecting bread, might they Go forth and ask a stone, As seek redress from men whose hearts Are callous to their groan!

O ye who dress in purple robes, And daily eat a meal; And have no wrongs to be avenged, No starving pangs to heal; Plead ye for those who have not gold To pay the pleader's fee;

The poem was written in May 1834. Probably inspired by the movement after the end of the Napoleonic wars for better working conditions, representation and particularly the punitive Corn Laws.

In 1838, the Anti-Corn Law League was established in Manchester by manufacturer Richard Cobden and orator John Bright. Cobden worked hard to influence Conservative Prime Minister Robert Peel that the Corn Laws should be repealed and became an MP himself in 1841.

Peel successfully got the Corn Laws repealed with the help of the Whig opposition in 1846.

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Women who made a Difference N

adezhda Vasilyevna Popova (17 Dec.1921 - 8 July 2013) grew up in Shabnovka, Ukraine which later became part of the Soviet Union.

As a teenager she was a free spirit enjoying music, dance and theatre but easily bored.

Then aged 15 she enrolled in a gliding school without telling her parents. She made her first parachute jump in 1937 and her first solo flight aged16. Despite her parent's objections she obtained her pilot's licence. After an initial rejection the Inspector for Aviation in the Moscow Military District recommended her and she was enrolled in the Kherson flight school, graduating aged 18 and becoming a flight instructor.

When war broke out she tried to be a military pilot but it was not until October 1941 that Stalin allowed the formation three women's aviation regiments. She was desperate to join in the war effort having lost a brother that year in the war and seeing her townspeople abused by the Germans when they invaded.

She became part of a night time bombing regiment flying biplanes used as crop dusters previously. The planes were not equipped with guns, radios, radar

a v o p o P a n v e y l i s a V a d h z e d Na July 2013 17 Dec.1921 - 8

or parachute and made of wood they would catch fire easily.

The Nazis called them 'Night Witches' because the whooshing

noise their plywood and canvas planes made reminded the Germans of the sound of a witch’s broomstick.

The biplanes they flew had an advantage over the faster, deadlier German Messerschmitts: their maximum speed was lower than the German planes’ stall speed, making them hard to shoot down.

They were also exceptionally manoeuvrable.

The pilots’ skill prompted the Germans to spread rumours that the Russian women were given special injections and pills to “give us a feline’s perfect vision at night,” Over a period of 4 years these young heroines flew 30,000 missions, dumping 23,000 tons of bombs on the Germans. These young volunteers, most in their teens and early 20s, became legends of World War II but were for a long time largely forgotten.

During a training mission in March 1942 Popova was leading a formation when two planes were lost in a blizzard, crashing and their all female crew members. They were the first of many casualties sustained by the 'Night Witches'.

She herself was shot down several times but was not seriously

injured. On one occasion she was shot down in the North Caucasus and joined a retreating infantry column she met her future husband, Semyon Kharlamov.

On a relief mission over Novorossiysk, a major port on the Black Sea she was lucky to escape alive. On her return she found her aircraft riddled with bullet holes, right down to her map and helmet!

As the Axis forces began their retreat, Popova's unit followed the front through Belarus and Poland and eventually entered Germany.

It was in Poland that she reached her personal record of 18 sorties in one night. In total, she completed 852 sorties in the war.

Her regiment was dissolved in October 1945, and Popova returned to her town to a hero's welcome, complete with marching band and flowers thrown over her car. She was driven to the theatre, where 2,000 people were waiting for her.

She married Semyon soon after the war. Her husband went on to attain the rank of colonel general in the Soviet Air Force, They were married for many years until his death in 1990. Together they had a son, who grew up to be a general in the Belarusian air force.

She continued working as a flight instructor for almost two decades.

She became one of the most highly decorated Soviet pilots with awards that included “Hero of the Soviet Union”, the Gold Star Medal, the Order of Lenin, and three Orders of the Red Star.

Asked if she ever feel scared?

There was no time for that, Nadia later declared.

Rather, it was the biting cold of winter that really hurt, giving the pilots frostbitten faces and frozen feet. They were poorly kitted with oversized hand me-down uniforms from male pilots. She also recalled that although they were heroines in the Soviet press, the male soldiers resented them and mocked them as ‘the skirt regiment’. They even had to endure some sexual harassment.

Yet, they proved that neither courage nor fighting ability is limited to the male gender.

In an interview with The New York Times in 2010 she said “I sometimes stare into the blackness and close my eyes,” and “I can still imagine myself as a young girl, up there in my little bomber. And I ask myself, ‘Nadia, how did you do it?’”

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THE ASSAULT ON TRUTH BOOK REVIEW

CULTURE BOOK REVIEW

By-line: Harold Biffen

P

eter Oborne, a public school educated Oxbridge pundit, and Eric "Ricky" Tomlinson, a time-served plasterer and one of the Shrewsbuy 24, have one thing in common. They know what it is like to be blacklisted, or in Oborne's upper-class case, "blackballed". attention necessary to address it.

Tomlinson we all know about. Unable to find work in the construction industry after he was jailed for two years in a show trial he lived from hand to mouth and finally found success as an actor. But Oborne? A rightwing journalist on the right-wing press who finally became chief poltical commentator on The Daily Telegraph and a leader writer on the Daily Mail?

In his latest book The Assault on Truth Oborne describes how

and when it dawned on him that he had been frozen out. He had written an article about collusion between the right wing press and Boris Johnson, the prime minister. None of his high-up pals would touch it. As he says "This article marked the end of my 30-year career as a writer and broadcaster in the mainstream British press and media."

stopping him. Several months later I finally decrypted this remark.

Not a team player..(Guess which team.).

First he falls out with the Telegraph because he has a "bee in his bonnet" about the paper pulling its punches with advertisers such as HSBC. Next he has a run-in with the Mail over claims that they took No 10 statements as holy writ.

Discussing the "Oborne case" with one of his former colleagues on the Telegraph he mused that the problem with Oborne was that once he got a "bee in his bonnet" there was no

The other problem with Oborne is that he is an autodidact. No broadbrush stuff for him, (Want to know how much Johnson got for his "chicken feed" Telegraph stuff?

Down to the last penny.) it's a point of honour to source all clams. His "bee in a bonnet" book on Iraq is a forensic

demolition of Tony Blair. Ditto Alastair Campell in The Rise of Political Lying.

Equally he does not mind defying received wisdom. His book on Iran starts from asking one question.: How come it is okay for the west to finance Iran's nuclear programme when the shah in charge but now it's verboten?.

His big thing in this polemic is e p i s t e m o l o g y.

The rules for rational discussion and truth telling. The villains? Johnson, Trump and the media. So what, you might say. The funny thing is that much of what he says, about "tribal epistemology" has uncanny echoes in the weaponisation of truth that is going on now in the Labour party with Sir Keir playing the role of Cardinal Bellarmine

THE

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POLITICS AND EVENTS

Early May 2021

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21

Ancient Bushcraft Skills

Make String From Stinging Nettles How to Make String From Stinging Nettles 1) First of all, the best time to make nettle cordage is in the latter stages of summer, when nettles become tall and thin.

This is for two reasons.

Firstly, at this point most of our wildlife has made good use of the nettles, and, as you will notice from the pictures, the nettles have developed long, strong and woody stems. Young nettles are too fragile and wet to use effectively.

Select a nettle which is as straight as possible, as kinks from the turgid stems can, and do, present weak points within the structure.

You don’t need gloves to harvest nettles, as if handled correctly, beginners very often get stung whilst learning, so wearing gloves is nothing to be ashamed of like some will have you believe.

2) As the saying goes “Grasp the Nettle” firmly and cut off at the very base, close to the ground.

3) Now you need to remove the stinging hairs from the stem and all of the leaves. You can achieve this by firmly and swiftly running your hand towards the top of the nettle, taking the weaker tip off as you go. I advise that you don’t stand into the wind when doing this, as the small hairs will land on your clothing and present you

CHESS

with strings throughout the day.

Once this is done, you will be left with a smooth bald nettle stem.

index finger so that the inner stem snaps outwards, this needs to be removed.

4) If you’ve not already removed the tip and if you too have the root still attached to the nettle, then now is the time to cut these away.

8) You are now left with the fibres from the nettle (essentially the skin) which is going to be formed into the strong nettle twine.

5) The stem now needs to be lightly crushed, but you must avoid damage to the outer fibres as this will become your string.

9) The fibres now need to be left to air dry. If they become too dry, you may need to soak them in a little water later on or they can become brittle and papery.

6) Split the stem and open with your fingers. It’s handy to have slightly long nail for this.

7) Now comes the crucial part – you will notice the inner part of the nettle is very woody.

Bend the nettle stem over your

10) Braiding – this is what give your nettles fibres the strength they will need.

11) Strip a thin strand from the larger tape-like piece of outer stem.

12) Find the mid-way point.

13) You must now roll each strand independently from each other. Each time you get to the end of the rolling process, let go with your left hand and the natural properties of the nettle will allow it to braid. Repeat this process as many times as needed. It’s probably best to YouTube this technique. Many people will recommend doing this against your bare leg, but if you have hairy legs you will soon find out that this is NOT a good idea 14) Extra fibres may be added within the cordage easily, just insert another length and use the same technique described above.

CHESS IN TWO

CHESS IN TWO

White to move

White to move

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POLITICS AND EVENTS

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Cartoon • Domenic Cummings • Pritler Patel

Astronomy Quiz Questions • Name the nearest known star to the Sun? • Which rare astronomical event occurs when a high-mass star reaches the end of its life?

• The Shoemaker-Levy 9 comet smashed into which planet in July 1994?

• Name the brightest star in the constellation Ursa Minor?

• Which astronomer is best known for his laws of planetary motion?

• In 1610, who discovered the four largest moons of Jupiter using a telescope?

• The Sun is composed primarily of which chemical element?

• Which astronomer proposed an equation to work out how many civilizations there could be in our galaxy?

• Name the galaxy that contains the Solar System?

• What unit of length is equal to about 3.26 lightyears?

• Proxima Centauri • A supernova • Jupiter • Polaris (also known as the Pole Star or North Star) • Johannes Kepler • Galileo Galilei • Hydrogen • Frank Drake • The Milky Way • A parsec Answers

.

Crossword

Ian Quaife....

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POLITICS AND EVENTS

Early May 2021

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Vegan Recipes VEGAN BANK HOLIDAY BARBEQUE Ingredients 1 x 400 g tin of chickpeas 1 x 340 g tin of sweetcorn ½ a bunch of fresh coriander , (15g) ½ teaspoon paprika ½ teaspoon ground coriander ½ teaspoon ground cumin 1 lemon 3 heaped tablespoons plain flour , plus extra for dusting rapeseed oil 1 small round lettuce 2 large ripe tomatoes tomato ketchup 4 wholemeal burger buns

Burgers

a medium heat, add the patties and cook for 10 minutes, or until golden and cooked through, turning halfway.

Drain the chickpeas and Meanwhile, click off, wash and spinsweetcorn, then tip into a food dry four nice lettuce leaves, then processor. Pick the coriander finely slice the tomatoes horizontally. leaves, adding half the leaves Squeeze a large dollop of ketchup and all the stalks to the processor. onto the base of each bun (toast them Add the spices, flour and a pinch of sea if you like), then top with the burgers. salt, finely grate in the lemon zest, then Layer over a couple of slices of tomato, a pulse until combined, but not smooth – you 2cm want to retain a bit of texture. thick. Place in the fridge for 30 minutes to lettuce leaf, a few coriander leaves and finally the burger tops. Delicious served with a fresh On a flour-dusted surface, divide and shape firm up. the mixture into 4 equal-sized patties, roughly Heat a splash of oil in a large frying pan over green salad.

Method

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POLITICS AND EVENTS

The Top 5 OF SILLY THINGS GREEDY POLITICIANS HAVE DONE AS VOTED FOR

BY OUR READERS

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JESS PHILLIPS WANTING TO STAB JEREMY CORBYN IN THE FRONT Labour MP Jess Phillips spoke about the last General election, saying she would knife Jeremy Corbyn “in the front, not the back” if it looks like he is damaging the party’s chances of electoral success. This from a woman who pretends to be against violence. Phillips is typical of her breed of careerist attention seeking money grabbers. She is best friends with Tory toff, Jacob Rees Moggy.

WALLPAPER AT £800 A ROLL FOR BOJO THE INCOMPETENT CLOWN

The Grandson of Queen Victoria and part of the evil of the It was reported on last week that the Prime Minister told aides he could not afford the revamp with speculation as much as £200,000 has been spent on refurbishing the four-bedroom flat at the No 11 residence where he lives with partner Carrie Symonds and son Wilf. The wallpaper cost £840-a-roll.

TONY BLAIR JOINING THE LABOUR PARTY

The liar that is Blair made himself a multi-millionaire through cheating, murder and dodgy deals. Thatcher called him her greatest legacy.

GORDON BROWN’S BIGOTED WOMEN COMMENTS

DECLARING WAR ON GERMANY Like a football match from Hell with a 20 year break for half time millions were needlessly killed for the good of those who already had the worlds riches. In 1914 the ordinary soldiers held a truce at Xmas. Their officers ordered them to start firing on each other again. In WW2 Churchill consistently turned down peace offers so he could glory in war.

The King that pretended to give those in the peasant’s revolt justice. When they had been fooled he told them “peasants you are and shall remain.” He then murdered thousands of them.

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Early May 2021

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Violence in Myanmar S

tate violence has reached new heights in Myanmar (formerly Burma), as the country’s military dictators launched a campaign of state terror in an attempt to reverse the national uprising.

More tha 700 peop n have bee le n and at lekilled as 4,000 t arrested

It began in March with the Battle of Hlaing Tharyar and involved a four-day showdown of workers and students against armed soldiers and police and claimed the the lives of at least 60 demonstrators in a workingclass district of Yangon, Myanmar’s largest city.

The terror has continued, producing new massacres as the anti-coup movement continues to paralyse the economy with strikes in most key sectors and resists the junta as best it can.

In late March, during Armed Forces Day celebrations, which commemorate the beginning of the military’s resistance to Japanese occupation in 1945, the army, accompanied by representatives from Russia, China, India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Vietnam, Laos and Thailand, paraded through the streets of Naypyidaw, the capital.

Meanwhile, demonstrations in major cities and regional centres across the country and at least 114 were gunned down by police and security forces.

According to the Assistance Association for Political Prisoners, more than 700 people have been killed and at least 4,000 arrested since resistance to the coup began on 1 February.

Police Bill, lockdown and

the right to protest

T

he legality of political protest has been constantly in the news in recent weeks.

Hundreds of thousands of people have watched as the police have treated all protests as illegal – irrespective of their justification, and whether the demonstrators were masked and socially distanced or not.

People have been shocked by this and, still more, that the government’s plans to extend as much of the ban on protest as they can into the future.

Barrister David Renton explores why the government is so determined to suppress protest, the Police Bill, and the impact of the Covid regulations on protest rights.

The first thing to grasp is that whether it comes about through the long-term influence of Trump or the Conservatives long standing preCovid fascination with an idea of emergency states requiring emergency rule (no deal Brexit for example).

The Conservatives have long

flirted with a vision of government which, in certain respects, is unlike what mainstream opinion used to mean by democracy.

By this I mean a refusal to tolerate alternative blocks of opinion in the public sector, such as in the BBC, universities and even quangos like the Equality and Human Rights Commission, and more importantly, a hostility to Parliament as the key institution of democracy in favour of executive rule.

relying on what they claimed was ‘royal prerogative’.

Think how Johnson seemed, and how determined he has been never to fail like that again.

weak

The lurch towards ministerial power predates Johnson. It was the issue in the first Gina Miller case about whether Parliament or ministers could implement Article 50 starting the Brexit referendum.

But it sped up with Johnson’s appointment as leader of the Conservatives. In his first three months his government faced 11 defeats in Parliament, his inability to call an election, and the second Gina Miller case which was, again, about who should rule in a democracy, the elected Parliament or ministers

Peop have watle as the poched have trea lice all protested t as illegal s

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What’s behind the riots in Northern Ireland?

In Northe rn I things hareland, only grow ve more wean by turns frustrated ried and as have pastshe years ed

W

hat is notable about the recent rioting in the North of Ireland is not that it has occurred, but that it has gained such significant attention from the media in Britain.

In the 23 years since the Good Friday Agreement, recurrent bouts of rioting have been one of the unhappy legacies of the Troubles in both working class loyalist and

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republican areas. Yet it has not been until recently that these small ‘t’ troubles have attracted such attention from outside the six counties.

In this time the fundamentals of Northern Irish politics and society have not changed, and hence its problems are reinforced and recurring.

That the Good Friday Agreement (GFA) contributed to a lasting era of relative peace is undoubted, but the price has been the unhappy effect of institutionalising sectarian division within the constitution of the state.

Power sharing, whereby the executive branch of the Stormont government must be split between nationalist and unionist parties, has made concrete, in parliamentary

form, the perception that politics is a zero-sum game of ‘them’ versus ‘us’.

This logic has worked itself out in an often petty, dysfunctional form of governance that, following the ‘cash for ash’ scandal (excessive payments for burning wood chips) and unionist intransigence over a planned Irish Language Act, finally led to no government at all for three

years, from January 2017 to January 2020.

Economic life outside of Stormont has been just as stagnant, with little of the promised ‘peace dividend’ in evidence to improve conditions for the working class. All in all, for much of society in the North of Ireland, things have only grown by turns more wearied and frustrated as the years have passed.

TV Viewpoint star accused of sex abuse I

TV has pulled the final episode of the drama Viewpoint following allegations of sexual harassment made against its star, Noel Clarke.

20 ALLEGATIONS MADE BY 20 WOMEN AGAINST ACTOR

The broadcaster said it was 'no longer appropriate to broadcast the final episode' due on Friday as planned.

Sky has also halted its work with Clarke, including a fourth series of its crime drama Bulletproof.

The Kidulthood and Doctor Who star, 45, said he "vehemently denies any sexual misconduct or wrongdoing".

Clarke in a professional capacity.

The next day ITV said it had "a zero tolerance policy to bullying, harassment and victimisation".

It added: "We strongly believe that everyone deserves to work in a supportive and safe environment.

In a statement on Thursday, he said he intended to "defend myself against these false allegations".

"In light of the very serious nature of the allegations against Noel Clarke raised by 20 women in the Guardian's report, ITV has decided it is no longer appropriate to broadcast the final episode of the drama Viewpoint on ITV main channel this evening."

The Guardian newspaper reported on Thursday allegations made by 20 women who knew

However, the finale will be available on its streaming service, ITV Hub, from Friday night for a

limited time "for any viewers who wish to seek it out, and watch its conclusion".

Clarke played a surveillance detective in the show, which has been on ITV every evening this week. It was watched by 3.5 million people on Thursday.

The actor is also known for his role in Bulletproof, which Sky commissioned in January for a fourth series.

But following the allegations, Sky said: "Effective immediately, we have halted Noel Clarke's involvement in any future Sky productions."

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Early May 2021

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27

The Super League is dead

T

uesday was dizzying, like watching the 1989 collapse of the Eastern Bloc in fastforward.

Club-after-club abandoned the European Super League in five hours. The embarrassment of the six English clubs who tried to help arrange a European Championship that gave themselves permanent places was delicious. This was especially true for fans of the 'Big 6', who were collectively livid this new competition was arranged without letting them, players, or coaches know.

? t x e n o g e w o d e r e h w But A gha money-gustly, zombie-co zzling rp has turne that Europeand football in a feudal to aristocrac y

The clubs blinked so quickly that it has completely eliminated their perceived power. In the face of furious and near-unanimous pushback by the football fanbase, they cowered and cringed. Their true colours are unmenacing, meaning anyone wishing to fight them will know they can beat them. That always wins half the battle.

But what next? The Champions League is saved. Therefore the Premier League is saved, as, with the money available in this Super League, domestic leagues would have been devalued. EPL matches would become such secondary sources of revenue, they would be treated the same sad way EFL Cup matches are presently treated.

But saving the UCL is not completely desirable.

The competition genuinely needs reform, albeit the opposite of how the ESL would have worked. It needs to broaden its accessibility to less monied teams, not narrow it.

League by far its most lucrative.

Moreover, with corruption dominating European football's governing body – corruption that created the modern Champions League and Europa League initially – it really needs either complete overhaul, or outright removal.

Equally, a downside of the fans' victory is they have also saved UEFA, which would have been ruined by the ESL. The Champions League, Europa League, and European Nations' Championship are the only reasons it exists, with the Champions

UEFA is as much a moral vacuum as the ESL. It needlessly converted the old Champions Cup into the Champions League in the early-90s for the same reason the ESL12 tried to create a new competition this week – more money for the biggest and richest clubs. The holier-than-thou cries of “snakes!” from UEFA headquarters this week have thus been nauseating. Legal corruption with which UEFA have evaded historic responsibilities turn the nausea into an acute tide of solid vomiting.

Florentino Perez a beaten man

Consider the 1985 Heysel Stadium Disaster, in which a riot between Liverpool and Juventus fans in Brussels led to the deaths of 39, mainly Italian, football supporters, just before that year's European Cup Final was to kick

off. UEFA made sure Liverpool supporters took all blame for the tragedy. Inquiries by Belgian authorities later found that, while Liverpool fans deserved immediate blame, overall, UEFA were as much to blame as anyone due to negligent organisation of the Final, especially brainless ticketing arrangements.

But UEFA spent four subsequent decades dancing around responsibility like walking barefooted through bramble-fields.

Sordid legal wranglings started in 1985 have continued uninterrupted to the present day, demonstrating that UEFA is unfit to be a governing authority; a ghastly, money-guzzling zombie-corp that has turned European football into a feudal

aristocracy, with all the power concentrated in the hands of a few clubs. It was that concentrated power that fuelled the arrogance to dare this coup-attempt.

Football fans must recognise that they were on UEFA's side last week purely as an alliance of convenience with the lesser evil.

Indeed, UEFA should be next target of the fans' ire. Similar public pressure that we saw this week must be redirected at what they were defending by default.

Football is not saved until the root of last week's corruption is gone.

By Martin Odoni

THE

28

WORD

Early May 2021

POLITICS AND EVENTS

thewordmedia.org

COUNTY CHAMPIONSHIP RE A

nother gorgeous weekend of spring sunshine set the stage for, compared to week 2, some relatively gruelling, attritional, but well-played cricket. The early stage of the season has a noticeable 'Wars Of The Roses' flavour,

The R match to oses be at Old Tra played in late-Ma fford y like it wil looks l be as big as it ever ge ts

HOME TEAM

AWAY TEAM

Durham

475ao + 175-2 drawn 267ao + 280-5

Derbyshire

Warwickshire

284ao + 256-3 beat

Essex, by 7 wkts

295ao + 244ao

Worcestershire 436ao

drawn 276ao + 236-0 dec Nottinghamshire

Hampshire

470ao

drawn 320ao + 197-9

Kent

169ao + 351ao lost to 525ao

Northamp'shire 364ao + 357-3 beat Sussex

Gloucestershire Lancashire, +5 runs

407ao + 311-5 dec Glamorgan, by 7 wkts

221ao + 186ao lost to 150ao + 305ao

Yorkshire, by 48 runs

FOOTBALL ROUNDUP

K

ieran Dowell scored twice as already promoted Norwich City fought back to thump Reading and ensure a second Championship title in three seasons.

Peterborough sealed promotion to the Championship as Jonson Clarke-Harris' 96thminute penalty saw them come from 3-0 down to draw with Lincoln.

Brentford's Ivan Toney got his 30th goal of the season to equal the Championship record as he helped his side secure a third-placed finish as they beat second-placed Watford.

Southend have been relegated from the Football League for the first time in 101 years despite winning at Barrow.

An incompetent Chairman looks to expanding his property Empire at the fans expense.

In Friday’s match Southampton held Leicester to a draw despite playing more than 80 minutes with 10 men to frustrate the Foxes in their push to clinch a top-four finish.

Rochdale have been relegated from League One after being beaten at home by Doncaster Rovers.

Grimsby Town will begin life back in the National League next season after having their relegation from the EFL confirmed this week.

with old rivals Lancashire and Yorkshire looking as strong as any of the teams in the modified County Championship.

Lancashire in particular, with Matt Parkinson increasingly looking like the deadliest spin bowler in the whole competition,

were fearsomely impressive on the road in Canterbury against a helpless-looking Kent team who are rooted to the bottom of Group 3.

The Roses match to be played at Old Trafford in late-May looks like it will be as big as it ever gets.

Meanwhile at Edgbaston, a spectacular century from Rob Yates

Injury time d ra m a as N e wc a s t l e d ef y L i ve r p o o l V

AR were Liverpool's saviour last week after chalking off Callum Wilson's late goal for an accidental hand ball, after failing to recognise a tug on Wilson by Kabak as he was through on goal, with Newcastle at the very least not being awarded a penalty.

It should have been three points for the Toon who were robbed at Anfield, after a tense game where Liverpool dominated and created a host of chances but failed to capitalise on their one goal advantage.

Newcastle had also had an earlier goal disallowed by the Toon Army's most despised whistler, but for a correct decision

that clearly was offside.

Whenever Andre Marriner takes charge of a match that includes Newcastle United, the Toon almost always end up with nothing but the lickings of a dog, and was the case today.

The in-form magical SaintMaximin was clattered by the Scouse on more than one occasion with too many dangerous and seriously cynical tackles. But luckily for Liverpool, they had Marriner as their 12th man.

A brilliant goal by Mo Salah early in the first half, and a decent effort by Joe Willock late in the second for the Toon, meant the game finished as a draw. It was to

all intents and purposes a great game to watch, and a cracker for the neutrals, with decent football played by both sides despite Liverpool's overall dominance.

Liverpo dominate created a d ho chances b failed to capitalise their one o g advantago e

Newcastle United are on a very interesting unbeaten run of one defeat in eight games in the Premier league after this draw and are surely now safe from relegation with Fulham needing to win three and draw one of their last five games, which is also dependent on Newcastle failing to win any further points until the end of the season. It's a similar

THE

thewordmedia.org

POLITICS AND EVENTS

Premier League Saturday 1st May 2021 Crystal Palace Brighton

Less happy are Nottinghamshire, who have got away to a startlingly bad start in Group 1, and Leicestershire, who have got away to a predictably bad start in Group 2.

I

flicked on coverage of the Jessica Gadirova competing in the recent European Championships in Basel and was transfixed. She came from qualifying in third place but delivered a near faultless performance in the floor final to win gold. Drawn last to perform she delivered her big combinations superbly.

Her double layout finished in the most perfect landing imaginable.

Next up for the Toon are the Arsenal at St James. Park, on the 2nd May.

Watching' and trying not to be biased, I felt it was a performance worthy of gold although the commentators were unsure.

Indeed it seemed to take some time for Jessica to process that she had won. The first to send her congratulations was her twin sister Jennifer, who stayed away because of a minor injury and had been thought of as the stronger of the pair!

Both sisters had had successful junior careers but this was Jennifer's first major senior outing. She had already won a team bronze and a silver in the vault, placing her as next most successful gymnast behind Ellie Downie, who claimed four in 2017. Downie though was 17 at the time and had already been competing as a senior for two years.

0-2 0-2

Manchester City Leeds United

0-0 0-4 1-0 4-1 1-1 0-2 2-1 2-0 4-1 2-0 1-1 1-1

Nottingham Forest Cardiff City Bournemouth Bristol City Blackburn Rovers Queens Park Rangers Derby County Watford Reading Barnsley Middlesbrough Coventry

2-3 1-2 0-3 3-1 3-3 1-2 1-1 0-1 1-3 1-3 1-1 1-1

Oxford United Doncaster Rovers Blackpool Wigan Athletic Lincoln City Ipswich Town Milton Keynes Dons Crewe Alexandra Sunderland Portsmouth Gillingham Charlton Athletic

1-0 1-0 1-2 0-2 4-1 2-3 1-0 3-3 0-0 1-2 2-1

Cheltenham Town Port Vale Exeter City Morecambe Oldham Athletic Carlisle United Salford City Crawley Town Scunthorpe United Southend United Tranmere Rovers

CHAMPIONSHIP

New Era for British gymnastics?

The luck of Steve Bruce is back. How Saint-Maximin wasn't stretchered off in this game is perhaps a definitive feature of that very interesting development. You don't have to be a great manager, but if you're a lucky one, you could survive almost anything thrown at you, with the exception of a few dozen Exocet missiles with your name carved into them, or a maybe a full scale all out nuclear attack.

29

Week-ending 25th April 2021

for Warwickshire secured a notable victory over champions Essex.

situation with West Brom needing to win four and draw one of their last six games.

WORD

FOOTBALL RE SU LTS

ESULTS

ool d and ost of but o on oal e

Early May 2021

Saturday 1st May 2021 Sheffield Wednesday Birmingham Wycombe Wanderers Millwall Rotherham United Stoke City Swansea City Brentford Norwich City Preston North End Luton Town Huddersfield Town

Although Russia dominated the championships, Britain was the second most successful team with a total of six medals. With Jennifer Gadirova and both Downie sisters opting out with injuries the future looks brighter for women's gymnastics.

It is to be hoped that these successes lift the 'cloud' hanging over the sport after a year of scandal including legal action from a group of 17 alleged victims of abuse.

Unless there is a major competition gymnastics is one of many sports which gets little media coverage which is a pity.

Whilst it is like many sports a certain body type is important to succeed at top level. Having said that as I taught Physical Education for some time it was, along with athletics the core of the syllabus when I was in charge and I know the benefits for children taking part in these activities.

Speed, muscular development, concentration, coordination and most importantly discipline are attributes which are transferable to other sports. So I hope Jessica's success can inspire more children to at least try the sport.

John Wilkins

DIVISION 2 Shrewsbury Rochdale Northampton Town Hull City Peterborough United Swindon Town Fleetwood Town Bristol Rovers Plymouth Argyle AFC Wimbledon Burton Albion Accrington Stanley

DIVISION 2 Newport County Grimsby Town Bolton Wanderers Walsall Mansfield Town Leyton Orient Colchester Stevenage Bradford City Barrow Forest Green Rovers

30

THE

WORD

Early May 2021

POLITICS AND EVENTS

thewordmedia.org

2021 Lea T

he headline here perhaps overplays how exciting the final was. Manchester City dominated, Tottenham turned up.

The tie was decided by an Americ Laporte goal in the 82nd minute.

Americ La now has a porte six winne record rs medals

CARABOU CUP - MANCHESTER CITY 1 SPURS 0

Totenham fans might complain that Laporte should not have been on the pitch; he had engaged in a number of cynical professional fouls.

This would have canged the scorer, though not the result.

Tottenham's one man up font with it all to do, Harry Kane, looked sufficiently unfit that he may have been better rested.

Gareth Bale was brought on late with little impact.

EX-MAN UNITED PLAYER AND WELSH MANAGER FORMALLY CHARGED

Giggs Charged With ABH and Abuse M

ost criminal charges will be heard at first in the Magistrates Court; usually if there is enough evidence the person accused will plead guilty in the hope of avoiding the Crown Court ability to enforce a higher sentence.

Some people involved see Crown Court as intimidating and often drop charges if unsuccessful in the Magistrates Court. One of the main two types of cases which reach Crown Court are rich people spending money to try and get out on any possible basis.

Our legal syst e needs to m proceed a serve just nd ice

The other type are the cases where the accuser feels a need for real justice, and the person charged would never wish to admit guilt.

Cases involving abuse of sexual partners. This case both has a very wealthy defendant, and, despite two charges being common assault

and actual bodily harm, the accusation of abusive coercive behaviour lasting some three years.

It may be some time before the case reaches Crown Court, and people will use that time to conjecture and take sides.

Ryan Giggs remains, as is our custom since ancient times, innocent until found guilty. He also remains the idol of many football fans. A summer in which every goal scored by Wales is accompanied by some kind of remark about it being for their absent manager would pay insult to the severity of the accusations and the suffering of

many in abusive relationships.

Giggs has some history when married of adultery with his brother's wife Natasha , and using an injunction to silence the news of his affair with Big Brother's Imogen Thomas However those who choose sides purely on the basis of their own sexual identity will likewise be ignoring the serious nature of the charges.

Some tabloids might look to sensationalise this case, but The Word believes that for our broader society our legal system needs to proceed and serve justice.

By Susan Port

THE

thewordmedia.org

POLITICS AND EVENTS

Early May 2021

WORD

31

ague Cup Final Looking for interest in the game, we can only think of the quiz question element.

Pep Guardiola

Manchest e City r ma

Liverpootl'ched winning t s record, he Le Cup four ague consecutiv e times

became the first manager tio win the League Cup four consecutive times.

Manchester City matched Liverpool's record, winning the League Cup four consecutive times.

Manchester city have now won the trophy on eight occasions matching Liverpool's record, Americ Laporte now has a record six winners medals, outdoing the five won by Ian Rush with Liverpool.

Exeter Excel

Football MANAGEMENT

a working class occupation I

If you ever did, it might carry a tale of how the dressing room was filled with division and how the players were forced to train for ten hours a day while the manager stood at the bar in the supporters club filling the heads of fans with so much nonsense and propaganda, that when the eventual relegations came, the only people who cared about anything at the club where the St John's Ambulance Where would football be without socialism? Good question and I'm pleased you asked. There will be some people today who aren't aware that Sir Matt Busby, Bill Shankly and the great Jock Stein were all socialists.

T

he top two teams in the English Rugby Premiership played on Friday at Ashton Gate. Bristol came into the game on a six game winning streak' not unlike August 2020 when facing Exeter under similar circumstances. Exeter were again a team with strength in depth & the team to beat. As with that game Bristol started at a frenetic pace intending to offer no quarter to Exeter.

With different results from August Bristol opened the scoring.

Fly-half Andy Uren seeing the space receiving the pass, and throwing himself over the try line. With strength and power Exeter pushed over for their own try, neither try was converted. Back row forward Sam Simmonds then broke clear before passing to lightning Tom O'Flaherty who dodged Bristol's last back to score. With three points kicked Exeter's 15-5 lead looked comfortable going in at half time (again not unlike August's game).

Unlike that previous meeting Exeter never looked like losing this one, and in the 55th minute Flanker Jacques Vermeulen scored the next try. Bristol are not a weak side, and they were going to respond, but Exeter can defend as well as attack. Early try scorer Uren seeing the space to find the Bristol Full Back, All Black Charles Piutau who had played an essential part in that first try. Piutau with clever footwork and deft hands gave the opportunity to Wallaby Winger Luke Morahan who's try was converted. That was the 77th minute, and a couple of minutes of match was never going to lead to the eight further points Bristol needed.

Exeter looked good for their win, 20 points to 12. The Exeter squad is brimming with players who would happily grace any Lions tour, but the choosing of that squad is already one of infinite possibilities.

By Sue Port

The magnificent Brian Clough was a socialist. Also Sir Alf Ramsey.

And not forgetting the enigmatic Sir Bobby Robson. Between them, they won every trophy going. All socialists, all from working class backgrounds, and all with a firm belief in solidarity.

It was Shankly who said; “Pressure is working down the pit.

Pressure is having no work at all.

Pressure is trying to escape relegation on 50 shillings a week.

Pressure is not the European Cup or the Championship or the Cup Final.

That’s the reward.”

What can it mean to a football club to have a great socialist manager? Silverware? A bigger stand? An extended fan base? Ask Alex Ferguson at Manchester United, he did all of that, and yes, he's another socialist.

The greatest manager out of all those mentioned is really hard to say, but very probably is Sir Matt Busby.

And when it comes down to it, without solidarity, socialism and strength in unity, the creation of the

Busby Babes is one we'd never have seen or even heard about.

Money has certainly spoiled the great sport of the working classes, but it hasn't killed it in the way that placing a Tory in charge of the country brought it to its knees. Every time we elect a Tory the same thing happens. The majority are always worse off with division and propaganda being an every day occurrence. Lost jobs, lost hope and bleak futures ahead for most people.

If politicians won trophies for the time they spent in office, the Tories wouldn't win so much as a chocolate bar in a raffle, while the socialists would win all the honours going and fill the tallest glass cabinet while breaking records along the way.

All in all, success comes with everyone helping each other. You can't beat socialism and solidarity, either as a football fan, or as part of the electorate.

In 200 Southend 6 United knocked Manchest United ou er t of the league cu p.

THE DEATH OF

FOOTBALL

MS WHILE THE BIG CLUBS DROOL ABOUT THE RICHES OF A SUPER LEAGUE TEA

LIKE

GUE FOOTBALL FINISHED LEA OF RS YEA 100 S SEE NER OW PT INE AN .

DER UN GO ND THE SOU

I

n 2006 Southend United knocked Manchester United out of the league cup. That was a full Manchester first team including, Rooney and Ronaldo.

Roots Hall was buzzing with

Football i s a people’ s game sto len by the ric h.

excitement as Freddy Eastwood scored the winner. Fast forward to the end of this season and the shrimpers are heading for non – league football with a set of players who would find it difficult to win a match against Great Wakering Rovers.

In truth the rot set in years ago as with all of football the corrupt money men of Capitalism circled like vultures.

Anton Johnson bought and nearly killed the club in the 80’s and with most of the South bank being sold off the ground has never been the same since.

There has been the promise of a new stadium since at least 1977. The present one has already been sold off to Sainsbury’s. One cannot help but think a dead football club would suit the money men down to their property developing wallets. Meanwhile ex Southend player and Villa supporter Stan Collymore is trying his best to help save the club. Few other big names seem to care.

Football is part of the soul of our communities. A people’s game stolen by the rich. Some clubs come back. Some never do.

We, the supporters, need to fight for our game.