Darling Magazine Wimbledon - Autumn 2019

darling AUTUMN 19 PRICELESS

Changing It Up! MENTAL HEALTH DOSSIER Local Experts

NEW LOOK NEW BIZ NEW YOU

MARIA JESSIMAN Challenge Yourself CULTURE SEASON

Beauty File Women back in business New schools LGBTQ+ Issue

Where to go What to eat What to see

living in WIMBLEDON

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darlingmagazine.co.uk

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editor’s letter WHISTLES Black

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Dear Darling Reader, Change is in the air! Never mind Westminster South West London is where it’s all happening.

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SENTI home of fragrance, The Orchid; beautifully hand-crafted fragrance for your home, £150

Fab new venues and restaurants are popping up from Parkside to The Broadway. With the kids back at school, MATCHES FASHION we can let our hair down – pampering, partying and Completedworks praying for an Indian Summer. Perhaps appropriately the fashion mood Bend In The Rive spiralled gold-vermei for autumn is “dark romance”. The International Wimbledon Music Festival, ear cuff, £245 the Merton Arts Festival and our famous Bookfest promise a feast of fiction, fantasy and fortissimo.

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Cover Girls Maria and Lucy Jessiman Photography Jan Masny Creative Planets

Publisher Darling Magazine UK Karine Torr Editor Karine Torr 020 8739 0059 Advertising 07930 396356 Email info@darlingmagazine.co.uk Contributors Roz Hanna Kate Greenhalgh Paul Mendelson Photography Taylor Torr 07414 865272 Darling North Surrey Karine Torr 020 8739 0059 Darling Kingston & Richmond Marja-Leena Toseland 07802 949836 Design Director Hermina Williams design@herminawilliams.com Website Design nicewaymedia.com Printer Direct Colour mark@directcolour.com Distribution info@3colours.co.uk Whilst every care has been taken to ensure that the data in this publication is accurate, neither the publisher nor its editorial contributors can accept, and hereby disclaim, any liability to any party to loss or damage caused by errors or omissions resulting from negligence, accident or any other cause.

Darling Magazine does not officially endorse any advertising material included within this publication. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form – electronic, recording or otherwise, without prior permission from the publisher.

Rae Vintage Bloom

Look out for our schools guide, our Beauty File and the local Who’s Who Dress, £220 in our social pages. Read about our Merton Award’s favourite inspiring mother-daughter business, Lu-Ma, as well as Really Helpful Club’s October event, getting women back in business. For those more energeticFRIARWOOD types 2017 des Masques, there’s lots of sports and exercise opportunities to try out. From aDomaine newCuvee Rouge Essentielle, £18 Battle Box at David Lloyd, to getting our kids trained up with Olympic star Daley Thompson or a more chilled pace with Annette’s yoga.

PS: Lots of excitement at Darling HQ! We’re exploring new avenues to COSMETIC FACIAL ACUPUNCTURE, the botox-free take Darling advertisers and the Darling community to new heights. facelift and rejuvenator Keep an eye on darlingmagazine.co.uk for all the news.

Karine Torr Editor | info@darlingmagazine.co.uk

ladywimbledon.com @ladywimbledon

CONTENTS 5 Autumn’s Inspiring Woman, Maria Jessiman 9 Sumptuous autumn romance with Hel & Mel 11 Dog & Fox’s beautiful transformation 13 Great posh-nosh at 601 15 Kababji rocks the Broadway 16 Our best schools guide for the new year 18 Shamim Sarif on teaching LGBTQ+ inclusion 21 Daley Thompson getting kids on track 23 Dogs on the Common 25 Back to Business with Really Helpful Club 26 Our Adrian hits the West End! 27 The best of Bookfest 28 Love Local businesses 29 Julie Derbyshire & the art of scam 31 Get your smile back with Dental Rooms 32 Best Beauty in Wimbledon – our hot favs 37 Autumn hair tips 39 Mental Health Dossier with our experts 44 Talking maternity leave with Clare Chappell 47 Carole’s Cook’s Corner autumn treats 49 Bridge with guru Paul Mendelson 51 On the Scene with Editor Karine Torr 55 Lady Wimbledon’s ‘What’s Hot’ 56 What’s On diary for autumn 56 David Lloyd’s new Battle Box 57 Yoga for sports fans with Annette 57 Amanda Hobson Jones remembers her Becs 58 Kate’s wedding fever continues…

darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

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MADE IN GERMANY TO MEET YOUR DESIGN NEEDS Built in Kitchen Specialist

Kitchen Revolutions Ltd 580 Kingston Road, Wimbledon SW20 8DR T 020 3302 6266 E info@kitchenrevolutions.co.uk W www.kitchenrevolutions.co.uk WE ARE OPEN Mon - Sat 10am - 6pm | Sun 11am - 4pm

inspiring woman

All in the family

Team Lu-Ma

Darling Editor chats to the dynamic and gorgeous Maria Jessiman on the joys of a family business

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orking with families can sometimes have its challenges but for mother Maria and daughter Lucy, they found a great strength in bouncing off each other and growing in their passion for food and good health.

Ten years ago, Maria and Lucy decided to attend a 14-day residential macrobiotic cookery course in Scotland, not only was the time about food but also about a mother and daughter having and sharing a passion for better health. At the time Lucy had skincare issues and Maria needed to understand more about acid and alkaline diets. She had begun to suffer painful knee joints and after consultations and diagnosis of arthritic knees, wanted a deeper understanding of how diet could help rather than the surgical option that was being offered.

Inspired by the changes in their diets, Lucy and Maria explored the thought of opening a wholefood cafe within the Justin James Hotel, which Maria has been running for years. Lu-Ma was born in 2013, a whole food café which offered food that was deliciously nutritious, without the use of dairy, meats and refined sugars.

After lots of researching they offered a menu

that is all gluten free and mainly vegan with a couple of add on options (salmon and egg). A great team, the two would bounce ideas, Lucy being a creative foodie and Maria working the logistics, an amazing mother and daughter team that really respect each other in their areas of strength, but are also able to talk about things they struggle with, differences of opinions sometimes not so smooth going.

Lu-Ma has been voted ‘Merton’s Best Restaurant’ for two years running at the Merton Best Business Awards, and we continue to have our meetings along with the team, discussing ways to move forward, expansion ideas, marketing and all the dimensions of business growth.

Maria’s husband Gordon, with whom she has been for 38 years, and has had three grown-up children and three beautiful grandchildren with, is a passionate advocate of the café - wherever he goes Lu-Ma will be a discussion point. He too is very supportive and respectful of the teamwork and decisions made and will contribute with thoughts and decisions. Sometimes of course there are challenges, differences of opinions but there is also a value in each person being ‘seen and heard’.

darlingmagazine.co.uk |autumn 19

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The hotel and café are interwoven with another family business, a nursery school which has now been established for 55 years and has three generations of family members working in it, everyone contributing in their specialized roles.

Again, challenges often present themselves, differences of opinions happen but the integrity of the business is always a priority.

L-R: Friend, Maria’s sister-in-law Eveline Drut, Son Sean Jessiman, Maria’s mother-in-law, Maria Keaveney Jessiman, Gordon and Maria, the Lu-Ma team with Aimee Jessiman in the middle.

Gordon and Maria are very actively involved in personal development work, holding meditation groups, weekend workshops, supporting six day residential retreats in Scotland (penninghame. org). All of the family have attended the retreat and firmly believe it has given deeper understanding of their individual journey, understanding their own feelings, projections, egos etc. Of course, this doesn’t mean that they have all the answers, but it certainly helps when trying to understand their own internal personal journey and their external relationships.

Overall, as a family concern we have been able to address our differences, express our concerns and own our own issues (but not necessarily straight away!). We feel this is what makes it possible to work positively with family and siblings.

Maria continues to successfully manage both the hotel and the café with an amazing team of staff, some members working with her for over 10 years. Staff motivation and wellbeing is an important aspect of the company’s ethos, all staff are offered mental health wellbeing workshops, reviews and appraisal, giving them the space to share areas of concerns, room for improvements and general company and individual contributions. Maria feels that it is important that every team member is seen, heard and valued, the workplace needs to be an enjoyable, productive environment for everyone. n lu-ma.co.uk

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Embrace this autumn’s dark romantic trends with Hel & Mel’s fairytale styling Jumper Amby £305 ba&sh

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Hel & Mel Surrey Style Bloggers Instagram: @helandmel | Twitter: hel_and_mel | Facebook: Hel and Mel

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New Tricks for a

Venerable Old Dog The Dog & Fox has a few up its sleeve

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he Dog & Fox Hotel has been a hive of activity the last several months and not just due to the summer sunshine but a flurry of construction. Now we, the Dog & Fox Hotel team, can finally announce the proud addition to our venue, the Coach House.

The Coach House is sure to be a place of true celebration

The Coach House, as you’ll know from strolling or driving past, will stand proudly next to the Dog & Fox hotel in the heart of Wimbledon Village.

We’ve designed a space that aims to welcome you as warmly as our pub has for years.

An extension of our hotel, enveloped by a garden terrace, the Coach House is sure to be a place of true celebration.

A perfect place to begin your married life, whether it’s a small intimate wedding or a grand affair we can accommodate 120 people for a sit-down meal and 250 guests, for an all-out celebration into the night with a late bar extension available until 2am.

Our space is neutral and intentionally so, we want you to make it your own - deck it out with flowers, a photo booth and DJ and have a true British Pub Wedding or leave the space as is for a classic celebration.

An all year-round venue, we explode with energy during the Tennis Championships in July and invite the welcome glow of tall Christmas trees and lights in December. The Dog & Fox provides a beautiful setting for all seasons with Wimbledon Common on our doorstep for stunning photos, British seasonal menus and an extensive wine list to keep our guests suitably fed and watered.

Not only expanding the space for functions, we are also adding 11 new hotel rooms and suites bringing us up to 28 uniquely decorated bedrooms above the venue, including a beautiful bridal suite with private terrace and three new suites named after British Tennis Champions Murray, Barker and Perry.

Keep up with our renovations, news of open evenings and some sneak peeks of the space on our website and social media channel. n For more info on The Coach House go to

dogandfoxwimbledon.co.uk coachhouse@youngs.co.uk 24 High Street, Wimbledon Village, SW19 5EA 020 8946 6565

darlingmagazine.co.uk |autumn 19 11

601 Queen’s Rd

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The perfect backdrop for socialising in the heart of Wimbledon

From morning coffee to evening nightcap, 601 Queen’s Rd is a lively allday hangout. Breakfasts with cold pressed juices; after-work socials sound tracked by DJs, with craft beers and cocktails; to weekend brunches and Sunday roasts served with love

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ornings at 601 Queen’s Rd always start with a Caravan coffee and cold press juices followed by house eggs, breakfast tacos or pancakes.

Weekend brunches last all day, paired with perfect brunch cocktails of classic mango Bellini’s and Bloody Mary’s.

As the day evolves, so does 601 Queen’s Rd, coffee catch ups turn into late lunches, afterwork drinks into late night suppers. 601 Queen’s Rd pulls perfect pints of craft and draft beer, from Asahi UK, Beavertown and Camden Pale. Cocktails are curated with the seasons and served with a twist; the original Pornstar features as the Maverick Martini, made with Ketel One, fresh passionfruit, house made vanilla, passionfruit liqueur and a side of Prosecco. The classic gin martini is served Stirred not Shaken and the Raspberry

Sour is made with fresh passionfruit & raspberries, J&B Rare and Somerset Cider Liqueur.

Seasonal dishes served scratchcooked and locally sourced; small and sharing plates of Crispy Polenta Squid or Artichoke & Roast Pumpkin Hummus, mains of Grilled Seabass, Carrot and Barley Risotto and Flat Iron Chicken.

A backdrop for any occasion, 601 Queen’s Rd is a home from home for guests. Special occasions for parties of all sizes, guests can celebrate in a beautiful space within the bar; from an intimate supper for 24 guests to a cocktail party for 100.

As the nights draw in, thoughts turn to the perfect winter setting for celebration.

Festivities begin at 601 Queen’s Rd from 25th November when Champagne breakfasts, festive

drinks & nibbles and dinner parties will commence. Think winter feasting of Celeriac, Hazelnut and Truffle Soup, Beer Braised Beef Rib Cap and Sticky Toffee Christmas Pudding with Brandy Butter Cream & Hot Butterscotch Sauce. Bookings for Christmas start now. n

Something for you….

Quote ‘Darling’ when booking a table for four this September, to receive two complimentary bottles of Prosecco for your table.

To win a three-course feast and two bottles of bubbles for your after-work tribe, follow @theaddress_is and tag your three friends in a post using #darling.

Follow 601 Queen’s Rd: @TheAddress_Is Visit us: 601queensrd.co.uk Book a party: reservations@601queensrd.co.uk

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Healthy

APPETITE?

Inspired by the authentic flavours of Beirut street food, freshly made for the tastes of Wimbledon, Kababji Wimbledon has an app for that

What's Hot / Wimbledon AUTUMN '19 .pdf

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ith 26 established restaurants already located throughout the Middle East, the Kababji artisan grill is now open in Wimbledon, its first store in the UK. Sit down and savour, stop in for a takeaway or have it delivered to your door, whatever your appetite you can now enjoy the taste that has launched 21 million sandwiches since Kababji opened their first store in Lebanon over 25 years ago.

the delicious aubergine grill, falafel, halloumi and its renownedW hummus, HAT'S which is made fresh every morning using a secret blend of trademark herbs and spices as well as authentic tahini shipped from Lebanon.

Kababji prides itself on making “the Armani of sandwiches”. With its sleek, contemporary décor, grill centrepiece and use of technology for convenience you will be enticed by the casual, relaxed, vibrant atmosphere with the open grill where the friendly team cook and prepare your food in front of you.

Tech-savvy kiosks allow customers to Black order and track the progress of theirWHISTLES Mini Verity Backback, smoothfood via screens. Download the free effect leather with Kababji app which features a loyalty adjustable straps, £180 scheme, you’ll be gifted 5 points for a SENTI home of complimentary side, perfect for those fragrance, The Orchid; on the go as you can pre-order and beautifully hand-crafted fragrance for your home, collect on arrival. £150

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HOT

With sharing platters now available on the menu, Kababji aims toREISS bring Beatrix textured a genuine Beirut Street foodShort, vibe tailored short, £120 to Wimbledon, creating a social experience for people to enjoy.

Price JOSEPH AZAGURU point for wraps start from £5.50.

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FASHION They are also environmentally MATCHES Completedworks, conscious, have recycling areas, evenBend In The River the plastic cutlery is made from spiralledeargold-vermeil cuff, £245 recycled materials which are fully compostable, also, the option to have IRIS Lily & Lionel Rae Vintage Bloom the box meal served instead on a plate when eating in, to further reduce Dress, £220 single use disposables. n CY

Originally launched in Beirut, Kababji took inspiration from Lebanese street food and Mediterranean favourites, removing the unhealthy connotations surrounding these dishes and recreating them to be not only healthy and hygienic, but also famed for being the “tastiest grills and wraps”.

Kababji created a new era of wraps and platters where every skewer is sameday marinated, minute grilled; salads freshly chopped and seasoned; their delicious spreads and sauces mixed in front of guests But they are more than just about wraps & grill: with approximately 40% of the menu vegetarian as well as vegan, and features dishes such as

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23:04

BE SO GOOD THEY CAN’T IGNORE YOU

back-to-school Steve Martin, actor

Marja-Leena Toseland shares her experience as a parent of three

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he hunt for finding the best school for your child starts in earnest again at the start of a new academic year. It’s worth getting those Open Days in your diary as early as possible and to remember to visit the schools on your shortlist with an open mind.

The opinions of our friends and family, not to mention the school gate gossip, play a big part in the choices parents make when it comes to choosing a school. Take that

advice with you and prepare a whole lot of questions for the headteacher and staff, and don’t forget to chat to the current pupils.

No two schools are the same. Schools can approach the same thing in such dramatically opposing ways and yet all (potentially) get it right. Some schools believe in setting children in as many subjects as possible; others opt for mixed ability all the way. Even headteachers themselves are a very diverse

bunch with their strengths and weaknesses, not to mention passions, influencing the school they rule. Schools naturally pride themselves with excellent academic results and sporting achievements but it’s important to look beyond the obvious; think inclusivity in sports, music, drama and art, do you want religious traditions to play a part or is diversity important to you?

Here are some of the finest schools in our area to get your started on your search.

FELTONFLEET SCHOOL: Co-ed day and flexi-boarding prep school for ages 3 to 13 Situated on a 25 acre site of landscaped grounds with exceptional facilities. What makes Feltonfleet the first choice school for so many parents is the integrity and practice of their core belief that every individual really matters, underpinned by a values-driven ethos and a strong sense of community. In summer 2019, in response to overwhelming demand for places, work began on development of the Pre-Prep in addition to further investment in enhanced facilities for Science, Technology and Music. Next OPEN MORNING: Saturday 28th September 9.30am – 11.30am. Visits welcome at other times by appointment.

Byfleet Road, Cobham, Surrey KT11 1DR | feltonfleet.co.uk | admissions@feltonfleet.co.uk

HOLY CROSS PREPARATORY SCHOOL: Girls 4 to 11 A Catholic school with a strong Christian ethos, welcoming girls of all faiths. Their pupils nurture a true love of learning, the caring, vibrant community that pursues excellence on every level, demonstrated by the high number of scholarships awarded each year. With acres of outdoor space to explore and enjoy, including a state-of-the-art, all-weather sports pitch and pavilion (opened June 2019).

OPEN MORNING: Tuesday 8 October, 9:30am – 12:00pm. No appointment needed.

If you are unable to attend the Open Morning, please telephone to book a personal tour.

George Road, Kingston upon Thames, KT2 7NU | holycrossprepschool.co.uk | admissions@holycrossprep.com

16 autumn 19 | darlingmagazine.co.uk

schools promo

PUTNEY HIGH SCHOOL: Girls 4 to 18 Putney High GDST is spirited, ambitious and relevant. A forward-thinking approach to education encourages girls to think differently and to stand up and use their voice. Students leave not only with a top set of results, but with the confidence and the resourcefulness to make their mark in whatever they choose to pursue.

Putney is an energetic, fun, supportive and down-to-earth school. Pupils learn real-world skills such as entrepreneurship, oracy and the digital wizardry to get ahead in the modern world. Several OPEN DAY events will be held in October, please see our website for details.

35 Putney Hill, Putney, London SW15 6BH | putneyhigh.gdst.net

SHREWSBURY HOUSE SCHOOL: Boys 7 to 13 An outstanding IAPS independent Prep school for boys, with a superb academic record, committed staff, outstanding sporting facilities, small class sizes and dedicated pastoral care where every boy has the opportunity to fulfil his potential.

Shrewsbury House School has a national reputation for success in scholarships and awards to top day and boarding senior schools at 13+.

The school’s OPEN MORNING will take place on Saturday 28th September from 9.30am – 11.30am. Children are encouraged to attend the Open Morning too.

107 Ditton Road, Surbiton, Surrey KT6 6RL | shrewsburyhouse.net | registrar@shstrust.net

“Conclusive proof that all-girls education from an early age can be simply brilliant.”

The Good Schools Guide 2018

The Study is a leading prep school situated in the heart of Wimbledon Village.

We identify and nurture each girl’s unique academic, creative and sporting skills in a caring and supportive community.

For further details and to book a school visit, contact Jane Davis on 020 8947 6969 www.thestudyprep.co.uk Registered Charity No. 271012

We welcome enquires about our scheme of assistance with fees for girls aged 7+.

Preparatory School for girls aged four to eleven

On Wimbledon Broadway

50 Years Since Stonewall Local award-winning filmmaker and author, Shamim Sarif says LGBTQ+ teaching is a step in the right direction

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was born and raised in Surrey, to a Muslim family. Throughout my adolescence, I struggled with knowing I was gay, and I remember praying that, somehow, it would stop. Because I was taught, almost by osmosis, that being gay was wrong.

Over thirty years ago, there were no role models for me at school or on T.V. Within my Muslim community, no-one was allowed to acknowledge or talk about the people who were

18 autumn 19 | darlingmagazine.co.uk

clearly gay, because it was generally agreed to be against Islamic teachings. On top of that, the unfounded, insulting insinuation that all gay people are somehow deviant, promiscuous or immoral, was prevalent. For a child, a young teenager, these kinds of feelings, aimed at creating shame and fear and disgust, are powerful. How I wish there had been school classes that could have made me feel that I was not an aberration.

education teach their children what they like in the privacy of their own homes. They are free to have their children wear a hijab or a cross outside the home if they choose. There is a legal process that can be used against anyone who threatens that religious freedom. That is not the case in countries such as Saudi Arabia, where religious law is enshrined. An atheist or Christian woman visiting Saudi must still cover her head to meet Muslim standards.

Shamim Sarif & Hanan Kattan

I did come out, eventually. I’ve been with my wife for over 23 years and we have two sons who we chose to have together. It was tough in the early years - our families were not supportive. There was no legal framework for us to be married at that time, and we had to use work-arounds to ensure we had proper parental rights. But times change, and the laws have changed. These laws have not created more gay people, but they’ve given relief and validation to those of us who felt marginalized. We live in Wimbledon and the kids of our friends and neighbours are unfazed and, frankly, not bothered that we are LGBTQ+.

I wonder if they would still be unfazed if they received a class at school that told them some people think it’s wrong?

Sophie Khan argued in the summer issue of Darling that the rights of religious parents could be infringed by the Government’s new relationship education programme which allows LGBTQ+ relationships to be normalised, alongside other forms of marriage and partnership. While acknowledging that she is fully entitled to advertise her legal services and that the article was written so that parents who believed their human rights were being breached could seek legal assistance via her firm, I take issue with her suggested solution: that the government programme should also teach the ‘counter-narrative to LGBTQ+ relationships, as proclaimed in religious texts.’ She does not mention the obvious—that the counter-narrative would explain that in certain religious sects, homosexuality is considered to be wrong.

My belief is that religious parents are lucky to live in a country, such as the U.K., that values human freedom, because they are absolutely at liberty to

The U.K.’s laws are not derived from religion; they are secular. They uphold equality, freedom and human dignity, irrespective of race, religion, gender or sexuality. That is the ‘contract’ one signs by choosing to live here. And for anyone who disrespects these principles, there is a price to pay. For instance, I cannot own a business in the U.K. and decide that I only want to hire white employees and not people of colour, or only heterosexual employees. There is a legal process by which I can be held to account.

These principles work on the basis of inclusion.

But when we start to suggest that someone’s sexuality might be wrong, or considered wrong in some quarters, that creates exclusion. It creates the possibility in the mind of a child that being gay, for instance, is perhaps not completely okay.

In my opinion, no version of exclusion has a place being taught in schools. Because, here’s what exclusion does: it creates a sense of superiority in those doing the excluding, and it makes those excluded feel ostracized or unworthy. We exclude rapists and murderers from society. Should we, in a free country, be excluding (even under the guise of providing a ‘balanced view’) anyone based on their inherent traits, or based on lifestyle choices that do not hurt anyone else?

I believe that religious antipathy to LGBTQ+ people is flawed, not least because judging people on their inner values is more meaningful than on inherent traits like colour or sexuality.

But that is not a debate for this article. We live in a secular society that believes in true freedom and equality. My view is that this same equality is deeply eroded when a counter-narrative is taught that suggests that some of our freedoms may be wrong. n Twitter & Instagram @shamimsarif

darlingmagazine.co.uk |autumn 19 19

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Health Minister joins Olympic legend & TV Gladiator at their Athletics Academy for Schools

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lympic legend Daley Thompson and Gladiators and pole vault champ star Kate Staples have been inspiring schoolchildren through their “Run, Jump, Throw Academy” and now they have received the support of Health Minister Stephen Hammond.

The MP for Wimbledon joined two-time Olympic champion Daley and Kate at Donhead School, Wimbledon where their coaching team put excited and energised pupils through their running, jumping and throwing paces.

Daley Thompson Athletics Academies operate in dozens of schools, combining fun and games with genuine athletic coaching and health and fitness habits that could last a lifetime.

“We’re not trying to unearth the next Olympic champion”, commented Daley. “But we’re trying to reach all kids, get them active, having fun, learning good habits and getting fitter and healthier”.

Stephen Hammond added, “It’s more important than ever that children are encouraged to be active, fit and healthy. The wonderful initiative that Kate and Daley have developed can help safeguard children’s fitness and participation in sports”. n

Details & Bookings: aspiretogreatness.co.uk

NEW exciting Daley Thompson’s Academy

darlingmagazine.co.uk |autumn 19 21 for 7-11 yrs and Speed and Agility (for all sports) 12-15yrs Wimbledon Park Athletics Track. Register Now!

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Are you a responsible dog walker?

Have you noticed the “Responsible Dog-walker” banners across Wimbledon and Putney Commons?

S

imon Lee, Chief Executive commented “One of the biggest issues our staff have is balancing the differing needs of visitors to the Commons. Responsible dog control has become a significant issue and we have launched our campaign to raise awareness so that all visitors can enjoy their visit 23 here and the wildlife that live here are safe”.

your dog is always under proper control, that you always pick up after your dog and don’t walk more than four dogs in anyone group, you can walk on proudly. If not, take a few seconds to consider the impact your dog might be having on someone else’s visit, to the wildlife that live on the Commons and help ensure that everyone’s visit is enjoyable.

With an increasing number of complaints from visitors about the amount of dog-waste; horses spooked and children having food snatched from their hands by dogs, something needed to be done.

Do take the time to talk to our Mounted Keepers, they’d be delighted to stop and chat about this campaign, and any other queries you may have. n

Earlier in the year the Commons launched a “Responsible Dog-walker” campaign focusing on three main issues: • Do you pick up after your dog and dispose of the waste appropriately?

• Do you keep your dog in sight and under control?

• Do you walk no more than four dogs in any one group of people?

Dog waste not only carries the potentially harmful bacteria Ocular Toxocariasis which can cause blindness in humans, it is also full of detrimental nutrients affecting the nutrient status of the soil and potentially damaging the rare heathland habitats.

The questions are designed to encourage people to stop and think - not everyone who comes to the Commons is a lover of dogs, some people are genuinely afraid of dogs, particularly if they are in a large group. If you are confident

020 8788 7655 rangersoffice@wpcc.org.uk wpcc.org.uk

The Friends of King’s College School

Christmas Fair 2019 Free Admission for All Visitors. Non King’s Community very welcome!

Plenty of activities for all ages and over 100 stalls to purchase your perfect Christmas Gifts.

Come and see the King’s Rugby First XV play Aylesbury Grammar at 11 am Christmas Grotto Santa Photo Booth Games for all ages Food Court

Saturday 30 November 2019 11 am - 4 pm Official Fair Opening by Special Guest Follow us on Instagram @ kcs_christmas_fair or find us on kcs.org.uk The Friends of King’s College School Wimbledon is a Registered Charity (No. 1005992).

View and order your Christmas Tree at the Fair and arrange pick on Saturday 7 December 2019 More to follow!

Nousha family portrait studio

1

event promo

Want help getting back to work?

Sarah Austin Founder of Really Helpful Club

Really Helpful Club ‘Back to Business’ day, helping to realise your dreams

Dame Helena Morrissey DBE

W

e’ve all experienced that feeling of dread on returning to work after a holiday. But, when that return comes after a career break of months or years, the stakes can be considerably higher.

Your path back to work can involve retraining, expanding your network or taking a leap into self-employment.

‘An exciting opportunity to recognise your own talent and transferable skills and put them to good use’ Career breaks can happen for a number of reasons; bringing up a family, an illness, caring

for an elderly relative, or after a travel adventure. The common denominator is that returning to work has its challenges. You may need new skills and you may want greater flexibility. Perhaps you’ll start your own business or grow a side project? Or you might even want to dip your toe in the water by becoming a volunteer. It can be daunting, but it’s also an exciting opportunity to recognise your own talent and transferable skills, put them to good use and make a difference.

At Really Helpful Club, we’re helping returners re-engage with the workplace, start or grow their own business with our ‘Back to Business Realising Your Dreams’ event on Wednesday 9th October.

We’re delighted to welcome leading City businesswoman Dame Helena Morrissey as our keynote speaker.

Workshops and seminars will cover returning to work, looking for flexible options, career coaching and confidence-building, social media, marketing and investment funding, and volunteering. Our aim is to

inspire new directions, help you make new connections and meet like-minded people. Whether you’re at a crossroads in your current path or you want to progress to the next stage, this seminar is for you!

In the build-up to this event, we’re really excited to be launching a brand new jobs board, along with a careers and business hub, on the Really Helpful Club website. Our ever-growing membership (15,000 and counting) already have access to our buzzing community forums and directory of recommended businesses, in addition to a full programme of informative, inspiring and interesting events which will run throughout the Autumn. n Early bird tickets are available for £49, including refreshments and lunch.

Wednesday 9th October Roehampton University caroline@reallyhelpfulclub.com

More information about membership and events can be found at reallyhelpfulclub.com

darlingmagazine.co.uk |autumn 19 25

Adrian’s Call A right, royal West End debut for our very own Adrian Mills

M

ost people in Wimbledon know me either as the Chairman of the Business Association, or Thai Tho or that bloke we keep seeing drinking coffee in the Village! However, the real reason I originally travelled to London in the 70’s was to train as an actor at Drama School. This in turn led to many theatre and television appearances in programmes such as Dr Who, Minder, Play for Today, before joining the BBC 1 Thats Life! team.

An ambition that is about to be realised after all these years, is an appearance in the West End. I’m delighted to have been asked to narrate a new musical showcase about the life of Princess Diana.

Brian Watson the writer of ‘Call me Diana’ remembered me from 20 years ago when we worked together in commercials and I hope to bring enthusiasm and clarity to the telling of her story.

These are early days for this production and this will give people a sample of the future

performance, as well as introducing a newcomer to the West End... after all I’ve only waited forty years! n

10 magical days on Wimbledon Common

Wimbledon BookFest is here again 3rd – 13th October

Emily Maitlis

Mariella Frostrup

Nadiya Hussain

T

he Baillie Gifford Big Tent on Wimbledon Common, close to the Village, is a much anticipated fixture in the local autumn calendar featuring a vibrant programme of talks, debates and workshops showcasing literary names, current affairs, sport, film, fashion, music, children’s events, comedy and much more.

This year the festival welcomes literary stars such as Ben Okri, John Lanchester, Robert Harris and Tracy Chevalier. Celebrate Opening Night with Joanne Harris, author of Chocolat talking about her new novel The Strawberry Thief!

Festival highlights include Poet Laureate Simon Armitage; a rare chance to hear from international bestseller Patricia Cornwell; author, explorer and TV presenter Levison Wood; England’s all-time most successful batsman Sir Alastair Cook in conversation with John Inverdale.

Patricia Cornwell

Levison Wood

As ever, BookFest is keen to share perspectives on issues that affect us today and one of the key strands of this year’s festival is the environment. Sustainability expert Mike Berners Lee will offer practical advice on how we can avoid climate calamity and journalists Dana Thomas and Lucy Siegel will discuss the antidote to fast fashion.

A packed children’s programme features Dame Jacqueline Wilson, Harry Hill, Konnie Huq, Nell Gifford, Chris Riddell and Chris Ryan. n

Tickets available from wimbledonbookfest.org

rtfully SORTED

Newsnight presenter Emily Maitlis provides a fascinating exposé on how the news is made, whilst Mariella Frostrup celebrates incredible female travel writing, the subject of her new book Wild Women.

Fashionistas won’t want to miss BookFest’s Vogue Fashion event as experts debate the magic and mystique of lingerie and heels over a glass of prosecco. Wimbledon based entrepreneur and ASOS founder Nick Robertson reveals the fascinating story behind the fashion phenomenon.

The Festival’s closing event will be The Great British Bake Off’s break out star Nadiya Hussain discussing her heartfelt memoir Finding My Voice.

This year’s BookFest sees an extended series of workshops, themed walks on Wimbledon Common, the Little Library Supper Club, gin tasting, film screenings and two comedy night headlined by Adam Kay, Bridget Christie and Rachel Parris.

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WE NEED TO TALK about scamming

Untitled 12, Envelop(e)s

A

recent exhibition at contemporary art gallery One Paved Court in Richmond saw artist Julie Derbyshire present a new body of photographic work alongside her fabricated objects that inspired it.

Informed by personal experience, Possession is the culmination of Julie’s investigation into the increasingly disturbing social issue of scamming, particularly as it touches vulnerable elderly individuals. Her aim, through her artwork, is to bring a new voice to the topic.

The behaviour of victims who succumb to scamming is typically characterised by excessive spending, often beyond their means, and a secretive obsession with the purchase and hoarding of items. It is often motivated by false promises of friendship and future wealth through manipulation, emotional coercion and insidiousness. Engaging with the scammers in a dialogue, ordering and receiving objects, becomes an addiction. Those who become embroiled are invariably vulnerable and often newly socially isolated. With perpetrators often based abroad and away from UK jurisdiction and complex legal provisions regarding issues of mental

capacity, family and friends are left to watch on, powerless.

the conflict between the lure of perceived beauty and the unsettling and ugly effects on those vulnerable to coercion.

A series of photographs of hand crafted paper porcelain envelopes bearing extracts of text commonly used in scamming schemes makes reference to the relentless and insidious nature of correspondence that victims of such practices are exposed to. Made from a material historically prized for its combination of strength and fragility, the envelopes allude to the transition from seemingly harmless words to the secrecy and complicity engulfing their recipients.

Chandelier of False Promises

Julie’s work draws on the vanitas tradition to convey the tension between the temptation and emptiness of worldly possessions. She employs still lifes as a commentary on modern consumerism, its excesses and pitfalls. Iterations of wealth, value and exorbitance range from a beguiling chandelier made from imitation jewellery, hoarded by a victim over years of scamming exploitation, to more conceptual objects that make reference to

Julie has exhibited in the UK and abroad and her work is held in private collections. She has received a number of awards and was recently nominated for the RPS 100 Heroines Award. All of the images from this body of work can be viewed on Julie’s website.

Julie Derbyshire juliederbyshire.com Instagram: @juliederbyshire For future exhibitions at One Paved Court visit onepavedcourt.co.uk

darlingmagazine.co.uk |autumn 19 29

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sep-oct 2013 | darlingmagazine.co.uk

promo

Straight Teeth are

Healthy Teeth Fast, effective and virtually invisible straightening solutions at Dental Rooms in Wimbledon Village

B

races are not just for teenagers. More and more adults are biting the bullet and taking control of the health and appearance of their teeth. Perhaps they missed the boat with NHS braces in their teens, or else they did have braces but were neglectful with their retainer.

Am I too old for braces?

It is a common misconception that age is a barrier for what is often a simple, effective and lasting solution to improving both your appearance and your oral health. The demand for adult orthodontics has dramatically increased, particularly since the advent of more aesthetically pleasing, even virtually invisible, appliances. As long as your gums and teeth are healthy there are NO real age limits to orthodontic treatment.

Straight teeth are healthy teeth We feel that everyone needs to be aware that straightening your teeth is not just about looks.

Straighter teeth are healthier teeth. Invisalign is an extremely effective, yet non-invasive way of achieving straighter teeth, a properly aligned bite and an improved smile.

Having Invisalign treatment also means: • Tooth wear reduced due to improved bite • Reduced susceptibility to decay with fewer gaps for food and plaque to get trapped in • Facilitation of restorative treatment i.e. implant, veneers, crown and bridge work • A brighter smile – crowded and gappy teeth are corrected, making it easy to clean teeth well and reduce or eliminate staining

We offer several teeth straightening options at Dental Rooms and Invisalign is a very popular option. In simplest terms, this is because Invisalign uses a series of virtually invisible, removable and comfortable aligners to give you a beautiful set of straight teeth.

Orthodontist and Practice Partner, Angela Auluck is an Invisalign platinum provider - one of the more experienced providers in the UK. She will use state of-the-art 3D scanning and computer-imaging technology to plan treatment and create a series of completely bespoke aligners, just for you. n

Invisalign Digital Smile Open Day Saturday 14th September 10am-2pm An excellent opportunity to explore the Invisalign system.

• Special offer - £500 off *T&Cs apply • FREE 15 minute mini consultation with our Specialist Orthodontist • FREE digital scan and photographs • FREE treatment plan and cost • 0% finance available

Call to reserve an appointment on 020 8946 2426 and quote “DM0919” Dental Rooms, 1 Ridgway, SW19 4RS dentalrooms.co.uk

darlingmagazine.co.uk |autumn 19 31

promo

Beauty

Vampires aren’t only for halloween!

Celebrity skin treatments using your own plasma

It’s Autumn. Summer has become a joyful memory and 2019 is beginning to gently wind down. It’s heads down for the final sprint of the year. All that’s left is a half term break and Halloween before the big blow out at Christmas and New Year’s Eve Why wait until January to start your journey to better skin and hair?

We are experts in rejuvenating ‘Vampire’ facials and vitamin platelet hair thickening treatments and like a fairy godmother we will help you begin 2020 with a naturally youthful look and feel. Platelet rich plasma (PRP) treatments have been made famous by Kim Kardashian, Bar Refaeli and even the British actor Rupert Everett who enjoy the very natural looking rejuvenation it gives. We prefer to call it Regenerative Medicine.

PRP utilizes the healing components of your blood to rejuvenate your skin or hair. We add prescriptive vitamins and growth factors to supercharge the plasma making the treatments even more effective.

We take a little blood from your arm, like a blood test, and extract the healthy platelets.

We then add the vitamins and apply using controlled, almost pain free shallow injections.

Our vitamin PRP facials can be used alongside traditional Botulinum wrinkle injections which do not improve skin tone or encourage new collagen production. Some of our clients have now made the switch from wrinkle injections to PRP due to the very natural results we achieve for them. No more frozen foreheads.

What about scars, burns and stretch marks?

Our pharmacist, Bhavash, is highly trained and experienced in microneedling and uses this technique to reduce and soften scarring including acne scars, fade burns and even skin tone on stretch marks. Improvements are often seen from the very first treatment and need a course of treatments for marked changes.

Minimal Downtime We prefer our patients to be treated and continue with their lives with minimal disruption.

Both regenerative PRP medicine and microneedling allow you go back to your normal routine shortly after.

Treatments take between 45-90 minutes and you only have a pink glow on the skin when you leave. Any redness on the skin usually settles within 48 hours.

We believe it is possible to have naturally looking younger skin without surgery, toxins and without the need to hide away post treatment. n Mr Bhavash Padhiar BSc (Hons) MRPharmS Pharmacist 020 8088 0738 Lulu Blonde 20 Ridgeway Wimbledon Village myhair@wimblederm.co.uk wimblederm.co.uk Read my blogs on ladywimbledon.com

Darling magazine offer Mention Darling Magazine to receive 20% discount on your first PRP or Microneedling treatment.

Offer ends 24 Dec ‘19 mention ‘Darling 19’ to activate this offer when booking.

Beauty

Skin Rehab starts now

You can’t beat lying in the sun says Louise Stewart from Nakedhealth Medispa

F

eeling the warmth bathe your whole body and knowing that you are replenishing your Vitamin D levels. You do your best to wear a big hat, sunglasses and a good quality high factor suncream. You feel fantastic when you come home. Light summer clothes look gorgeous and you can wear less with your beautifully tanned limbs.

Then you look in your 15x magnification mirror!

Scrutinising your skin you realise that the sun has been at work. You know you can get away with it for a few weeks whilst you are refreshed and rested, but those extra bits of darker pigmentation are going to be the biggest contributor to poor looking, aged skin. As the rest of the tan fades, they will lurk.

Now is the time to act.

Unquestionably those with the most enviable skin have a smooth, clear, fresh look and need little make-up to even up the tone. The specialists at Nakedhealth MEDISPA have been undergoing advanced techniques training with Lumenis M22 and are ready to tackle the most stubborn of skin conditions. They will appraise your skin using specialist imaging technology, discuss your goals and devise

the appropriate treatment program for you. You may like to add in your hands, shoulders or décolletage too. Easily treated but often neglected UNTIL party season and low-cut dresses.

Mr Gateley and his team of skilled injectors are trained in the specialist MD Codes™ which can chisel, sculpt, lift and refine the face to a natural, subtle and rejuvenated shape but it is not enough if the skin appears mottled and uneven.

“You need to get the canvas right first” says Tanty Indriasari, Clinic Manager, “we are delighted to have the most effective treatment to perform this”.

This advanced technology also delivers the Photofractional™ Solution, a total skin rejuvenating treatment which combines pigment reduction with gentle resurfacing so that

skin tone and texture can be greatly improved in the same session.

Other conditions which can also be effectively treated are broken capillaries, facial redness, rosacea, acne and scarring. n Book in for The Nakedhealth Open House Event on Thursday 7th November, where this and many other treatments will be showcased Nakedhealth MEDISPA 261-263 Coombe Lane Wimbledon SW20 0RH 020 8944 5454 nakedhealth.co.uk

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Beauty

‘Natural Botox’

Wimbledon’s best kept Secret!

Ross Farmer Cosmetic Acupuncturist explains

T

he Secret Face Clinic has come to South West London and offers Cosmetic Facial Acupuncture, also known as ‘natural Botox’; it’s a widely endorsed celebrity favourite and a recent addition to Harrod’s own well-being centre.

This chemical free, relaxing, holistic facial treatment uses between 40 and 100 carefully inserted

acupuncture needles into the face causing an immediate reduction of fine lines and general firming and lifting of the face.

When the needles are inserted, they cause microtrauma to the cell bed where new skin cells are produced. This kick starts the body’s natural healing process around these cells producing higher collagen levels and improving areas of skin damage / discolouration and spider veins.

The new skin cells are also more hydrophilic in nature meaning they hold more water and natural oils. This stops sagging of skin and gives a more full and firm appearance.

After an initial course of treatment, the effects will last a month with the main feedback being from friends and family that your skin seems brighter and fresher.

All without unnatural chemicals, painful procedures or structural changes to your appearance.

No More Smudged Eyebrows…

Microblading is an innovative semi-permanent make-up treatment, creating individual hair strokes that mimic real eyebrow hair. You will be surprised how natural-looking and flattering your eyebrows will be as the transformation is immediate.

Good eyebrows happen by appointment.

Lucie Oliver 07734 543445 | lucieoliveraesthetics.co.uk

The treatment typically takes around an hour and is delivered in the comfort and convenience of your own home (perfect for those with busy schedules or children to look after). There are some points where you may feel a light scratch but otherwise the treatment is relaxing and painless.

Five minutes after the procedure any tell-tale signs of a treatment will have disappeared, and you will look like you but on a really good day! n Find out more at TheSecretFaceClinic.co.uk Covering South West London and Surrey Borders Book a FREE initial Consultation to find out more

Beauty

Injectable ‘Tweakments’ are the new skincare

Says Alison Telfer RN NIP from The Glasshouse Clinic in Wimbledon Village

Yet many of us stop there.

Unhappy with the results, hopeful with each tweak we make to our skin care regime that complexion perfection can be achieved, yet with the molecules sitting on our skin too large to break our natural barrier we now understand that going under the skin is the only way to achieve real results.

Alison working with a client

M

ost of you would steer away from the thought of a needle.

Frozen foreheads, puffy cheeks and over filled faces plague magazines, the internet and social media and yet we all have that one friend or a friend of a friend whose skin seems to have stood still in time!

Before we go on our exotic holidays, we are given immunisation in the form of an injection, when our body is in need of ultimate pain

Injectable skincare is the new moisturiser that works, without changing the structure of the face and improving the skin’s appearance

relief a needle is chosen over a numbing cream, likewise when our vitamin levels are desperately low our doctors turn to a needle over a tablet.

So why does this change when we consider our skin?

Our skin acts as a barrier against the environment, protecting our insides from the outside world in an exceptional way. And as we age our lifestyle begins to show on our skin, it appears thinner, lack lustre - our youthful glow replaced with textured, crepey, dull skin.

Collagen capsules are a thing of the past; we have tried them hoping this youthful elixir would bring back our skin’s bounce restoring and repairing.

Though it may sound like a chilling thought, injectable skincare is the new moisturiser that works without changing the structure of the face and improving the skin’s appearance. Profhilo works by injecting hyaluronic acid under the skin, causing the skin to produce collagen and elastin and giving our skin greater luminosity. Hyaluronic Acid is found in almost every skin care regime, being one of the most desired ingredients used to rehydrate. n

Come in and see Alison Telfer RN NIP, founder and Aesthetic Director at The Glasshouse Clinic to uncover your skin’s health with a complimentary consultation this autumn when you mention Darling.

32 High Street SW19 5BY wimbledon@theglasshouseclinic.co.uk 020 3968 0788

darlingmagazine.co.uk |autumn 19 35

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Rich Autumn Colours Award winning Love & Dye Organic Hair Salon takes the toxic out of your hair care

Love & Dye Stylist Yissel weaves her magic

T

his autumn it’s all about a balayage.

Balayage is a smooth transition from a darker colour starting at the roots to lighter shades towards the ends. In effect, the unflattering regrowth is not as visible as in traditional highlights and thus this trend is more forgiving for those struggling with regular hair visits, according to Yassel, the colour expert at Love & Dye. At the salon we only use organic, vegan and ammonia free hair products from Organic Way (O-Way). They are great products to work with as they are non-toxic and do not produce fumes.

From a client’s perspective, they can be sure they are using the safest, stripped of the majority of chemicals

and most nurturing hair colour range there is. On top of that, the clients show surprise at how much more vivid and rich these colours are, says Piotr, Love & Dye founder.

Organic Way was awarded The Most Ethical Hair Product Company certificate.

So, if you are looking to make an impact on the environment and give your hair some loving care, pop in to Love & Dye, Raynes Park. n 187 Worple Road 020 8944 5889 loveanddye.com darlingmagazine.co.uk |autumn 19 37

Thom Kirby Hair “High quality hair in a relaxed, friendly atmosphere.”

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MENTAL HEALTH promo

“I am only as happy as my least happy child”

O

ur home and family life has long been our place of refuge. A place where we can find love, support, nurturance and acceptance for being ourselves. In reality we often return home to find ourselves in the midst of chores, stress and pressure.

To flourish we all need a safe place, both physically and psychologically, to come home to. When a home is secure and solid it gives children the ability to handle the demands of growing up. Giving our kids a sanctuary is a gift, it allows them to go out into the world and deal with life knocks in the knowledge that they can come home to recharge.

The Practice provides support to children, young people and parents so that home life can be a place where all members are thriving and not simply surviving. n

Pam Custers is an experienced therapist working with individuals, couples and families.

MA. BA (Psych) Hons and is a RELATE trained.

MBACP (accredited) Contact 07572 841 388 | pamcusters.co.uk

A&B

Horse Riding Simulator Lessons

No home is perfect and we all have had some “robust” moments in our family life but what research shows is that what we give to our children in their early years lasts a life time. How your relationships work at home is the template by which your children will see the world. Our relationships resonate with each other. As one parent said, “I am only as happy as my least happy child”. Making our home a refuge works for both the adults and the children.

What simple things can we do to make our home a refuge? Firstly, slow down. Be honest with yourself and reduce the stress by simply slowing down. Secondly be clear that home is a sanctuary where disrespect will simply not be tolerated. Thirdly try and make home a lowpressure place where there is enough down time for everyone to “noodle about”. Fourthly accept your children’s baby self when they just can’t keep up the “big girl” self anymore. All children need a chance to be their baby self. Finally, consciously decide what your family’s ethos is and have everyone buy into it.

A safe and effective way to train children and beginners.

Group lessons are great fun for families and friends who want to learn together.

darlingmagazine.co.uk | |autumn summer19 19 39

MENTAL HEALTH

When two becomes three Bringing you together or pushing you apart?

Asks Emma Parr, psychotherapist specialising in mothers and babies Within my practice I work in a variety of ways to empower my clients to communicate authentically. n Emma Parr is an experienced therapist who works with individuals covering a range of issues, but specialises in mothers and babies.

MA. MBACP, PG Dip Couns. DBS Certificate.

F

amily dynamics impact us throughout our lives. A time when we often become hyper aware of it is when our immediate family has a new addition. We find ourselves needing to learn how to parent as individuals and as a team. With our first child in particular we are learning on the job, regardless of how many books, online sites and blogs we read, our family will be unique.

emma@emmaparr.net emmaparr.net Claire Cotton ad_AU19.pdf 07387 812586

1

17/07/2019

13:48

Within this growing family are two people with their own perspective on how to bring up their baby. The primary carer spends the majority of time at home and is therefore able to implement C what feels right to them. The partner, who is M not there day to day in the same way, can feel left out and is expected to slot back into family Y life with ease. The partner can be punished for CM being absent, despite often working to support the family during maternity/paternity leave. It is MY important to acknowledge both jobs are in their CY own way tough, neither better nor worse than the other, just different.

CMY Having a baby can either bring us together or pushK us apart. Supporting each other through clear communication is key. Using ‘I statements’ can help with this. For many first-time mothers’ it is important they are seen and heard. Acknowledging them by saying, “I can see you have had a tough day, what do you need?” can reassure that the hard stuff is not being missed, and in turn neither are they. It is not about fixing but accepting where we are and listening to what the other needs.

claire@healthyincome.cc

darlingmagazine.co.uk |autumn 19 41

Less worry and less wait And less expense than you might think Spire St Anthony’s Hospital provides fast and flexible access to leading London consultants and treatments Arrange to see a specialist today

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MENTAL HEALTH

Raising a child with disabilities Your biggest challenges are your greatest strengths, says coach Sera Johnston

we tell ourselves is only true to us. You have the power to change your story, only you.

Making the decision to do things differently is easy, keeping going when the going gets tough is your biggest strength.

R

eally, I hear you say. How can this be possible when life is not what was planned? Consumed with the day-today care and responsibilities of your child and no time to focus on the things that once were part of your life.

I get it, regardless if you have just been told of your child’s diagnosis or you have known for a while, the feeling of loss, the feeling of the unknown is real. Yet, is it fair to treat it as a loss or actually see this as an opportunity to learn and experience a world that otherwise would have been alien to you.

There is no denying the challenges you face are real; I am not saying to ignore them. Yet your reactions and the choices you make are down to you. Taking personal responsibility is the key to leading a life of choice on your terms – yes even raising a child with disabilities.

Taking responsibility is a mindset change, a change of habit and behaviour. Every story

Think about the most challenging times you have faced when you have had to deal with the unknown, what were the strengths you gained as a result – resilience, confidence, bravery perhaps. The key is to focus on what you have overcome and as a result has given you a different perspective on what you can achieve.

You may have landed in a different destination to the one you had booked, don’t let this be your final destination.

Don’t stop until you reach where you are meant to be. If you stop because you fall or meet resistance, you will never be the author of your own story. n

Ready to change the way you feel? Tired of feeling tired, had enough of feeling you’ve lost all hope for a happier future. Know it’s time for YOU to have support and help to feel better about life, then I invite you to book in a call at: sera@serajohnston.com

07747 612 510 serajohntson.com darlingmagazine.co.uk | summer 19 43

legal promo

Rights and obligations during maternity leave With Peacock & Co’s Associate Solicitor Clare Chappell

Maternity leave can be many things – wonderful, fraught, amazing, isolating, life-changing, inconvenient, to name but a few adjectives that might be used by anyone impacted by an employee’s absence on maternity leave. Navigating the legal rights and obligations that apply to employers and employees around pregnancy and maternity leave can be a minefield.

44 autumn 19 | darlingmagazine.co.uk

Many employees will go off on maternity leave, return to their jobs after a year off, during which time a temp has been covering, and carry on as before, with no real changes to their role in the organisation.

But what happens where an employer wants to make changes to the organisation structure that will impact on the employee’s role? What happens if the employee wants to change her working pattern?

Can either party expect to get their ideal solution?

PEACOCK & CO Solicitors

Clare Chappell

Back to basics: if an employee has only taken Ordinary Maternity Leave (OML), i.e. up to 26 weeks’ maternity leave, she can return to her own job. If she has taken any Additional Maternity Leave (AML), i.e. 26 to 52 weeks’ maternity leave, she can still return to her own job, unless it is “not reasonably practicable” to do so.

From the employee’s perspective, she might want to change her job by applying to work flexibly, maybe part time, shorter hours, or condensed hours - anything that is not to the employer’s standard pattern. Whilst all employees with more than 26 weeks’ service are entitled to apply for flexible working, employers are not obliged to grant the request. The employee must put the request in writing, and employers must deal with it in a reasonable manner and confirm the decision to the employee within three months. There are specified reasons to refuse a request, such as a detrimental impact on quality or performance, or the burden of additional costs. Take care though: employees can claim in the Employment Tribunals if an employer fails to deal with their request properly, or if the employer’s decision is discriminatory.

From the employer’s perspective, fundamental changes may be taking place at the organisation during the employee’s absence on maternity leave. Having a baby is undoubtedly life changing for the parents, but organisations are not expected to stand still. There is a fundamental difference between a legitimate need to reorganise and cut costs by making redundancies, which (after due consultation) happen to include an employee on maternity leave; and a targeted effort to remove or side-line

an employee, because it is assumed that now she has had a baby she won’t be as devoted to work.

A genuine redundancy situation would generally make it “not reasonably practicable” for an employee to return to her job.

It is not impossible to fairly dismiss a woman who is pregnant or on maternity leave; it is however, necessary to take care, be aware of the protections such employees benefit from, and to be sure that there are fair, objective, commercial and non-discriminatory reasons for doing so.

With a little thought, planning, legal advice, and communication, it should be possible to overcome most issues, in order to get to a solution that works for both employer and employee. That might be a flexible working arrangement that gets the job done, retains the employee’s years of built up knowledge and intangible value to the employer, whilst enabling the employee to collect her child from nursery. Or, it might be a fair redundancy, where the employee’s maternity leave was merely coincidental. Perhaps it is somewhere in between, and the departure is eased with a compensation payment under a settlement agreement. As with all employment matters, each situation is unique; obtaining early legal advice can be crucial. n If you would like to discuss any of the issues in this article, or any other Employment Law matters, please contact Clare Chappell at clare.chappell@peacock-law.co.uk or on

020 8944 5290 peacock-law.co.uk

Please note the information contained in this article is for general guidance only. Legal advice should be sought before taking action in relation to specific matters Peacock & Co Solicitors Limited (trading as Peacock & Co Solicitors) is a company registered in England and Wales (Registration No. 11842919), whose registered address is 94 High Street, Wimbledon Village, London, SW19 5EG. Authorised and Regulated by the Solicitors Regulation Authority.

darlingmagazine.co.uk |autumn 19 45

BLACK CONSTRUCTION

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In each and every element of our carpets – colour, design, yarn and backing, we ensure that the final product is of great quality that will delight you for many years. Luxury require the finest attention to detail and with the combined craftsmanship of Elements and The Flooring Company we ensure the highest quality and distinction.

THE FLOORING COMPANY | 020 8971 9101 | info@theflooringco.co.uk | 257 Coombe Lane, West Wimbledon SW20 0RH

COOK’S CORNER Autumn is all about colour and getting back to our roots!

Parties to Go Rainbow Pie 400g Butternut Squash (use half carrot, half butternut squash for variety). Slice thinly 300g Spinach 250g Mozzarella cheese (cut into Slices) 3 Large red peppers (cut into slices) 300g Cooked beetroot (cut into slices) 1 Large onion 2 Garlic cloves Vegetable Oil 2 Tbsp breadcrumbs 1 Egg 750g Ready rolled light short crust pastry (2 x 375g rolls)

Method

Heat the oven to fan 180 degrees.

Line an 18cms round spring form tin.

Roast the squash, peppers and onion and garlic on a baking tray in the oven for 20 mins or until coloured with tbsp of vegetable oil.

Meanwhile lightly cook the spinach, allow to cool and squeeze out as much liquid as possible. This is to keep the pie as dry as possible.

Line the tin with the ready rolled pastry.

Spread the base with breadcrumbs and then layer with the beetroot slices, squash, pepper and onion mix, mozzarella slices, and then the spinach to finish off.

Cover the top with the pastry and with the overhang crimp the edges and fold in if necessary.

If preferred cut the pastry so it just over hangs and then crimp.

Make a small cross in the top of the pie so the steam can escape and the pie doesn’t get too soggy.

Bake in the oven for 50-60mins or until pasty is cooked and golden.

Remove from the oven and leave in tin for 20 mins.

After cooled remove from tin and cut in to slices.

Serve with some lovely chutneys or relishes. Perfect for lunch or dinner.

I

Carole Cory

t’s a great time of year for vegetables of all different shapes, sizes and colours and with more and more dietary requirements to cater for, I am constantly on the lookout for new and exciting vegetarian recipes.

One such recipe that goes down a treat is the Parties to Go Rainbow pie. With lots of variations this meal will fill you up and has all sorts of wonderful vegetables in it. It also looks amazing when you serve it with all the different coloured layers. For those who don’t like making pastry, this is the cheat’s version! n

020 8947 5337 carole@partiestogo.co.uk | partiestogo.co.uk

AUTUMN BRIDGE with Bridge Guru Paul Mendelson

Creating Connections Inspiring Success

THE LEADING INTERNATIONAL NETWORKING, TRAINING ANDKingston, Wimbledon, Putney, Balham, DEVELOPMENT BUSINESS CLUB FORCourt FEMALE Surbiton, Streatham and Hampton EXECUTIVES AND ENTREPRENEURS. VISITORS AND NEW MEMBERS WELCOME.

EMAIL ‘My vision is to encourage more women to julie@theathenanetwork.com network and in turn realise their full potential by helping and inspiring them and providing valuable connections’, says Julie HELPFUL WIMBLEDON WEBSITES Love Wimbledon WIMBLEDON, PUTNEY, BALHAM AND STREATHAM www.lovewimbledon.org London Borough of Merton Julie Eltham www.merton.gov.uk Regional Director, The Athena Network Citizen’s Advice Bureau t: @athenaSWlondon www.nacab.org.uk f: TheAthenaNetworkSurrey&SWLondon Merton Chamber of Commerce 07890 523030 www.mertonchamber.co.uk e: julie.eltham@theathenanetwork.com Wimbledon Town Centre www.wimbledontowncentre.co.uk w: theathenanetwork.co.uk/julieeltham Wimbledon Civic Forum www.wimbledoncivicforum.org.uk Wimbledon Society www.wimbledonmuseum.org.uk Wimbledon Community Centre www.wimbledoncommunity.org.uk Volunteer Centre Merton www.volunteercentremerton.org.uk Learning & Skills Council www.lsc.gov.uk Charity Commission www.charitycommission.gov.uk Wimbledon Music Diary www.wimbledonmusicdiary.com Wimbledon Choral Society www.wimbledon-choral.org.uk Local Police/Neighbourhood Watch www.met.police.uk/saferneighbourhoods The Wimbledon Guild www.wimbledonguild.co.uk Care Connect www.merton.gov.uk/living/care/careconnect www.centrecourtshopping.co.uk

IMPORTANT NUMBERS Wimbledon Police St George’s Hospital 020 8947 1212 or (999) 020 8672 1255 Merton Council Kingston Hospital 020 8274 4901 020 8546 7711 NHS DIRECT National Rail 0845 4647 08457 484950 48 autumn 19 | darlingmagazine.co.uk 44

feb-march 2012 | darlingmagazine.co.uk

Playing an ace on your partner’s king may cause acute embarrassment or, on occasion, lead you to be hailed as a hero…

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* Nicholas & Steele 78S KJ2 Durham Rd Tel: 07947 011879 H 43

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1S NB 2D NB 2S NB 4S North-South bid confidently to their 4♠ game contract and West led top-of-a-sequence K♥.

East can deduce that West holds KQ♥ and probably J♥. These cards, together with East’s two aces, seem to account to for all the high cards which East-West hold. East must plan to make four tricks to defeat the contract, but what can they be?

Two hearts tricks and A♦ are easy to make but, for a fourth trick, East will need to trump a diamond. How can that be achieved before declarer draws trumps? The solution is entirely in East’s hands and is really rather beautiful: East overtakes West’s K♥ with her A♥ and cashes A♦.

She then returns a heart to West. On winning, West must conclude that for East to play her A♦ is the action either of a mad-woman, or of a player with only one diamond. Assuming that she trusts her partner, West therefore plays another diamond and East trumps. Contract defeated. aceoftrumps.com

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pole.co.uk darlingmagazine.co.uk |autumn 19

49

Late night Lu-Ma every 1st friday of the month

Enjoy a delicious set menu with organic selection of wines, beers, booking essential Detox food packages, cookery classes and take away food available.

Opening times Mon to Fri 7.00am - 4.30pm (kitchen closes 3.30pm) Sat & Sun 8.00am - 4.30pm (kitchen closes 3.30pm) 43 Worple Road Wimbledon SW19 4JZ Call 020 8296 6714

lu-ma.co.uk VOTED ‘BEST RESTAURANT IN MERTON’

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on the scene

With Editor Karine Torr

LADY WIMBLEDON TAKING SUMMER

BY STORM WITH PARTIES AT HOTEL DU VIN AND DOG & FOX

Malory Arif Allen, Philippa Tuaine, Lady W, Nimal Fernando & Claire Atallah

Darling Editor with Love Ball organiser Lady W

Cllr Ed Gretton, Sandy Gretton, Mayor of Merton Cllr Janice Howard & Deputy Mayor Cllr Ed Foley

Mario Fionda

Hatty Keane

Zara Harvey & Hotel du Vin GM, Emma Dore

Adrian Mills & Carole Simb Hel & Mel Darling Style Bloggers, ‘angel’, Lady Wimbledon & Flora Firth

SJ Burnett & Ashley Buckenham

Clare Alder, Brendan McCarthy, & Olivia Hartland-Robbins Bhavi Kanadia, Nita Sharma, Editor Karine Torr & Andrew Morris

Surrey Cricketers

A FUN ‘LOVE WIMBLEDON’ NETWORKING LUNCH HOSTED AT WAHACA RESTAURANT

Claire Campbell, Marijana Molnar, Clare Chappell & Helen Harris TRENDY BARBER ‘HEADCASE’ OPENS ON RIDGWAY

Moncef and Mona Ennafii (owners), James Aldcroft & Alex Volga

NEW OPENING IN THE VILLAGE FOR PORCELAIN TILES

Katie Owen, Susanne Ollig & Genevieve Etienne-Farrell

Hicks Gallery’s Alice Hicks with Artist Caroline Yates

Monika Mlynarczyk & Sojoud Zand

Mirella Luchetta, Margo Lefebvre, Kristina Karlsen & Anne-Sophie Paul

NEWLIFE AESTHETICS TURNS 1!

‘SCULPTING THE ELEPHANT’ LAUNCH Author, Syliva Vetta with local publisher, Katie Isbester, CEO of Claret Dana Dobson & Roxi Niccolls

Charlie Carter, Dr Don Othoro and owner Mo Ashraf

ROBINA MORGAN LAUNCHES HER NEW HANDBAG RANGE ‘MORGAN’ AT LU-MA CAFÉ

Camilla Peters, Dorota Abbott & Jacqui Torr

Su e

Robina & Maria Jessiman

Gordon Jessiman & Kirsty Asher Chapman

Amanda Jones & Robina Roger Morgan, Robina & designer Christophe Cohen

FUN WITH FRIENDS AT THE ANNUAL WIMBLEDON VILLAGE BUSINESS ASSOCIATION SUMMER DRINKS PARTY - ROSE & CROWN

Annette Wiik and Hilary Lewis-Ruttley

Joseph & Eva Azagury

Lucy Hatley, Debs Taylor and Danielle McDowell

Asif & Francis Malik

Anthony Graham, Anthony Ashton, Diane Neil Mills & Clive Hilton

Kimberley Salmassian & Simon Greig Dar-

Emma Lockett-Smith & Vanessa Williams-Carty

Sarah Houston Cormack Rawson & the amazing Theo Theodoris

Rupert Ford & Paul De Havilland

MP Stephen Hammond and Mayor Cllr Janice Howard

SPOTTED AT THE FABULOUS ANNUAL WIMBLEDON TENNIS WINDOWS AWARDS

Finalists Day True,Tony & Hayley Robson, Roisin Lawlor & Erica Husain

Gerhard Jacobs, Johnny Perkins, first place Winners from Thai Tho Nicky & Adrian Mills, Kevin Hughes MC from Heart Radio & Harrison Kerr AELTC Vessy Haygarova & Martina Pokorna

DENTAL ROOMS HOST THEIR BIG SUMMER EVENT

Dev & Angela Patel Dental Rooms Wimbledon Village team

ART EXHIBITION -THE MEWS

MYRAYNESPARK FESTIVAL SHOWING AI WEIWEI’S FILM ‘HUMAN FLOW’

Festival organisers: Nick and Kerry Coke & Tom Underwood

Amy Phillips & Eleanor Harrison OBE

Artist Donna Aragi

ROSIE Q’S LATEST ART EXIBITIONS HELD IN ‘THE SHED’

Tom Carpenter, Debbie Knight, James & Artist, Daisy Simpson HOME INSTEAD HOLD DEMENTIA EVENT

Dorota Rossi, Wanda Fryzicka, Artist Su Noujaim, Lois Price & Mark Nixon

Mandy Irons & Rachel Victory

WINNER ON BBC ‘THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT’ Von Sy, founder of Wimbledon business, Nimble

2016Jefferies | darlingmagazine.co.uk Expert54 Teepajune-aug Snow with Clare

W HOT WHAT'S HAT'SHHOT OT W HAT'S WHAT'S HOT WHAT'S HOT

HOTEL DU VIN HOST THE ANNUAL MERTON CHAMBER OF COMMERCE AGM

Jennifer Denning

Julien Upson, Mayor of Merton, Cllr Janice Howard & MCC Chair, John Merriman

Dave Dadds, Charlotte Broadbent & Pietro Palladino

BALLOONS AND FIZZ AT COOMBE RESIDENTIAL NSPCC EVENT

Sally and Sam Hodgson from Izzytea Ltd

C C M C C M Y

M M C Y CM

WIMBLEDON LIGHT OPERA SOCIETY CELEBRATE THEIR 90TH BIRTHDAY!

Y Y M

CM Hani Madanat and the Coombe Res team welcomes MY CM YCM MY Lloyd Butcher from NSPCC CY

MY MY CM CY CMY CY CY MY CMY K CMY CY CMY K K CMY K K

Janet Huckle, Chris Irving, Connie Nash, Alice Hudson Sheaf, Victoria Warne, Sean Anderson, Caroline Steer, Abbie Minnock

Alex Naylor

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@ladywimbledon darlingmagazine.co.uk | june-aug 2016 55 @ladywimbledon

WHAT’S WHAT’S ON ON WHAT’S ON diary

NEW NEWWIMBLEDON WIMBLEDONTHEATRE THEATRE WIMBLEDON WIMBLEDONBOOKFEST BOOKFEST LOVE LOVEWIMBLEDON WIMBLEDON‘MARKETS ‘MARKETS CalenderGirls Girls1-5 1-5Oct Oct OnWimbledon WimbledonCommon Common3-13 3-13Oct Oct Calender ON ONTHE THEPIAZZA’ PIAZZA’TOWN TOWNCENTRE CENTRE On PriscillaQueen Queenofofthe theDesert Desert7-12 7-12Oct Oct Priscilla wimbledonbookfest.org 7/8Sept, Sept,5/6 5/6Oct, Oct,2/3 2/3Nov NovXmas XmasMarMar- wimbledonbookfest.org 7/8 NEW WIMBLEDON THEATRE WIMBLEDON BOOKFEST LOVE WIMBLEDON ‘MARKETS WLOSWizard WizardofofOzOz23-26 23-26Oct Oct WLOS RICHMOND RICHMONDLITERARY LITERARY kets ketsWeek Week1 1Nov Nov23/24 23/24Week Week2 2Dec Dec Calender Girls 1-5 Oct On Wimbledon Common 3-13 Oct ON THE PIAZZA’ TOWN CENTRE Howthe theGrinch GrinchStole StoleXmas Xmas1-3 1-3Nov Nov How FESTIVAL1-24 1-24Nov Nov 30/1Week 30/1Week3 37/8 7/8Dec DecWeek Week4 413/14/15 13/14/15 FESTIVAL Priscilla Queen of the Desert 7-12 Oct wimbledonbookfest.org 7/8 Sept, 5/6 Oct, 2/3 Nov Xmas MarAnnie11-16 11-16Nov Nov Annie @richmondlitfest Dec DecWeek Week5 520/21/22 20/21/22Dec DecArts ArtsEvent Event @richmondlitfest WLOS Wizard of Oz 23-26 Oct RICHMOND LITERARY kets Week 1 Nov 23/24 Week 2 Dec AnInspector InspectorCalls Calls26-30 26-30Nov Nov An 21/22Sept.

21/22Sept.Times Times11am-6pm.

11am-6pm.Street Street WIMBLEDON MUSIC How the Grinch Stole Xmas 1-3 Nov FESTIVAL MUSIC 1-24 Nov 30/1Week 3 7/8 Dec Week 4 13/14/15 WIMBLEDON PantoCinderella Cinderella7 7Dec-Jan Dec-Jan5 5 Panto food, food,art, art,crafts, crafts,clothes clothesand andunique uniquegifts. gifts. FESTIVAL FESTIVAL 9-24 9-24 Nov Nov Annie 11-16 Nov @richmondlitfest Dec Week 5 20/21/22 Dec Arts Event atgtickets.com atgtickets.com Winter WinterWonderland Wonderland1 1Dec Dec12pm-7pm.

12pm-7pm. wimbledonmusicfestival.co.uk wimbledonmusicfestival.co.uk An Inspector Calls 26-30 Nov 21/22Sept. Times 11am-6pm. Street WIMBLEDON MUSIC lovewimbledon.org lovewimbledon.org Panto Cinderella 7 Dec-Jan 5 food, art, crafts, clothes and unique gifts. INTERNATIONAL WAGGYWALK WALKDAY DAY- 28 - 28Sept Sept INTERNATIONAL ARTEXHIEXHI- WAGGY FESTIVAL 9-24ART Nov MERTON MERTONARTS ARTSFESTIVAL FESTIVAL atgtickets.com Winter Wonderland 1 Dec 12pm-7pm. BITION WIMBLEDON GUILD Start WIMBLEDON GUILD Start atat BITION ‘SHADES ‘SHADES OF OF A A CITY’ CITY’ wimbledonmusicfestival.co.uk 21/22 21/22& &28/29 28/29Sept SeptArtists’ Artists’Open Open lovewimbledon.org HandininHand Handpub, pub,4km 4km& &7km.

7km.

AtAtHillside HillsideChurch, Church,Worple WorpleRd, Rd,daily daily Hand Houses Houses& &Studios.

Studios.Free Freeentry. entry.

WAGGY WALK DAY - 28 Sept INTERNATIONAL wimbledonguild.co.uk MERTON ARTS FESTIVAL 11am-5pm 11am-5pm 21-29 21-29Sept Sept ART EXHI-wimbledonguild.co.uk 11am-5pm 11am-5pm mertonartsfestival.org mertonartsfestival.org WIMBLEDON GUILD Start at BITION ‘SHADES OF A CITY’ 21/22 & 28/29 Sept Artists’ Open OPEN OPEN HOMES HOMES SURREY SURREY FAIR FAIR OPEN OPENSTABLES STABLESDAY DAY9 9Sept Sept BACK BACK TO TOBUSINESS BUSINESS DAY9 9Oct Octdaily Hand in Hand pub, 4km & 7km.

At Hillside Church,DAY Worple Rd, Houses & Studios. Free entry.

ATSANDOWN, SANDOWN,ESHER ESHER10-12 10-12Oct Oct AT ononWimbledon WimbledonCommon Commonfrom from AtAtRoehampton Roehampton University University with with wimbledonguild.co.uk 11am-5pm 21-29 Sept 11am-5pm mertonartsfestival.org surrey-homes.co.uk/open-house 10:30am 10:30amonwards. onwards.Free Freeentry. entry. lunch. lunch.Info Infoononreallyhelpfulclub.com reallyhelpfulclub.com surrey-homes.co.uk/open-house OPEN HOMES SURREY FAIR OPEN STABLES DAY 9 Sept BACK TO BUSINESS DAY 9 Oct AT SANDOWN, ESHER 10-12 Oct on Wimbledon Common from At Roehampton University with surrey-homes.co.uk/open-house 10:30am onwards. Free entry. lunch. Info on reallyhelpfulclub.com

DAVID LLOYD

CLUB NEWS BattleBox New this autumn at David Lloyd Raynes Park

L

ooking to take your training the next level. Love training outdoors?

Love pushing yourself to, and over the wall? David Lloyd Raynes Park is investing in a brand new outdoor training studio with group classes starting in September.

Battlebox offers 4 different class types all designed to focus on a particular training style.

Groups will be up to 16 people all with a similar goal in mind.

Athletic – develop your speed, power and coordination

Warrior – Total body workout combining obstacle training with agility Strong – a high intensity class, building strength Play - This one is all about fun for families.

Let the games begin.

All these workouts take place outside, come rain or shine.

Interested and want to find out more?

Drop us an email via raynespark@davidlloyd.co.uk for more information on membership options or phone us on 0208 543 8020

H

‘YOGA ‘YOGAFOR FORSPORTS’ CLASSES SPORTS’ CLASSES

Top reasons by Annette Wiik

The reason is that yoga practice keeps your body working for you! It allows for greater freedom of movement, increased circulation flow while also building up strength.

In a Yoga for Sports class you will practise fluid and muscular movements while caring for spine and joints. You will also work on building symmetry on both sides of your body and stretch tight muscles, while improving overall balance and sharpening your concentration. Breath awareness will help you find a space of calmness within.

Attend Yoga for Sports classes to fine-tune the balance between power and relaxation! Notice how freely you can move next time you are out enjoying your favourite sport.

Top reasons by Annette Wiik

H

ave you noticed how many professional athletes from a variety of sports such as tennis, golf and horse riding are doing downward-facing dog, warrior poses or find themselves balancing in a tree pose?

“I can feel the benefits in terms of flexibility, strength and wellbeing. I thoroughly recommend giving Annette’s classes a try” Clare Wood, Tennis Player Annette teaches Yoga for Sports classes at The Wimbledon Club. All levels welcome, group and 1 to 1 sessions available. n Annette Wiik Yoga | 07789 175 481 annettewiikyoga@gmail.com | annettewiikyoga.com instagram.com/annettewiikyoga

A life’s purpose for breast cancer Local resident, Amanda Hobson Jones honours her daughter

M

y beautiful daughter, Becs, in this precious photo with me, died of breast cancer at the age of 33 in 2003. She was the youngest of my three children. Her loss changed the lives of our family and we were determined that we would work to keep her memory alive in whatever way we could.

For me, in the 16 years since Becs died, this has meant fundraising, campaigning and raising awareness for the charity ‘Breast Cancer Now’.

Its four research centres over the country are dedicated to research into breast cancer, its

Amanda and Becs

early diagnosis, new targeted treatments and the ongoing care of those diagnosed with the disease.

Had Becs been diagnosed today, because of the amazing advances made by Breast Cancer Now’s researchers since her death, these advances would have meant that she would be alive today. More than 55,000 women each year are diagnosed with breast cancer. However, huge numbers, rising annually, of those, survive to enjoy healthy lives. Breast Cancer Now’s aim is that, by 2050, every woman diagnosed with breast cancer will live and live well. n

breastcancernow.org

Love

Honour &

DISOBEY

By Kate Greenhalgh

B

ombshell. My daughter has said she is having a No Hats wedding. If I’d known, when I first took her in my motherly arms, that it would come to this, well...words fail me. My whole life has been building up to what delightful millinery I would wear at my daughters’ weddings.

But apart from this crushing disappointment, which I am totally ok with, the nuptial planning has gone very well. With minimal gnashing of teeth we’ve successfully booked a venue, caterer, florist, bride’s frock, DJ, vodka luge instead of cake (more fashionable), insurance; and the cat hotel for when the newly-weds are on honeymoon, (or rather, mini-moon. Young people have to get back to the office, as well as cats these days.) If it moves, we have booked it - in competition with other people who have a wedding that weekend. Peace be upon the family who nipped in ahead, and block-booked our most convenient local hotel for their guests to wallow in. We now have a charabanc of people from Swansea to accommodate somehow - DID THEY THINK OF THIS? Namaste. The only thing we have not booked is the weather, but I’m working with God and the Met Office on this. Who both assure me they are listening.

And apart from not wearing a hat, my main 58 autumn 19 | darlingmagazine.co.uk

role is to deliver the ‘parent of the bride’ speech, which has been pushed back to 10pm now. Various obvious pitfalls present themselves with this arrangement, but cometh the hour, cometh the mother. I absolutely will not embarrass my daughter with a rambling, impromptu, cringe-inducing speech, even though it will have been a long and emotional day by 10pm. Trust me.

Along with hatlessness, the other profound shock has been that grooms wear their shirts untucked these days. I remember when leaving one button of a waistcoat undone was the height of insurgency. And my daughter hopes that her Beloved presents himself at the town hall with exactly 9 days of stubble, in order to look his most undeniably handsome.

Whatever next? I thought the whole point is that a groom looks groomed. They are not referred to as the Bride and Unshaven Scruff, are they? Call me a slave to orthodoxy, but in my day, weddings were all about churches, vicars, hymns, thermographed invitations from the parents which you could run your thumb over, punch-ups in the car park, a haze of cigarette smoke, drunken uncles standing on pianos, blokey speeches laced with appallingly inappropriate sexual anecdotes... ...and hats. n

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