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Issue 686 Mar 7-13  |  2012

David | Atlanta Issue 686  |  Mar 7-13, 2012

David Magazine

650 Hamilton Ave. Suite H Atlanta, GA 30312 404.418.8901

Contents 8 10 12 16 20 24 28 30 34 36 38 40 42 44 45 46 50 52 56 58 60 61 62

WTF!?!?! Scene@ Blakes Men Seeking Men WTF!?!?! Tidbits Women Rule! Empowering Women What a Girl Wants: Amber Bradshaw Music Review: Kelly Clarkson Concert Brent Star Top 10 Tracks  |  Protect Your Monster Scene@ Kelly Clarkson Concert BarTab Map Opinions Matter: Madonna Shelly Fairchild Interview Scene@ Felix’s Quest for the Crown Show (it all) & Tell: Lesbian Porn Director Photos by Mike Ruiz BarTab Calendar Classifieds Safe Space Adult Classifieds Scene@ LeBuzz FairyScopes Bitch Session

STAFF David Thompson  |  Publisher Maximillian Corwell  |  Editor-in-Chief Joseph Brownell  |  Entertainment Editor Kiki Carr  |  Art Director Chip O’ Kelley  |  Operations Sales Executives Steve Tyrrell Bob Swanson Elijah Sarkesian Writers Rian Ashlei Chris Azzopardi Luis Chiruco Richard Marshall Stasha Oakley Troy Ordami Elijah Sarkesian Dustin Shelby Brent Star Tristan Timothy Lucas Witherspoon Randall Carpenter  |  Photographer Julio Saldana  |  Photography Intern Joseph Brownell  |  Web & Social Media Jamie Scarbrough  |  IT National Ad Rep Rivendell Media 908.232.2031 Add us on Facebook! DavidAtlanta

The content of this Publication is for your general information and use only. It is subject to change without notice. The opinions expressed by any writer, advertiser, or other person appearing in the Magazine are not necessarily those of the Publication, its management or staff. The information and materials appearing in the Magazine are not guaranteed or warranted as to accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness, or suitability of the information and materials found or offered for a particular purpose. It shall be your responsibility to ensure that any products, services, or information available through this Publication meets your specific requirements. The Publication is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, content of information, changes, events, and schedules. The Magazine contains information and material which is owned by or licensed to the Publication, including but not limited to articles, advertisement, design, layout, graphics, and logos. No part or portion of this Publication may be reproduced in any way without the prior written consent of the Publisher. Unauthorized use of this Publication may give rise to claims for damages and or criminal offenses. Your use of the information or materials in the Publication is strictly at your own risk.

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Women I Would Sleep With by Lucas Witherspoon


hile anti-gay bigotry, hate crimes, and religious zealots all propose very real threats to gay society, there is one entity that threatens the homosexuality of gay men and the monogamy of lesbian couples more than anything: Megan Fox. What gay man would not go straight for her? Not only is she genetically gifted in terms of looks, but she also has a very dark demeanor and sense of humor, which gay men tend to appreciate. It got me thinking, though, I might be a bit more bisexual than I realized, seeing as how there are a few ladies I would unquestionably go temporarily go hetero for, granted it might take a dozen shots or so.

Jessica Stam is probably someone who a lot of people aren’t familiar with (for shame), but to me, is one of the most gorgeous women who ever lived, not to mention one of the top female supermodels of the past decade. Imagine if a porcelain doll reproduced with a Canadian scarecrow, and you have the essence of Jessica Stam. This is where you need use Google to realize I’m not insinuating I’d like to fuck a life-sized doll stuffed with hay.

For one, Kylie Minogue. I’m still baffled that she (a) is not well-known in America, (b) is 43, and (c) has maintained her looks and career after surviving breast cancer. Besides her putting on stage shows that are a gay man’s wet dream, she’s abnormally gorgeous, an attribute that spans many sexualities.

Finally, there’s Angelina Jolie. Frankly, I didn’t find her even mildly attractive until her role in Mr. and Mrs. Smith. There’s something about a woman who knows who to kick ass and wield a weapon when threatened that turns me on I guess. She’s what I see as being the original Megan Fox, if Megan Fox had legitimate talent, aside from her looks. In her wild stage (where she made out with her brother and carried a vial of Billy Bob Thornton’s blood around), her red carpet attention seeking was obnoxious. Now that all of that’s in her past, though, the only attention she’s getting on red carpets is the result of her looking like the Queen of Hollywood. It’s true what they say about those who are seemingly untouchable being the sexiest of all.

Next, Kelly Clarkson. This is one I think I’m going to have a hard time convincing the gays on, because the lesbians love themselves some Kelly Clarkson. Most of my motivation would be just being able to say, “I did Kelly Clarkson,” but getting drunk enough for me to stick it in would likely result in downing an entire bottle of Tanqueray. If she can hit the notes she does on stage in the bedroom, though, it’d totally be worth it.

I know what you’re thinking: “Lucas is way too gay to ever have sex with a woman.” Gay, yes, but my slutitude often overpowers my homosexuality (not to mention judgment), meaning if these women weren’t completely out of my league and I weren’t a bigger flamer than Wheeler from Captain Planet, the chances we’d sleep together are slimto-none, which is optimistically better than impossible.

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Men Seeking Men

The Britney in Me


by Tristan Timothy

ehind (and sometimes inside) every gay man is a strong beautiful woman. As this issue is about strong women I thought I would take this forum to write an open thank you letter to the girl (not yet a woman) inside of me… Britney Spears. My world first collided with the force that is Britney when was I teen. I learned all her dance moves, carved a rocking’ teen dream body of my own and decided to be sexy without being scandalous. I longed for my own Justin Timberlake, a person to fully complete the package that I came in. I found him, cherished him and then cheated on him, just like Britney. At this point we found ourselves single, approaching true adulthood. The world was open and enticing and we tried new things. Britney and I fell into a world of smoking pot and dating bad boys. We suffered through one-night stands and quickie marriages in Vegas. We contemplated the reality of time travel together. (HUH?! WHA!?) We realized that dating celebrities was over and set about finding ourselves a good, if somewhat street savvy, regular guy. We are now entering the dark period between Britney’s life and mine. We had settled down. Finding love and cherishing it and yet something still wasn’t right. We longed to be freer. Britney stopped wearing shoes in public. This was a move that I didn’t follow. Britney stopped wearing panties in public. This was a move that I embraced. But just as things were getting interesting they took a turn for the worse.

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Gay Dating in the City Our drinking was getting out of control. The signs were getting harder to hide and our bodies were showing the extra ten pounds that our love of Whiskey and Coke had brought us. We were getting kicked out of clubs, yelling at paparazzi and finally when it was all too much we shaved our heads. This is something that Britney and I will never do again! Such a mistake, while my short look grew back in a month poor Brit was forced to wear witchy black wigs and glued in extensions. We took some time out of the scene at this point. We had to get away, to reinvent. People were being too judgmental of the little things we did. I would forget to clean up after my pet; Britney would forget to put her children in car seats. People didn’t realize that we were just so busy that the little things seemed to go to the wayside. Finally we had a comeback. Previous injuries aside we started doing complicated dance routines again. We reconciled the darker side of ourselves with our public persona. We learned that sometimes it’s okay to take a mental health day but more importantly to keep the crazy on the inside. Thank you Britney for the friend you’ve been and all that you’ve taught me.

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WTF!?!? Tidbits A portrait of Rick Santorum composed completely of gay porn stills hit the

Internet, which is officially the only time I have or will ever find Rick Santorum’s face to be a turn-on.

While walking the orange carpet for the premiere of The Lorax in LA, Zac Efron dropped a condom. I don’t mean to sound like an irresponsible gay man or human being in general… but he totally would not even need a condom with me. Just saying. Adam Sandler set a Razzies (the opposite of the Oscars) record after

being nominated for 11 Razzies, the most nominations ever by one person in a single year. In addition to producing, starring, and co-writing his most recent venture, Jack & Jill, for which he was nominated for Worst Actor and Actress, he produced and co-wrote Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star, and produced and starred in Just Go With It. The worst part of the entire story, though: he reportedly made a collective salary of $47.5 million for all three productions. So, make fun all you want, but much like Kim Zolciak with “Tardy for the Party,” he’s laughing all the way to the bank.

Adam Sandler makes nearly $50 million a year from film

As if living in a world where

expenditures alone weren’t enough, Tyra Banks graduated from Harvard. She tweeted a picture of herself with her diploma, along with the caption, “Smiling ear2ear on the Harvard Business School campus w/ my diploma! Tnx 2 my fab photographer mama 4 the pic!” That’s right, someone who uses the numbers 2 and 4 instead of the actual prepositions has a degree from Harvard.

Adam Levine has espoused the “pull out method.” We’ve heard of celebrities having various “handlers,” which leads me to volunteer for the position of Jizz Handler to Adam Levine.

TMZ reports that Gerard Butler has been in rehab at the Betty Ford Clinic for the past three weeks, surprisingly not for a lack of discernment in sexual partners (Brandi Glanville, Lindsay Lohan, anyone but me, etc.), but rather for an addiction to painkillers and cocaine.

Paris Hilton released her new single in collaboration with Manufactured

Superstars called “Drunk Text.” Imagine Ke$ha’s style of talking-singing style, Kim Kardashian’s nasaly prostitute voice, and the annoyance you would feel if you were sober at a rave, and you basically have an idea of what the song is like. by Lucas Witherspoon

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International Women’s Day

Empowering Women & Atlanta


by Stasha Oakley

nternational Women’s Day celebrates the achievements and strengths of women worldwide. A national holiday with a political focus for some countries, others celebrate the day as a romantic, gift giving holiday on par with Mother’s Day. In the United States we often hear a brief nod from politicians or see celebrations on television, but those in the United States who are not already involved in feminist or women’s movements often overlook March 8th. Its not necessarily surprising that International Women’s Day is so muted. In the United States women’s issues are often seen as outsider problems. “Well at least you don’t live in [insert other country here].” “Sexism was definitely a problem in this country until the 70s.” Shag carpet is retro — not women’s rights. Sure, we’ve made leaps and bounds since the 1950s. Unfortunately, there’s still a wage gap. There’s still violence against women. There’s still an entire media that thrives on low self-esteem in women. Political rights of women should be an every day focus, but at least give us that attention one day a year. This year’s International Women’s Day themes are “Empower Rural Women – End Hunger and Poverty” from the United Nations and “Connecting Girls; Inspiring Futures” from the official IWD global hub. Countries and organizations are encouraged to break out of the designated themes and celebrate in ways that directly benefit their demographics. Instead of listing the local or worldwide celebrations taking place on March 8th, I want to stick with the official themes and shine a light on organizations that have been fighting the fight for low-income women and girls across Georgia. For these women and allies, International Women’s Day is everyday: It’s often said that poverty is a woman’s issue. According

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to the National Women’s Law Center six out of ten adults that live below the poverty line are female. Low-income women are disproportionately the victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. They have less access to health services and face discrimination in an already shrinking job market. Women are disproportionately single parents. Many activists follow the proverb “teach a woman; teach a nation” and believe only through empowering the most disenfranchised women can a society as a whole lower poverty and hunger rates. This theory is tested worldwide through micro-financing programs, volunteer business classes, and women’s literacy programs. Low-income and rural women in Georgia are no exception to the rule. Organizations that focus on assisting low-income women are found all over the state but are typically headquartered in Atlanta. All of these organizations take their own approach to empowering low-income women including building self-esteem, providing access to healthcare, and career building. The Southern Rural Black Women’s Initiative has a chapter in Albany, Georgia. SRBW

has six main program focuses: digital filmmaking training, economic and housing advocacy, self empowerment and anti-discrimination consciousness building, power structure and decision making training/empowerment, community wellness and support services, and arts integration in all aspects of the organization. SRBW really embodies self-sustaining empowerment of Black rural women in Georgia.

Feminist Women’s Health Center

in Atlanta provides gynecological care, family planning services and trans-health services on a sliding scale. Their outreach programs focus on advocacy training and sex education in low-income communities, communities of color and immigrant/refugee communities. By having a health center so closely tied to feminist

advocacy, the clinic prides itself on high-quality, politically aware bedside manner.

Dress for Success tackles the issues

disenfranchised women face when job hunting. As the name suggests, they receive professional clothes and shoes via donation that are given to low-income women seeking employment. Even after women find employment, Dress for Success works with them to provide additional professional clothing and support in retaining their newfound employment. Networking opportunities abound within their doors between the women using services and the businesswomen that donate their time, wardrobe, and expertise to the organization.

9-to-5 the National Association of Working

Women, has a chapter in Atlanta. Currently 9to5 Atlanta is focusing on three main campaigns. The Job/Family Campaign hopes to pass the Family Care Act. This would allow workers with paid sick time to use those days for themselves or family members. The Fair Eats campaign is uniting restaurant workers and allies to raise wages of workers who earn primarily from tips. Activists lobby locally and nationally for the federal passing of the WAGES Act. Finally the Reformed Citizens Campaign works to end discrimination in the job hiring process. As International’s Women’s Day was originally called International Working Women’s Day, 9-to-5 really lives the spirit of the holiday. The theme “Connecting Girls; Inspiring Futures” is essentially, I believe the children are our future. Young girls are bombarded with conflicting images of how they should be. Skinny yet curvy, chaste yet sexy, sweet yet catty, kiss girls with cherry Chapstick yet don’t actually be a lesbian. Organizations and advocates hope that starting when girls are young can encourage an entire generation of strong, confident, self assured women united together.

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The Cool Girls started in 1989 to support girls living in the violent East Lake Meadow housing projects. Since then The Cool Girls has grown to serve over 400 girls at a time throughout Dekalb and Fulton counties. Their programs focus on health, self esteem, scholarly education and technology training. Field trips and mentorship seek to broaden the horizons of young girls and inspire them to follow their passions. While the focus is primarily Elementary and Middle school age girls, High school girls can participate in their own leadership program to prepare for the working world and higher education. Girls Inc. was founded in 1864 and work

throughout metro-Atlanta. Girls Inc empowers girls to grow into the women that they want to be through education, career planning, life skills, health and sexuality education, culture and heritage preservation, and self-reliance. They really focus on building bonds among girls and embracing the differences within the group. Girls Inc has constantly come out in support of LGBT youth, encourages LGBT or questioning girls to join, and provides supportive literature to parents of LGBT girls.

Girls on the Run teaches running to 3rd through 8th grade girls in Cobb, Dekalb, Fulton, and Gwinnett. They seek to lower incidence of eating disorders and unhealthy body image by showing girls at a young age the awesome things that they’re physically capable of. Mentorship is also a component with women from different walks of life serving as running and life coaches to the young girls. At the end of their training, girls and mentors get a chance to run together in a non-competitive 5K race. These organizations are just a drop in the bucket of women’s activism in Atlanta. During this year’s International Women’s Day I encourage readers to really think about the state of women’s issues in the United States and in Atlanta. I encourage readers to think about how these issues relate to topics of poverty and girl empowerment. All of these organizations know that it’s hard out there for a rural and/or impoverished woman and it’s also hard out there for a twelve-year-old girl. So most of all, I encourage readers to stop making excuses and take this year’s International Women’s Day as a reason to stand behind Atlanta’s hardworking women and women’s organizations. davidatlanta  |  23 

What A Girl Wants

Everyday Woman: Amber Bradshaw by Rian Ashlei It is often that the strongest women in our lives are right under our noses. They often go unnoticed and overlooked in their work, affecting our lives quietly and radiating strength that we feed off without ever acknowledging the gift we receive. I myself am guilty of this unconscious error, so when I was asked to filter through the women in my life and select one to interview that I would consider “strong,” I immediately found the task difficult. I was thinking grandiose, political, renowned and frankly already identified. It was not until a co-worker suggested that I take a closer look that I discovered a quite deserving and obvious choice, my General Manager, Amber Bradshaw. The choice made sense. I had already unconsciously established Amber as someone I admire the first time I saw her in action at a wine tasting. Surrounded by men: sommeliers, vignerons, importers and wine connoisseurs, I felt extremely intimidated. As a black, queer woman I questioned my capabilities and place in the space and shied away, became quiet. Amber on the other hand, mingled with these industry leaders, making it clear that she knew what she was talking about while still remaining incredibly feminine and charming and terribly understanding of my fears. She coached me through the process, and I watched as people flocked to her and engaged her, asked her opinions on aromas and tasting notes and a dozen other wine qualities that whizzed over my head. Despite being queer, feminine and female, she fit perfectly because of a quiet and strong inner confidence.

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As the General Manager of one of Atlanta’s most prominent wine retailers, Ansley Wine Merchants, Amber has her hands full. Amber’s parents have owned this local legend for over 25 years and the store has been making its mark on the Atlanta community since its opening day. Amber has been contributing to the legacy since college when she started at her parents’ business as an email assistant before choosing to give a full-time commitment in 2006.

Rian: What processes did you have to go through to become GM? Amber: Jim (the first General Manager) fell in love - he left. He had already begun grooming me for it but I didn’t realize it. My father gave me options. I had a choice to stay on as GM or not and I decided to do it because it’s the only job I’ve ever been paid for that I enjoyed.

R: What’s the most challenging aspect of your position? A: Being the boss. Having to reprimand, to yell, to fight to get what I want/need for my customers or from my staff; to fire people, to be the one responsible for everything that happens in the business. It’s a weight on anyone’s shoulders.

R: What’s the most pleasurable aspect of your position? A: Wonderfully fabulous dining! Incredible wine! The people in the business know how to have a good time and work hard at the same time!

R: What advice do you have for young women working in male dominated businesses? A: Be yourself. Always take responsibility for your failures but do everything you can to avoid them. Be a feminine woman if that is who you are - but don’t be afraid to establish leadership. Feminine can equal leadership but expect to have to prove yourself; you will be quizzed. Make sure your employees have respect for you - if they don’t, figure out why and fix it. Don’t get involved with anyone you work with. Just don’t. Understand that some men will have problems with you. It’s their problem, not yours, but empathy is a part of any good bosses’ character

and you have to understand your staff to get along with them well. Don’t let haters get to you, otherwise they’ve won.

R: Working in this industry, have you ever felt intimidated or made to feel intimidated? How’d you work through it? A: Oh hell yes. Intimidation from all sides (except for from those who wanted me to buy products from them). I had to establish myself. I found ways of slipping in my credentials into a casual conversation. I went to as many events as I could to be present and gain knowledge. In general, I speak up when others are afraid. I’m careful of what I say and how I say it. I make sure to compliment and give attention to others (because people like this and will be drawn to you). And sometimes, there’s no way to make someone happy - so you pick yourself up and you keep going.

R: What is it like working for your parents’ business? A: Fantastic! They are extremely supportive and leave me alone! I go to them when I need guidance and they are quick to respond. But my involvement allows them to do whatever they’d like, and seeing that they’ve sent three children to college and are in their 60s, they deserve to sit back and relax!

R: What do you think makes a “strong” woman? A: Patience. Smarts. Bravado. I don’t know! A woman that won’t let culture and society dictate her life; that believes she is capable of greatness; that believes there is more to life than finding a man!

R: Are you a strong woman based on your definition? A: I try to be. I do try. I don’t always succeed, but I’m not done yet. I believe the older I get,

the less I will give a shit, and the more powerful I will become - like a force. Like those women you and I know that are just a force to be reckoned with. Cause they don’t care and they love life.

R: In the event that it’s brought up, do you “out” yourself to customers? Is it important for you to do so or not do so? Why? A: I would guess that at least half of my customers know that I’m gay, but I don’t make it a thing. If they are in a conversation with me about my life, they may find out because I won’t hesitate to mention my girlfriend, but it’s not important to me that they know or not. And in Ansley Park, being gay is not new, so most of my customers, even the high end customers, are pretty cool with us queers. They are attracted to Ansley, after all, for a reason beyond the buying of wine, in most cases. They like who we are, and along with being unusual, indie and bawdy (to name just a few words that may describe Ansley) - we have always been a very gay friendly and gay inclusive environment. And there you have it; a look inside the microcosm of my life at one of the many astonishing women in my life. I’m sure she will agree when I say, BUY LOCAL! There’s good shit here! davidatlanta  |  25 

Music Review

Clarkson Shows How ‘Strong’ She Is


by Joseph Brownell

urrently in its 11th season, American Idol is suffering from slipping ratings and competition from The Voice. Say what you want about the Idol franchise, but from the moment the original ‘voice’ took the stage at The Fox Theater, there was no doubt she was stronger and was there to kick every one of our asses. Kelly Clarkson proved why she won that first season and has continued to sell millions of records over the last decade. We’re all familiar with the tabloid fodder that swirls around Clarkson, which she doesn’t shy away from. The fact that Clarkson confronts these issues head on is probably the reason for her continued success. Clarkson opened the night with words such as ‘Fat’, ‘Failure’, and ‘Make-up Mishap for Kelly’ being projected onto a sheer curtain draped from ceiling to floor before raising and kicking into “Dark Side,” her rumored third single (more on this later). Clarkson followed that up with “Behind These Hazel Eyes” and mega-hit “Since U Been Gone.” Moving back into the current album Clarkson killed “You Love Me,” which hopefully will see a single release. In fact this track or “I Forgive You” would be a better third single in order to ride the momentum of “Stronger.” Clarkson then gave the audience a few covers. First, Clarkson delivered a haunting cover of Florence + the Machine track, “Heavy in Your Arms.” Then she invited Idol contestant Tamyra Gray to the stage and they sang a touching cover of Whitney Houston’s “Exhale (Shoop, Shoop).” Finally, Clarkson covered Carrie Underwood’s “I Know You Won’t.” Clarkson continued to play through some of her hits including current single “Stronger” and a 4-song medley meant to appease those expecting

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a few obscure tracks in the show. This is the point where I would have wished for different selections in the set list. “You Don’t Know What It’s Like” could have been replaced with the emotional powerhouse that is “Maybe” (from My December and performed two nights later in IL) and either “Don’t You Wanna Stay” (featuring a hologram Jason Aldean) or “Breakaway” could have been replaced with “Sober” (also from My December). Clarkson closed the show with a 4-song encore including the piano/ballad version of “Never Again,” “Because of You,” “Mr. Know It All” and “Miss Independence” (another track I would’ve excluded . . . especially as closing the show). Outside of set-list critique, Clarkson killed it. She sounded great, she looked great and delivered an amazing energy-filled show that left all of us feeling a little bit ‘stronger’.

Set List Dark Side Behind These Hazel Eyes Since U Been Gone You Love Me Heavy in Your Arms (Florence + the Machine Cover) Exhale (Shoop, Shoop) (Whitney Houston Cover with Tamyra Gray) Medley: Trouble with Love, Walkaway, How I Feel, I Want You I Know You Won’t (Carrie Underwood Cover) Don’t You Wanna Stay I Forgive You Already Gone Breakaway You Still Don’t Know What It’s Like (non-album track) Stronger My Life Would Suck Without You

Encore Never Again (Piano/Ballad Version) Because of You Mr. Know It All Miss Independence

Heather Daniels, All Woman!


hen I was told that we were focusing on women this week, I thought how fitting it was that I was interviewing Heather Daniels because she may not be a lady, but she’s all woman! When I first saw her perform at Backstreet back in ’96, I couldn’t

stop staring at her famous and legendary boobs! I mean seriously, aside from Dolly Parton and Pamela Anderson, she was the person I thought about when the “Got Milk” ads came out. But enough about ‘them’, Heather Daniels is a sweet person and a living drag legend in this town. Although she’s best known for her 14-year run at Backstreet’s famous “Charlie Brown’s Cabaret,” she’s still doing her thing performing out of town- as well as 3 days a week at Marietta’s LeBuzz, the occasional “Charlie Brown’s REUNION Show” at Jungle, and every once in awhile at Burkhart’s, where we’ve worked together a few times and had our “kee kee” moments backstage. Of course, I seized the moment to ask her for an interview right quick. Why not? She’s HEATHER DANIELS!

Brent: Sooooooo Ms. Daniels, tell us what inspired you to do drag? Heather: I was always ‘dressing up’ when I was young and acting in plays in my high school drama club. I guess you can say I’ve always had the entertainment gene. When I saw my first drag show I was like, “OMG, this is what I’ve been doing at home already so let’s see what I can do on a stage”.

Brent: I feel you. I didn’t ‘dress up’, but I used to always do Jennifer Holiday’s “And I Am Telling You” in front of my mirror…and in front of my cousin…and my ex-girlfriend (Yes, I said girlfriend.). Um yeah, so where did you start doing drag? And how long have you’ve been doing it? Heather: I did my first show in Chattanooga, 30  |  davidatlanta

Atlanta crowd. It was very special to me and unforgettable. Charlie asked me afterward if I wanted to work the next week and I did and never stop working till they closed 14 wonderful years later.

Brent: Compare the drag scene then versus now. Heather: Well for me, I was working 6 and 7 days a week, where now I usually do between 3 and 4 (laughs).

Tennessee. I started in the mid 80’s and got my first paying gig in 1989.

Brent: Now wait a minute…you said mid 80’s? So that’s close to 25 years! Sweet! So how did you get that gig? Heather: I won a talent night one week and they hired me on cast the very next week. Actually, I never expected to still be doing drag as my CAREER! I feel truly blessed because I still LOVE performing.

Brent: Amen. It’s a blessing to do what you love for your career. So back then, were you showing off your…um…pasties? Heather: I started transitioning to “Heather” after high school. Funny, my job and my life as “Heather” have simultaneously grown up together over the years.

Brent: How did you end up in the Charlie Brown Show? Heather: After working in Chattanooga for 3 years. I went to see a show at Charlie Brown’s Cabaret one night. I was sitting in the audience and Charlie came over and asked if I wanted to come do a show on Sunday. I was so awe struck. I came, performed and received a very warm reception from the

Brent: So I hear the reunion shows at the Jungle are packed and coming along really well. Heather: Oh I really enjoy the reunion shows. I always see old friends and I love having the cast together again. There’s still a lot of laughter and a little craziness backstage just like it was at Backstreet.

Brent: How is it working at LeBuzz 3 days a week? (Mondays, Fridays and Saturdays). Heather: I’ve been there 3 and half years. It’s a beautiful club and show bar. The curtains there are actually the curtains from Charlie Brown’s Cabaret; they kinda feel like being with an old friend.

Brent: Any advice for the new girls? Heather: Always be true to yourself, always have fun with your audience, and when you are an established entertainer help another girl just starting out. Thank you “Ms. Sex Kitten” for chatting with me right quick. And thanks for inspiring me because next time you readers see me, I will have a huge pair of tits (they won’t be mine but still). UNTIL next week, DON’T read the girls, instead read The Brent Star Report! davidatlanta  |  31 

Top 10 Tracks 1. Disparate Youth — Santigold 2. #1 In Heaven — MNDR 3. Bad Girls — M.I.A 4. Set Fire to the Rain — Adele 5. Light Up (The World) — Yasmin feat. Shy FX & Ms. Dynamite 6. Next To Me — Emeli Sandé 7. End of Time (Monsieur Adi Remix) — Beyoncé 8. Body Work — Morgan Page feat. Tegan and Sar 9. Mouth 2 Mouth — Kate Havnevik 10. Big Mouth — Santigold By Dustin Shelby. Check out more music at Dustin’s blog at

Protect Your Monster

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by Richard Marshall

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map Bar | Club

1  Amsterdam 3  Blakes on the Park 4  Bliss Atlanta 5  BJ Roosters 6  Bulldogs 7  Burkhart’s Rush 8  Club (formerly Chaparral) 502 Amsterdam Ave.

227 10th St. 2284 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 2345 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 893 Peachtree St.

1492 Piedmont Ave.

2715 Buford Hwy

9  10 Felix’s 11 Friends on Ponce 12 Gilberts 13 Heretic 14 Joe’s on Juniper Eagle

306 Ponce de Leon Ave. 1510 Piedmont Ave

736 Ponce de Leon Ave. 219 10th St.

2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 1049 Juniper St

38  |  davidatlanta

15 Jungle 16 LeBuzz 17 Las Margaritas 18 Mary’s 19 Mixx 20 Model T’s 21 My Sisters Room 22 Opus 1 23 Oscars Atlanta 24 Swinging Richards 25 The Cockpit 2115 Faulkner Rd.

585 Franklin Rd SE # A-10 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 1287 Glenwood Ave.

1492 Piedmont Ave - B

699 Ponce De Leon Ave NE #11. 1271 Glenwood Ave 1086 Alco St.

1510 Piedmont Ave NE 1400 Northside Dr. 465 Boulevard Ave www.thecockpit-atlanta.

26 The Hideaway

1544 Piedmont Rd NE, Suite 124. www.atlantahideaway. com

27 28 Woofs Tripps

1931 Piedmont Circle 2425 Piedmont Rd NE

29 91 / Mengos 38 Daiquiri Factory

91 Broad St NW, 30303

889 W. Peachtree St., 30309 • The-Daiquiri-Factory

39 XS Ultra Lounge

708 Spring St., 30308

Gym | Spa

30 Flex

76 4th St.

31 Gravity Fitness 2201 Faulkner Rd

32 Manifest4U

2103 Faulkner Road


9 Rawhide Leather 33 Brushstrokes/ Capulets

at the Eagle. 404.881.0031

1510 Piedmont Ave.

34 Boy Next Door Nights 37 Southern Videos 1447 Piedmont Rd.

2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd.

map  |  BARTAB

Stop worrying and complaining about Madonna


by Elijah Sarkesian he’s too old for this. She looks like she’s going to break a hip. It’s…reductive.

Those are just a few of the comments I’ve seen in response to Madonna’s current media blitz. Chances are, you’ve seen at least a little of it at this point, possibly during a little program called the Super Bowl. All of this has been promotional work for Madonna’s upcoming album, MDNA, and the Madonna World Tour. Obviously, Madonna’s been in the public eye for a while. Her first single, “Everybody,” was released in 1982. Yeah, that’s right…30 years ago. And while Madonna has shown signs of releasing music that’s at least topically “age-appropriate,” her past few albums have clearly shown that she wants to continue to make fun dance music. You know what I say? More power to her. I mean, she’s been working for 30+ years now, and she’s still covering new territory. These days, it’s mostly about being a woman who’s still a powerful force in pop music. If you think about it, there’s not really an example of a female pop star who’s still wildly successful and productive this deep into her career. As for the men who’ve sustained lengthy careers, how many are told to retire in their 50s? Just look at any of her fellow pop superstars from the 80s. Prince can sell out a tour fairly easily, but when was the last time he had a hit single? As for Michael and Whitney, their deaths at relatively early ages came after years of glaring tabloid coverage and limited bursts of productivity. Meanwhile, Madonna’s never really been gone. Sure, she may not sell as many albums or singles these days, but compared to her original pop peers, she’s still the most successful. That doesn’t even take into account her tour sales; her last tour alone is the highest-grossing tour ever for a solo artist. And no pop star today can touch the spectacle of a Madonna concert. Seriously…if you think Madonna’s going to

40  |  davidatlanta

Opinions Matter break something while she’s dancing on stage, I encourage you to look at the woman. She may not dance as much as she did 20 years ago, but she can still move. Just watch her shuffling with LMFAO at the Super Bowl. She still knows how to work her body. As for the songs: yes, they’re not her deepest songs. Most of her songs, as classic as they are, aren’t that deep. The last time she tried to go deep over the course of an album—American Life—many of her fans said she needed to lighten up. Now that she’s done that, many of the same fans want her to dig deep. There’s really no satisfying some people. In any case, these new songs aren’t meant to dominate the charts the way her classics did – they’re meant for live performances, in the place where Madonna dominates today. Just think about the person we’re talking about, though. It’s Madonna. Of course she’s singing about dancing in a club. Would you really rather have her put out a dance song about, say, riding horses or drinking a cup of tea? The woman fought hard for her spotlight, and she’s going to fight just as hard to keep it. From my perspective, she’s doing a bang-up job.

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davidatlanta  |  41 

Shelly Fairchild: Ready to Rock ‘n’ Soul Atlanta


by Joseph Brownell

ut singer Shelly Fairchild is bringing her rock ‘n’ soul brand of music to Atlanta this Saturday. After scoring moderate success in the early 2000’s on country radio, Fairchild stepped out on her own and independently released the authentic Ruby’s Money last year on her own label. David Magazine caught up with Fairchild and spoke with her about her musical journey, her latest album and what fans can expect Saturday night.

You started out as a country artist, touring with Blake Shelton and Rascal Flatts. Your new album is a mix of rock-soul with some strong pop sensibilities thrown into the mix. Tell us a little bit about your musical evolution. I did, indeed, start out making a country record. However, even that record was a bit bluesy and had some rock-soul influence. Not too much of a stretch to where I am now. It’s funny to me that I had a country record out. It seems like a million years ago. I really consider it like graduation from high school because you change so much between high school and college and then from college to real life. It’s like I was on a journey to figure out what I wanted to say and how I wanted to express myself through my voice and writing. That first record was such a great learning experience for me and I love almost every single song on that record but I had to move forward as an artist for Ruby’s Money, and what you hear is exactly where I was at the time of writing and recording it.

Can you explain the title Ruby’s Money? YES! Ok, so LONG story short, my great grandmother’s name was Ruby. She used to build houses for a living and she was pretty successful at it. However, she lived a super humble, didn’t really have much. When she passed on, my grandfather and my dad and others that were helping to clean out her house to be sold found somewhere close to $60,000 stuffed in mattresses, old bags, holes in her walls, etc. Thus the name. Plus, I thought it might bring some good energy to the project.

Well it’s an amazing album. I hear a bit of Shelby Lynne among others throughout the album so I’m curious what artists inspire you / who do you look up to in the music world? Boy, as far as the artists that inspire me, there are SO many. I love all kinds of music and my influences are bits and pieces of everything from Dolly Parton to Madonna, Lauryn Hill to Janis Joplin, Steven Tyler to Adele, Stevie Wonder to The Black Keys and Aretha Franklin to Patty Griffin. I just LOVE all kinds of music and I think that shows up in the songs that I write and the sound of my voice.

I see you still have ties to the Nashville community as almost every track was co-written with Stephony Smith (best known for penning It’s Your Love by Tim McGraw); is this a new musical partnership or have you and Stephony worked together before? Stephony Smith is a songwriting beast first of all. I have learned SO much of what I know about crafting a song from her. She and I wrote a few songs on my first record as well. In fact, two of my singles that went to radio were songs that she and I wrote together. So yes, we’ve been working together 42  |  davidatlanta

for quite a while now.

What’s your favorite track on your new album? I think I have to say Like I Tried To is my favorite. It means a whole lot to me.

Has identifying as part of the LGBT community impacted your musical direction any? I don’t believe it’s impacted my musical “direction” per se. I do think however that it has forced me into authenticity. As a country artist, people do NOT want to hear or talk about the fact that you might be gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. It becomes what I like to call “water cooler talk”. It’s super weird that we are in 2012 and people still care. Like, care in a bad way. I think it’s super sad that artists are driven to madness because they are supposed to fit into a box. Supposed to be what the gatekeepers “think” the public wants. You know, “the people” always end up getting what they want. They find it! That’s why there has been SUCH an uprising in independent music! It’s a good thing. Wait...did I get on soapbox!?!?

I played Ride first before listening to Ruby’s Money. There’s a marked difference in the albums. Ruby’s Money sounds more personal but also more fun- what, if any, were the differences that struck you most between these albums and if anything, what did major label recording teach you? There are definitely differences in Ride and Ruby’s Money. I was kind of super nervous recording Ride and I was SO NOT NERVOUS at all recording Ruby’s Money. Also, when a major record label is looking at you to be successful there is a LOT of pressure to be fabulous! When you’re making a record independently it is such FREEDOM! I mean, I ALWAYS put TONS of pressure on myself no matter what but my second record was definitely a different experience than my first. Plus, I wrote all of the songs and had a very small posse of peeps helping me make the decisions. It was nice.

Tell us a little bit about what people can expect Saturday at The Masquerade? Saturday is going to be SO great first of all because I am opening the show for Tommy and The High Pilots and Allen Stone. They are super cool and I expect the crowd will be super dope as well! I’m not touring with my full band (usually consisting of about 9 players) so you will only hear me and my guitar player as well as my drummer/bgv. HOWEVER, it is always a great way to hear the current record because you really get to HEAR and feel the grooviness of the tunes. It’s super cool. I’m excited to play Atlanta again! I always feel like a true playa when I get to hit up Hotlanta! Shelly plays Saturday March 10, 8pm, at The Masquerade (695 North Ave., 30308) $10 advance tickets, all ages

44  |  davidatlanta

The Quest for The Crown Dy-nas-ty \ˈdī-nə-stē\ Noun: A succession of people from the same family playing prominent roles in a certain field.


hile dynasty might be strong verbiage, a look at the facts supports that title when speaking of the success of Georgia USofA Pageants. Jeremy Burnette, Celeste Holmes, and “Team Georgia” have worked tirelessly over the past 7 years to create a crown jewel in the USofA System, with stellar results. Since 2005, 26 of the 30 Team Georgia contestants finished in the Top 12 nationally, collecting over 30 individual category awards, 14 top 5 finishes, and 4 National Crowns: Chelsea Pearl – Miss Gay USofA Classic 2005, Stasha Sanchez – Miss Gay USofA 2009, Dominique Sanchez – Miss Gay USofA 2010, and Luscious – Miss Gay USofA 2011. Team Georgia is also one of the most decorated promoters in USofA Pageant history, as the Georgia Team has been awarded Promoter of the Year, Preliminary of the Year, Distinguished Service, and Businessperson of the Year awards repeatedly at the national Miss Gay USofA, Miss USofA At Large (for competitors 200/+ pounds), Miss Gay USofA Classic (for competitors age 40/+), and Miss Gay USofA Newcomer pageants. The quality of contestants that choose the Miss Georgia Preliminary is a true testament to the knowledge and devotion of “Team Georgia,” an intangible far more valuable than just prize money. Stasha Sanchez, a 3-time representative of Georgia USofA and Miss Gay USofA 2009 recently stated, “My experience with ‘Team Georgia’ is one of the best you could ever have, not just because of the financial support, but because the love they show… Georgia USofA is the best. Gorgeous!” Producing three consecutive Miss Gay USofA titleholders is an incredible achievement and while the task of a “four peat” is daunting, the team is poised and ready to make another run at

the coveted Miss Gay USofA crown in Dallas, TX in May. Team Georgia Promoter Jeremy Burnette put it this way, “We have been very fortunate to attract a range of very talented contestants to the Miss Gay Georgia USofA Pageants, and it looks like this year will be no different. It is an honor to help our contestants achieve their dreams.” The annual Miss Georgia USofA Pageant Triple Crowning has become a must-see event on the drag pageantry circuit, and this year will be no exception. This year’s entertainment lineup includes 11 USofA present or former titleholders with performances by Raquell Lord, Niesha Dupree, Ashley Kruiz, Heather Daniels, Tamisha Iman, Lauren LaMasters, Necole Luv Dupree, Natasha Braxton, Shawnna Brooks, Tahjee Iman, Bianca Nicole, Stasha Sanchez, Dominique Sanchez, Kewesi Alexandria St. James and more including Tanisha Cassadine, Miss Gay Georgia USofA At Large, Farrah Frantz, Miss Gay Georgia USofA Newcomer, and the USofA Reigning Court: Luscious – Miss Gay USofA, Desiree DeMornay – Miss Gay USofA at Large, and Arianna Evans- Miss Gay USofA Newcomer. The event will be hosted by Atlanta Legends Tina Devore and Alexandria Martin. The Pageants begin at 7:30 PM, Thursday, March 15, 2012 at The Jungle in Atlanta, GA. Advance tickets with reserved seating are available at for $15. Admission at the door is $20. This year’s pageant will also include a fundraiser raffle for United 4 Safety, a nonprofit organization dedicated to ending intimate partner violence within the LGBTQQI community. davidatlanta  |  45 

46  |  davidatlanta

Show (it all) & Tell Lesbian Porn Director Tells All


by Jincey Lumpkin

akedness. Everywhere. All the time.

Running Juicy Pink Box, I look at women in various stages of undress all day long, every day. I think the nudity issue is one thing about my job that really fascinates people. I understand. I really do. When I was a little girl growing up in Georgia, I didn’t dream of one day becoming the lesbian Hugh Hefner; it just happened. For someone who makes her living paying people to do private things in public, I am surprisingly shy. To be perfectly honest, I’m not totally comfortable with sex; it’s an ever-evolving topic in my life. But that’s between me and my therapist. Anyway, back to the naked ladies. Being on a porn set is very different from being on a nude beach. On a nude beach everyone is either naked or in some form of skimpy clothing, but on a porn set only the talent is naked. You’ve probably heard of movie sets where everyone gets naked for love scenes? Well, I don’t run that kind of operation! I wouldn’t tolerate ogling or disrespectful behavior on my set, so the crew certainly does not sit around and stare at bare breasts. Not on purpose, anyway. However, the whole point of porn is sex, so you really can’t escape sex on a porn set. A typical day for me on set would happen something like this: I arrive at 6 a.m. -- before everyone else. Clean up. Do paperwork. Lay out breakfast. Hair and makeup people arrive and set up. Talent arrives. Talent starts hair and makeup. Stylist arrives. Stylist has talent undress. Nakedness. Talent tries on different outfits, including lingerie. I evaluate what works for the scene, what suits my taste, how comfortable the talent feels in the outfit, and how it will look on camera. Nakedness. Crew arrives and preps scene as talent finishes hair and makeup. Test shots with talent or a stand-in. We have a happy-golucky PA who often volunteers to act out the scenes for the test shots. She’s really good, and I have tried to recruit her, but she has no interest in being in front of the davidatlanta  |  47 

camera. Once out of hair and makeup, we do a photo shoot with talent. Nakedness. When that’s finished, we do final prep for the scene. Scene begins. I watch the monitor mostly, to see what the action looks like on camera. It’s always vastly different from the way it looks in person. I try to cultivate a sense of reality. I squelch anything that looks false or feels too “porn-y”. When the connection to sex is real, be it alone or between partners on screen, I find that I am glued to the monitor. I watch without any sense of separation -- I forget, and I just watch. In the moments when I get swept away like that, that’s when I know I am making something special. Scene wraps. Lunch. Rinse and repeat with the scene we shoot in the afternoon. More nakedness. I never get desensitized to sex, and honestly, when I ask the talent to remove clothing, I often blush. Somewhere inside, there is still that little girl who was afraid to look at boobs in the locker room for fear that her classmates would know she was a “dirty lesbian.” But I’m not a kid anymore. Sex is my business, and I am a professional, so at the end of the day, I have to move past my shame and focus on making excellent entertainment. The show must go on -boobies and all. Visit 48  |  davidatlanta


Manic Monday (retro night 70’s, 80’s, & 90’s) 10pm


Bad Boy Brian opens at 2pm

HERETIC Come play with Eddie 4pm-11pm


Feathers & Flesh Burlesque Revue 11pm

THE EAGLE 80’s Music with Travis FRIENDS ON PONCE Team Trivia 8pm HERETIC  H.U.M.P. Dress Code Party w/DJ Lydia Prim. 25¢ Keystone Light Draft all night long. No Cover!

JUNGLE Stars of the Century Show 11pm


THE HIDEAWAY  $2.50 Domestic Beer

THE HIDEAWAY  Craps & Blackjack with

FELIX’S  Free Pool THE COCKPIT  Big Red Cup Mondays All Day & 1/2 Price Appetizers 5-8pm

MODEL T’S Wheel of ? with Elvis 9pm


Hosted by Jealose & Jerry (Karaoke) 11pm


Let’s Make a Deal 6pm

HERETIC Two step Tuesday free 2 step lessons 8pm open dance till 11pm


No Cover Before Midnight, $5 After


Service Industry Night - Employee Prices.  Trivia w/ Will 9pm - 11pm

FELIX’S  Smirnoff Martini Night THE COCKPIT  DUDE: 80s Party, 9pm & 1/2 Price Appetizers 5-8pm

CHAPARRAL HipHop til 4am, $5 MODEL T’S Texas Hold’em Poker 9:30pm

50  |  davidatlanta

Miss Lauren


Balls Deep Karaoke, 10pm with Mikey and Wesley &1/2 Price Appetizers 5-8pm

MODEL T’S Virtually Famous Karaoke with Pat & Tina 10pm


Raquell Lord’s The Main Event Talent Show @ 10:30pm, Sign Up by 9:45pm. Also Sophia Mcintosh & The Fabulous 5 +1 @11:30pm, 18+





Texas Hold’Em Poker 7pm, The Shawna Factor Show, 11pm

Jealose’s Daring Diva’s Show 11pm

THE EAGLE DJ Dance Party

THE EAGLE Karaoke with Mikey FRIENDS ON PONCE  Where Girls Who Like Girls Meet Girls all night

HERETIC  3 Legged Cowboy Night 9pm. Free Dance Lessons 8-9pm. No Cover!


Open @ noon with Bob Brewer

HERETIC Varies: Club Night or 3 Legged Cowboy Night - 10pm

JUNGLE Club Night, Various Guest DJ’s.

JUNGLE Cherry Pop Thursday!



T-Shirt Review, $10 Cover

Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30pm

FELIX’S Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm


2-4-1 VIP Room & 2-4-1 Door Entry

THE HIDEAWAY  Levi & Leather Night FELIX’S Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm THE COCKPIT 

Dirty Boy Bingo, 9pm w/ Ruby Redd

MODEL T’S Wheel of ? with Micheal 9pm XCESS ULTRA LOUNGE/TRAXX

THE COCKPIT Rotating VJ’s & DJ’s, (resident DJ, Diablo Rojo)


T-Shirt Review, $10 Cover

CHAPARRAL Dance Party FELIX’S Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm THE COCKPIT Rotating VJ’s & DJ’s, (resident DJ, Diablo Rojo)

Turnt Up Thursday, No Cover, Hip Hop, Rnb & Reggae

MODEL T’S Sexy & Know it Party 9pm CHAPARRAL DJ Jay McKracken, $5 XCESS ULTRA LOUNGE/TRAXX


Man 2 Man, Free 4 Men 25+ B4 12am



Kitty LeClaw’s Meow Mix Show 11pm

THE EAGLE DJ Dance Party



Happy Times with Bad Boy Brian & Ken

Old School Sundays with DJ Bill Berdeaux 3pm-7pm, DJ Darryl Cox 7pm-close

HERETIC Dj Lydia prim no cover before


JUNGLE Club Night, Various DJ’s



Smirnoff B Mary Bar 12:30pm

All You Can Eat Brunch 11am-3pm



T-Shirt Review, $10 Cover

CHAPARRAL Got Leche? til 4am, $10 THE HIDEAWAY 

Make Your Own Bloody Mary Bar 12:30pm


Bloody Mary & Mimosa Wallet Pleasers

After Work Martini Madness


FELIX’S Bartenders Serve It Up!

PBR Beer Bust -- Open & Pouring

THE COCKPIT  Rotating VJ’s & DJ’s, (resident DJ, Diablo Rojo)

MODEL T’S Morning Bagels / Texas Hold’em

MODEL T’S Sunday Dinner with Ron 3:30pm CHAPARRAL Hip Hop w DJ Truz, no cover

Poker 9:30pm

calendar  |  BARTAB


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Safe Space

Can I get HIV by kissing? Q: I met this hot guy the other night while hanging out. We went back to his place and had the hottest make out session, and afterward told me he was HIV positive! Am I going to get infected from kissing him? A: First, because you never know how far making out can go, you might want to consider having a conversation about HIV status up front before things heat up. However, most likely nothing besides spit would’ve gotten swapped. You can’t get HIV from saliva; it is estimated that you would have to stand in an aquarium sized tank full in order to do so. HIV is only carried in the following body fluids: blood, semen (cum), vaginal secretions, and breast milk. The only way your make-out session would put you at any risk is if he was bleeding in his mouth (such as from bleeding gums) and that blood got into a cut or opening inside your mouth – and while possible, not very likely. Amber Reid, LAPC Team Lead/Sex Coaching Curious about how you can stay safe? Looking to ENHANCE your sex life with less worry about your status? Want to be more in touch with your feelings and your body? Try Project CLEAR! Contact Amber Reid at or 678-365-4300. MISTER offers free HIV testing and STD screenings Monday through Saturday at our new location in Midtown at 60 Eleventh Street just across from the Federal Building and one block over from the Midtown MARTA station.

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60  |  davidatlanta

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20): Venus coming home to Taurus opens you up to new dreams, ideas and romances. Stay within your budget, but let all other limits and constraints fly to the wind. Sharing your ideals and dreams will boost your allure. GEMINI (May 21- June 20): Wild impulsive ideas can lead to true love or add some juice to an existing relationship. Confess your wildest hopes and some will be fulfilled. Think ahead, though! Life gets crazy next week. Pay attention to details. CANCER (June 21- July 22): Be helpful, kind and supportive, but bending over backwards for others will just get you a sore back. Open-mindedness is good, but study basic premises before adopting entire philosophies. You will be heard, so think before speaking!

LEO (July 23 – August 22): You’re too sexy for your shoes, too sexy for your lover, too sexy for your job. Tone down the charm and charisma at least a little bit. Others can easily make it out to be more than you intended, arousing jealousy and harassment suits. VIRGO (August 23 – September 22): Your naughty mouth can get you into trouble, delicious or otherwise. Tell the one you love what you’d really like to do when you’re alone together. It could do wonders for your relationship.


ARIES (March 20 – April 19): Is cooperation more trouble than it’s worth? Your colleagues may feel the same way about you. Focus on improving your technical and interpersonal skills. Things will improve soon. Build a track record you can be proud of.

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22): A flirtation with a co-worker or an exercise buddy could turn into something serious, unless you take it too seriously. Let it be fun and light. You both need some fresh air and fun, and if that’s all it is, that’s OK, too. SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21): As you get over being cranky and critical of your friends, how many do you have left? Getting rid of annoying twits may improve your life, but you probably still have some fences to mend. Make time for the folks who really matter. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 20): Family ties or work in your community can strengthen a foundation for your career. Thing seem to be backsliding now. Recalculate your direction. That will take a few weeks yet. Don’t fret over immediate results. Keep your eye on the long run. CAPRICORN (December 21 – January 19): Why do siblings or neighbors drive you crazy? It’s not about you. Work to understand and be sympathetic to their problems. On a power surge right now, you can afford to be generous. AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18): Try not to take yourself, your ideas or your sex life too seriously. Dissatisfaction drives the search for improvement; an open mind, some humility and a sense of humor will help you succeed. The comforts of home help you keep balanced. PISCES (February 19 – March 19): “Brilliant” financial ideas will soon prove to need correcting. You probably have a good start to a plan, though it needs time and work. Don’t act prematurely! Listen to your partner’s suggestions politely, but your friends really have the better insights.

Scopes brought to you by Jack Fertig, professional astrologer since 1977. Visit his website at davidatlanta  |  61 

Bitch! Session

Let me get this right: You admit you ruined every relationship you ever had because you can’t keep your dick in your pants, and now you’ve sold all your shit and you’re moving in with your latest boyfriend you met a few months ago in Texas? Good luck with that!

Anti-depressants should be mandatory for everybody… too many angry bitches running around town.

Is it humanly possible to be that dumb? The “ice cream headache” is nature’s way of saying, “slow down, fat ass.”

Boys, you need to stop acting like your bartenders don’t see what you are doing in the bathroom. It really is obvious.

The Ellen commercials for JCPenny are surprisingly amazing. I never thought I would actually want to go into a JCPenny again, yet, now I am thinking about it! You think a man will solve your issues, but you are so off the grid. Get help before you drag me into your mess.

Gotta Bitch?

Text 404.969.BTCH aka 404.969.2824 or email 62  |  davidatlanta

I keyed the name of the slut you have been cheating on me with into your car so the whole world can know to avoid you.

How are you going to ask me on a date and then half way through tell me you want to be single the rest of your life. Check please!

I am not in the business of trying to teach you how to have sex. Being vindictive isn’t going to help you get what you want, but it will get you shunned from people who will ever work with you.

I tried to help you out and be your friend but all you did was talk behind my back, steal my money, and drink all my booze. You will fit in Atlanta just fine! You can tell summer is right around the corner because all the boys are back in the gym trying to get toned. Mmmm.

We may have gone to jail on our first date, but I still had a great time. You might have a problem with booze when you are getting drunk and McDonald’s hasn’t even finished serving breakfast yet.

Obama 2012!! No stopping him baby!!

Issue 686