David Magazine | Atlanta Issue 635

March 16, 2011

Issue 635

Hedda Lettuce Queen of Green

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The Brent Star Report Bubba D. Licious 22 Years of Fun and Fundraising!

O

k readers, pull out your Bingo sheets, Bubba just called out “S7” as in Starbucks off of 7th street near Bulldogs. That’s where we agreed to meet. I’m excited to meet one of my favorite emcees in this city, the legendary Bubba D. Licious! The first damn thang I wanted to know was WHERE did she get that name from? As she pulled out a bottle of coke from her bag (“well sorry Brent but Starbucks only sells Pepsi”), she told me about the time she was on the softball team for the Armory (back in 1899…no, I meant 1989) and how each player had to do drag once. It was her time and she needed a name. Her then roommate told her “well my drag name was “Trisha Licious”) and it just happens that Bubba was chewing bubba gum (light bulb moment), “You know, I’ll just call myself “Bubblicious”, she thought! The “D” was added later for legal purposes b/c the Bubblicious gum folks actually sent her a “cease to exist” letter forcing her to change her name. Just like the gum though, Bubba is full of fun and she’s also known for raising money for charities either during her shows or through her well known Bingo gigs. Speaking of which, she’s about to call out another number. “A1”. A as in the Armorettes, the successful camp drag group she joined that started it all.

Brent: How did you become an Armorette, the multi million fun raising organization?

Bubba: Originally, I had no intentions whatsoever to become one.

Around the same time when I finally decided to do drag for the softball team, the Armorettes also decided to hold auditions (before, they just selected the girls). After they saw my number, I was chosen. My dress was made of bubble gum rappers and my white pumps were covered in chewed psychedelic colored bubba gum. Of course it dried by time I went on stage.

Brent: Too funny and cute. Which entertainer was your biggest influence back then?

Bubba: Um, I will have to say my influence for doing the campy comedy was Maytag, a very popular Armorette of the day. This was probably before your time. Hell, I remember when this Starbucks was a hamburger place, called Krystals, and of course that condo next door was Backstreets. And next to Backstreets was the Armory where Maytag and I designed the showroom. I remember when we used to run in to host the show a quarter to nine (on Sundays) and throw on some lip stick, wig and no panty hose, no shaved legs…But it was never about what we looked like but what we said once we got on those mics. That 14 davidatlanta

was back in the day when folks would line up 2 hours before the show just to get in. We haven’t had that kind of entertainment in 15 yrs, but of course neither has the Armory. I miss that place.

Brent: So you and Maytag were like a team?

Bubba: Yea and we were the only emcees. Later we became best friends. To us, it was like we shared ‘one mind’ because of how well we played off each other and pretty much completed each other’s sentences.

We never rehearsed or planned what we were gonna talk about and ppl loved our adlib. The whole cast was good back in the day. Today they’re still raising a lot of money and I hear they’re back at Burkharts on Sundays.

Brent: Yep. So after the Armory closed, you retired from the Armorettes after 12 years. What did you do next?

Bubba: The next number I’m pulling up is “N10 ” as in Nikimotos on 10th street. As soon as I retired, I started getting phone calls. And Nikimots wanted me to be the host of their drag show, ‘Dragamaki’. It was the first show where I got paid for hosting. Before it was all for charity.

Bubba’s now charity of choice is P.A.L.S. in which she’s been raising money for the last 15 years. It’s a group that aid the pets of ppl living with HIV/AIDS or other terminal illness. Through this group, Bubba has raised money in all kinds of fun ways like hosting a fundraiser cruise trip, selling Bubba’ merchandise like her famous bobble heads—(complete with her pearls, mini beer bottle in one hand and mic in the other), but her favorite gig with them is BINGO! You can now catch her every 2nd Wednesday at the Jungle.

Brent: So where else can we catch you these days?

Bubba: Las Margaritas on Mondays for the Dragamundo show. It’s been going really well. Queen Latifah was in the audience a few weeks ago and you can be our special guest next time.

I had fun doing this interview and it was educational for me. I love your work Bubba! Until next week, don’t read the girls, instead read The Brent Star Report!

Where to catch Brent Star: Mondays at Einsteins (with RuPaul’s contestants Nicole Paige Brooks of season 2 and Mariah Paris Balenciaga of season 3), Saturdays at Tijuana Garage Thursdays and Sundays once a month at Burkharts and everywhere else that pays! www.facebook.com/Mr.BrentStar

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W Midtown - Tabatha

Photos by Torren, Jesse, and Steve.

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Question

Ask Momma Mona Dear Momma Mona,

I recognize the sociologist in you! Sociology was one of my more interesting classes in college. I had not thought about “the sociological lens” in quite some time, but glad to be reminded that our experiences and placement in life really do color how we perceive everything. I rejected my “placement” from an upper class home in Manhattan for really stupid reasons --- in retrospect. I was rebellious, angry, and wanted to show my dad…..something. Wasn’t sure what, but I was just really angry. I hated my dad. I hated everything about him. He only visited a few times a year over dinner and seemed to be pushing me to be tougher the few times he was around. I knew he would never accept me, so I felt righteous in taking all I could for as long as I could. I even took a tour of Europe for over a year between degrees. He had divorced my mom within the first few years when I was only two. She says he has always been good to her and to me and used to shame me into being polite during our two or three dinners a year.

My dad is gay!

I won’t go into any details, but it was in the local newspapers, which is how I found out. That really changed my perspective! To what, I’m still not clear, but I’ve been so stunned that I’ve been deplete of emotion. Here I’ve hidden from him, so sure he would reject me and judge me and he’s been gay all along!

CLORIS!

A One Woman Show

So here’s the Momma Mona question: Should I reach out to him and if so, how? We’ve not been in physical contact for about 10 years, counting the past year.

Gay Shocked

Answer

Now here’s the part that will blow your mind ------ my dad is gay!! I just found out about four-months ago and I’m 38!

Dear Gay Shocked,

Quite ironic, wouldn’t you say?!? So this puts your dad’s age at around 60-ish?

Let’s think about this.

You are from an upper class family position, which probably means your dad was from an upper class family. Upper class begets upper class. He may or may not have had it worse than you in feeling a need to hide the fact that he is gay. Or, given his position in life and the historically negative time towards gays, maybe he had suppressed his true identity and it simply took him until later in life to come out. Meredith Baxter the movie star mom did not come out until her mid50s and claims to not have even realized it. Also, the upper class has a different value system in that as long as one is discreet in their personal affairs, all is well. I could offer all types of projections of what could have happened.

From your letter, you write very well. Perhaps you could write your dad a letter stating how you found out and that you want to reach out to him. If you’ve not come out to him, now would be a very easy time to do so. Plan to meet. If he is still in Manhattan, ask if you could come visit for a day or two. Or invite him to Atlanta. You could even say you will be in New York on business and would like to meet for lunch or dinner.

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With your dad having “your story”, it may make it easier for him to share his story. You two have quite a bit of catching up to do!

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Keeping Grounded with the Queen of Green Jungle Club goes green this month. Not just because of St. Patrick’s Day, but to welcome the fabulously talented Hedda Lettuce, who is visiting Atlanta to perform for the first time. The “Queen of Green” brings her show Saturday, March 26 at 8:00 p.m.

“It’s a fresh, crisp, exciting stand-up comedy show with live singing,” said Hedda. “One of my best skills is improvisation with the audience. You know how the famous psychic John Edward can read an audience?

I’m sort of the John Edward of comedy.”

Hedda, a drag superstar for over twenty years, said she has learned what it takes to entertain a crowd.

“I can figure things out about people during my shows,” said Hedda. “There is a lot of serendipity that happens.

It’s interesting and fascinating what I learn. I like people and love talking with people. When I’m doing that, the jokes just sort of organically happen. To me it’s more interesting than just telling joke after joke after joke. Every show is a little different, which is what makes it great, for me especially. It also kind of scares me because I never know what’s going to happen.”

By Jesse A. Hancock

David: How do you like Atlanta? We are pretty proud of our drag entertainers here.

Hedda: I’ve never been to Atlanta. I know it’s really a bustling community. I know a queen from Atlanta, Charlie Brown. I met her about fifteen years ago, and she was wonderful. I was performing at a club one night and remember when she came in.

She was all done up with all this jewelry. She took a liking to me and actually took one of the rings off her fingers and gave it to me. I had it for a very long time. I don’t know what happened to it though. I may have lost it. Who knows? If you’re around drag queens enough, you never know what’s going to happen. Someone probably stole it.

David: What inspired you to create Hedda Lettuce?

Hedda: I started doing drag as part of my community activism many years ago. There was an organization called Queer Nation. I started in street theater. We would go to Sheraton Square with a boom box and a sheet to change behind. This other drag queen and I would do sloppy lip sync numbers and put a can out in Steven Polito, the New York actor who plays Hedda, front to collect tips for the organization. Occasionally, debuted his character in 1991 on The Brenda and people threw cigarette butts at us, but on the whole it Glennda Show in Manhattan, NY. Since then Hedda has was a good experience. appeared alongside such stars Sarah Jessica Parker and Madonna on television shows like Project Runway, Sex David: How did u come up with the name ‘Hedda and the City, 20/20 with Barbara Walters, The MTV Lettuce?’

Movie Awards, The Dave Chapelle Show, and Oprah.

Hedda: As a performer, I’ve always been known as Her film appearances include The Look, Thanks for Hedda Lettuce. I live in New York City. When I started Everything! Julie Newmar, and Too Wong Foo. doing drag, a lot of people had sort of play-on-words Hedda uses her actual singing voice rather than lip- names that meant something else but sounded like syncing, which is rare for drag queens. She is “a self- women’s names, like Diana Cancer. She was great. One proclaimed gay man who dresses in drag.” Hedda is time I had a dream and the name Hedda Lettuce came also a frequent guest and co-host on The Derek and up. I told my fag hag girlfriend at the time about it, and Romaine Show, which airs on Sirius XM Satellite she said, ‘Ugh, that name stinks.’ I said, ‘It may stink, but it’s catchy.’ I stuck with it. It appeals to straight and Radio’s OutQ Channel. gay people.

David: Working with a charity for each of your David: You’re right. You need a catchy name to shows is generous. Why do you do it? stand out among so many performers out there.

Hedda: I’ve been going to different places for a while.

I was in Orlando, then Hudson, NY, then Asbury Hedda: A lot of the girls I know in the South pick these Park and San Francisco. Now I’m coming to Atlanta, girly names like ‘Sophia Dynasty’ or ‘Alexis Cartier.’ I then Boston. I am enjoying finding a local charity to don’t mean to disparage them, but I have no desire to be work with at each show, which I started doing in San known as something like Alexis Cartier. Besides, I’m Francisco. When I go to different places, I want to not trying to pass as a real woman. A lot of queens are. feel more part of the community, not just show up as I’m attractive, but I’m definitely a character. I wear a performer and take people’s money. In San Francisco green hair on my head. That was another transition I auctioned off the wig from my head at the end of in my career, by the way. I was working years ago the show and raised $1,000 for GLAAD, the Gay and in Provincetown. Part of the culture there is to Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. At the end of be on the street handing out fliers before your the show, I just put the wig in a box and handed it show. There are a lot of queens on the street. over. On the second night I did this, the person who There are usually a sea of blondes and red won the auction came onstage and said he bought it for heads. I thought, how am I going to stand his mother who was suffering from cancer. He wanted out? Since my name is Hedda Lettuce, to make her laugh during this heavy time in her life. I thought I really should try the In Tampa I raised $1,200 for a local guy with cancer. green hair. Now I work in some For this auction in Atlanta, I’m donating the money to eco-friendly jokes into my act.

I kind of mock it, but Joining Hearts.

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Being a drag entertainer is one of the hardest yet most enjoyable professions out there, but when you are playing with gender it’s dangerous. You have to be very grounded to do it. make it light-hearted. I do this often on my bi-weekly radio segment on The Derek and Romaine Show. It’s every other Wednesday, and it’s the ‘Queen of Green’ segment.

David: What are some common misconceptions about drag queens?

Hedda: I don’t think those misconceptions are all untrue. Most queens are thieves, liars, and alcoholics.

It’s part of the pitfalls of being a starlet on the stage.

A lot of the stereotypes are true in different doses and with different performers. It hits every queen in varying degrees because it’s a very intense industry. I happen to think being a drag entertainer is one of the hardest yet most enjoyable professions out there, but when you are playing with gender it’s dangerous. You have to be very grounded to do it. It’s a job, and now that I’ve done it a while I don’t blend it into my personal life. It’s like being a plumber. I wish I was a plumber at times so I could fix my sink.

David: What are some common misconceptions about you?

Hedda: I don’t think there are any. Whatever people think about me is probably true. I think I have a very mixed reputation with other drag queens. A lot of them are just unhappy because they’re fat and don’t have good bone structure. People are haters.

David: So you have had no work done? No plastic surgery?

Hedda: No, you can do everything with makeup. I don’t understand these girls who go under the knife and come out with these faces that look like pincushions.

You can do all that with makeup. When I take my makeup off, I want to be approachable. I want the audience and people to feel comfortable with me.

David: As a drag queen, how do you perform comedy without coming across as too bitchy?

Hedda: There’s a fine line when you are talking with the audience between being bitchy and being funny. A lot of queens cross over to being bitchy. Being funny is 28 davidatlanta

a skill that you have to hone. I want people to like me in the end, even if I’m making fun of them.

David: Why haven’t we seen you on RuPaul’s Drag Race? You’d be perfect! Did you really audition?

Hedda: I never auditioned. What happened was, when that show came out, it was a publicity stunt for me. As an entertainer you have to keep your name out there. It doesn’t matter if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. If you are being talked about, it’s a good thing Unless you’ve committed a major crime or you are a serial killer, although I still think you can manage to turn even that around into a very illustrious career as well. So, it kept my name out there. A lot of people who didn’t know who I was suddenly did. It was a win/win situation. I never thought the producers would pick me. I was told I was already ‘too well established’ and ‘not what they were looking for.’ I think what they are looking for are gutter snipes, the kind of girls you’d be afraid to be caught with in a dark alley, the kind of girls who would have shanks in their weaves. Ultimately, the show is great, but I don’t think it’s a good representation of the drag community. Sadly, a lot of those girls don’t have an act. What they are promoting is being a mannequin, looking good in makeup. Drag is a profession that gets better as you get older. The more you do it, the more seasoned you become and the more comfortable you are. RuPaul’s Drag Race is good for keeping drag out there. What makes good reality television, interestingly, is having people who are slightly unhinged and volatile.

That’s what people want to see, the negative. When I look at a lot of the girls in the show, I expect to see their sex ads in the back of the Village Voice saying, ‘I have triple Ds and a 10-inch fully functional cock.’

They are great for tranny prostitution. You know what, that’s where the real money is. Perhaps I should have gotten into that when I could have.

David: What do your family and friends think of your career as Hedda?

Hedda: Everyone’s very supportive. I talk to my father, and we go over jokes on the phone. My brothers are very open about it. My friends are, too. I don’t have any obstacles in terms of family and friends. I’ve been out since I was sixteen. Back then it was just too much and I couldn’t take it anymore. Straight people, in general, are being more exposed to gay people these days. It’s part of their vernacular and part of their collective consciousness. I don’t know how it is in smaller communities, but even in New York City there are a bunch of douche bags. With this progressive city we have, you’d think gay marriage would be accepted. Most of New York State is full of a bunch of bumblefuck conservative idiots. When we live in big cities like Atlanta, New York, Chicago and Miami, we get accustomed to gay people being accepted, but we have to realize that most gay people don’t live in places like that. Most gay people don’t live in places where they can openly hold hands. Their experiences are very different. I think gay people shouldn’t have to leave their family, friends and hometowns, but if they aren’t happy they should get the fuck out. Unfortunately, the places where they can go to feel more comfortable are much more expensive.

David: You’ve appeared in movies and on lots of TV shows like Ugly Betty and The Tyra Banks Show.

What have you done recently, and what is most memorable?

Hedda Lettuce Live

- 8:00 p.m. Saturday March 26, 2011 - Jungle Club Atlanta, 2115 Faulkner Rd., Atlanta, GA 30324 Hedda: I just did a show on Logo called ‘Dragtastic,’ - Hilarious one-woman stand-up comedy a drag queen stand-up comedy show, which was fun. I show, live singing also just filmed a movie airing in Miami in April called - Hosted by Eve Michaels with special ‘Go Go Crazy,’ where I play the matron of this club in performances by Fajita Marinara, Gunza Blazin, Philadelphia holding a go-go contest. Sort of like ‘Best and Bubba D. Licious in Show’ for gay people. It’s an improvisational film - For advance tickets, go to www.JungleClubAtlanta. with a structure. I was also onstage with Madonna for the MTV Music Awards. I’ve ended up meeting many - Limited amount of VIP tables available for $100 (includes four tickets, VIP seats, and four cocktails) idols that I wanted to meet as a kid because of my career. I met Cher and Bette Midler, who signed my - After the show, Hedda will auction off her wig to raise funds for Joining Hearts, dedicated to providing housing ass on my skirt. I also met Carol Channing and Arianna support to people living with HIV and AIDS in Atlanta Huffington and a bunch of crazy people. I also worked with Laura Branigan before she died. It was very sad.

She was working on a comeback. I always loved her song, ‘Gloria.’

David: How do you like movie and television acting as opposed to performing live?

Hedda: The thing about stand-up is you have to keep the energy going. You are the focus. I leave a lot to chance with my stuff. When I’m doing my crowd work, I have to listen more intently so I can respond fast and create a joke out of nothing. When you work with an ensemble cast, the weight is not on your shoulders as much, which is wonderful sometimes. You just memorize your lines, go in, and perform them.

David: What happened with Project Runway?

Hedda: Oh, that was a hoot! I was definitely opinionated and had my own ideas about what should have been happening with my outfit. The designers were not giving me what I wanted, but they thought they were. I’ve made up with Suede since then, and we see each other occasionally and we are very

friendly with each other, but he didn’t acknowledge me for a year or two after that. I also like that my name, after my experience on the show, became an adjective for a difficult client. I definitely made an impression, which is really hard to do when you are only shooting one day and you are with twelve other drag queens.

David: What’s next for you, other than the tour?

Hedda: There’s a good chance I’ll be doing a play in New York, but I can’t talk about it yet. Until it’s happening, it ain’t happening. I’m also working on building up my charity work. I’m staying close to home this summer and working in Asbury Park, a burgeoning gay Mecca, instead of going to Provincetown, which I’ve been doing for seven years. I just need a break from Provincetown. I’m also writing a book, kind of a David Sedaris-style humorous autobiography.

David: Is there anything else you’d like David Magazine readers to know about you?

Hedda: I’d love for David Magazine readers to watch my parody videos and read my blog, which I do almost every day. It’s at www.heddalettuce.com. Send me a message, say hi. I’m also on Facebook and Twitter at @heddalettucenyc. davidatlanta 29

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By Luis Chiruco

LEA T

e nombre original Leandro, Lea T es la hija reconocida del jugador de futbol brasileño Toninho Cerezo, integrante de la selección de futbol que brilló en 1982, quien además ha declarado que apoya su carrera y su elección.

La modelo transexual Lea T se ha hecho famosa por participar en las campañas de Givenchy o Jean Paul Gaultier, además de haber acaparado portadas en las revistas de moda más importantes. A raíz de su reciente fama le han hecho una entrevista en la que ha hablado de lo importante que es para ella que se sepa que es transexual.

Parece ser que Riccardo Tisci, el diseñador de Givenchy que le dio su primer trabajo como modelo, le dio la opción de no mencionar que era transexual, pero Lea T se opuso tajantemente, ella lo ha explicado así: Él me dijo, “¿Estas segura? Te lo pregunto porque tengo que hablar sobre la campaña, quiero saber si tú… si tú quieres… qué es lo que tengo que decir ¿Quieres que diga que eres una chica?” Yo dije “No no no. Lo primero que quiero que digas es que soy

transexual. Esto es lo más importante.

Por cierto, Lea T aparecerá en uno de los últimos programas de Oprah de esta temporada, que también será la última. La aparición de Lea con Oprah puede catapultar su fama más allá de los circuitos de la moda.

A ver si hay suerte Lea T está consiguiendo hacerse un hueco en el mundo de las modelos, algo sumamente importante para la visibilidad y la normalización del hecho transexual.

La modelo Lea T y Kate Moss han protagonizado un beso lésbico en la portada de la revista inglesa de moda Love.

Evidentemente se trata de una portada provocativa pero no exenta de sentido puesto que este número de Love está dedicado a la androginia y ese beso lésbico resulta sugerente y explícito a partes iguales.. excelente trabajo el de nuestra amiga Lea ... felicidades ya necesitabamos a alguien asi de la comunidad...

...got leche?

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Datebook

Now Through March 23, 2011

THURSDAY, March 17

Drag Show at Burkharts Happy St. Patrick’s Day from 11:30 p.m. Come have fun at one of Atlanta’s popular drag show locations every Friday and the staff at David Magazine! most Saturday nights at 1492 Piedmont Rd. This is a one-

of-a-kind show with Alicia Kelly, Angelica De Paige, Ashley Kruiz, Regina Ryan, Savannah Leigh and more. Always a great time! Be sure to pick up a free raffle ticket at the front door for a chance to win a $100 gift card.

Drag Show at Tijuana Garage 10:30 p.m. Come on over to Little 5 Points for

some margaritas, nachos and the spiciest drag shows in town. Performers include Brent Starr, Chynna Fox, Envy Van Michael, and the Glamazons. 351 Moreland Ave. Get there early to get a seat.

SUNDAY, March 20 Life Is A Cabaret SATURDAY, March 19 8:00 p.m. “Cabaret,” the famous musical, comes Peter Pan ONSTAGE to Jungle Club with a twist. Thursday and Friday nights plus Saturday afternoon matinees through March 7:30 p.m. Last weekend to see Peter Pan LIVE 26 with local drag favorites in the chorus! Featuring Tony Smithey, Meredith Campbell, David Azzarello, Annie Cook, Brian Dunlap, Glenda Tibbals Gray, and Marybeth Morrison. Cabaret Girls: Katie O’Neil, Rebecca Pino, Courtney Loner, and Amanda Hardy; The Kit Kat Girls feature: Flaming Sugarbaker Sisters, Armorettes and Eve Michaels. Limited seating, nonsmoking. $20 tickets include a $5 drink voucher.

Doors and bar open one hour before show time. For advance tickets, go to www.jungleclubatlanta.com.

Party with the Fashionistas 11:30 p.m. Burkharts, 1492-F Piedmont Rd.

onstage (through March 20, 2011) at Pemberton Place, 121 Baker Street, adjacent to the World of Coca Cola.

360 presents J.M. Barrie’s Peter Pan, featuring 22 actors, stunning puppets, epic music, and dazzling flying sequencing surrounded by breathtaking video projection that flies both cast and audience over Edwardian London. This spectacular new stage production of J.M. Barrie’s classic story is performed in a state-of-the-art theatre pavilion. Experience the world’s first fully 360-degree projected movie for live theatre. Tickets start at $35. Call the Peter Pan Box Office 1-888-PPANTIX or visit http://www. peterpantheshow.com/venues/atlanta.

Princess Charles hosts this night and it features his cast of Fashionistas. Get ready to enjoy the show, Princess Charles’ style.

revenge tragedy and part feminist power ballad. Set in the lush North Georgia Mountains, the ever-sweet Nan finally tips the story on her abusive husband, Kyle, and takes back her life. With a deep love of Jimmy Carter, her gay best buddy, a stripper, and one violent Shakespearean stage direction, it ain’t over till the bears are in pursuit. A world premiere revenge comedy by Lauren Gunderson. Through March 27.

Tickets $23. For advance tickets and more information, go to www.synchrotheatre.com.

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Attend one of Atlanta’s many gay or gay friendly churches. Some of these churches include: St. Bartholomew Episcopal Church, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Atlanta, St. Mark United Methodist Church, and First MCC of Atlanta. Check websites for times, locations, and more information.

Cloris Leachman at Buckhead Theater 8:00 p.m.

When audiences think of Cloris Leachman, they often think of her hilarious role on “Raising Hope,” her performance on “Dancing With The Stars” or her zany, self-centered character, Phyllis, on the “Mary Tyler Moore Show.” These roles and characters are only a small portion of what makes Cloris one of the most iconic entertainers. She paints a picture of years gone by in “Cloris! A One Woman Show.”

The Buckhead Theater is located at 3110 Roswell Rd. Ticket prices range from $30 to $75 and may be purchased in advance at www.thebuckheadtheatre. com.

Sashay, Shaunte!

9:00 p.m. Come watch this

week’s episode of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” with Atlanta contestant #1 Phoenix at Blake’s On the Park. Or head over to Einstein’s on Juniper to watch with Atlanta contestant #2 Mariah Balenciaga. Either way, you are bound to have a fun time. This is a weekly event during this season of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” on Logo.

TUESDAY, March 22

Papi’s Brunch Buffet at Las Atlanta Philharmonic Margaritas Rehearsal 11:00 a.m. Gay brunch at Las Margaritas. Join 7:30 p.m. The Atlanta Philharmonic Orchestra, Papi’s Brunch at 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE with music powered by DJ Karlitos. Eggs and omelets cooked to order any style and an all-you-can-eat buffet, $10.95. Drink up with specials on champagne mamacitas, margarita twisters, and Bloody Marias.

Ends at 4:00 p.m.

Project Prom Fundraiser 5:00 p.m. Project Prom is a cocktail

FRIDAY, March 18 “Exit, Pursued By a Bear” at 7 Stages 8:00 p.m. Part “I Love Lucy,” part Jacobean

Church Services

Nickiemoto’s to Las Margaritas, 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd., and is now called “Dragamundo.” Each Monday night, Bubba welcomes a new house, a new cast and a new concept, including special guests each week and, of course, more cha-cha-cha. Enjoy $2 Tacos.

party featuring a runway fashion show. It will take place at The W Midtown, 188 14th Street NE. Help bring Georgia’s underprivileged teens prom dreams to life. Hosted by radio and television personality Holly Firfer, and partnering with fashion designers Vincent Martinez, Jason Bunin and Karron English, along with Grady High School’s Urban Couture Program, Becca’s Closet and Authentic Beauty. After the event, all of the fashion creations will be donated to high school students who might not have had a prom without just a little help from the community. Proceeds from ticket sales will go towards making their evening complete with dinner at local restaurants. Only 250 tickets are available for this exclusive event. More info and ticketing: www.forthekid.org.

MONDAY, March 21 Dragamundo 8:00 p.m. Join Bubba

Dee Licious and a cast of female impersonators over dinner as the former Dragamaki has moved from its old home at

an LGBT friendly community orchestra, is always seeking new players to fill out sections, and you are invited. They are looking for string—especially violin and double bass—trombone players, as well as percussionists. No audition is required. However, they do play some challenging pieces, and therefore a minimum of high school experience is preferred. For more information, go to www.atlantaphilarmonic.org.

Fishbowls and Glee 8:00 p.m. Glee is back! Come

watch Sue Sylvester, Rachel, Finn, Mr. Shuster and the gang on 21 screens at Amsterdam, 502-A Amsterdam Ave., near Piedmont Park. Friendly, neighborhood atmosphere with great drink specials including Amsterdam fish bowls. Draft specials all day long. Stick around after the show for music videos with VJ Vaughn.

WEDNESDAY, March 23 Birdcage Bingo with Ruby Redd 8:00 p.m. at Mellow Mushroom, 931 Monroe Ave. Bingo fun with a Mellow twist hosted by Ruby Redd. Bingo is free to play and dollars raised support CHRIS Kids charity.

Fun categories and prizes. Get there early for a good seat.

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One Singular Sensation

By Jesse A. Hancock

how am I going to get to know seventeen characters?’

But the story really blends well and you will easily be able to walk out of the theater at the end and be able to say who your favorites were. At the end, where the audition elimination occurs, you’ll be rooting for your favorite characters because you will be so invested in the story by then.

David Magazine: What have been some of the highlights of being on tour?

S

ingers, musicians, actors and dancers all know what it’s like to audition. It can be exciting, nerve-wracking, and emotional. Sometimes even heartbreaking. It takes tremendous discipline, talent and endurance to succeed.

Starring in his first Broadway show ever, Gaspare DiBlasi, is thrilled that it’s A Chorus Line. Although he has been acting and dancing almost all his life, he said he has always loved the story of A Chorus Line and dreamed of starring in it one day.

“With all the hard work and going back and auditioning, I finally got the part,” said DiBlasi. “What I went through is very similar to what the characters go through in this show.”

DiBlasi, 20, plays Paul San Marco, a former Puerto Rican drag queen auditioning for a big role. His sevenminute monologue is very touching and comes at a critical point in the story.

“He talks about finding not only his identity, but also his sexuality,” said Diblasi. “He also talks about his parents accepting him. I was able to relate to that, having come out to my parents and wanting that acceptance. I was also bullied in school. I was able to relate to him so much.”

Diblasi plays one of seventeen characters in A Chorus Line, which premiered in the 1970s and reclaimed its place in the heart of Broadway at the Gerald Schoenfeld Theatre on October 5, 2006. Tony Awardwinning co-choreographer Bob Avian directed the original production. For this new production, Baayork Lee, who starred in the original production and created the role of Connie in A Chorus Line, is the director, and she re-staged the choreography. The original production won the Pulitzer Prize for Drama, nine Tony Awards, including Best Musical, Score and Book, and the New York Drama Critics Circle Award.

It ran for nearly 15 years, closing on April 28, 1990 after 6,137 performances. A Chorus Line remains the longest-running American musical in Broadway history.

The new production comes to the Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre on Thursday, March 17 through Sunday, March 20. Tickets are on sale now at the Cobb Energy Centre’s Bank of North Georgia Box Office, 2800 Cobb Galleria Parkway, all Ticketmaster outlets, online at ticketmaster.com or by calling 800745-3000. Group orders for 10 or more may be placed by calling 770-509-2301.

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Gaspare: Working with such an amazing and creative team has been the biggest highlight. Baayork Lee was in the original, and working with her has been an amazing experience. Seeing all these beautiful places on tour and performing in these huge theaters has also been so exciting. Also, being able to tell this story, especially with the role I’m playing every night, really is a gift.

Interview with Gaspare DiBlasi (Paul) David Magazine: Where are you from, and what is your background in acting, singing, and dancing?

Gaspare: Born and raised in Brooklyn, New York, I started dancing at age five at a local dance studio. I auditioned as a dancer for a performing arts middle school. Then I went to LaGuardia High School of Music and Art and Performing Arts, the Fame school.

I tried out for dance and drama, but I ended up going into drama because a close friend of the family explained to me that in this business you need to do more than just dance if you want to work more. So that school exposed me to acting, and I did my first musical at that school. I was also auditioning outside school and have been doing shows here and there.

David Magazine: This is your first Broadway show and first tour. How are you enjoying it?

Gaspare: It has been an amazing experience. I saw the revival of A Chorus Line and fell in love with it, and I’ve been trying to get into the show for about two years. The characters in this show are very specific, so if you don’t fit in or look the part, you are not going to get in. Thank God I made it this time around. This is a very young cast. With all the hard work and going back and auditioning, I finally got the part. What I went through is very similar to what the characters go through in this show.

David Magazine: What can the audience expect at this performance of A Chorus Line?

Gaspare: This is such a universal piece, but like nothing you’ve ever seen before. It has been around since the 70s. At most Broadway shows the audience never really gets to know much about the characters in the background or chorus. You almost always know who the male and female leads are, but you don’t get to know about the people who just dance behind them.

This is the first show that I know of where you actually get to hear the stories of everybody in the chorus. You’ll get to see struggles that actors go through every day.

There is a lot of stress on our bodies from dancing, and there is a great deal of emotional stress from getting rejected. This story is kind of like an inside scoop, and it’s very cool. It’s also kind of like today’s reality shows but onstage. The audience will see these characters at a rehearsal hall with a lot of mirrors onstage. This show is not about glitz and glam and flashy props or a big set. It’s all about the characters and the acting, dancing and singing. You might feel like, ‘Oh my God,

David Magazine: What have been some of the challenges?

Gaspare: It’s very hard on our bodies. My back is killing me right now, but you just try to take care of yourself and do the show. It’s also rough emotionally.

It’s very draining. I basically just do the show and go back to my hotel room night after night. There is not much time for playing or anything else. We have a day off here and there, but we do this because we love it.

It’s an amazing show! The writing is so beautiful. That makes it a lot easier.

David Magazine: How did you prepare for the role of Paul San Marco, and what similarities do you, Gaspare, have in common?

Gaspare: Paul has a monologue that lasts about seven minutes. It’s all about finding his identity and self-respect. He was a former drag queen. He is so determined. Even when he hurts himself in the story, he still keeps fighting for the part. He never wants to give up. That’s the same thing I would do. He wears his emotions on his sleeve and really spills his guts in the audition. Preparing for Paul was tough. The auditions were grueling. I actually memorized the full monologue over a weekend. I sat in my house and learned the whole thing. I went into the last callback with two other guys and heard back that I got the part a few hours later. It was the hardest, most nerve-wracking thing I’ve ever done. Memorizing the monologue paid off because it turned out that the other two guys didn’t memorize it.

David Magazine: How realistic is Paul’s character in regards to being a gay performer from Puerto Rico?

Gaspare: I think a lot more ethnic people are

This show is especially relevant to the young gay community. I feel like it’s my duty every night to really tell the story and to keep improving it. being hired today than in the past, but back in the 70s, when this play came out, it was a lot harder for African-Americans, Chinese, Puerto Ricans and other minorities. Since this is period piece, it definitely reflects what it was like then. In the show I stand next to another Puerto Rican character, Diana, who is my best friend on and off stage, which makes it so much easier. She’s by far one of my favorite other characters in the story. There’s also Connie, another ethic, who is also one of my favorites. And Richie. Together we make kind of this ethic club and congregate during the audition. We’re kind of ‘besties’ and stick together.

During rehearsal, Baayork Lee told me these were the people I’d be close with on stage and off, and she was right.

David Magazine: Would you be friends with someone like Paul?

Gaspare: Yes, absolutely. I can relate to him so much.

He’s such a sensitive guy. That is something I can relate to. He’s a very caring person.

David Magazine: Why do you think this show is loved so much by gay audiences?

Gaspare: Because it is so understanding of the gay community. You really see gay characters being taken seriously. That’s a big thing in our community, not playing a stereotype. This show is especially relevant to the young gay community. I feel like it’s my duty every night to really tell the story and to keep improving it. My monologue is never perfect.

I’m always trying to improve it and tell it in the best possible way. It’s always a work in progress, but telling the story is very important.

David Magazine: What’s next for you?

Gaspare: In the summer I’m going back to college. I have 30 more credits to go. Then I’m going to Japan to do this show for a month. Then I’ll come back and finish school. Once I’m done with school, I’ll be right back out there auditioning for more shows. Eventually, I’d like to get my Masters to teach musical theater.

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The Frugal Faggot

Monday Mayhem!

Mondays at 8pm. No Cover Charge!

T

he stereotype that gay men aren’t interested in sports is just that – a stereotype. Just because it seems the majority of us would rather be jamming to the latest Ke-dollar sign-ha single or shopping doesn’t mean that there aren’t those who would rather be watching the game. I find myself somewhere in between. I don’t particularly care for Ke$ha (I’m more of an Adele fan) and I would probably rather spend my time shopping (if I had the money) but I’ve lived in Atlanta for 7 years and have never attended an Atlanta Braves game. Every year as I watch guys (and girls) around me getting pumped up for opening day, I promise myself that this will be the year I attend a game (or two).

It’s not that I have an aversion to sports-like activities.

I played soccer and ran cross-country in high school; I love playing ultimate frisbee and enjoy hiking and camping. I’ve just never understood sitting and watching anything being done. I want to participate.

I never learned to throw a football - I was always the receiver (take that as you will) since I was pretty quick. I tried golf once and didn’t have the patience for it – I’m much more of a putt-putt guy. I was 4 foot nothing until 9th grade so basketball was never even a remote possibility for me. Since I collected all those cards when I was a kid, baseball is about the only sport I could see myself sitting and watching and possibly enjoying. With 22 days until opening night at Turner Field, I find myself making those same “I’m-gonnago-this-year” promises.

So in light of my renewed commitment, here are some deals for all sorts of “fans”.

The True Tomahawk: You’re a diehard Braves fan. You know the stats of every player past and present. Your closet is full of your favorite players’ jerseys. Season tickets are definitely the way to go for you. The Braves ticketing sites has many different options starting as low as $4 per game.

The Lazy Outfielder: You’re fine either way with the game. You don’t pay much attention until your hear that loud crack of the bat and when you look up everyone is going wild. There are 21 Value Dates during the season where you can save up to 34% off your tickets. These tickets must be purchased in advance but most Monday-Thursday home games between April 12th-May 17th and August 30th – September 28th have some sort of discount pricing. For example, terrace level tickets (normally $38) are only $25 for these games.

The Broke Batboy: This is the category I fall into.

I have many other things I have to and would like to spend my money on but this season there are several pricing options that don’t make going to a game a bank account strikeout. First, for every home game there are 186 Skyline Seats available for purchase. These tickets go on sale 2 ½ hours before every game and are only $1.

I would assume those seats go rather quickly, so there are some additional discount nights throughout the season. There are 7 Buck Belue Nights throughout the season. These are May 2nd and 16th, June 20th, July 25th, August 15th, September 12th and 26th and Lower Level Terrace Reserved tickets (normally $24) are just $5.

• Drag Show featuring contestants of Ru Paul’s Drag Race!

• 9pm Screening of Ru Paul’s Drag Race with the contestants!

• DJ McCracken! • Food and Absolut drink specials Sponsored By • As always, free valet parking!

• Double loyalty points

Mariah Season 3 Brent Star Mr. Entertainer Nicole Paige Brooks Season 2

1077 Juniper St. Atlanta, GA 30309 404.876.7925 einsteinsatlanta.com

And as always with valid college, AAA or military ID, fans receive two-for-one Upper Box tickets all season long.

With tickets as low as $1 there’s no excuse to not get out there and support the Braves this season. I’m practicing my tomahawk chop as we speak.

The Bobby Cox: You long for the days of yester-year when the Braves dominated baseball. You still have your 1995 World Series Pendant hanging in your bedroom.

You can’t stand another season of being let down. There are several options outside of the season tickets to help save you money.

There are weekend only, half season, 20-game and 5-game packages to help keep a few extra dollars in your bank account.

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@

Seen

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Friends on Ponce - Oklahomo

Photos by The Hand Company

Horoscopes Aries Your enthusiasm is contagious right now — even though at least some of your people have no idea what you’re so excited about! Your great energy is all they need to see to climb on board and help out!

SAGITTARIUS Someone needs to hear from you. They might not even know how to reach you, so it’s a good idea for you to send out feelers to your entire network just to see what’s going on with them.

TAURUS Try not to worry too much when that one colleague or friend keeps teasing you — they are just bored and trying to stir something up. If you keep cool, they are sure to move on to someone else.

CAPRICORN Sometimes the best-laid plans go awry, and all you can do is pick up the pieces.

That’s easier for you than it is for others, so lead the way when things start to go south. You may be able to avoid something even worse!

GEMINI You’ve got high ideals, and you need to make sure that you’re sticking to them.

Now is a good time for you to step up and tell the world what you will and won’t take from it — loud and proud!

AQUARIUS Your enthusiasm is contagious right now — even though at least some of your people have no idea what you’re so excited about! Your great energy is all they need to see to climb on board and help out!

CANCER It may seem like you’ve landed on the planet of the robots this week — everyone seems cold, aloof and almost unemotional. It’s all relative, though, and you may find that as you chill out, they start to heat up.

PISCES Your big dreams are making life much more interesting lately horoscopes— maybe more interesting than real life.

That’s okay, because you should find inspiration to help you plan for a better future.

Leo Little fights can flare up into fullscale epic warfare if you’re not paying attention, so make sure your eyes and ears are open. Things may need to change if you want this relationship to work.

VIRGO You’ve got your routines, and you’re fine with that — but sometimes, life gets in the way. You should expect a disruption — though not a bad one — to occur before noon that leads you down a new path.

LIBRA You can’t let the week slip past without trying something new and daring. It could be an outfit, a pick-up line or even a new restaurant, as long as you’ve been toying with the notion for a while now.

SCORPIO Someone at home — your partner, a roomie or even a pet — is acting out and keeping you from enjoying the peace and quiet you deserve. You could ride it out, or you could show them how you feel.

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1/2 Price Appetizers 11am-8pm-Blake’s Wild Card Show-11pm

Family Poker 7:30pm

TUESDAY

Karaoke Idol 11:30PM

FEATHERS & FLESH BURLESQUE REVUE 11pm

Intermediate 2 Step @ 8-9

WEDNESDAY Dance Lessons @ 8-9 Ladies Night

THURSDAY

Sugar Baby’s Trailer Park Revue-10pm

FRIDAY

Dance Lessons @ 8-9

SATURDAY

MONDAY

Drag On The Edge Show 11pm Karaoke 11:30PM

3 LEGGED COWBOY BLAKE’S Karaoke Idol 11:30PM

Karaoke with Brett & Tyler 10pm

“Total Request” with Angelica D’Paige!

11:30PM Got Leche? 10pm - Hot Latino Dancers Club Nights-DJ Dance Party

Bartenders Ray & Cory Serve it up!

HOT NIGHTS With Jasen Happy Time With Daniel and Donnie and Terry

“P.O.P.!” hosted by Princess Charles!

11:30PM

Club Nights-DJ Dance Party

Karaoke with Brett & Tyler 10pm Open @ Noon with Bob Brewer

CJ Hosting Mary-Oke @ 10pm

DJ Yes Sir Spins Rock 9pm

Karaoke 8pm

Themed Parties Reto DJ’s

Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30PM

Poker Night 9pm

Open 5pm - Boys Room Party - Themed Party Love DJ

Free Tacos! All The Fixins! 3:30 pm to gone!

Dance Party Hot Mess 9PM Differnt DJ Every Week

Dragnique Talent Search Competition. Doors Open Special Guest DJs Dance 9:30pm. Dance Party Party Follows

Boys Night OutNight Hot Mandatory Dress Code AZUCA-Latin Guest DJs-Dance Special Guest DJs-Dance Beats with DJ SpecialParty Party Or Go Shirtless-DJ Latin Tribal 10pm Party 10pm Karlitos 10pm Lydia Prim 10pm

3D Thursdays Disco & Dazzle with Diva Jasen

80s Music with Travis- Karaoke with Mikey-Tim’s Tim’s Black Jack Black Jack

“The Fashionistas” hosted

by Princess Charles!

11:30PM

Texas Hold’Em Poker Meow Mix Jealouse’s Daring Divas 7pm-The Shawnna Factor Kitty LeClaw’s Show 11pm Show 11pm Show 11pm

BURKHART’S

Smirnoff Martini Night

Rock Music-Free Pool with Tony

Free Pool Let’s Make A Deal

Comedy TV-Free Pool with Tony

FELIX’S Afternoons with Jasen 2pm

Time Warp 70s 80s 90s Music with Paul-Dance Floor Open 10pm

THE EAGLE

FRIENDS ON PONCE S.I.N. Night with Brian Dance Floor Open 10pm

Drag Races

HERETIC Stars of the Century Show 11pm

EINSTEIN’S

JUNGLE

Open 5pm - DJ Va Jay Jay Spins

Robert & Michael serve up their Best!

Dragamundo (formerly LAS Dragamaki) with Bubba D. Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30pm Licious and guests MARGARITAS

MARY’S

Karaoke 9PM

Open 6:30pm - $10

Always a Party! Wyatt, Gary & Elvis serve up their Best!

Open 6:30pm - $10 - Hot Naked Men and Big Cocktails

Service Industry Night!

Discounted Drinks!

Show Tunes & Glee 8pm 2-4-1 Door & 2-4-1 VIP Room

Cookout 2pm

2-4-1 VIP Room

MODEL T OSCAR’S

$5 Cover After Midnight

Show Dance Party Karaoke with Darlene 9pm Laser with DJ Steve Lynch

SWINGING RICHARDS TRIPP’S BAR

Chris Coleman Presents “Indulge” 9pm-Midnight

Taco Buffet 5pm

MIDTOWN W

SUNDAY

Sunday Brunch 12-3-DJ’s Bill Berdeaux & Daryl Cox Spin All Night 7 PM “The Armorette’s”!

9:30 PM “The Dreams” with Shavonna B. Brooks!

Bloody Mary & Mimosa Wallet Pleasers

All You Can Eat Brunch 11AM-3PM

Sunday Dinner 3pm

Complimentary Buffet 3pm-Karaoke 7pm

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LA CHAPARRAL

Bartab Nightlife Guide

Gay Atlanta Guide 1. Amsterdam 502 Amsterdam Ave. 404-892-2227 myspace.com/amsterdamatlanta

20. Mary’s 1287 Glenwood Ave. 404-624-4411 www.marysatlanta.com

PRIVATE SOCIAL CLUBS 40. Eros 2219 Faulkner Rd. 404-287-4482

2. Bellissima 560-B Amsterdam Ave. 404-917-0220 myspace.com/bellissima_lounge

21. Mixx 1492 Piedmont Rd. 404-228-4372

41. Manifest 2103 Faulkner Rd. 404-549-2815

22. Model-T 699 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-872-2209 www.modeltatlanta.com

Atlanta Tourist Spots

3. Blake’s on the Park 227 10th St. 404-892-5786 myspace.com/blakesonthepark 4. BJ Roosters 2345 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-634-5895 www.bjroostersatl.com 5. Bulldogs 893 Peachtree St. 404-872-3025 6. Burkhart’s 1492-F Piedmont Rd. 404-872-4403 www.burkharts.com 7. Chaparral 2715 Buford Hwy. 678-886-3205 8. Club Europe 4001 Presidential Pkwy.

770-452-1240 www.thelionsdenatlanta.com 9. Club Opera 1150-B Crescent Ave. 404-872-1150 www.operaatlanta.com 10. Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-873-2453 www.atlantaeagle.com 11. Felix’s 1510-G Piedmont Rd. 404-249-7899 12. Friends On Ponce 736 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-817-3820 www.friendsonponce-atl.com 13. Gilbert’s 219 10th St. 404-872-8012 www.gilbertscafe.com 14. Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-325-3061 www.hereticatlanta.com 15.HOBNOB 1551 Piedmont Ave. 404-968-2288 16. Joe’s on Juniper 1049 Juniper St. 404-875-6634 www.joesatlanta.com 17. Jungle 2115 Faulkner Rd. 404-844-8800 jungleclubatlanta.com 18. LeBuzz 585 Franklin Rd. (Marietta) 770-424-1337 www.thenewlebuzz.com 19. Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-873-4464 www.lasmargaritasatl.com

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23. My Sisters Room 1271 Glenwood Ave. SE 678-705-4585 24. New Order 1544 Piedmont Rd. 404-874-8247 25. Opus 1 1086 Alco St. 404-634-6478

A. Atlanta Botanical Gardens B. Atlanta History Center C. Atlantic Station D. Centennial Olympic Park E. CNN - Atlanta F. Fox Theater G. Georgia Aquarium H. Georgia State Capitol I. High Museum of Art J. Margaret Mitchell House K. The Atlanta Opera and The Atlanta Ballet L. The Atlanta Symphony Orchestra M. Virginia-Highlands N. World of Coca-Cola O. Zoo Atlanta

26. Oscar’s 1510-C Piedmont Ave N.E. www.oscarsatlanta.com 27. Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr. 404-352-0532 www.swingingrichards.com 28. 3 Legged Cowboy 931 Monroe Dr. 404-876-0001 www.3leggedcowboy.net 29. Tripps 1931 Piedmont Cir. 404-724-0067 30. Woofs 2425 Piedmont Rd. 404-869-9422 www.woofsatlanta.com 31. 91 91 Broad Street SW 404.581.0577 www.91below.com GYMS/SPAS/BATHS 32. FLEX 76 - 4th St. NW 404-815-0456 33. Gravity Fitness 2201 Faulkner Rd. NW 404-486-0506 34. Workout Anytime 2140 Peachtree Rd. 404-351-3264 RETAIL/BOOKS/DVDS 35. Atlanta Leather Company 2070 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-320-8989 36. Brushstrokes/Capulets 1510 Piedmont Ave. 404-876-6567 37. Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Rd. 404.873.2264 www.boynextdoor.biz 38. Outwrite Bookstore & Cafe 991 Piedmont Ave. 404-607-0082 39. Poster Hut 2175 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-635-7491

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CLUB ARGOS 1923 WaltonWay-706-481-8829www.clubargos.net THE FILLING STATION @ The Parliament Resort 1258 Gordon Highway-706-828-7400 www.gayaugusta.com/thefillingstation

MACON

KAOS 2780 Riverside Drive – 478-621-0662 www.kaosmacon.com SYNERGY 425 Cherry Street – 478-755-9383

SAVANNAH

BLAINE’S 13 East Perry Street-912-233-6765 www.blainesbar.com CHUCK’S BAR 305 West River Street-912-232-1005 CLUB ONE 1 Jefferson Street-912-232-0200 www.clubone-online.com UNADILLA The Lumberyard @ Lumberjacks Resort 50 Highway 230-1-877-888-1688 www.lumberjackscampground.com

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TENNESSEE

AUGUSTA

CHATTANOOGA IMAGES 6005 Lee Highway-423-855-8210 www.mirage-complex.com CHUCK’S 27 W. Main Street- 423-265-5405 ALLAN GOLD’S 1100 McCallie Avenue-423-629-8080f

AL ABAMA

G EO R G I A

Out of Town Directory BIRMINGHAM THE QUEST 416 24th Street South-205-251-4313 www.the-quest-club.com OUR PLACE 2115 8th Avenue S. 205-715-0077 JOE’S ON SEVENTH 2627 7th Avenue South- 205-321-2812 www.joesonseventh.com

DOTHAN

CLUB IMAGINATION 4129 Ross Clark Circle 334-792-6555

MONTGOMERY

CLUB 322 322 N. Lawrence Street - 334-263-4322

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Atlanta A to Z

By David C. Muller

EPISODE FORTY:

“P is for PencilPart Two” Once upon a time Luke went to a palm reader in Gwinnett County.

The palm reader told him, “You must move to Atlanta, Luke, for you will find love there.”

The palm reader also told him, “A very bad man is coming to Atlanta, Luke, a very, very evil man…”

Luke was shocked to see Mr. Pencil again.

The evil villain made his presence known when, in last week’s episode, he suddenly appeared in federal court as a federal prosecutor:

“Well hello, Luke.” Mr. Pencil had leered at our hapless hero, “Don’t you look fine and delicious?”

“Pencil!” Luke was disgusted to see him, “Have you returned to Atlanta to torment me?”

“Of course not, Luke.” Mr. Pencil licked his lips and said, “Please take out your penis and let me suck your cock.”

“You sicken me, Pencil.” Luke looked at the judge and asked, “Are you going to allow that comment? This man is evil, for God sakes.”

order.

The judge wrapped a gavel and called for

For those of you who don’t remember, Mr. Pencil first appeared on these pages back in Episode 14. Mr. Pencil first came to Atlanta from Pensacola in the wake of last summer’s BP oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico. Whilst out and about, Mr. Pencil spotted Luke at a club somewhere in Midtown. Mr. Pencil

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then drugged Luke and kidnapped him; he stripped Luke naked and taped him to a toilet. Mr. Pencil then offered our hero a job which, of course, he declined.

Luke had not seen or heard from- or of- Mr. Pencil since then but, in a maddening twist, that all changed last week when the skinny evil bastard turned up again, this time as a lawyer- how perfectly evil; don’t you think?

“Luke, my darling,” Mr. Pencil came over to the legal barrier that separated him from Luke, “if you just come back to my sumptuous lair hidden on the top floor of a high-rise condominium just off Peachtree in Buckhead; if you will just take me there and f*ck me like a nineteen year old, then I promise to sabotage Uncle Sam’s case against your two lesbian minority friends, setting them both free from the Georgia state penal system. What do you say to that, Luke? Will you come and f*ck me and f*ck me good?

I really want to take it from you, Luke. I want to be walking funny until next Monday.”

“Hell no!” Luke scoffed in abhorrent revulsion, “You are a sad and pathetic man, Mr. Pencil, and no matter what, I will never, ever have sex with you.”

“Do you mean to tell me that your misguided sense of ethics and morals prevent you from engaging in anal intercourse with a man of my age?”

“It has nothing to do with your age, you skinny pervert.” Luke shook his head, “Something is seriously wrong with you.”

“But Luke, look at me, I am fabulously rich. I own a God damned island just miles off Fidel Castro’s Cuba.”

“What the hell am I supposed to do with an island?” Luke pursed his lips, “Don’t you know my ambition is to work in retail?”

Tune in next week for EPISODE FORTY-ONE: “Q is for Project Q” “ATLANTA A to Z” would LOVE to hear from you! QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, SUGGESTIONS: We welcome your feedback!

Send us an email at: AtlantaAtoZ@DavidAtlanta.com

“But Luke, look at me.” Mr. Pencil spread his arms big and wide, “I’m covered with feathers!”

“Is that why you smell like bird shit?”

“But Luke,” Mr. Pencil pouted, “I love you and I want you and if you let me have your cock between my crusty lips I swear I’ll let your lesbian friends go free.”

“Are you serious?” Luke asked him, “You’d set my friends free if I let you suck my dick?”

“Yes, Luke.” Mr. Pencil smiled in flirtation, “Please take it out and let me view your rod.”

“Seriously?” Luke glanced up at the judge seated on the bench, “Are you getting this down on public record? You have a federal prosecutor soliciting homosexual activity in a federal court room. Please tell me he is breaking a law.”

order.

The judge wrapped a gavel and called for

“Listen to me, Luke, for what I have to say is quite important.” Mr. Pencil said, “Luke, if you deny me the rapture of tasting first-hand the warm semen at it squirts from your ejaculating penis then not only will I send your two lesbian minority friends to jail for the rest of their natural lives, I’ll also expose you, Luke.”

“Me?” Luke frowned, “Expose me as what, exactly?”

“I will expose you for the drunken slut that you are. You just watch me, Luke,” Mr. Pencil made a threat: “Let me have my wicked way with you, little Luke, or I swear I’ll go to the gay press if I have to.

I’ll go onto Project Q if I must.”

“Project Q?” Luke asked, “What the hell is Project Q?”

“You just wait.” Mr. Pencil cackled, “Until next week!”

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LUCK OF THE DRAWERS

By the editors of DailyJocks.com

This St. Patrick’s Day, don’t wait for the leprechaun to share his charms with you. If you’re looking to get lucky, the team at DailyJocks.com has assembled some mean green underwear picks that might just do the trick.

Piss & Vinegar Refreshing Brief Who knew color could make such a difference? Piss & Vinegar, that’s who, and their vibrant lime green Refreshing Brief will make you feel fresh and revived the whole time you wear it. This stylish basic is perfect for the guy who likes his briefs classic, but welcomes a pop of color. Soft and smooth against your skin, this has all the makings of the perfect brief--mid rise, full coverage and the ability to make you look great. The Piss & Vinegar Refreshing Brief is an all-occasion underwear, when a splash of color is all you need to feel your best.

Aussiebum Lockerboy Brief The aussieBum Lockerboy Brief is a lean cut, sporty brief that ensures you look your best from the locker room to the field. Made of soft, stretchy cotton it feels great against your skin and the contrast stitching is slightly elastic so it stays snug for a more supportive fit. The vibrant colors add an energetic edge to your workout so you can look and feel your brightest.

Obviously Low Rise Jock The Obviously Low Rise Jock is an athletic jock strap made from super soft modal fabric. Modal is a natural fabric that feels silky smooth against your skin, and is more absorbent than cotton. This particular style puts the spotlight on the brand’s unique contour pouch, which provides roomy support for your package. This anatomical separation feels like you’re wearing nothing at all, and promotes breath ability and circulation.

Calvin Klein X Element Low Rise Trunk The Calvin Klein X Element Low Rise Trunk is a trim fitting trunk that vividly displays one of four elements (Earth, Air, Fire or Water) on the waistband.

The sporty vibe of the Calvin Klein X Men’s Underwear Collection turns toward nature for this adventurous collection, perfect for the outdoors guy. The super soft microfiber is lightweight and silky, and the snug fit feels smooth like liquid. The Calvin Klein X Element Low Rise Trunk is a unique way to express what inspires you--expose what element suits you best.

Todd Sanfield Underwear I Love Olive Briefs Todd’s brief has a sleek look. The 1 1/2” wide lush elastic is soft with burgundy lettering. Both on the front and back of the elastic is the Todd Sanfield Collection logo, which is embroidered on separately. Todd’s underwear collection sets the standard in ultimate comfort, quality, and durability. Don’t miss your chance to cover yourself with Todd’s uber luxurious range of underwear.

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Stockist information Freshpair.com ToddSanfieldunderwear.com Obviously.com.au Aussiebum.com.au

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YOUNG ORIENTAL PLEASURE Good looks, fit, affectionate & quality blended sessionwith sensual touch.

Interactive tension-relief. Intuitive & discrete. No attitude, in/out calls. First time & hotel discount.

CLASSIFIEDS CONTINUED

Call Jack 404-641-4466. Late Hours OK.

URGENT AIR SERVICES Proudly Serving the Gay Community 404-663-2580 www.urgentairservices.com Eleven Hair Studio Men’s & Women’s Cut & Color 502B Amsterdam Ave 404-944-5838 by appointment only Quality Experienced Cleaning $55 for up to 5 hours cleaning Good References & Extensive Experience Call Terrence: 678-763-6841

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Protect Your Monster

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By Richard Marshall

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Bitch Session Am I the only one who lets old relationships go? I swear, if you people spent as much time working on your current relationships as you do bitching about your old ones, you’d have more happiness than you could stand.

I had the best birthday. I love my friends and family. You really can find happily-everafter. You just need the right people in your life to make it happen.

I hate my roommate for telling people I think they are cute for the fun of it. Stop screwing around!

If I were as fat and ugly as you, I’d shoot myself in the face. Just sayin.’

Why is there so much Facebook drama? Can’t people say something to someone’s face anymore?

To the queen who T-boned my car while texting and driving out of the adult video booth parking lot: Go back in the booths or pay attention to the road!

You can go to hell. You make me end things but then don’t have the balls to give me Why does Facebook constantly make lousy “improvements” that only slow the whole closure! You’re worthless. damn thing down?

After three years of being single, I have learned that I want someone to share my life Bogus traffic ticket: $219. Parking: $6. ATM with, not live my life by. charge: $2.25. Spending my birthday in traffic court with delightfully ignorant court employees: priceless.

By the time you read this, I will be...drunk.

Why are older gays so damn selfish in Atlanta? Enjoy life, or keep your mean asses at home with your pets and plants. Thanks!

Breaking News: The Pity Train has just derailed at the intersection of Suck It Up and Move On and crashed into We All Have Problems before coming to a complete stop at Get the Hell Over It. Any complaints about how we operate can be forwarded to 1-800wha-aaah.

Hey, Coco from Fame, no one wears patchouli.

It gives me recessive genes.

Don’t be a drag, just be a queen, but don’t be too big a queen.

Why does everyone go to the same bars during Spring Break? You know it’s going to be crowded. And then you bitch about the noise?

Thank you, Charlie Sheen, for confirming there is always someone with bigger problems than my own.

So apparently, if you top a veggie sandwich with bacon, it’s called The Hypocrite. You flirt with me for weeks on A4A and send Ordered simply for the irony. dirty text messages then ask me to change Why would you do the help? I don’t even talk my profile pic on to a better pic? How rude?! to mine.

Who do you think you are?

Gotta Bitch?

? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitc ch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? ? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitc ch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch?

Text it to 404.969.BTCH(2824) 78 davidatlanta

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