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AreYou theParent You Want to Be?

Practical Tips and Self-Assessment for Parents of Young Children

Are you the parent you want to be?

Most of us think we could do better – some days a lot better! And we feel guilty, because we think we’re failing our children. But you know what? Your baby didn’t come with a book of instructions. Try this quiz to get a better idea of how you’re doing.

The quiz is based on the concerns and questions of a lot of parents. Parents like you, who have discovered (with a shock) how much life has changed since they have had children, say they need some help. They want to know more about things that work for other parents. They feel they’re the only ones having a hard time coping.

Many parents have doubts. As you go through this quiz there may be questions that deal with things you’re not sure how to handle. The information in the quiz and the tips that follow it will give you some guidance about what you can do.

Take this quiz alone or with your partner (one of you may be able to answer some questions better than the other, depending on your routines). Or talk about it with a friend or in a parent support group. It doesn’t really matter. No need to do it all at once, either. You can go through it again in a few months, to see if anything has changed as your child gets older.

While you do the quiz, you’ll be learning more about parenting: • the kind of relationship you can have with your child • why routines are important • some day to day learning opportunities After the quiz, we’ve outlined some practical tips and how to get support and relief from your community.

Raising children is quite a challenge. Each child is different and needs to be treated differently, even within the same family. Things that worked one day won’t necessarily work the next. And of course, some days it seems nothing will work! But understand, raising children requires love and a lot of patience.

What’s really important is that you feel good about yourself.

Being a better parent is healthy and it’s rewarding to watch your child grow with the love and care you provide through good parenting. We hope this quiz and all the tips from other parents will help. If you’ve come this far, you’re already a winner!

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2000 The Ontario Educational Communications Authority.

Self-Assessment Quiz Take this test. Score yourself from 0 to 3 and then see page 6 to find out how you rate.

Relationships

ALWAYS USUALLY SELDOM NEVER 3 2 1 0 ——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I love my child and I show it.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— When I am with my child, I am happy.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I listen to what my child says before I answer, even when it takes him a long time to say what he wants to.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— When spending time with my child, I often get right down on her level, even if it’s on the floor.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— When I am away from my child, I let him know that I am happy to see him when I get back.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— When my child is with someone else or goes to daycare, I make sure she knows I will be back.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I tune in to my child’s moods and respond in a way that is sensitive to them.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I encourage my child to tell me about his feelings.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Even when I am upset at what my child has done, I try to let her know that I love her.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I know that children can cry when they are angry, sick, tired, sad or hurt, I may find it frustrating, but I try to keep calm.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— When my child cries, I try to comfort him.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Column totals —————————————————————

Children need love and care from parents.

With it, they learn to trust, to cope with frustrations, and to get along with others. The most important job you have as a parent is to let your children know that you love them and like them! Every day, your conversations, touching and guidance build the relationship between you and your child.

1

Self-Assessment Quiz

Relationships

ALWAYS USUALLY SELDOM NEVER 3 2 1 0 ———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

(Continued)

I have a few simple rules that my child knows and I help her follow them.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— My rules stay the same from day to day, whether I am in a good or bad mood, and whether I am in a hurry or not.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— When I say “no” to my child, also tell him why it is “no”.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— When my child’s behaviour is not okay, I look for reasons why.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— When my child’s behaviour is not okay, I tell him what needs to change and give him some choices that are okay with me.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— When my child is trying to do something new, I encourage her by telling her how well she’s doing.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I expect and accept that my child may disagree with me.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— When I am upset or angry, I try to set a good example by working things out and expressing my feelings in a way that he will understand and that I wouldn’t mind him copying!

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I praise my child often, always telling her what for.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— My child and I play together just for fun.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I love to tell friends and relatives about my child’s successes.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Column totals ———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Part of loving and caring for your child is setting reasonable limits to help him grow and develop.

Children need to feel good about themselves and have a warm, nurturing environment in order to thrive. Lots of loving attention is what makes the difference to your child wherever and however you live.

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Self-Assessment Quiz

Routines

ALWAYS USUALLY SELDOM NEVER 3 2 1 0 ——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Meal times and bedtimes happen at the same time each day.

If not, I tell my child the reason.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I make sure that my child washes his hands before we eat.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I eat with my child, sitting down at the table.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Every day my child eats some fresh fruit and vegetables.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I do not overreact when my child makes honest mistakes, like spilling milk.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I make sure that my child brushes her teeth in the morning and at bedtime.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— At bedtime we have a regular routine that is calm and relaxed. I do not rush through the routine. We end with a quiet time before I say goodnight.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— My child likes to do things with me, so I try to include my child in everyday things, like doing the laundry or gathering up the garbage.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I encourage my child to do things himself, like dressing in the morning, even though it often takes a little longer.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— My child has daily opportunities for exercise or physical play.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I ask my child about her day when I have not been with her.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I try to go outside with my child every day.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I am patient because I know that learning new routines, like using the toilet, is hard.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Column totals —————————————————————

Children do best when routines are consistent and meet their needs for food, sleep, comfort and safety.

Most children like things to happen the same way each time, because then they know what will happen next. This lets them know that the world is a predictable place, and they feel like they have some control over the events in their lives.

Eating, sleeping, going to the store for groceries, going to daycare or school, tidying up toys, bathing and toileting are all routines that support your child’s development. This kind of consistency and “sameness” will make your life as a parent easier, too. When you and your child know the “rules” of daily life, it’s better for both of you!

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Self-Assessment Quiz

Learning

ALWAYS USUALLY SELDOM NEVER 3 2 1 0 ——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I encourage my child to ask questions and also to think about possible answers.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I give my child lots of different safe things to play with, like an empty box and plastic bowls.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I know that play is learning, and that grown-ups can interfere with that, so I let my child play alone at times.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I encourage my child to make-believe and pretend.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I try to give my child chances to choose and use art materials (paints, paper, scissors, glue).

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I often talk to my child about his good experiences and achievements, no matter how small or big they might be.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I am discovering what my child’s interests are and I find activities to match her interests.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I have books in our home for my child to look at and read.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I read to my child.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— My child reads to me.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— My child and I go to the library.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— My child watches educational television, like TVOntario.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I watch television with my child.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I know what my child is watching on TV and we talk about it.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I often play number games with my child or talk about numbers when we are doing things together (“we need two more plates on the table and how many more glasses?”)

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Column total ————————————————————— You are your child’s first and best teacher. In the early years, your child learns about the world through you. Each day offers all kinds of opportunities for your child to learn from counting the oranges you put in the bag at the supermarket, to naming the clothes that he puts on. Anytime you are with your child, you will probably find chances for teaching. Whether you want it to or not, your behaviour teaches your child. You’ll find her repeating words and actions of yours. Children also need the chance to explore, play, try new things, talk, listen and solve problems. Give them some freedom to do things on their own, while you sit back and watch an active mind in development.

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Self-Assessment Quiz

Community

ALWAYS USUALLY SELDOM NEVER 3 2 1 0 ———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

My child gets regular dental and medical check-ups.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I know where to go in my community for support in being a parent.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— If I have concerns about my child’s development talking, walking, being able to do things, I seek out professionals in my community I can talk to.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— My child and I are part of a play group or program where he plays with other children and I meet other parents.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I try to eat properly, exercise, get enough sleep and take time to pursue my own interests.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I read books or magazines, or watch TV shows or videos about kids and parenting.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— My child and I use neighbourhood facilities like playgrounds and skating rinks, and take part in community events for children.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— My child and I know there are friends and people outside the family who care about us.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I know that if I have to ask for help, it doesn’t mean I’m a “bad” parent, so I’m not afraid to pick up the phone and call someone.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— I try to find something positive in each day and help my child keep a positive outlook.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— COMMUNITY totals ——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— RELATIONSHIPS (pages 1 & 2) totals ——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— ROUTINES (page 3) totals ——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— LEARNING (page 4) totals ——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Column sub-totals ——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Add up all four columns and get your Grand Total —————————————————————

As a parent, you can sometimes feel alone.

Parenting is a big job. So use the support that’s available in your community to help you. Your community may be the people who live nearby, or people who live in different places but share a school or common culture and language. Talking to other parents, your doctor or family agencies will help give you other ideas on dealing with the challenges of being a parent.

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How did you do?

The job of parenting is not an easy one. We hope this quiz helped you find out that you are doing a lot of things for which you should take credit.

Remember, this is not about guilt. And if you do need help with some parenting skills, you’ll probably find the tips in this booklet are a great place to start.

We all make mistakes, we all lose our temper, we all say things we wish we hadn’t. We all want to run away and hide on those really bad days. And every day is a different challenge. So is every stage of childhood. Dealing with your baby is very different from dealing with an independent four-year-old. Keep this quiz handy and take it again in six months. And congratulations on being a parent who cares enough to try harder.

Up to 20

You’ve probably been trying to do your best but it hasn’t been working very well. There are times in all of our lives when the pressures of work, family or illness combine to make it difficult to be a good parent. Or maybe you just need someone to point you in the right direction.

There are people who can help you.

See pages 12 and 13 for some ideas.

21-70

Even though you may not have scored as well as you might have liked, taking this quiz shows that you want to be a better parent. We know that parents want to do a good job and finding the right help is often just what you need. Don’t get discouraged.

Use some of the tips and community support people suggested in these pages to improve your parenting skills. And then do the quiz again in a few months.

71-120

Although the four quiz categories are connected to each other, relationships are given the most points because we believe that’s the most important part of being a parent.

Relationships Routines Learning Community Total

66 points 39 points 45 points 30 points 180 points

You‚re doing a good job of parenting. You know it’s not easy, and some days are no doubt better than others, but overall you’re doing okay. You have found a good balance between the joys and challenges of parenting. Go back and look at the areas in the quiz where you scored “seldom” or “never” and work at improving those skills.

121-170

You are doing an excellent job of parenting. You are probably already using many of the approaches and tips suggested in this quiz. We hope you find some new ideas and sources of support that will help as you and your child grow together. And we hope you’ll do what you can to share your good parenting skills with your friends, family and community.

171-180

We never expected anyone to be in this category! What’s your secret?

Seriously, being a perfect parent is an impossible task. After all, we are only human.

Congratulations on being so near-perfect!

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You, Your Children and Television Reprinted with permission from the Alliance for Children and Television

Managing TV Managing TV more effectively means being choosy about what and when you watch. It also means sometimes choosing another activity instead of watching TV. Children are not always very good at managing their own TV viewing. There are lots of children who would never turn off the TV if someone did not do it for them. Some children choose programs for themselves that have ideas or images that they cannot make sense of.

Other children make very good choices about TV without any help from others.

Parents’ concerns about television and their children usually fall into two categories. They worry about how much their children are watching and they worry about what they are watching. When we think about how much television they watch, what we really care about is what they are not doing when they are watching television things like reading, playing outside or making their beds.

We want our children to have lots of time to do other things besides watch television. When we think about what programs our children watch, our concerns are about what they are learning about the world, the feelings they experience while watching and how they act after they watch. We may wonder about: • the impact of television violence • about how much television portrays women and people of different races • about the effects of advertising on our children.

Some parents help their children manage their TV viewing with formal rules about how much they can watch and what they can watch. Others manage less formally, turning off the TV when they feel it has been on too long or changing the channel when they think the program is inappropriate.

Every child is different and every family is different. You can use television the way that seems right to you. At a meeting in a children’s mental health centre, we discovered that the staff – the child psychologists, social workers, educators and care workers – each handled television differently with their own families. There are as many ways of managing television as there are families.

Changing How You Use TV Not everybody wants or needs to change how their family watches TV. If you want to manage television differently, here are some things to think about.

Before you try to change how you and your family use TV, think about why you want to change it. Maybe it is because your children watch so much television they have no time left for other activities. Maybe it is because your children are wild or aggressive after watching certain programs. Maybe it is because you want to control the images and ideas to which your children are exposed.

Television violence makes some children more aggressive and others more fearful. Television affects their health, their eating habits and their ideas about people. The more children watch, the more television affects them. Research also tells us that the more children talk and think about television, the less television affects them.

Think about what your goals are in managing television. You can write them down, talk about them with your partner, friends or other parents. You can even talk to your kids. Remember your goals may change as your children grow and change.

At home, there are two ways to deal with the effects of television on children: First, manage television more effectively. Think about what you watch and when you watch it; be choosy about what you watch and sometimes choose not to watch. Second, talk about television with your children. Ask questions. Look and listen more carefully and play games while you watch.

Sample goals: • to have my child see less violence • to make sure my child is watching shows that are right for his age • to help my child enjoy good television programs • to prevent my child from learning stereotypes • to encourage my children to play outside more • to help my child learn to manage TV on her own

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Practical Tips Today...

I told my child that I loved him.

I hugged my child.

I tried to be a good role model.

I read to my child.

I listened to my child when she told me about her day.

I used discipline that was respectful to my child’s body and feelings.

I bragged about my child’s accomplishments.

I played with my child.

Parents and leading experts in early childhood education have prepared these practical everyday tips, to help you be a more knowledgeable, better and happier parent.

Parents and children don’t always speak the same language.

Parent says:

Child hears:

How to talk to your child and listen Bath Time Bath time is an opportunity to talk about your child’s day. A warm bath can be relaxing and can help a child settle down before bed.

• • • • • • • • • •

Be specific and use language your child will understand.

Speak slowly and clearly.

Keep your directions short and sweet.

Wait and give your child a chance to respond.

Get down to your child’s level, so that the two of you can make eye contact.

Always think before you speak – words can hurt.

Use correct terms – avoid baby talk.

Listen and respect your child’s point of view.

Always expect disagreements.

Always give attention or thank-you’s when your child does what you have asked – she will listen more often in the future.

How to make more time for you and your child • • • • •

Have no-TV nights and make time for talking and playing together.

Do family chores together – setting the table or washing the car.

Find time to talk about your child’s day, maybe in the car or during bath time.

Tell your child about your day, perhaps while you are making dinner.

Make your child’s bedtime 15 minutes earlier, so you can spend more time reading to him.

How to be your own best friend. Take time out for you.

• • • • •

8

Get regular exercise. Even if it’s a walk at your lunch hour, you’ll be surprised how much better you feel.

Try to eat good food. Remember that coffee and a doughnut are not a healthy breakfast.

Try to get enough sleep. An early night helps you get through a stressful day.

Recognize that you and your child need time away from each other, so plan to take time out for adult interests.

While talking on the phone, have special toys that come out only during adult phone times.

Bedtime • Follow a schedule. Bedtime should be the same time every day.

• Children who have regular exercise outside will fall asleep more easily.

• Set reasonable nap schedules.

Children having a nap at 4 o‚clock will not be tired at bedtime.

• An hour before bed, play quiet activities with your child that will help him calm down.

• Avoid rough-house play or active games.

• Favourite toys make sleep time easier.

• Read a book together before the child’s bedtime.

Mealtime • Include your child in meal preparation.

• Encourage your child to eat at least a tasting amount of each food item.

• Try not to let food become a power issue – keep your cool if your child refuses to eat.

• Try giving your child choices such as, one spoonful or two?

Do you want to use a fork or a spoon?

• Make mealtimes fun.

• Plan food you know the child likes – at least one item per meal.

• Keep food in perspective and don’t use it to bribe, praise or punish.

• Talk to your child at mealtimes.

• Ask you child if she is finished eating.

• Eat at a regular time in a regular place. Develop family routines and rituals.

Clean-up Times • Involve the child in the cleaning process, according to his age and skill level. “You can wipe the table while I do the dishes.”

• Let the child know what’s going to happen after doing chores: “In five minutes, when I finish reading the paper, it will be time for your bath. So please pick up your toys.”

• Instead of commands, make observations: “Your coat is on the floor.”

• Have fun while you clean up together.

How to shop with your child (without being banned from the store!)

• • • • • • • •

Explain to your child where you are going.

Remember to use clear language.

Tell your child ahead of time that you will not be buying any new toys or books.

Before you go to the store tell your child what you are going to buy.

Be prepared: bring along goodies to keep your child busy – a bag of snacks or a small toy.

Make sure your child is not tired or hungry.

Let your child help as much as possible: “It’s your job to pick out the cereal.”

Expect the unexpected. Your child may not be in the mood for a long shopping trip today, so have a backup plan.

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How to get out of the house alive (morning routines) Daily Exercise Children need daily physical exercise, even in the winter. Putting on a snow suit and playing outside for even a half hour will help a child burn off steam and settle down more easily at sleep time. Don’t forget, even babies love to go out for a short walk, and the change of scenery will do you both good.

Be consistent!

Avoid broken promises. If you tell your child you’re going to do something, try to follow through.

Avoid empty threats: “If you don’t stop screaming, I’ll never take you shopping again,” or “If you don’t pick up your toys you won’t be able to watch TV for a whole week.”

• • • • •

Prepare for the next day the night before (clothing, lunches).

Set a reasonable time for morning tasks, so no one has to panic.

Always expect the unexpected: “I can’t find my show-and-tell toy.”

Whenever possible, leave when you say you are going to.

Try to avoid, “Hurry up, hurry up. Oh, wait just one minute while I get something.”

How to say goodbye (“Don’t leave me!”)

• • • • • •

Prepare your child and yourself for leaving.

Tell your child what you’ll be doing while you’re gone.

Reassure your child that you will be coming back.

Develop a goodbye routine hug, book, or a pass-off to a favourite teacher.

Try to be calm when your child is upset.

Give your child something of yours to hold (a picture of you or a keepsake), but don’t make a fuss if the child loses it.

Making a Negative Situation a Positive Tell your child what behaviour you’d like to see.

Remember to accentuate the positive: “I like the way you cleaned your room after I asked you to.”

Make the discipline more realistic, like “Next time I go shopping, you won’t be able to come.”

Try to stay calm. Words can hurt a child’s feelings. Remember, a broom will clean up the broken pieces but not hurtful words. If you need one, a good solution (for both of you) is time apart – have the child spend some quiet time in another room.

Be aware of your surroundings.

Young children love to unroll toilet paper and drink from the dog dish.

Avoid the “Yeah, but‚” trap: “I like the way you made your bed, but you did not pick up your toys.”

Illustration to be completed

Explain the consequences ahead. For example, before you leave for the restaurant, tell your child, “If you are going to scream and yell when we are in the restaurant, we will leave.” Always follow through.

Set fair and realistic consequences for unacceptable behaviour. Make the discipline fit the crime. For example, if your child keeps playing with the VCR when you said not to touch, then explain to her why there will be no TV or videos that day.

Take a deep breath and count to 10. Don’t discipline your child when you are angry.

Forgive and forget. Make sure your child knows you will love her.

Both parents and children can suffer from temporary hearing loss. Try to set a good example by listening to your child.

10

Mistakes are always an opportunity for learning.

How to find the right words Kids respond well when adults speak to them with respect. Think about these:

BRIBE

“If you promise to listen to the baby sitter, I’ll bring you a special treat.”

T H R E AT

“I don’t want to hear that you gave the baby sitter a hard time, or you won’t be able to watch TV for the rest of the weekend.”

RESPECT

Love Touches

n n n n n n n n n n n n

BRIBE

“I know you will help the baby sitter by doing what she asks you.”

“If you go to bed, you can take three cookies with you.”

Winks T H R E AT “If you don’t go to bed, you won’t get to see Granny this weekend.”

Gentle touches Hugs R E S P E C T “In five minutes, it will be time for bed. I would like you to go and get Smiles ready. Call me when you are in your pyjamas and have brushed your teeth, and we’ll Love notes pick out a bedtime story to read.”

Cuddles Spending time together Holding hands Playing games with your child (let your child win) Let your child do little things for you, and then praise their attempts, no matter what the results Watch TV or use the computer together Say “I love you” frequently, but not so often that it doesn’t seem to mean anything.

Set a good example.

Watch your language!

(Someone is listening!)

Brothers and Sisters • • • • • •

Prepare your child well for a new brother or sister.

Plan time alone with each child.

Stress the positive: notice and praise when your kids are getting along.

Don’t get upset when your children don’t get along all of the time.

Respect their individuality.

Set a good example when you deal with people, whether you’re upset or not.

Still having a hard time? Consider these points.

• • • • • •

Is your child bored? If he doesn’t have things to play with or do, he can get irritable or into mischief.

Is your child tired? Maybe she needs to got to bed earlier. Try it for a while and see.

Is your child sick? You may want to check with your doctor.

Does your child know what to do? that is, have you explained the rules of behaviour?

Are your expectations too difficult for the child?

Is there a pattern to your child’s behaviour? For example, does he become agitated and upset at certain times of the day, such as bedtime, dinner time, drop-off at daycare? Try to figure out what it is about those times that makes your child unhappy.

11

Finding Help Programs and Services Every community has programs and services to help you and your child. That’s why they exist, so don’t hesitate to find out more about them and take advantage of the programs that they offer. Your community has at least some of the following: Community Information Centre Public Library Community Health Centre Family Counselling Centre Family Service Centre

Books, Videos and Magazines Television, public libraries and stores are a good source of information on children and parenting. Of course there are all kinds of books, videos and magazines to choose from.

Here are a few suggested by early childhood educators at George Brown College to help you get started: BOOKS Purrfect Parenting by Beverly Guhl and Don H. Fontenelle, Ph.D Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurchinka So This Is Normal Too by Deborah Hewitt How To Live With Your Children: A Guide for Parents Using a Positive Approach to Child Behaviour by Don H. Fontenell, Ph.D How Not To Raise A Perfect Child by Libby Purves Discipline Without Shouting or Spanking: Practical Solutions to the Most Common Preschool Behaviour Problems by Jerry Wychkoff, Ph.D and Barbara C. Unell How To Stop The Battle With Your Child: A Practical Guide to Solving Everyday Problems by Don Fleming Ph.D and Linda Balahoutis The Six Stages of Parenthood by Ellen Galinsky

Big Brothers Big Sisters Boys & Girls Club YMCA, YWCA Girl Guides Scouts Indian Friendship Centre

VIDEOS Winning at Parenting – without beating your kids by Barbara Coloroso Anger Management for Parents: The Rethink Method Institute for Mental Health Initiatives Parents Meeting the World Karl-Lorimar For Dads Only Luxor Films Parent Talk: The Art of Parenting by Evelyn A. Petersen

Harambee Centre Daycare Centre Schools and Boards of Education Health Unit Drop-in Clinic Family Doctors and Pediatricians Social Workers Church, Synagogue, Mosque, Temple Public Health Nurses Community Action Program for Children Canada Prenatal Nutrition Program Family Resource Program (see next page)

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MAGAZINES Great Expectations Today’s Parent Parents Magazine Child New Mother Parent Care Practical Parenting The Single Parent Working Mother Working Parents Stepfamily Bulletin Parenting Magazine Family Learning Nurturing News (focuses on fatherhood) Growing Child Family Life Exceptional Parent (for families of children with disabilities)

Family Resource Centres Originally called toy libraries and parent resource centres, these centres operate throughout Ontario and Canada to support families, children and providers of home childcare.

Local programs include a variety of play and childcare programs for children, and information and parent programs for parents and caregivers. For a family resource program near you, call the network representative in your area or contact your community information centre, public library or community centre.

N E T W O R K R E P R E S E N TAT I V E S F O R : South Western Ontario

Child Adult Resource Exchange Cooperative (St. Catharines) (905) 227-9783 Family Place (Welland) (905) 734-3563 Rural Child Care Resource Consultant, H.N.R.E.A.C.H. (Townsend) (519) 587-2441 Carlisle PALS (Waterdown) (905) 689-4416 Milton Children and Youth Centre (905) 876-1244 St. Mary’s Family Learning Centre (Windsor) (519) 252-9696 Bruce Grey Family Resource Centre (Owen Sound) (519) 371-7034 Six Nations Childcare Resource Centre (Ohsweken) (519) 445-2565

Central Ontario

Peterborough Family Resource Centre (705) 748-9144 Community First Resource Centres of Dufferin (Orangeville) (519) 942-0443 Pathways Markham Parent/Child Centre (905) 471-1620

Metro Toronto

Metro Association of Family Resource Programmes (416) 392-5849

Northern Ontario

Jubilee Heritage Family Resources (Sudbury) (705) 674-3334 Prince Township Parent/Child Resource Centre (Sault Ste.Marie) (705) 779-3627 Timmins Family Life Centre (Timmins) (705) 267-7973

South Eastern Ontario

Nepean-Kanata Family Resource Centre (Napean) (613) 828-0078 Children’s Resources on Wheels (Lanark) (613) 225-4819 Katimavik Preschool Resource Centre (Kanata) (613) 591-6030

Useful Websites TVOntario: www.tvo.org The Alliance for Children & Television: www.media-awareness.ca/eng/med/home/advoc/act.htm Invest in Kids Foundation: www.investinkids.ca Child & Family Canada: www.cfc-efc.ca/

This booklet is brought to you by TVOntario‚ Channel 19, cable 2

13

It’s easy for a parent to feel guilty.

You know it’s important to get your child off to a good start, but it can be a frustrating job, especially with all the other pressures on you.

So sometimes you really wonder how you’re doing as a parent. Find out by taking this quiz. We think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Inside you’ll also find tips from parents just like you, as well as how to find the help you need in your community.

Design by David Wyman Design Illustrations by Kathryn Adams

So go ahead – get ready to learn and give the quiz a try!