Darling Magazine North Surrey - Autumn 2019

AUTUMN 19 PRICELESS

Inspiring Chemmy Alcott GIRLS WHO CAN With Elmbridge Council Designer Lauren Atkins Dallaglio’s Kids EMS with Sofie

BACK TO SCHOOL LGBTQ+ ISSUE NEED A NANNY?

Cissy Adamou 5 Years On

PLUS The Art of Scam Dark Romance Pre-Nups & Anti Nups Imposter Syndrome?

Letters to a poet no 14

Unspoken

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editor’s letter Dear Darling Reader It’s always with a tinge of regret that I put away the pretty sundress, the shorts and the suntan cream, but fairly quickly I start to get excited about the new season. Summer might be over, but autumn is the time for new beginnings and there’s plenty of tales of fresh starts in the latest edition of Darling.

Cover Girl Chemmy Alcott Photography Anna Kunst annakunstphotography.com

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Veri This month’s cover-girl, Chemmy Alcott, is Britain’s most famous skier Backback,Minismooth effect leather wi ever, and after a series of death-defying crashes had to carve a new adjustable strap role for herself outside of Olympic competition. Another remarkable £18 new start was told to me by the inspiring young winner of theSENTI Pride home of fragrance, The Orchid; of Britain award, Cissy Adamou, this budding journalist has bounced beautifully hand-crafted fragrance for your home, back from a heart transplant, kidney transplant, brain and spine £150 tumours. Watch out for Cissy writing the headlines, rather than being MATCHES FASHIO in the headlines, in the future.

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Publisher Darling Magazine UK Karine Torr Editors Karine Torr & Marja-Leena Toseland 020 8739 0059

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Bend In The Rive Elsewhere if you’re looking for an autumn make-over, Sofie Husfeldt’sspiralled gold-verme ear cuff, £24 electrical muscle stimulation and Barbara Currie’s yoga training offer energising body solutions, while Hel & Mel’s fairy-tale fashion pages Lily & Lionel are good reasons to get excited about the season’s romantic trend. IRIS Rae Vintage Bloom CMY

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Finally, if there’s one fresh start we all should embrace, it is taking personal responsibility for cleaning up our environment. ‘Green champion’, Laurence Wells, tells us how we can manage the problems FRIARWOOD 2017 of plastic pollution in our day to day lives – a gentle revolution.

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northsurrey@darlingmagazine.co.uk

Here’s to new beginnings!

Contributors Holly Candlish Kate Greenhalgh Ali Clifford

Holly

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Darling Wimbledon Karine Torr 020 8739 0059 Darling Richmond & Kingston Marja-Leena Toseland 07802 949836 Design Director Hermina Williams design@herminawilliams.com Website Design nicewaymedia.com Printer Direct Colour mark@directcolour.com Distribution Right Distribution Whilst every care has been taken to ensure that the data in this publication is accurate, neither the publisher nor its editorial contributors can accept, and hereby disclaim, any liability to any party to loss or damage caused by errors or omissions resulting from negligence, accident or any other cause. Darling Magazine does not officially endorse any advertising material included within this publication. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form – electronic, recording or otherwise, without prior permission from the publisher.

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Features Editor, Holly Candlish | hollycandlish@gmail.comladywimbledon.com northsurrey@darlingmagazine.co .uk @ladywimbledon CONTENTS 4 Chemmy Alcott on the challenges of parenthood 7 Autumn’s dark romantic side in our fashion tips 9 The talented Lauren Atkins 10 Cissy five years on from Pride of Britain 11 School’s back with our guide to the best 15 Lawrence gets kids going at RugbyWorks 17 Julie Derbyshire & the art of scam 18 Shamim Sarif on teaching LGBTQ+ inclusion 20 Get your muscles excited with Sofie’s EMS 23 Best domestic support with Kerry Barnham 24 Elmbridge Council’s girls clean up 25 Barbara’s elixir of youth 27 Suffering from Imposter Syndrome?

29 Green champion, Laurence Wells comes clean 30 Darling Hotspot collection points 31 Adrian’s Buy to Let advice 32 Safeguarding wealth before your nuptials 34 Darling Diary picks for a busy Autumn 35 Back to Business with Really Helpful Club 36 Out and about in the Darling’s social pages 42 Kate’s wedding fever continues… darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 2019

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Chemmy goes off-piste

Not content with being the UK’s most successful skier, Chemmy Alcott addresses the even greater challenge of parenthood in a series of ‘no holds barred’ podcasts – Motherhood Mayhem, Madness & Meaningfulness.

She talks to Darling’s Holly Candlish about her thoughts on family, career and what happens when her small boys want to hurtle down mountains at 80mph, just like Mummy

A

fter competing in four Olympic games and as a regular presenter on Ski Sunday, seventime British Ski Champion Chemmy Alcott is Britain’s most famous skier ever. With over 40 broken bones in her 20-year alpine career, she was dubbed the ‘bionic woman’ after a horrific double fracture left her needing a metal plate in her right leg, while a further break in 2013 led to her retirement from ski racing. Since that disappointment, Chemmy, with characteristic enthusiasm, has thrown herself into work and family – and, where possible, she combines the two.

Mentoring, coaching and broadcasting run alongside a hectic family life with husband, downhill ski racer, Dougie Crawford, who she describes as an incredible co-parent. Together, they are coaching in Les Deux Alps, accompanied by sons Lockie and Cooper. The room is busy with children, noisy and excited after launching themselves on skis onto a, frankly terrifying, giant airbag. Chemmy seems happy and fulfilled as she looks out at the gondola that transports the kids up to the year-round snow on the glacier.

Firstly, where does the name Chemmy come from?

My real name is Chimene. When my mother was alive, she was a model and she was often compared to Sophia Loren, so she thought she’d call me after a character she played in El Cid. Ironically, I popped out looking just like my Dad, with blonde hair and blue eyes, and not looking anything like Mum - or Sophia Loren.

What made you want to share your thoughts on motherhood with other mums?

Before I jump into anything, I want to be educated about it, and the biggest thing a human jumps into in life is parenthood and I find too many people glorify it – especially labour. I wanted to know what it felt like, the hardships, how the pain was going to feel and what to expect. I wanted to learn from realistic experiences, and I couldn’t really find that when I was pregnant.

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autumn 19 | darlingmagazine.co.uk

inspiring woman

In your podcast series, you describe your own experiences of labour, sleepless nights and feeding difficulties. What can expectant mothers and new mums hope to learn from them?

They are a mixture of shock - there is nothing I won’t talk about - and they are educational: I talk to professionals, share my experiences, and talk to other mums. Six days after the birth of Cooper I fell to the floor shaking and I genuinely thought I was having a stroke, but it turned out that this wasn’t uncommon if you’ve lost a lot of blood during a quick labour. I was petrified. I want to share this type of experience so that mums know they’re not alone. I really want to host a discussion on miscarriage, I haven’t been through it, but plenty of people have and it’s almost a taboo subject which I’d like to discuss honestly.

Has the transition from athlete and working woman to motherhood been easy for you?

No, it was really difficult. For 20 years I was defined as ‘Chemmy the ski racer’. When you’re an athlete it’s all about you, it’s a really selfish existence. You wake up every day and think ‘what can I do to make myself faster, fitter, stronger?’ Then you become a mother and you’re not even second place, you’re not even on the radar, it’s all about making an incredible little person. After my retirement, I was so happy to have a chance to start the next part of my life, especially when we tried for 18 months to get pregnant. Recently, I’m starting to make time for myself again, I think a massive part of maternal mental health is getting out there and doing something for you.

you have to be prepared to make mistakes, push yourself to the limit and face your fears again and again. For a woman, skiing is a fabulous opportunity to become the best version of yourself.

What does the future hold for you?

My passion is always going to be skiing so I look forward to working on Ski Sunday and continuing to do loads of coaching and mentoring with our company CDC Performance. Next up I am working on a new podcast series called Cold Coffee Club UK which includes dads in the parenting conversation too. And yes, it’s a chance to enjoy a good coffee. n Listen to Chemmy on Soundcloud. Chemmy Alcott: Motherhood - Mayhem, Madness & Meaningfulness

As a mother of two boys, would you encourage them to take up skiing or a dangerous sport?

The boys have got our genes. Our eldest son Lockie, aged 2 ½, is a nutter. He saw the luge (a terrifying ice slide) and nearly had a tantrum when I wouldn’t let him go on it. I tried to scare him by taking him to the top but that only made him want to do it more – he’s completely fearless. I think it’s a great attribute in a child and I will be encouraging him to learn by doing things. I don’t want a ‘manufactured’ kid.

What would you say to young women starting their ski careers?

Skiing is the most incredible sport in the world, darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

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design stories

Side By Side With Emmeline Pankhurst

Businesswoman of the year Lauren Atkins reveals a new chapter

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always fall in love with my projects and can visualise what I want to achieve way in advance. My design inspiration has always evolved from the individuality of each building or its site, its history and provenance.

I am often inspired by the strangest things. At the Apple Apartments, the redevelopment of the former Beatles’ Apple records HQ in Baker Street, my inspiration for a simple pop art style came from a pair of concept lamps that sculptor Scott Eaton made for the development.

I have a little black book of craftsmen: artists, artisans, and landscapers, unencumbered by trends or a signature style.

Keith Haynes developed vinyl art for the Apple Apartments, Author Janet Hogarth contributed novels for the book box art light displays at The Book House. Our restoration and conversion in Wandsworth, and Christian Coop created ink sketches of the local area for our redevelopment of The Metalworks in Clapham Old Town, where designer William Bainbridge Reynolds had created gates to St Paul’s Cathedral. The history of The Tavistock in Covent Garden revealed it was a former meeting place for the Suffragettes. To have my name printed in an article in The Times, next to Emmeline Pankhurst was certainly a ‘moment’ in my career, and that heritage paid homage to some brutalist art in the apartments we created.

in international business, my main aim was to double the size of the company in 10 years.

It has almost trebled in that time and now has a growing investment portfolio of over 600 commercial and residential properties and a thriving development division.

When I joined the family property company, The Malins Group, after a career

Contact Lauren at The Malins Design Studio: malinsgroup.co.uk 01932 356043

Part of our business includes collections of boutique residential developments for sale in prime London, with interiors by our own design studio, plus major projects for private clients in Surrey. This was the catalyst to launch a new company division, The Malins Design Studio. My new business partner, Sarah Gibbon, is a former Heron International prime property and interiors expert.

Every home and every client has a highly individual narrative. Our talent lies in writing an authentic design story that reflects their lives. n

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Carol Vorderman presenting Cissy with her ‘Pride of Britain’ Award promo

Pride of Britain Winner

Cecilia Adamou 5 Years On

Darling’s Holly Candlish follows her story Five years ago, Darling Magazine featured the inspiring story of Cecilia Adamou, recipient of a Daily Mirror’s Pride of Britain award for her incredible bravery. The young schoolgirl survived a heart transplant, kidney transplant, brain and spine tumours and after being told she would spend the rest of her life in a wheelchair, learnt to walk again. Achieving the impossible is in Cissy’s DNA. Today, she’s set herself another huge challenge: to raise £150,000 for the Evelina hospital as a thank you to the ‘lesser known’ London children’s hospital for saving her life. Here, Cissy recounts her compelling story.

My journey with Evelina London began in my mother’s womb. I was diagnosed, at her 20-week scan, with a complex congenital heart condition and referred to Evelina London’s children’s heart unit. I came out kicking and screaming, ready to fight whatever battles lay ahead and I needed plenty of fight when I underwent open heart surgery at 6 months and then again at 2 years old.

to keep up with my friends and had to start missing out on my favourite activities. It was then that my doctor decided it was time for me to have another heart operation. In April 2010, I entered the Evelina London with high expectations of a fixed heart and a new life “just like everybody else”. This is when my life changed forever.

At first it seemed the surgery had gone well, but my weak heart couldn’t cope with the changes and I had a cardiac arrest. The damage was irreversible, and I went into end-stage heart failure almost immediately. The outcome of the surgery was unprecedented and the Intensive Care Unit staff at Evelina London worked tirelessly, day and night, to keep me from slipping away. Every evening, my parents

Following those early operations, I lived happily and healthily - supported by the Evelina London. We moved to Cobham where I started at Notre Dame Prep and quickly settled in, finding my place in the lovely girls’ school.

However, as I reached pre-teens, my health began to deteriorate. I started struggling

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autumn 19 | darlingmagazine.co.uk

Cissy’s nurse Anita

promo would leave my bedside for a sleepless night, not knowing whether I would be alive by morning time.

Eventually, after 4 months, it was decided that a heart transplant was the only option. I received my new heart after a month at the top of the UK transplant waiting list. My recovery wasn’t straightforward, however, and I remained on ICU for three months, making it home just before Christmas. My prolonged illness had taken its toll on my body, my kidneys were failing and my feet had suffered extensive nerve damage. I completely lost my ability to walk, was wheelchair bound and spent the next year and a half on dialysis.

Receiving an unprecedented amount of support from my Notre Dame ‘family’ throughout my time in hospital, they welcomed me back to school with open arms after nearly a year away. Now a member of the senior school, they allowed me to slowly integrate and settle back into school life, supporting me as I missed school, accommodating my wheelchair and being patient with my needs.

On the opening day of the London 2012 Olympics, I was blessed with a second gift of life: a kidney transplant courtesy of my mum. My life perked up quite considerably after that. My health sky-rocketed and after years of physio and major, extremely painful surgery on my feet, I took my first steps in 2013 after being told that I would spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair.

In 2014, during our first holiday since my ordeal began, in Turkey, I was rushed into hospital with unimaginable head pain, unable to keep my

Alesha Dixon and Amanda Holden with Cissy on Awards night

anti-rejection medicine down. I was told, rather abruptly, by a doctor with lousy English and poor bedside manner, that I had a brain tumour.

Shocked and terrified, I was flown back to Evelina London by air ambulance, and gruelling treatment began for an extremely rare form of tumour (I had 4 in total) caused by the very immunosuppressant drugs keeping me alive.

With no known existing treatment, Evelina London once again left no stone unturned trying to save my life, and, thankfully, treatment worked.

Now, 5 years later, I am at university studying to be a journalist, loving life and beyond grateful for the one I’ve been given. As the hospital that saved my life celebrates its 150th birthday, I’ve set myself the task to raise £150,000, with a fundraising Disco at Notre Dame School as the highlight. n

Get your dancing shoes on and join me there!

For more information and ways to support #ThankYouFor150Evelina please contact my mum, jowilson1@btinternet.com or cecilia.adamou@hotmail.com Cissy and Jo recently in Corfu

darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

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BE SO GOOD THEY CAN’T IGNORE YOU

back-to-school – Steve Martin, actor

Darling Editor Marja-Leena Toseland shares her experience as a parent of three The hunt for finding the best school for your child starts in earnest again at the start of a new academic year.

It’s worth getting those Open Days in your diary as early as possible and to remember to visit the schools on your shortlist with an open mind.

The opinions of our friends and family, not to mention the school gate gossip, play a big part in the choices parents make when it comes to choosing a school. Take that advice with you and prepare a whole

lot of questions for the headteacher and staff, and don’t forget to chat to the current pupils.

No two schools are the same.

Schools can approach the same thing in such dramatically opposing ways and yet all (potentially) get it right. Some schools believe in setting children in as many subjects as possible; others opt for mixed ability all the way. Even headteachers themselves are a very diverse bunch with their strengths

and weaknesses, not to mention passions, influencing the school they rule. Schools naturally pride themselves with excellent academic results and sporting achievements but it’s important to look beyond the obvious; think inclusivity in sports, music, drama and art, do you want religious traditions to play a part or is diversity important to you?

Here are some of the finest schools in our area to get your started on your search.

FELTONFLEET SCHOOL: Co-ed day and flexi-boarding prep school for ages 3 to 13 Situated on a 25 acre site of landscaped grounds with exceptional facilities. What makes Feltonfleet the first choice school for so many parents is the integrity and practice of their core belief that every individual really matters, underpinned by a values-driven ethos and a strong sense of community. In summer 2019, in response to overwhelming demand for places, work began on development of the Pre-Prep in addition to further investment in enhanced facilities for Science, Technology and Music. Next OPEN MORNING: Saturday 28th September 9.30am – 11.30am. Visits welcome at other times by appointment.

Byfleet Road, Cobham, Surrey KT11 1DR | feltonfleet.co.uk | admissions@feltonfleet.co.uk MANOR HOUSE SCHOOL: A selective independent day school for girls aged 4 to 16 with co-educational nursery Founded in 1920, Manor House provides girls with a happy and nurturing smaller school environment, encouraging excellent academic results through an individual approach to teaching and learning. Increasingly enjoying high levels of success in sport, pupils also benefit from the many opportunities in the creative and expressive arts, with additional music, singing and drama lessons a popular choice. An extensive co-curricular enrichment programme provides c. 50 clubs and activities. Academic, Art, Drama, Music and Sport scholarships are awarded at Year 7 and new Year 3 scholarships, for Academic and Music, are effective from September 2020. (apply by mid-November for September entry). OPEN MORNINGS: 5 October at 10am. February and May 2020.

Manor House Lane, Great Bookham, Leatherhead KT23 4EN | manorhouseschool.org | admissions@manorhouseschool.org

PARKSIDE SCHOOL Boys aged 7 to 13 Parkside’s high educational standards and pastoral care, its sporting excellence and forward-thinking approach are all key ingredients to bringing out the best in every child under our guidance, so that they can achieve their full potential and become the best version of themselves. The school aims to develop the values of respect, tolerance and compassion whilst encouraging self-reliance and independence.

Parkside prepares pupils for their future schools and life in the wider world by developing them as well-rounded individuals.

OPEN MORNING: Friday 27 September.

To register email office@parkside-school.co.uk The Manor, Stoke D’Abernon, Cobham KT11 3PX | parkside-school.co.uk

schools promo

ROWAN PREPARATORY SCHOOL: An independent day prep school for girls aged 2 to 11 years Rowan is a highly successful prep school with a focus on academic achievement for all, where all girls progress to exceptional senior schools of their choice.

Excellent sport facilities with a ‘sport for all’ approach and a highly developed Arts programme spanning both creative and performing arts. A great first choice school as recognised by the ISI, The Good Schools Guide and the local community; as well as being shortlisted for Prep School of the Year by the Independent Schools Awards. OPEN MORNING: Friday 4 October 2019, 9.30am-11.30am

41 Gordon Rd, Claygate, Esher KT10 0PJ | rowanprepschool.co.uk | admissions@rowanprepschool.co.uk

SHREWSBURY HOUSE SCHOOL: Boys aged 7 to 13 An outstanding IAPS independent Prep school for boys, with a superb academic record, committed staff, outstanding sporting facilities, small class sizes and dedicated pastoral care where every boy has the opportunity to fulfil his potential. Shrewsbury House School has a national reputation for success in scholarships and awards to top day and boarding senior schools at 13+.

The school’s OPEN MORNING will take place on Saturday 28th September from 9.30am – 11.30am. Children are encouraged to attend the Open Morning too.

107 Ditton Road, Surbiton, Surrey KT6 6RL | shrewsburyhouse.net | registrar@shstrust.net

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THE WORLD NEEDS NEW THINKING. GET READY. COME AND SEE CURIOSITY AT WORK. At ACS we prepare our students to be ready.

Ready to ask new questions and demand better answers. Ready to innovate and create.

Ready for cultures that crossover, boundaries that blur and ideas that interconnect. We ready them for a world that demands a new kind of learning – and a new kind of citizen.

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Rugby A

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isn’t just for muddy fields

s we head into another school year, our thoughts focus on the milestones - SATs, GCSE’s and A Levels. But for many young people in the area, education plays a different role.

For a variety of reasons, not all teenager’s needs can be met within the traditional mainstream school setting.

This can manifest itself in a number of ways leading to exclusion, where young people are placed in Alternative Provision (AP) schools. For many, AP suits their needs more effectively, but some teenagers require more guidance and support than the system can give.

England player and Rugby World Cup winner. He recognised the power that rugby had in transforming his attitude, behaviour and aspirations and channelled that power into supporting young people.

“Combining the unique blend of rugby, a skills building course, career taster days and CV and interview workshops, coaches create a bespoke path for each student to enable them to get a job, build a career and secure a long term and happy future”

Dallaglio RugbyWorks is a charity founded to help teenagers excluded from mainstream schools achieve sustained education, employment or training (EET). Delivered as part of the AP curriculum, the programme draws on the power of rugby and its values within an intensive three year course. Combining the unique blend of rugby, a skills building course, career taster days and CV and interview workshops, coaches create a bespoke path for each student to enable them to get a job, build a career and secure a long term and happy future.

Dallaglio RugbyWorks was born out of the early experience of founder Lawrence Dallaglio, former

The programme is delivered in over 70 AP schools across the UK to 14-17 year olds. With an established presence in South West London the programme is proud of the positive results that it’s seeing. 88% of permanently excluded young people enrolled in RugbyWorks are in EET 12 months after leaving AP, compared to the national average of 53% after six months.

There is also robust statistical evidence that the probability of being in sustained EET post-16 for those on RugbyWorks improves with the increased number of sessions the young person attends.

These positive trends are a result of the coaches dedicated work together with the support of corporate partners who provide funding and career taster day opportunities.

If you want to find out more about Dallaglio RugbyWorks and how to support young people in London and the surrounding area, please contact: info@dallagliorugbyworks.com

darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

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WE NEED TO TALK about scamming

Untitled 12, Envelop(e)s

A

recent exhibition at contemporary art gallery One Paved Court in Richmond saw artist Julie Derbyshire present a new body of photographic work alongside her fabricated objects that inspired it.

Informed by personal experience, Possession is the culmination of Julie’s investigation into the increasingly disturbing social issue of scamming, particularly as it touches vulnerable elderly individuals. Her aim, through her artwork, is to bring a new voice to the topic.

The behaviour of victims who succumb to scamming is typically characterised by excessive spending, often beyond their means, and a secretive obsession with the purchase and hoarding of items. It is often motivated by false promises of friendship and future wealth through manipulation, emotional coercion and insidiousness. Engaging with the scammers in a dialogue, ordering and receiving objects, becomes an addiction. Those who become embroiled are invariably vulnerable and often newly socially isolated. With perpetrators often based abroad and away from UK jurisdiction and complex legal provisions regarding issues of mental

capacity, family and friends are left to watch on, powerless.

the conflict between the lure of perceived beauty and the unsettling and ugly effects on those vulnerable to coercion.

A series of photographs of hand crafted paper porcelain envelopes bearing extracts of text commonly used in scamming schemes makes reference to the relentless and insidious nature of correspondence that victims of such practices are exposed to. Made from a material historically prized for its combination of strength and fragility, the envelopes allude to the transition from seemingly harmless words to the secrecy and complicity engulfing their recipients.

Chandelier of False Promises

Julie’s work draws on the vanitas tradition to convey the tension between the temptation and emptiness of worldly possessions. She employs still lifes as a commentary on modern consumerism, its excesses and pitfalls. Iterations of wealth, value and exorbitance range from a beguiling chandelier made from imitation jewellery, hoarded by a victim over years of scamming exploitation, to more conceptual objects that make reference to

Julie has exhibited in the UK and abroad and her work is held in private collections. She has received a number of awards and was recently nominated for the RPS 100 Heroines Award. All of the images from this body of work can be viewed on Julie’s website.

Julie Derbyshire juliederbyshire.com Instagram: @juliederbyshire For future exhibitions at One Paved Court visit onepavedcourt.co.uk

darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

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50 Years Since Stonewall Local award-winning filmmaker and author, Shamim Sarif says LGBTQ+ teaching is a step in the right direction

I

was born and raised in Surrey, to a Muslim family. Throughout my adolescence, I struggled with knowing I was gay, and I remember praying that, somehow, it would stop. Because I was taught, almost by osmosis, that being gay was wrong.

Over thirty years ago, there were no role models for me at school or on T.V. Within my Muslim community, no-one was allowed to acknowledge or talk about the people who were

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autumn 19 | darlingmagazine.co.uk

clearly gay, because it was generally agreed to be against Islamic teachings. On top of that, the unfounded, insulting insinuation that all gay people are somehow deviant, promiscuous or immoral, was prevalent. For a child, a young teenager, these kinds of feelings, aimed at creating shame and fear and disgust, are powerful. How I wish there had been school classes that could have made me feel that I was not an aberration.

education teach their children what they like in the privacy of their own homes. They are free to have their children wear a hijab or a cross outside the home if they choose. There is a legal process that can be used against anyone who threatens that religious freedom. That is not the case in countries such as Saudi Arabia, where religious law is enshrined. An atheist or Christian woman visiting Saudi must still cover her head to meet Muslim standards.

Shamim Sarif & Hanan Kattan

I did come out, eventually. I’ve been with my wife for over 23 years and we have two sons who we chose to have together. It was tough in the early years - our families were not supportive. There was no legal framework for us to be married at that time, and we had to use work-arounds to ensure we had proper parental rights. But times change, and the laws have changed. These laws have not created more gay people, but they’ve given relief and validation to those of us who felt marginalized. We live in Wimbledon and the kids of our friends and neighbours are unfazed and, frankly, not bothered that we are LGBTQ+.

I wonder if they would still be unfazed if they received a class at school that told them some people think it’s wrong?

Sophie Khan argued in the summer issue of Darling that the rights of religious parents could be infringed by the Government’s new relationship education programme which allows LGBTQ+ relationships to be normalised, alongside other forms of marriage and partnership. While acknowledging that she is fully entitled to advertise her legal services and that the article was written so that parents who believed their human rights were being breached could seek legal assistance via her firm, I take issue with her suggested solution: that the government programme should also teach the ‘counter-narrative to LGBTQ+ relationships, as proclaimed in religious texts.’ She does not mention the obvious—that the counter-narrative would explain that in certain religious sects, homosexuality is considered to be wrong.

My belief is that religious parents are lucky to live in a country, such as the U.K., that values human freedom, because they are absolutely at liberty to

The U.K.’s laws are not derived from religion; they are secular. They uphold equality, freedom and human dignity, irrespective of race, religion, gender or sexuality. That is the ‘contract’ one signs by choosing to live here. And for anyone who disrespects these principles, there is a price to pay. For instance, I cannot own a business in the U.K. and decide that I only want to hire white employees and not people of colour, or only heterosexual employees. There is a legal process by which I can be held to account.

These principles work on the basis of inclusion.

But when we start to suggest that someone’s sexuality might be wrong, or considered wrong in some quarters, that creates exclusion. It creates the possibility in the mind of a child that being gay, for instance, is perhaps not completely okay.

In my opinion, no version of exclusion has a place being taught in schools. Because, here’s what exclusion does: it creates a sense of superiority in those doing the excluding, and it makes those excluded feel ostracized or unworthy. We exclude rapists and murderers from society. Should we, in a free country, be excluding (even under the guise of providing a ‘balanced view’) anyone based on their inherent traits, or based on lifestyle choices that do not hurt anyone else?

I believe that religious antipathy to LGBTQ+ people is flawed, not least because judging people on their inner values is more meaningful than on inherent traits like colour or sexuality.

But that is not a debate for this article. We live in a secular society that believes in true freedom and equality. My view is that this same equality is deeply eroded when a counter-narrative is taught that suggests that some of our freedoms may be wrong. n Twitter & Instagram @shamimsarif

darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

19

promo

You Can’t Cheat The Machine Your dream body in just two twenty minute sessions a week!

Elise and Sofie

With Elise Jalon & EMS Trainer Sofie Husfeldt

I

In 20 minutes (twice a week recommended) you will achieve more than you would in a much longer session of conventional training in the gym. During traditional strength training the brain sends impulses which stimulate certain muscles to contract.

magine getting a 90 minute workout done in only 20 min, at the office or in the comfort of your own home. EMS is a combined treatment and training and it improves muscle strength, endurance, balance, flexibility and metabolism.

What is EMS and who is it for?

Electrical muscle stimulation is a new trend in sport that originally comes from physiotherapy. It uses low-frequency electrical impulses to stimulate muscles that are often ignored in conventional training.

EMS is for everyone 18-90+ and it’s time-efficient, effective and safe.

“

In short, what does it do?

EMS provides a total body workout tailored to your ability and fitness goals. Even if it is the only workout you do, EMS along with the right nutrition balance will lead to great results with optimum efficiency. It will dramatically shorten the time it would take to reach your goals.

20

autumn 19 | darlingmagazine.co.uk

I love helping my clients become stronger and healthier, says Sofie, And I’m equally passionate about helping others start new meaningful businesses. Being the only EMS Master trainer in Surrey and just one out of three in the UK, I run an EMS instructor course once a month. Get in touch if you are interested in more information.”

However, not all muscles have a well-developed connection to the brain and these muscles are not activated as easily and therefore they will not develop so well. EMS Training stimulates all the major muscle groups and also helps to develop the motoric nerve connections relating to muscle movement. By sending electric impulses directly to these motoric nerves, even the weakly connected muscles are activated. So your muscles experience a much more intensive training stimulus and you get a full-body workout.

Key Benefits: • Huge gains for athletes and fitness enthusiasts of all levels, for all sports • Excellent results for muscle toning and general fitness • Increased muscle tone throughout the core decreases back problems • Increased muscle strength helps to achieve proper posture • Rehabilitation of back, neck, legs etc.

• Easy exercises with low impact • Efficient, time saving and guaranteed results • Increased flexibility • Joint-friendly training • post-pregnancy weight loss and toning • enhanced calorie burn and boost to metabolism • a cellulite breakdown function that has excellent results for reducing “orange peel” effect.

Elise Jalon experiences EMS firsthand: “I recently had the pleasure of experiencing five EMS Xbody training sessions over three weeks. Sofie and her team made me feel completely at ease as I arrived and put on the adjustable full body EMS training suit - ready to trial my first EMS session in a relaxed home and garden setting. A 20 min workout is calculated by the Xbody training machine according to your own fitness level. As the session starts you begin to feel light pulsing sensations which slowly grow stronger as you move your body and follow your instructor

and the monitor guiding your movements and stretches, using some apparatus. EMS gives you a speedy reminder of muscles that exist which you haven’t been exercising for some time as the pulses immediately start to awaken these areas! As the weekly sessions progress, the intensity is slowly adjusted to your own ability as your core muscles begin to strengthen. A major benefit I found is that you can’t cheat the machine - the same level of efficiency applies every time – regardless of your own motivational levels for that day! It’s also an added benefit of two-in-one ‘training and treatment’ - giving a holistic experience of well-being to both mind and body.

As a career executive and mother of two youngsters, with time as a limited resource EMS has provided an answer to a dream of being able to put my fitness level back on my agenda as priority. Within just 3 weeks I’ve been able to feel a remarkable difference in both my physical fitness and personal wellbeing. I notice my core abdominal muscles in particular have strengthened (something that has been difficult to achieve post-natal) and EMS has also given me the added endurance and motivation to get out and complete a weekly 5KM race over 3 weeks, achieving a personal goal which I had found difficult to reach for some time. Having experienced immediate benefits of EMS, I’ve made the decision to continue EMS training as part of my ongoing fitness routine.” n Award-winning EMS training with Sofie Husfeldt

September Free Trial offer subject to availability, limited places. Book online via emsbysofie.com sojuhu@gmail.com

emsbysofie.com

darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

21

Surrey Homes magazine

2019

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Book your tickets at surrey-homes.co.uk/open-house

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surreyhomesmag

Finding the right

domestic support

Kerry Barnham

Darling chats to Kerry Barnham from Hummingbird Home Staff about the perfect solution to a happy home

R

ecruiting a nanny, housekeeper or even senior support for your elderly parents can appear to be a very daunting process particularly if it is your first time. There are many areas that you need to consider that may not be apparent when you first start looking. We are often approached by families that are not entirely sure what they are looking for but know that the current set up just isn’t working for them so need some guidance. With years of experience of assisting families on their journey to finding the right support Hummingbird are prepared to listen to you, discuss the type of help to solve them and then work with you to find the person who makes your home life easier.

Here’s what we learned about finding help and some top tips.

• Think carefully about what you want in a domestic helper and what type of duties you need them to perform.

• Every home is different but so are the helpers so finding a person who understands your home and what you need is key to the success of the placement.

• Be clear about what you are looking for when you interview your candidates as they will also be interviewing you and will need to feel confident about the role they have come to discuss with you.

• If you need your helper to provide childcare in your absence, it’s essential to spend significant time asking about their experience with children. We suggest following an interview with a trial.

• We often ask our candidates ‘is there anything you won’t do?’ Running a busy home means change and you need a candidate who is willing to be flexible.

• More than anything, you should follow your instincts when interviewing potential helpers.

Remember, this person will be sharing your home, so just liking him/her counts for a lot. n

hummingbirdhomestaff.co.uk

darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

23

Don’t worry about your mascara!

‘This Girl Can’

Sport England’s national campaign

Fear of judgement is stopping many women from taking part in exercise which is why Sport England’s ‘This Girl Can’ national campaign is here to inspire thousands of women to have a go, regardless of what people think of them or what they look like when they exercise.

L

ocal sports clubs across Elmbridge are inviting women to join in ‘This Girl Can’ campaign and try something new for free. Many have already taken advantage of the summer offer of three free vouchers to try a new sport or activity and we want more to join the scheme in Elmbridge and the council has decided to extend the offer until the end of October.

Does it really matter if women wiggle, jiggle or get sweaty when they exercise? Surely, what matters is that they are doing their thing to get more

active and fitter and are making a difference to themselves by improving their health, wellbeing and confidence.

Here are some of the activities to try; fitness classes, running, boxing, bowling, cheerleading, judo, karate, tennis, rowing, cricket, football, netball, cycling and yoga. n ‘This Girl Can’ free activity and sport offer Visit elmbridge.gov.uk/thisgirlcan for full details and to download your free vouchers.

Hummingbird Home Staff

Nanny / Housekeeper Combined Live In / Live Out Fulltime / Part Time Temp Nannies & Housekeepers Afterschool Nannies Senior Support Hummingbird Home Staff provide a tailor made search so our local families feel confident in their choice of housekeeper/nanny and know their home and children are being cared for and managed by the right home staff from the start.

Contact us to begin your search for the perfect home staff.

Call Hummingbird on 01276 537 959 www.hummingbirdhomestaff.co.uk • info@hummingbirdhomestaff.co.uk 24

autumn 19 | darlingmagazine.co.uk

Hummingbird_Half-A4-Ad-2019.indd 1

30/07/2019 12:39:36

health

Since the beginning of time we have searched for that magical something to give us eternal youth, says Barbara Currie

T

oday this searching is at an all-time high with billions of pounds being spent on miracle “get young” face creams, neck creams, eye creams, cosmetic surgery, Botox injections, collagen implants and facials, all with the ultimate quest of looking and feeling younger and halting the advance of the years.

Wouldn’t we like to keep our present age but have the radiance, amazing energy, excitement, flexibility and agility of youth.

Wouldn’t we like to get rid of the sagging muscles, aches and pains, excess weight, diminished eyesight and hearing and memory loss and replace it with a toned, firm and beautiful body, amazing energy, glowing, unwrinkled skin and improved memory, eyesight and hearing? Wouldn’t we like to be able to stay calm under stress, sleep well at night and wake with that good to be alive feeling?

If you are answering yes to any of the above, then yoga is for you. I became a yoga addict at my very first yoga class many years ago. I was stiff, tired, and tense and out of sorts when I enrolled to try yoga for the very first time, but the sight of my teacher, then in her late 50’s, will stay in my

In my opinion Yoga is the best elixir of youth and by practicing daily you will start to reap its magical benefits.

memory forever. She was toned and stood to demonstrate posture after posture with the flexibility and ease and body shape of an 18 year old. She didn’t look tired or tense but radiated a wonderful zest for life that was contagious, and I left my first class walking taller and feeling better than I had felt for ages.

What is Yoga?

The word ‘yoga’ means yoking or joining together of body, mind and spirit with the universal spirit.

Realising that for positive health, happiness and peace of mind both mind and body must work together in complete harmony; the yogis developed this wonderful system of personal development or science of yoga over 5,000 years ago.

Yoga is comprised of slow deep healthy breathing to stimulate oxygen to every cell, exercises to tone 100% of the body both inside and out, balancing postures to strengthen the body and help us learn the power of focus, inverted positions to reverse the adverse aging effects of gravity, stretching movements to keep the joints and spine in perfect condition, deep relaxation to help us release tension and relax, and meditation for calm deep inner peace. n barbaracurrieyoga.com

darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

25

See leading London specialists locally Spire St Anthony’s Hospital provides world class healthcare to South London and Surrey Arrange to see a specialist today

020 8003 9422

801 London Road, Sutton, Surrey SM3 9DW www.spirestanthonys.com Follow us on social media

promo

couch with Dr De-Stress On the

Dr Mariette Jansen

The little voice causing havoc When what others see doesn’t match how you feel Nell looked the part. Well groomed, wearing a beautiful expensive suit, elegant high heels and blond highlights in a well coiffured bob against the background of a classical green front door of one of those listed houses in the suburbs of London. The picture of a successful woman, who is leading a great life. That’s the picture.

But what’s the story?

Nell is posh. She went to an all-girls boarding school, then attended university abroad and married a wealthy property guy. They had three children who are all living their lives away from home and Nell, who had always worked part-time, is now holding down a full time job. She is very good at it. But the picture we see of Nell is only a part of her. The other part is carefully hidden and the only one who knows it is Nell herself.

What is the hidden part?

Her secret companion is a little creepy monster, sitting on her shoulder invisible for the world, and continuously whispering at her……

Making her feel bad about herself, stressing her out, forcing her to walk on eggshells and keeping her awake at night. The monster tells her: You made a mistake. You could have done better. Oh, look at your colleagues, they are so clever. One day they will find out you are actually not that good! This creepy monster goes by the name of Imposter Syndrome. It is very common, especially amongst women, but one of those ‘let’s not talk about’ subjects.

How to deal with your Imposter Syndrome?

• Don’t try to ignore the voice, face it full-on • Your IS monster is talking to you as an authority. Are you responding as a child? If so, step into your adult to dismantle the power of the authority • Start a dialogue and continue a conversation • Don’t think black and white. Making one mistake or being less perfect doesn’t make you useless at your job...

• Find rational proof that IS got it wrong • Wave goodbye to the monster Want to know if you are suffering from Imposter Syndrome? Text ‘darling’ and your email address to receive the questionnaire that will reveal your truth.

Dr Mariette Jansen, Dr De-Stress is a life coach, meditation teacher, EFT therapist, award winning blogger and expert in helping women to take control of their lives, overcome anxiety and build confidence.

drdestress.co.uk | mariette@drdestress.co.uk

darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

27

Christmas Carol Service at . Clement Danes The Strand, London, WC2R 1DH CCLI Number 1413839

Monday 9th December 2019 7pm - 9pm

Featuring

The Band of The Honourable Arrllery Company The Choir of St. Clement Danes The Meath Choir supported by members of The Godalming Jazz Choir Professional Tenor Stephen Petch

“All profit raised will directly support Meath residents who live with complex epilepsy and associated disabiliies.”

TICKETS: £25

To book ckets please contact Sarah 01483 411071 or sarah.steele@meath.org.uk www.meath.org.uk

The Band of the Honourable Arrllery Company

Please join us for drinks and mince pies aaer the service The Meath Epilepsy Charity, Westbrook Road, Godalming, Surrey GU7 2QH Registered Charity No 200359

promo

Green Matters in the bag Love where you live with Captain Fantastic, Laurence Wells and the GreenTeam

Plastic pollution has hit the public consciousness in a big way. Around the world, governments, businesses, and global citizens are working to tackle the obscene amount of unnecessary plastic waste we throw out in our day-to-day lives but the enormity of the problem threatens to overwhelm us. ‘Green champion’, Laurence Wells, talked to Darling’s Holly Candlish about what we can do locally to create a global change Our local campaigner has plenty of helpful advice on how we can make small changes to become better global citizens:

Following the tireless campaigning of Sir David Attenborough, the shock tactics of Extinction Rebellion, fast-food restaurant blunders and images of coastal disasters, the plight of plastic pollution is never far from our headlines. Many of us want to do more to improve the situation and one band of big-hearted locals are proving that ‘taking it one step at a time is all it takes to get you there’, by organising a neighbourhood litter pick on the first Sunday of every month in a bid to clean up our villages and towns.

• walk, cycle, scoot or train whenever you can • reduce, reuse, repair, recycle - in that order • support your local butcher, baker, greengrocer, fishmonger or zero waste store (such as Greenwise in Fetcham) • bring Tupperware when you shop to store your purchased meat and fish • think BBC. Bring your own bag (maybe a “Boomerang Bag”), bottle (for water) and cup (for hot beverages).

Leading the drive to clean up our locality is environmental officer for Cobham Conservation and Heritage Trust, Laurence Wells, joined by a spirited bunch of local campaigners - more gentle do-gooders than eco-warriors – who are doing their bit for the environment in the hope of inspiring more people to help clean up our villages and towns.

“I am a big advocate of JFK: Ask not what your community can do for you but what you can do for your community! The litter picks last one hour and Hi-Viz jackets and litter pickers are provided. Volunteers need only bring appropriate clothing and their own gloves - and it’s always a sociable event. Litter is collected, sourced and bagged at the point of litter picking into recyclable and non-recyclable waste and collected by Joint Waste Solutions.”

Along with a hands-on approach to collecting litter, he intends to use innovative solutions to solve environmental problems. “I am encouraging local businesses to help people save money, stay hydrated and prevent plastic pollution by allowing people to refill their own bottles with tap water on their premises and putting those business collaborators on a Refill app.” n Get involved. The next litter pick is Sunday 6 October at 2 pm, meeting at the corner of Stoke Road and Station Road in Stoke D’Abernon.

For more information contact laurence_wells@hotmail.com

29

Missing Your darling Magazine?

A

COLLECT COPIES AT OUR ‘HOTSPOTS’ • • • • • • • • •

Fego Caffé 14 Anyards Rd, Cobham Carluccio’s 22B Hight St, Cobham Bronte’s Cafe 28 Hollyhedge Rd, Cobham Painshill Portmouth Rd, Cobham Power’s 140 Oatlands Dr, Weybridge Café One 1 Baker St, Weybridge Esquires Coffee 27 High St, Esher The Art Agency 118 High St, Esher Munch and Wiggles Cafe/Bakery High St, Oxshott

• Nest Home & Café

High St, Ripley

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“Anna is a pleasure to work with, she captures the heart and soul!”

(Kate Robbins, actress)

portraits . lifestyle . events www.annakunstphotography.com info@annakunstphotography.com

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THERE IS

an easy way

Adrian Sutherland

Earn 10% yields on your rental property without the hassle of being a stressed out landlord!

Have you recently received an inheritance, a bonus or “gasp” are you thinking about releasing equity from your family home in order to invest in property?

After honing my skills over the years, I now help my clients generate rental yields of up to 10%. The properties I source are in the South East of England

Do you want to maximise your return on investment but don’t know exactly how to go about it?

Like you, I wanted an investment that was fuss-free and would help me supplement my pension and provide for my daughter’s education in the future.

Do you feel frustrated by the fact that you don’t know where to buy?

You’ve probably looked at London as a rental investment opportunity but noticed that yields are really low, hovering around 3-3.5%. You may have also considered northern cities where yields are better – but found that historically, capital growth isn’t. And, the thought of managing tenants and maintenance so far away isn’t appealing either.

I understand your concerns. 16 years ago I started investing in Buy To Let properties and was equally frustrated. As a single dad with a daughter I just wanted honest, personal advice from someone who had already done it.

helped me get on the ladder and scale – not something everyone has access to! Over time I started receiving the enquiring phone calls – which is when I decided to help others get into the property investment market.

within a 25-mile radius of London, with good transport links.

I achieve high yields and occupancy rates by renting the properties out as serviced apartments to professionals and those who are relocating and in need of a quality fully furnished property with parking. These properties also enable you to offset mortgage costs against your taxable income, unlike long-term lets.

I was fortunate to have had a background working in Finance and Property and called in (many) favours from ex colleagues and friends who

If you have similar goals for your retirement and children’s future, please get in touch.

During September and October I’m offering a free, no-obligation property investment consultation.

Contact me on 07725 440611 adrian@buytolethunter.com

Buy To Let Hunter Quadrant Road Richmond TW9 1DQ buytolethunter.com

darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

31

legal promo

For Richer or for Poorer Solicitor Kim Marshall gives the lowdown on pre and postnups

A

prenup is an agreement made by a couple before their marriage (or civil partnership) which makes provision for the separation of their assets and income in the event that 32

autumn 19 | darlingmagazine.co.uk

their union ends. A prenup can also set out how a couple should deal with their finances during their marriage, for example whether a joint account will be opened and how property and other assets should be held.

Kim Marshall

A prenup can help safeguard family wealth and ringfence inherited or business assets. Prenups are becoming increasingly popular, particularly with those who marry later in life who may wish to reserve certain assets for their children or grandchildren and ensure that their inheritance rights are protected (it is also crucial to make a will for the same reason). Those who have experienced an acrimonious divorce may also be keen to obtain a prenup before tying the knot again, to ensure there will be fewer arguments and a less costly breakup should the relationship not last.

A prenup is tailored to the individual couple’s needs, to make the process as friendly as possible. It is a good idea to discuss the prenup with each other first in broad terms and perhaps with other family members. A specialist solicitor can then be instructed to prepare a draft agreement based on these discussions. The couple can always negotiate the terms of the agreement between themselves or can ask solicitors to do this on their behalf.

It is important to start discussions well in advance of the wedding or civil partnership ceremony to ensure there is sufficient time for the prenup to be considered and signed. The Law Commission’s recommendations are that that a prenup should be signed at least 28 days before the wedding to avoid any situations where it may be signed ‘under duress’. Of course, there is a lot to think about and do in the run up to a wedding, and the preparations can be particularly time consuming.

It is not unusual for my clients to run

out of time and fall foul of the 28-day recommendation. In these circumstances, the agreement can be signed after the wedding and it then becomes known as a postnup. A postnup provides the same financial protection as a prenup and can be signed by a couple at any point during their marriage as part of overall financial planning and to ringfence assets.

There are certain requirements to follow to ensure that a prenup has the best chance of being adhered to. For example, both partners should disclose to the other details of their respective incomes, assets and debts. In this way, there will be no surprises at the outset of the marriage as each person will be familiar with the other’s financial position. Discussing financial issues can be one of the most difficult aspects of a relationship and dealing with this at the outset can truly strengthen a relationship and support good communication going forward. Both partners should also have their own independent legal advice about the effect of the terms of the agreement.

A prenup can offer many advantages but it is important to consider your situation and goals carefully before entering into an agreement. Ensuring it is the right decision for you and your partner before signing anything is crucial. For further guidance and a free initial consultation, contact Kim Marshall of Keystone Law. n Kim Marshall 020 3319 3700 kim.marshall@keystonelaw.co.uk keystonelaw.co.uk darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

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What’s On this autumn COBHAM HERITAGE DAY Sat 14 Sep, 10am-5pm

cobhamheritage.org.uk SURREY HILLS Opera in the Vineyard, Puccini’s La Boheme Sat 7 Sep, 6 - 11:30pm Denbies Wine Estate Surrey Hills Food & Drink Festival Sat 14 - Sun 15 Sept, 10am - 5pm Surrey Hills Challenge Sat 22 Sep Walking and running challenges Mushroom foraging Mon 7 and Tue 8 Oct, 10:15am 5pm The Legend Gilbert O’Sullivan - ‘Just Gilbert’ The 10 Oct, 7:30 - 11pm Venison Butchery & Cookery Course Sat 20 - Oct, 8am - 12pm surreyhills.org PAINSHILL Elmbridge Food Festival Sat 21 Sep, 11am - 5pm Talk: Origins of the 18th century English Landscaping Movement Thu 3 Oct, 11am Talks every first Thursday of the month AutumnTree Festival Sat 26 - Sun 27 Oct, 10am – 6pm Festive Walk Wed 28 – Fri 30 Nov, 5– 6:30pm & 6:30 – 8pm painshill.co.uk

Cobham Avorians Beer Festival Sat 21 Sep, 1-11pm Cobham Avorians Cricket Club

GUILDFORD’S YVONNE ARNAUD THEATRE Show Stopper! The Improvised Musical Thu 19 Sep An Evening with Louis de Berniéres Sun 13 Oct yvonne-arnaud.co.uk NEW VICTORIA THEATRE IN WOKING The Entertainer Mon 23 - Sat 28 Sep Hot FLush Tue 22 Oct Wannabe - The Spice Girls Show Thu 7 Nov atgtickets.com

VERA FLETCHER HALL The New Jersey Boys Sun 15 Sep, 7:30pm verafletcherhall.co.uk HAMPTON COURT PALACE The Handmade Fair with Kirstie Allsopp Fri 13 - Sun15 Sep, 9:30am-4:30pm Club Tropicana The Ultimate 80s Night Sat 5 Oct, 8pm Festive Fayre - Food Festival Fri 6 - Sun 8 Dec, 10am hrp.org.uk

The Winter Art & Antiques Fair Tue 5 - Sun 10 Nov Olympia London

CHERRY TREES CHARITY

olympia-antiques.com

Barn Dance 21 Sep, 2019 at 7:30pm The Old Barn Hall, Bookham cherrytrees.org.uk

Surrey Sculpture Society’s 22nd annual Sculpture Trail

KIDS FOR KIDS CHARITY Fishing for Goats! Executive Fly Fishing Day 12 Oct, 9:30am - 5:30pm Park Lake, Albury Estate, GU5 9JA Magical Candlelit Christmas Concert 5 Dec, 7-10pm St Peter’s, Eaton Square, London kidsforkids.org.uk THE BARN THEATRE Goosebumps Sat 26 Oct, 3pm The Rocky Horror Picture Show Sat 26 Oct, 8pm thebarntheatremolesey.co.uk

Until 22 Sep

At RHS Garden Wisley rhs.org.uk/wisley

Wimbledon Bookfest Thu 3 - Sun 13 Oct

wimbledonbookfest.org Cobham Super Saturdays 28 Sep and 14 Dec

cobhamvillage.co.uk Ripley Bonfire Night Sat 26 Oct

ripleybonfire.co.uk Cobham Extravaganza!

Fri 29 Nov, from 4pm

facebook/cobhamextravaganza

event promo

Want help getting back to work?

Sarah Austin Founder of Really Helpful Club

Really Helpful Club ‘Back to Business’ day, helping to realise your dreams

Dame Helena Morrissey DBE

W

e’ve all experienced that feeling of dread on returning to work after a holiday. But, when that return comes after a career break of months or years, the stakes can be considerably higher.

Your path back to work can involve retraining, expanding your network or taking a leap into self-employment.

‘An exciting opportunity to recognise your own talent and transferable skills and put them to good use’ Career breaks can happen for a number of reasons; bringing up a family, an illness, caring

for an elderly relative, or after a travel adventure. The common denominator is that returning to work has its challenges. You may need new skills and you may want greater flexibility. Perhaps you’ll start your own business or grow a side project? Or you might even want to dip your toe in the water by becoming a volunteer. It can be daunting, but it’s also an exciting opportunity to recognise your own talent and transferable skills, put them to good use and make a difference.

At Really Helpful Club, we’re helping returners re-engage with the workplace, start or grow their own business with our ‘Back to Business Realising Your Dreams’ event on Wednesday 9th October.

We’re delighted to welcome leading City businesswoman Dame Helena Morrissey as our keynote speaker.

Workshops and seminars will cover returning to work, looking for flexible options, career coaching and confidence-building, social media, marketing and investment funding, and volunteering. Our aim is to

inspire new directions, help you make new connections and meet like-minded people. Whether you’re at a crossroads in your current path or you want to progress to the next stage, this seminar is for you!

In the build-up to this event, we’re really excited to be launching a brand new jobs board, along with a careers and business hub, on the Really Helpful Club website. Our ever-growing membership (15,000 and counting) already have access to our buzzing community forums and directory of recommended businesses, in addition to a full programme of informative, inspiring and interesting events which will run throughout the Autumn. n Early bird tickets are available for £49, including refreshments and lunch.

Wednesday 9th October Roehampton University caroline@reallyhelpfulclub.com

More information about membership and events can be found at reallyhelpfulclub.com

35

onthescene promo

Darling’s Social Pages

SUMMER DRINKS AT THE IVY - COBHAM

James Storey Ivy GM Andrea McClean

Jeremy Gordeno, Lizzie Cundi, Amanda Lamb, Barbara Marriott

Julie Allen, Lucy Eames, Nikki Mundy & Maxine Adams

Kim Ricks, Louise Bush & Clare Edwards

Event Organiser, Lizzie Liebenhals, Joss Dickson, Sian Marshall, Judy Tams & Rosie Slater

Tom Burkett, Anna Revilla, Sarah Blake, Rebecca and Claire Lamb

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Helen Perry with Darling’s Holly Candlish

autumn 19 | darlingmagazine.co.uk

Sheillah Perry, Michelle Butler & Audrey Guarnori

Amanda Lamb, Lucy Alexander, Anthea Turner & Chemmy Alcott with her son Cooper

Editor Marja-Leena Toseland, TV’s Lucy Alexander (middle) & Editor Karine Torr

Rodrigo and Anna Borges De Araujo & Louise and Footballer Armand Traoré

EastEnder’s Charlie Brooks

Elise Jalon

EastEnder’s Gemma Bissix

TV presenter, Alexandra Legouix with her mom (left)

SILENT POOL GIN TASTING EVENT AT THE IVY

Sally Case, Karine Torr, Alex Hall & MarjaLeena Toseland

Above Marcello Ferri, Ania Kus, Vanessa Biggin & Ross Fraser from Collections Hair Club in Weybridge Melissa & Richard Ashington

Far left Silent Pool’s Adele Mitchell & Alex Hall

promo ‘FASHION & FIZZ’ SHOPPING EVENING HELD ON THE COBHAM HIGH STREET

Jess Richardson, Deborah Nottridge, Sally Case, Samantha Collins, Kirsty O’Grady & Jayne Di Michele at Number Six

Joss Dickson, Jo Darwell-Taylor & Rosie Slater from Evie Loves Toast

Adrian Fairbank & Janet Nelson

Elise Jalon, Jeanette Pyott, Phoenix Style owner, Paige Mengers, Charlene Lamb & Darling Editor Karine Torr

D Jordan & Prue Barker Sally Aljoe, Allison Clark & Darling’s Holly Candlish

Catriona Greene, Nicci Fairbank & Kate Wilcox Emma Wilson & Personal Stylist Emma Shoe Joy Gardner, Philly Wilcox & Kaye Howe at Riva

Andrew Hobbs & Annie O’Brien at Jeremy Hobbs

Gregg Cook, Nancy & Gordon Lewis

Laura Subba Row, Alicia Gray & Joan Hay from Pip & Gray

Liz Franklin & Christine Jones

Suzie Fry, Amanda Cook & Gina Bowman from Questa

LOCAL GAL HELEN MASON’S BIG BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION AT THE VICTORIA PUB IN OXSHOTT

Helen Holyoake, Sue Sweetbaum, Jo Bourne, George Holyoake, Brad Hunt & Dominic Jones

Benthe Van Druten & Nina Hunt Left - Sam Hall, Lizelle Sterry, Helen Mason, Sally Bacchanello & Pennie Campbell

Diane Farmer, Helen Mason, Madeleine Barnes, Beverly Berry & Nicci Fairbank

Alistair Candlish, Annelise Perry, Chris Perry & George Holyoake

darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

39

GLAMOUROUS ANNUAL DANES HILL SUMMER BALL

Barbara Gaion, Lina Lambrecht, Hannah Guganeswaran, Zoe Hamilton-Raimondi, Anita Boswell & Vicki LuckhamJones

Claire Grant, Val Lipton, Lucy Manchester and

Lisa Anna Orr, Gabriella Ruddick, SueRichard, Annesley Simone Windeatt & Nicola Gibbs

James Mason of Hawksman Real Estate who sponsored the ball for the 3rd year running & Chris Hollins (right)

Ivo Jovanovich & Lucy Schiel

Sarah Wilson, Holly Quincey, Steph Ball & Helen Bacchi-Howard

Tobias & Stephanie Wagnert

Paula & Javier Guevara

David & Sarah May

Chris and Kelly McConville, Rebecca Gilmore & Stuart Baker

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WHAT'S HOT

President John Baldwin, Mayor of Elmbridge Mary Sheldon & Mayor's Consort - John Sheldon

John Burns

SPOTTED AT THE ANNUAL CLAYGATE FLOWER SHOW

Harriet Thorpe & OTHER STORIES Floral Puff Sleeve Midi Wrap Dress, £75

Left Nick Jefferies (owner of The Game Larder) & Arthur Ellis

THE ANNUAL COBHAM SUPER SATURDAY ORGANISED BY COBHAM CHAMBER Left Claire Lamb - Chamber of Commerce Secretary and event organiser & Leigh Scantlin - Stoneleigh’s Butchers owner

MINT VELVET, Kayla Chesnut NUMBER SIX Suede Boot, £129 Eco Fur Coat Ottod’Ame, £299 RALPH LAUREN Elmswood Madison Leather Belt Bag,£165

Cobham Heritage Trust Nora Bethell (left) and David & Edna Tipping

Rebecca Lamb & The SpiderMan of Farnborough, Ryan Pankhurst

Local artist Jo Maynard

Pet portrait specialist Robin Kirwan-Taylor

111 SKIN, Vitamin C Brightening Booster (20ml), £95 WHISTLES, John Booth, Pride Charity Print, £60

SWEATY BETTY LONDON, Chelsea Crop Sweatshirt, £60

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@ladywimbledon darlingmagazine.co.uk | spring 2017 41

Love

Honour &

DISOBEY

By Kate Greenhalgh

B

ombshell. My daughter has said she is having a No Hats wedding. If I’d known, when I first took her in my motherly arms, that it would come to this, well...words fail me. My whole life has been building up to what delightful millinery I would wear at my daughters’ weddings.

But apart from this crushing disappointment, which I am totally ok with, the nuptial planning has gone very well. With minimal gnashing of teeth we’ve successfully booked a venue, caterer, florist, bride’s frock, DJ, vodka luge instead of cake (more fashionable), insurance; and the cat hotel for when the newly-weds are on honeymoon, (or rather, mini-moon. Young people have to get back to the office, as well as cats these days.) If it moves, we have booked it - in competition with other people who have a wedding that weekend. Peace be upon the family who nipped in ahead, and block-booked our most convenient local hotel for their guests to wallow in. We now have a charabanc of people from Swansea to accommodate somehow - DID THEY THINK OF THIS? Namaste. The only thing we have not booked is the weather, but I’m working with God and the Met Office on this. Who both assure me they are listening.

And apart from not wearing a hat, my main 42

autumn 19 | darlingmagazine.co.uk

role is to deliver the ‘parent of the bride’ speech, which has been pushed back to 10pm now. Various obvious pitfalls present themselves with this arrangement, but cometh the hour, cometh the mother. I absolutely will not embarrass my daughter with a rambling, impromptu, cringe-inducing speech, even though it will have been a long and emotional day by 10pm. Trust me.

Along with hatlessness, the other profound shock has been that grooms wear their shirts untucked these days. I remember when leaving one button of a waistcoat undone was the height of insurgency. And my daughter hopes that her Beloved presents himself at the town hall with exactly 9 days of stubble, in order to look his most undeniably handsome.

Whatever next? I thought the whole point is that a groom looks groomed. They are not referred to as the Bride and Unshaven Scruff, are they? Call me a slave to orthodoxy, but in my day, weddings were all about churches, vicars, hymns, thermographed invitations from the parents which you could run your thumb over, punch-ups in the car park, a haze of cigarette smoke, drunken uncles standing on pianos, blokey speeches laced with appallingly inappropriate sexual anecdotes... ...and hats. n

Barbara Currie School of Yoga Ltd OXSHOTT Village Centre Holtwood Rd

ESHER

WALTON

King George’s Hall High Street

Elmgrove Hall Hersham Rd

Mon

9.30-10.30am Tues 9.30-10.30am 11.00– 12.00 11.00-12.00pm Thurs 9.30–10.30am 11.00-12.00

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Barbara Currie is a state registered nurse and a qualified yoga teacher with many years experience. She has sold over a million DVDs worldwide and written 4 popular yoga books.

www.barbaracurrieyoga.com www.youtube.com/barbaracurrieyoga barbaracurrie@globalnet.co.uk

Call : 01372 467177

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01932 356043 Lauren@malinsgroup.co.uk

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spring 2017 | darlingmagazine.co.uk

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