Issuu

Issue 72 - July 2019

What’s Inside

Your favourite PRICELESS community magazine

Feat ured Ar t i cles Darlington named as international team’s base

Market to 6Darlington for 2021 Rugby League be graced with new World Cup exhibition space Darlington Comedy Festival set to bring a month full of laughs

Film Review -

42 Men in Black: International

LOCAL BUSINESSES

College careers staff win high praise for guiding students through the matrix of professions

LOCAL EVENTS COMPETITIONS

COMMUNITY NEWS WHAT’S ON Darlington’s oldest and widest-distributed community magazine

Wide Range of Metal & Plastic Fasteners

Workshop • Body Shop • Motor Factor Unit F3, Morton Park Way, Darlington, DL1 4PQ

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These days most homeowners suffer from a lack of storage space. So many precious items that need to be kept – but where to store it all? That’s where Yorkshire Loft Ladders come in. The company, based locally, offers homeowners the opportunity to maximise their storage space with a loft ladder, 50 sq ft of boarding and a light all fully fitted in less than a day from just £277 + VAT. But it’s not just the affordability of the package the company offers that makes Yorkshire Loft Ladders stand out as manager Warren Ingleson explains: ‘Our watchwords are Quality,

Integrity and Value. Quality in the materials that we use for all our installations and the fact that all our loft packages are fitted by time served tradesmen so our customers are assured of the best job. Integrity in that we will turn up at the time we say and make sure the house is spotless when we leave, and Value in that we offer our services at a price people can afford. Our business relies on referrals and we got a huge amount of our calls from people who have been referred to us by our existing customers - that simply wouldn’t happen if we didn’t adhere to our overriding principles.

lead to more happy customers is true and we work hard to make that happen for every installation we carry out!’ So, if you want to make use of your loft space, however big or

small, call Warren on 0800 612 8359 and he’ll be happy to pop round and give you a no obligation quote so you too can make use of your loft!

At the end of the day the old adage that happy customers

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6 ST PETER’S HOUSE, THORNABY TS17 9FF Call: 01642 760042

H ME EYE CARE

Welcome to the July edition of Darlington Monthly!

FREE EYE TEST in your own home.

There’s no denying it – we’re now at the height of the summer, If you are aged 60 or over and are unable to get out without help or assistance, and you withareany luck, to there be test plenty of own sun home outside entitled have will an eye in your freeat of the charge under NHS. time you’re reading this to remind you. Whatever the weather, Call: 01642 760042 Tested MraDavid BSc(Hons) though, there’sby always lot to doMorton in Darlington, as should once more be evident with a glance at our ‘What’s on’ section for the coming month, on page 46.

We also offer FREE FRAMES from a selective range!

Another option, of course, is to simply head to the cinema, and this month, our copywriter Craig Lenaghan weighs in on Men in Black: International.Turn to page 42 to discover whether the fourth time has proved a charm for the iconic franchise.

Get in touch today to book an eye test.

Our exclusive ‘A Conversation with...’ feature, meanwhile, shines the spotlight each month on a Darlington business, which in the latest issue, is Whitehouse Funeral Service (pages 34-35). We had a chat with the firm’s first lady director, Julie Whitehouse, who explained her own role at the company and the various funeral arrangements that she and her team can help with.

Call: 01642 760042

Anyway, that’s it for another issue! Last but definitely not least, please do make use of the services of our advertisers, who are the people who make Darlington Monthly possible, and let them know you learned of them through our magazine. You can advertise your own business with us, too, by first calling 01325 776 225 or emailing sales@darlingtonmonthly.co.uk, so that we can give you the lowdown on our current packages.

30 34

Have a brilliant July – and keep a lookout for our next edition in August!

Available to read online Visit darlingtonmonthly.co.uk /DarlingtonMonthly

Competitions

@DarlingtonMonthly

Disclaimer... Whilst we take every care to ensure accuracy in this magazine, we regret that we cannot accept responsibility for any incorrect information. All advertisements are accepted in good faith as to their veracity and we are not responsible for views expressed by contributors or other sources. The copying of any material within this publication is strictly forbidden without the publishers or Studio Managers consent. By providing your email address and entering our competitions you agree to receive email communications from the competition sponsor/prize provider.

Congratulations to last month’s competition winners, all winners have been notified. Winners are selected at random. The provider will only receive the winning entries inContact order to fulfil completion of the prize. Email: sales@darlingtonmonthly.co.uk Tel: 01325 776225 Advertise Darlington Monthly 4 details ofTo

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What's On At The Majestic Theatre 78-80 Bondgate,Darlington, DL3 7JT.

August 2019 Gals Aloud 3rd August - 8:00PM Adult £15.00 - Concession £13.00 The greatest girl band of the millennium, GIRLS ALOUD, are back as you’ve never seen them before as this fierce, funny and fabulous drag extravaganza GALS ALOUD hits the road on its first ever UK tour.

Sense and Sensibility 31st August - 7:30PM All tickets are £12.00 The Dashwood sisters have a very different approach to their love lives. Elinor has much more Sense, but Marianne has a great deal of Sensibility. Heroes, Heartbreak and Debonair Villains, all topped off with a dashing duel, will have you falling in love with this wonderful Austen novel and leave you wondering; are you an Elinor or a Marianne?

December 2019

Simply Westlife

Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs

17th August - 7:30PM Full Price £17.50 - Concession £15.00 Westlife are reforming and hitting the road summer 2019 with their stadium tour. Why not come and refresh your memory of all their hits with our immaculate tribute show. Relive one of the biggest boy bands of all time in a concert experience like no other with Simply Westlife.

Various dates and times between 8th - 31st December Adult £7.00 - Child £5.00 - Family Ticket (admins 4 £20.00) Follow Snow White on her journey to meeting her Prince of her dreams white eating a few obstacles on the way. So book your tickets now at a reduced rate until the 31st August 2019 to make sure you grab the last bargains of 2019!

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Darlington named as international team’s base for 2021 Rugby League World Cup

t has been confirmed that Darlington Mowden Park and Rockliffe Hall will be used as bases by an international men’s team participating in the 2021 Rugby League World Cup. This will all be happening due to a successful bid recently spearheaded by the Tees Valley Combined Authority. As the seven-week tournament unfolds, players from the team will stay at the five-star Rockliffe Hall hotel and spa. Meanwhile, Darlington Mowden Park’s arena will be used for training sessions. The specific team set to take up residence at Darlington Mowden Park and Rockliffe Hall for the tournament’s duration is not expected to be announced until December, once the results of qualifying games have become clear. However, the team’s mere presence is expected to reap economic benefits locally. It is hoped that due to the team arriving in Darlington, tens of thousands of international rugby fans could be attracted to the area, resulting in a boost of up to £8 million to the local economy. Darlington has a proud heritage in international rugby, as New Zealand’s All Blacks rugby union team used the town as a base during the 2015 Rugby Union World Cup. Lee Rust, Darlington Mowden Park’s Managing Director, enthused: “There has been an enormous amount of work going on behind the scenes over the past five years to position the Darlington Arena as a venue that can attract this kind of occasion.” Tees Valley Mayor Ben Houchen remarked: “We knew we had a fantastic bid, which was shown when we were chosen to host part of this contest in February. “The players aren’t going to be locked away behind closed doors training for the entire duration of their stay. “The Rugby League’s been clear that there will be an active programme of engagement, with the team working to promote the game in our local schools and communities, helping us to grow the sport. “They’ll be here for up to seven weeks, spending time and money in the region and boosting our profile across the world.”

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Trusted plumbing & heating engineers • Boiler installations • 10 years guarantee • Worcester Bosch platinum accredited • 0% finance • Bathroom installations • Boiler service and repair 9.89/10 • Small plumbing works

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JTA Fires and Stoves have recently opened a brand new showroom in Darlington. Owner Stephen Airey and showroom manager Neil Fawcett have over 30 yearsâ€™ experience between them in the heating and fireplace industry. The showroom boasts an array of traditional and contemporary woodburning and multi fuel stoves from leading manufacturers. From bespoke inglenook designs to modern freestanding versions, JTA Fires and Stoves will endeavour to make your dream a reality. We have a fully qualified installation team that cover HETAS approval for solid fuel applications, Gas Safe for gas fires and central heating systems, and also OFTEC for oil boiler installations. JTA Fires and Stoves also supply and install inset hole in the wall gas and solid fuel appliances for a minimalist look. Alternatively, we can cater for those wanting a traditional focal point fireplace in either solid wood, marble or stone. Many of these fireplace designs can be tailor made to your own specifications. We offer a free site survey with absolutely no obligation to purchase. We pride ourselves on our vast knowledge and experience, and welcome you to call in to see what we have on offer - you wonâ€™t be disappointed. Our showroom at 9 Duke Street, Darlington is open Monday to Saturday 9.30am-5.00pm. Sunday opening is by appointment only. If you would like to arrange a free site survey either call into the showroom, or get in touch on 01325 389238 or email jtafiresandstoves@ icloud.com. A warm welcome awaits at JTA Fires and Stoves.

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A warm welcome awaits you... Suppliers of all Leading Brands of Stoves, Fires and Fireplaces

We have on display a range of traditional and contemporary wood and multi fuel stoves. Free no obligation estimate. Fully qualified Hetas, Gas Safe and Oftec engineers. Full Fitting service available. Highly experienced sales people that will tailor your every need.

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PUZZLE PAGE Simply complete one of the competitions below, fill in the entry form and send to the postal address provided.

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Popular Hurworth gastropub The Bay Horse shortlisted for award

f you’ve sampled the food at The Bay Horse, the highly esteemed gastropub in Hurworth, you probably won’t be surprised to learn that the establishment has beaten almost 5,000 pubs to be shortlisted in the Best Food Offer category at the Ei Group Awards for Excellence. The news has been hailed by the pub’s owners, friends Marcus Bennett and Jonathan Hall, who triumphed in this category at the regional level in May. The Bay Horse will be competing against two other finalists in the national run. The awards are run by the Ei Group, the UK’s largest portfolio manager of pubs. More than 5,000 pubs are under the organisation’s wing, and the awards aim to credit some of the most innovative and successful publicans working under Ei Group, formerly known as Enterprise Inns. Mr Bennett said that his team were “delighted to be shortlisted for this award”, adding that Ei Group is “a massive organisation, so this nomination is a great acknowledgement to the team of all the hard work they put in over the years.”

The Bay Horse will now join the other two finalists at a gala awards ceremony to be held at the Old Thorns in Liphook, Hampshire on 2nd July, when the national winner will be crowned. Mr Bennett and Mr Hall have jointly owned The Bay Horse for more than a decade, and have already picked up various accolades, including the Michelin Bib Gourmand and Gastropub Chef of the Year. The Times has featured the pub in a list of top 50 gastropubs, while The Bay Horse’s food has also been included in The Mail on Sunday’s top 50 Sunday Lunches in the UK. The pub is also regularly listed in dining bibles like the Good Food Guide and the Michelin Guide. The pub’s menus mainly list classic dishes with a twist of modernity, but the kitchen continues to experiment with fresh flavours and cooking methods. The food options also span various price points, making The Bay Horse well-suited for both special occasions and spontaneous nights out.

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Yarm Road resurfaced as part of major highways project

he next time you drive on or walk along Darlington’s Yarm Road, it might look a little different to how you remember. That’s because the road has recently been resurfaced to help facilitate a wider scheme aimed at revamping and improving highways in the County Durham town. In early May, Darlington Borough Council announced that the resurfacing work would be carried out in three phases overnight to keep disruption to a minimum. Other lined-up improvements unveiled by the council have included expanding the capacity of McMullen Road roundabout. Various improvements have been pledged for the east of Darlington to help accommodate the town’s economic growth resulting from expansion at Cummins as well as EE creating additional jobs at its Darlington base. Another local producer of jobs is Symmetry Park, which is set to open later this summer. The extension of McMullen Road roundabout’s capacity was intended to further open up access to the town’s latest industrial site development, Ingenium Parc. As a result of submitting a bid to the Department of Transport in 2017, Darlington Borough Council has

secured over £3.3 million from the National Productivity Investment Fund (NPIF) for these projects. Other projects included in the announced programme included the additions of a signalised junction at Lingfield Way/Yarm Road and a cycle route along Lingfield Way. The council had also lined up the Haughton Road thoroughfare for changes. The resurfacing project’s first phase began on Friday 10th May at Yarm Road, McMullen Road roundabout and Salters Lane. The second phase commenced on Thursday 16th May with the resurfacing of McMullen Road, between the junction with Malim Road and McMullen Road roundabout, and Yarm Road Retail Park’s access/egress. Salters Lane, however, remained accessible during the work. The third phase got underway on McMullen Road between Malim Road and Lingfield Green, in the week starting Monday 20th May. Roads were closed during the resurfacing work between 7pm and 5:30am, with drivers instructed by signed diversions. However, the resurfacing was finished by Friday 24th May.

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DARLINGTON COMEDY FESTIVAL SET TO BRING A MONTH

FULL OF LAUGHS ts TV comic, Alun Cochrane who also presen r a show on Absolute Radio with Frank Skinne ner, headli r popula a be to set is nd each weeke h when ‘Brave New Alun’ lands at The Old Englis Gentleman on July 10th. Hilarity Bites, who run comedy events in the North East and Yorkshire are behind the highly regarded festival. And Festival Organiser, Neil Jollie said; ‘Every year I think the festival can’t get any better, but I think we’ve surpassed ourselves this year with an immense line-up featuring some of the most popular and best reviewed acts of recent times, and several people who will be familiar to those who get their regular dose of comedy from TV, radio, and online. With most shows costing only £5, there’s no better time to come and discover live comedy.’ 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown dictionary corner favourite, Tom Binns will be bringing his ‘Psychic Comedium’ show to the festival and influential parenting blogger, Sam Avery aka ‘The Learner Parent’ will be performing live on the final night of the festival.

Launched in 2011, the Darlington Comedy a Festival is set to make its return for 2019 with s month-long line-up featuring popular TV comic and Edinburgh Fringe Festival favourites. The festival kick-starts on July 1st with Rob Deering, who will bring his one-man soundscape show to Darlington, along with his interactive quiz show Beat This. Audiences can catch a stand-up show almost every day until July 31st, including the Hilarity Bites New Act of the Year grand final which will take place at Hole in the Wall on July 15th.

Comedian and presenter, Matt Forde will also be making an appearance at the festival. In 2013, he launched ‘The Political Party’ show where guests el have included the likes of Tony Blair & Micha Portillo, catapulting him to his position as the UK’s foremost political comedian. It is hoped that the festival will encourage audiences to go and see new up-and-coming acts on the comedy circuit to, such as the multi-award winning sketch group ‘Gein’s Family Giftshop’ and Rachel Fairburn who has toured the world as cohost of the ‘All Killa, No Filla’ podcast. Tickets for all shows are on sale now and the full line-up can be viewed at: www.darlingtoncomedyfestival.co.uk

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Whitehouse Funeral Service are here to help you at what is a very difficult time. Our Funeral Directors have a wealth of experience in arranging funerals and dealing with families compassionately.

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Simply Rogue – Barber Shop in Darlington Simply Rogue Ltd was established in Darlington at the end of 2018. We are based on the second floor of 20 Duke Street in a little hideway which gives our customers a great experience as there is no real shop front; just a banner. We might be hid away but we are a very modern barbershop with a traditional feel. We like to set a great atmosphere to all our customers and our décor has a great background too as Ross, the owner of Simply Rogue, has brought his experience and ideas back to the UK as he used to work in barber shops all over the world; including the amazing Australia and Dubai. Our clients return on a regular basis and we feel that this is because of the great service we provide as we offer a range of complimentary drinks which include local sourced coffee, bottles of lager and a good range

of soft drinks too. We know our customers want to look their best when they leave the barbershop so we always offer a complimentary hair wash with every service. We do also offer a range of facial services which include lavender infused hot towel shaves and charcoal face masks. Simply Rogue are aiming and have done so far, to provide an atmosphere for gentlemen of all ages where they feel that they can escape to and relax from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Everyone likes things done simple and easy so we have started to use a booking app called ‘Booksy’ which is a really easy way to book

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MORTON OPTICIANS established in 1937 by John Durkin Morton , the first practice was in Thornaby, Stockton on Tees . The second practise was opened in 1953 in Norton Stockton on Tees . Both practises were taken over by Mr Durkin-Morton’s son Terence Morton in 1976 and since 2002 Terence Morton ’s son David Morton current owner , third generation ,continues to care for the businesses. David Morton graduated in Bradford University 1996 and took his initial training at the Sunderland Eye Infirmary dealing with low vision , children's eyecare, and hospital contact lens fitting. David also worked in London at David Clulow practise for three years before

settling down in Darlington and taking over the family business in Stockton on Tees. Morton Opticians is a very family orientated opticians with a focus on high quality service. David ’s grandfather was one of the first opticians to offer home visits to the local community which David has carried on, offering house visit for patients who have difficulty in travelling. The great news is that service is expanded to Darlington area as well . David Morton and his team extend a warm welcome to both existing and new customers , keen to supply the very best options for everybody.

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A Conversation with...

Juile Whitehouse Julie Whitehouse is the first lady director of Whitehouse Funeral Service and runs the business with her partner, John. They have branches in both Darlington and Newton Aycliffe. She is very much involved in the day to day running of the company but deals with so many other aspects as well. Here we asked Julie about the background of the business and all the different funeral arrangements that she can help with. How would you describe your role at Whitehouse Funeral Service? Whitehouse Funeral Service is an independent family owned and run funeral directors, with branches in Darlington and Newton Aycliffe. I am the first lady funeral director at Whitehouse and work alongside 4 other well respected and experienced funeral directors. Being a family run business, I also find myself involved in the day to day running of the company along with my husband John, and parents Mel and Dorothy. When not conducting funerals, I deal with many other aspects of our business such as pre-paid funeral plans, HR requirements, and of course our community work, which I thoroughly enjoy. How would you describe the company’s approach to funeral services? We aim to offer a modern forward-thinking funeral service. We believe that families should have all of the choices available to plan a funeral exactly as they would like to. This can be from the simplest of arrangements to the more bespoke. We take pride in the service that families and their loved ones receive, offering care and consideration at what is a very difficult time. Ever increasingly we see families in need of help regarding funeral finances – and we are also here to help and offer guidance and support. Why should someone consider a pre-paid funeral plan, and why should they make such advance funeral arrangements with Whitehouse Funeral Service? There comes a stage in all our lives when it’s natural to think about when we won’t be here. We wonder about loved ones and what to leave them. There are some things, however, that we wouldn’t wish to leave them. These include the burden of high funeral costs and the worry of deciding on the funeral arrangements. A funeral plan would not only address the financial issues and guarantee the funeral directors’ costs at today’s prices, it would also provide an opportunity to talk about and record your wishes. From my own personal experiences, I know that having these plans in place will certainly ease the worry and stress a family may experience at such a difficult time. What are the most rewarding aspects of running a business like this? For me personally it’s knowing that I have made a difference to a family at a time when they need help, support and guidance the most. We consider it a privilege to look after funeral arrangements for our families and take great care, consideration and pride in all we do. I am also passionate about the community work that we do. Whitehouse doesn’t want to just be there for those difficult days, we want to engage with our local community in order to be a familiar face that you will feel comfort in turning to at your time of need. We were recently delighted to be nominated and a finalist for the “Best of Darlington” award – I am so blessed to have such rewarding experiences in my life.

What have been your most special and important memories during your time running the business to date? I hold lots of special memories and personal experiences close to heart, too many to mention. However, there was a moment early in my funeral days that I will never forget. 15 years ago, my husband John opened the doors of Whitehouse Funeral Service to the public, not knowing in those early days how things would turn out. The business went from those unsure days to probably one of the largest funeral directors Darlington had seen. My memory is of John being in total awe at the enormity of the funeral for the late “Jungle”. I will never forget that look of pride on John’s face. Is there a ‘typical’ client who tends to turn to Whitehouse Funeral Service? To be perfectly honest, no there isn’t. We are there to help anyone in need of our help. Families may come to us to arrange funerals or to discuss funeral planning. We do build relationships with our families over the

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years, so we often find that we may deal with several funerals for a particular family. Whitehouse Funeral Service is family-run; what difference do you believe this makes, in terms of your experience running the business as well as the experience of the client? Running a family business gives us an enormous sense of pride in what we do. We look after every family, the way that we would want to be looked after ourselves. From the very first call you will be looked after by one of our dedicated funeral directors, who will arrange, plan and carry out the funeral service. We believe that a family run business can offer a more personal touch, putting the needs of our families first and foremost. We have the flexibility to make our own decisions, meaning we can take all of your choices and requests into consideration. We are proud to be a member of SAIF – The National Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors, who are there to support and guide family run funeral businesses like ours. What transport options can you provide? We are proud to operate a fleet of Silver Mercedes Cars, which is comprised of a Hearse and Limousines. We also have available a white VW Camper Van Hearse which we hire to other funeral directors across the country. Alongside our fleet we have the ability to hire in various types of vehicles such as Horse Drawn Hearse, Motor Cycle Hearse – in fact any type of vehicle the family requests.

What other services can you provide for those wishing to tailor their or a loved one’s funeral to their most specific preferences and requirements? We will always do our utmost to fulfil the wishes of the family. The choices available are immense. We can arrange everything from service sheets, memorial books, floral tributes and catering to the more unusual such as doves, funeral videographers and woodland burials. Is there anything about the business’s services that you think prospective clients would be especially surprised by? Lots of people are pleasantly surprised how homely, relaxed and friendly our premises are, and actually how dedicated we are to our business. Being a funeral director is certainly not a 9-5 profession, but for me it is the most rewarding role I have ever undertaken. How do you see Whitehouse Funeral Service evolving in the months and years ahead? I am sure Whitehouse Funeral Service will continue putting the needs of our families first, just as we have done for the past 15 years. Year on year more families turn to us to care for their loved ones. We intend to continually move with the times to ensure that we can offer our families up to date choices and ideas to create a fitting tribute to their loved ones.

To find out more about Whitehouse Funeral Service visit our website: www.whitehousefuneralservice.co.uk get in touch on either: Cockerton House 11 West Auckland Road, Darlington, DL3 9EJ 01325 482999

Surtees House Hilton Road, Newton Aycliffe, DL5 6EN 01325 318600

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COLLEGE CAREERS STAFF WIN HIGH PRAISE FOR GUIDING STUDENTS THROUGH THE MATRIX OF PROFESSIONS

Darlington College’s guidance team, L-R, student services manager Julie Davison data and destination specialist Jan Needham, advisors Andrew Brown and Rebecca Sunley

CAREERS staff have won high praise nationally for inspiring college students to choose a successful path to work. Darlington College’s careers and guidance team has again be awarded the coveted Matrix Accreditation, a national quality standard for careers guidance. The team, comprising Andrew Brown and Rebecca Sunley, supported by data and destination specialist Jan Needham and student services manager Julie Davison, deliver hundreds of one-to-one and group sessions for students every year. Since September 264 individuals have benefited from one-to-one hour-long sessions and 520 students have been seen in groups. Advice and guidance ranges from higher education to job searching, CV and personal statement writing to UCAS forms. Learners are also taken on university trips and take part in HE events at the college. Apprenticeship days feature workshops delivered by an external expert who helps students explore fully the apprenticeship route.

Assessors talked to staff, students and external partners during a three-day inspection of the guidance service, which occurs every three years. Mrs Davison said: “Our team of Level 7 qualified advisors literally spends hours with students offering impartial and expert advice. I am very proud of the work they do on a daily basis and am absolutely delighted that this has been recognised nationally. “The assessor described the team as ‘inspirational’ and said they were successful in delivering advice that helped give students aspirations and life readiness. They are passionate about what they do, offering non-judgemental advice that helps students make their own, informed decisions. “The team was also praised for being so accessible and our students spoke very highly of them saying that they actually helped reduce the levels of stress and anxiety people can face. They are really good with students and we have some ideas to improve the service even further.” For more information on opportunities at Darlington College visit www.darlington.ac.uk.

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FILM REVIEW:

Men Men In In Black: Black: International International Fourth instalments don’t usually fare well in Hollywood, even if the recently released Toy Story 4 has admirably bucked that particular trend. Three films, it seems, allows for a nice, round character arc – and, judging from the absences of Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones in Men in Black: International, its makers apparently agreed. Strangely, though, they didn’t agree enough to decide against making a fourth Men in Black film at all – which, frankly, probably would have been the better option. Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson have slipped into the black suits for the starring roles (as Agent H and Agent M respectively) this time round. However, despite acquitting themselves well in glamorous settings including London, Naples and Marrakesh, their efforts are ill-served by a laden script. You’ll probably want to snore through the exposition-heavy dialogue, so let’s just simplify it by saying that the MIB find evidence of a mole in the organisation but struggle to suss out who it is. The core problem with Men in Black: International is its liberal borrowing from other films, leaving it with depressingly little distinct personality of its own. Even the alien aspect feels played-down; replace many of the extraterrestrial characters here with humans, and the script wouldn’t need hugely readjusting. The whole thing feels like the cinematic equivalent of “original”-flavour crisps: there’s nothing technically wrong with it, it’s just very bland.

Elsewhere, Emma Thompson makes a welcome return to her role as Agent O from the third film, even if her presence might often remind audiences how much better that film was; its heartwarming ending, in particular, was the kind of classy touch sorely lacking in Men in Black: International. Rafe Spall’s Agent C, meanwhile, spars with Hemsworth’s character well, acting as something of a workplace rival to him.

This is also the first Men in Black film not directed by Barry Sonnenfeld, as F. Gary Gray has taken over the reins. Unsurprisingly with Fast & Furious 8 on his CV, he’s solid – if largely uninspiring – with the action scenes here, including a frenetic cycle chase through Marrakesh.

Unfortunately, though, the repeated borrowing of plot elements reaches ridiculous levels at times, right down to the“Chekhov’s gun” that you’ll probably identify well ahead of time (it literally turns out to be a gun). It’s really not until the visually spectacular, actionpacked finale that we start seeing the kind of unpredictable plotting capable of justifying a sans-Smith Men in Black film – but, by that time, it feels like a case of too little, too late. It’s less the Men in Black, more the Men (and Women) in Bland.

Along the way, pint-sized alien “Pawny”, chirpily-voiced by Kumail Nanjiani and serving as a very loyal “pawn” to his adopted “queen”, Agent M, recaptures some of the series’ trademark humour. However, when his funniest moment is grimacing “Is this The Notebook 2?” in response to overhearing a tenderly romantic conversation, you know you haven’t exactly got a comedy classic on your hands.

DM Rating: Craig Lenaghan - Copywriter

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Wallnut Home Improvements

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Put the sparkle back into your oven with a call to your local Ovenclean specialist! · Single & Double Ovens · Agas & Ranges · Grills, Hobs & Extractors · Microwaves · BBQs No mess or bother - just a perfect ‘I can’t believe it’s not a new oven’ result, everytime!

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Fully Insured Professional Ironing & Laundry Service

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What’s on

July

Darlington Football Club

06 July – 14:00 Darlington vs. Motherwell FC Home games are played at Blackwell Meadows, Grange Road, Darlington DL1 5NR For tickets visit: darlingtonfc.co.uk

Darlington Farmers Market

07 July – 10:00 – Darlington Town Centre Speciality foods and local produce will be on show at the Darlington Farmers Market.

Darlington Dance Festival Showcase Event

07 July – 13:30 & 18:00 – Darlington Hippodrome Darlington Dance Festival brings together dance schools, community groups and schools from across Darlington, in a dance extravaganza, showcasing a variety of dance styles performed by Darlington’s very own talented dancers.

Tom Stade & Daisy Earl

09 July – 20:00 – Theatre Hullabaloo Two one hour work in progress shows from top comedians heading to the Edinburgh Festival.

History Wardrobe – What Were We Thinking?! The 1970s Show

10 July – 18:30 – Crown Street Library The two Lucys take on the 1970s in this groovy new celebration of history’s most orange-and-brown decade, with Bri-Nylon, Biba, bra-less Women’s Libbers… disco sparkle, psychedelia, Punk, ponchos, hot pants and platforms!

Film Character Trail

14 July – 13:30 – South Park A film character trail through South Park followed by a music & movement session.

Darlington Hippodrome Heritage Tour

18 July – 10:30 – Darlington Hippdrome Tours of Darlington Hippodrome provide you with the chance to explore the building and learn about its heritage and history.

First Man Festival

19 – 21 July – Girsby and Over Dinsdale Village Hall Join the team from Go Stargazing for this family friendly weekend festival celebrating the 50th anniversary of the first Apollo moon landing… On July 20th, 1969, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin first stepped on the surface of the moon marking perhaps mankind’s greatest achievement thus far and sparking the hopes, dreams and imagination of an entire planet!

Rhythm of the Dance

23 July – 19:30 – Darlington Hippodrome This dance and music extravaganza contains a wealth of Irish talent, an exciting 2-hour trip through hundreds of years of Irish dance and music, 22 award-winning World & Irish dance champions with 25 dazzling costume changes.

Friendsical

24 – 27 July – 19:30 – Darlington Hippdrome Friendsical is an original and unique new parody musical inspired by the gang in Friends, the iconic TV show. When Ross’s wife leaves him for another woman, he fears he will never find love again. But then Rachael runs back into his life…will he end up with his one true love? With original new songs such as ‘(He’s her) Lobster!’,‘Richard’s Moustache’ and ‘You’re Over Me,When Were You Under Me?’, the gang take on naked Thursdays, a power cut, and a dinosaur convention! What could possibly go wrong? This is a loving parody not to be confused with the Warner Bros Entertainment Inc. series Friends.

Murder Mystery Night

27 July – 15:00 – The Croft Hotel A three course meal and murder mystery entertainment. Price: £32 per person

Michael Griffiths: Songs by Kylie

30 July – 19:30 – Darlington Hippodrome Award-winning performer Michael Griffiths explores the songs and stories of Australia’s very own pop princess, Kylie Minogue. Put your hand on your heart and step back in time, Kylie wouldn’t change a thing!

Got an event coming up? Let us know and we’ll help spread the news. Email details of your event to: sales@darlingtonmonthly.co.uk

To Advertise Contact Darlington Monthly Email: sales@darlingtonmonthly.co.uk Tel: 01325 776225

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The

SLIDING WARDROBE Collection by

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Is your roof holding up well this summer? Here’s why you should check Ah, the great British summer – the perfect time to sunbathe in the garden, enjoy a riveting book in the shade of your patio awning, and... check your roof, as it happens. You see, it’s precisely because you may be so busy doing all of the above during the sunnier and warmer months, that you might overlook the importance of making sure your roof is still in good shape. After all, if you do encounter any issues, the summer is often the best time to get them dealt with. Yes, it may be hot right now, but it is this – followed by the cooler nights – that can be to blame for excess moisture building up in a poorly ventilated loft, which could cause your rafters to rot. Moss growth can also be a problem for some roofs during the summer, while the heightened ultraviolet (UV) radiation that your roof absorbs at this time of year could bring the risk of roof shingles sustaining sun damage as they dry out, maybe even leading them to crack and fall off.

Oh, and it’s not as if wind and rain suddenly cease to exist in the summer, either. Our weather here in the UK can be notoriously unpredictable, and it’s these swift changes that could also further loosen any already-unsecure tiles. So why wait until winter, when it’s much tougher to effectively check your roof, to ensure your home is protected from the weather? Would you like the peace of mind of knowing that your roof has been thoroughly checked this summer? If so, Findley Roofing & Building can do this for you completely free of charge. Simply call us now on 0191 417 3422, or visit our website at www.findleyroofing.co.uk for more details. Finally, if you see any of our distinctive Findley vehicles while out and about in the North East, why not take a snap and send it across to us via a private message for the chance to WIN our #FindFindley game? We complete all manner of fascinating projects around the region every week, so you may not have to look very far to spot us!

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Darlington Monthly July 19