Darling Magazine - Kingston Autumn 2018

darling AUTUMN 2018 PRICELESS

inspiring women

MARIAM MAJID our Inspiring Woman of many talents

TOO COOL for school autumn style edit Leah Chowdry's Channel swim Put the shine back into your relationship

Back to school • • •

play like a girl schools in focus try something new

What's next after #MeToo Local female filmmakers are making their mark Smooth away THE YEARS with the A-Lift

living in KINGSTON, SURBITON & TEDDINGTON | darlingmagazine.co.uk

Tennis by the Thames A private, friendly club for all ages in an idyllic location

At the Kingston Riverside Club we warmly welcome players of all standards and ages.

Our newly upgraded facilities include covered, floodlit courts enabling play throughout the year, a modern clubhouse with a bar, showers and changing rooms and a private car park for our members.

We offer two different types of court surfaces: Macadam hard courts for faster play and clay courts which are softer, limiting impact on ankle, knee and hip joints.

Why not pop in and see us – the entrance to the club is at the junction of Lower Ham Road and Lower Kings Road in Kingston.

Professional coaching for all levels of tennis players Children’s tennis camps during holidays Social tennis, events & tournaments Call 020 8546 5935

kingstonriversideclub.org info@kingstonriversideclub.org Lower Ham Road, Kingston, Surrey, KT2 5AJ

editor’s letter Dear Darling reader, As the memories of our summer holidays fade with the shortening days, there’s no better way to grab the long cold months ahead by the horns than throwing yourself, and your offspring, into a new hobby. Wet-felt making or dance and drama classes for the kids?

Or cricket, football or rugby? Girls are joining the boys and loving it. The independent schools in our guide offer a wealth of extra curricular options on top of their excellent academic teaching.

Cover: Mariam Majid Photography by Gail Fogarty gailfogarty.co.uk Makeup by Rakhi Purohit 07951 156 754

Publisher Darling Magazine UK Karine Torr Editor Marja-Leena Toseland All Enquiries 07802 949836 Email kingston@ darlingmagazine.co.uk Contributors Lyndsay Russell, Paul Mendelson, Dr Mariette Jansen Photography

Gail Fogarty gailfogarty.co.uk

Design Anu West apila.co.uk Printer Aquatint scott@aquatint.co.uk Distribution Three Colours Ltd info@3colours.co.uk Darling Wimbledon Karine Torr: 07930 396356 Darling Richmond Marja-Leena Toseland 07802 949836 Darling North Surrey Karine Torr: 07930 396356 Marja-Leena Toseland 07802 949836 Whilst every care has been taken to ensure that the data in this publication is accurate, neither the publisher nor its editorial contributors can accept, and hereby disclaim, any liability to any party to loss or damage caused by errors or omissions resulting from negligence, accident or any other cause. Darling Magazine does not officially endorse any advertising material included within this publication. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form – electronic, recording or otherwise, without prior permission from the publisher.

For an instant mood-lifter, turn to our autumn fashion edit for this season’s hottest trends. If the hot summer days, and rosé-fuelled evenings have left their mark on your skin you need a super facial! The latest treatments will put a smile on your face, trust me on this; I tried the age-reversing A-Lift at Complexshone and left feeling and looking years younger.

Darling celebrates women who inspire others: Our Inspiring Woman Mariam Majid is a multitalented creative force, currently filming a short film and also finalising the Pakistan installation for the London Design Biannale. Local artist Hanna ten Doornkaat is heading to Venice for the 2019 Biannale. The #MeToo movement started in October last year and has had a huge impact on code of conduct, especially in the workplace. The film industry has been in the centre of this debate. We asked four successful female filmmakers What’s Next? Leah Chowdry swam the English Channel and raised a staggering £135,000 for Cancer Research UK. Suzanne Ruggles' is another truly inspirational story of following your calling and of perseverance. I’ve been busy snapping fabulous photos for our 'On the Scene' pages, have you been papped?

Make the most of your autumn. Until the start of the Christmas season...

Marja-Leena Toseland

Editor| kingston@darlingmagazine.co.uk

CONTENTS 3 Editor's letter 5 Mariam Majid - our Inspiring Woman 9 A-lift, the fantastic age reversing facial 10 Our fantastic local female filmmakers 11 This season’s hottest fashion 15 Helping with nightmares - Lise Andersen’s new book 15 On the footsteps of The Rolling Stones and Rod Stewart 16 Local schools in focus 16 Try something new this autumn 18 Girls taking over boys’ sports and loving it 20 Leah makes a splash across the English Channel 23 Put the shine back on your relationship with the help of Dr De-Stress 24 Moore Blatch advises on divorce law 25 Kingston artist Hanna ten Doornkaat is heading for the Venice Biannale 27 Kids Come First helps families cope with separation 27 Momentum Children’s Cancer Charity is going for gold 30 On the Scene with our editor 36 What’s On this autumn?

37 Paul Mendelson’s bridge column 38 Lyndsay Russell's Point of View

darlingmagazine.co.uk AUTUMN 2018

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When was the last time you ‘hit the pause button’ to do something purely for yourself ?

We’re incredibly good at doing all the things that ‘need’ doing like planning for our kids, arranging family holidays, managing our homes, ensuring there’s food in the cupboards and completing work on time - but more often than not, we’re too busy ‘doing’ to notice that we haven’t invested enough time on our own health and wellbeing.

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inspiring woman

Mariam Majid

Talented all-round creative challenging patriarchal stereotypes

Darling editor met with Mariam at her Kingston Vale home

T

rained sculptor turned set designer, writer, producer, director and the co-creator in their husband and wife theatre and film company, 'Wagging Tongues Productions' (WTP), for which she wrote and directed last year's sold-out theatre play, the Jungly Jadoogar series. She is currently working as the lead designer for Pakistan's stimulative installation at Somerset house for the London Design Biennale.

You have had a very varied career in arts.

Where does your passion for these different creative forms come from? “I grew up in Pakistan in an arty family with several painters. My maternal grandfather studied and sang classical Indian music. I studied fine art at university with sculpture as my major and moved to London to work after my studies. I found it impossible to be totally immersed in work as an artist whilst looking after a family - we have three children - but found writing as a creative release. I wrote for years and took writing courses and workshops,

Photo by Gail Fogarty

made many writer friends with whom I would meet to share my writing with. I wrote short stories and anything really but yearned

to write a novel. That practice I had over the years is helping enormously now when I’m working on scripts as I have the wealth

darlingmagazine.co.uk AUTUMN 2018

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inspiring woman

of my earlier stories to draw from.

I’ve just finished filming a short film in Pakistan, ‘A Night with Noor Jehan’. It’s about a boy, a street child, selling balloons outside a dilapidated cinema in the old part of Lahore. He is fascinated by the cinema and compares a transgender character, who visits the old cinema often, to the actress on the billboard.

They share a moment, where the boy helps her escape when she gets into trouble with the police, taking refuge in the cinema. The boy follows her in and they watch an old film together,

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connecting in that moment.

I have started writing a couple of feature films too. There aren’t enough British Asian films in the UK. I feel that’s really missing. We learn a lot from films as they can offer a different perspective. They can build a counter narrative to a lot of gloom and doom stories that dominate the media. The UK does a lot for diversity but the young lose their identity if there is no culture about their heritage on offer.”

Jungly Jadoogar was a children's production with the main character a princess who rescues the prince. Your

AUTUMN 2018 darlingmagazine.co.uk

previous short film, ‘Fairgrounds of My Mind’ was about a child escaping from trouble at home and travelling to a parallel world, a fairground, in his mind. Do you enjoy working with children the most?

“I never planned it that way. I just find myself working with children. I’m not sure where that’s coming from. There’s an honesty in children that we lose as adults. We are defined by our childhood.

My first production in the UK came about when I got tired of working on my novel and wanted a break so thought

inspiring woman why not write something for children. Soon after I had an opportunity to take part in a children’s theatre festival at The Olympia which was part of The Muslim Lifestyle Show. The response and feedback was extremely encouraging and we were asked to come back the following year and also to take part in the Karachi Literary Festival part of the Alchemy Festival at Southbank for which we needed to create a bespoke play due to the space we had available for performing. It was a great experience as we got to work with an animator, puppeteers and a prop designer.

Your productions promote South Asian culture and community as a progressive and a contributing part of the British society. Where does your inspiration to to do this come from?

“There is still a need to challenge stereotypes, not just in the mainstream UK population but also in our community. I want to flip traditional roles in my plays by portraying women and girls as the stronger characters. Both boys and girls need to experience and see alternatives to the patriarchal stereotypes, only then can they grow up feeling comfortable and natural with equal roles for both sexes.”

Congratulations for being chosen as the lead designer for the Pakistan Pavillion at the London

I feel it’s my responsibility, especially as I have avenues to bring these issues to larger groups of people and so that we eventually start owning the narrative.

Design Biennale. What main message do you want to convey through your installation?

“We’ve picked women artisans as the main theme as we wanted to show that there are women who are breadwinners, as well as being mothers and home-makers, and their husband and families are encouraging them. As a woman,

The UK does a lot for diversity but the young lose their identity if there is no culture about their heritage on offer

I take women’s stories personally and look at the people who never get noticed. I’m a strong believer in the concept of sisterhood and wanted to make these women who rarely get noticed the centrepiece of the installation. It’s a huge collage of garments made into 2D shapes. Around 100 women are working on the installation and each one is making a statement. We are celebrating these workers, the unnoticed people.

There is also imagery and a film inspired from their environment projected onto the garments. The moving image, as an universal medium, a common language, it’s perfect for the ‘Emotional States’ theme of the Bianalle. My aim is for visitors to leave with some kind of emotional reaction, feel immersed in it.”

Will we be seeing your productions closer to home, maybe at the Rose Theatre, any time soon?

“We have been so busy with the Somerset House project and the film that I haven’t had a chance to pursue theatre at all this year. We will take any great opportunity that comes our way!”

darlingmagazine.co.uk AUTUMN 2018

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beauty review

The latest anti-ageing facial shifts gear to

REVERSE AGEING

Darling editor visited Complexshone, a compact and stylish salon in North Kingston

S

am, the aesthetician and business owner, has years of experience in a multitude of beauty treatments, so I trusted her to recommend the best facial for my sun parched face. I was after a rejuvenating, rehydrating and lifting treatment. I’m definitely not anti ageing, but I wanted my treatment to be.

A-Lift After cleansing my skin Sam applied a gel that would help the Nano Current machine glide smoothly to ensure the electro-stimulation waves pulse through the skin. The A-lift works in phases; starting with lymphatic drainage then moving onto lifting and cell regeneration phases, of which there are two phases each in alternating sequence. I could see a definite lift immediately although the structure and elasticity of my skin will continue to improve for a while longer still, as new collagen and elastin is produced. I must say it left my skin feeling smooth and supple, looking rejuvenated. Even the deeper lines on my forehead were a lot less noticeable.

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women in film

WHAT'S NEXT? As movements such as Time’s Up and #MeToo continue to highlight inequality in the film industry, let’s look at what our local female filmmakers are up to

W

omen led the way at the Sundance Film Festival in London where twelve films from this year's Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah, were selected to be screened. The four-day festival showed a whole weekend of bold, female-focused stories.

With seven out of the twelve films showcased directed by women, along with a thrilling array of female leads on screen, the selection championed female voices and highlighted some of the broad and excellent women-led work.

Darling asked four local accomplished female filmmakers what's next for them and have they seen a shift for better opportunities?

Shamim Sharif and Hanan Kattan Enlightment Productions, Kingston “We’ve seen a huge shift in attitudes in the last year, especially in LA. We’re used to meet-

Shamim & Hanan with Charles Dance on set of Despite the Falling Snow

two women on very different sides of Trump’s America. We’ve always made complex stories that make women the protagonists, not the supporting cast - it’s great to see Hollywood catching up!”

Shamim and Hanan

ings where movie execs balk at lead roles for women, women of colour etc. But it’s changing.

Shamim’s fourth novel, The Athena Protocol, is about a rogue agency run by very international women and the lead character is LGBT - and it’ll be a lead title for Harper Collins young adult books in September 2019. Film interest in the book is high too. And our other movie project, Polarized, is a love story between 10

AUTUMN 2018 darlingmagazine.co.uk

Kate on set of Even When I Fall

Kate McLarnon Director at Postcode Films lives in Twickenham “At the moment I am concentrating on growing the slate of my production company Postcode Films and steering it towards documentary projects that really speak to all our values.

women in film

We have a majority of women filmmakers on our staff and our freelance books - in all roles from director to DOP to editor - and I love that. Over the past five years it's been a significant challenge balancing all the maternity leaves and the various physical and scheduling challenges that pregnancy has brought to the table for our team (at times we've had shoots with majority pregnant crew).

The tone and the force of the conversation has changed, making me hopeful. I think there's real momentum since #MeToo and people who would have turned a blind eye to protest are being forced to listen up more now, particularly those in established positions. Real change is not a sure thing but there has definitely been a shift in the profile of the conversations around women in film, and there is a coming together of various voices who have in the past been quieter on their own.”

Kate’s and co-director Sky Neal’s first feature Even When I Fall, was nominated for the BIFA Discovery Award and was part funded by the Sundance Documentary Film Fund (as well as the BFI of course and a Chicken and Egg Pictures grant - which is a fund directly benefitting women in film).This incredible documentary tells the story of young trafficing survivors who reclaim their performance skills by forming Nepal’s first circus, Circus Kathmandu.

Vanesa Bailey is a self-taught actress, writer and filmmaker based in Kingston. She has also scriptconsulted and cast other people’s projects.

Vanessa at the Darling Inspiring Woman shoot

“My first film, Seeing Him, is coming to the tail-end of its festival run, having won 12 awards so far. We are finalising my new short film, Bus Stop, a story of two strangers who find themselves at a bus stop and the unexpected journey they take together. I wrote the script over one, sleepless night and showed it to my husband the next day. He said “You should make it” so we did. I decided to direct this time as it was a new challenge for me and meant that I could be even further involved with the creative process as a whole.

There is a definite sense of camaraderie amongst indie filmmakers and my greatest supporters in practical and emotional terms have been both women and men. The women I know who are the most impressive filmmakers have a sense of humour about themselves and about filmmaking and have savage work ethics. They are often the women who have had to negotiate tough times in their lives, they possess a resilience and a determination and a sense of perspective. They find brilliant teams and they create beautiful work. And it shows in the stories they tell. I believe very strongly in creating your own opportunities. No one owes me anything and I like to earn the right to show my films to people.”

Vanessa on set of Bus Stop, photo by Christopher Frith

darlingmagazine.co.uk AUTUMN 2018

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fashion

Too cool for school Autumn is upon us. The glorious chaos of the summer holidays have been replaced with reassuring back-to-school routines. New shoes and school books signal that it's time for the fashion world to start a fresh new page and I'm excited to be able to share some of the highlights of the new season with you. As a stylist and personal shopper it's important to me that the clothes I choose with my clients not only look amazing, but each piece must also work hard, perhaps taking them from the school run to work and then with a couple of tweaks carry them through to an evening out.

A classic biker jacket and culottes can be brilliantly versatile. Throw on with a scarf for the morning dash.

Change your handbag and swap trainers for heels at the office, then simply add statement earrings and lipstick for an instant evening update.

A.M.

Oliver Bonas leopard print scarf £22

Paperchase rainbow mug £9

Hobbs Yasmin leather jacket £349 John Lewis Cashmere Neck Jumper, light grey £79 Oliver Bonas fur pom hair elastic £9 Modern Rarity hammered disc chain bracelet, gold £100 (exclusive to John Lewis)

Dune London Ducky backpack £75

Hush AW18 Ledbury trainers £149 Hush Keira olive culottes £22

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AUTUMN 2018 darlingmagazine.co.uk

fashion

Dorothy Perkins teal faux fur scarf £22 Oliver Bonas Laney mismatch star earrings £19.50

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Bobbi Brown luxe lip colour, matte, fever pitch £28 (exclusive to John Lewis)

John Lewis floral resin necklace, black £28

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John Lewis Lena leather cicle mini cross body bag, black £70

Hobbs leopard print belt £65

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author

psychology

S INC MONSTERS INC

ld Psychologist and long-time Darling caught up with Child Psychologist and long-time ersen onWoking children’s nightmares resident, Lisa Anderson on children’s nightmares

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or a long time the purpose of sleeping was a puzzle for scientists as they could see that the brain is just as active during sleep as during being awake. However we now know that while we are sleeping a lot of important processing, restoration, and strengthening occurs of both the body and the brain. The brain is being cleansed from waste products and a memory consolidation is taking place. During the day we experience a huge amount of input and the brain needs to sort and transfer these into the long term memory. This may be the reason why little children who learn and grow at a breath taking pace need so much Karine Torr Darling Editor, met up with Lise in Copenhagen where she nowsleep. lives

Karine Torr Darling Editor, met up with Lise in Copenhagen where she now lives

little children, have more nightmares than Dreaming is a normal and necessary process that adults. Most families will know the experience takes place when we sleep. Every parent knows of a child crying out in the middle of the night that their child is dreaming from the moment needing comfort from mum or dad because of they arrive in this world. When children reach a frightening nightmare. And most of us would the age of 3 years they sleep an average of 12 rather be without the nightmares. For some hours nightmares per day andturn of that 25%with is “REM families intoapprox. a problem sleep”, the stage of sleeping where dreaming the child waking up from a nightmares every occurs.

REM sleep occurssleep, several times during night or the child resisting being afraid of a full night’s sleep.

So research points to dreaming having a nightmare. Hence children and their being may for storing into already families need aand littleintegration help on learning how memory takingand place.

As the input we to held handle nightmares lessen their occurence. receivepsychologists during the day can be visual techniques or auditory Clinical have developed as well as tactile, so our dreams are visual that can easily be learned on how to handle as well as auditory and tactile.

Many of us willThese recognize nightmares and lessen their occurence. this from experience that after especially techniques have shown themselves to be effective eventful days wewith will both have children very vividand dreams and are now used adults during the night. struggling with nightmares.

little children, have more nightmares than adults. Most families will know the experience of a child crying out in the middle of the night needing comfort from mum or dad because of a frightening nightmare. And most of us would rather be without the nightmares. For some families nightmares turn into a problem with the child waking up from a nightmares every night or the child resisting sleep, being afraid of having a nightmare. Hence children and their families may need a little help on learning how to handle nightmares and lessen their occurence.

Clinical psychologists have developed techniques that can easily be learned on how to handle nightmares and lessen their occurence. These techniques have shown themselves to be effective and are now used with both children and adults struggling with nightmares.

Nightmares areofdreams that turn frightening.

“The Little book Bad Dreams - and how to Science has not been able to come up with get rid of them” is using these techniques.

It isan explanation as to why some dreams turn into written for children aged 4-8 years to help them nightmares.

Though fight their nightmares. The parent and the child serve ana are meant to read it together.dreams The contains purpose, number of enjoyable and funimportant tasks for the child turning to do. While doing these fundreams tasks, the child into is nightmares seems to learning how to fight nightmares and trying out have no additional these techniques. This is the kind of book many purpose.

We book also parents would say: “I wish I have had this know that nightmares when my children were little.” are normal and that psychologyforlittleones.com/eng/home children, especially

“The Little book of Bad Dreams - and how to get rid of them” is using these techniques. It is written for children aged 4-8 years to help them fight their nightmares. The parent and the child are meant to read it together. The contains a number of enjoyable and fun tasks for the child to do. While doing these fun tasks, the child is learning how to fight nightmares and trying out these techniques. This is the kind of book many parents would say: “I wish I have had this book when my children were little.”

darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 2018

psychologyforlittleones.com/eng/home

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darlingmagazine.co.uk AUTUMN 2018

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schools

SCHOOLS in focus

find the best fit for your child broad education to all pupils enabling them to develop their academic, social, sporting and artistic attributes. This breadth and balance is one of the strengths of the School. The academic side underpins the education here, with the emphasis on the core areas in the early years spreading to an increasing range of subjects by the top end of the School.

“An excellent, all-round, happy prep school that brings out the best in all its boys.” King’s House parent.

King’s House School

Boy’s prep school ages 3-13 (girls in Nursery)

Regular Visitor Mornings: please contact the Registrar, Mrs S Bass for details, either by email or on 020 8940 1878

King’s House is a happy, lively, busy School where their pupils thrive. The School aims to offer a

68 King's Road, Richmond TW10 6ES 020 8948 0358 kingshouseschool.org

The Mall School

An independent day school in Twickenham for boys aged 4+ There is a strong belief that all pupils have potential and it is through inspirational teaching and excellent pastoral care that this potential can be developed in all their boys.

Non-selective at entry into Reception. Assessments are held for entry into other year groups, including an intake into Year 3 (7+) where the school expands to three forms per year. The boys go on to a range of senior schools including St Paul’s, KCS and Hampton and after 2019 all boys will leave at the end of Year 6 with a move to being an 11+ school.

Open mornings:

Wednesday 19 September, 9:00am Saturday 6 October, 9:30am

Wednesday 7 November, 9:30am (7+ and 8+ entry) Thursday 15 November, 9:00am (4+ Reception entry only) Email admissions@themallschool.org.uk to book your open morning place.

185 Hampton Road Twickenham TW2 5NQ | 020 8977 2523 themallschool.org.uk

TRY SOMETHING NEW this autumn!

Stagecoach are taking enrolments for the Autumn Term. Every student participates in drama, dance and singing classes - helping to develop confidence, physical awareness, communication and articulation - as well as being educational and lots of fun! In addition, opportunities for students to be offered professional work in film, theatre and modelling by the Stagecoach Agency.

Classes for 4-18 yrs. Book a two week trial: richmond@stagecoach.co.uk. (02083326741) or for Teddington and Twickenham: twickenham@stagecoach.co.uk (07824 999414).

Spooky, Halloween workshops - children can put on a show in a weekit promises to by creepy, crazy and creative! Book now. Spaces Limited!

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Reed’s School

HMC independent school for boys 11-16 For more information please visit reeds.surrey.sch.uk and girls 16-18 or contact admissions@reeds.surrey.sch.uk Set amongst 40 acres of countryside with ex01932 869001 cellent facilities, being part-boarding allows Sandy Lane, Cobham KT11 2ES

Rokeby School

Independent day school for boys aged 4-13 Rokeby’s central aim is for every boy to love learning and be kind in all that he does. We pride ourselves on the way in which we educate and support all of our boys. We focus on each and every boy. We want each boy to achieve his best in every area of learning so that they become smart, skilful and kind. Our boys leave us, for top senior schools, feeling confident and positive, happy and successful. Visit us to gain a ‘feel’ of the opportunities we have to offer your son.

AVID LLOYD LUB NEWS

over your “Why?” at David Lloyd

For more information visit www.rokebyschool. co.uk, or contact the registrar on 020 8942 2247 or e new schoolemail year admissions@rokeby.org.uk is and goals for the second half of pon us and thoughts the year, many of which will be art to turn to resolutions fitness related.

The Study Preparatory School

A prep school for girls aged 4-11 - celebrating 125 Years!

The school has come a long way since it was

Reed’s to offer huge advantages for day pupils, such as Manor House School wrap-around care and outstanding pastoral support, selective independent day school girls 4-16 allowingA each and every child to be known andfor valued.

A great school that inspires a passion for learning, The values-driven education that pupils experience at both within theexcellent classroom, that enables Reed’s equips themand not outside only with academic a childand to achieve more than skills they ever qualifications the interpersonal they thought will need possible.

Manor House, aim is tothey offer a for the was future, but it At ensures that whenthe they leave supportive yetmoral challenging environment will possess a strong compasslearning and a desire to go extensive into thealongside world andanimprove it. co-curricular enrichment programme. Pupils are encouraged to seek out new Open Mornings: experiences. They provide an all-rounded approach Saturday September 2018 friendly and nurturing to15th education in a warm, Saturday 10th November 2018 the school’s aim is to environment.

Ultimately, develop happy young who love coming to For more information pleasewomen visit reeds.surrey.sch.uk school and believe in their abilities to learn and or contact admissions@reeds.surrey.sch.uk succeed.

Sandy Lane, Cobham KT11 2ES | 01932 869001 reeds.surrey.sch.uk ‘An individual approach to academic success.’ #SurreyGirlsSchool

Your ‘why’ i These goals, powerful as they factor that w may seem at the moment of to the club a decision, invariably lose their would rather attraction when the alarm goes of the fire, a off at 5am on a cold October what will ma morning. It is all too easy to those things switch off the alarm and grab thought pos another 30 minutes in your Open Morning: Saturday, 6 October 09:30 warm, cosy,Coffee safe environment – 12:15. Headmaster’s Mornings: dates But how do than the somewhat throughout rather the year, seeface rokebyschool.co.uk more challenging of ‘why’? Our k George Road, Kingston uponoption Thames, pushing yourself at the gym. programme KT2 7PB | 020 8942 2247 | rokeby.org.uk That is unless you understand understand your by ‘why’. goals are im founded in 1893 a governess in the study of a family

home. As part of its celebrations, the school held two Alumnae parties in the summer. Live music, great food, and the rekindling of old friendships made the day a very memorable occasion! Now a highly successful non-selective prep school bordering leafy Wimbledon Common, the school is renowned for its creativity, nurturing ethos, and superb academic results at 11+. No less than 39 scholarships were offered to its Year 6 girls this year, beating last year’s record of 35. To book a visit, call 020 8947 6969 | thestudyprep.co.uk Wilberforce House, (Reception - Year 3), Camp Road, Wimbledon Common, London SW19 4UN Spencer House, (Year 4 - Year 6), 4 Peek Crescent, Wimbledon Village, London SW19 5ER

Discover Wet-Felting Fibre Art! Explore what you can create with sheep’s wool, soap and water! The pride you’ll feel when making your own piece of textiles is wonderful.The list of things to make is endless; a flower, a scarf, a bag, a hat, a picture… Whatever takes your fancy you will be able to take home something beautiful. Wet-felting is physical, but therapeutic. Patience required. No sewing involved. £60 a five hour session. Some techniques take two sessions. Dates by mutual arrangement: weekends and weekdays available.

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sports

Play Like a Girl…

Holly Candlish finds out how

Throwing like a girl, running like a girl and playing like a girl: all disparaging ways of putting women down; but not for much longer, if three local sports clubs have their say. Oxshott Royals Football Club, Esher Cricket Club and Cobham Rugby Club are amongst a growing number of traditional male sports clubs welcoming women into their ranks and investing time and money into coaching young women and girls to make sure that ‘playing like a girl’ becomes a battle cry.

Following the success of the England Women’s cricket team: not only winning the World Cup in 2017, but rightly earning the title of the BBC’s sports personality team in that same year, cricket is growing in popularity amongst girls in the area.

U15 England and Surrey player Ella Nigrelli (centre) from Cobham Rugby Club

Esher Cricket Club has seen numbers swell, from nine last year, to an impressive 58 strong membership this Summer. ‘We’re keen to invest in the girls’ teams,’ says Geoff Ellis, club chairman, ‘We moved girls’ training to Sunday mornings, picked our best young coach, Ben Collins and entered the girls into Winter

Cricket at Esher Cricket Club

leagues to keep the training up.’

But what’s in it for the girls? Judging by the enormous number training on a Sunday morning, there’s plenty to fire their enthusiasm. ‘My daughter watched cricket on TV and really wanted to learn,’ enthuses cricket mum, Rachel Pitts. ‘Lots of schools are dropping rounders in favour of cricket and at Esher, she’s learning new skills and a lot about teamwork.’

Oxshott Royals FC

18

AUTUMN 2018 darlingmagazine.co.uk

header

But cricket isn’t the only team sport that is growing in popularity: The Women’s FA Cup Final in May between rivals Chelsea and Arsenal attracted a record crowd of 45,423 to Wembley Stadium. Interest is set to increase with the Women’s Football World Cup in France, in June 2019, when England will have a second chance to make sure football is coming home.

Since 2014 Oxshott Royals FC has benefitted from the FA’s drive to invest in ground roots leading the club to visit local primary schools to introduce the game to girls. Director of football for Oxshott, Scott Rimmer, coaches boys and girls but notices a different mind-set between the two: ‘Girls are motivated differently, not just playing to win. They are more inquisitive, generally listen better and like to understand technique.’

With a growing number of girls’ teams and a calendar of social events at the club, there’s no shortage of opportunities to play a high level of sport and expand the girls’ social network. ‘We are launching a girls’ development programme on Sundays from 9.30am - 10.30am at Oxshott Village Sports Club and offering the first two sessions free of charge,’ he adds.

Arguably the most controversial sport played by women is rugby. However, in recent years, it has been championed by an ever-growing number of supporters and players and grown at an impressive rate since England won the 2014 Rugby World Cup. Cobham Rugby Club field teams in four age groups. They have a thriving girls’ section and

enjoyed success with their U15 team winning the area competition and qualifying for the nationals. There is an established pathway taking the girls through to higher levels of the sport with many of the girls playing for Surrey or the England development squad, now a Centre for Excellence at Harlequins.

One player who has followed this route is 15-year-old, Ella Nigrelli, ‘I’ve played rugby since I was four. I’ve got three older brothers, so I was bought up on a rugby pitch. I played for the U15 girls’ team and qualified for Surrey and England.

I play number No 8 and prop, but I prefer No 8 as it’s a more active position and I can run with the ball and use more skill on the pitch. I do like barging through people.’

Asked if she’s ever afraid, she says, ‘I get nervous when I see a scary opposition – but honestly school hockey is terrifying compared to rugby.’

According to Ella the opposition in rugby may be tough on the field but are always friendly off the pitch. She clearly loves the physicality and camaraderie of her chosen sport and dreams of a professional career in rugby.

But dreams of securing the kind of sponsorship and rewards of their male counterparts at present are just that – dreams. Yet, far from giving up on their goals, they should be reminded of Billie Jean King, who used sport for positive change and through talent and willpower secured a revolution in female sports remuneration. Let’s hope for Ella, and girls like her, that positive changes - however slowly - will occur in their chosen sports so that in the future they will be rewarded for their ability to ‘play like a girl’.

For membership enquiries contact: vicky.alexander@cobhamrugby.co.uk eshercc.co.uk oxshottroyalsfc.co.uk darlingmagazine.co.uk AUTUMN 2018

19

charity

DIVING IN

Leah Chowdry from Oxshott swims the English Channel 60,000 deaths. Overall, around a quarter of people with CLL will live at least five years after diagnosis. Though an incurable condition, treatment is constantly advancing. Leah’s aim is to help raise funds to ensure research into this condition is improved and hopefully her father, and others, will be cured.

Dedicated to the cause, Leah trained every day for two hours in lakes, Dover Harbour, swimming pools and Docklands.

Some interesting facts about swimming the Channel: Made it!

O

n the 7th July 2018, Leah Chowdhry completed the amazing feat of swimming the English Channel from Dover to France, taking 14 hours and 44 minutes. What makes this more remarkable is that Leah is one of the first British Asian women to do this challenge.

Local girl Leah has already raised £135,000 to help projects in India designed to educate young girls and end child sex trafficking and Cancer Research UK following her father’s diagnosis with Leukaemia two years ago.

The 26-year-old businesswoman by day has already defied the odds as the average age of a swimmer is 35. Only 1,833

20

• More people have climbed Mount Everest people have completed the 24-mile-long Channel swim which takes around 15 hours to complete.

Leah first witnessed a six-yearold cradling a baby and begging on the streets of India for food when she was around the same age. She was disturbed by the harsh reality that a girl of a similar age was protecting and nurturing another life, when both should have been cared for. This was a catalyst for her commitment to raising money for girls in India.

Then two years ago, Leah’s father was diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukaemia (CLL). It’s a condition that affected nearly 900,000 people globally in 2015 and resulted in around

AUTUMN 2018 darlingmagazine.co.uk

• Likely water temperature will be 14-18°C but could be as low as 6°C and night time air temperature is likely to be 10.6-13.9°C • The English Channel is one of the world’s busiest shipping regions. Due to the complications of avoiding tankards in the shipping channels and catching the tide at the right time, Leah ended up having to swim over 30 miles rather than the 26 miles that it would have been in a straight line • There are six species of jellyfish, one of which can be extremely painful and sometimes fatal. Leah was stung several times (there are six species). Leah said,

“More people have climbed Mount Everest”

Photography Leah Chowdhry

Leah finishes her swim

Leah in the middle of the Channel

“The jellyfish just wrapped themselves around my face and arms and I was literally battling to rip them of me.

I was left with lacerations which were extremely painful” • According to the Channel Swim Association restrictions, no physical contact is allowed with the swimmer, so energy drinks were passed to Leah

on a float attached to a lead every half an hour • Hypothermia is a big risk and there have also been some deaths • Dedicated to the cause, Leah trained every day for two hours in lakes, Dover Harbour, swimming pools and Docklands

A compassionate person since a child, Leah gave up fizzy drinks and sweets to raise money for blind children in India at the age of seven; worked in an orphanage at the age of 17 and raised £11,000 running the London Marathon.

For more information, contact leah@leahc.co.uk or 07956 007821

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mental health

mental health

couch with Dr De-Stress On the

Dr Mariette Jansen

‘My relationship has lost its shine’

A

ent and take control of happy relationship will make you

grow as an individual, happier with life and even live longer. But... what herapist, who is an off expert in helping started blissfully romantic might have al chat to find out how help changed by she now.can The sparkle has gone and 131 irritations and negativity have taken the shine away. The good news is that, as you are half of the relationship, you have a lot of power and just making a fewhas adjustments yourself, t can be veryby difficult to prove what youare will surprised d. However, you notbe doing yourself how any powerful you are.

y obsessing about revenge. Angry and negative Most common don’t allow you to move forward.sources Your wish of unhappiness e is understandable, but it alienates you from ‘I feel forI suggest granted nds, your partner andtaken yourself. youand not respected’ metaphorically a ‘split personality’. half told what to do?

Feeling put down, One criticised, ll look for professional to deal with your it happens? Do How oldhelp do you feel when emotions. Instead of obsessing start processing you respond as the child or teenager you are up your confidence. seek made toAlso, feel?

If the so,supyou are facilitating this specialised law firm thatthrough can take over from your feelings. situation engaging advice and execute be done.factually The Next what time,can respond and not emof of you sees tionally. this experience as a life lesson, herself and focuses on the future. A new job ark a new beginning and bring new positive nt to counteract the negative experience. You l feel that he won in the end, but if you don’t Dr Mariette Jansen - Dr De-Stress - is a anges to your mindset, guess who is the loser? lifeof coach, therapist, fair, but instead fighting itEFT you are better of blogger and expert in empowering women to take from it.

ACKS?

Dr Mariette Jansen

‘The fun is gone’ Life can take over with practical issues and thingsto-do lists. Are they really the most important thing? Bring fun back by breaking the ‘serious’ cycle. Laugh more, make light of life and organise more fun things.

‘I never have enough time for me’ Change your feelings around self-care. Everyone deserves me-time but often guilt and lack of determination get in the way. Define what you need each day or week, plan your action and don’t let anything get in the way. Communicate it assertively and enjoy your time. If you want to receive Dr Jansen’s FREE guide, The mindset for ME time, text the word Darling to 07967 717131 The quality of a relationship is down to two people and each play their role. Usually one might be seen as the instigator but the other party can take control by not facilitating unwanted behaviour.

control of their lives, overcome anxiety and build confidence. She offers a FREE GUIDE, The mindset for ME time to help you transform your life.

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darlingmagazine.co.uk AUTUMN 2018

23

legal promotion

Divorce law fact vs fiction

I

t’s a sad truth that, in my experience, many people don’t fully understand the complexity of our divorce laws. Too often when a relationship breaks down, the reality of divorce of our divorce laws can come as a shock. For example, a spouse who thinks that citing ‘irreconcilable differences’ can mean they can divorce by simple agreement may find that this is not always the case.

The existing laws surrounding divorce are old. The legislation covering divorce (the Matrimonial

24

By Victoria Walker, Partner, family solicitor

Causes Act) became law over 40 years ago on 1st January 1974 at a time when the average house cost £9,927, the first McDonald’s opened in the UK, ABBA won the Eurovision song contest with Waterloo, Lord Lucan disappeared, and there was a three day week to conserve electricity due to strikes by coal miners.

So much has changed since then, yet couples going through a divorce are still trying to navigate the same law.

As the law currently stands, one party can apply for a divorce if

AUTUMN 2018 darlingmagazine.co.uk

there has been an ‘irretrievable breakdown’ of the relationship.

However, to prove this you have to rely on a ‘fact’ – which could include adultery, behaviour, two years’ separation and consent to divorce, or five years’ separation and desertion.

A good example is the recent high-profile case of Owens v Owens.

Mrs Owens started her divorce in 2015 after being married to Mr Owens for 37 years.

She relied on his behaviour as her ‘fact’ to prove that

legal promotion

Victoria Walker

the marriage had irretrievably broken down.

This required Mrs Owens to show that her husband’s behaviour was such that she could not reasonably be expected to live with him. She argued that he prioritised work over home life and would often miss family holidays and family events, that he did not provide her with love and attention or affection, and that he didn’t support her in her role of homemaker and mother.

She also said that he suffered from mood swings which caused arguments, and that he had been unpleasant and disparaging about her to their family and friends.

Mr Owens defended the divorce, something that doesn’t happen very often these days and which most lawyers would advise against. After all, if someone doesn’t want to be with you, why force them to be?

Mrs Owens’ petition was dismissed in 2016. While the judge accepted the marriage had broken down and that Mrs Owens herself could not go on living with her husband, he was not convinced that her husband had behaved in such a way that she could not reasonably be expected to live with him.

The judge decided the allegations were flimsy and

that these were minor altercations which were to be expected in a marriage.

Mrs Owens subsequently appealed, and the Court of Appeal agreed with the previous judgement, and Mrs Owen’s appeal wasn’t allowed.

In his judgment, Sir James Munby was quite blunt “It is not a ground for divorce that you find yourself in a wretchedly unhappy marriage though some people say that it should be.” Despite Mrs Owens’ unhappy situation, Sir James thought the law had been correctly applied.

So what now?

The case then went to the highest court we have, the Supreme Court, and judgment was recently handed down.

Sadly, the court decided that Mrs Owens could not have her divorce, agreeing with the previous judgments given.

However, the court did recognise that divorce legislation is out of date and that parliament should look at reform.

Unfortunately for Mrs Owens, she now has to wait until 2020 before she can try to divorce her husband again – this time on the basis of five years’ separation. It will be interesting to see if Mr

Owens tries to defend that.

This case obviously has an impact on anyone who may be considering beginning divorce proceedings. For couples with international backgrounds, we could see a race to start proceedings in the country that is of most benefit to the spouse.

In light of Owens v Owens (and in contrast to how we would have previously advised), it may be worthwhile defending a petition and having it struck out now.

Additionally, for those initiating a divorce, more detailed reasons may be required for the divorce in the admittedly unlikely event your divorce is defended.

Most importantly, the case of Mr and Mrs Owens has not only shone a light on out of date divorce legislation, it also highlights the importance of seeking sound legal advice at the earliest stage. Divorce is undoubtedly an extremely tricky time. But when handled well, it shouldn’t be a protracted battle.

Victoria Walker, Partner victoria.walker@mooreblatch.com D: 020 8334 0315 2 The Green, Richmond London TW9 1PL T: 020 8744 0766 www.mooreblatch.com

darlingmagazine.co.uk AUTUMN 2018

25

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art

INNOVATION & POTENTIAL are not just for the young

T

his is particularly true when it comes to creativity, and in the past few years the art world has seen a small but growing number of mature artists get well deserved attention.

Kingston artist, German born Hanna ten Doornkaat is a committee member of artist initative KAOS (Kingston Artists Open Studios). She has been the driving force behind establishing and strengthening the relationship with artists in Oldenburg, Kingston’s twinning city in Germany where she took a group of Kingston artists to Oldenburg to exhibit in their gallery and reciprocally also helped curate an exhibition in the Kingston Museum Gallery in 2016.

She holds a BA (Sculpture) from Kingston University and MA (Sculpture) from Wimbledon School of Art (UAL). In 2016 her work was shortlisted for the Jerwood Drawing Prize, exhibited at the Royal Academy Summer Exhibition and selected for the Derwent Art Prize. In 2017, she was again part of the Royal Academy

Summer Exhibition as well as the ING Discerning Eye, Mall Galleries, London. So far in 2018 she had a solo exhibition at One Paved Court, Richmond and showed at a group exhibition in Rio, Brazil. Past exhibitions have taken her to Australia, Germa-ny, Canada and Belgium.

Hanna has been invited by the European Cultural Center Foundation to exhibit at the 2019 Venice Biennale, a dream for most artists. For this dream to come true for Hanna, she will have to raise €15,000 as her contribution to exhibit at a prestigious palazzo from May to November 2019.

What makes this opportunity particularly relevant and exciting is the group’s aim to show emerging and lesser known artists alongside well known and established names, and to bring together artists of all ages and from different cultural backgrounds.

She will again be showing and selling her work at the Other Art Fair this October and will also introduce rare tickets as part of her fundraising

campaign. The first prize will be one of her artworks; bound to rise in value after Venice. A great opportunity to acquire an original work of art for as little as £2.

She has also produced a special edition of small hashtag prints which will be used as a reward for donations of £5 or more through her website at tendoornkaat.co.uk/ fundraising-campaign

Artwork by Hanna

darlingmagazine.co.uk AUTUMN 2018

27

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families

Helping Families Cope with Separation and Divorce

D

ealing with divorce or separation is a dramatic, life-changing experience for everyone.

And if you have children, navigating your way through this complex, often unpredictable, journey can prove even more challenging.

While trying to resolve all the legal and financial implications of their separation, many parents find they may lose focus on how to address their children’s emotional needs.

Struggle with their own ‘loss’

emotions, your children are observing your responses and behaviour, and depending on you to be resilient and robust, just when you’re probably finding it hard to function at your best.

That’s why it’s so important to find the right specialist support as early as possible - because the better you cope, the better your kids will too!

Kids Come First offers child-focused support & training to suit parents at every stage of their separation. Our workshops provide practical guidance and advice on how to build a better co-parenting relationship and become a more positive parent.

Booking on a group or private workshop today benefits both you and your children so visit www.kidscomefirstuk.co.uk or call 0778 949 7275 for more info.

Go Gold in support of brave local children Momentum Children’s Charity is a local charity based in Kingston, that supports children with cancer and other serious illnesses and their families.

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month and they are asking everyone to Go Gold to honour the brave local children they look after.

Jessica, who is 3 years old, is currently undergoing treatment for Leukaemia. Jessica and her family are supported by Niki, their dedicated Family Support Worker from Momentum Children’s Charity. Niki has been blown away by Jessica’s attitude: “Jessica is an absolute delight. She always has a smile on her face, despite contending with a gruelling treatment programme. Her personality is so infectious.

She is so brave and so positive. I have loved getting to know her and I have especially enjoyed the tea parties!”.

Show your support by going gold: www.moment-um.org/gogold

Niki with Jessica

darlingmagazine.co.uk AUTUMN 2018

29

onthescene

with editor Marja-Leeea Toseland

IYAF ROYAL GALA NIGHT AT ROSE THEATRE

Mrs and Mr Mike Seigel, Chair of Kingston Tour Guides

Simone Kay and Kay Galbraith

Mayoress and Mayor of Kingston Thay Thayalan and Deputy Mayor Cllr Olivia Boult

Mariam Majid (our Inspiring Woman) with our editor Photos by Tangle Photography and Alex Tilling

Louise Coles (CEO of Creative Youth / organisers of IYAF) and HRH Prince Edward

HRH Prince Edward with Aniela Zaba (former Creative Director of IYAF)

Jerry Gunn and Sue Casey

Aniela Zaba with Simon Adrians,Tangle Photogrraphy

OPENING NIGHT AT IYAF FESTIVAL

Louise Coles (CEO Creative Youth), James Pickering, Colonel Geoffrey Godbold OBE (High Steward of RBK) and Julie Pickering (former Mayor of Kingston)

Robin Hutchinson MBE, Phil Hetherington, Alan Stevenson, Jeremy James Taylor and Colonel Geoffrey Godbold OBE

'ONE GOOD THING' FASHION EVENT AT THE LOUNGE, TWICKENHAM STUDIOS, IN AID OF SHOOTING STAR CHASE Photos by Loukia Photography

Heart & Capital FM DJ Kat Snoob provided music

WHAT'S HOT

Shooting Star Chase Patron Samantha Bond with Director of Fundraising Development, Karen Sugarman

Eagle FM Beverley Hunter compered at the event

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Our editor Marja-Leena and milliner Bee Smith

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Adam Standing, Daniela Capetti, Alisha Pandya, James Pleass and Charlie Selwyn

Ellie Outram, Wayne Collins, Jessica Brown and Leslie Claridge (owner of Queeny of England)

WARRENS BAKERY OPENED FOR PASTIES IN KINGSTON

Heather Cole, Fabrics Galore and Lesley Harvey

Ebony Barrett, Christos Metolan, Patricia Akosah and Nazma Jamal (owner)

KINGSTON BUSINESS EXPO ORGANISED BY KINGSTON CHAMBER OF COMMERCE

Lesley Vernon and Shabnam Ali, Royal Borough of Kingston

Jerry Irving, CEO/Kingston Chamber of Commerce; Anu West, Prabha Shetty, Wanda McFarlane and Amanda McLaughlin

Sarah Cornes, Natalie Crew and exhibitor from Fun Photos UK

Lucy ChoiTomlin, outside NatWest her boutique Rochelle wiht andour Tonieditor Flatt, Worldpay

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Sara Whitman and our editor Marja Leena

KINGSTON ARTISTS OPEN STUDIOS (KAOS)

Artists: Gunter Pueschel, Jo Ellis, Pauline Callais, Richard Atkinson and Seana Mercedes Mallen

Stuart Ganley, Adriana Brinsmead-Stockham, Marijke Booth and estelle Day

Ghislaine Brien and Peg Morris

PARTY TIME AT COCO HAIR & BEAUTY IN AID OF THE VICTORIA FOUNDATION

Lesley Benett, Sandra Becarelli, Jenny Meehan, Anna Tikhomirova, Lizzie Brewer, (front) Bali Edwards, Caroline Calascione and Ikuko Danby

Charmaine Mace, Koo Anand (owner, CoCo Hair & Beauty) and Rakhi Purohit (Darling makeup artist)

Sky Holland, Marja-LeenaToseland and Yulia Robinson

MOMENTUM WON BEST NOT-FOR-PROFIT ORGANISATION AT 'TOAST OF SURREY' BUSINESS AWARDS

Above: David and Charmaine Mace, Durban Street Food

Nicola O'Donnell collecting the award

Tara MacDowel, Kate Brookes, Jane Hawes, Nicola O'Donnell, Sarah Walsh, Natalie Harvey and Maria Stoney

Lorna Votier (The Victoria Foundation), Letizia Gorianz-Porta (Happy New Nails) and Valerie McBride-Munro (aka Auntie Planty)

KAOS ARTISTS PRINT MAKING WORKSHOP IN EDEN STREET

Adriana Brinsmead-Stockham, Kashmira Jhaveri , Peg Morris and Cressida Borrett

PEARSON HARDS SOLICITORS SUMMER PARTY IN NEW MALDEN

Claire Darby (Pearson Hards), Charmaine Mace (The Athena Network), Rob Hancock and Marcela BrocqMoreira

and Jerry Irving Christine Hards, Barbara Hudson, Jan Lipscombe and Niki McGibbon

Ian Lipscombe (Pearson Hards) and Jerry Irving CEO Kingston Chamber of COmmerce)

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Chris Lacey (Barclays Bank), Joy Barden and Hatice Mustafa (Pearson Hards)

Mark Goddard, Julie Smith and Brian Vandervilt

NORTH KINGSTON MUMS IN BUSINESS - SUMMER GET-TOGETHER AT THE QUEEN'S HEAD

Soc 5

Gill Jackson (Awesome Natural Skincare), Wendy Holmes, Kels Noades (photographer) Susannah Ackland (interior design), Sandra Beaurant ( Ditton Interiors) and Rachel Russell (consultant)

Lucy Spray (Lucy J Interiors) and Kashmira Jahveri

Claire Green (Thames Travel) and Shona Sinclair

Tanya Buck (health & wellnesscoach), Iris De La Iorre, Karen Barrett (photographer), Sophie Ainsley (architect) and Catherine Edsell (adventurer)

Marja-Leena Toseland, Sarah Campbell, (Parrott Book Club), Micala Sanson (Scarlet Digital Marketing) and Sally Ward (artist)

THE ATHENA NETWORK - WOMEN IN BUSINESS CELEBRATED AT RICHMOND GATE HOTEL

Lisa Woodward and Charmaine Mace The Athena Network Regional Direcors for Barnes and Richmond Boroughs)

Mary Sini, Isabel Neuwirth, Nuria Outeiral and Jane Curzon - The Victoria Foundation ambassadors

Margaret Guillen (business coach), Mariette Jansen (Dr De-Stress), Koo Anand (CoCo Hair & Beauty), Jane Curzon and Nuria Outeiral (both from The Victoria Foundation)

Mariette Jansen, Jaishree Manani (tarot cards) and Veronica Congdon (architect)

Sally Baker and Alina Tierney

Lizzie Shalliker and Patricia Campbell-Parker (Vital Wellbeing)

Valerie McBride-Munro (Auntie Planty), Yvonne Beach (Iceland Traveller), Joy Barden, Julia Jones (Iceland Traveller) and Anne Stanton (Captain Tortue)

Claire Darby (Pearson Hards Solicitors), Lou Tassell (Optimal Vitality) and Sue Harper (Rivercrane Framing)

SEETHING WELLS The Seething Trycyclingathon Sun 16 Sept, 10am – 4pm Cycle rides for all levels and fun celebrations.

Claremont Gardens, The Crescent, Surbiton Surbiton Ski Sunday & The Seething Luge Sun 14 Oct,11am-1pm For the 10th year people strap blocks of ice to their feet to ski down St Mark’s Hill or take to the Seething Luge St Marks Hill, by Surbiton Station The King's Soup Sun 14 Oct,1:30 - 4pm Come along and help cook and share the King’s Soup. Bring a leek or a potato if you can. Entertainment, stalls and charity bar Claremont Gardens, The Crescent, Surbiton Seethingwells.org Surbiton Festival Sat 29 Sept, 10am-5pm Live music, street food and activities for all ages. surbitonfestival.co.uk SURBITON FARMERS’ MARKET Sat 15 Sept, 20 Oct, 17 Nov, 9am - 1pm surbitonfarmersmarket.co.uk Richmond Run Fest Kew Gardens 10k, Sat 15 Sept Half and full marathons, Sun 16 Sept London’s most exclusive race, at no other time can you run a course within Kew Gardens. richmondrunfest.com THE NORMANSFIELD THEATRE, TEDDINGTON Carmen 15 Sept, 7:30-10pm 36

Richmond Opera: Acis and Galatea, and Don Quixote chez la Duchesse Fri 9, Sat 10 and Sun 11 Nov A double-bill of Handel’s tale of tragic love, Acis and Galatea, and Boismortier’s comedy Don Quixote chez la Duchesse.

Tickets £15 Teddington Artists Art Fair 29 - 30 Sept, 10am - 5pm Christmas Craft Fair 24 Nov, 11am - 4:30pm langdondowncentre.org.uk/ normansfield-theatre/ TEDDINGTON THEATRE CLUB Jeeves & Wooster in Perfect Nonsense Sat 15 Sep to Fri 21 Sep The Regina Monologues & Ladies in Waiting: The Judgement of Henry VIII Sun 7 Oct to Sat 13 Oct Pink Mist Sat 20 Oct to Fri 26 Oct Echoes of the War Wed 14 Nov to Sat 17 Nov teddingtontheatreclub.org.uk ROSE THEATRE Hogarth’s Progress: Double Bill Thu 13 Sept - Sun 21 Oct Jason Donovan & His Amazing Midlife Crisis Tue 09 Oct, 7:30pm Ballet Black: Double Bill Tue 30 Oct, 7:30pm Don Carlos Tue 6 Nov - Sat 17 Nov Hansel & Gretel Thu 6 Dec - Sun 6 Jan

For full listings and tickets: rosetheatrekingston.org AUTUMN 2018 darlingmagazine.co.uk

LANDMARK ARTS CENTRE Bring Your Own Baby Comedy Tue 18 Sept Paul Jones & Dave Kelly (fundraiser with supper) Sat 22 Sept Around the World in Six Wines (fundraiser) Fri 5 Oct Sparkle: Contemporary Craft and Gourmet Food Fair Fri 16 - Sun 18 Nov Surrey Sculpture Society Showcase Exhibition Thu 22 - Sun 25 Nov The Nutcracker Sat 8 - Sun 9 Dec landmarksartscentre.org THE CornerHOUSE Outside the Box comedy night James Acaster 4 Oct, 7:30 doors Honour Amongst Thieves 11 - 13 Oct, 7:30-9:30pm thecornerhouse.org HAMPTON COURT PALACE The Handmade Fair with Kirstie Allsopp 14-16 Sept, 9:30am-6pm Children’s book series Beast Quest comes to life. New immersive family experience 20 - 28 Oct hrp.org.uk Royal Borough of Kingston Half Marathon Sun 7 Oct, 8:30am Start and finish at the Market Place kingstonhalfmarathon.com

AUTUMN BRIDGE With Darling bridge guru, Paul Mendelson

bridge

Bridge is being played all over Wimbledon morning, noon and, without question, night.

This hand comes from a late night/early morning game of rubber bridge.

♠

North S 54 H AQ64 D 6432 C 875

West S 7 H 987 D 10985 C AKQ43

South S AKJ1086 H KJ2 D A C J106

♦ Dealer South N E 1NT

Missing Your darling Magazine?

East S Q932 H 1053 D KQJ7 C 92

♣

W NB

West led ♣AKQ and then switched to 10♦, which South won. The contract now rests on how South tackles his trump suit. Unfortunately for the declarer, he made a common mistake and it cost him the rubber. He laid down A♠, and then crossed to dummy’s A♥. He led a low spade and, when East played low, he finessed with J♠. This held the trick, but West showed out. With no other trump in dummy, declarer had to concede Q♠ to East.

COLLECT COPIES AT OUR 'HOTSPOTS' Please call first to check stocks Rose Theatre, 24-26 High Street, Kingston, Tel: 020 8546 6983 Fratelli Delicatessen, 55-57 Park Road, Kingston, Tel: 020 8549 8021 U.R.Beautiful, 1st Floor, Boots, 42 Union Street, Kingston, Tel: 020 8247 0386

If South had held nine cards between his two hands, laying down A♠ initially – in case West held a singleton Q♠ – would be the correct play but, with only eight cards between his two hands, the singleton Q♠ with West is most unlikely, whereas the 4-1 split will occur like this more often than one in ten times. The correct play therefore is to cross to dummy’s Q♥ and lead a low spade, finessing with 10♠. When this works, return to dummy with A♥ and finesse spades again. Now, when South lays down ♠AK, East’s Q♠ will fall and the game and rubber will be his.

Roz ana, 4-8 Kingston Hill, Kingston, Tel: 020 8546 6388 The French Tarte, 45 High St, Teddington, Tel: 020 8977 6063 Normansfield Theatre - Langdon Down Centre, 2A Langdon Park, Teddington Organically, 97 High St, Teddington, Tel: 020 8977 0421 The French Tarte, 83 Maple Road, Surbiton, Tel: 020 8399 1123 Pickled Pantry, St Mark's Hill, Surbiton, Tel: 020 8399 4694

aceoftrumps.com

The Glasshouse, 14 Coombe Road, New Malden, Tel: 020 8942 4650 The Place, 58 High Street, New Malden, Tel: 0208 241 6591

NB

N/S Game S 1S 4S

♥

darlingmagazine.co.uk AUTUMN 2018

37

point of view

TITANIC problems with the builder I

’m renovating a 60ft houseboat in Chertsey, and it’s been a sea of trouble.

Enter Seb. A strong Polish builder who “loves boats” and worked like a galley slave on the decorating and woodwork. He offered support, enthusiasm and cigarettes. I thought; found him on one of those websites that rates builders to save us from Cowboys. Alas, turned out I needed one to save me from Pirates.

BEWARE: I posted the contract, and sent it to five, all with over 70 five star reviews… unaware that other builders can see your advert and simply pay £60 to the site to have your contact. I just assumed he was one of The Chosen Crew.

After six weeks of work devotion, Seb came to me crying his car was surrounded by bailiffs. Could I pay the loan sharks direct £2,135 and he would finish the skylights in return asap. We had plans to do up other boats as a team. He had previously told me his wife had cancer, and he was struggling. How could I say ‘no’? Not that long after, he started ‘disappearing’.. He had a sinus operation.

38

AUTUMN 2018 darlingmagazine.co.uk

His tools were stolen. He was at hospital for tests with his wife. Then he slipped and hurt his ankle.

“I’ve no boat insurance” he confessed, despite saying he had £2,000,000 cover. By the time he said his wife was “taking him out the whole day for his birthday as it might be their last one ever”, I said I'd had enough. He’d only just told me he couldn’t come the day before, because his phone had been stolen. I saw he was on Whats App only 3 minutes earlier.

Trouble was, in his con to extract even more money for materials, he’d raced ahead to build a deck and ripped off 8 solar panels. Did I mention I own an electric boat? That meant no showers, toilets, running water, heating or lights. Current cost £800 for an engineer - who still can’t get them going. With his ‘snagging list’ of 150 items, I’m down about 4k. Worse, yesterday I opened up the 15ft hold to see he’d used it as a secret rubbish tip.

Filled to the brim with rubble, planks, foam… and empty cigarette packets. If I ever see him again, he will be forced to walk the plank, keel-hauled and fed to Moby Dick. I’m on my half-painted deck with my spyglass and hook, every morning.

CHARITY DINNER and DANCE at the Bingham

In aid of The Victoria Foundation Thursday 11th October 2018 from 7.00pm Bingham 61- 63 Petersham Road Richmond TW10 6UT

DINNER

•

AUCTION •

DANCING

£60 per TICKET - £480 for a TABLE of 8 To order your tickets go to: www.jumblebee.co.uk/TVFdinneranddance For details contact Lorna Votier at info@thevictoriafoundation.org.uk www.thevictoriafoundation.org.uk Charity Registration Number 292841

PRINCE & PILGRIM, THE SEPTEMBER COLLECTION SEPTEMBER 13TH TO SEPTEMBER 16TH

In support of

PREVIEW NIGHT: THURSDAY 13TH SEPTEMBER, 7PM – 10PM FRIDAY 14TH TO SUNDAY 16TH, 10AM TO 5PM

Coach House and Stable Gallery, 174 Kew Road, Richmond, TW9 2AS, www.princeandpilgrim.com, princeandpilgrim@gmail.com, 07824776265

Just For You

Beautiful British made furniture for your Bedroom, Living and Dining Rooms

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