David Magazine | Atlanta Issue 604

AUGUST 11, 2010 ISSUE 604

Mary Edith Pitts’ Birthday Fundraiser

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DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE 1874 Piedmont Avenue 390-C Atlanta, GA 30324 Mon-Fri 9:30am-6:00pm Phone: 404.418.8901 Fax: 404.418.8901 ext. 7 www.davidatlanta.com mail@davidatlanta.com publisher Matt Neumann matt@davidatlanta.com

creative director Knyckolas Davis

knyckolas@davidatlanta.com

associate editor Jesse Hancock jesse@davidatlanta.com

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photography Brian Sawyer Matt Neumann Jon Sinquefield

brent star 50 the report 52 health check

senior account executive Karisha Anderson

seen@ 12 16 38 54 58

operations and finance Brian Sawyer

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guides 27 datebook

70 bartab 72 the guide 74 classifieds

features

56 atlanta a-z 94 bitch session

account executives Randy Ladd graphic design Matt Neumann

brian@davidatlanta.com

marketing & promotions Chip O'Kelley chip@davidatlanta.com

national ad rep Rivendell Media 908.232.2021 contributors Luis Chiruco David Muller Bhairavi Bhatt

Brent Star Lucy Dr. Roth

cover Mary Edith Pitts Photographer: Les Bouska

Opinions expressed by any writer appearing in this publication are not necessarily those of the staff, management, advertisers, organizations or persons appearing in this magazine. No Part of this publication may be reproduced by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopy recording or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. The mention, appearance or likeness of any person, business, organization, or event in this publication is in no way to be taken as any identification of the sexual, social or political orientation of such persons, businesses, events organizations, staff, shareholders or owners of such. DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, errors or changes in information, events and schedules in ads, features or calendars. DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE reserves the right to reject or cancel any advertisement submitted. All copy, text, graphics, photo's and illustrations in submitted ads are published with the understanding that the person and business’ submitting such are fully authorized and have secured proper consent for the use of images, graphics, pictures, names, logos and testimonials used in such ads and that DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE may lawfully publish the same. By submitting such materials, the advertiser agrees to indemnify and hold blameless DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE from any liability resulting from the publication of any such 4 davidatlanta materials or images.

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Burkhart’s Karaoke Tuesdays

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cover

Birthday Girl Working to Reach High Goal

By JESSE A. HANCOCK

Mary Edith Pitts, famously known around town for years of performing in drag with the Armorettes and on her own, and from hosting shows at Burkhart’s, has a heart bigger than most fans and bar patrons know.

Inspired by the tragic loss of best friends, Pitts has spent the past several years raising money for HIV/AIDS around her birthday. With close to 5,000 friends on Facebook alone, she is generously at work again this year and asking ALL her friends, old and new, to help a very worthy cause.

Her goal this year is to raise $60,000, and at this point she has raised approximately $28,500 from donations at shows, donors, and a scooter raffle.

“Money is still trickling in from the scooter raffle but we still need some big checks from donors,” said Pitts, whose real name and alter ego is Richard Cherry.

Pitts says her reason for doing this fundraiser is “simple,” that as difficult as it is in this economy for an average person to get by, it’s even more challenging for someone living with HIV/AIDS. On August 21 she will be drawing the winner of the scooter raffle, for which she has been tirelessly selling tickets for weeks. Whether she reaches the goal or not, she plans to present her donation on Aug 29 to Jerusalem House, which provides housing for individuals with HIV/AIDS, and to The Grady Infectious Disease Program, which provides comprehensive healthcare.

Q&A With Mary Edith Pitts David: We wish you the best in reaching your fundraising goal. What can we do to help?

MEP: Challenge your friends who may be in a better financial position to make a tax-deductible donation. Growing up, my birthdays were never special, and as an adult they didn’t have much meaning. When my best friend Kevin passed away before my birthday, I found an opportunity to step outside my own grief and honor his memory and the memory of my first best friend, Barry. Now what I ask everyone is instead of gifts, flowers, cakes or cards, bring me a tax-deductible donation to help individuals living with HIV/AIDS. I look forward to my birthday now because it has real meaning for me . . . I get to help others. My first birthday fundraiser in 2006 raised $1,700.

In 2007 we raised $6,600. In 2008 we raised over $20,000, and in 2009 we set the bar high ad raised over $40,000. This year I set the goal at $60,000. I know it’s ambitious, but the need is greater than ever. What is amazing is the community support and sponsors like Burkhart’s, Prescription4Love. com, Carma Productions, Brushstrokes and countless friends and family.

David: Who are some of your favorite 18 davidatlanta

singers/entertainers?

MEP: Eva Cassidy and Audra McDonald are my favorite vocalists. Monique & Wanda Sykes make me laugh the most.

David: What is your favorite characteristic in a man?

MEP: Quiet confidence David: What kind of guy are you attracted to?

MEP: Though my character is notorious for bringing twinks on stage, I’m usually attracted to men between the ages of 30 & 50 who are comfortable being themselves.

They must also be able to separate my stage persona from who I am.

David: What size shoe do you wear?

MEP: Womens 13 David: What are some of your favorite Atlanta restaurants?

MEP: Murphys, Roxx, Metrotainment David: What are some of your favorite movies?

MEP: The Notebook, Death Becomes Her, Auntie Mame

David: What’s your favorite alcoholic drink?

MEP: Smirnoff Triple Black David: What advice do you have for gays in the closet?

MEP: Girl, its dark in there, turn on a light!

David: What advice do you have for gays who just came out of the closet?

MEP: Did you get dressed in the dark? Be yourself and “don’t go changing to try and please” someone else.

David: What advice do you have for new couples?

MEP: Enjoy being a couple but don’t lose sight of who you are individually.

David: What was your most embarrassing moment performing?

MEP: I was sitting down performing a song and everyone kept pointing and laughing.

Much to my horror and embarrassment, I realized there was a giant hole in my body suit and I wasn’t wearing panties that night.

Ooops!

David: What do you do for fun outside work?

MEP: I play piano, read, listen to great music, and watch movies. Can we say cliché?

David: How many piercings do you have?

MEP: Mary Edith has one, Richard, none.

David: What makes you laugh?

MEP: Bodily functions have always made me laugh. I think something about spending 4 ½ years in an orphanage made me look at the world differently.

David: Team Edward or Team Jacob?

MEP: I’d do both of them sissies!

David: What is one thing that fans would be surprised to know about Richard?

MEP: That I’m very shy and quiet when I first meet people.

David: Are you pro gay marriage?

MEP: Definitely! We should be able to be miserable too.

David: What TV show that is no longer on do you miss most?

MEP: The Nanny made me laugh every time!

David: Who’s your favorite “True Blood” character?

MEP: Alcide and Jason Stackhouse David: In your own words, what three words best describes Mary Edith Pitts?

MEP: Outrageous, Caring, Committed.

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Wednesday Aug. 11 Hello Dali!

High Museum of Art (ongoing through Jan. 9, 2011) Tuesdays – Saturdays 10 – 5 (extended hours Thursdays til 8) and Sundays 12- 5.

This is the first major exhibition that focuses on the last half of surreal artist Salvador Dalí’s career. In the late 1930s he went through a radical change in which he embraced Catholicism, developed the concept of nuclear mysticism and, in effect, reinvented himself as an artist.

Comprising more than 40 paintings and a related group of drawings, prints and other Dalí ephemera, Salvador Dalí: The Late Work will explore the artist’s enduring fascination with science, optical effects and illusionism as well as his connections to such artists and celebrities of the 1960s and 1970s as Andy Warhol, Roy Lichtenstein, Willem de Kooning and Alice Cooper. For more information or tickets online, go to www.high.org.

datebook

Say Hello to a “Prairie Bitch”

7:30 p.m. Outwrite Bookstore and Coffeehouse. For seven years, she played the little girl everyone loved to hate on the hit television series “Little House on the Prairie.” Actress and social activist Alison Arngrim visits Outwrite with her comic memoir “CONFESSIONS OF A PRAIRIE BITCH: How I Survived Nellie Oleson and Learned to Love Being Hated.” Reading from and signing copies of the new book, Arngrim shares her experiences. The event is free and open to the public.

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Thursday Aug. 12

Queer Literary Festival Fundraiser

7:00 p.m. Eddie’s Attic, Decatur. Tickets are $12 in advance, $15 at the door, $60 tables. The Atlanta Queer Literary Festival Benefit Show is part music part comedy.

Come listen to the sounds of local favorites KenJ, Lucas Mire and the legendary Bucky Motter, plus keyboard wizards Andy Ditzler and Guyton Maurice, and the debut of Julia Carroll and Amy Lashley’s new band, Without a Net. The comedy line-up includes the host of comedy night at Eddie’s, Alyssa Barnett-Schott, plus Mindy Dawn Friedman, Vivian Alford, and Sanders Hulsey. Proceeds from the show will support the 4th Annual Atlanta Queer Literary Festival. To purchase tickets, please visit us at www.eddiesattic. com or call (877) 548-3237.

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Acoustic evening with Juan Cezar at Bellissima

8:30 p.m. $5 Cover. Special guests Amber Taylor, Lekia Love, and Just Jo perform with Juan Cezar. A night with acoustic performances which are perfect for your Thursday night.

Gadget Geeks and Techies Unite!

7:00 p.m. Gizmodo Day at Octane, 1009 Marietta Street. Gizmodo readers will be holding meetups this day at over 300 locations around the world. Gizmodo is a blog about gadgets and technology. Started in 2002, Gizmodo has grown to be Gawker Media’s largest blog, bringing in upwards of 100 million page views a month in traffic. It posts about a variety of electronics, as well as all sorts of things gadget geeks might enjoy.

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Friday Aug. 13

Atlanta Cotillion Night

9:30 p.m., Mixx, Atlanta Cotillion Night and VJ Videos. Come relax in this non-smoking venue. DVJ Mister Richard will showcase new release videos, classic videos, and all time favorites! $2 suggested door donation $5 Smirnoff Martinis. Money raised supports Maximillian Corwell’s Cotillion campaign, and 100% of the proceeds will go back to AID Atlanta to fight HIV/AIDS. To donate online go to www.atlantacotillion.com.

Saturday Aug. 14

Tip it! Queen of the Gays Returns!

7 p.m. and 10 p.m. Kathy Griffin comes to town for two shows at The Fabulous Fox Theatre. Catch double Emmy award winning Kathy Griffin live in her true element. She has more stories, more dish and more of what she shouldn’t say but you know you want to hear. Go to Ticketmaster to order tickets online, but hurry before it sells out.

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This Eagle Soars!

10:00 p.m. DJ Jay McCracken at the Eagle.

Never a cover charge for some of the best DJs in Atlanta. Does it get any hotter than that? The Eagle says no, and when they do, we listen.

Sunday Aug. 15 Church Services

Attend one of Atlanta’s many gay or gay friendly churches. Some of these churches include: St. Bartholomew Episcopal Church, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Atlanta, St. Mark United Methodist Church, and First MCC of Atlanta. Check websites for times, locations, and more information.

Flag Football Beer Bust

2:00 p.m. at FROGS Cantina. The National Flag Football League of Atlanta (NFFLA) invites you to Frogs Cantina to help support the league as they get ready to send two traveling teams to Arizona to bring home the Gay Super Bowl Trophy. $10 for all the beer you can drink from the keg(s), so bring a friend or two and enjoy a SundayFunday with the NFFLA players and fans.

For more details go to www.nffla.com.

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Iman. You never know which special guests may drop by.

Tuesday Aug. 17 Sing Me A Song

Mary-oke, 9 p.m., Mary’s. Voted Atlanta’s best karaoke at a bar voted the best gay bar in the U.S. and among the best gay bars in the world. Visit host CJ for this one of a kind experience each Tuesday. For more info go to www.marysatlanta.com.

Monday Aug. 16 Seeing Stars

10:30 p.m. Jungle Club, 2115 Faulkner Rd., $10 admission. Come see the hottest drag show in town, the Stars of the Century!

Doors open at 10:30 p.m. with the New Kids Show starting at 11 p.m. Stars of the Century starts at midnight. The legendary Niesha Dupree hosts the cast, which includes Jasmine Bonet, Necole Luv Dupree, Stasha Sanchez, Raquell Lord, Chantel Lord, Diamond Monroe, and male leads Archie Bonet, Joe Jackson, R’darius Black, Al Milan Dupree, and Christopher

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advice

Momma Mona To come out to your parents or not. WHAT A HOT TOPIC! Momma Mona received lots of comments in response to last week’s postings. (To the writers, it’s the teacher in me that has corrected most misspellings and grammar.) This is evidently a hot topic close to many people’s hearts. Momma Mona reads between the lines and sees so much hurt and anger. Wish I could hug every one of you! Since I can’t, it is good to vent. It is also good to realize through sharing that there are many others who have also suffered through this seemingly gay passage of sorts. Thankfully, the Gay Rights Movement has paved the way in education and support so that the new generation coming out does not have to experience the horrors some of their older generations did (read #2 and #9 below).

I’m with ‘Fine Inside” on not coming out to your family if you don’t have to. I left my hell home when I was 16 because I feared for my life from my father and older brother. I’m 24 now and happy to be me – alive and far away from Fargo, North Dakota! ~ T.

It took me back to high school reading about “Fine Inside’s” double agent persona growing up. I think many of us in the70s had to do just that or risk physical harm. Hell, I got beat up enough NOT coming out!

I didn’t know any better or different to NOT talk about it to my parents when I was really young – around 8. I just said I thought I was gay at the dinner table. While I did have to talk to a counselor a couple of times and my parents were a little awkward talking about it, I don’t recall it being too traumatic. I’m 22 now.

I agree not to come out to your family if you can avoid it. I, too, maintained two personas while growing up. It didn’t always feel good, but it was a necessity at the time. Will I ever come out to them? I don’t think I need to. Like “Fine Inside”, I moved as far away from family as possible. ~K

My parents divorced, too, over me. Now, I’m ashamed of my dad just as much as he is ashamed of me. I’ve not seen or spoke to him in over nine years. Even my mother is embarrassed to have been married to such a red neck a—hole.

I got a funny story about my coming out. I ran away from home when I was 13 so my family wouldn’t know about me and so I could freely explore this lifestyle. About six years later, I finally shared with my mom over the phone and asked her not to tell dad.

When I talked to her next, she had told him and he had said, “so what else is new?” He said he figured that one out years ago!

Why bother telling your family especially if you know there’s no way in hell they will accept you? I say get the hell out of Dodge as soon as you can and don’t look back! ~F Good topic. My parents found out through school that me and Tom (not real name) were messing around in the restroom. My dad lifted me up by my neck, shook me, degraded me, and threw me against the wall. My mother cried. Then they got into it and dad left home slamming the door. Other than that, it was a bowl of cherries.

Dear Momma Mona, It really saddens my heart that so many gays have had to go through such challenging times as children.

My son showed me two of the Momma Mona columns regarding coming out and I had to write in. My son is 20 now, but I knew he had different interests very early on when he was just a toddler. His father and extended family noticed, too, and tried to “toughen” him up. I was blamed for babying him too much.

I finally had a ‘come to Jesus talk’ with my husband when my son was about 8 after his dad called him a sissy for the millionth time. If he could not love and accept our son as whoever he is or will become, then we needed to divorce because I could see and feel the hurt in my little boy’s eyes. We had argued and fought about this for long enough. It was not easy for me to venture this step because it involved our daughter, too. Regardless, I started the divorce process and my husband moved out. He, as usual, blamed me and would not admit the harm he was doing to our son. Thankfully, the court required him to undergo counseling in order to gain visitation rights.

I came out via email by simply sending my dad a link to Gay Christian Network (www.gaychristian.net) with a note to check it out. He pretty much already knew, but we had not talked about it. I was 16 at the time and 19 now. Interestingly, we’ve still not talked about it.

Over the years, my son’s dad has slowly come around. He’s now very proud of his son and has even gotten involved with PFLAG, Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. This is a great organization serving a real need. www.pflag.org (770-662-6475).

What I want your readers to know is that it is the heavy negative influence of society and religion that gets into people – your parents included. I strongly believe that education and counseling can help people to see how beliefs and values are not always a positive thing and may need to be re-evaluated.

Thank you Momma Mona and David Magazine for giving a venue for education and discussion on the issues that concern the gay community. I will be following you, now!

Momma Pat

Email your questions to MommaMona@DavidAtlanta.com

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la nota rosa

by Luis Chiruco

UN CHICO NORMAL Esta es la historia de un hombre normal, de esos que pasan por tu lado y no te fijas… bueno, si te fijas pero te haces el tonto, ya sabes por eso del estatus. Pues bien a este hombre Normal lo había visto más de una vez meses atras, estaba trabajando con unos amigos míos y lo veía de vez en cuando por ahí, pero siempre lo veía con su pareja así que por eso lo ignoraba… Y un buen día lo dejé de ver….

Pero los caminos de Dios son misteriosos y el hombre Normal volvió a mi vida (es un decir porque antes no estaba en mi vida), pero sigamos… Empecé a recibir un seminario de “actualización” o algo así y ahí estaba sentadote el Normal… una primera mirada me confirmó que si era, y el hecho de que allí estuviera su “pareja” lo confirmó… no hay mas que decir, de más que no era casualidad y una rápida charla con su “pareja” me ratificó que si era el Normal que yo creía y me explicó que no era su “pareja” era sólo su mejor amigo y por eso siempre los veía juntos…

El Normal no era para nada normal, a decir, 1.85 de alto, piel morena..., cabello corto, ojos cafe oscuro, una nariz preciosa, buen cuerpo..cuerpazo el condenado, un trasero que… ¡uff! y de lo otro después les cuento… El asunto es que al Normal siempre lo había tratado con cierta distancia y a partir de este día todo cambió, comencé a cortejarlo (cortejar: echar los perros) a través del MSN, igual charlábamos en el seminario de “actualización”, intercambiamos celulares y el asunto ya estaba andando…

Resultó que al Normal yo le gustaba desde hace tiempo, pero como siempre lo trataba con cierta distancia, nunca se había atrevido a hablarme… y yo le 42 davidatlanta

gustaba mucho, muchísimo (todo esto me lo dijo con esos de caritas, si, esos de la carita escurriendo saliva, carita con los ojos con dos corazones, etc.)… Así que si yo le gustaba tanto porque decepcionarlo, e iniciamos una “relación”, y en realidad lo pensé mucho, primero: el Normal no entraba dentro del rango de edad que me gusta en los hombres, segundo: no me gustaban ciertos amigos que tenía (a decir verdad los amigos son de esos rumberos incansables y yo esas etapas ya las pasé hace bastante tiempo y sé por experiencia hacia donde conducen estas “amistades”), y tercero: después de “Luces Bajas”desconfiaba un poco de los aduladores, pero en fin, salvando estos obstáculos comenzamos a “salir”…

Lo de “salir” resultó en llamadas de 45 minutos por celular, visitas a la oficina donde yo trabajo, compartir el seminario de “actualización”, de vez en cuando salir a dar una vuelta, sexo cuando se podía, además de algunos contratos en los que trabajamos juntos… Y lo de “Normal” por que después de las charlas iniciales era lo único que me respondía (haciendo salvedades) cuando le preguntaba algo, o sea: - ¿Como estás?

- Normal.

- ¿Y la U? - Normal.

- ¿Y que hiciste ayer?

- Normal, lo de siempre.

Y así con muy pocas variaciones...

(Continuará… solo la historia)...got leche?.

LA NOTA ROSA IS NOT PRODUCED OR EDITED BY DAVID MAGAZINE.

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the brent star report

Guess who’s getting married?

“Going to the chapel and we’re…going to get MARRIED…going to the chapel of love!”--as soon as they announced that ms California ‘overturned’ Prop 8, I had ‘turnt’ two cartwheels and THAT’s the song that I started singing! I predict that one day this country will get OVER itself and ‘gone and let the gay folks get married in ALL the states. I mean REALLY girl! They would want to because can I tell you some of us will fight for our rights till the end honey, we won’t put down our signs, loose our hope, nor do we have plans of returning that tux (or wedding gown) anytime soon. No, we’re going to keep marching until we cross that finish line and WIN! Personally, I think it’s a flat waste of this country’s time to even make an issue out of it. Girl sit down, it ain’t like we’re asking permission to do meth in the middle of the damn street, it ain’t like we’re asking permission to declare war, or better yet, it ain’t like we asking YOU to even come to the damn wedding! Chile all we’re asking is for our rights to marry someone we truly love (hopefully that’s the reason…) AND at the same for us to have the same rights as a straight couple. What’s difficult about that? Oh really? It’s a religious thing?

Ohhhh, I’m glad you just explained that too me. That makes soooooo much sense because SURELY all the straight ppl are religious and ALL of them believe in God. Don’t they? They must do because ALL of them are righteous and they ALL got married in a church. Right?

Oh, and YOU Sir, you’re against it because you think it’s just wrong? Oh ok….ok…because straight ppl NEVER have marriage problems.

Oh NOOOOO! They NEVER fight each other, they NEVER divorce….NEVER divorce…and they would never do anything like capture’s America’s attention by cutting off a dick and carelessly tossing it over a bridge! Straight people? Noooooooo! Wait, I’m sorry, this is about the Gay folks getting married…but wait, it’s the str8 folks who feel the urrrrrrge to tell us we shouldn’t…again, because THEY’RE marriages are perfect. They never cheat on their spouses, they’ve never been accused of murdering their ‘pageant’ daughters and covering it up, and they would never sit in a back seat of a car after a show and fight (and getting the taste knocked out the mouth)...oh no, that would be a “disturbia”. I’m just saying.

Ok hopefully the sarcasm gets my point across and just know that by rejecting Prop 8 will 50 davidatlanta

ensure the same rights to gay couples in the event of medical emergencies, unexpected deaths…can you imagine being in a hospital situation where you weren’t allowed to go into the room to see your boo that you’ve been with for 10+ years just because…you don’t have those rights? I can see some of yall going BALLISTIC like Shirley McClain did in that movie “Terms of Endearment” when those nurses wouldn’t cooperate with her! Or do like Angela Basset did in “Waiting to Exhale”, walk up to the nurse’s station and slap them for filth for trying to keep you from seeing your man!

But seriously, same sex marriage could really change the way folks see us AND how we see ourselves. Wouldn’t it be nice not having to ‘hide’ who your boyfriend is around your family or job. Maybe this will decrease the number of men on the DL (down low) thus creating less confusions and less stress (black women should be the FIRST ones in line to vote against Prop 8)! Hopefully the next generation will “date” more and “creep” less. Sure, it’s natural for a man (gay or str8) to go through a phase where he wants to be a whore----but can you really afford that these days? I really think this will be a bigger step than you think. All I’m saying, is stay tuned because when I DO find the ‘right’ one, you better believe my wedding will be EVERYTHING! People in China will know about it! But for now, that’s my time. Until next week, don’t read the girls, instead read The Brent Star Report!

Fun Fact: Also, did you know that with some 20 million residents, the ‘macho’ and Catholic-Latin American city of Mexico City just passed a law that allows gay couples the same marriage and adoption rights as heterosexuals. And ALREADY it’s been reported that since the law was passed, more than 300 same-sex couples have tied the knot, the majority of them men! Also, Argentina this year passed a law allowing gay marriage nationwide, the first such measure in the region.

Where to catch Brent Star: Tuesdays at SHOUT, Saturdays at Tijuana Garage, Fridays at BELLISSIMA, Thursdays and Sundays once a month at Burkharts an d everywhere else that pays!

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health

HEAT ILLNESS It’s a hot summer out there.

Heatrelated illnesses are common when the temperature and humidity climb.

Be prepared and prevent getting overcome by the heat.

Being out in the heat of a Georgia summer requires some lifestyle modifications to avoid serious illness. First of all are common-sense items such as wearing light-colored, loose-fitting clothing. Dark colors trap heat and tight fitting clothing can lead to prickly heat or yeast infections.

Second, make sure that you have plenty of non-alcoholic drinks available. The amount of water lost from the body from sweating can be enormous. Water is great, but add in some sports drinks occasionally to replace lost electrolytes such as sodium and potassium. Third, be vigilant about listening to your body. Here are some signs to watch for to know that the heat is getting to you: Muscle cramps. Often due to heavy losses of sodium and potassium due to sweating.

Fainting.

Also known as heat syncope,

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this results from changes in your body as it redistributes the remaining fluids in your body to help increase heat loss though the skin.

Dizziness, weakness, nausea, headaches.

These and other vague symptoms can be a sign of heat exhaustion, don’t just blow these off. Pay attention to what your body is telling you.

Confusion or bizarre behavior. If you get to this point, you’ve crossed over into heatstroke. This needs immediate attention in the closest emergency room.

If you begin to experience any of the above symptoms, stop and rest in a shaded area with good air circulation, if possible. When these symptoms occur, they are warning signs that you are way behind on your fluid intake, so start drinking lots of fluids, including some sports drinks. Stay at rest for at least 30 minutes to allow your body to catch up. If your symptoms persist or worsen at rest, seek immediate medical attention.

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Fashionistas @ Burkhart’s Thursdays

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atlanta a-z

by David C. Muller

T

IGH E E D

O

EPIS

s i H After a disastrous date a couple of weeks ago with a Frenchman, Luke met Gregory online.

Luke and Gregory dined together at Gilbert’s Mediterranean café on Tenth Street and, in an unexpected twist; Gregory announced he was soon en route to Gulfport, Mississippi, to help with the BP oil spill clean-up. Luke thought this was admirable of Gregory. Luke thought it was hot and, in another unexpected twist, Gregory asked Luke: “You want to come with me?”

Luke gave the question one single stratum iota of thought and said, “Yes.” Gregory asked, “Have you ever tried to clean oil up off a beach before?”

But Luke’s mind was stuck on transport, “How will we get there?” Luke said, “I really don’t want to drive all the way down there.”

“We’ll fly.” Gregory said, “We can drive down the airport and fly on Air Tran.”

“Air Tran?” Luke asked, “Do they even fly to Gulfport?”

And so, a couple of drinks and a couple of days later, Luke and Gregory found themselves sitting in a taxi on the way to Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport. The taxi came early in the morning and, ten minutes down the Connector, Gregory turned to Luke to ask: “So, Luke, what do you like sexually, in bed?”

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a H r fo “It’s not even nine AM and you’re asking me about sex?”

“We may as well get the topic of discussion underway. I assume we’ll be having sex, since we’ll be cleaning the beach and all together.”

“Don’t assume anything.” Luke said, “That’s a great way to make an ass of you and me.”

“You don’t like to talk about sex?”

“Just to be clear,” Luke worried about the taxi driver; a big burly member of a local ethnic minority sitting in the front seat within earshot, “we are only talking about sex; just talking about it. We’re not actually doing it.”

“Well,” Gregory winked, “not yet, at least.”

“I like to suck dick. I like to lick it, I like to slurp it.” Luke said, “I like to get my tongue all around the mushroom head part. I like to go down on a guy.”

“Nice,” Gregory nodded, “I like to sixty-nine.”

“I like kissing.” Luke remembered the slobbering Frenchman from a few weeks ago, “I’m told I’m really good at it.”

“I like kissing, too.” Gregory asked, “Do you like to have anal sex?”

“Do I like it? Do I like it?” Luke asked the question twice for emphasis, “I love it.”

“Are you a top or a bottom?”

“Versatile. You?”

d l e fi s t r a H

unty.

t Co innet

w r in G e d , a Luke m re l , a a t p n la oa to At ent t e w v e o m Luk must time u a o Y n ," upo ld him ." o Once t r ade here lm re nd love t a p The u will fi o for y

Gregory provided his answer and smiled.

Luke smiled; he said, “We’ll get along just fine, then.”

“Do you like rimming?”

“Who doesn’t? I especially like it before I’m about to get topped. Like I always say,” Luke licked his lips, “you gotta lick it before ya’ kick it.”

Gregory nodded, “I’m the exact same way. Ya’ also gots to keep your hole clean at all times.

You never know who’s going to be down there lickin’ it and no one wants to toss a dirty salad.”

“I like to douche beforehand. I prefer a clean colon.”

“No one wants to stick their dick into a dirty rectum, that’s for sure.” Gregory imagined that would be the equivalent to humping a once white sand dune on a now oil-soaked Gulf Coast beach. “What positions do you like?”

“What positions do I not like is a better question.” Luke rattled on about various sexual positions, he said, “I like it standing up, I like it sitting down, when I’m on my back, when you’re on your back. I can bend over, do it doggie style.

I really am quite versatile but…”

“But what?”

“But I just want to be clear. We’re only talking about sex.” Luke was encumbered by the presence of the taxi driver, “I’m not looking for

random, casual sex. I’m looking for something more serious than that. I’m not looking just for sex.”

“Is that why you agreed to come with me to Mississippi?” Gregory asked, “You’re not hoping we have sex on this trip?”

“I hardly know you. I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“What are you hoping to get out of all of this?”

“I don’t know.” Luke shrugged, “What are you looking for? Why do you want to go clean up the oil spill?”

“I’m a Geology student.” Gregory said, “That’s the sort of thing we do. We help oil companies drill for oil.”

“Do you now?” Luke smirked, “You help them to drill?”

Gregory purred, he said, “I’ll drill you in a minute.”

Luke felt the taxi turn ‘round a curve as they drove under a blue sign that said ‘North Terminal.’ Luke said, “Oh look, here we are at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport…”

NEXT EPISODE: “I is for Implants”

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Regulars Re-unite @ Bellissima

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Tripps

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Backpack in the Park

Backpack in the Park

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horoscopes

by Lucy

ARIES

Your emotional is dominant lately, that couldthis mean that You need to doside whatever it takes toand slow down week — even means slamming the brakes on some you’ve gotif tothat break it down for your family or partner.

Once project means lot to should picka up they see that you this way,athey areyou. sure Things to respect you quite bit very soon, but progress this week is false. more in the future.

TAURUS

Open and how takeyou in another perspective it should be Tell theup world feel -- they need to see—that you’ve got quiteserious valuable to you!issues, It’s a even goodiftime to step up some emotional they for can’tyou really help out youryet. efforts show a friend loved one youloved are just Write to a blog post, talk to aor good friend or that sit your totally on their side. ones down.

GEMINI

Things are a little strained right now, but not so much

Your financial getting thetoday, not that you can’tsituation figure itisall out. weirder You do by need trybut a few so much that you can’t handle taketoa deep breath, experiments before you’reit. Just likely know howgettoa friend or pro to help and make sure you handle everything up proceed, so use your brain! front.

Other people are more than a little confused lately, and

CANCER

You feel as if someone following you all week -- you but not that may could mean that theyiskeep misunderstanding — even when you mayangel wanthas to in a scary way!

In try fact,toitexplain may feelyourself! as if your You guardian let it gotountil week. decided step next up their activities, so you can relax and let loose!

LEO

Don’t run off that half-cocked right now you’re — youmuch need to You have found there are days in which more absorbriled the up situation fullythere before makeones, any easily -- and then areyou dayscan likereally the recent headway.

Check andemotions double-check.

Once you when you’ve got your bottled up in the bestknow way what’s going on, your actions should stick. possible.

VIRGO

Your energy is just right for now— especially if you have You need to getwant organized -- which mayLittle seem things redundant, but big plans you to push forward! should you know it’s Make all your conspire to true helpnonetheless. you out, so yousure canthat expect topapers meet and all thoughts goals. are easy to track down when you need them the most.

LIBRA

Life messy this weekis--athough not so much that youright have Yourgets emotional state little difficult to handle to giveSee up if and runcan away! just together need to deal stressful now. you get You things longwith enough to schedules or any big disruptions in your work flow, but itIt’s all starts to bow out of big meetings or appointments. a good self-care time,next that’s for sure! get manageable week.

SCORPIO

Yourmay social energy definitely been working for you You stumble intohas fortuitous circumstances this week, so — ready it’s atogreat time to of bury the hatchet, make better new be take advantage it quickly.

Life is getting contacts or even take the first step toward a new romansteadily, and you’re sure to like the place you find yourself in tic entanglement.

Why not? next weekend.

SAGITTARIUS CAPRICORN

This isfeeling not a good time to bust out the credit or cards or to You’re sense of disconnection forget about athe long-term.

If youfrom can someone boost yoursomething that should be a big part of your life -but the odds are goodsavings that it’s this month, you are sure to appreciate your foresight in only temporary!

Make sure that you see the big picture. the far-off future.

You to deal thegood big issues in the way you know You need may feel as with if your energy hasonly been driving you how -- honestly andmoment. forthrightly.

If anyone around you to this week’s big It could be an award ortries just to a dance them off a quick word. hint ofaround praisethem, fromcut exactly thewith right person, but now you know where to start building.

AQUARIUS PISCES

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You’re going through some emotional business that isn’t exactly Thisbut is not a good foryou struggles — at to least fun, is sure to be week good for -- like going the not gymfor or you! Try tomedicine. get your Endure friendsitand colleagues to back taking your for now and things shouldyou be up, but you may just need to hunker down and wait for a better soon. more auspicious day to fight back.

Add a little romance to your life this week -- send a mash note, A stroke good luckorisjust more than it seems be — some say hi to aofnew cutie head home early totospend though that doesn’t meanIt’s you have to get totothe bottom extra time with your partner. the perfect time express of it! You can just enjoy the good energy and give your feelings through action! thanks to those who watch out for you.

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JZ’s 30th Birthday @ Jungle

JZ’s 30th Birthday @ Jungle

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bartab Monday

Club 91

Video Request NightIndustry Night 9pm

The Eagle

BJ Roosters

Felix’s

Amsterdam

Male Bar Top Dancers 8pm-1am

Blake’s

Drag on The Edge 11pm with Alexandria Martin

Burkharts

Swagg Tuesday’s

Karaoke $3.75 Well Drinks

Smirnoff Martini Night

Friends on Ponce

Enchanted Evnings With Ken & Donnie

Heretic

Daniel

Heretic

Boys Night Out Dress Code party 10pm - 3am

LeBuzz

Hump Night & New Entertainer Showcase

Mary’s

DJ Yes Sir Spins Rock 9pm

Mixx

Gay Film Festival with Paul @ 9:30pm.

Texas Hold’em Poker 7:30 - 10pm

LeBuzz

Talent Search & Karaoke

Karaoke! With The Fabulous CJ! or The Party Man Patrick! 9:30pm

The Eagle

Mary’s

Tripps

Bare Chest Night $3PBR

CJ Hosting Mary-Oke @ 10pm

Taco Night - Free Tacos 5PM

Felix’s

Mixx

Swinging Richards

Texas Hold’em Poker 7:30 - 10pm

$5 Cover! Free VIP Lounge Entry

Friends on Ponce

Model T

Woofs

Swinging Richards

Thursday

Brian May is pouring up stiff drinks & great conversation.

10pm to 3 am

Woofs

Dance Lessons @ 8-9 Ladies Night

LeBuzz

Wednesday

Karaoke Idol 10:30pm - Close

Club 91

DJ Scrilla with MC Pretty Pandora’s Box (@91 Below)

Free Pool! Industry Night Afternoons with Jasen 2pm

Frogs

$1 Tacos 6-9pm

Heretic

Man Dance Cabaret GOGO Dancers Food& Drink Specials 8pm

Mary’s

Always A Party! Wyatt, Gary & Elvis serve up their Best!

No Cover Tuesdays!

Free WII from 4:00 till close Industry Night!!

3 Legged Cowboy

Intermediate 2Step @ 8-9

Model T

Woofs House Trivia starts at 8:00pm

3 Legged Cowboy

Amsterdam Rita’s & Smirnoff Tini’s Special

Bellissima Live DJ Entertainment

BJ Roosters

Open 5pm DJ Va Jay Jay Spins

Amsterdam

Mixx

Bellissima

Model T

BJ Roosters

Male Bar Top Dancers 8pm-1am

Texas Holdem Poker @ 7p The Shawnna Factor @ 11p featuring: Alexandria Martin, Nicole Paige Brooks, Phoenix and Lena Lust

Blake’s

Burkharts

Live Pianist 9pm - 1am SIN! Service Industry Night!

Discounted Drinks!

Party with Elvis!

Woofs

Texas Hold’em 8pm

Tuesday 3 Legged Cowboy Family Poker 7:30pm

Amsterdam

Showtunes 9pm

Get L.I.T. All Day Specials

Texas Hold ‘Em Poker 7pm

Rated R @ 11pm - starring Lady Shabazz, Shawnna Brooks, Nichelle Paris, Lateasha Shante Schuntel, Lena Lust & Destiny Brooks Half Price Apps: ALL DAY

Burkharts

Karaoke Idol 10:30pm - Close w/ Shavonna B. Brooks

Club 91

Male Bar Top Dancers 8pm-1am

Blake’s

Princess Charles Fashionistas 11:30pm

Club 91

Customer Appreciation FREE ALL NIGHT (video night with DJ Rick)

The Eagle Dance Music $2.50 Schnapps

Poppin’ Spades Contest with Moe & Lah Prizes to the winners (91below: Main Event Talent Contest with Raquell Lord sign up @ 10pm show starts @ 11:30pm)

Felix’s

Twisted Trivia @ 9pm starring The Lady Shabazz

The Eagle

Heretic

Burkharts

Friends on Ponce

BJ Roosters

Male Bar Top Dancers 8pm-1am

Blake’s

Karaoke 11:30pm

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Modern Family Night $3 PBR

H.U.M.P. DAY With Jeremy, Ken &

Karaoke

Friends on Ponce HOT NIGHTS With Jasen and Donnie

Papi’s Cafe Con Leche presents “HAVANA HEAT”! NYC-Style Latin Tribal Beats & Live Bongos! 10pm

LeBuzz Ladies Night Shows

Mary’s Themed Parties Reto DJ’s

Swinging Richards 2-4-1 Night Door Entry and VIP $10 Open 6:30pm

Mixx Kareoke Remixx Show 9pm-1am

Mary’s

Open 5pm Boys Room Party Themed Party - Love DJ

Mixx

High Energy Music Videos 9pm-1am

Model T

Bagel Day! Free Bagels Noon-3pm

Tripps

BBQ Cookout 1-5pm

Woofs

Great Food, Drink & Good Times

Sunday Amsterdam

Swinging Richards

Open 6:30pm - $10 Hot Naked Men and Big Cocktails

Sunday Brunch 11:30am - 3pm Showtunes with a Twist 7pm

Tripps Bar

Bellissima

Laser Show Dance Party with DJ Steve Lynch

Live DJ Entertainment

Woofs

Male Bar Top Dancers 8pm-1am

Saturday

Blake’s

3 Legged Cowboy

Dance Lessons @ 8-9

Burkharts

Studs & Spurs Shows at 10, 11, 12, and 1

Amsterdam

Model T Robert & Michael serve up their Best!

Woofs

Meet and Greet for “Gathering Time”!

Daily Food Specials

Friday Amsterdam

High Energy Videos 9pm

Bellissima

Great Food, Drink & Good Times

3 Legged Cowboy

High Energy Videos 9pm

Bellissima

Live DJ Entertainment

BJ Roosters

Live DJ Entertainment

Male Bar Top Dancers 8pm-1am

BJ Roosters

Blake’s

Male Bar Top Dancers 8pm-1am

Jealouse’s Daring Divas 11pm

Blake’s

Mary Edith Pitts Show 11:30pm

Kitty LeClaw’s Meow Mix 11pm

Burkharts

Mary Edith Pitts Show 11:30pm

Club 91

Burkharts Club 91

RT Parties brings you Klimaxx Dance Party with Miss Sophia (go go dancers) DJ Maestro, DJ Rick, DJ Scrilla spinning on two floors all night

It’s Bingo Bitch Hosted by: Auntie Snickers

The Eagle

Chaparral

Felix’s

Got Leche?

Latino dance Party & Show with DJ Chirucco 10pm - Hot Latino Dancers and Divas

The Eagle

DJ Dance Party & Club Night

Felix’s Bartenders Ray & Cory Serve it up!

Friends on Ponce

Happy Time With Daniel and Terry

Heretic

ndulge Your “PRIMAL URGES” with DJ Rick Walsh - 10pm

Jungle

Fresh with top 40 music & Video dance party 10pm-3am

LeBuzz

Dance Party & Show

DJ Dance Party

BJ Roosters

The Armorettes @ 8pm Mary Edith Pitts Show @ 9pm

Club 91

Lions Den Legendary Sunday’s DJ Sedrick & DJ Brooks

Felix’s

Bloody Mary & Mimosa Wallet Pleasers

Eagle

Closed- See Us On Monday!

Friends on Ponce Sunday Dinner 4pm

Model T

Free Lunch Buffett with Ron @ 3:30 pm til it’s gone!

Tripps

Free buffet 3pm Karokee 7pm

Woofs

Great Food, Drink & Good Times

Karaoke with Brett & Tyler

Friends on Ponce

Open @ Noon with Bob Brewer

Heretic

Presenting the finest dance entertainment with the best local & nationally acclaimed deejays every week! Check our ad elsewhere in David for details! 10pm

LeBuzz

Saturday Night Fever Show

Mary’s

Dance Party Hot Mess 9PM Differnt DJ Every Week

Mixx

Dance Party 10pm - 3am

Model T

Free Tacos! All The Fixins! 3:30 pm to gone!

Swinging Richards Open 6:30pm - $10

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the guide SEEN Lindbergh Dr.

17th St.

ire esh Ch

16 10th St. 37,13,3

5

31

26. Oscar’s

1510 Piedmont Avenue NE At Ansley Square www.oscarsatlanta.com

Monroe Dr.

Pie dm on tA ve .

9

Spring St. W. Peachtree St. Peachtree St. Juniper St. Piedmont Ave.

10th St.

COMING SOON

6,11,21,35 15 36 1,2

14th St.

4

25 40 175 38 39 Rd. 3 14 idge 19 Br

24 27

8

28 10

Briarcliff Rd.

Northside Dr.

29

ay sw res p Ex

st ea rth o N 31 34

30

33

85

N. Highland

75

7

Amsterdam Ave. Virginia Ave.

Ponce De Leon Pl.

18

Peach tree R d.

400

12

Ponce de leon Ave.

22North Ave.

Ralph McGill Blvd.

20

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NEW 91

Boulevard Dr.

Downtown

91 Broad Street SW 404.581.0577 www.91below.com

Airport

N 20,23

1. Amsterdam 502 Amsterdam Ave. 404-892-2227 myspace.com/amsterdamatlanta

18. LeBuzz 585 Franklin Rd. (Marietta) 770-424-1337 www.thenewlebuzz.com

36. Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Rd. 404.873.2264 www.boynextdoor.biz

2. Bellissima 560-B Amsterdam Ave. 404-917-0220 myspace.com/bellissima_lounge

19. Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-873-4464 www.lasmargaritasatl.com

37. Outwrite Bookstore & Cafe 991 Piedmont Ave. 404-607-0082

3. Blake’s on the Park 227 10th St. 404-892-5786 myspace.com/blakesonthepark

20. Mary’s 1287 Glenwood Ave. 404-624-4411 www.marysatlanta.com

4. BJ Roosters 2345 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-634-5895 www.bjroostersatl.com

21. Mixx 1492 Piedmont Rd. 404-228-4372

5. Bulldogs 893 Peachtree St. 404-872-3025

22. Model-T 699 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-872-2209 www.modeltatlanta.com

6. Burkhart’s 1492-F Piedmont Rd. 404-872-4403 www.burkharts.com

23. My Sisters Room 1271 Glenwood Ave. SE 678-705-4585

7. Chaparral 2715 Buford Hwy. 678-886-3205 8. Club Europe 4001 Presidential Pkwy.

770-452-1240 www.thelionsdenatlanta.com 9. Club Opera 1150-B Crescent Ave. 404-872-1150 www.operaatlanta.com 10. Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-873-2453 www.atlantaeagle.com 11. Felix’s 1510-G Piedmont Rd. 404-249-7899 12. Friends On Ponce 736 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-817-3820 www.friendsonponce-atl.com 13. Gilbert’s 219 10th St. 404-872-8012 www.gilbertscafe.com 14. Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-325-3061 www.hereticatlanta.com 15.HOBNOB 1551 Piedmont Ave. 404-968-2288 16. Joe’s on Juniper 1049 Juniper St. 404-875-6634 www.joesatlanta.com 17. Jungle 2115 Faulkner Rd. 404-844-8800 myspace.com/ jungle_bradwilliams

38. Poster Hut 2175 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-633-7491 PRIVATE SOCIAL CLUBS 39. Eros 2219 Faulkner Rd. 404-287-4482 34. Manifest 2103 Faulkner Rd. 404-549-2815

24. New Order 1544 Piedmont Rd. 404-874-8247 25. Opus 1 1086 Alco St. 404-634-6478 26. Phaze 1 4933 Memorial Dr. 404-296-4895 27. Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr. 404-352-0532 www.swingingrichards.com 28. 3 Legged Cowboy 931 Monroe Dr. 404-876-0001 www.3leggedcowboy.net 29. Tripps 1931 Piedmont Cir. 404-724-0067 30. Woofs 2425 Piedmont Rd. 404-869-9422 www.woofsatlanta.com GYMS/SPAS/BATHS 31. FLEX 76 - 4th St. NW 404-815-0456 32. Gravity Fitness 2201 Faulkner Rd. NW 404-486-0506 33. Workout Anytime 2140 Peachtree Rd. 404-351-3264 RETAIL/BOOKS/DVDS 34. Atlanta Leather Company 2070 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-320-8989

through

35. Brushstrokes/Capulets 1510 Piedmont Ave. 404-876-6567 73 davidatlanta

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404.418.8901

www.davidatlanta.com

classifieds

classifieds www.davidatlanta.com

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www.davidatlanta.com

classifieds

classifieds www.davidatlanta.com

404.418.8901

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Fridays @ Chaparral

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local

Sizzling With Sanctuary Saturdays

By JESSE A. HANCOCK

Have you heard? Sanctuary Saturdays are back!

Produced by Luis Garcia, this Saturday night party offers a different venue for your weekend party plans.

Every week there are special guest DJs, drink specials and lots of good-looking people. You never know who will stop by.

This Saturday Aug. 14 brings special guest, DJ Charlie, who DJs primarily in Santa Monica, CA. DJ Charlie started spinning in 1998 and spins the hottest salsa beats at Club Zanzibar in Santa Monica.

In addition to great music and drink specials, Sanctuary has a fantastic drag show called “Gallery 2010” that starts around 1:00 a.m.

Come see Nicole and the rest of the cast in a high-energy show that you won’t forget.

The Sanctuary is located in Buckhead at 3209 Paces Ferry Place, near Whole Foods and has been in the nightclub business for the past 80 davidatlanta

16 yrs. In fact, it is the longest running Latin Nightclub in Atlanta.

The vision of the club is “to let every person experience various types of music and entertainment.”

The club features a grand staircase and chandelier, two levels of dancing and lounging, a large dance floor, bars on both floors, exclusive VIP seating, a state of the art lighting and sound system, and cascading sheers.

Patrons can also experience the white lounge downstairs walking into a serene white glow.

From white leather seating, tables, candles and a hint of blue.

Dress code is “trendy/ fashionable.”

Doors open at 10 p.m., and there is no cover charge before 11:00 p.m.

For more information about the club, go to www.sanctuarynightclub.com.

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Marys - Firdays

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Protect Your Monster

by Richard Marshall

87 davidatlanta

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90 davidatlanta

404.418.8901

www.davidatlanta.com

adult

adult www.davidatlanta.com

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bitch session

Stop Doing “Baby Got Back” In Karaoke. You. Don’t.

Know. The. Damn. Lyrics.

You better hope they aim high because most queens I know aim below the belt.

If this bar wanted more business, they would invest in air conditioning.

I hate bars that are so packed you can’t breathe.

Listen bitch, you need to save your rudeness until i’m done making your coffee. As it stands i’ve been giving your ass decaf every morning for years!

I’m addicted to porn and i masturbate constantly.

Down with Proposition 8! Thank the gods they are finally coming to their senses in California.

Cyndi Lauper is so good live! I wish she hadn’t spent the first half of her show singing all new songs. She sang them well, but I wanted to hear more of the oldies.

Gym bodies are wonderful, but why do they so often come with such bland personalities?

A few rolls in the hay is about all they’re good for.

Honey, you really need to knock it off with all the drama. Nobody can stand to be around you anymore.

No matter how hot everyone thinks you are, I turned you down because you shave your legs. And probably your crotch too.

94 david davidatlanta atlanta

You are so rude to people.

I think you’re just building a wall because you’re too embarrassed to take a look at your own life and realize how messed up you are.

I did not become gay for this . . .

Good Lord. I can’t believe I went to a public pool. Why doesn’t somebody just pee directly on me?

Only 4 episodes left of True Blood. Damn, just when it was getting good.

We haven’t heard from you in a while, Britney! Where are you?

Stop hating on smokers. We do not go to the restricted bars, and neither does our money and tips!

Long distance relationships are hard, but they CAN work. Give me a chance. I’m in love with you and would do anything to be with you.

Everyone expects the other person to make the first move. It’s amazing that anyone ever gets a date.

Oh, now you want some cheese? Why didn’t you say anything in the first place?

The more complicated your drink order at Starbucks, the bigger douche you are!

What a great new song from Eminem and Rihanna! The video is even more powerful.