David Magazine | Atlanta Issue 616

NOVEMBER 3, 2010

ISSUE 616

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DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE 1874 Piedmont Avenue 390-C Atlanta, GA 30324 Mon-Fri 9:30am-6:00pm Phone: 404.418.8901 Fax: 404.418.8901 ext. 7 www.davidatlanta.com mail@davidatlanta.com

publisher Matt Neumann

matt@davidatlanta.com

creative director Knyckolas Davis

knyckolas@davidatlanta.com

photography Toren Moore Brian Sawyer Matt Neumann

november 3, 2010

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28 essentially major 30 momma mona 32 la nota rosa 48 music spotlight 50 brent star report 56 atlanta a-z seen@ guides

atlantaatoz@davidatlanta.com

sales and account management Bob Swanson bswanson@davidatlanta.com

graphic design Matt Neumann Tyler McEntyre operations and finance Brian Sawyer brian@davidatlanta.com

marketing & promotions Chip O’Kelley chip@davidatlanta.com

national ad rep Rivendell Media 908.232.2021

contributors

Brent Star Michael Jeffrey David Muller

Andrew Medlin Lucy Luis Chiruco

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58 horoscopes 60 bartab nightlife guide

62 gay atlanta guide

70 adult classifieds 78 bitchsession

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Opinions expressed by any writer appearing in this publication are not necessarily those of the staff, management, advertisers, organizations or persons appearing in this magazine.

No Part of this publication may be reproduced by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopy recording or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. The mention, appearance or likeness of any person, business, organization, or event in this publication is in no way to be taken as any identification of the sexual, social or political orientation of such persons, businesses, events organizations, staff, shareholders or owners of such. DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, errors or changes in information, events and schedules in ads, features or calendars. DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE reserves the right to reject or cancel any advertisement submitted. All copy, text, graphics, photo’s and illustrations in submitted ads are published with the understanding that the person and business’ submitting such are fully authorized and have secured proper consent for the use of images, graphics, pictures, names, logos and testimonials used in such ads and that DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE may lawfully publish the same. By submitting such materials, the advertiser agrees to indemnify and hold blameless DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE from any liability resulting from the publication of any such materials or images.

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Cover Story

Robyn Swede Songstress

Finds Her Way Back

Swedish dance queen returns with a triple scoop of goodies just in time for the holidays.

by D’A. L’Saint

P

op music has died. The more provocative, pussy-proud sound sitting in its place reeks of drag anthems and good-girl-gone-bad tunes. It’s an edgier generation: the androgynous age. It hasn’t felt the same since Lady Gaga candidly introduced herself as the openly bisexual upgrade of Britney Spears. It looked like the daybreak of a new pseudo-proof era.

The new age is less interested in lyrics and more attracted to hypnotizing beats and catchy hooks, leaving many artists to surrender their original sound for the something a little trendier. This is evidenced by allegations that dozens of performers (three or four versions of themselves later) have been ripping off unknown artists like Band-Aids just to stay current; think Rihanna’s “Rockstar 101.”

Enter: Robyn, the Stockholm-bred dancehall queen, who cut her teeth on 80’s pop music, and wrote her first song when she was 11.

“I don’t know if I was aware of [an emotional connection in music], but that’s what I connected to in people like Prince or Kate Bush.

I was listening to a lot of really commercial pop music as well, like Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson and Madonna. But my parents had a theater group, and I was always around people discussing performance and communication with an audience. That really shaped how I look at what I do,” said the Swedish song bird.

Her volatile thespian parents brought her on tour, where she was able to encounter a myriad of cultural influences. When the young teen began composing prototypical love ballads, she drew from her travels to create sensitive and thought-provoking lyrics. Many of these adult insights into love and commitment come from her parents’ tumultuous relationship, which she describes as ‘rotten.’ It turned out for the 16 davidatlanta

best though.

“I was lucky that I had that. When I got into the industry, I was really young and like all 16 year olds, you don’t really know what you want to do. Getting to where I am was a really natural thing. For people on the outside, it was a more drastic kind of change. But for me it was always there. It’s just that I was making my way toward it in an industry that’s not very open to change.”

Lyrics beyond her years, she incorporated soul into her electro-pop sound and rocked an platinum blonde bob (a la Andy Warhol) to set off her groovy, innovative look. She was positioning herself to become a world-class phenomenon and her queer fans were the first to herald her arrival. “[What I talk about] is what always defined gay culture, and that’s what defines a lot of cultures,” Robyn said. “But gay culture has always defined itself from that perspective — creating that space where you can be what you want to be.”

After decades of burning up the dance floors, the gays have created a space, claiming the electro-pop and disco music scene as their own. Eighties-heavy artists like Prince and Madonna nourished the queer crowds with supplemental tunes enabling unwavering pride in their culture.

Gaga is far from the original queer queen. Let’s not forget Donna Summers, Diana Ross and Grace Jones — ladies who belted drag anthems long before Gaga could walk in 10” heels. Now, Katy Perry, Beyoncé and Rihanna attest much of their success to their queer following, a market that has become excessively lucrative all across the world. The UK, in particular, has a culture rich in pop-obsessed homosexuals, because Euro-pop dance tracks sing to queer hearts and hips alike.

“Anyone who’s different — it makes you question what society is and what it makes you feel, so I always connected with the gay audience.” - Robyn Known for her sincere lyrics and mind-blowing club tracks, the 31-yearold is no stranger to the singles charts in Switzerland and the United Kingdom. In fact, if you blinked, you may have just missed her entire performance at this year’s MTV Video Music Awards. You’ll have to hit up YouTube to catch the short but sweet rendition she gave of her new hit single “Dancing on My Own.” She is the quintessential come-backartist. Built on pop ballads and eclectic instrumentals, it’s the sickening visual she secretes that has you ready to fall in love. She remains at the forefront with innovative videos and unapologetically vulnerable songs, seemingly ignoring the plague of fame-greedy pop tarts.

Instead, she plays inventor, after more than a decade of dealing with an industry that would rather give her a formula for success. Managing to keep a focus on relatable themes in her songs, she deals with being an outcast, being misunderstood, and heartache. Engaged and consistently drawing inspiration from her life and the experiences she endures (you can see it in song titles like “Bum Like You” and “Don’t Fucking Tell Me What To Do”, Robyn allows for her fans to easily connect with her dynamic spirit.

“Because that’s how life is. I mean, isn’t that how we all feel? Those are the things that everybody — or a lot of people, at least — think about. That’s what pop music is supposed to be doing, talking about those everlasting issues, like love, being on the outside, and feeling like you want to dance.”

Insiders chalk her commitment to this vision up to the reasons behind her split with Jive Records, her mother label. Record companies have a history of bumping heads with artists over bottom lines, stomping an artist’s freedom of expression because they don’t know how to brand a musician unless they’re easily presentable to the mass culture. The story plays like a broken record.

If Robyn hadn’t proved before that she’s not just another musician, she did when she left to start her own label that would focus solely on liberating her artistic abilities. The Swedish audience quickly latched-on to her 17 davidatlanta

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Cover Story

Continued

new unfiltered sound. Later that year, her selftitled fourth studio album garnished her a No. 1 album, three Swedish Grammys, and countless rave reviews from music connoisseurs. She was proving to be far from the stereotypical one-hit wonder, securing a loyal fan base, all without a major record deal.

Robyn has always had a strong emotional connection with her queer fans. By her sophomore album, she rolled out under her self-established label, Konichiwa Records, and evolved into a boundary-pushing purveyor of swaggering, post-modern electronica.

the spotlight for a bit, but her time away from the stage didn’t translate to time away from the studio.

“I got all these great songs, so why not?” she said. “It’s been five years since Robyn and I didn’t want to wait with a release until they are all recorded, so I decided to start putting them out right away. I also can’t wait to play live again and this enables me to tour and record at the same time. I just want to keep making music.”

It’s nearly impossible to be a pop star signed to an independent label, but she’s not the first one to raise the middle finger to label execs.

Take Pink, who signed to LaFace Records as a teenager and gained initial fame as an R&B act during the dawn of the millennium, then dropped “M!ssundastood” to worldwide recognition. It’s refreshing when an artist gives herself entirely to her craft, creating music that shows their flaws in an effort to relate to fans.

What’s so unique about Robyn is that she’s able to seamlessly mesh humor and humiliation in the same verse. Her long-awaited third album this year is set to release in American markets on November 29 with five new tracks to accompany the impeccable singles she’s already released this year. Robyn assures her fans she isn’t setting out to break new chart records; she just wants to make music. Her sound comes naturally, and she feels it’s time for the world to experience her artistry with no restrictions.

Much the same, Robyn announced she would release three consecutive albums under Konichiwa, and promised to focus on quality over quantity. The first, Body Talk, Part I, was released on June 7. Sure, she stepped out of

“It was never my goal to break some kind of a world record in how many songs I could release in a year,” she said. “Although I think it would count as a pretty good attempt, it’s been about the process for me.”

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Essentially Major

How Small of You

by Michael Jeffrey

My personal rule when penis shopping is pretty identical to what I look for in a good Sunday afternoon movie; it should be short enough to not feel cumbersome, yet have enough weight to keep my attention.

Now I have seen little dicks before and never once felt the urge to vomit, so please don’t take anything I’m about to say completely out of context. Little dicks are great. If it were publicly acceptable to wear a picture of one on a t-shirt I’d probably have a couple in my closet, that’s just how fond of them I am.

Maybe I should use another word all together since “little” clearly doesn’t give you a vivid picture of what I found lurking in the pants of the hottest guy I’d ever laid eyes on.

In fact, for all intents and purposes (and just so that no one confuses this as another shallow journal entry of a size queen) lets all close our eyes and collectively imagine trying to give head to a very enlarged and overly eager male clitoris.

If that won’t get you praying to the porcelain Gods then nothing will. You’ve got a stomach lining tougher than steel and I have the perfect man for you, if you so happen to be single.

We’d been out only twice before my discovery.

And like any respectable gay, I felt a test drive was in order before we reached our one week anniversary.

The appropriate gift for one week anniversaries – by the way – is one of those combo packs of condoms and lube found at any of our friendly neighborhood prevention agencies.

Don’t worry; I’m registered at them all.

By the end of our second date, the tension had reached its boiling point. He was an amazing kisser (check!). His home was actually just that and not some frat boy dorm room (check!). All of a sudden our clothes started flying off, and then … (insert the sound of chirping crickets here).

My best friend Chase has always said I have the uncanny ability of being completely comfortable in uncomfortable situations. She still tells the story of how I didn’t even flinch during a summer internship when our boss told 28 davidatlanta

an inappropriate up-the-butt joke at a huge staff meeting. Once the laughter died down and he realized his gaff, he turned immediately in my direction to say, “Sorry Michael, no offense.”

To which I calmly and succinctly responded, “None taken.”

This, however, was different. Lover of the anatomically incorrect wasn’t a skill I aspired to add to my resume anytime soon.

Still, after his not so big reveal we somehow managed another date the following weekend, better known as the most tenuous two hours of my life. I arrived fully prepared to start a smooth segue from the hot and steamy direction we were headed, towards a more mutually satisfying friendship.

Then the more we talked, the more I realized just how shallow I was being. All things penile aside, he was the closest thing to perfect I’d ever shared a one week anniversary with since Bush was in office. He picked the perfect restaurant, his jokes were actually funny, he was up on current events, and he even knew all the trashy stuff most well read people pretend to know nothing about.

By the time the check arrived I had completely abandoned my friendship escape plan and was prepared to begin a perfect, happy, sexless relationship just like everybody else.

Afterwards we were walking up Juniper, when I noticed something about his demeanor had drastically changed since dinner.

“Is everything ok?” I asked. He stopped walking and looked at me with the most conflicted expression I’d ever seen.

“Listen, you’re a great guy,” he said. “And I really feel like a jerk for even feeling this way, but I don’t think things are going to work out between us.”

What the hell? “Was it something I did or said,” I wondered.

“It’s just … it’s your height. I’ve been trying to get past it, but you’re really just not tall enough for me. No offense …” he said remorsefully.

Stunned, all I could say back was, well “none taken.”

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Re s p on s e

Momma Mona, I can’t believe you described what I went through after my father died! It had been about 22 years since I had left Lincoln when my younger sister got in touch with me to tell me dad had passed from a massive heart attack. My internal response was more a “so what?” but since it was my sister, I responded more for her.

Mom had passed away from breast cancer the year I graduated from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln in ’82 and then I left right after her funeral. Came to Atlanta and never looked back.

Like you, I’m glad that I agreed to go to the funeral. It was a bit of a shock to see how much he had aged, but he was still the meanest looking man. Death did not take that away. I shivered just a little, but was mostly glad to see him dead. Yes, a little satisfaction, but other than that, I didn’t think I felt anything. Breezed right through the funeral. It was good to see family and I looked up old college friends and reconnected there.

About a month or so later, I did just like you and woke up cursing him for everything he ever did to me! Just like you!! I didn’t know so much rage was inside! I thought I had left all that behind when I left, but obviously not. I also felt some sadness because I, too, cried. Not so much because he died, but more because of the relationship that could have been had he not………….let’s just say he treated me poorly.

I had not even thought about being grateful for the opportunity to scream and cry about my younger life and the father I never had until I read your story. I’m sure all that rage had to have leaked out in different ways in my own relationships. I think about that now.

Thank you for sharing last week. I feel much more normal now.

Not Grieving Son

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Dear Confused, I guess maybe my story does appear like a fast-forward grieving process. I think part of it is because I already had been grieving the loss of that relationship, as toxic as it was, for the past two years because that’s when I was asked not to call, visit or write because she viewed me as harassing her. This was not true, of course. My greedy younger sister and her loser husband had been brainwashing her Alzheimer’s ridden mind against me and everyone else so they would appear as her saviors and only recourse.

Sad, but true. Selfish greed happens more times than you would think with aging parents and their children.

Also, I had just recently completed 22-hours of brain optimization training and then did eight more hours the week after my mother’s death. This helped me to get in touch with my emotions and to focus for the first time in my ADHD life. I’ve cut my PhD writing projects down to just 3-6 hours instead of the painful entire day going late into the evening (10-13 hours). I am processing much faster, that’s for sure www.brainstatetech.com; David Bracey in Atlanta, 864-483-0560).

And lastly, I really did allow my feelings to just flow and purposefully so. In fact, my feelings are still trickling a little but pretty much from a grateful perspective. I want as much negativity out of me as possible.

A parent-child relationship runs deep. It is core to one’s very being whether we want to acknowledge it or not. When the relationship was positive or even neutral, one does much, much better than people who had…….. challenges. I’m feeling cleansed of much of my hurt, pain, rejection, abuse, “secrets”, and such caused by my mother, bless her heart (a small Southernese well-wish).

Momma Mona

Re s po n s e

Dear Not Grieving Son, Thank you for helping ME to feel a little more normal in regard to NOT grieving about a parent that treated me poorly through YOUR sharing! I knew I was not the only one out there living out this type of……..challenge, shall we say?

I am a big proponent of talk therapy and going to a professional counselor whenever the need arises. While it sounds like you are doing fine, I just want to throw this out there to anyone else who may not be able to release the stuffed in rage within.

Regrets are not healthy to ruminate about, either. I was at a conference where the speaker talked about regrets. He said regrets are like a bowel movement. Sure you look back just to see what it looks like, but you don’t stare.

Momma Mona

Hey Momma Mona, Enjoyed your honesty regarding the death of your mother. Given so many gays had to leave their birth family to come out, I’m thinking lots of peeps connect to that kind of anger against their parents. I went through something similar when my father died only it took me a few years to come to terms with his death. Yours was some quick grieving journey, though. From what you wrote, you went through quite a lot in what, 3 weeks? I’m just a little curious as to whether you sought counseling, did some additional meditating, something? I just can’t wrap my mind around a 3-week grieving process.

Confused

R e ad e r Qu e sti o n

Re ad e r Qu e st i o n

Ask Momma Mona

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La Nota Rosa

ACCIDENTE BIOLOGICO

by Luis Chiruco

Las personas se pasan la vida buscando respuestas a preguntas “trascendentales”: quién soy, para qué nací, por qué no puedo bajar de peso. Se nos va la vida en preguntarnos cosas cuyas respuestas en realidad no queremos saber.No son un misterio. De hecho, la facilidad misma de la respuesta la aleja kilómetros de la posibilidad de responderla, en el imaginario humano. Saber que no existimos por ninguna razón en particular, concluir que somos un accidente biológico, una casualidad afortunada es demasiado insoportable.

Preferimos pensar que no sabemos esa respuesta pero que se oculta por allí, detrás de un insondable muro de misterio cósmico.

La idea de ser un accidente es imposible de procesar. Debemos tener un objetivo, una razón que nos haga existir. No podemos ser así porque sí. El azar nos horroriza.Yo también me pregunto cosas todo el tiempo.

Y también tengo ese vértigo desagradable ante la respuesta que no quiero oír, que me niego a saber. Por razones como estas es que triunfa el pensamiento mágico en nosotros.

Es nuestro escape perfecto. “Hay más cosas en el cielo y en la tierra, bla bla bla”. A eso nos aferramos. A que haya más cosas.Nos interesa el Más Allá debido a que necesitamos que haya uno adonde ir cuando nos toque. Y además para tranquilizarnos pensando que los que amamos y se han ido, están de hecho en algún sitio. No puedo afirmar que sea así, pero tampoco puedo negarlo. La razón indica lo suyo, pero el pensamiento mágico es parte de la condición humana. Y no es desdeñable.Vivimos en una red de cábalas, signos a interpretar, retazos de magia con minúsculas, de ilusionismo cotidiano.

Tomamos como válidos sueños que se reinterpretan en números para ganarse unos pesos, pero lo cierto es que ocurre, y esa ocurrencia destruye la Ley de las Probabilidades, porque NO es muy probable que nuestros sueños anuncien el número que va a salir al día siguiente, pero ocurre con llamativa asiduidad. Casi podría decir, 32 davidatlanta

sin temor a exagerar, que cada día, alguien convierte en dinero un sueño interpretado al apostar al número correspondiente.Muestra y botón. Cosas como estas permiten intuir algo que gobierna los eventos del Cosmos.

Es como lo del número PHI. Pensamiento mágico. Repetimos ropa, posturas y gestos en cada partido de fútbol, emulando las que cometimos el día en que nuestro equipo ganó. Ese ritual es pura magia. ¿Resulta?

Alguna vez. Nunca lo suficientemente poco como para perderle el respeto. Tenemos el reflejo primitivo de respetar los rituales o prepararnos para afrontar las consecuencias de no hacerlo. No es malo. Sería rarísimo que hubiéramos superado eso.Estamos llenos de ritos mágicos. Nuestros gestos cotidianos son un catálogo de magias: simpáticas, parasimpáticas, por imitación, por negación. Nos hemos rodeado de lo sobrenatural y de tanto repetirlo se ha vuelto lo contrario: natural. Por eso si está por salir un viaje, no se dice antes para “no quemarlo”. Nadie razona esto: se hace y ya. Eso es magia.Vivimos rodeados de oscuridad. Si en verdad somos un accidente biológico, somos al menos uno muy complejo y entendemos una milésima parte apenas de las reglas que gobiernan la manera en que existimos, que nos relacionamos, que pensamos, comemos, copulamos o lloramos. Somos un mecanismo de una complejidad y una fragilidad asombrosa.

Pasamos por la vida como el borracho que cruza el río por unas piedras separadas y resbaladizas pero igualmente no se cae.

Somos la corporización del azar.No se si las respuestas de esas preguntas trascendentes existen. Se que algunos dicen saberlas y te cobran muy bien por revelarlas. Escriben libros y se hacen estrellas. Y después de firmar ejemplares en una librería coqueta de un barrio oligarca, se llevan alguna minita arrobada de admiración a mostrarle que aún lo más profundamente espiritual tiene su lado carnal, por donde empezar... got leche?

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Music Spotlight

PLAYING WITH THE QUEEN OF HEARTS

by Jorge Treviano

If there’s one thing Sariah knows how to do, it’s tell love stories. Not the kind where girl meets boy and they live happily ever after.

The east coast chick, whom fans have dubbed “The Queen of Hearts”, sings a more realistic, modern day love story; where girls hook up on one night stands and drink body shots off one another.

and I love it! Deep N Luv was about my first experiences when I moved to New York City.

“For so long, only bad girls talked openly about sex,” says Sariah. “I’m the first good girl to tackle the subject because believe it or not, we good girls enjoy it too.”

Basically, you were a gay man.

If her first track ‘Deep N Luv’ – a song that broke into Billboard’s top twenty this summer - was about partiers untamed, then her second track, ‘All About Sex’, is about partiers unashamed; those proudly dabbling in strictly sexual relationships.

(Laughing) I guess I am a gay man!

You obviously enjoyed clubbing.

I loved putting on my sexiest outfit and heading to the hottest club to hear my favorite song, dance all night, and fall in lust with a beautiful man.

I wish.

You go from Deep N Love to All About Sex. What kind of relationship is more damaging: one where you’re deep in love or one that’s all about sex?

It may be a sign of the times.

Today’s dancefloors are dripping with passion. Sariah aims to be the fire of nightlife and she wants her music to be its anthem.

Love brings excitement, joy, butterflies…but it also brings heartbreak, pain, and suffering. A sexual relationship brings instant satisfaction and lust, but it can also bring attachment if you’re not careful. So my answer would have to be, it depends on the individuals involved.

Why do you want to be the queen of nightlife?

Have you ever been in a relationship that was all about sex?

It is where my heart is. I love the passion, the freedom to express one’s self, the sexiness, the mystery, and the excitement of nightlife.

Who are some of your nightlife inspirations?

Deborah Cox and Whitney Houston.

What are the ways of club life every clubber must learn?

Every clubber must learn to talk the talk, walk the walk, and dance until the sun comes up.

How do you feel about comparisons to Britney?

They don’t bother me at all because she is a huge pop sensation. My fans are able to hear the difference when I sing my ballads and perform unplugged.

Your last track was Deep N Love. Was the song about a stripper?

That is the first time I have gotten that question 48 davidatlanta

Yes, it was great at first because everything was straight to the point and there were no questions asked. But once he began inquiring about my personal life, things got tricky.

How did it end?

I stopped returning his text messages.

What’s the deeper message behind All About Sex? Free love is totally legit. Don’t be ashamed to have a sexual relationship with that special somebody.

Is it possible to find love on the dance floor?

I found my “all about sex” man on the dance floor. I also found my first boyfriend on the dance floor. Most of my ballads are about him and his mysterious ways. That is a whole ‘nother album!

The Brent Star Report

Trick or Treat, Part 1 Trick or treat is all we really want on Halloween and quite frankly, most of us wouldn’t mind BEING a trick or someone’s…. treat! Don’t ask me where I was going with that but I must tell you I saw plenty of tricks and treats this past Halloween. Example of a trick: complimenting a guy’s Halloween costume wearing a “thriller” jacket and sporting a jheri curl only to find it WASN’T a costume. Example of a treat, to see this guy in a trench coat dressed as a “Flasher” only to find out that he really is butt ass naked under that coat…and excited AND dancing behind you! Anyhoo kids, this has been an exciting Halloween so far. I say “exciting” because more and more grown folks are dressing up each year for this even on The View! Every year I love to tune in to see what those whores are wearing (“so what, who cares”:--Joy Behar). Ok, so I started off at the Masquerade’s 80’s night where they had a theme for their costume party which was dress like one of the 7 deadly sins. I chose ‘sloth’ just so I can dress like Napoleon Dynamite in which my facebook friends seem to “like”.

Dj Chris Kind chose ‘greed’ showcasing his bling bling-ing it with the bedazzling solid gold necklace (solid gold spray paint) and money hanging out his pockets (which is also about as real as the cocaine I use for when I do my Whitney number…hmmm, here’s a thought: If someone switched the flour behind my back with a real 8 ball one day, would that be a trick or treat?). Again, after filling my pumpkin with all that eye candy of those hot bi sexual boys, I swung by Burkharts to check up on the Princess (as in Charles) and her FashionDONCHAs (as Shavonna B. Brooks would say with her crazy ass calling the black Barbie of Atlanta Destiny Brooks a man every Thursday night on and OFF stage!

Lol!!!!!! But Destiny know how to read the girls rrrrrrrrrrright on back ...and for filth!... but what I always ‘tell ya na, ‘don’t read the girls, read the Brent Star Report!)...or sorry, I was having a moment (listening to music from “Green” Day). So girl can I tell you Princess was truly wearing that supersonic velvet black tux jacket with matching GLOSSY black paint lipstick (she had to use atLEAST 2 gallons for all that lipage…talking about Thank You for being a Friend”! Ohhh Lawd, let me hurry up and finish this article). Ok so on FRIDAY, the witches and the warlocks of the night summoned me out to My Sisters Room to check out their monthly SUKEBAN party.

50 davidatlanta

Now THIS was my first TRUE Halloween costume party. WHEW! Girl, “this used to be my FUNHOUSE” was the thought that came to my mind when I walked up in! No one told me it was a “B-Movie Horror Halloween Party”, child imagine walking into a room that make you feel like you’re watching SAW in 4D! It was a cute crowd though. My girl, make up and rock glam artist Kaori, puts on this event.

Every month it’s a different theme (see, I told you in last week’s article that ‘theme parties’ are back IN…speaking of which, Tuesday night show at SHOUT is doing 80s theme in Nov.) Actually, I do need to do a Part 2 of this because I need to also talk about what happened in Macon, GA with that new club called “KAOS”. Now THIS club is pulling in the big names…they had RuPauls Drag Race Season One winner Ms. BeBe Zahara there last weekend child (doesn’t her name just do it for you, “Zahara”! I can’t help but to think about a SAFARIH with zebras and elephants running around everywhere.). It’s a nice size club, two big rooms, one makes you feel like ‘what happens in Vegas, STAYS in Vegas’ with all those slot machines and dirty hands. This bear-ly black man frisks you down when you walk in (I’m glad I left my gun in the car) but once inside, you see excited faces (I would be too because the Friday I went was the un official opening and I had to get in a line to get up in there). The next room is the dance floor where you can pop- drop- shake your grove thang-for all you single ladies! Circus Envy, The Legendary Jimmy James and Atlanta’s own Charlie Brown is there now. Well folks, I’m about to watch “It’s a great pumpkin, Charlie Brown”.

Until next week, don’t read the girls, instead read The Brent Star Report!

Where to catch Brent Star: Tuesdays at SHOUT, Saturdays at Tijuana Garage, Thursdays and Sundays once a month at Burkharts and everywhere else that pays!

51 davidatlanta

52 davidatlanta

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Atlanta A-Z

by David C. Muller

EPISODE TWENTY ONE:

D is for

Dubyah Once upon a time Luke went to a palm reader in Gwinnett County.

The palm reader told him, “You must move to Atlanta, Luke, for you will find love there.”

Luke called his friend Vesuvius St. Rene on his cell Luke fulfilled his civic duty on Election Day and, like any self-respecting gay person living in God Bless America, he voted for all the Democratic candidates and then an old, blue-haired lady gave him a sticker with the words “I voted!” written in black across a picture of a peach. As Luke was leaving the polling station, a man dressed in a dark suit with a red tie came up to him.

He said, “We’d like to speak with you about current voting trends. Are you interested?”

Luke had nothing better to do that day so of course he said, “Yes.” Luke was then taken to a luxury hotel suite somewhere in Midtown Atlanta. The room he was brought to was dark, the curtains were pulled and there was little light.

A shadowy voice greeted Luke: “Thank you so much, Sheikh Abdul Rachman Haka-el-Sud, for coming to meet me on such short notice, here in my luxurious suite at the top of this upscale hotel in Midtown Atlanta.”

“I think you’ve got me confused with someone else, sir. My name is Luke.”

“Luke, you mean; like; in the Bible?”

Luke recognized the voice instantly; he said, “Have we met before, sir? Your voice sounds very familiar.”

“Have you ever been to Washington, D.C.?”

“Yeah, once.”

“Were you in Washington, on the night of April 22nd, 2005, at about ten PM?” “No.” Luke said, “Unh-unh.”

“Then I assure you, sonny boy; we ain’t ever met before.”

56 davidatlanta

“Are you sure you can’t; like; turn on a light for a second?”

“No way Jose; unh-unh! I’m very discreet.”

Luke asked the man, “Do you have a name at least?”

“I have a code name!”

“So what should I call you?”

“Call me… ‘Dubyah!’”

“Dubyah?” Luke sat down in a chair, “As in double-U?” “As in ‘Walker’,” Dubyah laughed like a buffoon, “like ‘Walker Texas Ranger.’”

“Oh, well, in that case, none of this isn’t libelous or full of slander or anything like that; oh no!” Luke said, “Not at all!”

“So… uh…” Dubyah was eager to begin the proceedings, “what do you like to do?”

“That depends, sir.” Luke said, “I’d think you’re used to giving the orders rather than taking them.”

“You’d be surprised by what big old Dick could get me to do. If you didn’t follow his instructions just the like he said ‘em, he’d go high and to the right and shoot off in your face without warning!”

“What the hell are you doing in Atlanta?”

“Shh,” said Dubyah, “it’s a secret.”

“A secret, huh? You can tell me a little secret, can’t you?”

“You promise not to tell anyone? Not even your own mother?”

“Oh I promise, sure.” Luke nodded, “Whatever you say, Dubyah.”

“I’m here to meet up with Whitney’s dealer.”

“Whitney’s dealer?” Luke asked, “Whitney who?”

“Whitney Who-do-you-think? Texas has gone dry because of all them Mexicans comin’ in from Brazil and Peru and besides, her name starts with a ‘dubyah’ so she fits right into this episode.”

“Does she, now?”

“Uh-huh,” Dubyah nodded. “And that ain’t all. There’s more.”

Luke spoke flatly, “You’re kidding.”

“Jesus is here, too.”

“Jesus is here?” Luke scoffed, “Where, here; in this room?”

“He’s here in Georgia. This state is as red as Condi’s big black lips!”

“This state is purple and you know it.” Luke folded his arms across his chest, “You think the Good Lord Jesus is here in Georgia?”

“Not the Good Lord Jesus. The Good Lord Jesus is in Texas; everybody knows that. I’m talking ‘bout Baby Jesus. Little Baby Jesus is right here in Georgia.”

Luke narrowed his eyes, “I didn’t know there were different versions of Jesus.”

“There’s lots of Jesus! There’s Baby Jesus, Lord Jesus, Jesus on the Cross, Jesus on Trial, Jesus Raising from the Dead, Jesus Walkin’ on Water; Jesus and Mary, Jesus the Carpenter, Jesus on the Mount, Jesus and the Three Wise Men. Good LordI love me some Jesus! But,” Dubyah held up a bony finger, “Baby Jesus is here,” he pointed that bony finger at the floor. “He’s right here in Georgia.”

“And to think this is the wisdom that led the free world for eight years!” Luke thought about throwing his shoe across the room but, instead, he made a snide comment meant to further break the ‘fourth wall,’ he said: “You’re not down here looking for WMDs, are you?”

“WMDs?” Dubyah gasped, “They have those down here, too?”

“By George!” Luke shook his head, “Don’t you know the devil wore Prada when she went down to Georgia?” Luke winked at Dubyah, “I understand she wore a blue dress.”

“Now you listen to me, young man;” Dubyah said, “Let me be clear in my ambiguity, I do not engage in homosexual relations.”

“Stand up,” said Luke, “and take off your pants.”

“I have a wife and kids,” Dubyah stood up to strip down. “What would my two girls think of me if they saw daddy now?”

“You being a daddy is about as plausible as me fraternizing with a vampire last week.” Luke scoffed, “We going to get it on or are we going to pussyfoot all afternoon?”

Dubyah nodded his head knowingly; he said, “Oh you bet,” and then he…

I Roby

n

Tune in next week for some good ole’ shoe-throwin’ politico make-fun: Tune in next week to read EPISODE TWENTY TWO: “X is for X-Ray” 57 davidatlanta

Horoscopes Aries Things are moving more quickly lately.

That could mean you need to hasten in order to catch up, or it could be that people are starting to catch up with you.

In either case, you’ve got the right kind of energy.

Capricorn It feels like you’re surrounded by hummingbirds -- flitting around from place to place in search of sweetness.

You may not have much patience for that, but you can show your tolerant side if you want.

Taurus You’re taking the lead in something you might not have realized was a competition at first. Others know perfectly well, though, so if you want to maintain your position, you have to get more serious.

Aquarius You need to indulge your creative energy this week, though that’s not such a big challenge for you. See if you can get your colleagues to back you up when you propose something especially wacky.

Gemini You’re meeting tons of people lately, which is just how you like it. Make sure that you repeat their names a few times so you can keep track of them all, though they’re too charmed to care much.

Pisces Take a little extra care with your actions this week, though there’s no need for paralysis. You just have to remember that things are still up in the air, so that gives you plenty of time to check your work.

Cancer It’s too easy for people to misunderstand others lately, and that certainly goes for you as well. Make sure that you’re hearing folks right before getting angry or beginning bold new projects.

Leo Your group activities should be much more fruitful this week. Make sure that you’re at the lead, or at least close to it, so your guidance is taken as seriously as it ought to be. You’ve got what it takes!

Virgo Your work-related issues are causing a bit more stress than usual, but you should be able to get past them without too much trouble. In fact, your mental energy should be just about right for the week ahead.

Libra You’ve got a lot going on that nobody realizes quite yet, and you need to let it out. This week is perfect for making sure that you are fully engaged with whomever is sitting next to you -- even on marta!

Scorpio Before you sign anything, you need to read the fine print. That’s always true, of course, but you need to keep it firmly in mind this week as you look at anything from leases to credit slips. Pay attention!

Sagittarius People are getting weirder, though you may have thought that was impossible. It’s one of those weeks when you need to make sure that their foolishness doesn’t interfere with your plans.

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30 Amsterdam - Sunday Brunch 11:30am - 3pm Showtunes with a Twist 7pm 17 25 BJ Roosters - Male 34 Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am 40 33 35 Blake’s - Brunch Noon-3pm With Live Jazz – Armorettes 40 Show 8pm 36 41 Burkharts - Mary Edith Pitts Show @ 9pm 14 Club 91 - Lions Den Legendary Sunday’s DJ Sedrick &19 DJ Brooks Felix’s - Bloody Mary & Mimosa Wallet Pleasers 29 Friends on Ponce - Sunday Dinner 4pm Las Margaritas - All You Can Eat Brunch 11AM-3PM Model T - Falcon Football - Sunday Dinner 3:30PM 24 Tripps - Sunday Buffet 3pm Karaoke 7pm Woofs - Great Food, Drink & Good Times 6 11 21 26 36

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3 Legged Cowboy - Dance Lessons @ 8-9 Amsterdam - High Energy Videos 9pm Bellissima - Live DJ Entertainment BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Jealouse’s Daring Divas 11pm Burkharts - Mary Edith Pitts Show 11:30pm Club 91 - RT Parties brings you Klimaxx Dance Party with Miss Sophia (go go dancers) DJ Maestro, DJ Rick, DJ Scrilla spinning on two floors all night The Eagle - DJ Dance Party Felix’s - Karaoke with Brett & Tyler Friends on Ponce - Open @ Noon with Bob Brewer Heretic - Presenting the finest dance entertainment with the best local & nationally acclaimed deejays every week! Check our ad elsewhere in David for details! 10pm LeBuzz - Saturday Night Fever Show Mary’s - Dance Party Hot Mess 9PM Differnt DJ Every Week Mixx- Dance Party 10pm - 3am Model T - Free Tacos! All The Fixins! 3:30 pm to gone!

400 Party B - Sextasy Latino Night, Divas Show and DJ Dance Sanctuary Swinging Richards - Open 6:30pm - $10 7 Tripps - BBQ Cookout 1-5pm Woofs - Great Food, DrinkLIN & Good Times DB

SPRING ST.

T h u r sd a y

3 Legged Cowboy - Dance Lessons @ 8-9 - Ladies Night Amsterdam - Rita’s & Smirnoff Tini’s Special 27 Bellissima - Live DJ Entertainment C BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Texas Holdem Poker @ 7p - The Shawnna Factor @ 11p Burkharts - Princess Charles - Fashionistas 11:30pm Club 91 - Customer Appreciation FREE ALL NIGHT The Eagle - Dance Music $2.50 Schnapps Felix’s - Karaoke Friends on Ponce - HOT NIGHTS With Jasen and Donnie Heretic - Style Latin Tribal Beats & Live Bongos! 10pm Las Margarita’s - Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30PM LeBuzz - Ladies Night Shows Mary’s - Themed Parties Reto DJ’s Swinging Richards - 2-4-1 Night - Door Entry and VIP $10 Midtown W – Chris Coleman Presents “Indulge” 9pm-Midnight Mixx - Karaoke 9pm-1am Kamikaze Karaoke Contest 11-Midnight Model T - Robert & Michael serve up their Best!

Woofs - Meet and Greet for “Gathering Time”! Daily Food Specials

3 Legged Cowboy - Studs & Spurs - Shows at 10, 11, 12, and 1 Amsterdam - DJ Dance Party Bellissima - Live DJ Entertainment BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Kitty LeClaw’s Meow Mix 11pm Burkharts - Mary Edith Pitts Show 11:30pm Club 91 - It’s Bingo Bitch Hosted by: Auntie Snickers Chaparral - Got Leche? 10pm - Hot Latino Dancers The Eagle - DJ Dance Party & Club Night Felix’s - Bartenders Ray & Cory - Serve it up!

Friends on Ponce - Happy Time With Daniel and Terry Heretic - Armorettes Cabaret 3rd Saturday Of The Month 8-10PM Jungle - Party A Lo Maximo with DJ Karlitos & DJ Turz LeBuzz - Dance Party & Show Mary’s - Open 5pm - Boys Room Party - Themed Party - Love DJ Mixx - High Energy Music Videos 9pm-1am Model T - Poker Night Swinging Richards - Open 6:30pm - $10 - Hot Naked Men and Big Cocktails Tripps Bar - Laser Show Dance Party with DJ Steve Lynch Woofs - Great Food, Drink & Good Times

W. PEACHTREE ST.

3 Legged Cowboy - Intermediate 2 Step @ 8-9 Amsterdam - Get L.I.T. All Day Specials Bellissima - Karaoke 8pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Rated R @ 11pm - Half Price Apps: ALL DAY Burkharts - Karaoke Idol 10:30pm - Close Club 91 - The Main Event Cabaret & Talent Show Followed By DJ Rick The Eagle - Modern Family Night $3 PBR 18 Friends on Ponce - H.U.M.P. DAY With Jeremy, Ken & Daniel Heretic - Boys Night Out Dress Code party 10pm - 3am Las Margaritas - Karaoke 8pm LeBuzz - Hump Night & New Entertainer Showcase Mary’s - DJ Yes Sir Spins Rock 9pm Mixx - Texas Hold’em Poker 7:30 - 10pm Model T - Free Hot Dogs! $3 Draft Beer – Karaoke Night Oscar’s - Totally Wicked 80s Night Tripps - Taco Night - Free Tacos 5PM Swinging Richards - $5 Cover! Free VIP Lounge Entry Woofs - Woofs House Trivia starts at 8:00pm

S a tu rd a y

3 Legged Cowboy - Family Poker 7:30pm Amsterdam - Showtunes 9pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Twisted Trivia @ 9pm - starring The Lady Shabazz Burkharts - Karaoke 11:30pm Club 91 - Swagg Tuesday’s The Eagle - Karaoke $3.75 Well Drinks Felix’s - Smirnoff Martini Night Friends on Ponce - Enchanted Evnings With Ken & Donnie Heretic - Gay Film Festival with Paul @ 9:30pm.

Las Margaritas - Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30pm LeBuzz - Talent Search & Karaoke Mary’s - CJ Hosting Mary-Oke @ 10pm Mixx - Texas Hold’em Poker 7:30 - 10pm Model T - Always a Party! Wyatt, Gary & Elvis serve up their Best!

Oscar’s - Show Tunes Tuesdays 8PM Swinging Richards - No Cover Tuesdays!

Woofs - Free WII from 4:00 till close - Industry Night!!

S u n da y

Amsterdam - Video Request Night - Industry Night 9pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Drag on The Edge 11pm with Alexandria Martin Burkharts - Karaoke Idol 10:30pm - Close Club 91 - DJ Scrilla with MC Pretty Pandora’s Box (@91 Below) The Eagle - Bare Chest Night $3PBR Felix’s - Free Pool! Industry Night Friends on Ponce - Afternoons with Jasen 2pm Frogs - $1 Tacos 6-9pm Heretic - Brian May is pouring up stiff drinks - 10pm to 3 am LeBuzz - Man Dance Cabaret - GOGO Dancers - Drink Specials 8pm Mary’s - Open 5pm - DJ Va Jay Jay Spins Mixx - Live Pianist 9pm - 1am Model T - Service Industry Night! Discounted Drinks!

Woofs - Texas Hold’em 8pm

NORTHSIDE DR.

We d n e s d a y

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M o n d ay

Bartab Nightlife Guide

See Guide on Page 66 for Locations 10

12

PONC

22

S t i ck it wh ere it m

a differ akeS ence

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WWW.hopeclinic.emory.edu | vaccine@emory.edu hope…be a part of it. call 877-424-hOPe (4673) to learn more.

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Gay Atlanta Guide 400

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1. Amsterdam 502 Amsterdam Ave. 404-892-2227 myspace.com/amsterdamatlanta

20. Mary’s 1287 Glenwood Ave. 404-624-4411 www.marysatlanta.com

2. Bellissima 560-B Amsterdam Ave. 404-917-0220 myspace.com/bellissima_lounge

21. Mixx 1492 Piedmont Rd. 404-228-4372

3. Blake’s on the Park 227 10th St. 404-892-5786 myspace.com/blakesonthepark 4. BJ Roosters 2345 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-634-5895 www.bjroostersatl.com 5. Bulldogs 893 Peachtree St. 404-872-3025 6. Burkhart’s 1492-F Piedmont Rd. 404-872-4403 www.burkharts.com 7. Chaparral 2715 Buford Hwy. 678-886-3205 8. Club Europe 4001 Presidential Pkwy.

770-452-1240 www.thelionsdenatlanta.com 9. Club Opera 1150-B Crescent Ave. 404-872-1150 www.operaatlanta.com 10. Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-873-2453 www.atlantaeagle.com 11. Felix’s 1510-G Piedmont Rd. 404-249-7899 12. Friends On Ponce 736 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-817-3820 www.friendsonponce-atl.com 13. Gilbert’s 219 10th St. 404-872-8012 www.gilbertscafe.com 14. Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-325-3061 www.hereticatlanta.com 15.HOBNOB 1551 Piedmont Ave. 404-968-2288 16. Joe’s on Juniper 1049 Juniper St. 404-875-6634 www.joesatlanta.com 17. Jungle 2115 Faulkner Rd. 404-844-8800 jungleclubatlanta.com 18. LeBuzz 585 Franklin Rd. (Marietta) 770-424-1337 www.thenewlebuzz.com 19. Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-873-4464 www.lasmargaritasatl.com

22. Model-T 699 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-872-2209 www.modeltatlanta.com 23. My Sisters Room 1271 Glenwood Ave. SE 678-705-4585 24. New Order 1544 Piedmont Rd. 404-874-8247 25. Opus 1 1086 Alco St. 404-634-6478

PRIVATE SOCIAL CLUBS 40. Eros 2219 Faulkner Rd. 404-287-4482 41. Manifest 2103 Faulkner Rd. 404-549-2815

Atlanta Tourist Spots

A. Atlanta Botanical Gardens B. Atlanta History Center C. Atlantic Station D. Centennial Olympic Park E. CNN - Atlanta F. Fox Theater G. Georgia Aquarium H. Georgia State Capitol I. High Museum of Art J. Margaret Mitchell House K. The Atlanta Opera and The Atlanta Ballet L. The Atlanta Symphony Orchestra M. Virginia-Highlands N. World of Coca-Cola O. Zoo Atlanta

26. Oscar’s 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE www.oscarsatlanta.com 27. Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr. 404-352-0532 www.swingingrichards.com 28. 3 Legged Cowboy 931 Monroe Dr. 404-876-0001 www.3leggedcowboy.net 29. Tripps 1931 Piedmont Cir. 404-724-0067 30. Woofs 2425 Piedmont Rd. 404-869-9422 www.woofsatlanta.com 31. 91 91 Broad Street SW 404.581.0577 www.91below.com

GYMS/SPAS/BATHS 32. FLEX 76 - 4th St. NW 404-815-0456

33. Gravity Fitness 2201 Faulkner Rd. NW 404-486-0506 34. Workout Anytime 2140 Peachtree Rd. 404-351-3264

RETAIL/BOOKS/DVDS

35. Atlanta Leather Company 2070 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-320-8989 36. Brushstrokes/Capulets 1510 Piedmont Ave. 404-876-6567 37. Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Rd. 404.873.2264 www.boynextdoor.biz 38. Outwrite Bookstore & Cafe 991 Piedmont Ave. 404-607-0082

through

39. Poster Hut 2175 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-633-7491

63 davidatlanta

THE FILLING STATION @ The Parliament Resort 1258 Gordon Highway-706-828-7400 www.gayaugusta.com/thefillingstation

Te n n e sse e

AUGUSTA CLUB ARGOS 1923 Walton Way-706-481-8829www.clubargos.net

Synergy 425 Cherry Street – 478-755-9383 SAVANNAH BLAINE’S 13 East Perry Street-912-233-6765 www.blainesbar.com

Chucks 27 W. Main Street- 423-265-5405

BIRMINGHAM THE QUEST 416 24th Street South-205-251-4313 www.the-quest-club.com OUR PLACE 2115 8th Avenue S. 205-715-0077 JOE’S ON SEVENTH 2627 7th Avenue South- 205-321-2812 www.joesonseventh.com

CHUCK’S BAR 305 West River Street-912-232-1005 CLUB ONE 1 Jefferson Street-912-232-0200 www.clubone-online.com

DOTHAN CLUB IMAGINATION 4129 Ross Clark Circle 334-792-6555

UNADILLA The Lumberyard @ Lumberjacks Resort 50 Highway 230-1-877-888-1688 www.lumberjackscampground.com

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CHATTANOOGA IMAGES 6005 Lee Highway-423-855-8210 www.mirage-complex.com

Allan Gold’s 1100 McCallie Avenue-423-629-8080

Al a b a ma

MACON KAOS 2780 Riverside Drive – 478-621-0662 www.kaosmacon.com

MONTGOMERY Club 322 322 N. Lawrence Street - 334-263-4322

S u n da y

G e o rg i a

Out of Town Directory

65 davidatlanta

classifieds www.davidatlanta.com

FOR RENT

Home Improvements

Apartment for Rent

ANSLEY PARK-Unique 1400 Sq Ft, 2 BD/2 Bath and 2 BD/ 1 Bath in a house near golf course.

Central heat/air, washer/dryer/ fireplace, 15 Ft vaulted ceilings, crown molding, walk in closets, gourmet marble kitchen w/ island, wine rack, huge built in book shelves, off stree parking, deck/ patio, pets OK. From $900. Call 404.874.4642.

Roomate Wanted

Gay/ Gay Friendly Guy/Gal to share a large 4 bdrom Buckhead Townhouse with 2 gay men.

Furnished large bedroom w/private bath flatscreen TV, King size bed. All utilites & cable. Kitchen & Laundry Acrss. $750 Monthly. Good Credit & Ref’s a Must! Call 404.502.9989 10am - 7pm

Pets

Bulldogs for Adoption

English Bulldogs to good home. Registered, Vet checked, contact me at mpfamily202@gmail.com.

Cleaning Services

404.418.8901 opt. 2

Holiday Pet Reservations

Yes, Dogs age 7 times faster than people.

So your dogs day of exercise at the bark is like a whole week at the gym-only fun!

Book your holiday reservations today!

Piedmont Bark 404.873.5440 piedmontbark.com Atlanta Humane Society

The Atlanta Humane society has pets for adoption.

These animals are in desperate need of a home.

Visit www.atlantahumane.org for details on adoption.

Help Wanted

David Magazine Cares! We offer free help wanted ads to employers to help those in our community in need of jobs.

Email classifieds@davidatlanta.com

David Magazine

Positions Open Now Hiring

Sales/ Writers/ Photographers Email employment@davidatlanta.com

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Ads start at $15 weekly email classifieds@davidatlanta.com

classifieds

Licensed Massage

Notice to Massage Advertisers

Georgia law requires that massage advertisers must include a current business license number within their ad and should be prepares to provide photo identification and educational credentials to publisher upon request.

Close to Downtown

Relieve all your tensions from head to toe with a FULL-BODY massage. Evenings and weekends.

William 404.538.4470 MT011571

www.davidatlanta.com

Find it in the DAVID CLASSIFIEDS!

Advertise in David Magazine and Southern Voice Newspaper to spread your business. email sales@davidatlanta.com to learn more!

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SAME DAY PAY WE PAY REFERRALS HAVE FUN & MAKE MONEY

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MODELS WANTED Production Services Models Locations Ideas

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Bitch Session The only thing missing at gay bars is popcorn and theater seats.”

There is nothing wrong with you having sex with your boyfriend and his brother. There is something wrong with them.

Immobile is one thing.

Immobile and inconsiderate is another. Gas is not free, neither is your commute on Marta and CCT.

If you are afraid of being gay bashed don’t worry, some of us are man enough to cover your back!

Using the word “professional” is just the same as, “look at me, I’m almost a troll, but not quite there yet.”

He was always an ugly hateful troll. It is just that with a clearer head, now you see it too.

If you don’t like male strippers, why the hell don’t you go to a bar where there are none? Not too bright are you.

Young, hung and good looking only go so far.

None of which are presently in your favor. You George Clooney-Taylor Hicks reject.

Parents who mistreat or disown their own children because they are gay, don’t have the guts to face up to the fact their children are jigsaw pieces of themselves.

Stop acting like you are doing me a favor by giving me the time of day. We both know you want something. You are too much of a user for me to think otherwise. Whatever it is, the answer is no.

Bars are no fun anymore. We are all supposed to know our places in the social pecking order and kiss the ruling queen’s ass.

Just because you broke up with your boyfriend doesn’t mean you need to make up lies about his friends and dish them in the bar.

You are 31 years old. It is time for you to get out of “the scene” and act your age. Too bad it won’t be with me. See ya, scene queen.

I just found several hairs in my hot bear sandwich.

A Budweiser in your hand does not make you butch.

Why do I have to feed your ego by giving you resolution and closure?

I think the rainbow flag is too garish. It is time for an update-have only three stripes and use earth tones-which more accurately reflect skin color. Seriously, who has seen a gay guy with purple skin?

I’m in my 40s, and I could crush you in any PlayStation game. You may think I’m pathetic, but my nephews think I am a god.

You got too much crap in your wallet. Makes your ass look lumpy.

Military haircuts are popular because they look HOT. If you are gelling and spiking your hair AND you are over 30-you have got issues.

In the interest of preserving the sanctity of marriage, I’m proposing a constitutional amendment making it illegal for pop stars to marry. And reality stars!!

Why yes, there is an empty locker in this aisle.

Never mind the other 12 guys stumbling over each other here already. The more the merrier.

If the guy who turns his back in the shower never did not turn his back, you would complain that he is showing off. What do you want him to do? Wear his clothes in there?

I like to support the community, so why must all gay restaurants be overpriced, serve mediocre food and the hygiene be questionable?

Gotta Bitch?

? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitc ch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? ? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitc ch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch? Bitch?

Text it to 404.969.BTCH(2824)

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