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David Magazine | Atlanta Issue 609

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SEPTEMBER 15, 2010 ISSUE 609

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DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE 1874 Piedmont Avenue 390-C Atlanta, GA 30324 Mon-Fri 9:30am-6:00pm Phone: 404.418.8901 Fax: 404.418.8901 ext. 7 www.davidatlanta.com mail@davidatlanta.com publisher Matt Neumann

matt@davidatlanta.com

creative director knyckolas davis

knyckolas@davidatlanta.com

photography Brian Sawyer Matt Neumann Adam Rowe Jesus De La Cruz september 15, 2010

wearing 32 people clothes 44 la nota rosa 56 momma mona star 60 brent report

seen@ 12 17 30 36 42 43 54 55 63

sales and account management sales@davidatlanta.com graphic design Matt Neumann operations and finance Brian Sawyer brian@davidatlanta.com

marketing & promotions Chip O'Kelley chip@davidatlanta.com

national ad rep Rivendell Media 908.232.2021 contributors Andrew Medlin Brent Star Lucy David Muller Makaila Andrews Luis Chiruco

74 75 76 78 79 80 71 86

guides 30 datebook

66 bartab nightlife guide 72 gay atlanta guide 78 classifieds Add us on facebook! DavidAtlantaMagazine

cover courtesy photo Opinions expressed by any writer appearing in this publication are not necessarily those of the staff, management, advertisers, organizations or persons appearing in this magazine. No Part of this publication may be reproduced by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopy recording or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. The mention, appearance or likeness of any person, business, organization, or event in this publication is in no way to be taken as any identification of the sexual, social or political orientation of such persons, businesses, events organizations, staff, shareholders or owners of such. DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, errors or changes in information, events and schedules in ads, features or calendars. DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE reserves the right to reject or cancel any advertisement submitted. All copy, text, graphics, photo's and illustrations in submitted ads are published with the understanding that the person and business’ submitting such are fully authorized and have secured proper consent for the use of images, graphics, pictures, names, logos and testimonials used in such ads and that DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE may lawfully publish the same. By submitting such materials, the advertiser agrees to indemnify and hold blameless DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE from any liability resulting from the publication of any such materials or images.

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Blake’s on the Park - Friday’s


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Burkhart’s - Saturdays


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Datebook Wednesday Sept. 15 Blast from the past!

8 p.m. at Oscar’s, 1510 Piedmont Ave NE. It’s a blast from the past with 80’s Night at Oscar’s. Pop your collars and get footloose with Videos and Fun at this Ansley Square comeback bar. For more information visit: www.oscarsatlanta.com.

Thursday, Sept. 16 Game Players?

10 p.m. at Obsessions, 4525 Glenwood Road. Are you a game player? If so make your way to Obsessions for a round of X-box, PS2 or PS3, Pool, card games, and more! With $5 drink specials, hot DJ’s and no cover all night if you’re over 21 (under 21 $7 after midnight) you can really get your game on ‘till 4 in the morning! For more information visit: www. traxxatlanta.com.

Fashionistas

11:30 p.m. at Burkharts, 1492-F Piedmont Ave. If you’re in the mood for a good show, then make your way to Burkharts. Princess Charles hosts the show with its complete cast of Fashionistas. You won’t wanna miss it! For more information visit: www.burkharts.com.

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Friday Sept. 17 Free Bagel Day

12:30 p.m. at The Model T, 699 Ponce De Leon Ave NE. Free Bagels! Get your free bagels here!!!! Stop by The Model T between 12:30 – 5:30 p.m. and enjoy Free Bagel Day. For more information visit: www.modeltatlanta.com.

Dali and Jazz

5 p.m. at the High Museum of Art, 1280 Peachtree St. Enjoy a guest Jazz musician and visit all of the exhibits that are currently on display, including “Dali: The Late Work.” Patrons will enjoy an evening of live music, food, drinks and art. Members of the High get in for free, all others are $18. For more information visit: www.high.org.

Get Fierce!

11 p.m. at LeBuzz, 585 Franklin Road. It’s Friday, time to get Fierce with hostess Destiny Brooks at LeBuzz. This high energy dance party goes on till 2 a.m. for more information visit: www.thenewlebuzz.com

Bedlam: 80’s Night

Come help celbrate Barry Brandon’s birth at My Sisters Room! 80’s dress recommended.


Datebook Saturday Sept. 18 Atlanta Field Day

9 a.m. at Westminster Prebyterian Church, 1438 Sheridan Road NE. Atlanta Field Day benefits CHRIS Kids. Help keep a child in a home by playing Three Legged Races, Sack Races and Simon Says. Join a team, help a cuase. Plus there’s an afterparty at Woofs Sports Bar. If you want to participate group stretch begins at 9 a.m. and the first whistle is at 9:30 a.m. for more information visit: www. atlantafieldday.org

Women Healing Women

10:30 a.m. at Charis Books & More 1189 Euclid Ave. NE. The Akoma Book Club (of Women Healing Women) is open to any woman seeking camaraderie with like-minded women for fun, self-empowerment and growth. Even if you haven’t read the book, but are willing to talk about the principles in the book, you can join us for a lively discussion. For more information visit: www.charisbooksandmore.com

Americas Best Gay Bar

9 p.m. at Mary’s, 1287 Glenwood Ave. Visit what the Logo channel calls “The Best Gay Bar in America.” Dive right into this gay dive bar for a Hot Mess! dance party. For more information visit www.marysatlanta.com

Sunday, Sept. 19 Gay Friendly Churches

Visit one of the many gay or gay friendly churches that Atlanta has to offer. Some of these include: All Saints Episcopal Church, Virginia Highland Church, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Atlanta, Truth Center MCC, and First MCC of Atlanta. Check out websites for times, information and location.

Grown and Sexy

7pm at Djangos, 495 Peachtree St. End your weekend strong at Djangos. Put on your fly gear and get ready for Grown & Sexy Sunday with Wassup N ATL. Can’t make it this Sunday? Don’t worry this event is the group’s longest running weekly event, and they don’t plan on stopping now. For more information visit: www.wassupnatl.com

Monday Sept. 20 Piano Party

8 p.m. at Mixx, 1492 Piedmont Ave NE. Come see accomplished pianist David Reeb as he entertains you with his musical stylings of over 1000 songs. David will accompany groups, duets, and soloist to sing. Request from the crowd can be made. For more information visit: www.mixxatlanta.com.

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Images (Chattanooga) - Thursdays


People Wearing

Fashion

As I sit here at my desk, sweating to death from the Georgia heat, and drooling over New York Fashion Week, it occurs to me: I’m a little moist – in part from the drool and the sweat, but mainly from the runway shows. Atlanta, I am so ready for fall. I cannot wait to bust out my some cold-weather accessories and actually start to layer, but alas, we live in the subtropics: I guess I’ll just have to wait. That doesn’t mean I have to still dress like it’s summer though. Here are some helpful hints to get you over this rough transition and into the fall without breaking a sweat.

LET’S HAVE SOX

Not quite ready to retire your cropped slacks from summer? Don’t worry; we have a solution. Save your ankles from catching a chill with a jaunty pair of socks. Whether they are peaking out from the rim of your boots or, dare I say it, slouchy with shorts and some oxfords, socks are back… and not just an undergarment anymore. Avoid garish prints, stripes and patterns (Paul Smith), and opt for something more subdued, a pair of solid cashmere, or a subtle argyle. It goes without saying that anything you would wear to the gym is out of the question. And though I never thought I’d be condoning this (EVER), for those of you who are feeling extra plucky this season, try a pair of footies with you gladiator sandals – it’s actually quite chic, believe it or not. WARNING: I’ve just recommended socks and sandals; the Apocalypse is nigh.

MAKE IT EXTRA DIRTY

Are you in a dark place with your wardrobe? Avoid a recipe for disaster, just add some olive to the mix and you’ll be good to go. Military greens have been sweeping the runways for years, but this season they’re an absolute essential in every man’s arsenal. With the prominence of strong silhouettes and lavish detail work, the last couple seasons have seen a fairly restrained colour pallet, with heavy emphasis on black, gray and nude tones. These are still be the foundation for your wardrobe, but it’s high time we added a hue or two to liven things up a bit (Rick Owens). Try a subtle aubergine to add some dimension, or a dusty cerulean for some flavour. After all, olive drab isn’t as dull as it seems, especially when paired it with sharp navy blue. And if you’re worried that olive’s not your colour, substitute 32 davidatlanta

it for forest green instead, it works just as well with blue and khaki, though you should probably avoid it with black. Just because it’s autumn does not mean you have to dress like a pumpkin, so go green, and shut up already.

LIKE TO BE CHOKED?

Well that’s a personal choice, as for me; I prefer a little breathing room between my button-downs and my windpipe. How to avoid it: Always buy your dress shirts a half a size up to compensate for shrinkage (in the neck). Any reputable custom shirt company will take your measurements and build the shirt a little bigger in the neck knowing that after a couple of washes (even at the dry cleaners) it will tighten up. If you’re buying off the rack, do the same thing. Besides, I’m getting a little sick of seeing all you grown men painted into your blouses. So stop complaining and just give your self some breathing room.

BUTTON UP & TIE DOWN

Now that you’ve got that perfect fitting shirt, having a little trouble finding the perfect tie to go with it? Don’t worry about it. This is the perfect season to just button up and leave it. That’s right, ALL the way up. Whether you keep your shirttails tucked in or out, by keeping that top button fastened tight you’ll look puttogether without all the fussy formality of a suit. Since it’s a modern look, make sure it’s a crisp shirt; it doesn’t have to be a solid colour, just nothing with too many details or distractions. Remember, it’s about you, not the shirt. You want to look minimal, not pretentious. So keep it up, and give your cleavage the day off for a change, it deserves a little RNR after the great deep-v pandemic of ’09.


Clothes By Andrew Medlin

Zach is wearing a vintage YSL suede hat, Etro shirt, Timo Weiland bow tie, custom pants by Geoffry, Firenze, gloves by Lanvin, and shoes by Maison Martin Margiela.

Clay is wearing a custom scarf, Marni cardigan, vintage cashmere braces, Dior slacks, and boots by Schmoove.

CROTCHES & OTHER THINGS I LIKE

Finally got rid of that last pair of high-waisted, pleated pants your mom got you a couple holiday’s ago? Remember how she said they made you look ‘smart,’ or ‘sharp,’ or ‘just so handsome?’ I’ve got some bad news for you fellas, she was right. It just does to show, you should always listen to your mother. A highwaisted trouser gives you a long leg and a trimmer waist. Remember your waist? It’s that slender part of your body above your hips near your belly button. It’s also the reason that your low-rise jeans say 32”, but actually measure as a 33.5” around the band: it’s because your natural waist (where clothiers have previously intended you to wear your pants) is located a few inches north, where you are trimmer. So try a pair of slim, pleated slacks with a higher rise, you’ll be amazed how long your legs look; and just because they are tall, doesn’t mean they have to be full cut. Any decent tailor worth his thimble can recut a pair of slacks. A pleat in the front actually gives you more leeway to tailor the butt to fit how you want it – which in my case, is a tight as humanely possible. Also, pleats = functional pockets; a treasure for the man who doesn’t want to carry everything around in his coat pocket all day. If you’re like me and enjoy a cropped pant, try to find a pair

with a banded bottom (Thom Brown, Etro, or Paul Smith), it’s a fun, unexpected detail and will draw attention to your shoes. Now, it’s com-pleatly normal to be a little scared; pleats have been a 4-letter word for a while now. Just remember, try to keep the look slim and sloppy. And if I haven’t lost you yet, you could really flex your sartorial guns by sporting a harem pants or drop-short short. They are the perfect way to look chic and feel comfortable on those days when you’re feeling a little paunchy and out of sorts.

ROUGH LEATHER

Boots: get some. Get them with laces. I’m tired of seeing you shiny Chelsea boys with your shiny Chelsea boots. Don’t be afraid to get your boots dirty, they look better with a little grit… and for that matter, so do you. All you need is one great pair of rugged lace-up boots you can wear with jeans. Don’t worry too much about how to tie them or if your pants should be tucked in or out. Just pull them on and go. The whole look is meant to look a little slapdash, so embrace it. Oh! And for all you boys with those dangerously pointed pairs (Karl Lagerfeld), or any late hipsters still clompin’ around in your cowboy boots, just give it a rest for a season and leave the boot wearin’ to the rest of us. 33 davidatlanta


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Allen Gold’s (Chattanooga) - Thursdays


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Chuck’s II (Chattanooga) - Thursdays

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Oscar’s - Fridays

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La Nota Rosa

EL GRITO by Luis Chiruco

“Mexicanas y mexicanos, este 2010 estamos celebrando el Bicentenario de nuestra Independencia”. Que alguien les diga a quienes escriben los discursos del Presidente que en 2010 NO se celebran 200 años de la Independencia de México. El Bicentenario, para tal efecto, será hasta 2021 El primer ideal o proyecto de nación quedó establecido en 1813, cuando José María Morelos y Pavón presentó sus “Sentimientos de la Nación” durante el Congreso de Anáhuac, que fue el primer cuerpo legislativo de la historia de una tierra que entonces ni se conocía como “mexicana”. Dicho congreso aprobó, en Apatzingán, la primera Constitución el 22 de octubre de 1814, la cual no fue oficialmente reconocida por otros países y, por tanto, no había México independiente ni México como país. La Independencia fue el resultado de la guerra iniciada, según la historia oficial, el 16 de septiembre de 1810; fue el resultado de la rehabilitación de la Constitución de Cádiz, en 1820; fue el resultado de la proclama del Plan de Iguala, en 1821, y finalmente se consumó el 28 de septiembre de 1821. A partir de esa fecha, México fue reconocido como nación. En 1810 ningún mexicano o mexicana luchó por la Independencia. En aquel tiempo los mexicanos no existían como tal. El inicio de esa guerra fue entre criollos y peninsulares (aquéllos nacidos en España). Los mestizos (“mexicanos”) sirvieron como “carne de cañón” o para hacer bola y barullo entre los pelotones. No había mexicanos, pero sí había purépechas, nahuas, mixtecos, mayas, tlahuicas, caxcanes, yoremes, irritilas, naholas, tamasecos, coapolihuanes, janambres, tobosos, huachichiles, etc., etc., ninguno de los cuales se hubiera auto denominado “mexicano”, excepto los mexicas, si acaso… ¿Sabías que el Grito de Dolores debe celebrarse el 16 de septiembre y no el 15? La “confusión” tiene un origen práctico 44 davidatlanta

y de megalomanía. Resulta que Porfirio Díaz nació el 15 de septiembre de 1830 y se le ocurrió cambiar la fecha del inicio de Independencia a su fecha de cumpleaños. La Revolución Mexicana fue un proceso sumamente violento que tuvo un enorme costo para nuestro país. Retrasó el desarrollo económico de México en al menos 20 años y en algunas actividades, como la agricultura, durante un tiempo mucho mayor. El sacrificio habría valido la pena si el país hubiera mejorado significativamente. Pero lejos de mejorar la Revolución provocó en varios aspectos un retroceso económico, institucional y jurídico. La Constitución de 1917, al ordenar una mayor intervención del Estado que la de 1857, hizo más difícil la inversión y la actividad económica. Además, después de tantas enmiendas, se ha convertido en un documento complicado y hasta contradictorio: un catálogo de utopías; y una constitución debe ser sencilla y clara para asegurarnos de que nuestras aspiraciones más básicas siempre se cumplan. La constitución debe incluir todo aquello que nadie nos puede arrebatar como ciudadanos. La pobreza extrema se ha concentrado en el campo en buena medida como consecuencia de un sistema ejidal de tenencia de la tierra que ha despojado a los campesinos de sus derechos de propiedad. El sistema político que surgió de la Revolución Mexicana, por otra parte, fue tan autoritario como el que mantuvo Porfirio Díaz entre 1880 y 1910 Debemos juzgar objetivamente a la Revolución de 1910. Tal vez habría sido mejor trabajar para fortalecer las bases del régimen liberal generado por la Constitución de 1857, pero “el hubiera no existe”, y la Historia tiene sus razones, pero hoy nuestra tarea es corregir los errores del pasado para construir un mejor futuro...got leche?

LA NOTA ROSA IS NOT PRODUCED OR EDITED BY DAVID MAGAZINE.


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Eagle Karaoke - Tuedays


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Eagle - Fridays


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M o mma M o n a ’s Re p o n se

Question

Ask Momma Mona Dear Momma Mona, I work the night shift as a hotel manager and miss out on the night life. Even on my days/nights off, it is important to maintain the same sleep-awake schedule. Needless to say, it is difficult for me to meet people. Any suggestions? ~Working Nights Mike Hi Working Nights Mike, Don’t you just hate it when work gets in the way of real life?!? Working the night shift does preclude you from much social life, especially the bar and partying social scene. But no worries! You can still socialize at the coffee houses all over the city. Locate two or three near you and check them all out. See which one “fits” with your comfort level and also which one attracts a population of people you would like to meet and get to know. The more frequently you go, the more familiar you will be with the employees and other patrons. Before you know it, this will be… a place where everyone knows your name! (intro song from the TV show Cheers) Don’t like coffee, order a yogurt or fruit cup. The important thing is to get yourself out there. Other ideas for getting out and meeting people during the day time hours are: bookstores (most have a coffee shop too), gyms, and some business networking groups meet for early morning breakfast meetings. If your days/evenings off happen to be on the weekend, check out organizations that spark an interest and see if there is one that meets at a time that does not interfere with your usual sleeping schedule. I’m glad you said that you try not to upset your sleeping schedule even on days off because circadian rhythms are a bitch when they get crossed up. Momma Mona wishes you GREAT SUCCESS! September at last! And, a little relief from the heat. While at Ansley Mall after a really harsh yoga class at L.A. Fitness by cute yoga instructor Wayne, Momma Mona mingled a little with the Starbuck’s patrons inquiring about what they think about Atlanta’s gay community. Here’s some of the thoughtful responses: “Atlanta’s social venues are clearly split between lesbians and gays. That’s not the way it is in smaller cities. Age is another dividing line. If you are over 30 or so, you better be one of the pretty, well-kept people to float.” 56 davidatlanta

“There’s a lot of good bars and coffee houses to meet and socialize. I usually come here for my Saturday morning buzz and to read the newspaper. Yes, I’m following the elections and all the mudslinging (chuckle).” “I came to Atlanta because of the large gay population. I feel like I have more options to get out and meet people and that’s what you have to do. It’s so easy to stay at home, especially when you have a demanding job.” “Atlanta puts on a really good Gay Pride Parade and it seems to be widely supported by the churches and straight community. Yeah, I almost get teary-eyed because it feels good.” *Note: The Atlanta Gay Pride Parade and Festival this year will be October 9th & 10th at Piedmont Park. “I know of an older gay couple in my neighborhood who have to be around 80. They would be a great source to interview about gay history here. I’m concerned that this younger generation will not know of the sacrifices and hardships gays of the older generation had to maneuver around.” “I prefer the morning time coffee houses to the later night bars these days. Yes, I guess you could call it a hang-out because you see many of the same people at around the same time on Saturdays and Sundays. I spend almost two hours here reading the paper, talking with friends or anyone who’s interested in Atlanta politics. This next election is going to be pivotal for gays in Atlanta and anything I can do to encourage people to get involved and/or just vote, I will.” “So you are Momma Mona from the magazine? I’ve just started noticing your column. Not bad. Sure, I’ll write you with some thoughts. Thanks.” The Starbucks at Ansley Mall is always lively with people. Great crowd of people and interesting, too. Thanks everyone for spending a little time with Momma Mona! Where’s the next venue to meet & greet?

Email your questions to MommaMona@ DavidAtlanta.com


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Horoscopes ARIES

You your health in some new way -- this and it’s not You need needtotoimprove do whatever it takes to slow down week —hard even if that means brakes some as as you’d think! See ifslamming you can startthe a new exerciseonregimen, project that a lotortothink you.healthy Things should pick up tinker with yourmeans food intake thoughts.

TAURUS

You need hook up in with friends perspective or family members in orderbe to Open up to and take another — it should have good timetothis week just quitea valuable you! It’s--aflying goodsolo time forisn’t youastosatisfying. step up your efforts to great showenergy a friend oryou loved you are Fortunately, your makes a joyone to bethat around.

GEMINI

You are having an easier time understanding the not crazysobusiness Things are a little strained right now, but much that going on all -- soYou seedo if you cantoexplain it to thathas youbeen can’t figure it week all out. need try a few someone close. Your own energy be about right forhow the task. experiments before you’reshould likely to know to

CANCER

It’s a great time for a date or a job interview -- or any other situation Other people are more than a little confused lately, and in which youmean need to relate to keep others.misunderstanding You’re ordinarily noyou slouch that could that they — in that when department, but to thisexplain week brings a special focus. even you try yourself! You may want to

totally on their side.

proceed, so use your brain!

let it go until next week.

LEO

Your big plans need some work -- and now is the best time to Don’tthe run half-cocked right now you with needyour to tweak fineoff details. You may want to set up a— meeting absorb the situation fully before you can really make any people to ensure that they’ve all got input into what should be an headway. Check and double-check. Once you know important revision. what’s going on, your actions should stick.

VIRGO

Yourneed energy is just right for especially if you have You to start something new,now— no matter how much resistance big may plans want to push forward! should you beyou seeing. Someone close is sure toLittle lend athings hand, and your conspire to help you out, so you can expect to meet all great energy almost guarantees success. Go for it! goals.

LIBRA

You’ve got that voice in your -- but it’s not telling you Your emotional state is ahead littleagain difficult to handle right now. See if you canInget things to to do anything crazy! fact, it’s thetogether opposite,long as it’senough beckoning bowtoout of any meetings you or appointments. It’s a good you tackle a bigbig responsibility aren’t so wild about.

SCORPIO

You a good secrethas when you hear been it -- and this weekfor should Yourknow social energy definitely working you bring youa something reallytospecial! good time make for you new to sit — it’s great time bury It’s thea hatchet, contacts or even take the first step toward a new romanback and let others wonder, though, as letting it out too soon ruins tic fun. entanglement. Why not? the

self-care time, that’s for sure!

This is not a good time to bust out the credit cards or to

SAGITTARIUS

Listen your inner hall monitorIfand notboost to cause anysavings trouble. forgettoabout the long-term. youtrycan your If youmonth, do -- even it’s likely that you foresight bring the full this youinadvertently are sure to--appreciate your in the far-off future. force of authority down on you for a good long time.

CAPRICORN

You’re master big at the small stuff and this week, that’sorthejust only to this aweek’s moment. It -could be an award a stuff matters! Youexactly have tothe ensure that your ability to corral hint that of praise from right person, but now you numbers and data isn’t lost on your peers, who might be feeling know where to start building. helpless.

AQUARIUS PISCES

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very soon, but progress this week is false.

You may feel as if your good energy has been driving you

This is not a good week for struggles — at least not for you! Try to get your friends and colleagues to back you

Use youryou skepticism -- need whichtodoesn’t always come up, but may just hunker down andnaturally wait for to a you -- to figure out what’s more auspicious day toreally fightgoing back.on beneath the surface this week. It shouldn’t take long for you to flush out the real issues. A stroke of good luck is more than it seems to be —

though mean youtime have to get thetobottom Set aside that somedoesn’t worries for another -- you maytoneed actually of it! You can just enjoy the good energy and give schedule them in for a later date. That can help you deal with this thanks to those who watch out for you. week’s onslaught, and might help your mental health, too!


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The Brent Star Report

Can’t we all just get along? PART II

For the past few days, the weather has been absolutely gorgeous! I’ve been tempted to do what Erykah Badu did in her WINDOW SEAT video and just ‘walk’ down the street butt ass naked…except…my version is just a little different. I’d be wearing just a few accessories such as a long thin linen chiffon train loosely wrapped across my neck that lingers in the wind behind me as I ‘walk’, a pair of thigh high chocolate brown patent leather stilettos, my Armani Exchange sun glasses, oh and a pair of pearl white long gloves while sipping on a white chocolate martini. Well, THAT video ain’t out yet! Yes, I AM enjoying the weather outside, but I’m in a meeting with the cast of MONEY, SUCCESS, FAME, GLAMOR (it’s restaurant SHOUT’s fun variety show they have every Tuesday). We touched on a few important things that you folks will just have to come to the show and see for yourself, like the surprise famous actress who’s rumored to stop by (now you know I’m going to write about it if she shows up), but what we couldn’t help but to talk about is the tension of… and here we go again, thus the reason why I’m writing a PART 2….Black Pride Vs White Pride. It felt like we were on The View discussing a very hot topic. Ok so entertainer Phoenix from The Jungle who does a lot of hip hop flavored numbers expressed how un welcomed she felt at one of the Black Pride Events at Lowes Hotel. “They just kept looking at me like why did my white ass walk in here?…and yall know how I love the black brothers and not to mention the ones I’ve dated. Trust girl”, she told us. Dancing sensation Alana Kelly told her to pay it dust (ignore it) and not worry about those few looks. That’s when I told Phoenix I can relate because I get that same feeling when I walked into the predominately white Three Legged Cowboy’ bar (but I didn’t care, I just went in there looking for that 3rd leg). Phoenix went on to say something about how bad it would be if the ‘other’ pride was called ‘White Pride’. Host of the Tues show, Princess Charles, agreed with me and said he’ll attend them all but then remarked how he noticed how ‘black’ Blakes was on Sunday with a mile long line to get in during Labor Day! Then the Princess and Alana got into the whole ‘cultural’ aspect of why we need a separate pride. Alana 60 davidatlanta

then started talking about her theory is the music makes a lot of difference. She goes to some bars just because of the music so she can dance the house down. That’s true for some, but let me tell you, your ‘color’ does NOT dictate what music you listen to. I mean even though I’m not a hard core hip hop fan, I still go to Bulldogs where they play it a lot because child I focus more on all that Willy Wonka chocolate eye candy. But back to the conversation, I mentioned that I thought that Black Pride was originated because WE felt left out of the rainbow during the ‘main’ pride, so we started doing our own. And going back to the ‘culture’ aspect, I feel that non blacks should be just as welcomed so they can also enjoy how WE party and how WE celebrate pride with our pride for our color, our music, and the way WE express ourselves like through our lingo, fashion, or dancing which is different especially with all that VOGUING, plus there’s the ‘ball’ scene where there’s competition between ‘houses’ that’s done all over the country originating from New York and Chicago not Madonna. Business and talent entrepreneur Marcus Jackson of Caliber’ Enterprises was there and said he believes the Marcus Jackson suggests that the leaders/organizers of both prides need to come together and plan a way for all of us to enjoy and appreciate both prides. I mean, hell it’s good to have two for the city’s money flow, but my hope is for it to be done without the tension. But the best pride to celebrate is “You Pride”… child, be proud to be YOU! Let me remind you, our creator ‘designed’ our lives to be ‘temporary’ so don’t get caught up in these labels, stereotypes, and other temporary ‘drama’. Yes, I’d love to see the entire LGBT community unite as one. After all, don’t we call ourselves “Family”? Until next week, DON’T read the girls, instead read The Brent Star Report! Where to catch Brent Star: Tuesdays at SHOUT, Saturdays at Tijuana Garage, Sept. 16th at Lebuzz, Thursdays and Sundays once a month at Burkharts and everywhere else that pays!


61 davidatlanta


Drag Time

Latest and Greatest Drag News By Makaila Andrews

For the past few days, the weather has been absolutely gorgeous! I’ve been tempted to do what Erykah Badu did in her WINDOW SEAT video and just ‘walk’ down the street butt ass naked… except…my version is just a little different. I’d be wearing just a few accessories such as a long thin linen chiffon train loosely wrapped across my neck that lingers in the wind behind me as I ‘walk’, a pair of thigh high chocolate brown patent leather stilettos, my Armani Exchange sun glasses, oh and a pair of pearl white long gloves while sipping on a white chocolate martini. Well, THAT video ain’t out yet! Yes, I AM enjoying the weather outside, but I’m in a meeting with the cast of MONEY, SUCCESS, FAME, GLAMOR (it’s restaurant SHOUT’s fun variety show they have every Tuesday). We touched on a few important things that you folks will just have to come to the show and see for yourself, like the surprise famous actress who’s rumored to stop by (now you know I’m going to write about it if she shows up), but what we couldn’t help but to talk about is the tension of…and here we go again, thus the reason why I’m writing a PART 2….Black Pride Vs White Pride. It felt like we were on The View discussing a very hot topic. Ok so entertainer Phoenix from The Jungle who does a lot of hip hop flavored numbers expressed how un welcomed she felt at one of the Black Pride Events at Lowes Hotel. “They just kept looking at me like why did my white ass walk in here?…and yall know how I love the black brothers and not to mention the ones I’ve dated. Trust girl”, she told us. Dancing sensation Alana Kelly told her to pay it dust (ignore it) and not worry about those few looks. That’s when I told Phoenix I can relate because I get that same feeling when I walked into the predominately white Three Legged Cowboy’ bar (but I didn’t care, I just went in there looking for that 3rd leg). Phoenix went on to say something about how bad it would be if the ‘other’ pride was called ‘White Pride’. Host of the Tues show, Princess Charles, agreed with me and said he’ll attend them all but then remarked how he noticed how ‘black’

Blakes was on Sunday with a mile long line to get in during Labor Day! Then the Princess and Alana got into the whole ‘cultural’ aspect of why we need a separate pride. Alana then started talking about her theory is the music makes a lot of difference. She goes to some bars just because of the music so she can dance the house down. That’s true for some, but let me tell you, your ‘color’ does NOT dictate what music you listen to. I mean even though I’m not a hard core hip hop fan, I still go to Bulldogs where they play it a lot because child I focus more on all that Willy Wonka chocolate eye candy. But back to the conversation, I mentioned that I thought that Black Pride was originated because WE felt left out of the rainbow during the ‘main’ pride, so we started doing our own. And going back to the ‘culture’ aspect, I feel that non blacks should be just as welcomed so they can also enjoy how WE party and how WE celebrate pride with our pride for our color, our music, and the way WE express ourselves like through our lingo, fashion, or dancing which is different especially with all that VOGUING, plus there’s the ‘ball’ scene where there’s competition between ‘houses’ that’s done all over the country originating from New York and Chicago not Madonna. Business and talent entrepreneur Marcus Jackson of Caliber’ Enterprises was there and said he believes the Marcus Jackson suggests that the leaders/ organizers of both prides need to come together and plan a way for all of us to enjoy and appreciate both prides. I mean, hell it’s good to have two for the city’s money flow, but my hope is for it to be done without the tension. But the best pride to celebrate is “You Pride”… child, be proud to be YOU! Let me remind you, our creator ‘designed’ our lives to be ‘temporary’ so don’t get caught up in these labels, stereotypes, and other temporary ‘drama’. Yes, I’d love to see the entire LGBT community unite as one. After all, don’t we call ourselves “Family”? Until next week, DON’T read the girls, instead read The Brent Star Report!

Weekly Highlights Wednesday: Sept. 15, 2010/Rated R Drag Show/ Blake’s/11pm Thursday: Sept. 16, 2010/Ladies’ Night Show/ LeBuzz/11pm Friday: Sept. 17, 2010/Mary Edith Pitt’s Show/ Burkharts/11pm Saturday: Sept. 18, 2010/Daring Diva’s/ Blake’s/11pm 62 davidatlanta

Sunday: Sept. 19, 2010/Karaoke/Tripp’s/7pm Monday: Sept. 20, 2010/Stars of the Century/ Jungle/10pm Tuesday: Sept. 21, 2010/Showtunes/ Amsterdam/9pm


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Atlanta A-Z

by David C. Muller

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Mr. Pencil grew up in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, but he came from Pensacola. He had a penchant for ‘Paper Moon,’ the movie starring Tatum O’Neal, and he also had a ‘thing’ for Pat Sajak, Portia de Rossi and the President. Despite a preference for pastries, Mr. Pencil was, as his moniker would suggest, as thin as a pencil but he ate like a pig: he ate pizza, pita, pasta, potatoes, pork, papaya, plantains, pancakes, pudding and porridge; Mr. Pencil drank pineapple juice and Pabst Blue Ribbon, he smoked Parliament Lights, he dressed in plaid and his favorite color was pink but he lied and told everyone it was pastel beige. Mr. Pencil drove around in a PT Cruiser. Because of the BP oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico, the livelihood of Mr. Pencil had been potentially, quite possibly, postponed, presumably, for posterity. Mr. Pencil was pissed, his fury passed through a new prism of patronization and he reached a new plateau of anger. Mr Pencil packed up in Pensacola and paid his way and puddle-jumped on up to the greatest city in the American South. In Atlanta, Mr. Pencil opened a PR company, ‘Pencil Associates’, and he adopted the platform that planned to push BP past the point of no return and down into the doldrums. Mr. Pencil plotted and schemed to extract billions of dollars from BP to make up for his lost revenue. He was not afraid to pit enemies against each other or to cut corners or to flat out lie to get that money, for Mr. Pencil, like a true Pennsylvanian, lacked a realistic sense of ethics and possessed absolutely no moral compass whatsoever and he was prepared to 66 davidatlanta

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do whatever he deemed necessary to bilk the hell out of those British-accented bastards that had ruined his precious Gulf. He was not a poor man; quite the contrary; Mr. Pencil was rich and he had amassed a phalanx of lawyers and plaintiffs, priests, saints, judges and harlots; he had plenty of people in his employment willing and ready to do his evil bidding throughout the South but, in and amidst all of this, Mr. Pencil realized he would also need a brand new personal assistant to help him with the monumental task of extorting billions of dollars in hard currency from a multinational corporation. On Friday, Mr. Pencil set out on a pilgrimage to find a new personal assistant. He went to Amsterdam Atlanta dreaming of dollar signs and the demise of BP but… instead… Mr. Pencil laid his wicked eyes on our beloved hero, Luke! Luke was, at the time, dancing topless with a sweaty homosexual writhing around on the dance floor; the top part of his ass crack was visible above the waist of his low-cut jeans. Mr. Pencil walked straight up to Luke on the dance floor and cut right in, “You!” He said, “I want you!” Luke ignored Mr. Pencil, a man whom he did not yet know. Mr. Pencil was not accustomed to being ignored, he snapped his fingers in Luke’s face and, in an echo of Glenn Close in ‘Fatal Attraction,’ Mr. Pencil said, “I will not be ignored, Dan!” “Dude,” Luke might have taken something


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earlier, he kept on dancing and said, “My name isn’t Dan.” Mr. Pencil reached in and grabbed our hero by his shoulders, “You are coming with me to the bar and we are having a drink.” That got Luke’s attention, “I’d like some Belvedere vodka, please.” Luke relented and stepped off the dance floor. Mr. Pencil introduced himself; he said his name and where he was from, he said, “I’m looking for a fine young man; one fine and young specimen like you, to assist me in my ruthless campaign against the formidable enterprise that is Arab controlled oil! I want to stop this country from sliding into the evil, vile clutches of the eastern Mohammedians! I want to save America for Jesus and white people and I want you; you hot, sexy little thing you; to help me with my vindictive endeavors!” “You said your name is Pencil?” Luke downed a double shot of vodka and motioned to the bartender to bring him another, “And you want to do what now?” “Here,” Mr. Pencil pulled something from a breast pocket, “my card.” Luke blinked his eyes to bring them into focus. He read the card: ‘Pencil Associates’ and, underneath, the simple phrase: ‘PR Firm.’ Luke flipped the card through his fingers, “This doesn’t tell me anything.” “I want to rule the world.” Mr. Pencil said, “But first, I plan to conquer the British, and then the French, and then the Germans, and the Mexicans, and the Russians and the Chinese but, before all of that, I want to control Atlanta

and the South and you’re going to help me.” Luke handed the card back to Mr. Pencil, “I ain’t helpin’ you with shit.” Luke pushed away from the bar to head back to the dance floor… …but Mr. Pencil grabbed Luke’s wrist and said, “I will not be ignored, Dan!” Luke threw up his much stronger arm, “Let go of me. Who the hell do you think you are?” “Why I’m Mr. Pencil,” he smiled with a sinister sneer, “down from Pittsburgh and up from Pensacola. I’m here to take over now,” he tossed a salute of mockery in Luke’s direction, “Hello!” Luke felt his head start to spin, “You’re, like, crazy nuts, aren’t you?” Mr. Pencil said, “And you’re, like, starting to feel crazy dizzy?” Luke took a breath and placed his hands on his hips, “I feel jus… fi…ne…” Luke did not know what happened next; the next thing he saw was the swirling colors of purple and pink. If there was such a thing as a ‘hot tub time machine’ Luke imagined this is what it felt like: his head spun in a swirl as he fell to the ground; his vision watery and blurred, his speech numbed and Mr. Pencil; wickedly, sinisterly and with evil intent; looking down upon him with eager, expectant, devilish eyes… Luke’s last two thoughts for this episode were: “What’s he going to do to me?” and “To be continued…” NEXT EPISODE: “Q is for Questions & Answers” 67 davidatlanta


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30 Amsterdam - Sunday Brunch 11:30am - 3pm Showtunes with a Twist 7pm 17 25 Bellissima - Live 34DJ Entertainment 40 33 35 BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am 40 36 41 Blake’s - Brunch Noon-3pm With Live Jazz – Armorettes Show 8pm14 Burkharts - Mary Edith Pitts Show @ 9pm 19 Club 91 - Lions Den Legendary Sunday’s DJ29Sedrick & DJ Brooks Felix’s - Bloody Mary & Mimosa Wallet Pleasers Friends on Ponce - Sunday Dinner 4pm Las Margaritas - All You Can Eat Brunch 11AM-3PM 24 Model T - Falcon Football - Sunday Dinner 3:30PM Tripps - Sunday Buffet 3pm Karaoke 7pm Woofs - Great Food, Drink & Good Times 6 11 21 26 36

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3 Legged Cowboy - Dance Lessons @ 8-9 Amsterdam - High Energy Videos 9pm Bellissima - Live DJ Entertainment BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Jealouse’s Daring Divas 11pm Burkharts - Mary Edith Pitts Show 11:30pm Club 91 - RT Parties brings you Klimaxx Dance Party with Miss Sophia (go go dancers) DJ Maestro, DJ Rick, DJ Scrilla spinning on two floors all night The Eagle - DJ Dance Party Felix’s - Karaoke with Brett & Tyler Friends on Ponce - Open @ Noon with Bob Brewer Heretic - Presenting the finest dance entertainment with the best local & nationally acclaimed deejays every week! Check our ad elsewhere in David for details! 10pm LeBuzz - Saturday Night Fever Show Mary’s - Dance Party Hot Mess 9PM Differnt DJ Every Week Mixx- Dance Party 10pm - 3am Model T - Free Tacos! All The Fixins! 3:30 pm to gone! 400 Party B - Sextasy Latino Night, Divas Show and DJ Dance Sanctuary Swinging Richards - Open 6:30pm - $10 7 Tripps - BBQ Cookout 1-5pm Woofs - Great Food, DrinkLIN & Good Times DB

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3 Legged Cowboy - Dance Lessons @ 8-9 - Ladies Night Amsterdam - Rita’s & Smirnoff Tini’s Special 27 Bellissima - Live DJ Entertainment C BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Texas Holdem Poker @ 7p - The Shawnna Factor @ 11p Burkharts - Princess Charles - Fashionistas 11:30pm Club 91 - Customer Appreciation FREE ALL NIGHT The Eagle - Dance Music $2.50 Schnapps Felix’s - Karaoke Friends on Ponce - HOT NIGHTS With Jasen and Donnie Heretic - Style Latin Tribal Beats & Live Bongos! 10pm Las Margarita’s - Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30PM LeBuzz - Ladies Night Shows Mary’s - Themed Parties Reto DJ’s Swinging Richards - 2-4-1 Night - Door Entry and VIP $10 Midtown W – Chris Coleman Presents “Indulge” 9pm-Midnight Mixx - Karaoke 9pm-1am Kamikaze Karaoke Contest 11-Midnight Model T - Robert & Michael serve up their Best! Woofs - Meet and Greet for “Gathering Time”! Daily Food Specials

3 Legged Cowboy - Studs & Spurs - Shows at 10, 11, 12, and 1 Amsterdam - DJ Dance Party Bellissima - Live DJ Entertainment BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Kitty LeClaw’s Meow Mix 11pm Burkharts - Mary Edith Pitts Show 11:30pm Club 91 - It’s Bingo Bitch Hosted by: Auntie Snickers Chaparral - Got Leche? 10pm - Hot Latino Dancers The Eagle - DJ Dance Party & Club Night Felix’s - Bartenders Ray & Cory - Serve it up! Friends on Ponce - Happy Time With Daniel and Terry Heretic - Armorettes Cabaret 3rd Saturday Of The Month 8-10PM Jungle - Party A Lo Maximo with DJ Karlitos & DJ Turz LeBuzz - Dance Party & Show Mary’s - Open 5pm - Boys Room Party - Themed Party - Love DJ Mixx - High Energy Music Videos 9pm-1am Model T - Poker Night Swinging Richards - Open 6:30pm - $10 - Hot Naked Men and Big Cocktails Tripps Bar - Laser Show Dance Party with DJ Steve Lynch Woofs - Great Food, Drink & Good Times

W. PEACHTREE ST.

3 Legged Cowboy - Intermediate 2 Step @ 8-9 Amsterdam - Get L.I.T. All Day Specials Bellissima - Texas Hold ‘Em Poker 7pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Rated R @ 11pm - Half Price Apps: ALL DAY Burkharts - Karaoke Idol 10:30pm - Close Club 91 - The Main Event Cabaret & Talent Show Followed By DJ Rick The Eagle - Modern Family Night $3 PBR 18 Friends on Ponce - H.U.M.P. DAY With Jeremy, Ken & Daniel Heretic - Boys Night Out Dress Code party 10pm - 3am Las Margaritas - Karaoke 8pm LeBuzz - Hump Night & New Entertainer Showcase Mary’s - DJ Yes Sir Spins Rock 9pm Mixx - Texas Hold’em Poker 7:30 - 10pm Model T - Free Hot Dogs! $3 Draft Beer – Karaoke Night Oscar’s - Totally Wicked 80s Night Tripps - Taco Night - Free Tacos 5PM Swinging Richards - $5 Cover! Free VIP Lounge Entry Woofs - Woofs House Trivia starts at 8:00pm

S a tu rd a y

3 Legged Cowboy - Family Poker 7:30pm Amsterdam - Showtunes 9pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Twisted Trivia @ 9pm - starring The Lady Shabazz Burkharts - Karaoke 11:30pm Club 91 - Swagg Tuesday’s The Eagle - Karaoke $3.75 Well Drinks Felix’s - Smirnoff Martini Night Friends on Ponce - Enchanted Evnings With Ken & Donnie Heretic - Gay Film Festival with Paul @ 9:30pm. Las Margaritas - Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30pm LeBuzz - Talent Search & Karaoke Mary’s - CJ Hosting Mary-Oke @ 10pm Mixx - Texas Hold’em Poker 7:30 - 10pm Model T - Always a Party! Wyatt, Gary & Elvis serve up their Best! Oscar’s - Show Tunes Tuesdays 8PM Swinging Richards - No Cover Tuesdays! Woofs - Free WII from 4:00 till close - Industry Night!!

S u n da y

Amsterdam - Video Request Night - Industry Night 9pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Drag on The Edge 11pm with Alexandria Martin Burkharts - Karaoke Idol 10:30pm - Close Club 91 - DJ Scrilla with MC Pretty Pandora’s Box (@91 Below) The Eagle - Bare Chest Night $3PBR Felix’s - Free Pool! Industry Night Friends on Ponce - Afternoons with Jasen 2pm Frogs - $1 Tacos 6-9pm Heretic - Brian May is pouring up stiff drinks - 10pm to 3 am LeBuzz - Man Dance Cabaret - GOGO Dancers - Drink Specials 8pm Mary’s - Open 5pm - DJ Va Jay Jay Spins Mixx - Live Pianist 9pm - 1am Model T - Service Industry Night! Discounted Drinks! Woofs - Texas Hold’em 8pm

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Bartab Nightlife Guide

See Guide on Page 72 for Locations 10

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1. Amsterdam 502 Amsterdam Ave. 404-892-2227 myspace.com/amsterdamatlanta

20. Mary’s 1287 Glenwood Ave. 404-624-4411 www.marysatlanta.com

2. Bellissima 560-B Amsterdam Ave. 404-917-0220 myspace.com/bellissima_lounge

21. Mixx 1492 Piedmont Rd. 404-228-4372

3. Blake’s on the Park 227 10th St. 404-892-5786 myspace.com/blakesonthepark 4. BJ Roosters 2345 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-634-5895 www.bjroostersatl.com 5. Bulldogs 893 Peachtree St. 404-872-3025 6. Burkhart’s 1492-F Piedmont Rd. 404-872-4403 www.burkharts.com 7. Chaparral 2715 Buford Hwy. 678-886-3205 8. Club Europe 4001 Presidential Pkwy. 770-452-1240 www.thelionsdenatlanta.com 9. Club Opera 1150-B Crescent Ave. 404-872-1150 www.operaatlanta.com 10. Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-873-2453 www.atlantaeagle.com 11. Felix’s 1510-G Piedmont Rd. 404-249-7899 12. Friends On Ponce 736 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-817-3820 www.friendsonponce-atl.com 13. Gilbert’s 219 10th St. 404-872-8012 www.gilbertscafe.com 14. Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-325-3061 www.hereticatlanta.com 15.HOBNOB 1551 Piedmont Ave. 404-968-2288 16. Joe’s on Juniper 1049 Juniper St. 404-875-6634 www.joesatlanta.com 17. Jungle 2115 Faulkner Rd. 404-844-8800 jungleclubatlanta.com 18. LeBuzz 585 Franklin Rd. (Marietta) 770-424-1337 www.thenewlebuzz.com 19. Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-873-4464 www.lasmargaritasatl.com

22. Model-T 699 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-872-2209 www.modeltatlanta.com 23. My Sisters Room 1271 Glenwood Ave. SE 678-705-4585 24. New Order 1544 Piedmont Rd. 404-874-8247 25. Opus 1 1086 Alco St. 404-634-6478

PRIVATE SOCIAL CLUBS 40. Eros 2219 Faulkner Rd. 404-287-4482 41. Manifest 2103 Faulkner Rd. 404-549-2815

Atlanta Tourist Spots

A. Atlanta Botanical Gardens B. Atlanta History Center C. Atlantic Station D. Centennial Olympic Park E. CNN - Atlanta F. Fox Theater G. Georgia Aquarium H. Georgia State Capitol I. High Museum of Art J. Margaret Mitchell House K. The Atlanta Opera and The Atlanta Ballet L. The Atlanta Symphony Orchestra M. Virginia-Highlands N. World of Coca-Cola O. Zoo Atlanta

26. Oscar’s 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE www.oscarsatlanta.com 27. Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr. 404-352-0532 www.swingingrichards.com 28. 3 Legged Cowboy 931 Monroe Dr. 404-876-0001 www.3leggedcowboy.net 29. Tripps 1931 Piedmont Cir. 404-724-0067 30. Woofs 2425 Piedmont Rd. 404-869-9422 www.woofsatlanta.com 31. 91 91 Broad Street SW 404.581.0577 www.91below.com

GYMS/SPAS/BATHS 32. FLEX 76 - 4th St. NW 404-815-0456

33. Gravity Fitness 2201 Faulkner Rd. NW 404-486-0506 34. Workout Anytime 2140 Peachtree Rd. 404-351-3264

RETAIL/BOOKS/DVDS

35. Atlanta Leather Company 2070 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-320-8989 36. Brushstrokes/Capulets 1510 Piedmont Ave. 404-876-6567 37. Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Rd. 404.873.2264 www.boynextdoor.biz 38. Outwrite Bookstore & Cafe 991 Piedmont Ave. 404-607-0082

through

39. Poster Hut 2175 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-633-7491

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Ansley

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CARE

EXPERIENCE LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT Ansley Eye Care | Ansley Mall 1544 Piedmont Avenue NE, Ste. 320 • Atlanta, GA 30324 83 david davidatlanta 83 david davidatlanta Phone 404.888.9444 • F. 404.888.9666 • www.ansleyeyecare.com


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Protect Your Monster

90 davidatlanta

by Richard Marshall


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Bitch Session Furries? Guys in gas masks and latex? I love this place.

You are just a bitter old bitch who must be rude to others simply because your life sucks so whistle me a tune. How did you ever make the gay men’s chorus? You sound like you are singing thru an elephant’s vagina.

Don’t mess with people who mess with your food. You might eat something that didn’t come with your order, Bitch! Wow your just my friend when you need me but when I need you, you are no were to be found nice! After that restaurant downtown was vandalized by “queers” it looked gay – for about five minutes. To hell with heterosexuals. I’m tired of paying taxes for THEIR “special rights.” To the sales guy who works at a certain Atlanta department store: Thanks for the extra help in the fitting room. Very hot. I’m a satisfied customer and will be back for more. Not since JFK has a speech by a sitting U.S. president touched me more personally. It’s been nearly two years people! Stop being such Nellie bitches.

Dude, I walked away from your doorstep because you had a huge booger hanging out of your nose.

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To the guy who licked a stranger’s armpit on the dance floor this weekend (you know who you are): You’re nasty. How did that big mouthful of Old Spice taste? Re: “The bitches who read this are nothing but a bunch of eighth grade girls on their periods.” And that includes you since you are reading this, Bitch! Don’t push me aside without even saying “excuse me” and then say God made you bigger than me so you can move me aside. He made you the same size as me – your eating made you fatter than me, not “bigger.” Good sex leaves marks.

Listen up you tired old circuit hags: No one thinks you look sexy when you are sweaty, swirled out of your mind and stomping up and down with one hand in the air! And tribal tats are so tired! If you’re going to offer to color my hair inexpensively, don’t drunkenly and aggressively hit on my girlfriend in the next breath. NOT a way to drum up business. GURL! I hate those fucking sloppy trannys. If your going to wear revealing outfits please shave your chest


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David Magazine | Atlanta Issue 609 by David Magazine, INC - Issuu