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Darling Magazine - Wimbledon Feb 2015

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darling feb|march '15 FREE

SCREEN QUEENS Shamim & Hanan THE WOMBLES OF CANNIZARO PARK FAN THE FLAMES Pam’s Romance Tips JE SUIS ROB Local Cartoonist MEET ME AT ST CASSIEN

HART BROWN’S Bank of Mum & Dad WIMBLETECH Start Me Up! YOGA v CANCER With Mariko Lavender-Jones

inspiring local women in wimbledon | www.darlingmagazine.co.uk


salon opens in Wimbledon village Maeve McCrossan - Stylist/Supreme Colourist/Technical Director for ColourHerbe UK. has worked in The Village for 18 years.

Cesar Galeano – Senior Stylist with extensive experience in Fashion and TV. Clients include Will i Am and Gerard Butler.

Asma Khan – Beauty Therapist, specialising in OXYjet facials, massage and threading.

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editor’s letter Dear Darling Reader

Cover Girls: Shamim Sarif and Hanan Kattan Photography © Annie Armitage anniearmitage.com

Publisher Darling Magazine UK Karine Torr Editor Karine Torr 020 8739 0059 Advertising 07930 396356 Email info@darlingmagazine.co.uk Contributors Kate Greenhalgh Paul Mendelson Photography Annie Armitage and Taylor Torr Darling Cobham & Esher Philippa Hennessy 07772 633339 Darling Kingston Marja-Leena Toseland 07802 949836 Design Director Eleanor Hearder eleanor.hearder@gmail.com Printer roger@aquatintbsc.co.uk Distribution info@3colours.co.uk Whilst every care has been taken to ensure that the data in this publication is accurate, neither the publisher nor its editorial contributors can accept, and hereby disclaim, any liability to any party to loss or damage caused by errors or omissions resulting from negligence, accident or any other cause. Darling Magazine does not officially endorse any advertising material included within this publication. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form – electronic, recording or otherwise, without prior permission from the publisher.

Good news! According to the Chinese it's the 32nd year of the Green Wooden Ram, which apparently promises "a period of prosperity and well-being". Who knew? Not that a down-to-earth Capricorn like me believes in any of it, of course. But in between putting the year's first Darling to bed and wondering whether tomorrow would bring snow or daffodils, I couldn't help thinking there had to be a reason for the buzz of activity up and down our favourite high streets, as though everyone's frantically spring cleaning in anticipation of a splendid summer. So this issue is dedicated to the optimists – like David Fletcher’s new Techno Hub for start-ups above Wimbledon Library, Pam Custer's tips for reigniting romance and, of course, the joy of planning all your home improvements over spring. With so many brilliant home services to offer in SW19 & 20, there are no excuses. Advice on trying to move the kids on and out and the secret life of the Cannizaro caretakers. Inspiring Women, film duo Shamim Sarif and Hanan Kattan, and Rob Murray’s brilliantly clever cartoons cheer us up as we once more dream of those warm days sitting on the roundabout at St Cassien greeting passers by. Karine Torr Editor | info@darlingmagazine.co.uk

CONTENTS 5 9 11 13 15 17 18 19 21 23 26 32 35 37 39 41 42 42 44 45 46

Dynamic film duo, Shamim Sarif & Hanan Kattan Valentine tips for more romance in your life Maison St Cassien – a gem in The Village Yoga with a twist with Mariko Lavender-Jones Perk up your hair colour for spring Ever wondered who looks after Cannizaro Park? The Merton Chamber needs YOU! Great services at The Wimbledon Guild The Opera comes to town Cartoonist Rob Murray chats up Darling Who’s Who on the scene Can your kids ever afford to move out? Design tips from stylish absolute abode Wake up and smell the daffodils. It’s time to renovate Wimbledon’s first Techno Hub Property Talk with andrew scott robertson Athena’s helpful website and services Bridge with Paul Mendelson Darling’s Diary – What’s On Classifieds & Hot Spots Kate Greenhalgh – is Girl Power taking over?

darlingmagazine.co.uk | feb-march 2014

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For an individual and professional service

PEACOCK & CO Solicitors YOUR LOCAL LEGAL EXPERTS 94 High Street Wimbledon Village SW19 5EG 020 8944 5290 www.peacock-law.co.uk office@peacock-law.co.uk

Divorce, Financial Settlement and Children Issues Family Mediation Pre and Post Marriage Agreements Wills and Estate Administration Inheritance Tax Planning Lasting Powers of Attorney Commercial and Residential Property Employment


inspiring women

DOUBLeTAKE Wimbledon’s award winning film duo, Shamim and Hanan

T

heir son being accepted into Kings College, Wimbledon, was the catalyst that prompted entrepreneur Hanan Kattan and acclaimed author and feature film director Shamim Sarif to move from Chelsea to Wimbledon. With both boys, Ethan and Luca, now attending the prestigious independent school, the film-making couple are relieved they no longer have to make the long commute across London each morning. The couple are co-founders of Enlightenment Productions, a company dedicated to producing, distributing and selling entertaining independent feature films and television content of integrity and individuality. Their latest feature film, ‘Despite the Falling Snow’ is based on Shamim’s acclaimed novel and written and directed by the author. The movie which stars 2014 Golden Globe nominee Rebecca Ferguson and Charles Dance is produced by Hanan and is due for release in 2015. The child of Indian and South African parents, Shamim says it was her roots and nineteen year relationship with wife Hanan that inspired her to write her first two novels.

The World Unseen explores issues of race, gender and sexuality in a world torn apart by Apartheid, while I Can’t Think Straight is a romance about a London based Jordanian of Palestinian descent that falls in love with a young British Muslim woman and breaks off her wedding. Enlightenment's first two feature films adapted from the novels have won a stunning 34 international awards since their release in 2006 and 2007, with the former selected to debut at the Toronto International Film Festival. Hanan says: ‘Coming from Eastern cultures, living together openly as a couple, raising a family and eventually marrying was and still is very unusual for couples from these countries. We are proud to have broken many taboos with our films. In 2010 Hanan drew on her own heritage to co-curate TEDxHolyLand conference in Jerusalem, an event that inspired her to produce and appear and present The House of Tomorrow, a documentary focused on women changing the future in Palestine and Israel. The conference was produced through their fledgling foundation the Sarif-Kattan Foundation, which raises funds for worthwhile causes through screenings of their films. Enlightenment is the first film company to move its headquarters from central London to nearby Kingston to do post-production work. And while not an obvious place for Oscar winners and the Hollywood elite to hang out, the couple say it is an ideal location.

Photograph: Annie Armitage

darlingmagazine.co.uk |feb-march 2015


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OUR BEEF IS JUST THE BEGINNING

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Their support of the local community recently led to the company winning the Kingston Business Excellence Awards, for helping to establish a thriving, creative hub in the region.

an apartment when we were in Chelsea, so are really enjoying the spaciousness of a house in Wimbledon and the benefits of a garden. Wimbledon has a wonderful community.

Last year Hanan scooped “Entrepreneur of the Year” for EBS Digital, which helps small businesses achieve outstanding growth using the latest digital marketing strategies. She has also published a book: ‘Grow Your Profits – Online Marketing Secrets That Really Work’, which has been expanded to form Business Mastery Online, an e-learning video based course aimed at helping start-ups and fledgling businesses easily learn the core marketing skills needed to build a strong client base.

“In our spare time we like to go to the movies and theatre and entertain family and friends at home as Shamim is an incredible cook. We all love good food and Maison St Cassien in the village is a particular favourite because of its delicious Lebanese food.” enlightenment-productions.com

An accomplished speaker, Shamim has spoken at TED events in London, Jerusalem and India, as well as at corporate events for companies such as Deloitte and Goldman Sachs. Hanan says: “Shamim and I love to keep busy but Wimbledon is the haven we are always happy to return home to. In Wimbledon it’s possible to enjoy the beauty of green, open spaces and cafés and still be in central London in a short while. We lived in

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mental health

LET CUPID IGNITE THE SPARK! Pam Custers, Darling’s resident therapist, tells you how

W

ith the new year well on the way, it’s almost time to think about all things love. How do we keep the love alive? Some interesting research recently crossed my desk. The title was ‘Forget Romance and Think Excitement’. Keeping the love alive is always key to the work I do. Relationships need input and nurturing and keeping the spark can at times feel rather tricky at the end of yet another exhausting week.

always promised to visit, the salsa dancing you said you would never do, or perhaps that rock climbing wall may not be such a silly idea after all. So surprise yourself. Do something different this Valentine’s Day and Cupid may very well revisit.

Pam Custers is an experienced therapist working with individuals, couples and families.

Is your relationship in the doldrums, need some help?

pam @pamcusters.co.uk

Accred MBACP. MA. BA (Psych) Hons and is a RELATE trained and registered counsellor. 07572 841 388 www.pamcusters.co.uk

So plumping for a pleasant evening out is good enough - surely? Well not according to this research. Doing something exciting or out of the ordinary that makes us feel a thrill is what can inject our relationship with excitement. There’s no need to go skydiving but doing something novel with our partner engenders that loving feeling. Actively working at increasing the good experiences will impact positively on even the most ho hum relationships. The research goes on to say if we couple that with pretending it is a first date, suddenly Cupid will be flying on steroids. Have a look around: that comedy club you darlingmagazine.co.uk | feb-march 2015

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sep-oct 2013 | 2015 darlingmagazine.co.uk feb-march | darlingmagazine.


restaurant - promo

Maison St Cassien The Heart of Wimbledon Village

D

uring the Tennis Championships, pavement seats in The Village are at a premium and you will quite often see Maria Sharapova, Grigor Dimitrov and Andy Murray enjoying one of their favourite dishes at this stylish eatery that even brought Grigor all the way over from East London last November for one of his specially made gourmet wraps. For the rest of the year, Maison St Cassien becomes the focal meeting point for locals, often on a daily basis, to meet up with friends or to meet new ones. It doesn’t take the staff long to recognise a frequent visitor and soon you’re welcomed into their warm hospitality by name and asked whether “you’d like your usual”. Managed by George and Ali since 2000, this understated gem in The Village’s crown is favourite for locals, visitors and the odd tennis star to drop in for a chat or just to watch the world go by. The coffee shop, come restaurant, is open from 7am

until late Monday – Sunday offering a huge range of dishes on the menu from Lebanese kebabs and mezzes to heart-warming lasagnes and moussakas and with the option of a take-away menu as well, which is a welcome sight for many workers in The village who are able to pick up a meal on their way home. Maison St Cassien prides itself on offering affordable and “home cooked” food in a friendly and welcoming atmosphere and, during the evening, it comes to light with various music and social evenings being planned for 2015, as well as offering an excellent venue for a private party. 71 High Street Wimbledon SW19 5EE Tel: 020 8944 1200 info@maisonstcassien.co.uk maisonstcassien.co.uk @MaisonStCassien Image copyright of © Sarah Manolescue 2015 www.sarahmanolescue.co.uk


Preparatory School for girls aged four to eleven

Wilberforce House Camp Road, Wimbledon SW19 4UN

Open Morning

For further details call Jane Davis on 020 8947 6969

Saturday 28th February 9.30-12.00

We offer an assisted places scheme for girls aged 7+

Visit The Study and meet Headmistress, Susan Pepper and her staff

We warmly welcome you to visit our school on

www.thestudyprep.co.uk

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WoodcoteWoodcote House School House School

Now operating

INFORMAL ADULT BALLET CLASSES

Your fabulous ballet body is in there somewhere. Bring back childhood memories. Enjoy the classical music - it’s so different from other workouts and really helps your flexibility and core strength. Weekly at 10:30 - 11:30am on Tuesdays on a term basis. Free trial available. Run from 19th Group Wimbledon Scout hut, 106 Cottenham Park Road, SW20 0SZ. £10 PAYG. Woodcote House SchoolHouse School Woodcote Snows Ride, Windlesham, GU20 6PF Snows Ride, Surrey Windlesham, Surrey GU20 6PF Tel: 01276 472115 Tel: 01276 472115 www.woodcotehouseschool.co.uk www.woodcotehouseschool.co.uk

Call Sarah for details 07552 774111


health

Calm, Steady, Strong™ Gentle yoga class for people affected by cancer with Mariko Lavender-Jones

Y

oga is an excellent tool for transformation. Through gentle movement, breathing and relaxation techniques, we can change for the better, regardless of our age or health condition.

I became a yoga teacher “accidentally” when I had a life-changing experience. I understand how effective yoga practice can be, after cancer diagnoses, surgery and treatments. I became a yoga therapist to help people find their own healing process through yoga. I offer special yoga sessions for people and their families affected by cancer. Being a two time survivor of breast cancer, I am eager to share my own experiences in how yoga practice can help our lives AFTER and WITH cancer.

"I became a yoga therapist to help people find their own healing process through yoga" A cancer diagnosis for most people is shocking to say the least. It is a BIG C; life before cancer and after seems entirely different. You may feel that you don’t have the same stamina or the mobility as before, or feel drained emotionally and physically after surgery and treatments. Even after completing treatments, it may feel that getting “back to normal” is difficult as your body and mind have gone through various changes along the way. In the “CalmSteadyStrong” class, we will be exploring how movements feel on a given day, and learn a new way to ‘be’ in your body.

In the post-surgery healing journey, you may have pain and strain initially, but it is important to start moving in a small range of motions and with comfortable breathing and relaxation. Pushing through pain does not help the healing process. We can build up strength and mobility in an appropriate way. Applying the principles of yoga therapy, you will move better, breathe better and feel calm and relaxed. All these benefits can enhance your healing process. When: 16:00 - 17:00 on Wednesdays (during the school term time) Where: Jiva Health Yoga Studio, 19A Wimbledon Bridge, Wimbledon, SW19 7NH Fee/donation: Donation on a sliding scale of £6 - £60 Contact: Mariko Lavender-Jones for more details and registration. T: 078 6036 0503 info@marikoyoga.com www.marikoyoga.com darlingmagazine.co.uk | feb-march 2015

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LOVE

AT F I R S T S I G H T Your wedding at Warren House

For more information please call our Wedding Consultant on 020 8974 7115 or email weddings@warrenhouse.com Warren House, Warren Road, Kingston upon Thames, Surrey KT2 7HY warrenhouse.com/weddings


hair – promo

NEW HAIR, NE W YOU! Thom Kirby will help you decide what’s right for you

W

ith 2014 now behind us and the promise of an exciting year ahead, forward planning will hopefully help us all achieve our objectives. All being well, our hair has survived the party season and any winter sunshine it may have been fortunate enough to receive. Additionally, now is the time to consider options if you are looking to change/ re-evaluate your style or hair colour. These changes need not be drastic; a subtle change of shade, or discussing optional styling techniques can produce a fresh approach to your hair care and styling regime. Gentlemen may require some sharpening up, and even consider some subtle colour. Don’t delay guys, it will be our secret!

However, change should not be undertaken for change’s sake as it can also be a time to reinforce or enhance your established style. Romance is in the air in February and for those of you wishing to capitalise on your crowning glory, and we mean ladies and gentlemen, the team at Thom Kirby will be happy to discuss and hopefully help you achieve your full potential. Ladies may consider an invigorating colour shot to enliven and enrich hair tone. These processes can have the ability to help define facial features such as eye colour and bone structure. Most people are aware of the shape and colour of the clothes they wear, and why they wear them; the same is true for our hair.

This time of the year we also celebrate Mother's Day. Miss it at your peril! Thom Kirby offers a selection of gift vouchers available for those busy husbands or children wishing to reward their hard working wives/mothers with a serious a slice of pampering. Alternatively, for those pro-active mothers who require some attention, please enquire about our limited ‘Mother’s Day Packages’. These details will be available upon request from late February. 2015 can offer opportunities for everyone; we have to start somewhere. Let’s consider starting with our HAIR! Thom Kirby Hair 020 8947 5222 155 Arthur Road SW19 8AD thomkirbyhair@gmail.com

darlingmagazine.co.uk | feb-march 2015

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Wedding Specialist | Displays for Home or Office Funeral Tributes | Free Consultations | Local Delivery 07979 812219 www.freshwaterflowers.co.uk michelleallen@freshwaterflowers.co.uk

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S AV I N G C A N N I Z A R O PA R K Chris Mountford, Chairman of the Friends of Cannizaro Park, explains

H

ave you recently strolled in Cannizaro Park beside Wimbledon Common? The Park is a hidden secret but one that we would love to share with you. The Park is home to hundreds of rare trees and plants, and its many blooms are magnificent throughout the year. The Park lies behind Cannizaro House, is owned by Merton Council, and is for the use and enjoyment of the whole community. Past and present budget cuts have created the need for a group of local volunteers, The Friends of Cannizaro Park, to raise money to help maintain the park and, in partnership with Merton Council, undertake ambitious restoration projects. These include: the commissioning of the Millennium Fountain near the entrance;

the renovation of the Water Garden; the creation of the walled Herb Garden; and, most recently, the refurbishment of the Aviary. The Friends have also worked with Cannizaro House to create the stunning floral displays in the Sunken Garden.

"The park is home to hundreds of rare trees and plants." We are grateful to the group of local volunteers who, under guidance from Anne Peacock, regularly carry out a range of vital and practical activities on the gardens. Another volunteer, Alison Young, cares for the rescue birds in the newly refurbished Aviary. The latest project being planned is the restoration of the Italian

Refurbished Aviary

Garden. Chris reminds us: "This will be very costly and any offers of further sponsorship would be gratefully received and would bring lasting benefits to the community.” The future of this exceptional local treasure depends on local voluntary support and we invite you to join our efforts to keep Cannizaro Park as a place of peace, beauty and tranquillity for generations to come. Annual membership costs just £10 per household. If you would like to help our Park in any way please contact us on our website: www.cannizaropark.com

Sunken Garden

darlingmagazine.co.uk | feb-march 2015

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Business support

Open your own business

Are you seriously thinking about starting your own business? Did you know, the Merton Business Support Service offers a range of subsidised business services and training programmes to help you launch your new business?

With tailored business support, oneon-one advice, workshops, networking, training courses and business resources let

Merton Business Support Service make your ideas a reality this year.

become your own boss,

turn your idea into a success,

realise your potential! Contact our business advisers to see how we can help.

020 8619 0700

mertonbusinesssupport.co.uk

helpdesk@mertonbusinesssupport.co.uk

We run a business helpdesk, referral system and have a team of business advisers who can help with your business enquiries. During 2014 our team has helped launch over 60 new businesses! If you would like ongoing support, register for £25 and access our business support

The Merton Business Support Service is financially supported by The London Borough of Merton

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New spaces available in Wimbledon! Due to popular demand, get in touch to find out more!

• Day care, boarding, grooming • Acres of private, fenced fields • Constant supervision • Heated indoor areas • Swimming pools • Agility course

0207 205 2230 www.brucesdoggydaycare.co.uk


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sep-oct 2013 | darlingmagazine.co.uk

Darling-Wim sep-oct 2013.1.indd 20

WIMBLEDON GUILD SERVICES

25/08/2013 19:53 embrace change for your body with our strategic approach to better health...

The Wimbledon Guild aims to help local people lead a better life by tackling poverty, supporting ageing and encouraging mental well-being throughout the Borough of Merton. How we do this: •

Counselling services (for all ages)

A small grants programme

Over 50s: activities, classes, talks, excursions

Help people who are less mobile

Help older people stay at home for longer

Guild Café has a variety of food

A handyperson service

Furniture recycling

Free independent and professional advice

A charity shop furniture recycling service

wimbledonguild.co.uk

...and experience undeniable results Private sessions just for you, or semi-private for two, to small group In our state of the art Pilates Studio in Wimbledon, we will give you the time, the space and the tools to learn to move intelligently and thoughtfully, and

www.thepilatesclinic.com

7 Elm Grove, Wimbledon, SW19 4HE - 020 8947 8601


BETTER THAN EVER WITH £1.45 MILLION INVESTED

BOOK A CLUB VISIT TO SEE WHAT’S NEW TODAY. CALL 0844 848 4732 OR VISIT DAVIDLLOYD.CO.UK/RAYNESPARK Whatever the weather, David Lloyd Raynes Park has everything you need to make a positive start this January, including a revolutionary new gym and luxury hydro spa.

Terms and conditions apply. Facilities, fees, classes and membership contracts vary by club. Certain activities may incur additional fees.


Funny Man, Rob Murray Editor Karine Torr caught up with this talented, local cartoonist recently to see what makes him gag

I

’ve been a professional cartoonist for the past six years, having first been published in The Spectator in early 2008 and then in Private Eye a few weeks later. Among other clients, I now also do a regular cartoon for The Sunday Times each week.

something different – and it’s a really supportive community in which people are always happy to offer advice and share ideas. Twice a year, we open the doors of our studios to the public and invite them in to see what we do and how we work – and it means we’re able to sell our art directly. As a gag cartoonist, I take inspiration from all over the place – and Wimbledon is a great place to work and socialise. I’ll often take a notebook out to a coffee shop during the day and let my mind wander, getting it all down on paper until I have enough decent ideas to submit to the magazines.

For the last two years I’ve worked from Wimbledon Art Studios, which is just off Garratt Lane behind Wimbledon Stadium. The studios provide a workspace for around 230 artists including painters, sculptors, illustrators, designers, photographers and many more. It’s an amazing place – a real gem that a lot of local people probably don’t even know exists. It’s great to be surrounded by so many creative people, all doing

Turkish eggs! – or if I’m further down the hill I might work from Bill’s (where most of the staff now seem to know me as that chap who’s always doodling). I also like to rummage on the shelves at Copperfield’s across the road – a great example of a musty secondhand bookshop overflowing with obscure and unusual finds. Dim sum at Confucius on the Broadway is a frequent treat on Sunday mornings, and we like San Lorenzo for good Italian food in a family-run place. robmurraycartoons.com

Rob will be taking part in the next Open Studios event at Wimbledon Art Studios, 14th-17th May.

Here are some of my favourite local haunts. In Wimbledon Village I’ll pop to Brew – try the darlingmagazine.co.uk | feb-march 2015

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Nine day Literary Festival in Join us for its seventh year. A gem Knit &on 10.00 a.m. - 4.30 p.m. Knatter theMonday Wimbledon calendar. - Saturday Bookings essential. 130 Arthur Road, Wimbledon, SW19 8AA 020 8944 6488

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Wimbledonbookfest.org


Opera must triumph over war Says Ellen Kent, award-winning opera producer

A

ward-winning opera producer Ellen Kent is determined to see opera triumph over war as she brings Eastern Europe talent to Wimbledon with stunning performances of Madama Butterfly and Rigoletto. During preparations for this autumn's tour with the Ukrainian National Opera in Kharkiv, Ellen was caught just six miles from a very bloody civil war. Warned by the British Foreign Office not to travel due to fatalities, bombings and kidnappings, Ellen still managed to transport the complete sets, props and costumes out of the area. Focussing on overcoming the

difficulties of the conflict, Ellen has brought together a new company including Ukrainians, Moldovans and Russians, working together in harmony, to bring a heart-wrenchingly emotional production of Puccini's popular Madama Butterfly, and the dramatic tragedy Rigoletto, complete with a live golden eagle, hunting dogs and naked women. With magnificent sets and handpicked soloists from the national operas of Odessa, Spain and Rostov, the shows visit the New Wimbledon Theatre in Wimbledon on 11th February (Rigoletto) and 12th February (Butterfly).

Tickets are on sale now from the box office on 0844 871 7646.

darlingmagazine.co.uk | feb-march 2015

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TechniQuest Technology Consulting and our partner Meridian Audio are delighted to sponsor The Borodin Quartet at the Wimbledon International Music Festival “The Borodin’s utter ease in this music is astonishing. They know instinctively how to let every phrase breathe.” —The Guardian

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ST RAPHAEL’S ANNUAL CHARITY BALL HELD AT THE GLITTERING HURLINGHAM CLUB

N THE SCENE

L-R: Belinda Eriksson, Marisa Hessian and Ollie Holtby

Alexander Weaver (Opera Singer) and Elizabeth Mucha

L-R: Jo Miller, Jen Craven and Jo Smedley

L-R: Elizabeth Bottriell, Janet Witham, Keith Witham (Director of St Raphael’s), Richard Cummins and Fiona Payne

Special guest Johnny Vaughan & performer, Malory Torr

SEEN AT THE POPULAR ATHENA XMAS PARTY

23 year old Katharine Thomas from Wimbledon is a finalist in the national Gardening Against The Odds Awards, run by The Conservation Foundation. Winners will be announced in April.

L-R: Sarah Jupp, Kirsty McMorron, Maria Mar POLE ANNUAL XMAS CLIENT BASH

L-R: Kim Peacock, Carol Andrews, Judith Pole, Christine Frazer and Clive Moon

ABOVE LEFT: Clare-Marie Jones, Julie Eltham, Carrie Cantor and Sally Strang ‘EMILY - LONDON’, NEW HATS IN SOUTHFIELDS LEFT: Sarah Gosling OBE, Emily Baxendale and her mom, Diana Birch

L-R: Nick McGough, Diane Mills and Fiona Jeffery OBE, Founder and Chairman of Just a Drop


JUDGE JUDY MURRAY AT KÖNIG KITCHEN TASTING MINCE PIES

DARLING’S SOUTH AFRICAN WOMEN’S NETWORKING EVENT

The Wimbledon Village Xmas shopping day saw Judy judging a baking competition with Robert Scalzo ably assisting!

L-R: Speaker, Julia Holbrook, Jeanie Doel, Main Speaker, Caroline Cook - Merton Chamber, Morena Byrne & Karine Torr

Photography Ronel van Zyl

L-R: Inge Berrie, Nina Moeller, Tracy Rissik, Shayna Clifford, Louise Edwards & Tam Jackson WARREN HOUSE PLAYS HOST TO ATHENA WOMEN’S NETWORKING EVENT Judy Murray and Mary Hogan MACMILLAN CHRISTMAS FAIR AT CHRIST CHURCH

Zoe Penny (Macmillan Merton Chairman), Cllr Agatha Akyigyina, Mayor of Merton, Simon Phillips, Director of Fundraising, Macmillan Cancer Support

L-R: Julie Walker, Claire Cotton-May, Mark Bradford (Marketing Warren House), Carolyn Henderson (GM Warren House), Tam Jackson & Angel Allright

PETER PAN EVENT FOR VIP’S AT THE POLKA THEATRE

LOCAL GIRLS GET TOGETHER FOR A STELLA & DOT PARTY

L-R: Amanda Cropper - Development Director, Actors Lori Hopkins and Krupa Pattani and Peter Glanville - Artistic Director

L-R: Alison Struthers, Brita von Plato (host), Jules Ryder-Smith, Tessa Wilson (Stella & Dot consultant) and Caroline Pearson-Wright


HART BROWN SOLICITOR’S END OF YEAR CLIENT FASHION EVENT AT HOBBS IN WIMBLEDON VILLAGE

L-R: Sally Burrows, Rosalyn Rahme, Joanna Gaudoin (fashion consultant), Eileen Carroll and Natalie Baur FRIENDS OF CANNIZARO PARK BRIDGE DRIVE

L-R: Hosts - Sharon Powell, Corinne Flannery, Yana Shubina, Kate Smith and Danielle Collett-Bruce

OPEN ART STUDIOS WITH ROB MURRAY & FRIENDS

WANT TO BE SEEN IN WIMBLEDON? SAME AD AS PG29 NOV PLS PUT GIRL ON TOPWant ANDtoCOPY be seen UNDERNEATH in Wimbledon? THX Advertise your business in darling today!

L-R: Pam Hinton, Den Anderson & Juliet Willis L-R: Tim & Suzanne O’Donnell, Derek Smith (Manager of the Wimbledon Art Studios), Rob Murray & Carina Karwatowski

darlingmagazine.co.uk

HOLLY LODGE CENTRE EVENT - JUNE WHITFIELD HIGH TEA AT CANNIZARO HOUSE

L-R: Lady Caroline McCowen, Brita von Plato, Jill Philpot and Jenny Gorringe STYLISH EVENT AT OPEN PLAN DESIGNS

L-R: Robert Scalzo, Adrian Mills, June Whitfield CBE, Joan Braune and Robert Holmes

Arlene Norton, Gus Kotei, Aggie Stylianou

Arlene Norton & Neil Norton

L-R: Rachel Angel, Bunty Lewis, Dr Pat Ealey MBE and Jo Hall

L-R: Amita Lovett, Lindsey Barraclough, Helen Reed and Liz Scalzo


SCHMIDT WIMBLEDON CHARITY BALL IN AID OF STEM4 HELD AT CANNIZARO HOUSE, RAISED AN IMPRESSIVE £21 702 FOR THIS LOCAL CHARITY

L-R: David Roy, Heather Bechman, Dr Nihara Krause, Charley Jones, L-R: STEM4 Trustees Jo Manley and Eddie Coombes, Kayley Ryan Marfleet, Benoit Mayen, Laura Hope and Emma Beckett Hackshaw - local business partner link, CEO Stem4, Dr. Nihara Krause, Trustees Emma Cariaga & Anne Martin OPENING OF THE PETER BLAKE EXHIBITION AT THE HICKS GALLERY ON LEOPOLD ROAD

L-R: Charley Jones, Dr. Nihara Krause and Ryan Marfleet, Schmidt Kitchens MD

L-R: Lady Chrissie Blake, Bruce McLean, Sir Peter Blake and Darling Editor Karine Torr

L-R: Kristina Gerdin, Richie Halliday, Sarah Fielding and EK Gerdin-Miosga

MACMILLAN ART EXHIBITION HELD AT THE VILLAGE TRUST GALLERY, LINGFIELD RD WITH LOCAL ARTISTS PARTICIPATING Left: Artists: L-R: Christopher Argyle, Ken Williams, Anita Wilson and Kirsty Asher Chapman Right: L-R: Olga Goldina, Aleona Kutsenko, Diana Holdsworth, Zoe Penny and Taylor Torr WIMBLEDON SOCIETY’S VOLUNTEERS’ XMAS

WIMBLEDON SOCIETY’S RICHARD MILWARD HISTORY ESSAY COMPETITION Picture Right: L-R: Sheila Mercieca, Jennifer Newman, Linda Defriez and Pamela Greenwood Picture left: L-R: Glenys Taylor, Runner Up, Monica Ellison (organiser) and Winner, Kirk Bannister


SPORTS SCIENCE/fit8 FUN RUN HELD AT THE WIMBLEDON RUGBY CLUB

QUESTION AIR’S STYLISH XMAS CHARITY EVENT

L-R: Lucas Farmer, Jake Murray, Lucy Ellis, Kaylee Dekker, Emma Klugman, Middle row: Liberty Viles, Kea Murray, Jessica Walker, Mary Klugman Front: Hannah Klugman

L-R: Fiona Macleod, Tracy Millard, Gabby Colvill, Rachel Hyatt, Lou Wills, T de Lorenzo and Dean Kincaid, store manager, front

Left L-R: The Franks family: Caroline, Katia, AJ and Jessica

TECHNIQUEST/MERIDIAN EVENT IN SUPPORT OF WIMBLEDON MUSIC FESTIVAL

At Techniquest Right: Richard Long and Jennifer Ison

SEASONS FLORISTS’ CHARITY CHRISTMAS SHOWCASE EXTRAVAGANZA Left: Antoinette Pulicino, Mari Lawrence from Seasons Florists, Jenny Spurway and Harry Cowd RIGHT: ORGANIC MASTERS GROUP SALON (OMG) ON CHURCH ROAD OPENS WITH A BANG FABULOUS & 40! LOCAL VINTAGE BIRTHDAY BASH

L-R: Katia Frank, Zaira Acevski, Jenny Walker (Birthday Girl) Marisa Hollowood and Isabella Murray

Above Right: L-R: Dan Holmes, Terry Mortlock (Director of John Masters range for UK & Europe) & Alex Mattiko Right: The team Maeve McCrossan (Manager of OMG), Cesar Galeano and Asma Khan

S.J. Holden, Vince Murphy (MD Techniquest), Mark Bibe (Chair of the Trustees of WIMF) & Hilary Leek


WIMBLEDON VILLAGE BUSINESS ASS. XMAS PARTY

SEEN AT WIMBLEDON VILLAGE STABLES’ ANNUAL CAROL CONCERT

L-R: Anna Bortsova, Elaine Maxwell, Liz Blackman, Lulu Chen, Lucy Woolhouse and Nenupher Clarke

L-R: Andrew Saville-Edells, Cormac Rawson, Jane Keery, Siobhan Kennedy and Jenny Saville-Edells

L-R: Terry Farant, David Frost, Pauline Mansfield & Robert Holmes

L-R: Kellie Williams-Jauvel with organisers, Wendy Grant, Teen Frazer and Sara Thain

L-R: Barbara Ruivo, Daniela Horton, Will Harper (current GM at Cannizaro) and Richard Holden

L-R: Jane Uglow, Teen Frazer with Crumpet and Carol Andrews

GINA CONWAY HALF PAGE COMING FRI OR MONDAY

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T&C’s - Please bring in this ad to receive your £20 off, not valid for hair services or retail and cannot be used with other offers. Wimbledon location only. Minimum £50 spend. Expires 13/03/2015.


legal – promo

WEALTH MANAGEMENT The Bank of Mum & Dad

I

t is not unusual today for grown up children to be living at home well into their late 20s and even early 30s. Indeed, it is a sad fact that for many the dream of buying one’s first home, or even a larger family home, particularly in south east England, is unlikely to ever become a reality. High rents and strict mortgage rules mean saving for a deposit or securing a mortgage is becoming ever more difficult, making parental assistance an attractive proposition. Step up the bank of Mum and Dad!

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In practice, for individuals seeking to implement wealth management measures into their estate, it could prove to be very tax efficient. If a deposit is provided to your children to assist them in purchasing their home, or for the purposes of carrying out improvements, it will be made free of inheritance tax provided you do not die within 7 years of making the payment. So far so good. However, if your child purchases, or already owns, their property with their partner or spouse, and they subsequently separate, what happens to your money and, if you are seeking for it to be returned to you, how do you avoid becoming embroiled in any litigation arising out of that separation?


Authorised and regulated by the Solicitors Regulation Authority (50788) Authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority

Kate Smith

1

Make sure that your intentions are clearly expressed to all parties before the monies are paid and that you fully understand the implications of your decision. For example, if it is your intention that the monies are a gift which you do not intend to be repaid, in the event of separation your contribution will be retained by them both, and shared in accordance with the way they own the property.

2

If it is your intention that the monies should be repaid at a later date, or in the event of separation, ensure that you have a Declaration of Trust or suitable Loan Agreement, drawn up by a solicitor before the purchase is completed, or the monies paid, clearly setting out the contribution you have made, the events that would give rise to the monies being returned to you and the terms of repayment.

3

Consider registering a legal charge over your child’s property similar to a mortgage to protect your interest, or even owning the property jointly with your child and their partner, or spouse, as tenants in common, until such time as the monies have been repaid.

4

If your child is proposing to cohabit with their partner, it would be advisable for them to consider entering into a cohabitation agreement; or if they are married, or anticipating marriage, a pre, or post nuptial agreement.

If the monies do come back to you it is equally important to seek advice from a solicitor at that stage as there are likely to be tax implications for you. You may also wish to consider some form of trust arrangement to provide extra protection.

Chris Thurlow

While the above measures may appear to be rather extreme, it is important to bear in mind that informal, often casual agreements, between family members can be the most difficult to address in the event of separation. Taking steps to protect your contributions from the outset not only makes good financial sense, it can also protect relationships, leaving you to focus on what’s really important; family. Kate Smith and Chris Thurlow will be running a seminar in 2015 dealing with the topic of wealth management. If you would like to register your interest to attend, please contact marketing@hartbrown.co.uk.

Further advice regarding family breakdown and tax planning can be obtained by contacting Kate Smith on: family@ hartbrown.co.uk and Chris Thurlow on: wills@hartbrown.co.uk. Alternatively you can call 0208 947 8171.

darlingmagazine.co.uk | feb-march 2015

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SAVVY DESIGN TIPS From absolute abode’s Kirsty McMorron

B

efore revamping any space, take a moment to consider how you would like to change the ambience of the room or the way that it is used. This is especially important to consider when you are working on a tight budget. To re-energise a space: consider purchasing a few accessories that will make a big impact. One way to lift a room and re-energise it is to introduce bright, bold colours. For example, consider purchasing a series of graphic prints and frame them simply or toss a colourful throw or scatter cushion on your sofa or armchair. If you would like to soften the space and create a relaxing ambience, diffusers and candles work very well. We have a lovely selection of textiles, homewares, furniture and accessories in a range of prices at absolute abode Emporium. For bathrooms: it is never ideal to open the door straight onto a toilet. Instead, place a basin or vanity unit with a bouquet, candles or another decorative feature to greet you when you enter the space. If you are working with a tight budget, consider decorating with foliage rather than flowers, as foliage will last longer and is just as elegant.

Try not to design a room in isolation from the rest of the house: rooms should flow seamlessly into one another, with colour schemes that are complementary and follow a similar style. When we work with clients, we spend time creating a concept and mood for the spaces we are designing. This can be an idea of how we would like the space to feel, to touch, to smell as well as how it will look and whether or not it will be of a contemporary, modern, traditional or eclectic look. This concept and mood is always inspired by our clients as it is important that the space reflects who they are and how they want to feel when inside the home. Please come and visit us at our café/emporium. Enjoy a delicious treat and browse our carefully curated design collection. absolute abode. Our passion, your place. 76 – 78 Coombe Lane Raynes Park SW20 0AX 020 8090 3212 absoluteabode.com

darlingmagazine.co.uk | feb-march 2015

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The Landscaping Consultants aim to deliver garden excellence and make the customer’s imagination a reality. We provide a comprehensive array of garden services including:

Whether you’re thinking of moving now or in the future, or you just want a free no obligation market appraisal, please call in to meet us or phone us today.

Brickwork Driveways Seating Solutions Fencing Irrigation Turfing

Garden Design Garden Storage Victorian Tiling Paving / Decking Pergola Water Features / Ponds

Grant Fuller Estate Agents, Valuers, Development Consultants 316a Worple Road West Wimbledon London SW20 8QU

07545 340554

020 8947 4764 www.fullergilbert.co.uk

www.thelandscapingconsultants.co.uk

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feb-march 2015 | darlingmagazine.

e: info@thelandscapingconsultants.co.uk @JacobTLC


building – promo

Start dreaming now! Paul Bryan local Wimbledon builder

A

fter a really cold and gloomy winter we’re all looking forward to the radiant yellow of the daffodils and some warmer weather. Unfortunately, there is still a bit of a wait for that, so why not utilise these colder months and plan what inspirational additions you can make to your home? At Haven Construction we would be happy to meet you in the evening and discuss the feasibility of these plans, draw them up and assist in cost effective ways of achieving the most out of your home. We offer you an all inclusive package and will

take your dreams and deliver the build you’ve always wanted. We are based in Wimbledon and have been delivering a high standard of work here and in South West London since 2005.

What sets us apart from many of our larger competitors is our small business ethos; we are able to provide a dependable, personalised service tailored to your exact requirements.

We specialise in loft conversions, extensions, full refurbishments and renovation work. No matter what your requirements, we will work with you every step of the way, from design to completion, on time and on budget.

So don’t get brought down by the weather, give us a call and let’s see what we can do to achieve that dream home.

We are also proud members of the Guild of Master Craftsmen, Tradesman Connect and the Federation of Small Businesses.

havenconstruction.net T: 020 3405 2404 Freephone: 0800 118 2446

darlingmagazine.co.uk | feb-march 2015

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THE FOREST BAILIFF LONDON’S STOCKIST FOR CLEARVIEW WOODBURNING STOVES

3 6 Dur h am Road , Lo n do n . S W 2 0 0 TW 0 2 0 8 9 4 7 5 1 1 5 | w w w.f o r e s t b a i l i f f.c o .u k


business

A H o m e f o r S ta r t- u p s David Fletcher chats to Karine Torr about his tech hub brainchild

B

ack in January 2014, I, like many others in London, was living the dream and working on my start-up… I didn’t have a permanent office space and worked ‘nomadically’ at Google Campus, at home and at a wide range of local and London coffeeshops where, subject to space availability, I could connect to a power point, use their Wi-Fi - as you may have guessed (and possibly experienced!), working between home and coffee shops can be a serious pain – no space, poor WiFi, limited power points and isolation can all quickly add up to frustration for the home/ start-up worker. It’s also a very ineffective way to work. So I decided to try and find a solution, one that would solve the problem for me and for others.

Whilst working in Wimbledon, I realised that it might be possible to set up a small hub for start-ups South of the river – in Wimbledon! Creating a community of like-minded co-workers, home-workers and start-ups would benefit all individuals using the space and also the wider community, especially if we could run free events and also offer innovation services to the wider borough of Merton! In January 2014, we ,opened Wimbletech Version 1.0 above the Wimbledon Library, offering affordable desk space for startups and co-workers as well as hosting free events (Hackathons) for members of the public (adults + children). From January to December 2014, with the help

and support of the Merton Futures Team, Merton Library Services, Facilities Team and founding Wimbletech members, we renovated a larger space, grew to over 50 members and hosted 25 x free events (Hackathons plus Networking) with over 100+ members of the public attending. Wimbletech Version 2.0 is now live and is a fully sustainable, council-backed, community minded, vibrant coworking, tech hub! ,

To learn more about Wimbletech and our events, visit wimbletech.com for more information.

darlingmagazine.co.uk | feb-march 2015

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BESPOKE KITCHENS & LIVING SPACES make your mark

We introduce top French interior designer at OPD Mathilde Kubisiak www.mathildekubisiak.com

Visit Our Showroom: 167 Arthur Road Wimbledon Park SW19 8AD Contact Us: T: 020 8715 5575 E: info@openplandesigns.com www.opddesigns.com


property – promo

Selling your proper ty in 2015?

Stephen Parsons, Head of Residential at local property agents andrew scott robertson, shares his advice

W

ith the General Election in May and the changes to stamp duty still fresh in people’s minds, it is looking increasingly likely that the property market will be very active at the beginning of the year and then lose momentum after Easter until as late as the Autumn. With this in mind, we are preparing to do everything possible to help our clients achieve a sale at the earliest opportunity and at the best possible price.

your agent take some ‘winter wonderland’ shots which can be added to your sales particulars and make sure your agent is not still using those photographs from last summer!

With the sense of optimism that a New Year brings, January and February are a great time to put your home on the market. The dark days and miserable British weather often persuades buyers to begin their property search and, last year, we were registering over 130 new buyers a week in January.

Add warm colours to your home through careful placement of soft furnishings and wall-hangings, to create a cosy refuge from the cold outside and, if you have a real or gas fire, make sure the flames are burning brightly during viewings. If you are no longer living in the property, our Home Staging service can turn an empty property into the most desirable home on the market by transforming it into a space buyers or tenants can see themselves living in.

Whilst the weather outside may not be; your property should be inviting, memorable and stand out among the dozens of homes that potential buyers or tenants are viewing. If it’s snowing, don’t miss the opportunity to have

"Your property should be inviting, memorable and stand out among the dozens of homes that potential buyers are viewing”

Selling a home requires knowledge of the local market,

experience in negotiations and the know-how that only an independent agent like ourselves can bring.

If you are considering selling or letting your property, contact andrew scott robertson on 020 8971 3800 (Town) / 020 8971 6780 (Village) or email: residential@as-r.co.uk

darlingmagazine.co.uk | feb-march 2015

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bridge

LET’S GO SLAMMING WITH PAUL MENDELSON, DARLING’S BRIDGE GURU!

Creating Connections Inspiring Success

Hampton Court, Kingston, Surbiton,Thames Ditton, Balham, Putney, Streatham and Wimbledon Wimbledon, Putney, Balham, Kingston,

Let’s start the year with slams, and an often misunderstood - and frequently mispronounced, bid – the Quantitative Raise.

EMAIL julie.eltham@theathenanetwork.com www.theathenanetwork.com EMAIL julie@theathenanetwork.com HELPFUL WIMBLEDON WEBSITES Love Wimbledon HELPFUL WIMBLEDON WEBSITES www.lovewimbledon.org Love Wimbledon London Borough of Merton www.lovewimbledon.org www.merton.gov.uk London Borough of Merton Citizen’s Advice Bureau www.merton.gov.uk www.nacab.org.uk Citizen’s Advice Bureau Merton Chamber of Commerce www.nacab.org.uk www.mertonchamber.co.uk Merton Chamber of Commerce Wimbledon Civic Forum www.mertonchamber.co.uk Wimbledon Town Centre www.wimbledoncivicforum.org.uk www.wimbledontowncentre.co.uk Wimbledon Society Wimbledon Civic Forum www.wimbledonsociety.org.uk www.wimbledoncivicforum.org.uk The Wimbledon Museum Wimbledon Society www.wimbledonmuseum.org.uk www.wimbledonmuseum.org.uk Wimbledon Community Centre Wimbledon Community Centre www.wimbledoncommunity.org.uk www.wimbledoncommunity.org.uk Volunteer Volunteer Centre Centre Merton Merton www.volunteercentremerton.org.uk Learning & Skills Council Charity Commission www.lsc.gov.uk www.charitycommission.gov.uk Charity Commission Wimbledon Choral Society www.charitycommission.gov.uk www.wimbledon-choral.org.uk Wimbledon Music Diary Local Police/Neighbourhood Watch www.wimbledonmusicdiary.com www.met.police.uk/saferneighbourhoods Wimbledon Choral Society The Wimbledon Guild www.wimbledon-choral.org.uk www.wimbledonguild.co.uk Local Police/Neighbourhood Watch Care Connect www.met.police.uk/saferneighbourhoods www.merton.gov.uk/living/care/careconnect The Wimbledon Guild www.wimbledonguild.co.uk Centre Court Care Connect www.centrecourtshopping.co.uk www.merton.gov.uk/living/care/careconnect IMPORTANT NUMBERS www.centrecourtshopping.co.uk Wimbledon Police St George’s Hospital 020 8947 1212 or (999) 020 8672 1255 IMPORTANT NUMBERS Merton Council Kingston Hospital Wimbledon Police St George’s Hospital 020 8947 8274 1212 4901 or (999) 020 020 020 8546 8672 7711 1255 NHS Emergency National Merton Council KingstonRail Hospital 111 8274 4901 08457 484950 020 020 8546 7711 NHS DIRECT National Rail 0845 4647 08457 484950 Sponsored by The Athena Network

Surbiton, Streatham and Hampton Court

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feb-march 2012 | darlingmagazine.co.uk

North COLLECT COPIES AT OUR “HOTSPOTS” S Q106

H AKJ4 * Nicholas & Steele 78 Durham Rd D KJ7 Tel: 07947 011879

C AK10 East West * Maison St. Cassien, Wimbledon Village S 854 S J932Tel: 020 8944 1200 H 3 H 1096 D Q109642 D 85 * Southfields Gallery 223 Wimbledon Park Rd C 965 C 32 Tel: 07947 675 059

South * Truckles Deli on Coombe Lane SW20 S AK7 Tel: 020 8605 2175

H 3

D Q109642 * Aromatica Italian Deli on Leopold Rd C 965 Tel: 020 8944 0309

Dealer South

N/S Game

Please call first to check stocks

N 2NT 7NT

E NB

S 5NT

W NB

To bid 4NT directly over an opening bid of 1NT or 2NT, or later in the auction over a higher NT rebid is never Blackwood, since a suit has not been agreed. Instead it is a Quantitative Raise. The target pointcount for a small slam in NTs is 33/34pts; for a grand slam 37pts+. A Quantitative Raise tells partner that you have sufficient points for 4NT if she is minimum for her range, but enough for the slam if she is maximum for her raise. So, in response to a 1NT (12-14pts) opening, you would bid 4NT on 19/20pts. If partner has 12pts, you are short of your target for the slam, so your partner passes; if she holds 14pts, you have the recommended point count and can bid 6NT. Over 2NT, you would respond 4NT with 11/12pts or make a ‘Super Quantitative Raise’ to 5NT with 15/16pts. That bid says: bid 6NT on a minimum, but bid 7NT on a maximum 2NT opener. Although it comes up rarely, to get it right is particularly satisfying, as it was on this hand just at the end of last year. aceoftrumps.com


Time on Your Hands? Want to help make a difference to someone’s life?

Sue takes Joan to Cannizaro House for a walk every day and a coffee in the Orangery.

Diana helps Margery walk to the Village to buy fresh fruit and her favourite marmalade from Bayley and Sage.

Brenda helps Mary to keep her fingers green in her cottage garden just up the road from the All England Tennis Club.

Laura is a regular at Bentalls, with style conscious Elsie, shopping for fashions followed by a bowl of soup in their favourite café.

Sandra shares Betty’s love of Richmond Park and takes her to feed the ducks and for a sneaky cup of tea at Pembroke Lodge.

Elaine does the cooking and drives Carol to her appointments at the Cancer Centre on Parkside.

Home Instead looks after people at home with care and compassion. If you’d like to join our fantastic team of Caregivers

contact us today on 020 8942 4137 or email: wimbledon@homeinstead.co.uk HOME INSTEAD SENIOR CARE, WIMBLEDON AND KINGSTON

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             Curious? Creative? Collaborative? Run an exciting business from home. Darling Magazine is looking for women who want to make a difference in their communities. With franchises well-established in Wimbledon, Kingston and Cobham & Esher, we're now looking to expand into other areas. Email Karine Torr on info@darlingmagazine.co.uk

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point of view

A Bit of Give and Take By Kate Greenhalgh

V

alentine’s Day. Time for togetherness. Which is all very well in the first flush of love’s young dream, but, as long-married female friends complain, a bit of a problem further down the line. Just as the fruit of their loins have reached 18 and left, just when they have a bit of free time to indulge in yoga, painting, other pointless stuff, (hooray! Me, me, me!) that is the same moment that their husband lovingly decides to stop being a workaholic and spend more time at home, ‘to help’. This is when ‘togetherness’ falls down as a concept. ‘Helping’ primarily involves him pottering around the house meddling with things which have run perfectly well without him for 20 years, and asking what is for lunch. Lunch! It’s amazing there aren’t more men bludgeoned over the head by their wives with a frozen cod. Word to the wise – if you want lunch guys, do not ask your wife. ASK THE LUNCH FAIRY. From the other side of the romantic dynamic, though, I know of men who wander aimlessly around Wimbledon, and sit on benches playing Candy Crush, because

they don’t dare go home before it’s time for them to cook the dinner. From those long-ago days of early domestic rapture, the marital home has morphed imperceptibly into his wife’s Reich; every available surface covered with framed photographs of The Children – the wedding photos packed away, a dusty embarrassment, (Those hairstyles! Those bridesmaids!) The fridge magnet bears the ominously passagg legend, “If you did as you were told, I wouldn’t have to be so bossy.” And every night is Book Club night.

chance to celebrate this golden age of marriage, or as one misty-eyed friend touchingly described the deep connubial bond, “We decided we couldn’t be bothered to get divorced.” All sorts of new horizons open up – shared hobbies, travel, banishment to the garden shed. I’m going to end on a helpful tip to all men going forward in this merry war, armed with their propitiatory bunches of red roses. As the Wife of Bath’s tale shows, to the eternal question, “What do women want?” the simple answer is…. power.

But Valentine’s Day is a chance to overleap the ingrained attitudes, a

Now you know. It’s just how it is. Happy Valentine’s!

46 feb–march 2015 | darlingmagazine.co.uk


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