David Magazine | Atlanta Issue 633

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1874 Piedmont Avenue 390-C Atlanta, GA 30324 Mon-Fri 9:30am-5:00pm Phone: 404.418.8901 Fax: 404.418.8901 ext. 7 www.davidatlanta.com mail@davidatlanta.com

publisher

Matt Neumann matt@davidatlanta.com

associate editor

Katie Stover stover@davidatlanta.com

theater & arts editor

Tony Smithey tony@davidatlanta.com

graphic design

Matt Neumann Travis Barrón Tyler McEntyre Katie Stover

photography

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14 brent star 20 momma mona 28 frugal faggot 36 datebook 46 pageant 50 vagitarian 60 wonderland 62 atlanta a-z 68 pat scott 70 oh land seen@ 12 16 38 64 68 guides

52 horoscopes 54 bartab nightlife guides 56 directory 74 adult classifieds 78 bitchsession

Brian Sawyer Jeff Jackson Tony Smithy

Matt Neumann Jesse Hancock Les Bouska

contributors

Katie Stover David Muller Luis Chiruco Jesse Hancock Lydia Lunch Tony Smithey Mary Beth Morrison

cover

Matt Neumann

classifieds

Luka Simone

office manager Carson Abele

operations & finance

Brian Sawyer brian@davidatlanta.com

sales & account management Steve Tyrrell sales@davidatlanta.com

marketing & promotions

Chip O’Kelley chip@davidatlanta.com Torren Moore torren@davidatlanta.com

national ad rep

Rivendell Media 908.232.2021

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Opinions expressed by any writer appearing in this publication are not necessarily those of the staff, management, advertisers, organizations or persons appearing in this magazine. No Part of this publication may be reproduced by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopy recording or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. The mention, appearance or likeness of any person, business, organization, or event in this publication is in no way to be taken as any identification of the sexual, social or political orientation of such persons, businesses, events organizations, staff, shareholders or owners of such. DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, errors or changes in information, events and schedules in ads, features or calendars. DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE reserves the right to reject or cancel any advertisement submitted. All copy, text, graphics, photo’s and illustrations in submitted ads are published with the understanding that the person and business’ submitting such are fully authorized and have secured proper consent for the use of images, graphics, pictures, names, logos and testimonials used in such ads and that DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE may lawfully publish the same. By submitting such materials, the advertiser agrees to indemnify and hold blameless DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE from any liability resulting from the publication of any such materials or images.

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The Brent Star Report Nicole Paige Brooks Life after the RuPaul show!

I

t’s another Monday Mayhem at Einstein’s, the restaurant off Juniper. It’s packed for the weekly Monday show hosted by 3 fascinating whores!

One of them, RuPaul’s season 3 contestant Mariah Balenciaga, had just stepped out onto the stage about to turn the house out with her ‘Glamorous Life’ routine, while another host, ME, is backstage destroying a plate of calamari. This is one of the reasons why I love doing shows at restaurants, cause backstage, sometimes I get HON-GREE! And the other host, and whom is my subject for this week’s report, is another contestant from RuPaul’s show, Nicole. Paige. Brooks. from Atlan-TA Geor-GIA. She’s over there half naked using all my grape seed oil. Yea, while she’s rubbing her sticks, I mean legs, she’s telling me about how much fun she had celebrating her ‘Sweet 16’ party (16 yrs of drag) that was held at the Jungle. She’s very grateful everyone came out Since it’ll be a minute before it’s time to go back on stage, I decided it’s time to talk about life after the RuPaul’s show. Let’s talk!

Brent: So Nicole, how has your life change since doing the RuPaul’s show?

NPB: I now make millions among millions of dollars! (kee kee) no, but seriously, more ppl recognize me.

And actually I do make more money…with bookings out of town and here too. Speaking of which, are you coming to my 3 year anniversary show?

Brent: What anniversary show? At Swinging Richards?

NPB: No smartass! At Lebuzz! On March 5th. Tell your readers to come and wear purple.

Brent: Why purple? What’s the damn point?

NPB: I had my best friend in mind when I chose that color, Susannah. Why not, we’re always together. It’s like a tribute to her.

Brent: (to myself: lesbians. Just KIDDING!). Awwe, That’s sweet. So, what kind of reactions do you get from ppl since the RuPaul show?

NPB: Well doing drag for so long here in Atlanta, I’m used to ppl treating me like a celebrity, but now, I get ppl looking at me like I’m not even real…It’s like I’m an object. I used to get ppl coming up and speaking every once in awhile, but now they just point and stare as if to say “oh, THAT’S the one that was on RuPaul”.

It’s a weird feeling. It’s like now that I’ve been on tv, they now have a different perception of me, you know like I’m doing a different job. I’m still doing the same job. I’m still just a regular drag queen, just one that’s been on tv.

Brent: What is the most important lesson you’ve learned about being a “celebrity”?

NPB: That I should never forget that I’m a role model.

That was the hardest thing for me to learn because before then I never thought of anyone looking up to 14 davidatlanta

me as that’s who they want to be or to become. I never thought that way for the first 7 years here. It wasn’t until I worked with the young kids at Youth Pride back in 2007 that I notice they really looked up to me.

Brent: What’s your ultimate dream now that you’ve already been on RuPaul?

NPB: You know, when the show ended, most of the contestants were like “this is your kick off…take this opportunity and do what you will” but I love what I do already. I feel like I’m living my ultimate dream.

I have a blessed life, there’s nothing I would want to change. I never wanted to be famous. I feel like I’m already successful?

Brent: I’m shocked…YOU don’t want to be famous?

NPB: No. I don’t feel like the world needs to know who I am in order to be a success! I kinda have a fear of it to be honest, and that’s probably why I’m still here in Atlanta. I will always be here…I mean I get calls for out of town bookings, but if there was a television show that I could do from here, then I probably would.

But I’m not a fame seeker.

Brent: As we wrap up, what advice would you give the new comers?

NPB: CALM DOWN! Just enjoy yourself and take your time. Don’t think you’re a star before you even get into the spotlight. Just because you do a couple of shows and a few videos on youtube does NOT make you a legend! I’ve been doing this 16 years and I still don’t feel like I’ve done enough.

Thank you Nicole and I’m sure your March 5th anniversary show at Lebuzz will be a hit as it’s always packed. And remember, it’s one thing to have haters, but when you have so many followers/supporters, you must be doing something right!

Until next week, don’t read the girls, .instead, read The Brent Star Report!

Where to catch Brent Star: Mondays at Einsteins (with RuPaul’s contestants Nicole Paige Brooks of season 2 and Mariah Paris Balenciaga of season 3), Saturdays at Tijuana Garage Thursdays and Sundays once a month at Burkharts and everywhere else that pays! www.facebook.com/Mr.BrentStar

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Ask Momma Mona Dear Momma Mona,

Dear Momma Mona,

I had a similar experience but with genital warts. I don’t know exactly who gave them to me and was terribly ashamed about it. My doctor was great with educating me and giving me information to read. I had three acid treatments and was told I would probably not have to worry about it again. I like what you said about how a diagnosis of a STD does not define you because I really had to process it when I was first diagnosed. Being sexually active certainly has its challenges. Even if you do use a condom, things happen.

While u say that herpes does not define u, it really does! Here’s been my dilemma.

I meet someone I kinda like. Do I tell them upfront that I have herpes, or do I wait until I want to be sexual? I know I gotta tell at some point and it is a huge dread. In fact, I haven’t been sexual with anyone in over seven months! I’ve quit going to bars --- amazing how much money I’ve saved here! But I’m starting to get pretty depressed and angry about my situation. I don’t want to be with someone else with herpes because then I’d get more of it. Mine’s not so bad.

Robert

In a Dilemma

Dear In a Dilemma, Hi Robert, You are so right! In fact, most enjoyable activities have risks. For example, sky diving and scuba diving could result in some very dangerous accidents, yet both are highly popular sports. In fact, I know that I am taking a risk every time I go into the kitchen to cook a meal! We all have to weigh the risks and get on with our lives.

Hey, here’s a little tidbit that everyone might find interesting: High risk-takers, those who act first and think later, tend to have a shorter index finger than their ring finger. Check it out and give me your feedback!

I’ve noticed that people in the medical profession tend to have pretty even index and ring fingers, which means they tend to make more informed decisions.

Also, those with a very slanted backwards forehead tend to make quick decisions. They move fast. A good thing for sales people to know!

For more information on these fun facts, check out Face Reading on Google. I’ve enjoyed www.

NaomiTickle.com and actually taken several of her classes and studied her books. Most interesting.

Momma Mona

Share YOUR thoughts and experiences with other David readers!

MommaMona@DavidAtlanta.com

Actually, accolades to you for being such a conscientious individual! My guess is that you have not shared with many people that you are herpes positive. It does get easier the more times you break through your self-imposed shame and embarrassment and talk about it. Some people prefer to get it over with and just announce it on the onset of meeting someone. The more sensitive – like you – might find it preferable to first see how your own attraction to someone goes. Then, if you think the person worthy of your attention and emotions, that is the time you have “The Sex Talk”. In this way, you have already determined that the other person is someone you could or already care about, and they you. So chances are that they would be understanding and appreciative of your honesty. It is also their opportunity to reveal any STD they might be dealing with. You just never know.

May I challenge you just a bit? You and millions of other people are herpes positive and most through no fault of their own. Just because you may feel horrible about yourself, please do not judge others. I repeat, herpes is not a master status that defines a person.

Think about it. What really defines you first? Gender, age, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, educational degree(s), job, family, friends, car, having hair on your head if you are male, physical beauty, personality, health…….the list goes on.

And, the priority of these status-definers alter throughout one’s life. For example, health may define you only after there has been a loss.

My last preachin’ points are to love yourself and do the best you can with what you’ve got. Define your Self in the best way possible for both yourself and others.

My Best, Momma Mona

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From Fan Favorite to Super Star

Bitch. Just hearing this label strikes a nerve with many women. Some deny it, some ignore it or lash back while others, like Tabatha Coffey, “embrace their inner bitch.”

In her new autobiography, It’s Not Really About the Hair, she writes about what it has been like to be labeled a bitch for so long and how she decided to “reclaim” the word as it defines her as someone who is “brave, intelligent, tenacious, creative, and honest.” She also decided not to obsess over insults from bloggers, critics and haters. That decision has made her a stronger, more focused person, and it is paying off.

She just wrapped up Season Three of Bravo’s Tabatha’s Salon Takeover, the highest-rated season for the show to date. She’s about to launch a book signing tour. She also just hosted some of the red carpet interviews at the Oscars.

In addition to writing in the book about her experiences becoming such a famous hairdresser, she also writes very candidly about being an obese child, about being raised in strip clubs in Australia, about her family’s involvement with mobsters, and about the challenges of living with her strong-willed mother and alcoholic father. These experiences may surprise a lot of fans.

“What motivated me to write the book is the overwhelming response from people since the show,” said Coffey. “People have been incredibly supportive of me. A lot of people write me questions that really are not about hair, which is why I titled the book like I did. I get questions that range from ‘how do I come out?’ to ‘how do I be a little bit stronger?’ and ‘what makes you so confident?’ People want to know if strength is something that is innate or something you learn. I really just wanted to share stories that I hope will resonate with people and maybe help answer some of the most common questions I’m asked.”

David Magazine: Local fans are excited that you are coming to Atlanta on your tour. How do you like Atlanta?

Tabatha: I’m glad they put Atlanta on the list. I haven’t been there in a long time. I’ve been there a couple of times to do hair events when I worked for a product company, but it has been

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By Jesse A. Hancock

quite a few years. I’m looking forward to coming back.

David Magazine:. Do people treat you differently, in general, now that you have become so famous?

Tabatha: No, not at all. Honestly, I think the only thing that has changed is I’m recognizable. That’s all.

David Magazine: You write about people’s “moral compass” a lot in the book. Can someone with no moral compass change?

If so, what does it take?

Tabatha: I do write a lot about moral compass, and I think it’s different for everyone. For me, moral compass is truly about not being judgmental. I don’t think any of us are judge and jury of any other person. It’s making decisions that you’re comfortable with that are not hurtful to other people. And yes, I think everyone has the ability to change.

David Magazine: At the end of your book you encourage readers to write down and analyze their own stories and learn to be who they truly are from their experiences. Why do you think it is so hard for people to be who they truly are? What holds people back?

Tabatha: I think people are too concerned about being who everyone wants them to be, instead of being true to themselves.

The reason I put that encouragement in the book is I found the writing process incredibly cathartic. I’m not someone who has ever sat down and journaled or anything like that. People spend too much time trying to please everyone else and doing what they think is right in everyone else’s eyes, and they truly forget what is good for them and what makes them happy and what makes them feel good.

David Magazine: Readers may be surprised at how candid and revealing you are in your book. Thank you for sharing such personal stories. Why did you decide to be so open about your life?

Tabatha: I didn’t want to write a book that is just self-indulgent or all about me. I know that sounds contrary because I did write about myself, but I tried to include honest stories of things that have happened in my life that may help readers. Maybe help them feel more comfortable with their sexuality. Maybe help

them come out if they fear their parents won’t accept them.

Maybe help them stand up for themselves a little bit more and realize that strong and assertive are not bad qualities to have.

David Magazine: Coming out to your mother was disappointing for you because you were surprised at her reaction. Do you think she honestly didn’t know you were gay?

Tabatha: I think she honestly did know. I think her reaction is normal and the same as many parents’ reactions out there. It was disappointing but more surprising because of the lifestyle that we had always lived, the lifestyle in which she had raised me. I thought it would be something that she probably wouldn’t blink an eye at and was surprised at the reaction I got. Having seen a lot of the hardships of the transsexuals and people I grew up with in the strip clubs, my mother definitely thought I could open myself up to that. I don’t think any parent wants her child’s life to be harder than it has to be, so that was one portion of it. Another portion is that I’m the only girl in the family. I’m sure she wanted a quiet wedding with a white, fluffy dress and 50 grandchildren running around. That wasn’t going to happen.

Obviously, we worked through it and had an incredibly close relationship. Years later it wasn’t an issue whatsoever.

David Magazine: What do you say to anyone who wants to come out but is afraid?

Tabatha: For each of us, coming out is our own journey. It’s our own story that we have to deal with. I don’t think anyone really has the right to tell someone else how to do it because you need to do it in a way that’s comfortable for you and works for you. I hope I can tell my story and help one young kid out there who feels comfortable enough to come out, but we need to realize that not everyone is going to have a positive reaction to it, including parents or the people we feel closest to. There is a lot of bullying going on out there. You need to hold your head high and feel good about your decision. You need to be true to who you are. Most of the time it really does work out. It may sound trite, but it’s true. It’s hard for everyone when they come out, but you work through it.

David Magazine: You said in your book you are sometimes told you dress “too fabulously for a lesbian” or that you don’t look like a lesbian. Why do you think people, straight and gay, make such assumptions about others based on how they look or sound or act?

Tabatha: It’s human nature. I think we all do it. We make assumptions on people all the time, and often they are the wrong assumptions. There is an assumption that every gay man is incredibly feminine or every lesbian is incredibly butch. For some reason people have those stereotypes in their heads. I don’t take it as a negative. Talking about it gets the conversation going. If there is someone out there who looks at me and says, ‘Oh my God, I didn’t know a lesbian looked like that,’ then that could be a really good thing. That could maybe change their minds on how they approach lesbians. It’s amusing to me because I don’t know what we are ‘supposed’ to look like, and I don’t think it really matters. Assumptions are quite amazing. It’s something we should talk about.

David Magazine: You told your mom once you wanted to be the female Vidal Sassoon. Is that still your dream?

Tabatha: A couple of weeks ago I went to Los Angeles for the movie premiere of Vidal’s life and career. It’s a really good documentary. The man is amazing. We all have mentors and people we aspire to be who help keep us motivated. He is one of many hairdressers out there who has always been a mentor for me. He’s kind of the beacon of professionalism and who I aspire to be. One day maybe I will be sort of the female version of Vidal Sassoon. That would be amazing. It’s a good goal for me to work toward because he has done so much for the industry. He is held in such high regard. Maybe one day I’ll get there.

David Magazine: How do salons in America compare to salons in Australia and around the world?

Tabatha: They truly are no different. It’s apples and oranges.

Salons in America don’t stack up any better or worse than salons anywhere in the world. There are really good salons and really bad salons. That’s the case with any business. The only thing that’s different, that kind of varies from country to country and state to state, is every city has its own flavor. The only difference is what is aesthetically pleasing in one country versus another. Years ago it used to be that you would go to London or Europe, and salons there would have an edge to

One day maybe I will be sort of the female version of Vidal Sassoon. That would be amazing.

It’s a good goal for me to work toward because he has done so much for the industry.

them. In some cases it’s still true, but it has changed because we have changed as a society so much. Now we have the Internet and celebrities who drive a lot of trends.

David Magazine: Out of all the salons you’ve “taken over,” are there any that stand out in your memory the most, that you will never forget?

Tabatha: I can’t pick one. I understand why people ask that question, but all the salons stand out for different reasons. What people don’t realize is that it’s an emotional thing for me. I know it’s a TV show, but I do take it very seriously. When I go into these salons, I truly go in with the hopes of turning them around and making them better businesses and better working environments. I get very vested in each one I walk into. Some stand out because they’ve been incredibly successful. Some have not. Some stand out because I’m still unsure about their future. Some stand out because it was a really bloody hard week, and it was hard to be with the people there. I’m still astounded by some of the behavior that happened in some of them. The thing I love about hairdressers is they always surprise me. Just when I think I couldn’t see anything worse than a dildo in a salon in Season Two, I see a stripper pole in a salon in Season Three.

David Magazine: Who styles your hair, and what well-known stylists do you admire?

Tabatha: A lot of times I color it myself. The only reason for that is because it’s easier sometimes if I’m traveling. I use professional products, of course. I usually get it cut by one of my stylists in my salon, or if I’m on the road the good thing is I have a lot of friends all over the place. I can almost always find a friend to help me.

David Magazine: Will you be taking over any Atlanta salons?

Tabatha: You’ll have to wait and watch to see what happens.

I honestly don’t know yet, actually. I really like Atlanta, and I like the fact that we travel in the show. A lot of people don’t get that opportunity. I think you get a little bit of a feel for each city we go into. It’s nice for viewers to sort of take a trip with us and see Boston or parts of Florida or Los Angeles. I would love to be able to do that with Atlanta, but I don’t even know about Season Four yet.

David Magazine: You seem so busy. What do you like to do for fun when you have free time?

Tabatha: God, I don’t even know anymore. I like to just relax.

I love to read. Sadly, I’m not reading anything at the moment because I don’t have time, which drives me nuts. I can read a couple of books a week. I find it very relaxing. I also love to watch TV and just chill out. I really love to cook but don’t get much time for it anymore. For me, down time is quiet time.

Just being a hairdresser, the nature of our business is we talk to people a lot. It’s nice to do something very quiet and just escape when we have down time. I enjoy those moments.

David Magazine: What’s next for you?

Tabatha: Hopefully I’ll be doing Season Four. Maybe another book. It really was a great experience. I wouldn’t rule out writing another book. If I feel like if there’s something I can share with people that may help, maybe I will do that.

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The Frugal Faggot

W

hew! I pulled off the Oscar party and only went a little over budget but all the food preparation for the party left me wanting to dine out all week. I don’t want to see a kitchen this week. I want to go out and have someone wait on me but there’s a catch. I’m BROKE. I bet those guys panhandling from the airport to North Springs on MARTA make a lot of money but I have a little too much pride for that so instead I’ve scoured the area for some great dining deals for the week.

Monday Just two doors down from The United Church of The Messy (Blake’s) is Gilbert’s Cafe and this week my dining jaunt begins there. Every Monday Gilbert’s Cafe offers its full entrée menu for ½ price. This is a perfect place to start for the week. Bacon-wrapped pork tenderloin with sautéed spinach and risotto for $8? Yes, please!

Tuesday Head on over to the corner of Monroe and Piedmont to Hobnob Tavern for All-You-Can-Eat Sliders for $11.95. I’m partial to The Southerner- lightly fried green tomatoes with tomato horseradish relish, goat cheese and balsamic reduction. I could eat these all night and I just might when I stick around for trivia.

Wednesday

Concentrics restaurant (ONE Midtown Kitchen, Two Urban Licks, Lobby, Room, Parish, Tap, Murphy’s) between now and March 31st and you’ll receive an $11 gift receipt to use on a future visit. Please see restaurants for full details.

Friday Frugal Fridays at none other than Cowtippers. With refreshing $5 Texas margaritas, great steaks and patio weather arriving, this is definitely the place to be seen.

Bring in a copy of this weeks’ Frugal Faggot article and receive 10% off your dining check.

Saturday Not sure where I’ll eat but I’m heading over to Restaurant.com to pick up a discount gift certificate to a Metro-Atlanta area restaurant. With such choices as Firkin and Lindbergh, Jack’s Pizza and Highland Tap, there’s sure to be something for everyone. Visit frugalfaggot.com for an additional savings code which may just get you $25 gift certificates for as low as $3.

Sunday Two words—Sunday Funday. Kick it off at Smith’s Olde Bar for a $12 brunch buffet which includes an Absolut Bloody Mary. Next, head to Church (Blake’s) and enjoy $5 mimosas and bloodies. Finish your Sunday Funday at Two Urban Licks with their Sunday Splurge—family style dining with complimentary beer and wine for $21 per person. Menus change weekly so definitely call ahead and make reservations for this popular dinner.

Nestled over in the Old Fourth Ward is the amazing Mexican-inspired restaurant Across the Street and for only $10 you can have All-You-Can-Eat tacos. Kick back and enjoy the tacos with a refreshing margarita and watch the good times roll.

As a note, remember that your servers work HARD for you while you’re dining in their establishments. With all of these savings, throw a couple extra dollars on the tip line. That server may just remember you the next time you come to dine.

I’m a pizza whore. I could probably eat pizza every night of the week so this next dinner is going to satisfy my As always have FUN, be FABULOUS and stay cravings. Thursday nights from 6 p.m. – 9 p.m. Lobby FRUGAL. at Twelve in Atlantic Station offers All-You-Can-Eat pizza (up to six toppings) for only $10. Somebody Don’t forget to visit www.frugalfaggot.com pinch me. I must be dreaming . . . but wait there’s and the David website for additional deals more. For an additional $5 enjoy complimentary beer during the week. or wine with your pizza. Additionally, dining at any

Thursday

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Monday Mayhem!

Mondays at 8pm. No Cover Charge!

• Drag Show featuring contestants of Ru Paul’s Drag Race!

• 9pm Screening of Ru Paul’s Drag Race with the contestants!

• DJ McCracken! • Food and Absolut drink specials Sponsored By • As always, free valet parking!

• Double loyalty points

Mariah Season 3 Brent Star Mr. Entertainer Nicole Paige Brooks Season 2

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GEORGIA BRINGS HOME

Celebrating its 22nd year in 2011, the Miss Gay Georgia USofA Pageant is the most talked about pageant event in Atlanta. This year’s festivities, which will be Thursday, March 10 at the Jungle, also include the Miss Gay Georgia USofA At Large and Newcomer divisions.

some of the most beautiful and talented entertainers in the world to the national pageants. They work hard and they always do well at nationals.”

In addition to Dominique, the pageant will feature the two other reigning national queens: Tahjee Iman, Miss Gay USofA At Large (and Atlanta resident) and Phalon For the past two years, Georgia representatives have Steele, Miss Gay USofA Newcomer from St. Louis. captured the national title at the Miss Gay USofA Joining them will be reigning Miss Gay Georgia Pageant, an accomplishment never before achieved by USofA Dorae Saunders, Miss Gay Georgia USofA a state or regional pageant. First in 2009, Atlanta’s very At Large Kewesi Alexandria St. James and Miss Gay own Stasha Sanchez was the first Miss Gay Georgia Georgia USofA Newcomer Pandora.

USofA to be crowned Miss Gay USofA. Then, last year, Dominique Sanchez captured the national title “Female impersonation as an art form belongs to the while representing Georgia.

LGBT community,” said Jeremy Burnette, co-owner of Georgia USofA. “These pageants celebrate that “We’ve been so proud of our representatives at the fact and take drag to the next level. Our audiences are national pageants,” said Celeste Holmes, co-owner always blown away by the higher level of talent and and emcee of Georgia USofA for the last six years. entertainment that a pageant brings.”

“Every year, we have been fortunate enough to send

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THE CROWN‌ AGAIN

Georgia has stood out at the most recent national pageants. In addition to having the winner at the 2010 Miss Gay USofA Pageant, Georgia representatives also captured two other spots in the top six: Dorae earned the No. 6 spot and Teonia Steele placed at No. 5. At the Miss Gay USofA At Large Pageant Kewesi also made the top 12. And at the Miss Gay USofA Newcomer Pageant Pandora place No. 6 overall and Georgia representative Lady Aria earned the No. 4 spot.

Additional entertainers at this year’s event include Miss Gay USofAs Stasha Sanchez, Raquell Lord, and former Georgia USofA winners Tina Devore, Ashley Kruiz, Tasha Khan, Alexis Kelly, Lauren LaMasters,

Heather Daniels, Necole Luv Dupree, Natasha Braxton and Bianca Nicole.

As one of the longest running pageants in the country, Georgia USofA is also one of the most awarded preliminary pageants in the Miss Gay USofA system.

The doors open at 6:30 p.m. and the pageants begin promptly at 7:30 p.m. on Thursday, March 10 at the Jungle. For more information or advance tickets ($5 discount plus reserved seats), visit www. georgiausofa.com.

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The Vagitarian

I

n case you forgot Valentine’s Day, are trying to make up for a failed attempt, or did not find the perfect valentine until after Valentine’s Day had passed, don’t worry. It’s not too late to celebrate love with someone very special. I’ve come up with a Happy Belated Valentine’s Day Plan.

Check out some of my favorite spots in Atlanta and win her over.

Buy her a box of chocolate, and she will think you forgot Valentine’s Day. Buy her intimate gifts (lingerie, sex toys, etc.), and she will think that you only have one thing on your mind, sex. Make her something homemade from the heart, and she will know that she one very special girl who you care about very much.

Local stores, like Sam Flax, carry an enormous array of items that can cater to your crafty needs. Utrecht, Michaels, and our local antique shops are great places to find supplies to make the perfect gift.

A way to the heart, isn’t just through a man’s stomach; women love to eat a great meal too! My top picks for the perfect Valentine’s Day dinner are:

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By Katie Stover

N’AWLINS Located in East Atlanta, N’awlins offers an intimate atmosphere, amazing Cajun and creole cuisine, and delicious drinks that won’t break the bank. The chef, Frankie, and his staff are some of the nicest and most genuine people I have met in Atlanta thus far. I highly recommend anything on the menu. Stop in for dinner at N’awlins, and stay after hours when N’awlins transforms into MSR for a night of dancing and good music. Tell em’ Katie sent ya!

SAUCED www.saucedatlanta.com You can find this little gem in Edgewood. Sauced has a great atmosphere, great DJ’s, and some of the best food and drinks that you can find anywhere in town.

The food and drinks are unique and creative, and it’s a great spot for a romantic dinner, or a casual first date.

Sauced is definitely a place worth checking out. You won’t be disappointed.

BOCADO www.bocadoatlanta.com Head over to the westside and stop at Bocado. Bocado means “mouthful” in Spanish. The name speaks for itself. The atmosphere is absolutely beautiful. The menu is inviting and focuses on delicious meats, cheeses, and fish. Bocado has something for everyone.

Their “commitment to quality and to the farm-totable approach starts in there own backyard with a sustainable garden featuring fresh herbs.” I highly recommend the chesapeake flounder with succotash, elephant garlic, and vidalia onion vinaigrette. I would also suggest that you make reservations in advance.

The restaurant is small and fills up pretty quickly. You don’t want to miss out on this unique experience. Her stomach will thank you later.

After dinner, grab a drink and Looking for something dance off those calories at some of relaxing? my favorite spots: Instead of barhopping, visit:

AURUM

PIEDMONT PARK

www.aurumlounge.com

It is close. It is beautiful and... It is FREE. Pack a lunch or dinner, find a cozy spot for you and your special someone, and enjoy the outdoors.

Aurum is a great spot right in midtown to stop in and have a cocktail. The atmosphere is contemporary, the lighting sets the perfect mood, an the bartop itself is gorgeous. “With posh seating, specialty cocktails, and light bites, Aurum has quickly become the premiere spot for Atlanta’s most discerning sophisticates.”

BELISSIMA Off Amsterdam Avenue you will find my favorite lesbian bar. The ambiance is blissful, the atmosphere is modern, the bartenders are friendly, the drinks are great, and they host of the of best comedy shows in Atlanta every Thursday. Stop by Bellissima on Thursday nights to check out Brady Smith and the gang for the comedy show, grab your girl and drink, and laugh til’ it hurts!

MJQ

ART SHOWS/ WALKS Atlanta is home to many amazing galleries. Some of my favorites include: The High, Youngblood, Kai Lin, Beep Beep, and The Contemporary. Check out www.artrelish.com or www.burnaway.com to check out what is happening in the art community right here in Atlanta. Take advantage of what Atlanta and its emerging artists have to offer.

I hope you all had, or have, a very special Valentine’s Day with the one you love. Hope you all get a chance to check out the spots I have listed, and like them as much as I do. Have a great week!

www.mjqatlanta.com MJQ is my favorite spot in Atlanta hands down. It is great to stop by on the weekends, but Wednesday night it is the place to be. Its grungy, artsy, laid back, fully equipped with PBR, and it has the best DJ and dance party in Atlanta. If you and your woman love to dance, love great music, and are looking for a place to let your hair down and get sweaty on the dance floor-- check out MJQ. You will be hooked. See you on the dance floor!

Hey guys. I am sorry if this week’s Vagitarian looks a bit familiar, but I am unfortunately unable to create a fresh one because I am currently in the hospital recovering. I’ll try my best to have a speedy recovery. Tune in next week to learn more about some of the hottest tattoo artists and shops in Atlanta. Meet some local artists, and read the stories behind some of my all time favorite tattoos done right here in Atlanta. Have a good week and take care of yourselves. davidatlanta davidatlanta 51

Horoscopes Aries Your eagerness to embrace new tech and gadget-toys is peaking now, though you may also have budgetary concerns. It’s a balancing act, but your inner child is likely to take the initiative.

SAGITTARIUS Though most other people are pretty intensely social right now, you may be better off flying solo. Your levels of trust aren’t all that high, though they should return to normal before long.

TAURUS You’re feeling a little off-balance lately, but it might not be a bad thing at all!

Your energy is directing you in some uncomfortable ways, but the end results are likely to make you smile.

CAPRICORN You’re dealing with some serious flakes this week -- and not just during breakfast!

Expect delays and interruptions as flighty people suddenly remember their responsibilities. Take care of your own needs first.

GEMINI If you’re racing around like a maniac all week long, that’s just part of the fun. Your energy is just about perfect and you may find that your friends and colleagues are wiling to pick up after you.

AQUARIUS Romance is heating up for you right now, no matter what your situation was like last week. Fights dissolve into memory, new flames kindle or old ones reignite with new intensity.

CANCER It’s hard to tell who’s right lately -- there are too many competing voices! It may be a good idea to do your own thing until you run out of inspiration, then just hide out or go home.

PISCES You may find it hard to balance opposing points of view lately -- but that doesn’t make it any less important! Try to draw on your own inner conflicts in order to make sense of the rest of the world.

Leo Talk things over with your partner or colleagues at work -- you may be surprised just how close you are to the same goals.

Now is a good time for working together, but only once you’ve talked.

VIRGO You need to review your work -- but that comes naturally to you. It’s a good day for you to step back from the planning and look at how everything seems to fit together. Look with fresh eyes.

LIBRA Your mental energy is riding high right now, and you’re almost certainly able to hatch a few new schemes or dream up new inspiration for a part of your life that has been flagging somewhat lately.

SCORPIO It’s hard to keep up with all the details this week, but you know it’s essential that you do. Read every word of the fine print and get some help if you can’t make sense of it all on your own.

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Family Poker 7:30pm

TUESDAY

FEATHERS & FLESH BURLESQUE REVUE 11pm

Intermediate 2 Step @ 8-9

WEDNESDAY Dance Lessons @ 8-9 Ladies Night

THURSDAY

Sugar Baby’s Trailer Park Revue-10pm

FRIDAY

Dance Lessons @ 8-9

SATURDAY

MONDAY

1/2 Price Appetizers 11am-8pm-Blake’s Wild Card Show-11pm Karaoke 10:30pm

3 LEGGED COWBOY Drag On The Edge Show 11pm Family Feud 11:30pm

Free Pool Let’s Make A Deal

Smirnoff Martini Night

Karaoke with Brett & Tyler 10pm

Best Drag Shows In Atlanta 11:30pm

Got Leche? 10pm - Hot Latino Dancers

Club Nights-DJ Dance Party

Bartenders Ray & Cory Serve it up!

HOT NIGHTS With Jasen Happy Time With Daniel and Donnie and Terry

Best Drag Shows In Atlanta 11:30pm

Club Nights-DJ Dance Party

Karaoke with Brett & Tyler 10pm

Open @ Noon with Bob Brewer

DJ Yes Sir Spins Rock 9pm

Karaoke 8pm

Themed Parties Reto DJ’s

Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30PM

Open 5pm - Boys Room Party - Themed Party Love DJ

Free Tacos! All The Fixins! 3:30 pm to gone!

Dance Party Hot Mess 9PM Differnt DJ Every Week

Dragnique Talent Search Competition. Doors Open Special Guest DJs Dance 9:30pm. Dance Party Party Follows

Boys Night OutNight Hot Mandatory Dress Code AZUCA-Latin Guest DJs-Dance Special Guest DJs-Dance Beats with DJ SpecialParty Party Or Go Shirtless-DJ Latin Tribal 10pm Party 10pm Karlitos 10pm Lydia Prim 10pm

3D Thursdays Disco & Dazzle with Diva Jasen

80s Music with Travis- Karaoke with Mikey-Tim’s Tim’s Black Jack Black Jack

Princess Charles’ Fashionistas Show 11:30pm

Texas Hold’Em Poker Meow Mix Jealouse’s Daring Divas 7pm-The Shawnna Factor Kitty LeClaw’s Show 11pm Show 11pm Show 11pm

BLAKE’S Karaoke 10:30pm

FELIX’S Afternoons with Jasen 2pm

Time Warp 70s 80s 90s Music with Paul-Dance Floor Open 10pm

Rock Music-Free Pool with Tony

FRIENDS ON PONCE S.I.N. Night with Brian Dance Floor Open 10pm

Comedy TV-Free Pool with Tony

BURKHART’S

THE EAGLE

HERETIC Stars of the Century Show 11pm

EINSTEIN’S

JUNGLE

CJ Hosting Mary-Oke @ 10pm

Poker Night 9pm

Dragamundo (formerly Dragamaki) with Bubba D. Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30pm Licious and guests Open 5pm - DJ Va Jay Jay Spins

Robert & Michael serve up their Best!

LAS MARGARITAS MARY’S

Karaoke 9PM

Open 6:30pm - $10

Always a Party! Wyatt, Gary & Elvis serve up their Best!

Open 6:30pm - $10 - Hot Naked Men and Big Cocktails

Service Industry Night!

Discounted Drinks!

Show Tunes & Glee 8pm 2-4-1 Door & 2-4-1 VIP Room

Cookout 2pm

2-4-1 VIP Room

MODEL T OSCAR’S

$5 Cover After Midnight

Show Dance Party Karaoke with Darlene 9pm Laser with DJ Steve Lynch

SWINGING RICHARDS TRIPP’S BAR

Chris Coleman Presents “Indulge” 9pm-Midnight

Taco Buffet 5pm

MIDTOWN W

SUNDAY

Sunday Brunch 12-3-DJ’s Bill Berdeaux & Daryl Cox Spin All Night

Sunday Spectacular Show 9pm

Bloody Mary & Mimosa Wallet Pleasers

All You Can Eat Brunch 11AM-3PM

Sunday Dinner 3pm

Complimentary Buffet 3pm-Karaoke 7pm

*See Guide on Page 62 for Locations

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LA CHAPARRAL

Bartab Nightlife Guide

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Gay Atlanta Guide

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1. Amsterdam 502 Amsterdam Ave. 404-892-2227 myspace.com/amsterdamatlanta

20. Mary’s 1287 Glenwood Ave. 404-624-4411 www.marysatlanta.com

PRIVATE SOCIAL CLUBS 40. Eros 2219 Faulkner Rd. 404-287-4482

2. Bellissima 560-B Amsterdam Ave. 404-917-0220 myspace.com/bellissima_lounge

21. Mixx 1492 Piedmont Rd. 404-228-4372

41. Manifest 2103 Faulkner Rd. 404-549-2815

22. Model-T 699 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-872-2209 www.modeltatlanta.com

Atlanta Tourist Spots

3. Blake’s on the Park 227 10th St. 404-892-5786 myspace.com/blakesonthepark 4. BJ Roosters 2345 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-634-5895 www.bjroostersatl.com 5. Bulldogs 893 Peachtree St. 404-872-3025 6. Burkhart’s 1492-F Piedmont Rd. 404-872-4403 www.burkharts.com 7. Chaparral 2715 Buford Hwy. 678-886-3205 8. Club Europe 4001 Presidential Pkwy.

770-452-1240 www.thelionsdenatlanta.com 9. Club Opera 1150-B Crescent Ave. 404-872-1150 www.operaatlanta.com 10. Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-873-2453 www.atlantaeagle.com 11. Felix’s 1510-G Piedmont Rd. 404-249-7899 12. Friends On Ponce 736 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-817-3820 www.friendsonponce-atl.com 13. Gilbert’s 219 10th St. 404-872-8012 www.gilbertscafe.com 14. Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-325-3061 www.hereticatlanta.com 15.HOBNOB 1551 Piedmont Ave. 404-968-2288 16. Joe’s on Juniper 1049 Juniper St. 404-875-6634 www.joesatlanta.com 17. Jungle 2115 Faulkner Rd. 404-844-8800 jungleclubatlanta.com 18. LeBuzz 585 Franklin Rd. (Marietta) 770-424-1337 www.thenewlebuzz.com 19. Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-873-4464 www.lasmargaritasatl.com

23. My Sisters Room 1271 Glenwood Ave. SE 678-705-4585 24. New Order 1544 Piedmont Rd. 404-874-8247 25. Opus 1 1086 Alco St. 404-634-6478

A. Atlanta Botanical Gardens B. Atlanta History Center C. Atlantic Station D. Centennial Olympic Park E. CNN - Atlanta F. Fox Theater G. Georgia Aquarium H. Georgia State Capitol I. High Museum of Art J. Margaret Mitchell House K. The Atlanta Opera and The Atlanta Ballet L. The Atlanta Symphony Orchestra M. Virginia-Highlands N. World of Coca-Cola O. Zoo Atlanta

26. Oscar’s 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE www.oscarsatlanta.com 27. Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr. 404-352-0532 www.swingingrichards.com 28. 3 Legged Cowboy 931 Monroe Dr. 404-876-0001 www.3leggedcowboy.net 29. Tripps 1931 Piedmont Cir. 404-724-0067 30. Woofs 2425 Piedmont Rd. 404-869-9422 www.woofsatlanta.com 31. 91 91 Broad Street SW 404.581.0577 www.91below.com GYMS/SPAS/BATHS 32. FLEX 76 - 4th St. NW 404-815-0456 33. Gravity Fitness 2201 Faulkner Rd. NW 404-486-0506 34. Workout Anytime 2140 Peachtree Rd. 404-351-3264 RETAIL/BOOKS/DVDS 35. Atlanta Leather Company 2070 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-320-8989 36. Brushstrokes/Capulets 1510 Piedmont Ave. 404-876-6567 37. Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Rd. 404.873.2264 www.boynextdoor.biz 38. Outwrite Bookstore & Cafe 991 Piedmont Ave. 404-607-0082 39. Poster Hut 2175 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-633-7491

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CLUB ARGOS 1923 WaltonWay-706-481-8829www.clubargos.net THE FILLING STATION @ The Parliament Resort 1258 Gordon Highway-706-828-7400 www.gayaugusta.com/thefillingstation

MACON

KAOS 2780 Riverside Drive – 478-621-0662 www.kaosmacon.com SYNERGY 425 Cherry Street – 478-755-9383

SAVANNAH

BLAINE’S 13 East Perry Street-912-233-6765 www.blainesbar.com CHUCK’S BAR 305 West River Street-912-232-1005 CLUB ONE 1 Jefferson Street-912-232-0200 www.clubone-online.com UNADILLA The Lumberyard @ Lumberjacks Resort 50 Highway 230-1-877-888-1688 www.lumberjackscampground.com

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TENNESSEE

AUGUSTA

CHATTANOOGA IMAGES 6005 Lee Highway-423-855-8210 www.mirage-complex.com CHUCK’S 27 W. Main Street- 423-265-5405 ALLAN GOLD’S 1100 McCallie Avenue-423-629-8080f

AL ABAMA

G EO R G I A

Out of Town Directory BIRMINGHAM THE QUEST 416 24th Street South-205-251-4313 www.the-quest-club.com OUR PLACE 2115 8th Avenue S. 205-715-0077 JOE’S ON SEVENTH 2627 7th Avenue South- 205-321-2812 www.joesonseventh.com

DOTHAN

CLUB IMAGINATION 4129 Ross Clark Circle 334-792-6555

MONTGOMERY

CLUB 322 322 N. Lawrence Street - 334-263-4322

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Atlanta A to Z

By David C. Muller

EPISODE THIRTY-EIGHT:

“N is for Natalie”

Once upon a time Luke went to a palm reader in Gwinnett County.

The palm reader told him, “You must move to Atlanta, Luke, for you will find love there.”

On Tuesday, Luke went with Natalie, his next door “I’m not just a girl, Luke.” Consuela raised neighbor, to Einstein’s on Juniper to have lunch. a glass and spilled Syrah, “I am a lesbian.”

Natalie said, “I hope you don’t mind that I invited “So,” Natalie pulled out a chair and some friends of mine to join us.” motioned for Luke to sit next to her, “what sort of

In contrivance, Luke replied with a smile, lesbian discussion are we lesbians having today?”

“Any friend of yours is a friend of mine.” T u r n e d “How many times do I have to tell all of out Luke had met these friends before; seated around you? I’m not a lesbian!” the table and sipping from glasses filled with Merlot At the other end of the table, Luke saw a and Cabernet were four women: each one of them a beautiful svelte woman dressed primly in tight black. lesbian.

He knew her name was Suzette: the same buxom

“Luke,” Natalie held out her arm in beauty that had dumped Heidi in Episode 36. In greeting, “you remember my friend from Mexico?”

Episode 37, Suzette stormed out of Blake’s on the Park

“Yes,” Luke nodded at the petite Latina, the very second she saw Heidi emerge from the men’s “the girl that bought the green card; I remember. Good room and, now, she said: to see you again, Consuela.”

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“My time with Heidi was a phase, a brief, passing phase. I was young and vulnerable; a college student. I was confused. I was caught up in the moment but I’m not a lesbian anymore.” Suzette declared: “I like men now.”

“Who are you trying to fool, white girl?”

Shaquifah, the black lesbian, sat across from Luke.

“You know you is a fish-licking, muff-sucking, fingerf*cking lesbian dyke.” Shaquifah scoffed at Suzette, “Heidi used to tell us about your tongue bearing down on her labia. How could you not be a lesbian and do that? That sort of oral trickery takes experience, don’t it, Ping-Pong?”

Ping-Pong, the Asian lesbian, sat next to Shaquifah. Dressed like a school girl in a uniform that included a pleated plaid skirt, Ping-Pong nodded, “Ni hao.”

“And Ping-Pong would know,” Shaquifah winked, “she’s been toying with my dark pussy for weeks now. Ain’t that right, my cherry blossom?”

Ping-Pong nodded again, she only has one line in this particular episode: “Ni hao.”

“As a lesbian,” Natalie turned to Suzette with pensive concern, “what I don’t understand is why you were with Heidi for such a long time if you’re not really one of us. Heidi is such a lumberjack bear of a woman. I saw a gay man mistake her for another gay man when we went last Friday to the Heretic for Primal Urges with resident DJ Lydia Prim.”

“I’m not actually a lesbian and besides,” Suzette shrugged, “Heidi is a crazy dyke bitch. That’s why I dumped her at your party two weeks ago.”

“You are a lesbian, Suzette.” Shaquifah pounded her black fist down on the table, “And, as a proud, black, African-American lesbian, I forbid you to go back to men.”

“Yes, listen to Shaquifah,” Natalie leaned in to whisper at Suzette: “Men are evil. I hate men, Shaquifah hates men and so does Ping-Pong. Melanie hates men, too. She thinks they are all evil and stupid.

That’s why Melanie is a lesbian and proud of it.”

“I think men are tremendous.” Suzette spoke out loud, “I like men and I like penis. I don’t want to suck on a vagina. I want to eat a penis!”

“Oh heavens!” Shaquifah fanned herself with a menu, “White girl is possessed. She don’t know what she’s sayin’!”

“Luke, you understand me, don’t you?”

Suzette pleaded with our hapless hero, “Please, Luke; tell these lesbian dykes about the glorious rod that is a penis. Tell them about the joys of sucking dick, playing with it and getting f*cked by it. Tell them, Luke; tell them how much you love to ride cock.”

“Don’t listen to her, Luke.” Natalie touched his arm to cut him off, “Don’t let Suzette fool you, she is a true lesbian. She knows, deep down inside, that she prefers the warm fleshly carpeted slit that is the envelope of womanly lust. She knows what it’s like to worship the pagan goddess Diana.” Natalie turned to sneer at Suzette, “Heidi told us all about your lesbian proclivities.”

Luke was shocked by these frank expressions of lesbian lust. He glanced over the Einstein’s menu but suddenly shrimp and grits tempted his appetite no longer and he turned to look out at the cars flying south on Juniper. That’s when Luke saw Heidi; the lesbian Suzette had dumped two weeks ago; walking up between the tables set up on the front patio.

“OhmiGod!” Luke gasped and turned back to the table, “Heidi, she’s right outside. I think she means to come in here!” He looked at Suzette, “Maybe you should hide?”

Suzette glared at the other lesbians seated ‘round her, “Which one of you dyke bitches told Heidi I would be here today?”

Natalie shook her head, “I have no idea.”

Shaquifah shrugged her shoulders, “Don’t look at me.”

And Ping-Pong remained demure: “Nihao.”

“Oh no!” Luke said, “I think Heidi just walked in.”

Heidi had, in fact, just walked in to Einstein’s. Luke recognized her; Heidi had a tattoo on her arm: “I k.d.” She immediately spotted Suzette sitting at the table with Luke, Natalie, Shaquifah and Ping-Pong.

“Suzette!” Heidi lunged across the table, knocking over packets of sugar and a salt and pepper shaker. She grabbed Ping-Pong’s wine glass and hurled the Pinot Noir right into Suzette’s face, “You evil heartbreaking bitch! I want you back, you c*nt!

Come back to me, you hear me?” Heidi shouted in desperation, “Come back to me now!”

Suzette shoved away from the table, “Back the f*ck up, Heidi, or I’ll get a restraining order!”

Heidi grunted, “As God as my witness, Suzette, I vow to win you back or I swear I will DIE trying!”

Luke and Shaquifah joined forces and subdued Heidi and her large, massive bulk.

“Now you calm down, Heidi.” Shaquifah got her in a head lock, “Don’t you make a big lesbianlike scene in this here restaurant.”

In a bizarre twist that will make much more sense next week, three police officers: one black, the other two white; entered the scene. They came up to Shaquifah and flashed some badges and guns:

“Shaquifah Beauregard? You are under arrest for violating federal anti-immigration laws. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will…”

Luke shook his head and said, “Can’t wait till next week!”

Tune in next week for another installment of “DYKE vs. DYKE” in EPISODE THIRTY-NINE: “The Big ‘O’” “ATLANTA A to Z” would LOVE to hear from you! QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, SUGGESTIONS: We welcome your feedback!

Send us an email at: AtlantaAtoZ@DavidAtlanta.com AND AtlantaAtoZ@Gmail.com

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Biography: Pat Scott

For me, the biggest compliment I can receive is when at the end of the night; a shirtless, sweatsoaked, soul comes to the booth to tell you: “…I haven’t danced like that in years!” I want my crowd to have fun, that’s job number one.

F

or seventeen years, DJ Pat Scott has been entwining eclectic beats and stunning vocals.

Pat has played at many clubs across the United States, as well as international venues.. “I really love how the dance genre brings people from all cultures together.

Pat is the resident Dj at The Atlanta Eagle and a regular Guest Dj at MIXX Atlanta.

Pat also make it a priority to give back to the community. He regularly plays charity events for CHRIS kids (a gay youth support organization), Pets Are Loving Support (P.A.L.S.), The Atlanta Bucks Rugby Club, Atlanta Field Day, Atlanta Gay Softball Leagues, and several others. “Each of these organizations makes community service a focal point of their organization, and I’m honored to be a part of it!”

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As a DJ/Producer, Pat sees opportunity to learn from everyone. “It’s exciting to me how with a simple beat or counter melody a DJ or producer can alter the entire feeling of a track; …” “it’s best exemplified by bands like the Pet Shop Boys who, by the way are my biggest inspiration….”. While, I don’t get to go out as much as I’d like, I really enjoy going to hear my friends play all over the city.

I don’t particularly subscribe to a “type” of dance music. I love it all! Especially when you can take the crowd through a journey of current tracks mixed up with some old school ones; moving from light and happy to dark and dirty!

For me, the biggest compliment I can receive is when at the end of the night; a shirtless, sweat-soaked, soul comes to the booth to tell you: “…I haven’t danced like that in years!” I want my crowd to have fun, that’s job number one.

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THE “ARTIST TO WATCH” FOR 2011; SELF-TITLED ALBUM TO BE RELEASED MARCH 15TH MAJOR SLATE OF TV PERFORMANCES SCHEDULED, INCLUDING LETTERMAN, CARSON, KIMMEL AND THE LOGO AWARDS OH LAND KICKS OFF NORTH AMERICAN TOUR MARCH 5TH WITH OMD (New York, NY) – Heralded by critics as the “Artist to Watch in 2011,” Epic Records recording artist Oh Land will release her self-titled debut album March 15th. Oh Land has unveiled a jampacked schedule leading up to the release including national television appearances, a string of SXSW dates and a much-anticipated first-ever North American tour with OMD kicking off on March 5th.

Oh Land is without question one of the most talked about new artist for 2011, landing on many critics’ must-listen lists in advance of her highly anticipated debut album. The eleven song album is a mix of lavish loops and layered vocals that pound through on songs like the album’s first single “Sun of a Gun.” The jungle drumming electro-pop of songs like “White Nights” evokes a quest to find peace and a sense of home in the chaos of a city that never sleeps. The speaker-panning samples and honeyed hooks of Dan Carey (The Kills, Franz Ferdinand, Hot Chip) and Dave McCracken (Depeche Mode, Beyoncé, AFI) along with Oh Land have created an album of rich harmonies, beautiful symphonic arrangements over the enchanting voice of Oh Land.

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“This album is all of my secrets, wishes, dreams and fears,” explains Oh Land. “I tell stories from my life wrapped in fairytales and fables all happening in the dreamy landscapes of a world I call Oh Land. I hope people will find an escape in the music and let their thoughts and dreams run wild, just for a moment.”

A series of television appearances have been scheduled, kicking off with her debut performance on the CBS “Late Show with David Letterman,” on March 2nd followed by NBC’s “Last Call with Carson Daly” with more to be announced soon. Oh Land is also set to take the stage at Logo’s Network’s “NewNowNext Awards” 2011 where she is nominated for “Brink of Fame: Music Artist.”

March will mark Oh Land’s triumphant return to SXSW week in Austin, Texas (where she was discovered in 2009) with over 10 performances including Fader Fort, Billboard Showcase and Perez Hilton Showcase.

In other news, VEVO selected Oh Land as part of their groundbreaking emerging-artist platform, LIFT, which produces exclusive interviews, behind-thescenes footage, video premieres and intimate live concerts over the course of 8 weeks delivering over 150 million impressions to Oh Land videos on YouTube.

In addition, Oh Land won “MTVU’s Freshmen Five” artist contest charging her debut music video for “Sun of a Gun” into rotation.

For additional news and information, please visit www.ohlandmusic.com.

Oh Land Album Track Listing 1 Perfection 2 Break the Chain 3 Sun of a Gun 4 Voodoo 5 Lean 6 Wolf & I 7 Human 8 White Nights 9 Helicopter 10 We Turn It Up 11 Rainbow Oh Land with OMD Tour: MARCH 5 Toronto Phoenix Concert Theater 6 Montreal Le National 7 Boston, MA Paradise Rock Club 8 New York, NY Terminal 5 10 Washington, DC 9:30 Club 11 Pontiac, MI Crofoot Ballroom 12 Chicago, IL Park West 14 Atlanta, GA The Loft 20 Dallas, TX Granada Theater 22 Denver, CO Bluebird Theater 23 Salt Lake City, UT The Depot 25 Los Angeles, CA Henry Fonda Theatre 26 San Francisco, CA Fox Theatre 27 San Diego, CA 4th and B

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Protect Your Monster

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By Richard Marshall

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Bitch Session Another one bites the mother frakking dust.

Every time I open myself up just a little bit, I am quickly reminded why I closed myself off in the first place.

Some men just shouldn’t do drag. You look like butch lesbians, and it defeats the purpose. Your bar has so much potential; however, all you do is play the same tired old videos. I’ll spend my money elsewhere.

This is from a smoker to the whiney smoker who bitched about being ignored by his on- You are obsessed with your weight. You line friend because of smoking. WTF!?! Are should be more obsessed with fixing your face. you stupid?

Your damn boyfriend is just with you for your SSI check! Ugh, I hate your boyfriend. You can find way better. Hell, get on A4A. Really, RuPaul? These are the best drag queens you can find in all of America? Just plain sad. Bless their hearts.

To all you jerks out there who like to receive head but not give it, why don’t you do us all a favor and date each other?

Yes, that is an orange in my beer. Drink your Appletini and STFU. You say you hate Valentine’s Day, then I see you post pictures on Facebook from your Valentine’s Day date with your ex, which you failed to tell me about? Just when I thought I was done being hurt by you, you found another way to dig the knife deeper.

I miss the good old days of dating, when you could get to know someone over dinner or coffee. Now you have to get to know them online first.

If you leave early when we’re out drinking, If you’re looking for love, don’t date a rich don’t expect me home shortly afterwards. man. I’ve learned that even though they treat you well and say they love you, on occasion, they don’t. It’s all about them.

I’m enjoying my night out.

Big deal, you became key manager. No one cares that you carry around those keys.

Although there’s pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a f*#@ you! And f*#@ him, too!

Yes, a little red wine is reportedly good for you. However, pairing six glasses of it with two burgers and two orders of fries is not what the doctor ordered.

You say your parents don’t know you’re gay?

Hello, you are pushing forty and you’re a big FEM. They know!

Everyone at the bar was plain ugly. I would have more fun at home watching Planet of the Apes.

If you’re going to dump someone, know what you’re doing and act accordingly. Don’t get all wishy-washy and screw with their heads while you try to decide what you want, or run back to them when you discover you miss the attention.

Gotta Bitch?

? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitc ch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? ? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitc ch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch?

Text it to 404.969.BTCH(2824) 78 davidatlanta

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