David Magazine | Atlanta Issue 607

SEPTEMBER 1, 2010 ISSUE 607

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END OF SUMMER SALE ALL SWIM WEAR 1/2 OFF SALE ENDS LABORDAY

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DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE 1874 Piedmont Avenue 390-C Atlanta, GA 30324 Mon-Fri 9:30am-6:00pm Phone: 404.418.8901 Fax: 404.418.8901 ext. 7 www.davidatlanta.com mail@davidatlanta.com publisher Matt Neumann creative director knyckolas davis photography Brian Sawyer Matt Neumann Adam Rowe Jesus De La Cruz

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heart 22 the foundation 52 momma mona pride 62 black schedule brent star 68 the report 70 atlanta a-z 82 drag time

sales and account management sales@davidatlanta.com graphic design Matt Neumann operations and finance Brian Sawyer brian@davidatlanta.com

marketing & promotions Chip O'Kelley chip@davidatlanta.com

national ad rep Rivendell Media 908.232.2021 contributors Brent Star Luis Chiruco Lucy David Muller Makaila Andrews

seen@ 12 18 46 50 64 76 77 80 guides 14 datebook

66 bartab nightlife guide 72 gay atlanta guide 78 classifieds

cover Barry Bradon Photographer: Aleya Malacane

Opinions expressed by any writer appearing in this publication are not necessarily those of the staff, management, advertisers, organizations or persons appearing in this magazine. No Part of this publication may be reproduced by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopy recording or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. The mention, appearance or likeness of any person, business, organization, or event in this publication is in no way to be taken as any identification of the sexual, social or political orientation of such persons, businesses, events organizations, staff, shareholders or owners of such. DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, errors or changes in information, events and schedules in ads, features or calendars. DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE reserves the right to reject or cancel any advertisement submitted. All copy, text, graphics, photo's and illustrations in submitted ads are published with the understanding that the person and business’ submitting such are fully authorized and have secured proper consent for the use of images, graphics, pictures, names, logos and testimonials used in such ads and that DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE may lawfully publish the same. By submitting such materials, the advertiser agrees to indemnify and hold blameless DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE from any liability resulting from the publication of any such materials or images.

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Blake’s on the Park - Saturdays

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Datebook

Arts & Entertainment

“Pageant The Musical” continues @ 14th Street Playhouse 8PM 173 14th Street NE www.14thstreetplayhouse.org “Shopping & F**cking: continues @ Onstage Atlanta 8PM - 2597 N. Decatur Road www.onstageatlanta.tix.com

Friday, September 3rd

Nightlife

Overhaul-An Afterhours event. Want more weekend? Need more party?

It isn’t over yet! Chris Coleman Enterprises and DJ Martin Fry keep the party going ‘til 8AM! At the Spring4th Center-728 Spring Street NW. Doors open at 2:45AM!

Black Pride Late Night Breakfast @ Straits After your night of celebration. Chill and refill at Chris “Ludacris” Bridges Hip Midtown eatery. 3am - 6am. Join with the Girls In The Night for this special event.

Straits - 493 Juniper Street www.straitsatl.com

Featured Event

DJ Chiruco’s Birthday Bash @ Chaparral.

Celebrate with Atlanta’s. Hottest Latin DJ at Atlanta’s Hottest Latin Nightclub. Featuring Special Guest DJ Mark Alvarado from Mexico City. Special Show with Chaparral’s Divas and Dancers. Doors open at 10pm the party goes ‘til 4am! Chaparral 2715 Buford Highway www.gotlecheatlanta.com

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Datebook

Saturday, September 4th

DJ’s And Dancing

DJ Jay McCracken @ Amsterdam 10PM Atlanta’s favorite HOT DJ Jay Spins your Saturday night right at Amsterdam.

No Cover! 502 Amsterdam Avenue NE www.amsterdamatlanta.com The Heretic brings to Atlanta direct from Mexico City DJ Mark Alvarado Featuring his unique brand of House and Circuit beats that are sure to keep you going all night. The party starts at 10PM. 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road NE www.hereticatlanta.com

Sunday, September 5

th

Eats

Blake’s Sunday Brunch-Midtown’s newest brunch, an all you can eat brunch for only $12.

12:30pm-3pm featuring Blake’s regular

breakfast items along with a special weekly themed menu and Live Music.

Blake’s On The Park-227 10th Street – www. blakesontheparkatlanta.com Also be sure to check out more of Midtown’s favorite brunches: Amsterdam -502 Amsterdam Avenue. Join Amsterdam on Facebook while you’re at it!

Las Margaritas- 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE. www.lasmargaritasmidtown.com

Nightlife

Club Q – Atlanta’s All Night Labor Day Weekend Event. Chris Coleman brings you DJ Alyson Calagna and DJ Martin Fry for this night long special event. Doors open at 10PM and stay open ‘til 8AM! Club Q at The Spring4th Center-728 Spring Street NW www.chriscolemanenterprises.com

Featured Event - Sept. 4th

Carioca Productions and The Jungle Nightclub present Direct from NYC, internationally acclaimed DJ and Producer Hector Fonseca.

Doors open at 10PM. The Jungle 2155 Faulkner Road NE

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Datebook Monday, September 6th

Tuesday, September 7th

Pianist David Reeb entertains and welcomes everyone to sing. He has over a thousand songs and takes requests. He can even play your song in any key 8-11PM. Mixx is a non-smoking venue. Food service starts up at Mixx next week! Check it out! They are offering up samples all week long.

Mixx-1492 Piedmont Road NE www.mixxatlanta.com

AEN OTP - Atlanta Executives Network is holding it’s second quarterly Mix and Mingle outside the perimeter At LeBuzz. Bring your appetite and business cards because they are cooking out and expecting A large turn out.

Mix, mingle, network, make new contacts and friends. This event will be Hosted by: Todd Harkleroad, Cindy Gardner and Preston Burris.

LeBuzz – 545 Franklin Road Marietta, GA. www.aen.org

Nightlife

Community

Wednesday, September 8th

Nightlife

Black Gay Pride Weekend wraps up with The 6th Annual All White Affair. Hosted by Vivica A. Fox and featuring Music by DJ Sedrick from DC and DJ Mary Mac from NYC. The name says it all you know what to wear!

A party for men and women, the fun starts at 10pm ‘til 3am. At the Lava/Cosmo Lounge- 57 13th Street www.southernexplosionatlanta.com

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P.A.L.S. Bingo @ Jungle. Followed by “Fantasy Girls” Join with Bubba D. Licious and Alexandria Martin in this monthly fundraising event for Pets Are Loving Support. This month’s theme is “Jocks and Jills” (For Sports Fans). Doors open At 6:30pm and the first number is called at 7:45pm. The Jungle 2155 Faulkner Road NE www.palsatlanta.org Following Bingo the Fantasy Girls take the stage with their fabulous weekly show hosted

by Nicole Paige Brooks featuring: Phoenix, Bianca Nicole, Savannah Leigh, Jazmin Aviance, and special guests.

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Burkhart’s - Saturdays

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Cover Story

BARRY BR

TALKS ABOUT THE HEART FOUNDATION DON’T MISS YOUR CHANCE TO SEE A SNEAK PEAK OF THE UPCOMING TIN MAN PROJECT Barry Brandon continues to live his life to the fullest. From a kid who wasn’t supposed to live past infancy, this medical marvel has placed his foot down in the city with the release of an electro-pop album, producing and promoting his own events and starting a non-profit organization that is in the midst of being launched full-scale.

The Fox Theatre will be rolling out the red carpet to welcome The Heart Foundation’s Inaugural Gala in mid-September. Part of the evening will include a preview screening of The Tin Man Project, the documentary surrounding Barry’s eighth open-heart surgery and the development of this promising organization.

Born with a rare and life-threatening heart condition, Barry was not expected to survive.

With an unrelenting desire to perform on the stage, he railed against his disease. At an early age, he began to understand the healing that can occur when family is present to support and keep hopes high through such trying times. Spending a lifetime in hospitals, he was deeply affected by the many patients in surrounding rooms who had to endure these deadly procedures alone. These experiences are what sparked the inspiration for The Heart Foundation.

This past month, The Heart Foundation wrote its first check to help a family in need. September is just around the corner and The Heart Foundation is eager to help the next family. The Heart Foundation aims to alleviate the financial stress and burdens put on family and friends of heart patients who are undergoing either surgery or serious invasive procedures. The goal is to help take care of everyday expenses so that patients can have someone by their side during these difficult times. The long term goal of The Heart Foundation is to acquire Heart Houses.

Similar to those of The Ronald McDonald House yet even more personal. More of a bed and breakfast for those family and friends that are acting as the relentless driving force of hope and light behind the healing of patients. It is the belief of The Heart Foundation that love and laughter 22 davidatlanta

act as the driving force behind healing and recovering.

Barry states that, “When my sister and I were little, we always talked about getting rich so that we could give money to these people so that their families could afford to be there.” Today, they have reached their mission.

On June 16th, 2009, Barry debuted the now touring, In My Own Words, a musical journey where Barry tells his story through humor and song in a one-man act format.

In My Own Words acted as a powerful tool in introducing people to the concept behind The Heart Foundation. The Heart Foundation is hosting its Inaugural Gala on September 19, 2010 at The Fox Theatre taking place in The Grand Salon and The Egyptian Ballroom. Spearheaded by his powerhouse business-woman sister, Aleacia, the Gala is shaping up to be a veritable “who’s who” of Atlanta social and professional networks.

Suchita Vadlamani of Fox 5’s Good Day Atlanta has enthusiastically accepted a position as master of ceremonies for the Gala after a charmed interview with the performer on the local Fox morning show. The night will include an upscale catered dinner by top catering Affairs to Remember, live music, performances, raffles, auction and more.

The main attraction to the evening is the “preview screening” of The Tin Man Project. This

RANDON “

When my sister and I were little, we always talked about getting rich so that we could give money to these people so that their families could afford to be there.

Phot p ogra

hy by

highly anticipated documentary has created a great deal of buzz in Atlanta as of late, although Los Angeles based, director Jordan Hackworth has been following Barry and the Foundation in Atlanta for the past two years.

The movie was originally conceived by Barry, who, upon learning that he would need an eighth open-heart surgery decided to record the experience. “I was told I only had about a 15% chance of survival for number eight...I felt that if I had a last legacy; it would be to help others in my situation...by exposing the circumstances of a family having to endure a risky procedure.” He goes on to say, “I figured that even if I didn’t make it through the procedure, the footage could boost my message, which is actualized t h r o u g h The Heart Foundation.”

Barry has made sure that his message will be heard.

Loud and clear. e

lacan

a Ma

Aley

Barry sent the footage from his

”

procedure to his old friend, Jordan. “I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know what his intentions were. Frankly, I wasn’t sure I even wanted to watch something so traumatic.

Especially with someone I cared about.” The footage turned out to be a promising surprise for the filmmaker. Jordan says that, “It [the footage] was rife with hysterical laughter, even with only hours before the first incision. I knew I was holding something special.” The feature documentary chronicles Barry’s ambitions while his deadly surgery approaches.

Jordan began a film company to house the documentary called “B’shert Films”. “When Barry learned that I would be traveling the country, following him, his mom, and his sister who were by his side the whole time, he asked me, ‘Don’t you love that we now know why we met?’” B’shert is Yiddish for something that is meant-to-be or written-in-the-stars.

While the cameras continue to roll this fall in Atlanta, we can only sit and watch what Barry’s next move will be.

Tickets for the Gala are $100 per person with options to buy tables starting at $800. These tickets may or may not still be available. Should you wish to come just for the film, tickets are $30 each. There will be only 80 movie premier tickets sold. You may purchase them in advance or at the door (permitting there are still tickets left). The Heart Foundation will hold a Private Official After Party Celebration at MSR with DJ Vicki Powell. There is a $5 donation at the door requested. Because The Official After Party is a private event, you must be on the list to attend.

For information on The Heart Foundation, The Tin Man Project or The Official After Party, feel more than free to visit: www.theheartfoundationcharity.org www.thetinmanproject.com or email info@theheartfoundationcharity.org 23 davidatlanta

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Friday, SEPT 3rd

Onyx Bar Night Saturday, SEPT 4th

Sunday, SEPT 5th

UP COMING

Music by DJ Pat Weilke

Eagle Bowling Team Bar Night

WE ARE OPEN!!! Music by DJ Nat Atlanta Eagle Raid Anniversary

Thursday, SEPT 9th Rally in Front of Bar At 10:30 to Remember the Raid Panthers Bar Night Friday, SEPT 10th Dancers /w Music by DJ Nat Saturday, SEPT 11th Customer Appreciation Cookout 4:00 - 6:00 p.m.

Orange Party Saturday Night “Wear Your Orange!”

Balloon Drop at 1:00 a.m... Prizes Include “Eagles” Concert Tickets!

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Dj Ron Pullman - Mixx

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Oscars - Saturdays

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Ask Momma Mona Hey Momma Mona, The mother that wrote in made a point that I want to hammer in a little more --- beliefs and values are creations of society. They change ever so slowly unless enough people join together to point out if they infringe on human rights or just simply need to change for the sake of practicalities. The point is that values and beliefs CAN change and the world does not stop spinning because of it.

For example, anyone out there recall when shopping stores were closed on Sundays here in Georgia? I remember my highly religious dad ranting and raving about society going to hell when two stores in Forest Park opened up and advertised being open seven days a week – Treasure Island or something like that. About a year or so later, he was driving me there to shop because Sunday was more convenient. Ha! Practicality won out over a belief or value on not shopping on the Sabbath.

I think that once gay marriage is finally legal, even straights will concede on the practicality of it. In the meantime, EVERYONE PLEASE VOTE THIS NOVEMBER!!! You’ve got enough time to read up on the candidates and the issues. I know better than to tell you how to vote, but sometimes you’ve got to put your lesbian/gay vote where it will count most for the immediate issues at hand.

Josie I’m with you, Josie! I LOVE it when people get passionate and stand on their soap box about issues! Here’s some websites for people to check out politics in Atlanta – both Democrat and Republican, and of course Stonewall: atlantastonewall.org georgiademocrat.org/splash www.gagop.org Momma Mona encourages EVERYONE to read up and see what resonates within.

Already aligned? Then do EMAIL your reasoning for your beliefs FOR a particular candidate or party.

Hi Momma Mona, I agree that the MS student is at high risk for suicide because of her situation and BECAUSE OF her parents. A friend back in my 9th grade class shot himself with his dad’s gun and I know it was because of his dad.

Hell, coulda been his a—hole dad that actually shot him! And what really p-ssed me off at the funeral was his dad blaming Derrick’s death on the gay rights movement because that’s what messed with his head. Scared the sh--out of me because of all the “amens” in the church.

Anyway, I wasn’t doing so well with my parents either, but the one good thing (if you can call it good) is that both my parents began to talk to me more about what they were learning about having a gay son. At first they were annoying, but at least they loved and accepted me enough to find out more and to try. It did help me to feel safer at home, too.

I’m 24 now and would hate to not be able to 52 davidatlanta

go back home if I ever needed. It’s not even an issue now and I’ve even introduced two different boyfriends!

Proud of my parents in Fayetteville, TF in ATL Good for you TF! And very glad to know we have some smart people way down in Fayetteville who found the light. So sad that it takes a close to home death to shake parents up to the fact that suicide and the emotional loss of a child does not have to happen.

Approximately 10% of the population is gay and that’s in animal, bird, fish and insect populations, as well.

Momma Mona, Just want to say that what doesn’t kill you does make you stronger. That’s what most of those comments said to me. Sure, the world’s not fair and even our own parents might reject us. So what? Just go to Blake’s, Burkhart’s or any other gay bar and you’ll find and make friends who will easily fill that “family” gap.

WF The Atlanta gay/lesbian community is very supportive and learned. Besides the favorite bars, there are lots of organizations that offer socials and community based service projects to get involved with. Google ‘Atlanta Gay Organizations’ and see what strikes your fancy. Since you are reading David now, don’t forget to read “bartab” to find out what is happening this week at all of the gay/lesbian establishments.

Yo Momma Mona!

Whatever happened to Baton Bob? Just curious Hi Just Curious, Funny you should ask. I overheard someone at Kauffman Tires on Ponce talking about him last Saturday and several people voiced that they’ve not seen or heard from him in quite a while. So, I did a little research and found the official Baton Bob websites: batonbob.com Also of interest is that Wikipedia has him listed at Baton_Bob. There’s even a YouTube video of him. Baton Bob is actually Bob Jamerson and his goal in performing on the streets is to amuse and cheer passersby, to “lift people’s spirits and put a simple smile on people’s faces during their daily routine”. He occasionally calls himself the “Ambassador of Mirth”. You’ll enjoy some great pics on all of these sites and they will indeed bring a smile to your face!

However, the mystery is WHY we have not seen of heard from Baton Bob since 2008.

ANYONE KNOW???

LOVE YOU BATON BOB!

Email your questions to MommaMona@ DavidAtlanta.com

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Black Pride Weekend Thursday, September 2, 2010

Pride Kick-Off Party & Uncle Durand’s BIG Birthday Bash| Starring: TRAVIS PORTER |OBSESSIONS NIGHTCLUB) | 10 PM-4 AM|

Friday, September 3, 2010 Traxx Atlanta’s, Traxx Girls’, ITLA’s & NAESM’s Welcome Reception |Loews Hotel | |7 PM-10 PM| Traxx Atlanta’s & ITLA’s Black Pride Fire & Desire Mini Ball| Mercer Ballroom| Loews Hotel|10 PM-Until | Traxx Atlanta’s & Traxx Girls’ Fri. Night Live @ ATLANTA LIVE (aka Mansion) Starring: JAZMINE SULLIVAN| 11 PM-6 AM| Black Pride Marathon Block “Keeping The Block Alive”| 10 – Until | Spring 4th Center|

Saturday, September 4, 2010 Traxx Atlanta’s WET-HIM “We’re Gonna Blow You Out The Water” w/ Sex Siren Contest Hosted By: AMBER ROSE|ER LOUNGE|2 PM-8PM| The Legendary TRAXX Nightclub | NICKI MINAJ Performing LIVE!| 10 PM-6 AM|$1,000 Hot Body Contest |The Jay-cette Competition w/ DJ Se7en (aka DJ Taj)

Sunday, September 5, 2010 “Soulfood Poetry Slam JAZZ Brunch” Hosted by Bella Cartel & Internationally Known Spoken Soul Artist Queen Sheba |LOEWS Host Hotel | Poetry Slam $300 cash prize! 11:30AM - 2:30PM TRAXX ATLANTA’s & NAESM’s PREVENTION POOL PARTY @ PIEDMONT PARK | FRENCHIE Performing Live| Sexy Swimwear Contest|4 PM – 11 PM The TRAXX & Friends Reunion & Ol Skool House Party| DJs: RON PULLMAN & KIM KNUCKLES | COLONEL ABRAMS |Guest Of Honor- James Mason| INFERNO LOUNGE|10 PM-4 AM | Showtime Sundays @ Atlanta Live (aka Mansion)| CIARA Performing Live| Doors Open 10 Showtime Sundays @ Scores| Southern Hospitality Party| 10 PM – 4 AM|

Monday, September 6, 2010

Ve n u e s

The Annual White Party Hosted By: VIVICA FOX| Lava Lounge/Cosmopolitan|21 & Up| 10PM-3AM The Legendary Traxx Nightclub 1287 Columbia Drive Decatur, Ga 30034 Obsessions Nightclub 4525 Glenwood Rd. Decatur, Ga 30032 Atlanta Live (Aka Mansion) 3595 Clairmont Rd. Atlanta, Ga 30319

Lava Lounge/Cosmopolitan 57 13Th St., Ne Atlanta, Ga 30309 Inferno Lounge 393 Marietta St. Atlanta, Ga 30313 Spring 4Th Center 728 Spring Street, Nw Atlanta, Ga 30309

Er Lounge 84 12Th St. Atlanta, Ga 30309

Piedmont Park Pool Aquatic Center 400 Park Drive, Ne Atlanta, Ga 30306

Scores 2425 Wesley Chapel Rd. Decatur, Ga 30034

Loews Hotel (Host Hotel) 1065 Peachtree St. Atlanta, Ga 30309

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Ga Tech Hotel & Conference Center (Overflow Hotel) 800 Spring St. Atlanta, Ga 30308 Holiday Inn Atlanta Capitol Conference Center (Overflow Hotel) 450 Capitol Ave. Atlanta, Ga 30312 Palomar Hotel (Overflow Hotel) 866 W. Peachtree St., Nw Atlanta, Ga 30308

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For the Kid - Supporter Appreciation

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3 Legged Cowboy - Dance Lessons @ 8-9 Amsterdam - High Energy Videos 9pm Bellissima - Live DJ Entertainment BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Jealouse’s Daring Divas 11pm Burkharts - Mary Edith Pitts Show 11:30pm Club 91 - RT Parties brings you Klimaxx Dance Party with Miss Sophia (go go dancers) DJ Maestro, DJ Rick, DJ Scrilla spinning on two floors all night The Eagle - DJ Dance Party Felix’s - Karaoke with Brett & Tyler Friends on Ponce - Open @ Noon with Bob Brewer Heretic - Presenting the finest dance entertainment with the best local & nationally acclaimed deejays every week! Check our ad elsewhere in David for details! 10pm LeBuzz - Saturday Night Fever Show Mary’s - Dance Party Hot Mess 9PM Differnt DJ Every Week Mixx- Dance Party 10pm - 3am Model T - Free Tacos! All The Fixins! 3:30 pm to gone!

400 Party B - Sextasy Latino Night, Divas Show and DJ Dance Sanctuary Swinging Richards - Open 6:30pm - $10 7 Tripps - BBQ Cookout 1-5pm Woofs - Great Food, DrinkLIN & Good Times DB

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3 Legged Cowboy - Dance Lessons @ 8-9 - Ladies Night Amsterdam - Rita’s & Smirnoff Tini’s Special 27 Bellissima - Live DJ Entertainment C BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Texas Holdem Poker @ 7p - The Shawnna Factor @ 11p Burkharts - Princess Charles - Fashionistas 11:30pm Club 91 - Customer Appreciation FREE ALL NIGHT The Eagle - Dance Music $2.50 Schnapps Felix’s - Karaoke Friends on Ponce - HOT NIGHTS With Jasen and Donnie Heretic - Style Latin Tribal Beats & Live Bongos! 10pm Las Margarita’s - Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30PM LeBuzz - Ladies Night Shows Mary’s - Themed Parties Reto DJ’s Swinging Richards - 2-4-1 Night - Door Entry and VIP $10 Midtown W – Chris Coleman Presents “Indulge” 9pm-Midnight Mixx - Karaoke 9pm-1am Kamikaze Karaoke Contest 11-Midnight Model T - Robert & Michael serve up their Best!

Woofs - Meet and Greet for “Gathering Time”! Daily Food Specials

3 Legged Cowboy - Studs & Spurs - Shows at 10, 11, 12, and 1 Amsterdam - DJ Dance Party Bellissima - Live DJ Entertainment BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Kitty LeClaw’s Meow Mix 11pm Burkharts - Mary Edith Pitts Show 11:30pm Club 91 - It’s Bingo Bitch Hosted by: Auntie Snickers Chaparral - Got Leche? 10pm - Hot Latino Dancers The Eagle - DJ Dance Party & Club Night Felix’s - Bartenders Ray & Cory - Serve it up!

Friends on Ponce - Happy Time With Daniel and Terry Heretic - Armorettes Cabaret 3rd Saturday Of The Month 8-10PM Jungle - Party A Lo Maximo with DJ Karlitos & DJ Turz LeBuzz - Dance Party & Show Mary’s - Open 5pm - Boys Room Party - Themed Party - Love DJ Mixx - High Energy Music Videos 9pm-1am Model T - Poker Night Swinging Richards - Open 6:30pm - $10 - Hot Naked Men and Big Cocktails Tripps Bar - Laser Show Dance Party with DJ Steve Lynch Woofs - Great Food, Drink & Good Times

W. PEACHTREE ST.

3 Legged Cowboy - Intermediate 2 Step @ 8-9 Amsterdam - Get L.I.T. All Day Specials Bellissima - Texas Hold ‘Em Poker 7pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Rated R @ 11pm - Half Price Apps: ALL DAY Burkharts - Karaoke Idol 10:30pm - Close Club 91 - The Main Event Cabaret & Talent Show Followed By DJ Rick The Eagle - Modern Family Night $3 PBR 18 Friends on Ponce - H.U.M.P. DAY With Jeremy, Ken & Daniel Heretic - Boys Night Out Dress Code party 10pm - 3am Las Margaritas - Karaoke 8pm LeBuzz - Hump Night & New Entertainer Showcase Mary’s - DJ Yes Sir Spins Rock 9pm Mixx - Texas Hold’em Poker 7:30 - 10pm Model T - Free Hot Dogs! $3 Draft Beer – Karaoke Night Oscar’s - Totally Wicked 80s Night Tripps - Taco Night - Free Tacos 5PM Swinging Richards - $5 Cover! Free VIP Lounge Entry Woofs - Woofs House Trivia starts at 8:00pm

S a tu rd a y

3 Legged Cowboy - Family Poker 7:30pm Amsterdam - Showtunes 9pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Twisted Trivia @ 9pm - starring The Lady Shabazz Burkharts - Karaoke 11:30pm Club 91 - Swagg Tuesday’s The Eagle - Karaoke $3.75 Well Drinks Felix’s - Smirnoff Martini Night Friends on Ponce - Enchanted Evnings With Ken & Donnie Heretic - Gay Film Festival with Paul @ 9:30pm.

Las Margaritas - Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30pm LeBuzz - Talent Search & Karaoke Mary’s - CJ Hosting Mary-Oke @ 10pm Mixx - Texas Hold’em Poker 7:30 - 10pm Model T - Always a Party! Wyatt, Gary & Elvis serve up their Best!

Oscar’s - Show Tunes Tuesdays 8PM Swinging Richards - No Cover Tuesdays!

Woofs - Free WII from 4:00 till close - Industry Night!!

S u n da y

Amsterdam - Video Request Night - Industry Night 9pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Drag on The Edge 11pm with Alexandria Martin Burkharts - Karaoke Idol 10:30pm - Close Club 91 - DJ Scrilla with MC Pretty Pandora’s Box (@91 Below) The Eagle - Bare Chest Night $3PBR Felix’s - Free Pool! Industry Night Friends on Ponce - Afternoons with Jasen 2pm Frogs - $1 Tacos 6-9pm Heretic - Brian May is pouring up stiff drinks - 10pm to 3 am LeBuzz - Man Dance Cabaret - GOGO Dancers - Drink Specials 8pm Mary’s - Open 5pm - DJ Va Jay Jay Spins Mixx - Live Pianist 9pm - 1am Model T - Service Industry Night! Discounted Drinks!

Woofs - Texas Hold’em 8pm

NORTHSIDE DR.

We d n e s d a y

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M o n d ay

Bartab Nightlife Guide

See Guide on Page 72 for Locations 10

12

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by David C. Muller

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Epis

s i K Out of sheer boredom, Luke opened a profile on Adam4Adam.com in an effort to expand his social circle. He uploaded a series of public pictures alongside a stunning selection of private photographs that showed off various parts of his anatomy as well as his genitalia in different states of arousal.

Luke surfed through the online profiles on Adam4Adam and quickly realized that Adam4Adam.com had more ‘colorful’ profiles.

Aside from white guys, there were more profiles for Latin men and men of color than there were on Manhunt.net. Luke, like most white guys, enjoyed the stereotypically generous physicality usually attributed to both Latinos and AfricanAmericans and Luke sent *smiles* to every profile that featured a photo of a non-white male. He felt it was important to expand not just his social circle but also to broaden his ethnic horizons as well.

Luke instantly received several messages in reply: Bolivareyes sent “Nice pics.” 9x6yAtl said, “Fine, thank you. How are you?” HotBlckJck wrote “Unlock” and “Where you at?”

Luke struck up a conversation with ‘Kapuunkaa.’

Turned out that the real name for ‘Kapuunkaa’ was ‘Kevin’ and Kevin lived in ‘Kennesaw.’ In his profile photos, Kevin had a tight body; he was trim, fit and muscular like a swimmer with smooth skin and nice, neat little bubble butt.

Coming in at five-foot-five, Kevin was shorter than Luke and, according to the stats in his profile, thinner and, thusly, lighter in weight.

Kevin was the first to open the lines of dialogue, “What do you like to do?”

“I like everything.” Luke responded with a plethora of questions: “What do you like to do?

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K r fo You got any dick pics? Are you well hung?”

“LOL!” Kevin said, “I like to kiss, I like body contact. I’m average in size and I like to be dominated.”

“Can I see your pics?” To his surprise, Luke saw Kevin was Asian when he opened his private photographs.

Luke asked, “Are you from Atlanta originally?”

“I’m from Korea. I hope that’s not a problem.”

Luke typed eight words: “I’ve never been with an Asian guy before.” Luke asked, “Do you live alone?”

“Yes.” “Do you have any pets?”

“No,” Kevin said, “No pets.”

“Are you a top or a bottom?”

“I like them both.” Kevin smiled in Kennesaw, “You like to flip f—k?”

Luke, in Midtown, also smiled, he said, “This will be a new experience for me.”

“You want to come over?”

“Yes.” “But I’m in Kennesaw.”

“I have a car.”

And so Luke drove from Midtown north on I-85.

He drove by the suburbs of Vinings, Smyrna, and Marietta, he drove in on the Cobb Parkway and, eventually; finally; he arrived to Kevin’s sepia-toned apartment. There was a fish tank in the living room; there was also a leather sofa.

Luke thought the apartment smelled like soy sauce and chicken but, in the blinding fury of his immediate horniness, he stripped off his

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shirt and stepped out of his pants and fell into the arms of Kevin and, together, they fell into a passionate, naked embrace as they tumbled into a frolic upon that aforementioned leather sofa.

Between deep kisses and light panting, Luke asked, “Are you into oral sex?” He kissed the Asian again and again, “Do you give Pacific rim jobs?”

“Yes,” Kevin sucked on Luke’s tongue, “I like to get my d—k sucked.”

Luke looked down at Kevin’s crotch; Kevin was uncut but, aside from that, Luke was unimpressed with what Kevin had to offer. Luke pushed down on Kevin’s shoulder, he said, “Get down on your knees, lick my b—s like a good little bitch why don’t you?”

“You s—k me first,” Kevin pulled Luke down toward his little happy wand, “I like oral sex!”

Kevin smiled through slatted eyes and nodded his head eagerly.

Due to the ‘Standards and Practices’ of ‘David Atlanta Magazine,’ “we” are unable to tell you how Luke went down on Kevin’s inch or about how Luke licked Kevin’s rectum but “we” can tell you about the conversation they had between various thrusts of dry humping: Luke whispered into Kevin’s ear, he said, “I want you to go down on me.”

“Oh yes,” Kevin wheezed, “but first you must put a condom on.”

Luke stopped nibbling on his neck, “What?”

“I won’t s—k d—k unless there is a condom.”

“That’s a bit of a buzzkill, don’t you think?”

Kevin said, “I have bad gums and I don’t want to catch disease.”

“I have to wear a condom for you to s—k my d—k? That’s stupid. I won’t even feel anything that way.”

“Then I prefer not to s—k your d—k please, sir.”

“Please sir, my ass.” Luke said, “Get down there and s—k my d—k you g—y bitch!”

Kevin poked his finger into Luke’s anus, he said, “Please sir, I want to f—k you instead.”

“That’s fine,” Luke said. “Just get down there and l—k my h—e before you do.”

“Oh no,” Kevin shook his head, “I don’t do rimming.”

“Well that’s just peachy. So let me get this straight,” Luke said, “you won’t s—k my d—k unless I wear a condom and you want to f—k me but you won’t l—k my h—e?”

“Please sir,” Kevin cooed, “I am horny.”

“You tell me all of this after I drive all the way out here from Midtown? You won’t even l—k my h—e before you f—k me with that tiny little penis?” Luke made an angry face, “What the f—k is up with this s—t?

“I want to be careful because of diseases.”

“I like to be careful, too, but this is overkill.”

Luke pulled a sock back over his barefoot, “I drove all the way out here for this? I mean, come on! Look at me,” Luke stood up, “I’m fuckin’ hot!

Now get on your damn knees and take it, you damn g—y manwhore!”

Needless to say Luke drove back to Midtown angry and, during the long drive from Kennesaw, Luke decided to pay another visit to that palm reader out in Gwinnett County…

NEXT EPISODE: “L-M-N-Oh no!”

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Gay Atlanta Guide 400

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1. Amsterdam 502 Amsterdam Ave. 404-892-2227 myspace.com/amsterdamatlanta

20. Mary’s 1287 Glenwood Ave. 404-624-4411 www.marysatlanta.com

2. Bellissima 560-B Amsterdam Ave. 404-917-0220 myspace.com/bellissima_lounge

21. Mixx 1492 Piedmont Rd. 404-228-4372

3. Blake’s on the Park 227 10th St. 404-892-5786 myspace.com/blakesonthepark 4. BJ Roosters 2345 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-634-5895 www.bjroostersatl.com 5. Bulldogs 893 Peachtree St. 404-872-3025 6. Burkhart’s 1492-F Piedmont Rd. 404-872-4403 www.burkharts.com 7. Chaparral 2715 Buford Hwy. 678-886-3205 8. Club Europe 4001 Presidential Pkwy.

770-452-1240 www.thelionsdenatlanta.com 9. Club Opera 1150-B Crescent Ave. 404-872-1150 www.operaatlanta.com 10. Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-873-2453 www.atlantaeagle.com 11. Felix’s 1510-G Piedmont Rd. 404-249-7899 12. Friends On Ponce 736 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-817-3820 www.friendsonponce-atl.com 13. Gilbert’s 219 10th St. 404-872-8012 www.gilbertscafe.com 14. Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-325-3061 www.hereticatlanta.com 15.HOBNOB 1551 Piedmont Ave. 404-968-2288 16. Joe’s on Juniper 1049 Juniper St. 404-875-6634 www.joesatlanta.com 17. Jungle 2115 Faulkner Rd. 404-844-8800 jungleclubatlanta.com 18. LeBuzz 585 Franklin Rd. (Marietta) 770-424-1337 www.thenewlebuzz.com 19. Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-873-4464 www.lasmargaritasatl.com

22. Model-T 699 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-872-2209 www.modeltatlanta.com 23. My Sisters Room 1271 Glenwood Ave. SE 678-705-4585 24. New Order 1544 Piedmont Rd. 404-874-8247 25. Opus 1 1086 Alco St. 404-634-6478

PRIVATE SOCIAL CLUBS 40. Eros 2219 Faulkner Rd. 404-287-4482 41. Manifest 2103 Faulkner Rd. 404-549-2815

Atlanta Tourist Spots

A. Atlanta Botanical Gardens B. Atlanta History Center C. Atlantic Station D. Centennial Olympic Park E. CNN - Atlanta F. Fox Theater G. Georgia Aquarium H. Georgia State Capitol I. High Museum of Art J. Margaret Mitchell House K. The Atlanta Opera and The Atlanta Ballet L. The Atlanta Symphony Orchestra M. Virginia-Highlands N. World of Coca-Cola O. Zoo Atlanta

26. Oscar’s 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE www.oscarsatlanta.com 27. Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr. 404-352-0532 www.swingingrichards.com 28. 3 Legged Cowboy 931 Monroe Dr. 404-876-0001 www.3leggedcowboy.net 29. Tripps 1931 Piedmont Cir. 404-724-0067 30. Woofs 2425 Piedmont Rd. 404-869-9422 www.woofsatlanta.com 31. 91 91 Broad Street SW 404.581.0577 www.91below.com

GYMS/SPAS/BATHS 32. FLEX 76 - 4th St. NW 404-815-0456

33. Gravity Fitness 2201 Faulkner Rd. NW 404-486-0506 34. Workout Anytime 2140 Peachtree Rd. 404-351-3264

RETAIL/BOOKS/DVDS

35. Atlanta Leather Company 2070 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-320-8989 36. Brushstrokes/Capulets 1510 Piedmont Ave. 404-876-6567 37. Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Rd. 404.873.2264 www.boynextdoor.biz 38. Outwrite Bookstore & Cafe 991 Piedmont Ave. 404-607-0082

through

39. Poster Hut 2175 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-633-7491

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SpeedLove Whether you are looking for a date, love or just some fun, Speed Love is your #1 source for LGBT Speed Dating. Date plenty, handsome singles in a short amount of time. Why spend months trying to find your soulmate, when you can find them in one night!

The events are happening at all your favorite bars and clubs like Bellissima, 3 Legged Cowboy, Mixx, Las Margaritas, Cowtippers and so on.

To participate = 10$ (includes the first drink to relax) and you can always bring your friends to come and to hang and support you at the bar.

For participants, SEATS ARE LIMITED AT

EACH EVENT, so make sure you rsvp asap for the events! After rsvp on their facebook page, send them a mail with your name, gender, age, hobbies and your favorite places to go out so they can seat you at the right tables :) And of course they always take care that you don’t run into your ex while dating. Just let this the dating crew know at the beginning of the event. Try it once and you’ll be addicted! It’s fun and an exciting way of dating.

Info at: facebook.com/lgbtloveatlanta requests to: speedloveatl@ymail.com

BarFlies he Collaboration of your favorite Event Promoters, their Crews and your favorite LGBT Bars, Clubs, their Bartenders and LGBT Businesses!

BAR.FLIES is calling all bartenders, event managers, promoters, bar owners, lgbt company owners, their staff, dancers, DJs, club owners and their favorite party people to a monthly event to celebrate our dedication to the nightlife and to finally party together! Let’s celebrate being the scene makers of the nightlife in the LGBT community.

During our hectic bar and event lives, we don’t have the time to meet and to have a party together! This event is all about unity!

BAR.FLIES is bringing the CRAZIEST European style party right into the heart of Atlanta. No wallflowers or non-drinkers allowed because this is ... 100% Party! What happens at BAR. FLIES, stays at BAR.FLIES...and what we don’t remember the next day, will be for the better.

You the friends of the nightlife are warmly welcomed to celebrate with the real party animals, your promoters, and bartenders.

Rain or sun, the party is going to happen and it will be very, very hot! The purpose of BAR.FLIES is to have some fun and celebrate together!

Everyone is welcomed to party with us, but you have to make sure to get your name on the list.

Dusty, the founder of the BAR.FLIES, is also the founder of Speed Love, the Speed Dating Service all over the Atlanta LGBT Bars. She is from Germany and her background is from the Bar and Club scene. She has opened up her first Cocktail bar at the age of twenty one. She had two Cocktail bars and expanded her selfemployment to an Event- and Concert hall for 1200 guests.

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Love made her leave it all behind and move to Los Angeles where she threw a couple girls parties and the same Love story brought her to Atlanta early summer this year.

After volunteering for a gay internet company, she started bringing this project to the Atlanta LGBT Promoter and Nightlife Scene. Through volunteering, she started connecting with the important people and founders of several projects, organizations and events in the LGBT scene. She says that she has heard plenty of mean rumors and a lot of trash talk about people and all that has just encouraged her to push this project, BAR.FLIES, were everybody comes together and sees that the most important thing, for all of us in the LGBT community, is unity.

It is important to celebrate together and to accept one another the way we are. Isn’t that what makes us special? That we are all colors under the rainbow? Everybody tries to be successful but there are different ways to do it and for her only the fair and right way is one that involves unity. Her statement is, life is too short to play fake games. She says: “I believe in karma and, as we all know, karma is a B!tch. If everybody would just treat everyone, the same way they want to be treated, the world would be a wonderful place.”

So, whoever wants to be involved in the project, BAR.FLIES, is happily welcomed. Just reach out to her and be patient. As you can imagine, SHE IS SUPER BUSY :) See you all at on Sunday the 12th of September at 3pm at the BAR.FLIES #3 - The Pool Party RSVP and Infos: facebook.com/BAR.FLIES BAR.FLIES@yahoo.com

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3 Legged Cowboy - Saturdays

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Drag Time

What is Drag?

By Makaila Andrews What is drag? This seems to be the question on many people’s minds these days. The art of drag is in a rapid ever changing mode, and with each new face that graces the scene, a new state of artistic expression evolves. This weeks focus is on the definitive answer to that question. Drag has been around for centuries, first starting out as a simple disguise to fool the eyes of certain enemies.

Progressively this art evolved into a style of acting in Shakespearean times as a way for men to portray female counterparts in theatrical productions where women were not allowed on the stage.

Finally, as years passed by, men and women alike, developed this art into a sort of temporary gender reassignment to entertain audiences all across the planet. This is the point at which the art of drag has continued it’s evolution.

The late 70’s and early 80’s brought drag into the mainstream as a true form of nightlife entertainment. Although primarily in gay culture, this style of performance became a world wide sensation, and has been on a constant upward climb of growth and acceptance. At first, only an elite number of individuals dared to attempt the impossible, these were the true pioneers of the craft. Divine, RuPaul, Charlie Brown, Lily White, and even Bugs Bunny, were some of those who have paved the way. It is not enough to just look like a girl or a boy, you have got to have something spectacular about you to impress audiences. Now, there are some amazingly talented drag artist out there, I feature a different one each week, but then there are many who are just another pretty face.

Drag today is like any other entertainment avenue, you have got to have that spark of AWWW to really make it.

As a entertainer myself, I have created a set of guidelines for up and comings to follow. First,

Drag Artist of the Week

This weeks featured artist is the amazing Monica Van Pelt. Monica is a 36 years young veteran to the art of drag. She was born in Baytown, Texas, but was raised all over the united states, you see, she is what we all know as a military brat. Her father was in service, and work many hours away from home, so Miss Monica drew inspiration, love, and support from her beautiful and strong mother.

Her mother taught her and her sister the right and wrongs of life, and instilled into their hearts how to be strong and proud individuals. At the tender age of 17, Monica begin her career as a drag artist, for her, it was a way to get into gay clubs, but without a doubt, it turned out to be a much great passion and desire. At 20 years old, she began seriously pushing forward with her art, ever changing, and ever growing as time went on. Each time she applies a new face, creates a new costume, or rehearses a new song, Monica says there is truly something to be learned.

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before you ever step on a stage, be completely prepared! Practice makes perfect, from hair and makeup, yes boys too, costuming, persona, and performance. Secondly, pay very close attention to details! The smallest of details can separate you from everyone else. You must stand out! Third, be unique, and yes, I know this can be a hard one.

Just because another entertainer performs similar song chooses, does not mean you can not make it your own. Forth, take advice from veterans of the craft! These individuals have already jumped every hurdle and been through every obstacle you may face. Fifth, trust your audience! They will let you know if what you are doing is successful or if you need to fine tune your art. Sixth, evolve yourself! Drag is in constant change, for you to truly succeed, you must move with the movement.

Finally, seventh, stay humble! Never believe you are greater than anyone else, drag artistry is something that takes years to perfect, then again, even veterans are still learning. Your career can take long strides to become successful, but can crumble in a split second. I hope this advice will help many along the journey to success as an entertainer in the art of drag.

So, what is going on in the pageantry world? Well, this week all I really want to say is, what happen to the talent section of girl pageants? Just recently watched the Miss Universe Pageant, congrats to Miss Mexico, but where is the talent, I personally want to be entertained by these girls. Being pretty is fine and dandy, but give me some raw talent any day. I am currently in a state of disappointment, real girl pageants need to take some pointers from drag pageants, now that’s what I call competition!

Well babies, that is all for this week, stay reading, and keep your eyes open for more great informative tidbits in Drag Time with Makaila Andrews!

MVP’s most proud success was back in 2001, when she won the title of Miss National at Large 20012002. This position allowed her the opportunity to entertain the masses all across the United States, and gave her some of her fondest memories of her art.

Another great success that I should not fail to mention is for 4 seasons, Miss Van Pelt cohosted Mouth of the South Live. Currently residing in Atlanta, Monica took a few years off, and has recently began her come back to the spotlight. She has been performing throughout the southeast and is co-hosting Wild Wednesdays at the New Lebuzz in Marietta. As far as future endeavor, be on the look out, Monica believes in spontaneity, there is absolutely no telling where you might find her. In conclusion, Miss Monica Van Pelt would like to send the greatest of thanks to all who have supported, and believed in her, and would like to give all the new girls out there just a small bit of advice, “Pay attention, you never know who might be watching you, so always put your best foot forward!”

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horoscopes ARIES TAURUS

by Lucy

You sit whatever still lately --it you’ve gotslow a restless for You can’t needjust to do takes to downyearning this week — even ifnew! thatYour means the brakes on of some something greatslamming energy helps you break out any project that means a lot to you.

Things should pick up ruts and should see you hot-footing it somewhere sweet, pronto. very soon, but progress this week is false.

It’s vital that you keep yourself from spending money this Open --upatand another perspective it should week leasttake on in impulse purchases!

Don’t—even glancebe at quite valuable It’s a good timeorfor you to step the shelves next to to you! the checkout counter, you might end up up your efforts to show a friend or loved one that you are spending twice as much as you want. totally on their side.

GEMINI

Listen -- someone is trying to get your advise Thingsupare a little strained right now,attention but not and so much you something could beYou a very deal thatabout you can’t figurethat it all out. do big need tointrythea long few run.

Good advicebefore is surelyyou’re cominglikely your way, make how the most experiments to so know to of it! proceed, so use your brain!

CANCER

Your thinking savesthan everyone heartache this Otherquick people are more a littleneedless confused lately, and week, so seemean if youthat canthey stay keep in themisunderstanding center of things at work or that could you — even when yourself!

You may wantyou to at home.

Youyou maytry notto beexplain feeling all that cheerful, but once let it go until next week. pop up, it’s all good.

LEO

Don’t wild runnew off gossip half-cocked right — youpretty need to Some comes your waynow -- probably early absorb theyou situation you can It’s really make any -that sets off on afully wildbefore chase for more. a great time to headway.

Check andout double-check.

Once know get your people to check what’s really going on you out there. what’s going on, your actions should stick.

VIRGO

Your toisgetjust through the is depending sense Your ability energy forweek now— especiallyon if your you have of -- so it’s aright good thing that inspiration strikes early! bigpurpose plans you want to push forward!

Little things should You may not totally but you tell that right. conspire to be help youenthused, out, so you cancan expect to it’s meet all

LIBRA

Your relationships need maintenance -- but you’re up for it!

In fact,you feel more ever when it comes to Your emotional stateenergized is a littlethan difficult to handle right coworkers, and together family members, so start now. See ifromantic you canpartners get things long enough to gabbing! bow out of any big meetings or appointments. It’s a good

SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS

goals.

self-care time, that’s for sure!

You reach out without thinking to help a friend or coworker in Your --social energy haspoints definitely been working need and score major as a result!

You may for not you feel — it’s a great to but bury the doesn’t hatchet, that you’ve earnedtime them, karma caremake what new your contacts or even take the first step toward a new romanintentions are. tic entanglement. Why not?

Your energy is extremely active right now, and you should find that This isanything not a good time to bust outsure thethat credit cards or to almost is possible -- so you’ve a full forget about the Ifmake you can your got savings slate activities to long-term. choose from. want toboost try it all! this of month, you are sure to You appreciate your foresight in the far-off future.

CAPRICORN

You’ve got to remember those who came before you this week -you’re in iftouch your ancestors than adriving lot of other You may more feel as yourwith good energy has been you folks, that big gives you some serious Ponder what to thisand week’s moment.

It could bepower. an award or just a they’d of this week’s bigthe news. hint ofthink praise from exactly right person, but now you know where to start building.

AQUARIUS PISCES

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Your big ideas are helping you see the truth behind the confusion.

This is of not a good week — at notthere for It’s one those weeks whenfor youstruggles are probably tooleast far out you!

Tryfolks to get your friends backcatch you for most to understand, butand takecolleagues heart -- theyto should up,soon! but you may just need to hunker down and wait for a up more auspicious day to fight back.

Your focus is so intense it gets a little scary this week, whether A stroke of good is more than it seems to bea— you’re working on luck a complicated project or watching terrible though that doesn’t mean You you have to getquite to the bottom old rom-com on television. may learn a lot about of it! You can just enjoy the good energy and give yourself! thanks to those who watch out for you.

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Ummm... You have tattoos all over your neck.

Dumb f#@k!

So you like to massage my nipple’s. Want to do more?

Your entire day is spent digging up drama on anyone you cant and posting it on Facebook.

You wonder why the only friends you can attract are cracked out twinks.

Don’t be a fool -- Wrap your tool!

Orange shorts? Really?? Bitch, that color doesn’t even look good on an orange!

Did I shave my cock for this?

I smell it in your eyes!

Eagle gets raided and not one fucker did anything but hit the floor...guys stop bitching about it. Worst regression of gay pride ever. Stonewall was trannies chasing cops out of their home place. YOU CAN’T BE OPPRESSED YESTERDAY. Just because I sing along when Whitney comes on the jukebox does not mean that I am down with black men.

The more you call out “Bartender!” when I’m in the middle of making a drink, the more I hate you and will ignore you.

Why did you volunteer your help then avoid my calls? People should spend less time trying to be needed or important and more time just being real.

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Apparently it is a crime to go on a few dates with someone and not fall head over heels for them. I know YOU think you’re hot shit, but I do not.

You flirt with me yet you say your moving to california. Mixed signals much?

Not prostitute. Not escorts. NOW it is called house cleaners.

So, right in the middle of a conversation some bitch says, “So, what’s your girlfriend’s name again?” Sorry. Forgot we can’t just be friends.

Why is it so hard to get laid in Atlanta?

You whine about things not being perfect but don’t lift a finger to help or bother to say thank you. Find someone else to baby sit you.

Newsflash: if you have a lot of drama in your life, it’s because you are bringing it on yourself.

Fashion ‘stake: your shirt is way too big...but at the same time...way too short. You look like the Liberty Bell, bitch!

He’s so hot I would suck a fart out of his ass and hold it like a bong hit!

Certain bars in the city should really consider getting some air conditioning.

You have been giving me eyes for the past two hours at the bar, can you please just grow some balls and walk over and say hello.

These drag shows are getting out of hand.

Can someone please open a new bar and hopefully decide NOT to have a drag show. If you do, just have different acts.