Issue 685

Issue 685 Feb 29 - Mar 7 | 2012

David | Atlanta Issue 685 | Feb 29 – Mar 7, 2012

David Magazine

650 Hamilton Ave. Suite H Atlanta, GA 30312 404.418.8901

Contents 8 10 12 14 16 22 28 29 30 34 36 38 40 41 42 43 44 46 48 52 54 55 58 60 62

STAFF David Thompson | Publisher david@davidatlanta.com Maximillian Corwell | Editor-in-Chief max@davidatlanta.com Joseph Brownell | Entertainment Editor joseph@davidatlanta.com Kiki Carr | Art Director

kiki@davidatlanta.com WTF!?!?!

Scene@ Blakes Chip O’ Kelley | Operations chip@davidatlanta.com Men Seeking Men WTF!?!?! Tidbits Sales Executives Steve Tyrrell POP! CULTURE The TV Graveyard steve@davidatlanta.com Bob Swanson POP! CULTURE Celebrity Trainwreck Apprentice bob@davidatlanta.com Top 10 Tracks Elijah Sarkesian elijah@davidatlanta.com Opinions Matter: Rihanna Brent Star Writers Rian Ashlei Scene@ The Jungle Chris Azzopardi Safe Space | Protect Your Monster Luis Chiruco Richard Marshall Raja graces Dragnique Stasha Oakley Troy Ordami Birthday Fundraiser with Richy Pugh Elijah Sarkesian Hear Me Out Dustin Shelby Brent Star Scene@ The Cockpit Tristan Timothy La Nota Rosa Lucas Witherspoon Deep Inside Hollywood Randall Carpenter | Photographer Scene@ The Eagle Julio Saldana | Photography Intern BarTab Map Joseph Brownell | Web & Social Media BarTab Calendar Jamie Scarbrough | IT Classifieds National Ad Rep COMICS Couple of Gays | Bitter Girl Rivendell Media Adult Classifieds 908.232.2031 Fairyscopes Add us on Facebook!

Bitch Session DavidAtlanta

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WTF!?!?

I Loathe Chris Brown

I

by Lucas Witherspoon ’m just going to go ahead and put it out there: I unabashedly loathe Chris Brown.

This isn’t a particularly new development.

I’ve always found him to be a bit generic, but it really was his personal incident with Rihanna that cemented him as a completely ungrateful douche in my mind.

Rihanna, he beat the living shit out of her.

He slammed her against a window, continuously punched her, even as she tried to cover her face for protection, continued bloodying her face, even after she was already bleeding from the mouth, threatened to beat her even more when they got home, threatened to kill her, choked her, bit her multiple times, and then continued hitting her until she finally managed to escape. This all happened in one sitting.

What’s sadder about this entire incident, though, is that Rihanna has made efforts to collaborate with him, both personally and professionally. But she’s not alone. After his Grammys performance, there were a slew of females who made disturbing comments about their desire to be hit by Chris Brown, if only for the chance to sleep with him.

I legitimately could not believe what I was reading. I was flabbergasted that some women would actually be willing to sacrifice their dignity, self worth, and safety just to have some moderately talented R&B singer stick it to them?

I realize that a lot of people are completely exhausted by this topic at this point, but it’s recently come to fruition again because of Miranda Lambert’s comments (among other celebrities) following his Grammys performance and win for Best R&B Album.

Here’s the thing: this is likely never going to be a defunct topic to me or for him. It’d be different if Chris Brown had at all acted apologetic or shown a little bit of humility and remorse. Instead, he laughed his way through community service and has continuously shown that his ability to control his anger since then is minimal. Also, this was not an isolated incident. In the past, there have been a handful of other incidents where he’s been accused of being physically and/or emotionally violent, in particular towards his own family members.

In case you’ve forgotten the specifics of the incident, Chris Brown didn’t just hit or punch 8 | davidatlanta

While I don’t think that professional and personal worlds should mix in all cases, in this instance, I believe it’s absolutely fair to hold Chris Brown accountable for his personal actions. For him to essentially be rewarded for his previous actions is despicable. I frankly do not understand how he still has fans. As aforementioned, if he were to show some humility or understanding of the brevity of what he did, I would be much more willing to believe in the legitimacy of his farcical apologies, but he has not been at all attritional for severely physically assaulting another person, albeit a woman.

In an industry where male R&B singers with a decent voice and Michael Jackson-esque dance moves are a dime a dozen, Chris Brown should be much more appreciative of his position, and we as a general public should be much more discerning about who we support.

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Men Seeking Men

Flirty Mouth

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by Tristan Timothy

ven as a reformed cheater and ex-douche bag boyfriend I still have my moments. I’ve learned to control my urges over the years but sometimes I can fall into the trap of shameless flirting and dropping sexual innuendos that really just sound like propositions. I’ve had over 10 boyfriends in my life and cheated on all of them. (Except for my current one!

I should mention that…) If anything is to blame it’s my flirty little mouth, that sometimes has a mind of it’s own. (That was not supposed to sound as dirty as it did.)

At first I just chalked it up to a wandering eye.

As a young gay male I was constantly fighting the need to express my newfound sexuality with my want of a serious relationship. I found that in each relationship I was in, I was always looking for an upgrade. I wasn’t very picky about who I dated as long as they had something to offer me. I realize now that by not setting any qualifications for a boyfriend I was really just passing time with whomever.

I was never fully invested in a relationship because I always knew there was another boy for the taking when I wanted.

Recently my current boyfriend flew into a tizzy over some messages he found between me and someone else on Facebook. In my defense I really wasn’t flirting. Well maybe I was, but flirting for me is like second nature.

I think for a lot of gay men it comes so easy.

Conversations are always steeped in sexual

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Gay Dating in the City tones. Even if I have just met someone I usually bring up something sexual within the first 15 minutes of meeting them. I’ve now learned that this is confusing to other people. While I’m doing my best to be charming in the only way I know how to be (which is basically complimenting their best assets and showing them a dick pic from my phone) people who don’t know me are taking my words at face value. By the end of the night they are trying to develop a more physical relationship while I’m wondering what gave them the impression that I was interested in one.

So, while I’ve learned to keep in it my pants I still have a way to go on the flirting. I have no idea how to make friends without hinting at the promise of something sexual and exchanging nude pics. The way I see it, if you can’t trade nude pics amongst friends, what good are friends anyways?

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WTF!?!? Tidbits According to a demographic study done by The LA Times, the majority of the 5,765 members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (the Oscars panel) are old white men. Their findings are about as obvious as Paula Deen’s type 2 diabetes diagnoses… or Pamela Anderson’s hepatitis C diagnoses… or Oprah’s thyroid disease… or—well, you get the point.

Lil Kim appeared on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live, where she gener-

ally managed to avoid questions about the “feud” between her and Nicki Minaj, but inevitably took a few swipes. Clearly this is a debate that is almost as relevant as Roe v.

Wade. *eye roll* [Editor’s Note: Given the recent numerous attacks on Roe v. Wade, we question Lucas’ comparison. But then he doesn’t have a uterus. That we know of.]

After he has gone on to sell out his daughter many times to tabloids, Adele has vowed that if she ever sees her advantageous father again, she “will spit in his face.” It sounds like a threat until you realize IT’S ADELE. She could spit in my face and I’d use her salivary remnants as Holy water.

A velvet gown and pair of earrings worn by Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard are to be auctioned off by celebrity auctioneer Darren Julien. I think it’s a bit too soon to be auctioning off objects so personal and relative to Whitney, but it wouldn’t stop me from going bankrupt to bid on the costume she wore during “Queen of the Night” in the film.

Victoria Beckham (who will forever be Posh Spice in my mind) claims she’s not unhappy, as tabloid reports would have you believe, but rather “tired.”

Honey, you don’t owe anyone an excuse when you look that fabulous running on Adderall, a celery stick, and David Beckham dicking.

A series of ads from a religious group advertising

“purity” (read: abstinence) featuring a “Purity Bear” (read: a creepier version of Pedobear) have gone viral. Sorry to break it to you real-life girls in a relationship with a “pure” guy, but there’s a 98 percent chance your boyfriend is a homo… which somehow makes me want to go down on them more.

by Lucas Witherspoon

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by Maximillian Corwell

elevision is cut throat when it comes to cancelling shows that you watch and care about. They bait you, bring you along for weeks on a journey, lead you on into the season finales huge cliffhanger, and voila – it never comes back again. The side you don’t always get exposed to is the business side of television, and if a show doesn’t meet networks expectations financially and with advertisers, it goes quickly onto the chopping block.

So how does a show meet network expectations? It depends on several factors, but as with most things, it boils right down the money. Shows survive based off how much advertisers are willing to pay for ads during that show, and the better a show does with 18-49 year olds, the more money a show makes. There are always other factors that come into play, like how much a licensing fee for the show is, syndication, and international sales of a TV show, but we will save those explanations for another time.

Lets take a quick look at shows from the big 5 (ABC, FOX, NBC, CBS, and CW) and see if your favorite show is on the chopping block or safe for another year … at this point in time.

Keep in mind, this list can chance between now and the end of the season, however the shows in danger, it will be hard to recover.

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ABC Pan Am: Defacto Cancelled The show took off with such promise, but lack of plot, character development, and excitement led this show to week after week lose its audience. While ABC hasn’t officially cancelled the show, they only picked up one extra episode for the season (instead of the usual extra 8 episodes a network picks up). What started out so strong in the ratings department became a joke later on.

Goodbye Pan Am!

Revenge: Likely Renewal The explosive nighttime soap opera was a risk for ABC who doesn’t do much original programming in the 10pm hour. That time frame is usually hard to make a hit show because most people go to bed. However, the show has become an addictive weekly staple, especially with the gays. Who doesn’t love a little revenge, with well-dressed rich people getting cut down to size? Expect a second season.

Once Upon A Time: Certain Renewal The show has everything going right for it.

Well written, suspenseful, family friendly yet exciting enough for adults, it was a home run for the network. We love week after week tuning in to explore childhood fairy tales in a dark and exciting way. The Evil Queen versus Snow White … great television drama.

The rest of ABC: Cancelled: Charlie’s Angels, Work It!, Man Up Will Be Cancelled: Body of Proof Could Go Either Way: The River Likely Renewal: Castle, Private Practice, Last Man Standing, Revenge Certain Renewal: Suburgatory, The Middle, Happy Endings, Once Upon A Time, Grey’s Anatomy, Modern Family Last Season: Desperate Housewives

Terra Nova: Could Go Either Way

FOX Alcatraz: Likely Cancellation The J.J. Abrams produced show about the famous prison was not what many viewers were expecting. The show focuses on hunting down former Alcatraz prisoners who have time traveled time into the present year. It’s no secret that Fox has been trying to capture another Lost type hit for years now, but another time traveling, J.J. Abrams show with Jorge Garcia… was that really the best route? Viewers haven’t resonated with it… and the ratings keep dropping. The rock will be evacuated again after this season.

The VERY expensive show had high hopes on the network, and it hasn’t done poorly, however, it hasn’t met expectations either. Produced

by Steven Spielberg, the show offered a lot of promise, and quickly fans realized the script was pure cheese. So what is the fate of this show? Hard to say yet. Truth is, if any of Fox’s less expensive shows had the ratings of Terra Nova, it would be safe, however due to the sheer expense of this show, it could either end up with a huge budget cut next season or be gone all together.

New Girl: Certain Renewal Who’s that girl…. It’s Jess! The sassy, spunky, hilarious Zooey Deschanel will be coming back next season as we get to have more adventures with America’s favorite indie girl. What has been a runaway hit for the network will surely throw Ms. Deschanel further into the spotlight.

The rest of FOX: Cancelled: Allen Gregory Will Be Cancelled: Fringe Likely Cancellation: Alcatraz, The Finder, I Hate My Teenage Daughter Could Go Either Way: Napoleon Dynamite, Raising Hope, Terra Nova Likely Renewal: Bones Certain Renewal: Glee, New Girl, Touch Renewed: American Dad, Family Guy, The Cleveland Show, The Simpsons

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NBC The Firm: Cancelled So why am I including a show you probably never watched, heard about, or care about… especially if it’s already cancelled? Only to highlight the issues going on at NBC. The network has been struggling to keep its ratings up on its shows, and even though this show was given to them for free almost (an entire season), it still was cancelled and moved to Saturday nights after only a few episodes. The network needs a really big hit, and is struggling to find one.

Smash: Could Go Either Way The heavily hyped anti-Glee started out with a pretty strong premiere the day after the Superbowl, but ratings are still declining and are waiting to stabilize. It is normal for shows ratings to fall the first few weeks after a shows premiere as it finds its audience, but hopefully they won’t fall too much more or else the show could be in trouble. What is wrong with the show so far? Broadway songs are niche and not mainstream, the plot moves too slowly in some areas and too fast in others, and nothing has happened to make you truly excited to tune in each week.

The rest of NBC: Cancelled: Prime Suspect, The Firm, Free Agents, The Playboy Club Will Be Cancelled: Harry’s Law Could Go Either Way: Smash, Whitney, Community, Are You There Chelsea?

Likely Renewal: 30 Rock, Parenthood, Up All Night, Parks & Recreation Certain Renewal: Grimm, The Office, Law & Order: SVU Last Season: Chuck

CBS 2 Broke Girls: Will Be Renewed The sitcom is a homerun on so many levels. For anybody who has ever worked in a restaurant, you will not only find the show hilarious, you would have asked yourself why you didn’t write it yourself. The sitcom follows two girls, one from a poor family, one from a penniless former wealthy family, who work towards their dream of opening a cupcake shop together. Looks like we will have a chance to see their dream come true.

The Good Wife: Likely Renewal This is one of those shows that are an exception to the ratings rule. If we were to base the show off ratings alone, based off CBS’s average shows, it would be in the likely cancellation area.

However, the shows ratings have never been that great and it has been renewed three times already. So why would the network renew a show with poor ratings for another year? Syndication.

As the show gets closer to syndication, that means big money for the network and those involved. To cancel it now would mean they would miss out on huge cash… so, if you are one of the few who watch this show, it probably won’t be going anywhere.

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The rest of CBS: Cancelled: How To Be A Gentleman Will Be Cancelled: A Gifted Man Likely Cancellation: Unforgettable Could Go Either Way: CSI: NY, Rob, Rules of Engagement Likely Renewal: The Good Wife, CSI, Blue Bloods, CSI: Miami, The Mentalist Certain Renewal: 2 Broke Girls, NCIS, NCIS: Los Angeles, Criminal Minds, Hawaii Five-0, Mike & Molly, Person Of Interest, Two and a Half Men Renewed: How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory

CW Ringer: Likely Cancellation Critics and the gays seemed equally excited to have Sarah Michelle Gellar back on television.

The show seemed to have a ton of promise also with identity stealing, murder, mystery, affairs, money, and danger. Sounds like a recipe for success, so where did audiences not catch on? Hard to say, but all of CW shows are down heavily from last year. Not sure if the show is the issue, or if the network needs to revamp its image… and quickly.

Nikita: Could Go Either Way The female led super spy, conspiracy show reminded us a little bit of Alias when it first came on two years ago. You know the story, rogue agents fighting to take down some bad agency that is ruining the world. We have heard the plot before. Nikita found a niche audience last year but not enough to keep it on the normal lineup, so it was bumped to Friday, where shows go to die but are put on life support. For a Friday show, it has done reasonably well, but not great. The network could cancel the show simply to open an hour of programming space for something else.

The Secret Circle: Likely Renewal What was poised to sound like a spin-off of The Vampire Diaries hasn’t lived up to the same expectations of the network’s biggest show, but it has done reasonably well, all things considered. Again, with the CW’s ratings being down across the board, a few years ago this show probably would have been more of a toss up, but with the current ratings situation going on, you can expect this show to stick around for another year.

The rest of CW: Likely Cancellation: Ringer Could Go Either Way: Nikita, Hart Of Dixie, Gossip Girl Likely Renewal: 90210, The Secret Circle Certain Renewal: The Vampire Diaries, Supernatural Last Season: One Tree Hill

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by Joseph Brownell

ove over Desperate Housewives and Good Wife, y’all will have to sit on the DVR until Monday. My Sunday obsession, Celebrity Trainwreck Apprentice, is back in all its D-list (faded) glory. C’mon where else can you watch Joan and Melissa Rivers call Annie Duke “a whore-pit viper” or NeNe ‘I’m Rich from My Trump Checks’ Leakes call the meek La Toya Jackson “Casper” and then befriend her in the next episode? It’s a guilty pleasure to see people with egos from their heyday on television still acting like they’re the biggest deal in the world.

This season of Celebrity Apprentice boasts the biggest cast ever with 18 cast members and after the first episode you can already tell some of these personalities are going to create some onscreen drama.

Team Unanimous (guys)

Clay Aiken Best known as the runner up of American Idol season 2, Aiken could show some claws during this season of Apprentice.

In the first episode, it was hilarious to see some girl (who you know is still a fan from his Idol days) ask if she can make it rain on Clay Aiken. She tosses up $5,000. Aiken leans in, closes his eyes and smiles like he’s getting a facial from Josh Gracin.

George Takei Gay activist and Star Trek actor Georg Takei is a quiet man but the first time he saw Lou Ferrigno with his shirt off, Takei lit up faster than Captain Kirk when he said ‘beam me 22 | davidatlanta

up, Scotty’. Takei won’t be around more than 5 episodes, but he wouldn’t complain if he went home with Ferrigno.

Adam Carolla Comedian Adam Carolla has always aimed to shock and last year he shocked GLAAD and the LGBT community with some anti-gay rhetoric. Aiken referred to Carolla’s joking during the first episode as “frat boy”.

I’m pretty sure Carolla now holds the record for most jokes cracked during a premiere episode of Apprentice, but it seems the joke’s on him and his charity Catholic Big Brother Big Sisters.

Anything you want to tell us about wine tastings prior to mass with your priest, Adam?

Arsenio Hall Hall opened the show by sharing the advice Ruben Studdard gave him prior to Apprentice . . . don’t be the first brother to lose to Clay Aiken. It’s admirable that Hall is playing for the Magic Johnson Foundation which helps raise HIV/AIDS awareness but I’m not sure Hall’s likeable presence is going to do much to keep him around for the season.

Lou Ferrigno Better known as The Incredible Hulk and a former Mr. Universe, Ferrigno has two strengths. First, his strength.

That’s a big mother******. I’d be scared of him.

The second? He has a hearing problem so when Trump says “You’re Fired” he won’t hear it and we’ll see him in several more episodes.

Michael Andretti Below D-list here.

Apprentice didn’t even want him . . . they wanted his father Mario Andretti but the son substituted in after his father lost a friend in a tragic accident. Sorry, Michael you aren’t going to make many trips around this track.

Paul Teutul, Sr. Known best as the owner of Orange County Choppers from Discovery Channel’s hit reality series American Chopper, Teutul flexed his fundraising muscles with a single $305,000 donation during the first task.

He could be this season’s John Rich and already after week one he’s raised nearly half a million dollars for the Make-a-Wish Foundation.

Penn Jillette Magician and television personality could bring some real magic to his team. He could be a great draw during tasks designed to bring crowds in or his magic act could just be hokey and he could end up doing a disappearing act in a few weeks. He’s the definite mysterious dark horse on Team Unanimous.

Dee Snider Almost put Dee on the girl’s team for this article because of all the makeup in his promo picture and previews for episode 2 show him in medieval drag. Twisted Sister’s lead singer didn’t make much of a splash during the first episode but rock dudes are tough they’ve survived drugs, one night stands and that awful 80’s hair.

Team Forté (girls)

Aubrey O’Day O’Day was part of doubleplatinum reality band Danity Kane put together

by Puff Daddy, Sean Combs, err, Diddy, but honey was kicked out for her attitude. She came off bitchy in the first episode when her team didn’t think she was the most recognizable stating off camera that she “had the most twitter followers” and even more so when she took the microphone from Debbie Gibson to do her thing with Wyclef Jean. Also, what’s up with that hair? I’m not sure but since your charity is Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), I’m sure there are one or two hair dressers who could educate you.

Dayana Mendoza Trump’s affiliation with Miss Universe always nets a contestant or two from that world and this year Mendoza, 2008’s Miss Universe, brings her brains and beauty to Apprentice. Not sure she has the gumption required to last through some of these stronger personalities but that isn’t to say she isn’t going to try. Mendoza’s charity is the Latino Commission on AIDS which aims to fight the spread of HIV/AIDS in the Latino community. davidatlanta | 23

Debbie Gibson I may be shot for saying this but I didn’t realize that Ms. Gibson had such a big nose. Who nose knows, maybe that will help her sniff out the competition. Described as a musical prodigy, Gibson still holds the record as the youngest person to ever write, produce and perform a number one song in the Guinness Book of World Records, and we’ve already seen her talk about her musical talents to which Trump shut her down. She’s been in the business for a long time though and that could help her sing all the way to the finals.

Lisa Lampanelli The Queen of Mean is the real reason I’m tuning in to Celebrity Apprentice this season. Lampanelli was quite subdued during the first episode but previews for episode 2 already show that “I’m not taking any sh*t” attitude. Before the season is over Lampanelli is going to offend half of the cast and half of the audience and I’m going to be laughing uncontrollably on the floor. Also, Lamapanelli is fighting for Gay Men’s Health Crisis, a cause we can all get behind.

Patricia Velasquez Velasquez was the first Latina supermodel, has starred in a countless number of TV shows and films including The Mummy, is an activist and also the first losing project manager of the season but not for lack of trying. Velasquez brought out big names for her first project just to be trumped by Paul Teutul’s generous donor. She ran the team without conflict and in an assured and mature way. If this was a regular edition of Apprentice, I think Velasquez would have the stuff to take it all the way to the top.

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Teresa Guidice New York Times bestselling author and star of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Guidice may be the most visible current celebrity this season. She rocked in the kitchen and outside getting people in during the first task which only goes to show this woman is here to win. She’s one to watch this season.

Tia Carrere When they said Grammy Award winner I had to go look that up. While she’s no Adele, Carrere has won Grammys for Best Hawaiian Music Album (I’m pretty sure that didn’t get any screen time). Carrere is just a sweet soul too sweet. As she slipped and told Velasquez she could bring her back into the boardroom something any Apprentice fan knows is a one-way ticket home. Carrere needs to straighten up and strategize unless this is all part of a bigger strategy for Wayne’s World 3.

Victoria Gotti I’m gonna keep my mouth shut on this contestant because we all knows what happens to those with loose lips around a Gotti.

Okay I can’t. She looks like a cross between Ice-T’s wife and the Beast from the 80’s television series Beauty and the Beast. Already in the first episode she’s making personal calls, showing up late and having health issues. Honey, I don’t think you scratched your eye I think all those brow lifts are starting to fall. Watch for Gotti this season to be the source of major drama. *Note Supermodel Cheryl Tiegs was also part of the team but was just too sweet to stay in the competition. In other words, she was fired.

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Top 10 Tracks 1. #1 In Heaven — MNDR 2. Bad Girls — M.I.A 3. Birthday Cake (feat. Chris Brown) - Rihanna 4. Next To Me — Emeli Sandé 5. Light Up (The World) — Yasmin feat. Shy FX & Ms. Dynamite 6. Body Work — Morgan Page feat. Tegan and Sar 7. Set Fire to the Rain — Adele 8. Big Mouth — Santigold 9. Turn Up the Music — Chris Brown feat. Rihanna 10. Give Me All Your Luvin’ — Madonna feat. M.I.A. & Nicki Minaj

By Dustin Shelby. Check out more music at Dustin’s blog at www.echodust.com

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Why Rihanna’s public reconciliation with Chris Brown is a problem

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by Elijah Sarkesian

hen I realized that my selfish decision for love could result in some young girl getting killed, I could not be easy with that part. I couldn’t be held responsible for telling them ‘Go back.’ Even if Chris never hit me again, who’s to say that their boyfriend won’t? Who’s to say that they won’t kill these girls?

These are young girls. I just didn’t realize what an impact I had on these young girls’ lives until that happened.”

It seems like Rihanna’s either forgotten her own words to 20/20 these days, or simply doesn’t care anymore. After months of rumors regarding Rihanna being in regular contact with former boyfriend Chris Brown, the two made their reconnection public with the simultaneous releases of remixes of Rihanna’s “Birthday Cake” and Brown’s “Turn Up the Music,” with the artists adding verses to each other’s respective song.

Now, when it comes to what Rihanna does in her personal life, it’s not my place to object to her choices, even if she chooses to forgive Brown. It’s her choice to do whatever she needs to do to get past the incident. I think it’s also been abundantly clear since the incident that she doesn’t want to be treated like a victim, which is part of why her music really has become edgier since the incident.

Part of the problem now, though, is that she’s professionally validating him and his actions, which (at least professionally) seem to embrace the bad-boy image he garnered when the incident occurred. That’s where I know I have a problem, because both artists have fans that don’t seem to

Opinions Matter understand the seriousness of what happened.

If you haven’t read the police report from the incident, take a moment to look it over; the details are excruciating. It may not tell the whole story, but it’s clear between the report and the leaked photos of Rihanna that Chris Brown didn’t simply hit her—he viciously beat her. If he’s sorry for his actions, it’s not apparent based on his public behavior over the past three years, which has included several Twitter tantrums and smashing chairs at Good Morning America.

Of course, the two aren’t the first couple in the public eye to have their share of issues.

You can call them the new Bobby & Whitney, or the new Ike & Tina. There really hasn’t been a volatile couple like this with such a young and impressionable fan base, though. The relative lack of maturity shows when fans go online and say that they’d let Chris Brown hit them; it’s clear that not enough has been done to address the fact that what he did was flat-out wrong.

It’s one thing for Rihanna to wish him well in his career, which she’s done before. I don’t necessarily have a problem with that. But with the two now collaborating again, it’s sending a potentially dangerous message to their young audiences.

The Rihanna of a few years ago understood that she was, like it or not, a role model. I can understand not wanting that burden, but she has a platform most victims of domestic abuse don’t, and she should keep them in mind when making decisions like those she’s made in the past few weeks.

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Who celebrated “Black History Month” this year?

Seriously?

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HEN? WHERE? It’s like everyone KNOWS it’s Black History Month, but everyone ASSUMES that at some point during this month, somewhere a group of us Black folks throw a huge… um…celebration? So, I was at the Jungle Nightclub Monday night for the Stars of the Century Show, which is currently THE biggest drag show in Atlanta, and it was the ONLY show or gay event in town that dedicated its program to Black History Month.

As usual, it was a great show, but what happened to the rest of this month? Are we supposed to celebrate Black History before or after Valentine’s Day or Mardi Gras? Do we celebrate it a few days before the Grammy’s or right after The Oscars? What about at the end of the Super bowl game? Or on President’s Day? In other words, WHEN???

And don’t get it twisted, this month is for EVERYONE to celebrate, not just us.

Oh yeah, for example, it was a Black man, Garrett Morgan, who gets credit for inventing a type of “traffic light” for the United States…in other words, for ALL of us to benefit from (even though some folks conveniently pretend to be color blind at times getting the RED mixed up with the GREEN light).

Another tant

imporBlack

inventor was Benjamin Banneker. Aside from being a mathematician, astronomer, and author, he was a talented clock builder and built a working clock by the age 22. See, no matter what color you are, you can accomplish anything you want! He helped show all of us that!

On a lighter note, or saltier note, George Crum invented the first ‘potato chips’ back in 1854. By 1860 he became rich selling all those damn chips. (This of course was BEFORE Herman Lay popularized the product through the Southeast U.S.) So next time you sit on the couch to watch TV with a bag of chips in your hands during February, turn off everything and have a quick moment of silence for African American inventor George Crum…but I’m not sure who invented buffalo wings.

Next, she didn’t invent Marta, but in 1849 Harriet Tubman sure did come up with the “Underground Railroad Get Away” system as a rescue passage way for slaves to escape.

How does this apply to us all? Well…her message is no matter what situation you’re in, always remember, “Where there’s a WILL, there’s a WAY!” Of course there are plenty more relevant great Black folks from OUR history whom we can learn from and pay tribute to during this super short month that’s filled with a lot of activity (I’m surprised St. Patrick’s Day isn’t in February). But seriously, if you were to FIND time this month, look at where we come from and where we are today. Some of us are still eating plain potato chips.

Until next week, DON’T read the girls, instead read The Brent Star Report!

34 | davidatlanta

davidatlanta | 35

Safe Space

Roulette isn’t for condoms

I

remember back when everybody was getting sick left and right. It was pretty scary.

Nobody knew exactly what to do about it but they did say using condoms could reduce the risk of getting HIV. I carried one with me and tried using them sometimes. It wasn’t always a success.

Like, there was this time I was messing around with a guy; he wanted to top me — and do it bareback. I didn’t feel good about it but did it anyway and ended up with a bacterial infection! It was easily cured with antibiotics, but man was I freaked out —I could have gotten something else, like HIV!! THAT can’t be cured!

That was enough of a scare for me to stop playing games with my health and start using condoms and since then I haven’t been infected with anything.

Be a Role Model! Be an Advocate! Share your Voice!

Contact Chandler Bearden at Chandler.Bearden@PositiveImpact-atl.org or call 678-365-4300.

MISTER offers free HIV testing and STD screenings Monday through Saturday at our new location in Midtown at 60 Eleventh Street just across from the Federal Building and one block over from the Midtown MARTA station.

Protect Your Monster

36 | davidatlanta

by Richard Marshall

celebrity judge Raja graces the stage for this season’s Dragnique

The fabulous Raja Gemini was crowned America’s Next Drag Superstar by the one and only RuPaul on the third season of RuPaul’s Drag Race, but she is not new to the spotlight. People first got a chance to know Raja as Sutan Amrull, the celebrity make-up artist who worked on nine cycles of America’s Next Top Model. Having worked with celebrities such as Tyra Banks, Twiggy, Iman, and Pam Anderson, it has helped build an amazing career for the superstar over the years. Most recently Raja’s work has been associated with Adam Lambert as his personal make-up artist for print, music videos, and his Glam Nation World Tour.

Raja will be bringing all that fabulousness to Atlanta for the third installment of Dragnique, which starts Wednesday March 7th at Jungle Nightclub as she helps judge the new crop of contestants and performs for the audience. Come get a chance to see her live, and welcome the new contestants of this years most exciting drag competition in Atlanta!

38 | davidatlanta

Lordy, Lordy, Look Who’s Forty …Again Sordid Lives’ Lavonda helps Pugh raise funds for the Jerusualem House

F

by Joseph Brownell

or some there comes a time when birthdays go from magical themed childhood parties and surprise gifts to a dreadful time of year that the birthday boy or girl refuses to acknowledge. Richy Pugh may be

turning 40 (again) but he isn’t hiding from it . . . he’s front and center giving back to the community.

Last year, Pugh, a decade long member of the Atlanta LGBT community, was inspired by the dynamic fundraising efforts from Jerusalem House proponent Mary Edith Pitts. He decided to take his 40th birthday party and follow in Pitts’ footsteps, asking 50 of his closest friends to gather in celebration. What started out as 50 friends grew into hundreds and the eventual accumulation of $7500 for Jerusalem House.

Pugh is back this weekend, Saturday March 3rd from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. at Jungle with One Sordid Night. The event is based on the cult classic film and LOGO TV series, Sordid Lives, and will feature a guest appearance from actress Ann Walker, who hilariously played LaVonda. In addition to a hunk auction, there will also be a silent auction featuring items such as Sordid Lives DVDs autographed

by Del Shores and the beaded robe worn by Ann Walker in the television series. Also expect great performances from Mary Edith Pitts, Erica Lee, Regina Cartier (Pugh himself), Gunza Blazin and Monica Mitchells.

Can’t make it to the party Saturday night? Then you’ll definitely want to pick up tickets to Sunday’s brunch with Ann walker at The Fifth Ivory.

Tickets for Saturday’s event at Jungle are $15 in advance or $20 at the door. Brunch tickets, which include a special menu and 2 mimosas, are $35 and can only be purchased in advance. Brunch tickets are limited.

Tickets for both events can be purchased at http://onesordidnight. eventbrite.com/

40 | davidatlanta

Hear Me Out Lana Del Rey Born to Die

Kellie Pickler 100 Proof For how strong Kellie Pickler comes on with the traditionalist country of her third album, the 100 Proof title does more than befit the switch.

Effectively capable of lingering like a potent liquor, the word-challenged reality star ditches her Shania Twain post-Idol roots for Tammy Wynette (Pickler’s not making that serious face on the cover for nothing). And that’s not just because she name-drops her – to wonderful effect, in fact, on a feisty homage to the legendary lady, who plays her spiritual guide of sorts – but Pickler has never sounded so in her zone as the anti-Carrie Underwood of country.

Pseudo-genre songs never fit the North Carolina native’s obvious accent, so she’s right at home channeling Wynonna grit on “Tough” and doing a classic-sounding porch-song, “Rockaway (The Rockin’ Chair Song).” On her career best, Pickler has a hand from producers Frank Liddell and Luke Wooten, pulling together an impressive balance of hard-hitters (“Unlock the Honky Tonk,” doing just that) and earnest ballads. One of them, “Mother’s Day,” is a sad rumination on Pickler’s own real-life mom who abandoned her as a kid (for dad: “The Letter”); another, “Long as I Never See You Again,” is emoted with great sensitivity in her pinched vocal style, as a song about post-breakup healing should be. Her greatest vocal turn, however, is on the love-bycomparison title track, further proof that Pickler isn’t just another reality show write-off. She’s done Tammy proud.

Grade: B+

Focus on Lana Del Rey’s enigmatic image and you miss the point: Her major-label debut, Born to Die, is an intoxicating hit of theatrical trip-hop from the seductress of song. Unfairly trashed for a one-off SNL blunder and controversially questioned for her authenticity, the New York chick-turned-polarizing pop star – and self-proclaimed “gangster Nancy Sinatra” – casts a hypnotic spell on the album, a thrilling, death-obsessed sound fever that’s maddening and masochistic. That chill was first realized on throwback “Video Games,” turning her boyfriend’s Nintendo habits into a haunting, and painfully sad, portrait of unrequited love.

Darkness doesn’t let up as Born to Die shakes out: The title track, a favorite, uses morality as an excuse for reckless abandon while her American Dream is crushed on “Blue Jeans,” moving from the art-chic edginess of David Lynch melodramatics to a frantic spin-out climax. Ironically now, she relishes in newfound acceptance (“Radio”), and then has a weakness for a bad boy (“Million Dollar Man”), throws caution to the wind (“Summertime Sadness”) and dreams of a lost love (“Dark Paradise”).

The voice that carries them all, a retro lounge sound that cradles an alluring lower register, is like ear ecstasy. As for Lana Del Rey herself?

The 25-year-old’s been called “fake” and “manufactured,” but the insecurities and fears and heartache she exposes are all very real.

Grade: A-

by Chris Azzopardi

42 | davidatlanta

La Nota Rosa

Midiendola… por Luis Chiruco A quien (hombre) no se le ocurrio alguna vez medir su miembro (pene, pija, pito, fierro, polla, etc)?

Si alguna vez intentaste medirlo, me vas a entender… Es todo un tema como medirlo.

No hay un patron que nos indique como hacerlo…

parte del miembro sin cubrir, la mano que esta en la parte inferior la colocas arriba de la mano que te quedo, intentas flexionar los dedos y los que no puedas doblar daran el tamano del pene en la unidad dedos… (4 4 2, 4 4, 4 4 1, 4 4 3, etc.)

Esto segun yo, pero tambien esta la

1. De que lado se lo mide? Si lo medimos del lado que vemos cuando miramos hacia abajo (lado de frente) es mas corto (mil-metros son mil-metros), en cambio del lado del piso (contrafrente o lado de atras) es un poquito mas largo, de los costados tenemos otra medida.

Con cual de todas nos quedamos? Obvio que con la mas larga…

2. A partir de donde se lo mide? Diras: Desde la base. Pero… cual es la base?

3. Como se mide el ancho? Si pasas una cinta metrica por todo el contorno no es la misma medida que apoyandola y viendo el diametro. Ademas, en todo su largo no tiene el mismo ancho… hay una zona que es mas ancha que otras. Aca tambien nos quedamos con la medida mas grande obviamente…

Hay quienes lo miden con los dedos. Diria un amigo… 4 4 2. Pero… mi mano no es igual a la tuya, ni la tuya igual a la mia.

Y tampoco seria exacta… Siempre queda algo sin cubrir o sobra parte en algun dedo… Este sistema consiste en poner el dedo gordo en la palma de la mano y a los demas apoyarlos sobre el miembro, una mano arriba de la otra, si te queda alguna

posibilidad que cuando te dicen 4 4 2 por ejemplo, hay que poner 8 dedos juntos y eso nos daria el largo, despues poner 2 dedos juntos y eso nos daria el ancho…

Y para ti… Es importante el tamano de tu miembro y/o el de tu pareja , -amiga/o-, amante?… got leche?

davidatlanta | 43

Deep Inside Hollywood Cherry Jones and B.D. Wong are wide Awake It’s always good news when cool, gay character actors – people whose faces you know because they’ve been in a million different things on stage, TV and film, the queer version of “Oh hey, it’s That Guy” – keep on succeeding. And on NBC’s new series Awake (premiering March 1) both Cherry Jones (24) and BD Wong (Law and Order: Special Victims Unit) get theirs. They both play therapists to Jason Isaacs (Lucius Malfoy in those little-seen Harry Potter films), each one determined to convince him that their version of his reality is the truth. Confused?

That’s because Isaacs plays a man who, depending on whether he’s awake or asleep, is living in a reality in which either his wife or his son has been killed in a car accident.

Which no-win situation should he accept as true? And how does this play out over the course of a series? Who knows right now, but In Treatment meets The Twilight Zone is just original and weird enough that it ought to meet your DVR’s programming queue.

Gay(ish) pilot season casting news: the roundup Recently, on the hilarious Happy Endings (which you should be watching, as it boldly allows its gay male character to be both a layabout slob and to make out with guys with no crazy special-episode build up) “Max” (Adam Pally) kissed Jimmy Wolk. Wolk’s name will only be familiar to fans of the cancelled-quickly Lone Star, but the handsome young actor has also just been cast on Greg Berlanti’s (Brothers and Sisters) drama pilot Political Animals.

So here’s hoping it doesn’t get Lone Star’d… Meanwhile, Ellen Barkin has joined the cast of Ryan Murphy and Ali Adler’s comedy pilot The New Normal. She’ll play the mother of a woman who becomes involved as a surrogate for a gay male couple trying to have a baby…

Kevin Bacon will take on the lead role in Kevin Williamson’s still-unnamed pilot about a serial killer using the internet to build a serial-killing cult… And the outcome of a network bidding war sees Portia DeRossi starring in The Smart One for ABC. Produced by DeRossi and Ellen DeGeneres, it’s a comedy concerning an intelligent, successful woman who goes to work for her sister, a former beauty queen who’s now a big-city mayor (and, presumably, not so smart).

Start building your scorecards now; pilot season is a tricky beast to keep track of.

44 | davidatlanta

Jane Lynch, out of the tracksuit Admit it, as much as you appreciate her evil one-liners on Glee, part of you misses the days when Jane Lynch felt more like your own little comedy secret, when she would show up as a surprise supporting character in films like The 40 Year Old Virgin and Julie & Julia. But with the track suit taking up so much of her time lately, we’ve seen less and less of her in feature films, so it’s nice news to report that she’s recently signed on for the indie feature A.C.O.D. Starring alongside Richard Jenkins (Eat Pray Love) and Adam Scott (Parks and Recreation), Lynch will play “Dr. Judith,” a therapist and author – we’re imagining Suze Orman meets Dr. Phil – who’s experiencing a career downturn and takes on Scott as a patient.

Of course, if you can’t wait for that one’s eventual release to see her on the big screen again, you can always bite the bullet and catch her in this spring’s sure-to-be bizarre Farrelly Brothers reboot of The Three Stooges. And no, Lynch doesn’t play Moe.

Matthew Bomer: gay and Normal Welcome to the 137th update on the decades-long gestating movie adaptation of Larry Kramer’s ’80s stage classic The Normal Heart. Now a period piece, the AIDS drama about gay men caught in the wide net of the disease’s first, devastating wave has, as reported earlier, found a director in Ryan Murphy and a cast including the now-officially-publicly-gay (as opposed to everybody-on-the-Internet-knew-he-was-already) White Collar star Matthew Bomer. Joining him for the angry, sorrowful story is Big Bang Theory star (and, for the purposes of this discussion, right now classified as merely probably-maybe-gay because he won’t talk about it) Jim Parsons. And joining them? A powerhouse supporting cast including Julia Roberts, Mark Ruffalo and Alec Baldwin, none of whom have to stumble around the new media glass-closet scenario. Lucky them. And lucky you, the movie will, we hear, finally hit theaters in 2014.

by Romeo San Vicente

46 | davidatlanta

map Bar | Club

1 Amsterdam 3 Blakes on the Park 4 Bliss Atlanta 5 BJ Roosters 6 Bulldogs 7 Burkhart’s Rush 8 Club (formerly Chaparral) 502 Amsterdam Ave. www.amsterdamatlanta.com

227 10th St. www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com 2284 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www.blissofatlanta.com 2345 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www.myspace.com/bjroostersat 893 Peachtree St.

1492 Piedmont Ave. www.burkharts.com

2715 Buford Hwy www.chaparralalternative.com

9 10 Felix’s 11 Friends on Ponce 12 Gilberts 13 Heretic 14 Joe’s on Juniper Eagle

306 Ponce de Leon Ave. www.atlantaeagle.com 1510 Piedmont Ave

736 Ponce de Leon Ave. www.friendsonponce-atl.com 219 10th St. www.gilbertscafe.com

2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www.hereticatlanta.com 1049 Juniper St www.joesonjuniper.com

48 | davidatlanta

15 Jungle 16 LeBuzz 17 Las Margaritas 18 Mary’s 19 Mixx 20 Model T’s 21 My Sisters Room 22 Opus 1 23 Oscars Atlanta 24 Swinging Richards 25 The Cockpit 2115 Faulkner Rd. www.jungleclubatlanta.com

585 Franklin Rd SE # A-10 www.thenewlebuzz.com 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www.lasmargaritasmidtown.com 1287 Glenwood Ave. www.marysatlanta.com

1492 Piedmont Ave - B www.mixxatlanta.com

699 Ponce De Leon Ave NE #11. www.modeltatlanta.com 1271 Glenwood Ave www.mysistersroom.com 1086 Alco St.

1510 Piedmont Ave NE www.oscarsatlanta.com 1400 Northside Dr. www.swingingrichards.com 465 Boulevard Ave www.thecockpit-atlanta. blogspot.com

26 The Hideaway

1544 Piedmont Rd NE, Suite 124. www.atlantahideaway. com

27 28 Woofs Tripps

1931 Piedmont Circle www.trippsatlanta.com 2425 Piedmont Rd NE www.woofsatlanta.com

29 91 / Mengos 38 Daiquiri Factory

91 Broad St NW, 30303

889 W. Peachtree St., 30309 • facebook.com/pages/ The-Daiquiri-Factory

39 XS Ultra Lounge

708 Spring St., 30308 www.traxxatlanta.com

Gym | Spa

30 Flex

76 4th St. www.flexbaths.com

31 Gravity Fitness 2201 Faulkner Rd www.gravityatl.com

32 Manifest4U

2103 Faulkner Road www.manifest4u.org

Retail

9 Rawhide Leather 33 Brushstrokes/ Capulets

at the Eagle. 404.881.0031

1510 Piedmont Ave. www.brushstrokesatlanta.com

34 Boy Next Door Nights 37 Southern Videos 1447 Piedmont Rd. www.boynextdoor.biz

2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www.southernnights.com

map | BARTAB

calendar MONDAY BLAKES ON THE PARK

Manic Monday (retro night 70’s, 80’s, & 90’s) 10pm

THE EAGLE Comedy TV- Free Pool FRIENDS ON PONCE

Bad Boy Brian opens at 2pm

HERETIC Industry Night, No Cover!

WEDNESDAY BLAKES ON THE PARK

Feathers & Flesh Burlesque Revue 11pm

THE EAGLE 80’s Music with Travis FRIENDS ON PONCE Team Trivia 8pm HERETIC H.U.M.P. Dress Code Party w/DJ Lydia Prim. 25¢ Keystone Light Draft all night long. No Cover!

JUNGLE Stars of the Century Show 11pm

SWINGING RICHARDS 2-4-1 VIP Room

THE HIDEAWAY $2.50 Domestic Beer

THE HIDEAWAY Craps & Blackjack with

FELIX’S Free Pool THE COCKPIT Big Red Cup Mondays All Day & 1/2 Price Appetizers 5-8pm

MODEL T’S Wheel of ? with Elvis 9pm

TUESDAY BLAKES ON THE PARK I Gotta Sing!

Hosted by Jealose & Jerry (Karaoke) 11pm

THE EAGLE Tuesdays with Tony FRIENDS ON PONCE

Let’s Make a Deal 6pm

HERETIC Free Line Dance Lessons 8-9pm Country Dance 9-11pm. No Cover!

SWINGING RICHARDS

No Cover Before Midnight, $5 After

THE HIDEAWAY

Service Industry Night - Employee Prices. Trivia w/ Will 9pm - 11pm

FELIX’S Smirnoff Martini Night THE COCKPIT DUDE: 80s Party, 9pm & 1/2 Price Appetizers 5-8pm

CHAPARRAL HipHop til 4am, $5 MODEL T’S Texas Hold’em Poker 9:30pm

52 | davidatlanta

Miss Lauren

THE COCKPIT

Balls Deep Karaoke, 10pm with Mikey and Wesley &1/2 Price Appetizers 5-8pm

MODEL T’S Virtually Famous Karaoke with Pat & Tina 10pm

XCESS ULTRA LOUNGE/TRAXX

Raquell Lord’s The Main Event Talent Show @ 10:30pm, Sign Up by 9:45pm.

Also Sophia Mcintosh & The Fabulous 5 +1 @11:30pm, 18+

THURSDAY

SATURDAY

BLAKES ON THE PARK

BLAKES ON THE PARK

Texas Hold’Em Poker 7pm, The Shawna Factor Show, 11pm

Jealose’s Daring Diva’s Show 11pm

THE EAGLE DJ Dance Party

THE EAGLE Karaoke with Mikey FRIENDS ON PONCE Where Girls Who Like Girls Meet Girls all night

HERETIC 3 Legged Cowboy Night 9pm. Free Dance Lessons 8-9pm. No Cover!

FRIENDS ON PONCE

Open @ noon with Bob Brewer

HERETIC Varies: Club Night or 3 Legged Cowboy Night - 10pm

JUNGLE Club Night, Various Guest DJ’s.

JUNGLE Cherry Pop Thursday!

SWINGING RICHARDS

LAS MARGARITAS

T-Shirt Review, $10 Cover

Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30pm

FELIX’S Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm

SWINGING RICHARDS

2-4-1 VIP Room & 2-4-1 Door Entry

THE HIDEAWAY Levi & Leather Night FELIX’S Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm THE COCKPIT

Dirty Boy Bingo, 9pm w/ Ruby Redd

MODEL T’S Wheel of ? with Micheal 9pm XCESS ULTRA LOUNGE/TRAXX

THE COCKPIT Rotating VJ’s & DJ’s, (resident DJ, Diablo Rojo)

SWINGING RICHARDS

T-Shirt Review, $10 Cover

CHAPARRAL Dance Party FELIX’S Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm THE COCKPIT Rotating VJ’s & DJ’s, (resident DJ, Diablo Rojo)

Turnt Up Thursday, No Cover, Hip Hop, Rnb & Reggae

MODEL T’S Sexy & Know it Party 9pm CHAPARRAL DJ Jay McKracken, $5 XCESS ULTRA LOUNGE/TRAXX

FRIDAY

Man 2 Man, Free 4 Men 25+ B4 12am

BLAKES ON THE PARK

SUNDAY

Kitty LeClaw’s Meow Mix Show 11pm

THE EAGLE DJ Dance Party

BLAKES ON THE PARK

FRIENDS ON PONCE

Happy Times with Bad Boy Brian & Ken

Old School Sundays with DJ Bill Berdeaux 3pm-7pm, DJ Darryl Cox 7pm-close

HERETIC HiNRG Dance with DJ Lydia Prim,

FRIENDS ON PONCE Bad Boy Brian’s

JUNGLE Club Night, Various DJ’s

LAS MARGARITAS

10pm. No Cover!

Smirnoff B Mary Bar 12:30pm

All You Can Eat Brunch 11am-3pm

SWINGING RICHARDS

THE HIDEAWAY

T-Shirt Review, $10 Cover

CHAPARRAL Got Leche? til 4am, $10 THE HIDEAWAY

Make Your Own Bloody Mary Bar 12:30pm

FELIX’S

Bloody Mary & Mimosa Wallet Pleasers

After Work Martini Madness

THE COCKPIT

FELIX’S Bartenders Serve It Up!

PBR Beer Bust -- Open & Pouring

THE COCKPIT Rotating VJ’s & DJ’s, (resident DJ, Diablo Rojo)

MODEL T’S Morning Bagels / Texas Hold’em

MODEL T’S Sunday Dinner with Ron 3:30pm CHAPARRAL Hip Hop w DJ Truz, no cover

Poker 9:30pm

calendar | BARTAB

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FULL BODY/SWEDISH MASSAGE $40 first timers (Shaving) Piedmont Park @ 10th Great Studio 404.872.5671 License - MT #003122

To place an ad email classifieds@davidatlanta.com

54 | davidatlanta

davidatlanta | 55

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davidatlanta | 59

FairyScopes

ARIES (March 20 – April 19): Relationships are hard work, and work consists largely of managing hard relationships.

Staying calm, focused and cooperative on the task ahead is a real challenge. Keep faultfinding to yourself; be mature, stoic and farsighted. It will get easier next week.

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20): Friends can feel like they’re more trouble than they’re worth. That’s when it’s time to go hide and relax. Social obligations at work can be especially difficult. Prioritize; do what you must and save time to recharge your batteries.

GEMINI (May 21- June 20): You could figure out a way to make the impossible work with a balance of inspiration and practicality. That crazy idea that comes out of nowhere could be the key. Test it before you commit, but at least check it out.

CANCER (June 21- July 22): New ideas and situations can be overwhelming, even confusing. Resist temptation to retreat into quiet, familiar escapes. Push through the fog. Not only can you rise to the occasion, but you will find the effort rewarding.

LEO (July 23 – August 22): Efforts to smooth over problems will backfire big time. Face the music and deal with it.

Rather than using your charm to sweep things under the rug, put that sunshine to work rallying support for a real solution.

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22): Even the best intended advice, especially if it is from your partner or about your relationship, can go very wrong. Pay attention and receive it politely. If it sounds like a good idea, consider it very carefully before acting on it.

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22): Don’t take anything for granted. It may seem tedious work to spell out all the little details, but it is worth the trouble. The less you boast of your experience and confidence, the more attractive they will make you.

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21): Some of your friends aren’t really. Losing them without creating trouble can be challenging. Be gentle and polite. If they accuse you of being overly-critical, smile agreeably. That’s just a harsh way of saying you have higher standards.

Scopes brought to you by Jack Fertig, professional astrologer since 1977. Visit his website at www.starjack.com.

60 | davidatlanta

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 20): You’re on a power surge for a couple of weeks. It could build momentum at work and push you into a better job. If you are considering any big risks with your work, this is the time to take them, but think ahead!

CAPRICORN (December 21 – January 19): Your goals are becoming more realistic, but you still need clarification and to get your ego out of the way. Negatives overshadow the issue now. Bring those to light; get them out of the way. Soon you’ll see the positives more clearly.

AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18): Your love of a good argument can get you into big trouble. Seriously, this time it could cost you. Be restrained and pragmatic; keep your ears open. Elicit information, but don’t contradict. You could learn something very useful, even profitable.

PISCES (February 19 – March 19): A lover’s spat can become a major disaster.

Perhaps you are being too critical. Focus on being a better partner. That might mean allowing a bit of space, being less co-ependent. Enjoy your birthday, but impulse spending would prove surprisingly expensive.

Bitch! Session

I promise your opinion of me now will have no effect on me tomorrow.

Now shoo, fairy.

I have always been hot...

You finally opened your eyes and looked!

She won how many Grammys? Ok, I’m officially sure Adele is a witch. Set fire to the stake ho! Lol #stilllike-her Why even bother calling 911 for an emergency, because you get put on hold for 10-15 minutes anyways. Thanks City of Atlanta!

If you’re not going to be friends with me because I won’t sleep with you, then you were never worthy of my friendship – or my ass – in the first place.

To the bear dancing with your shirt off that knocked my drink out my hand and kept going, sorry for accidently setting your back hair on fire later with my lighter.

Stop trying to be a $20,000 millionaire!

Gotta Bitch?

Text 404.969.BTCH aka 404.969.2824 or email

bitch@davidatlanta.com 62 | davidatlanta

Find it amusing that a bar would allow underage people in, and if that’s not enough within itself they’re front and center ordering cheap bottles of champagne!

Last time I checked, iron-on shirts were not couture.

Stop coming into my bar and expecting free drinks – I don’t care if we are friends, I don’t owe you anything… especially not my job.

I find it incredibly rude when you take somebody to dinner and they order the most expensive thing on the menu, and 4 drinks.

Don’t be sorry for Whitney be mad at Bobby. He is a waste of space and oxygen on this planet. The day he dies there will be a celebration, one less dumb-ass to deal with.

There’s a fine line between smartass and dumbass and you’re standing on it.

One day you will understand why I went out of my way to make you hate me, I’d rather you hate me then go through the pain of watching me get sicker, blaming yourself and then having to bury me. Maybe I went to far, but I will always love you my frog.