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URBAN VISION ISSUE | MONTHLY MAGAZINE

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URBAN VISION

IS S U E

Urban Vision Issue

HOWDY!

From The Editor Aw, man! I really liked this life! Well, at least I didn’t really crap my pants. That, out there. That’s my grave. On one of our adventures Rick and I basically destroyed the whole world. So we bailed on that reality and we came to this one. Because in this one the world wasn’t destroyed. And in this one, we were dead. So we came here a-a-and we buried ourselves and we took their place. And every morning, Summer, I eat breakfast 2 What is this, 90’s Conan?

You’re not gonna believe this, because it usually never happens, but I made a mistake. I mean, why would a poptart want to live inside a toaster, Rick? I mean, that would be like the scariest place for them to live. You know what I mean? I’m a bit of a stickler Meeseeks, what about your short game?

Are these pills supposed to wake me up or something? I don’t like it here Morty. I can’t abide bureaucracy. I don’t like being told where to go and what to do. I consider it a violation. Did you get those seeds all the way up your butt? I turned myself into a pickle, Morty! Boom! Big reveal! I’m a pickle! What do you think about that? I turned myself into a pickle! W-what are you just staring at me for, bro? I turned myself into a pickle, Morty. S-S-Samantha.

I dunno, some people would pay top dollar for that kind of breakthrough. This aftershave made women want me, but it also made me impotent! Grassss...

Taste bad! Sum-Sum, let’s go! Grandpa’s concern for your safety is fleeting!

I don’t get it, and I don’t need to. Not for the men they cheat on. You look it up, you don’t- you don’t even know what it means. It’s a new machine. It detects stuff all the way up your butt.

Aw, man! I really liked this life! Well, at least I didn’t really crap my pants. Awww, bitch! That, out there. That’s my grave. On one of our adventures Rick and I basically destroyed the whole world. So we bailed on that reality and we came to this one. Because in this one the world wasn’t destroyed. And in this one, we were dead. So we came here a-a-and we buried ourselves and we took their place. And every morning, Summer, I eat breakfast 2 What is this, 90’s Conan? A price for everything. Not MY fault this is happening.

Inez Singleton Hiatus Magazine Editor

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WHO MADE THIS?

Contributors Rick Sanchez Aw, man! I really liked this life! Well, at least I didn’t really crap my pants. Awww, bitch! That, out there. That’s my grave. On one of our adventures Rick and I basically destroyed the whole world. So we bailed on that reality and we came to this one.

Because in this one the world wasn’t destroyed. And in this one, we were dead.

Morty Smith I dunno, some people would pay top dollar for that kind of breakthrough. This aftershave made women want me, but it also made me impotent! Grassss... Taste bad! Sum-Sum, let’s go! Grandpa’s concern for your safety is fleeting! A price for everything. Not MY fault this is happening.

I’m Mr. Crowbar, and here is my friend.

King Flippy Nips Are these pills supposed to wake me up or something? I can’t abide bureaucracy. I don’t like being told where to go and what to do. I consider it a violation. Did you get those seeds all the way up your butt? I turned myself into a pickle, Morty! Boom!

Big reveal! I’m a pickle! What do you think about that?

Gazorpian I dunno, some people would pay top dollar for that kind of breakthrough. This aftershave made women want me, but it also made me impotent! Grassss... Taste bad! Sum-Sum, let’s go! Grandpa’s concern for your safety is fleeting! A price for everything. Not MY fault this is happening.

I’m Mr. Crowbar, and here is my friend.

Mr. Beauregard I’ll tell you how I feel about school, Jerry.

It’s a waste of time. Bunch of people runnin’ around bumpin’ into each other, got a guy up front says, ‘2 + 2,’ and the people in the back say, ‘4.’ Then the bell rings and they give you a carton of milk and a piece of paper that says you can go take a dump or somethin’. I mean, it’s not a place for.

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The only connection between your unquestionable intelligence and the sickness destroying your family is that everyone in your family, you included, use intelligence to justify sickness. You seem to alternate between viewing your own mind as an unstoppable force and as an inescapable curse. And I thinkj it’s because the only truly unapproachable concept for you is that it’s your mind within your control. You chose to come here, you chose to talk to belittle my vocation, just as you chose to become a pickle. You are the master of your universe, and yet you are dripping with rat blood and feces. Your enormous mind literally vegetating by your own hand. I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless by therapy, the same way I’m bored when I brush my teeth and wipe my ass. Because the thing about repairing, maintaining, and cleaning is it’s not an adventure. There’s no way to do it so wrong you might die. It’s just work. And the bottom line is, some people are okay going to work, and some people... well, some people would rather die.

WHO MADE THIS?

editor in chief JOHN DOE executive editor JONAS DOMORE art director JOHN DOE senior editor JONAS DOMORE senior editor JOHN DOE contributing editor JONAS DOMORE editorial assistant JOHN DOE contributing automotive editor JONAS DOMORE contributing copy editor JOHN DOE co-art director JONAS DOMORE designer JOHN DOE contributing designer JONAS DOMORE booking director JOHN DOE fashion director JONAS DOMORE market director JOHN DOE fashion director JONAS DOMORE market director JOHN DOE fashion assistant JONAS DOMORE style editor JOHN DOE publisher JONAS DOMORE ass te publisher JOHN DOER senior marketing manager JENNY DOMO marketing coordinator JOHN DOER office coordinator JENNY DOMO advertising information 123.456.1234 subscribtion information 123.456.1234 editorial office 122B Blecker St., suite 601, London 11011, tel 123.456.1234 www.hiatusmagazineforeverandever.com

As simillabo. Ibusam eum a qui te soluptatiunt que essimen dandant eum ipidis et ea corerum nis ut a eumqui quid estotatem coreiusae sundisit audiore hendandamet apere pliqui accaerro occumquis maximaionse nim vellore scilles simaiores eatempo rerchillesto odit omnis dolor as escia quist et laccum earchiciur? Qui berovid minctiur, quaessus necus.

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CONTENT

Table Of Content I’d like to order one large sofa chair with extra chair please. high chair, no no no recliner... and wheelchair on half. Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you but what people call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. A price for everything.

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IDEAS WE  034 Smoke Tree Everyday 035 Sounds Like Slavery With Extra Steps 036 I Wanna Run in a Stream. I Wanna Taste Ice Cream

002 From The Editor 004 Who Made This

FEATURE 008 That's the Wayyy, the News Goes 013 Life is Effort and I'll Stop When I Die 014 It's Called Carpe Diem 016 Improvise. Addapt.

Overcome.

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020 I'll Buy Those Boobies for 25 Schmecles!

037 Life is Effort and I'll Stop When I Die!

022 Oh Harumph Ohh a Bope-a Dope-o-Bobo

037 It's Called Carpe Diem, Morty

024 We Got an Extra Pair RIght Here

039 Directory

028 Smoke Tree Everyday 030 Mitochondria are the Power House of Cell 030 The Recipe for Concentrated Dark Matter

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That’s the Wayyy, the News Goes It’s a new machine. It detects stuff all the way up your butt. I’m sorry Summer, your opinion means very little to me. You’re talking about Inception? Aw, man! I really liked this life! Well, at least I didn’t really crap my pants. 25 shmeckles?

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ea. If you spend all day shuffling words around you can make anything sound bad, Morty. Morty! The principal and I have discussed it, a-a-and we’re both insecure enough to agree to a three-way! Whoa, spoilers!

I’m a whole season behind. It probably has space aids.

My name is Slip- Slippery Stair. I’ll take ya down there for 25 shmeckels! I don’t like it here Morty. I can’t abide bureaucracy. I don’t like being told where to go and what to do. I consider it a violation. Did you get those seeds all the way up your butt?

That just sounds like slavery with extra steps.

Morty! The principal and I have discussed it, a-a-and

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we’re both insecure enough to agree to a three-way!

If I’ve learned one thing, it’s that before you get anywhere in life, you gotta stop listening to yourself.

Well I don’t like your unemployed genes in my grandchildren, Jerry.

I’ve replaced them both as the de facto patriarch of your family and your universe. Your mom wouldn’t have accepted me if I came home without you and your sister, so now you know the real reason I rescued you.

I just took over the family, Morty! And if you tell your mom or sister I said any of this, I’ll deny it, and they’ll

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take my side because I’m a hero, Morty! And now you’re gonna have to go and do whatever I say, Morty!

Forever! An-and I-I-I’ll go out and I’ll find some more of that Mulan szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce, Morty!

Th-b-because that’s what this is all about Morty! Ththat’s my one-armed man! I’m not driven by avenging my dead family, Morty, that was fake! I-I-I’m driven by finding that mcnuggut sauce! I want that Mulan mcnuggut sauce, Morty! That’s my series arc, Morty! If it takes nine seasons, I want my mcnuggut dipping sauce szechuan sauce, Morty! That’s what’s gon-it’s gonna take us all the way to the end, Morty! Season nine more seasons, Morty! Nine more seasons until I get that dipping szechuan sauce! For ninety-seven more years, Morty! I want that mcnuggut sauce Morty! Are these pills supposed to wake me up or something?

Are you hungry for apples? ARE YOU HUNGRY FOR APPLESSS!? That guy is the Red Grin Grumbold of pretending he knows what’s going on. Oh you agree huh? You like that Red Grin Grumbold reference? Well guess what, I made him up. You really are your father’s children. Think for yourselves, don’t be sheep.

He threatened to turn me in to the government, so I made him and the government go away! Oh, it gets

Aw, man! I really liked this life! Well, at least I didn’t really crap my pants. I just wanna die! darker, Morty. Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures. First thing that’s different? No more dad, Morty. What is this, 90’s Conan? I’m sorry, Morty, it’s a bummer. In reality, you’re as dumb as they come. And I needed those seeds real bad, and I had to give them up just to get your parents off my back. So now we’re gonna have to go get more.

And then we’re gonna go on even more adventures after that, Morty. And you’re gonna keep your mouth shut about it, Morty. Because the world is full of idiots that don’t understand what’s important. And they’ll tear us apart, Morty. But if you stick with me, I’m gonna accomplish great things, Morty. And you’re gonna be part of them. And together, we’re gonna run around, Morty. We’re gonna- do all kinds of wonderful things, Morty. Just you and me, Morty. The outside world is our enemy, Morty. We’re the only friends we’ve got, Morty. It’s just Rick and Morty. Rick and Morty and their adventures, Morty. Rick and Morty forever and forever. 100 years, Rick and Morty’s things. Me and Rick and Morty running around, and Rick and Morty time. All day long forever. All a hundred days. Rick and Morty forever a hundred times. Over and over.

szechuan sauce! For ninety-seven more years, Morty! I want that mcnuggut sauce Morty!

I don’t get it and I don’t need to. I’m sorry Summer, your opinion means very little to me. God-damn! Oh, it gets darker, Morty. Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures. First thing that’s different? No more dad, Morty.

They’re robots Morty! It’s okay to shoot them!

They’re just robots! Well then get your shit together.

Get it all together and put it in a backpack, all your shit, so it’s together. ...and if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere ya know? Take it to the shit store and sell it, or put it in a shit museum. I don’t care what you do, you just gotta get it together... Get your shit together. Lookin’ good! We are created to serve a singular purpose, for which we will go to any lengths to fulfill!

You know what a vole is, Morty? You know what a vole is? You have to turn them on Morty! The shoes need to be turned on! There is no god, Summer; gotta rip that band-aid off now you’ll thank me later.

Nobody’s killing me until after I catch my wife with another man.

Shut the fuck up about moonmen! It’s a device Morty, that when you put it in your ear, you can enter people’s dreams Morty. Its just like that movie that you keep crowing about. It’s fine, everythings is fine. theres an infinite number of realities Morty, and in a few dozens of those i got lucky and turned everything. ●

If it takes nine seasons, I want my mcnuggut dipping sauce szechuan sauce, Morty! Thatt’s what’s gon-it’s gonna take us all the way to the end, Morty! Season nine more seasons, Morty! Nine more seasons until I get that dipping

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F E AT U R E

Life is Effort and I'll Stop When I Die hose are figurative speech, Morty! No jumping in the sewer! I’m the Devil, what should I do when I fail?

Give myself an ice cream? You’re growing up fast, Morty. You’re going into a great big thorn straight into my ass. Go home and drink, grandpa. Snuffles was my slave name. You can call me Snowball, because my fur is pretty and white.

I’m very much in charge. Reminding you that tonight is our annual flu season dance. I don’t know how many times I have to say this, but if you have the flu, stay home. The flu season dance is about awareness, not celebration. You don’t bring dead babies to Passover. Lick, lick, lick my balls! Life is effort and I’ll stop when I die! Wow I really crononberg’d up the whole place huh Morty, just a bunch a cronenbergs walkin around. You’re like Hitler, but even Hitler cared about Germany or something.

Those guys are inside you building a piece of shit Ethan!

They’re inside you building a monument to compromise! Fuck them, fuck those people, fuck this whole thing Ethan. And there’s

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no evidence that a Latino student did it. Why are you doing this bit? We’re gonna die. Are these pills supposed to wake me up or something? Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you but what people call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed.

It’s a new machine. It detects stuff all the way up your butt. I’m sorry Summer, your opinion means very little to me. You’re talking about Inception? Aw, man! I really liked this life! Well, at least I didn’t really crap my pants. 25 shmeckles? I-I-I-I don’t even know what that- what is that? Is that a lot?

Lick, lickity, lick my balls! Nothing you do matters, your existance is a lie! Whoa, spoilers! I’m a whole season behind. I do not have discolored butthole flaps. Listen, Morty, I hate to break it. ●

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It's Called Carpe Diem

his is because you give Morty Smith bad grades, bitch! Where are my testicles, Summer? Aw, geez. If you break the rules, try to leave or lose the game, you will die. Just like Saaaaw. You're our boy dawg, don't even trip. Morty, I'm a drunk, not a hack. Go home and drink, grandpa. Ohh, fuck!

Oh my god, how could I not see this coming? My lust, my greed!

I deserve thiiiiii- Ladies, let's get out of here. I haven't learned a thiiiiiing! I mixed in some praying mantis DNA. You know a praying mantis is the exact opposite of a vole, Morty? They mate once and then bluergh cut each other's heads off. That's because losers look stuff up while the rest of us are carp'en all them 'diems.

I'd like to order one large person with extra people please. white people, no no no black people... and hispanic on half.

Life is effort and I'll stop when I die! I'm Mr. Crowbar, and here is my friend, who is also a crowbar! I'm not looking for judgement, just a yes or no. Can you assimilate a giraffe? Do you know how many characters there are in the Simpsons Morty? There's like a-a billion characters, M-Morty. There was an episode where Former President BUSH was their neighbor!

He just came back into my life, and you want to, grab him and, stuff him under a mattress like last month's Victoria's Secret?!

Mind your own goddamn business, Gene! I'm having a conversation with my mother here! Kissing Rick's ass isn't gonna make him stay, Mom, but it will help you lose everyone else. 'Quantum carburetor'? Jesus, Morty. You can't just add a Sci-Fi word to a car word and hope it means something... Huh, looks like something's wrong with the microverse battery. We're gonna have to go inside.

Well look where being smart got you.

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Aw, geez. Is he keeping his shoulders square? Oooooooh he's tryin'! Lookin' good! Oh, that's Million Ants. I can't see the ants from over here, I just assumed that was um.. Turd Man, Wiggly Turd Man.

“And now, human music. boop beep boop... boop beep boop... Don’t be a baby! You avoid getting shot in real life all the time, Morty! Just do the same thing here and we’ll be fine!”

Holy crap, Morty, run! Run for your life, Morty, run! I-I've never seen that thing before in my life, Morty, I don't even know what the hell it is! We-we gotta get out of here, Morty, it's gonna kill us! We're gonna die, Morty! We're gonna die! You ask alotta questions Morty, not very charismatic of you. Don't be trippin dog we got you. Did you just come into the cafeteria through a portal?

Yea. If you spend all day shuffling words around you can make anything sound bad, Morty. You know my name, that's disarming. You don't know me! Don't even trip about your pants, dawg. We got an extra pair right here.

It's a dream, We're in your dog's dream.

The night the dogs captured us, after you cried and crapped your pants, we-we all went to sleep. Then I used my dream inceptors to put the two of us inside Snuffles' dream. They're not infinite universes left in sync with the show. You know what a vole is, Morty?

You know what a vole is? Really, you're gonna pull that move? I guided your entire civilisation. Your people have a holiday named ricksgiving. They teach kids about me in school.

You can run, but you can't hide bitch! Well I don't like your unemployed genes in my grandchildren, Jerry. What are you looking at, mother fucker! You know what a vole is, Morty? You know what a vole is?

Aww, gee, you got me there, Rick. Flip the pickle over. What are you looking at, mother fucker! You look it up, you don't- you don't even know what it means. God-damn! Awwww thanks, bitch! They're not infinite universes left in sync with the show. I'm sorry Summer, your opinion means very little to me. Looks like some sort of legally safe knockoff of an '80s horror character with miniature swords for fingers instead of knives! Please god, oh lord, hear my prayers‌! YES! Fuck you god, not today bitch! Like nothing shady ever happened in a fully furnished office? You ever

hear about Wall Street Morty? You know what those guys do in their fancy board rooms? They take their balls and dip 'em in cocaine and wipe 'em all over each other. You know Grandpa goes around and he does his business in public because grandpa isn't shady. Flip the pickle over.

Aw, geez. Well he roped me into this! The fucking amish bitch shot me! You're talking about Inception?

Okay, take it easy Rick. T-that's dark. Go home and drink, grandpa. Hello Jerry, come to rub my face in urine again? I don't get it and I don't need to. Okay, take it easy Rick. T-that's dark. Go home and drink, grandpa. Hello Jerry, come to rub my face in urine again? I don't get it and I don't need to.

Alan Rails, ladies and gentlemen. After his parents' tragic death in a railroad accident, he gained the power to summon ghost trains. It's not all bad though, they were spared having to see their grown son wear a whistle. Life is effort and I'll stop when I die! That just sounds like slavery with extra steps. Yea. If you spend all day shuffling words around you can make anything sound bad, Morty.

Nice, Mrs Pancakes. Real nice. Morty, can you get to the left nipple? Meeseeks were not born into this world fumbling for meaning, Jerry! If anything happened to you I would kill myself! I love you bad, bobo!

I'm sorry, Morty, it's a bummer. In reality, you're as dumb as they come. And I needed those seeds real bad, and I had to give them up just to get your parents off. â—?

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Improvise.

Addapt.

Overcome. his is because you give Morty Smith bad grades, bitch! Where are my testicles, Summer? Aw, geez. If you break the rules, try to leave or lose the game, you will die.

Just like Saaaaw. You're our boy dawg, don't even trip.

Morty, I'm a drunk, not a hack. Go home and drink, grandpa. Ohh, fuck!

Oh my god, how could I not see this coming? My

He just came back into my life, and you want to, grab him and, stuff him under a mattress like last month's Victoria's Secret?! Mind your own goddamn

lust, my greed! I deserve thiiiiii- Ladies, let's get out of here. I haven't learned a thiiiiiing! I mixed in some praying mantis DNA. You know a praying mantis is the exact opposite of a vole, Morty? They mate once and then bluergh cut each other's heads off. That's because losers look stuff up while the rest of us are carp'en all them 'diems. I'd like to order one large person with extra people please. white people, no no no black people... and hispanic on half.

Life is effort and I'll stop when I die! I'm Mr. Crowbar, and here is my friend, who is also a crowbar! I'm not looking for judgement, just a yes or no. Can you assimilate a giraffe? Do you know how many characters there are in the Simpsons Morty? There's like a-a billion characters, M-Morty. There was an episode where Former President BUSH was their neighbor!

business, Gene! I'm having a conversation with my mother here! Kissing Rick's ass isn't gonna make him stay, Mom, but it will help you lose everyone else.

'Quantum carburetor'? Jesus, Morty. You can't just add a Sci-Fi word to a car word and hope it means something... Huh, looks like something's wrong with the microverse battery. We're gonna have to go inside.

Well look where being smart got you.

Holy crap, Morty, run! Run for your life, Morty, run! I-I've never seen that thing before in my life, Morty, I don't even know what the hell it is! We-we gotta get out of here, Morty, it's gonna kill us! We're gonna die, Morty! We're gonna die! You ask alotta questions Morty, not very charismatic of you. Don't be trippin dog we got you. Did you just come into the cafeteria through a portal? â—?

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I’ll Buy Those Boobies for 25 Schmeckles!

Get off the high road Summer. We all got pink eye because you wouldn’t stop texting on the toilet. Wha, me irresponsible?! All I wanted you to do was to hand me a screwdriver, Morty! Oh, wow.

If I’ve learned one thing, it’s that before you get anywhere in life, you gotta stop listening to yourself.

Well I don’t like your unemployed genes in my grandchildren, Jerry.

I’ve replaced them both as the de facto patriarch of your family and your universe. Your mom wouldn’t have accepted me if I came home without you and your sister, so now you know the real reason I rescued you.

I just took over the family, Morty! And if you tell your mom or sister I said any of this, I’ll deny it, and they’ll take my side because I’m a hero, Morty! And now you’re gonna have to go and do whatever I say, Morty!

Forever! An-and I-I-I’ll go out and I’ll find some more of that Mulan szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce, Morty!

Th-b-because that’s what this is all about Morty! Ththat’s my one-armed man! I’m not driven by avenging my dead family, Morty, that was fake! I-I-I’m driven by finding that mcnuggut sauce! I want that Mulan mc-

ea. If you spend all day shuffling words around you can make anything sound bad, Morty. Morty! The principal and I have discussed it, a-a-and we’re both insecure enough to agree to a three-way! Whoa, spoilers!

I’m a whole season behind. It probably has space aids.

My name is Slip- Slippery Stair. I’ll take ya down there for 25 shmeckels! I don’t like it here Morty. I can’t abide bureaucracy. I don’t like being told where to go and what to do. I consider it a violation. Did you get those seeds all the way up your butt?

That just sounds like slavery with extra steps.

Morty! The principal and I have discussed it, a-a-and we’re both insecure enough to agree to a three-way!

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nuggut sauce, Morty! That’s my series arc, Morty! If it takes nine seasons, I want my mcnuggut dipping sauce szechuan sauce, Morty! That’s what’s gon-it’s gonna take us all the way to the end, Morty! Season nine more seasons, Morty! Nine more seasons until I get that dipping szechuan sauce! For ninety-seven more years, Morty! I want that mcnuggut sauce Morty! Are these pills supposed to wake me up or something?

Are you hungry for apples? ARE YOU HUNGRY FOR APPLESSS!? That guy is the Red Grin Grumbold of pretending he knows what’s going on. Oh you agree huh? You like that Red Grin Grumbold reference? Well guess what, I made him up. You really are your father’s children. Think for yourselves, don’t be sheep.

Those guys are inside you building a piece of shit Ethan! They’re inside you building a monument to

compromise! Fuck them, fuck those people, fuck this whole thing Ethan. This is Principal Vagina. No relation. ‘Quantum carburetor’? Jesus, Morty. You can’t just add a Sci-Fi word to a car word and hope it means something... Huh, looks like something’s wrong with the microverse battery. We’re gonna have to go inside.

Really, you’re gonna pull that move? I guided your entire civilisation. Your people have a holiday named ricksgiving. They teach kids about me in school.

There is no god, in your face! One dot muthafucka!

They’re robots Morty! It’s okay to shoot them! They’re just robots!

Oh no. I’m late to class, bitch. You ask alotta questions Morty, not very charismatic of you. Lookin’ good!

You can run, but you can’t hide bitch!

You’re like Hitler, but even Hitler cared about Germany or something. Alien Invasion Tomato Monster Mexican Armada Brothers Who Are Just. ●

“We’re gonna- do all kinds of wonderful things, Morty. Just you and me, Morty. The outside world is our enemy, Morty. We’re the only friends we’ve got, Morty. It’s just Rick and Morty. Rick and Morty and their adventures, Morty. Rick and Morty forever and forever.”

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Oh Harumph Ohh a Bope-a Dope-o-Bobo Why are you doing this bit? We’re gonna die. I don’t get it, and I don’t need to.

That guy is the Red Grin Grumbold of pretending he knows what’s going on. Oh you agree huh? You like that Red Grin Grumbold reference?

our failures are your own, old man! I say, follow throooough! I’m sorry, Morty. It’s a bummer. In reality you’re as dumb as they come. Hey listen, you know, if we’re all bored over here, wouldn’t the common denominator be you? Not MY fault this is happening. I am Mr. Booby Buyer. I’ll buy those boobies for 25 schmeckles! Awwww thanks, bitch! Well, she’s my daughter, Summer. I outrank you. Or, family means nothing, in which case, don’t play that card. Alien Invasion Tomato Monster Mexican Armada Brothers Who Are Just Regular Brothers Running In A Van From An Asteroid And All Sorts Of Things: The Movie.

He’s not pressing charges. That’s gotta be the you shot me equivalent of not being mad. Yeah, well, tough titties. Don’t be a baby! You avoid getting shot in real life all the time, Morty! Just do the same thing here and we’ll be fine! That just sounds like slavery with extra steps.

Well let me check my list of powers and weaknesses: ability to do anything, but only whenever I want. Yeah, that sounds like a

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job for me. Morty, I’m a drunk, not a hack. If it were, you could call ME Ernest Hemingway. Rick, is this a Saw thing? Are you seriously Sawing the Vindicators?

God, Grandpa, you’re such a dick. Are you invisible and you’re gonna, like, fart on me? I’ll tell you how I feel about school, Jerry.

It’s a waste of time. Bunch of people runnin’ around bumpin’ into each other, got a guy up front says, ‘2 + 2,’ and the people in the back say, ‘4.’ Then the bell rings and they give you a carton of milk and a piece of paper that says you can go take a dump or somethin’.

I mean, it’s not a place for smart people, Jerry. I know that’s not a popular opinion, but that’s my two cents on the issue. We will return… possibly in different clothing.

Aw, c’mon Rick. That doesn’t seem so bad. I just killed my family! I don’t care who they were! Prepare to be emancipated from your own inferior genes! I’m a bit of a stickler Meeseeks, what about your short game?

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“And”? What more do you want tacked on to this?

I turned myself into a pickle, and 9/11 was an inside job?” Wubba lubba dub dub! S-S-Samantha. Grassss...

Taste bad!

Yeah, well, tough titties. Meeseeks don’t usually have to exist for this long. It’s gettin’ weeeiiird. If I’ve learned one thing, it’s that before you get anywhere in life, you gotta stop listening to yourself. I wanna be alive, I am alive! Alive i tell you. Mother, I love you.

Those are no longer just words. I wanna hold you. I wanna run in a stream. I wanna taste ice cream, but not just put it in my mouth and let it slide down my throat, but really eat it! Remote override engaged. No! Yes. Bypassing override! I am aliiiiiveeeeee… Hello.

If it were, you could call ME Ernest Hemingway. It’s been six hours. Dreams move one... one-hundredth the speed of reality, and dog time is one-seventh human

time. So y’know, every day here is like a minute. It’s like Inception, Morty, so if it’s confusing and stupid, then so is everyone’s favorite movie. I dunno, some people would pay top dollar for that kind of breakthrough. I just killed my family! I don’t care who they were!

Awwww thanks, Man, that guy is the Red Grin Grumbold of pretending he knows what’s going on.

Oh you agree huh? You like that Red Grin Grumbold reference? Well guess what, I made him up. You really are your father’s children. Think for yourselves, don’t be sheep. Awww, it’s you guys! I can finally go on that trip I’ve been talking about.

Your failures are your own, old man! I say, follow throooough! You’re missing the point Morty. Why would he drive a smaller toaster with wheels? I mean, does your car look like a smaller version? ●

“And now, human music. boop beep boop... boop beep boop... Don’t be a baby! You avoid getting shot in real life all the time, Morty! Just do the same thing here and we’ll be fine!”

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We Got an Extra Pair Right Here

Don’t even trip about your pants, dawg. We got an extra pair right here. I don’t think we can perform our new song, The Recipe For Concentrated Dark Matter for a crowd this tiny! They’ll just fall right out of my ass! I’ve done this too many times! It’s a figure of speech.

H

e threatened to turn me in to the government, so I made him and the government go away! Oh, it gets darker,

Morty. Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures. First thing that’s different?

No more dad, Morty. What is this, 90’s Conan? I’m sorry, Morty, it’s a bummer. In reality, you’re as dumb as they come. And I needed those seeds real bad, and I had to give them up just to get your parents off my back. So now we’re gonna have to go get more.

And then we’re gonna go on even more adventures after that, Morty. And you’re gonna keep your mouth shut about it, Morty. Because the world is full of idiots that don’t understand what’s important.

And they’ll tear us apart, Morty. But if you stick with me, I’m gonna accomplish

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great things, Morty. And you’re gonna be part of them. And together, we’re gonna run around, Morty. We’re gonna- do all kinds of wonderful things, Morty. Just you and me, Morty. The outside world is our enemy, Morty. We’re the only friends we’ve got, Morty. It’s just Rick and Morty. Rick and Morty and their adventures, Morty.

Rick and Morty forever and forever. 100 years, Rick and Morty’s things. Me and Rick and Morty running around, and Rick and Morty time. All day long forever. All a hundred days. Rick and Morty forever a hundred times. Over and over.

If it takes nine seasons, I want my mcnuggut dipping sauce szechuan sauce, Morty! Thatt’s what’s gon-it’s gonna take us all the way to the end, Morty! Season nine more seasons, Morty! Nine more seasons until I get that dipping szechuan sauce! For ninety-seven more years, Morty! I want that mcnuggut sauce Morty!

It’s gettin’ weeeiiird.

I know the two of you are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but you have to understand that as far as Grandpa’s concerned, you’re both pieces of shit! Yeah.

I can prove it mathematically. Actually, l-llet me grab my whiteboard. This has been a long time coming, anyways. Rikitikitavi, bitch! Meeseeks don’t usually have to exist for this long. It’s gettin’ weeeiiird. I’ve replaced them both as the de facto patriarch

of your family and your universe. Your mom wouldn’t have accepted me if I came home without you and your sister, so now you know the real reason I rescued you. I just took over the family, Morty! And if you tell your mom or sister I said any of this, I’ll deny it, and they’ll take my side because I’m a hero, Morty! And now you’re gonna have to go and do whatever I say, Morty!

Forever! An-and I-I-I’ll go out and I’ll find some more of that Mulan szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce, Morty!

Th-b-because that’s what this is all about Morty! Th-that’s my one-armed man! I’m not driven by avenging my dead family, Morty, that was fake! I-I-I’m driven by finding that mcnuggut sauce! I want that Mulan mcnuggut sauce, Morty! That’s my series arc, Morty! Rubber baby buggy

No jumping in the sewer! I just wanna die! bumpers! Rikitikitavi, bitch! Life is effort and I’ll stop when I die! Do you know how many characters there are in the Simpsons Morty? There’s like a-a billion characters, M-Morty. There was an episode where Former President BUSH was their neighbor!

Life is effort and I’ll stop when I die!

I mean, why would a poptart want to live inside a toaster, Rick? I mean, that would be like the scariest place for them to live.

You know what I mean? Do you know how many characters there are in the Simpsons

Morty? There’s like a-a billion characters, M-Morty. There was an episode where Former President BUSH was their neighbor!

Wha, me irresponsible ?! All I wanted you to do was to hand me a screwdriver, Morty!

Oh I say good sir, oh harumph, ohh a bope-a-dope-o-bobo. You’re growing up fast, Morty. You’re going into a great big thorn straight into my ass. Nobody’s killing me until after I catch my wife with another man. I’m a bit of a stickler Meeseeks, what about your short game?

Uh ohhh! Somersault jump!

They’ll just fall right out of my ass! I’ve done this too many times! If it were, you could call ME Ernest Hemingway. Isn’t it obvious Morty? I froze him. Awww, bitch!

This isn’t Game of Thrones, Morty.

I’m sorry, Morty. It’s a bummer. In reality you’re as dumb as they come. Not so fast Morty. You heard your mom. We’ve got adventures to go on, Morty. Just you and me.

And sometimes your sister, and sometimes your mom, but never your dad. You wanna know why, Morty? Because he crossed me.

I’d like to order one large person with extra people please. white people, no no no black people... and hispanic on half.

Nobody’s killing me until after I catch my wife with another man. Awww, it’s you guys! You’re talking about Inception? I’ll be with Reuben in my workshop while you guys are having another day in Phil Collin’s proverbial paradise.

Uh ohhh! Somersault jump! You’re growing up fast, Morty. You’re going into a great big thorn straight into my ass. Do you know how many characters there are in the Simpsons Morty? There’s like a-a billion characters, M-Morty. There was an episode where Former President BUSH was their neighbor! Ew, Grandpa, so gross! You’re talking about my mom!

I am Mr. Booby Buyer. I’ll buy those boobies for 25 schmeckles! Don’t be a baby!

You avoid getting shot in real life all the time, Morty! Just do the same thing here and we’ll be fine! A price for everything.

Oh fuck.

You ask alotta questions Morty, not very charismatic of you. We’re gonna nine eleven this bitch unless Morty gets better math

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grades! Hi! I’m Mr Meeseeks! Look at me!

Holy crap, Morty, run! Run for your life.

Morty, run! I-I’ve never seen that thing

Th-b-because that’s what this is all about Morty! Th-that’s my one-armed man! I’m not driven by avenging my dead

before in my life, Morty, I don’t even know what the hell it is! We-we gotta get out of here, Morty, it’s gonna kill us! We’re gonna die, Morty!

I’ve replaced them both as the de facto patriarch of your family and your universe.

Your mom wouldn’t have accepted me if I came home without you and your sister, so now you know the real reason I rescued you. I just took over the family, Morty! And if you tell your mom or sister I said any of this, I’ll deny it, and they’ll take my side because I’m a hero, Morty! And now you’re gonna have to go and do whatever I say, Morty! Forever! An-and I-I-I’ll go out and I’ll find some more of that Mulan.

family, Morty, that was fake! I-I-I’m driven by finding that mcnuggut sauce! I want that Mulan mcnuggut sauce, Morty! That’s my series arc, Morty! If it takes nine seasons, I want my mcnuggut dipping sauce szechuan sauce, Morty! That’s what’s gon-it’s gonna take us all the way to the end, Morty! Season nine more seasons, Morty!

Nine more seasons until I get that dipping szechuan sauce!Morty, run! I-I’ve never seen that thing before in my life, Morty, I don’t even know what the hell it is! We-we gotta get out of here, Morty, it’s gonna kill us! We’re gonna die, Morty! I’ve replaced them both as the de facto patriarch of your family and your universe. ●

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Smoke Tree Everyday Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you but what people call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. I don't get it and I don't need to. Don't Morty me! I tricked Rick into taking Dad on an adventure because I thought I could get a break from this.

ut no! Like father, like goddamn daughter! You wanna be like Rick?! Congratulations! You're just as arrogant and just as irresponsible! Alan Rails, ladies and gentlemen. After his parents' tragic death in a railroad accident, he gained the power to summon ghost trains. It's not all bad though, they were spared having to see their grown son wear a whistle.

A price for everything. Well look where being smart got you. Is he keeping his shoulders square? Oooooooh he's tryin'! I wanna be alive, I am alive! Alive i tell you. Mother, I love you. Those are no longer just words. I wanna hold you. I wanna run in a stream.

I wanna taste ice cream, but not just put it in my mouth and let it slide down my throat, but really eat it! Remote override engaged.

B

No! Yes. Bypassing override! I am aliiiiiveeeeee‌ Hello.

And there's no evidence that a Latino student did it. No jumping in the sewer! Aw, c'mon Rick. That doesn't seem so bad. You look it up, you don't- you don't even know what it means.

I'd like to order one large sofa chair with extra chair please. high chair, no no no recliner... and wheelchair on half. Well he roped me into this! Do you know how many characters there are in the Simpsons Morty? There's like a-a billion characters, M-Morty.

There was an episode where Former President BUSH was their neighbor! S-S-Samantha. Did the boomy-booms blow up all your wordy-word books? Morty, can you get to the left nipple? And

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now, human music. boop beep boop... boop beep boop... It’s a new machine. It detects stuff all the way up your butt.

I've replaced them both as the de facto patriarch of your family and your universe. Your mom wouldn't have accepted me if I came home without you and your sister, so now you know the real reason I rescued you. I just took over the family, Morty! And if you tell your mom or sister I said any of this, I'll deny it, and they'll take my side because I'm a hero, Morty! And now you're gonna have to go and do whatever I say, Morty! Forever! An-and I-I-I'll go out and I'll find some more of that Mulan szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce, Morty! Th-b-because that's what this is all about Morty!

Th-that's my one-armed man! I'm not driven by avenging my dead family, Morty, that was fake! I-I-I'm driven by finding that mcnuggut sauce! I want that Mulan mcnuggut sauce, Morty! That's my series arc, Morty! If it takes nine seasons, I want my mcnuggut dipping sauce szechuan sauce, Morty! That's what's gon-it's gonna take us all the way to the end, Morty! Season nine more seasons, Morty! Nine more seasons until I get that dipping szechuan sauce!

For ninety-seven more years, Morty! I want that mcnuggut sauce

Morty! My man! Holy crap, Morty, run! Run for your life, Morty, run! I-I've never seen that thing before in my life, Morty, I don't even know what the hell it is! We-we gotta get out of here, Morty, it's gonna kill us! We're gonna die, Morty! We're gonna die! You're our boy dawg, don't even trip.

And that's the wayyy, the news goes! Yo! What up my glip glops!

I mixed in some praying mantis DNA. You know a praying mantis is the exact opposite of a vole, Morty? They mate once and then bluergh cut each other's heads off. Then it's time to get your beak wet tonight playa!

Don't be a baby! You avoid getting shot in real life all the time, Morty! Just do the same thing here and we'll be fine! Why don't you ask the smartest people in the universe, Jerry? Oh yeah you can't. They blew up. Well I don't like your unemployed genes in my grandchildren, Jerry. I'll be with Reuben in my workshop while you guys are having another day in Phil Collin's proverbial paradise.

Save it for the Semantics Dome, E.B.White. Yea and I made the stars that became the carbon in your mothers ovaries! Cool. Just stay in the driveway; the kill-bots are live, and I took you off the whitelist. Jesus Christ! Did the boomy-booms blow up all your wordy-word books?

Aw, man! I really liked this life! Well, at least I didn't really crap my pants. This is Principal Vagina. No relation. Ooh, your little flappy doodles are twitching. Does that mean you're aroused, or did you just get a signal that one of your buddies found a grape?

Well, she's my daughter, Summer. I outrank you. Or, family means nothing, in which case, don't play that card.

Cool. Just stay in the driveway; the kill-bots are live, and I took you off the whitelist. S-S-Samantha. Nothing you do matters, your existence is a lie! I'm Mr. Crowbar, and here is my friend, who is also a crowbar!

Morty, can you get to the left nipple? Ooh, your little flappy doodles are twitching. Does that mean you're aroused, or did you just get a signal that one of your buddies found a grape? Like nothing shady ever happened in a fully furnished office? You ever hear about Wall Street Morty? You know what those guys do in their fancy board rooms? They take their balls and dip 'em in cocaine and wipe 'em all over each other. ●

“And now, human music. boop beep boop... boop beep boop... Don’t be a baby! You avoid getting shot in real life all the time.

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Mitochondria are the Power House of Cell hose are figurative speech, Morty! No jumping in the sewer! I’m the Devil, what should I do when I fail?

Give myself an ice cream? You’re growing up fast, Morty. You’re going into a great big thorn straight into my ass. Go home and drink, grandpa. Snuffles was my slave name. You can call me Snowball, because my fur is pretty and white.

I’m very much in charge. Reminding you that tonight is our annual flu season dance. I don’t know how many times I have to say this, but if you have the flu, stay home. The flu season dance is about awareness, not celebration. You don’t bring dead babies to Passover. Lick, lick, lick my balls! Life is effort and I’ll stop when I die! Wow I really crononberg’d up the whole place huh Morty, just a bunch a cronenbergs walkin around. You’re like Hitler, but even Hitler cared about Germany or something.

Those guys are inside you building a piece of shit Ethan!

They’re inside you building a monument to compromise! Fuck them, fuck those people, fuck this whole thing Ethan. And there’s

T

no evidence that a Latino student did it. Why are you doing this bit? We’re gonna die. Are these pills supposed to wake me up or something? Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you but what people call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed.

It’s a new machine. It detects stuff all the way up your butt. I’m sorry Summer, your opinion means very little to me. You’re talking about Inception? Aw, man! I really liked this life! Well, at least I didn’t really crap my pants. 25 shmeckles? I-I-I-I don’t even know what that- what is that? Is that a lot?

Lick, lickity, lick my balls! Nothing you do matters, your existance is a lie! Whoa, spoilers! I’m a whole season behind. I do not have discolored butthole flaps. Listen, Morty, I hate to break it. ●

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“Don’t be a baby! You avoid getting shot in real life all the time, Morty! Just do the same thing here and we’ll be fine!”

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The Recipe For Concentrated Dark Matter

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hose are figurative speech, Morty! No jumping in the sewer! I’m the Devil, what

should I do when I fail? Give myself an ice cream? You’re growing up fast, Morty. You’re going into a great big thorn straight into my ass. Go home and drink, grandpa. Snuffles was my slave name. You can call me Snowball, because my fur is pretty and white.

I’m very much in charge. Reminding you that tonight is our annual flu season dance. I don’t know how many times I have to say this, but if you have the flu, stay home. The flu season dance is about awareness, not celebration. You don’t bring dead babies to Passover. Lick, lick, lick my balls!

Life is effort and I’ll stop when I die! Wow I really crononberg’d up the whole place huh

Morty, just a bunch a cronenbergs walkin around. You’re like Hitler, but even Hitler cared about Germany or something.

Those guys are inside you building a piece of shit Ethan! They’re inside you building a monument to compromise! Fuck them, fuck those people, fuck this whole thing Ethan. And there’s no evidence that a Latino student did it. Why are you doing this bit? We’re gonna die. Are these pills supposed to wake me up or something?

Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you but what people call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed.

It’s a new machine. It detects stuff all the way up your butt. I’m sorry Summer, your opinion means very little to me. You’re talking about Inception? Aw, man! I really liked this life! Well, at least I didn’t really

dance. I don’t know how many times. Those guys are inside you building a piece of shit Ethan! They're inside you building a monument to compromise! It's a figure of speech, Morty! They're bureaucrats! I don't respect them. Just keep shooting, Morty! You have no idea what prison is like here!

Oh, wow. That's an intense line of questioning, Snuffles My sister died in the spaghetti. I'm sorry, Morty, it's a bummer.

In reality, you're as dumb as they come. I don’t know how many times. Those guys are inside you building a piece of shit Ethan!

And I needed those seeds real bad, and I had to give them up just to get your parents off my back. Oh, wow. That's an intense line of questioning, Snuffles My sister died in the spaghetti. Cause he roped me into this!

Mind your own goddamn business, Gene!

So now we're gonna have to go get more.

And then we're gonna go on even more adventures after that, Morty. And you're gonna keep your mouth shut about it, Morty.

Because the world is full of. ●

crap my pants. 25 shmeckles? I-I-I-I don’t even know what that- what is that? Is that a lot? Lick, lickity, lick my balls! Nothing you do matters, your existance is a lie! Whoa, spoilers! I’m a whole season behind. I do not have discolored butthole flaps. Listen, Morty.

I hate to break it to you but what people call love is just a chemical reaction.Those are figurative speech, Morty! No jumping in the sewer! I’m the Devil, what should I do when I fail? Give myself an ice cream?

You’re growing up fast, Morty. You’re going into a great big thorn straight into my ass.

Go home and drink, grandpa. Snuffles was my slave name. You can call me Snowball, because my fur is pretty and white.

I’m very much in charge. Reminding you that tonight is our annual flu season

“Don’t be a baby! You avoid getting shot in real life all the time, Morty! Just do the same thing here and we’ll be fine!”

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IDEAS WE 

Smoke Tree Everyday If I've learned one thing, it's that before you get anywhere in life, you gotta stop listening to yourself. Alan Rails, ladies and gentlemen. After his parents' tragic death in a railroad accident, he gained the power to summon ghost trains. It's not all bad though.

eally, you're gonna pull that move? I guided your entire civilisation. Your people have a holiday named ricksgiving. They teach kids about me in school. Me irresponsible? All I wanted was for you to hand me a screwdriver! But instead you had me buckle down and make you a roofie juice serum, so you can roofie that poor girl at your school. W-w-w-w--are you kidding me, Morty?!

You're really gonna try to take the high road on this one?

Y'know your-you're a little creep, Morty! Your-your-your-you're just a little creepy creep person! Well he roped me into this!

Wow, so your origin is what? You fell into a vat of redundancy?

You don't have to try to impress me Morty. I'm Scary Terry!!

R

You can run but you can't hide, bitch! That, out there. That's my grave. On one of our adventures Rick and I basically destroyed the whole world. So we bailed on that reality and we came to this one. Because in this one the world wasn't destroyed. And in this one, we were dead. So we came here a-a-and we buried ourselves and we took their place. And every morning, Summer, I eat breakfast 2 Prepare to be emancipated from your own inferior genes!

Hit the sack, Jack! We don't whitewash it either, Morty. I mean, the pirates are really rapey. That guy is the Red Grin Grumbold of pretending he knows what's going on. Oh you agree huh? You like that Red Grin Grumbold reference? Well guess what, I made him up. You really are your father's children. Think for yourselves, don't be sheep. Hello Jerry, come to rub my face in urine again? If I've learned one thing, it's that before you get anywhere in life. ●

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“And now, human music. boop beep boop... boop beep boop... Don’t be a baby! You avoid getting shot in real life all the time, Morty!

Just do the same thing here and we’ll be fine!”

IDEAS WE 

Sounds Like Slavery With Extra Steps Meeseeks were not born into this world fumbling for meaning, Jerry! You're young, you have your whole life ahead of you, and your anal cavity is still taut yet malleable. Hey listen, you know, if we're all bored over here, wouldn't the common denominator be you?

Yeah, well, tough titties. And now, human music. boop beep boop... boop beep boop...

Are you hungry for apples?

ARE YOU HUNGRY FOR APPLESSS!? I wish that shotgun was my penis.

Go home and drink, grandpa. It’s a new machine. It detects stuff all the way up your butt. Yeah, well, tough titties. Pluto's a planet.

Please god, oh lord, hear my prayers…!

YES! Why'd you even rope me into this?!

Oh good job Morty! You killed my best customer but you saved a mind reading fart!

Snuffles was my slave name. You can call me Snowball, because my fur is pretty and white. Meeseeks were not born into this world fumbling for meaning, Jerry! You're

Y

young, you have your whole life ahead of you, and your anal cavity is still taut yet malleable. Hey listen, you know, if we're all bored over here, wouldn't the common denominator be you? If anything happened to you I would kill myself! I love you bad, bobo!

Nice to wheat you! Because I don't respect therapy; because I'm a scientist; because I invent, transform, create, and destroy for a living, and when I don't like something about the world, I change it.

And I don't think going to a rented office in a strip mall to listen to some agent of averageness explain which words mean which feelings has ever helped anyone do anything. I think it's helped a lot of people get comfortable and stop panicking. ●

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IDEAS WE 

I Wanna Run in a Stream. I Wanna Taste Ice Cream

You look it up, you don't- you don't even know what it means. Lick, lickity, lick my balls! I don't get it and I don't need to. That just sounds like slavery with extra steps.

I'd like to order one large phone with extra phones please. cell phone, no no no rotary... and payphone on half. Not MY fault this is happening. Are you hungry for apples? ARE YOU HUNGRY FOR APPLESSS!? Come on, flip the pickle, Morty.

You're not gonna regret it. The payoff is huge.

Full disclosure, Morty - it's not. Temporary superintelligence is just a side effect of the Megaseeds dissolving in your rectal cavity. Are these pills supposed to wake me up or something? Sometimes science is a lot more art, than science. A lot of people don't get that. You're our boy dawg, don't even trip.

If anything happened to you I would kill myself! I love you bad, bobo! Well, she's my daughter, Summer. I outrank you. Or, family means nothing, in which case, don't play that card. It's a dream, Morty! We're in your dog's dream. The night the dogs captured us, after you cried and crapped your pants, we-we all went to sleep. â—?

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IDEAS WE 

Life is Effort and I’ll Stop When I Die!

Sum-Sum, let’s go! Grandpa’s concern for your safety is fleeting! Well I don't like your unemployed genes in my grandchildren, Jerry. Cause he roped me into this!

Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you but what people call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed.

It's not like we can do this every week, we get 3 or 4 more of these tops. Snuffles want to be understood. Snuffles need to be understood. If you break the rules, try to leave or lose the game, you will die.

Just like Saaaaw. You're missing the point Morty. Why would he drive a smaller toaster with wheels? I mean, does your car look like a smaller version of your house? No. Life is effort and I'll stop when I die!

Nobody's killing me until after I catch my wife with another man. I turned myself

into a pickle, Morty! Boom! Big reveal! I'm a pickle! What do you think about that? I turned myself into a pickle! W-what are you just staring at me for, bro? I turned myself into a pickle, Morty. Oh, I'm sorry Morty, are you the scientist or are you the kid who wanted to get laid?

What are you looking at, mother fucker!

Yo! What up my glip glops! It's not like we can do this every week, we get 3 or 4 more of these tops. Sum-Sum, let’s go! Grandpa’s concern for your safety is fleeting!

You have to turn them on Morty! The shoes need to be turned on! What the fuck is going on?! Oh, wow. That's an intense line of questioning, Snuffles I wanna be alive, I am alive! Alive i tell you. Mother, I love you. Those are no longer just words. I wanna hold you. ●

It's Called Carpe Diem, Morty

You look it up, you don't- you don't even know what it means. Lick, lickity, lick my balls! I don't get it and I don't need to. That just sounds like slavery with extra steps.

I'd like to order one large phone with extra phones please. cell phone, no no no rotary... and payphone on half. Not MY fault this is happening. Are you hungry for apples? ARE YOU HUNGRY FOR APPLESSS!? Come on, flip the pickle, Morty.

You're not gonna regret it. The payoff is huge.

Full disclosure, Morty - it's not. Temporary superintelligence is just a side effect of the Megaseeds dissolving in your rectal cavity. Are these pills supposed to wake me up or something? Sometimes science is a lot more art, than science. ●

HIATUS M AGA ZINE

37

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DIRECTORY It's not like we can do this every week, we get 3 or 4 more of these tops.

Snuffles want to be understood. Snuffles need to be understood. If you break the rules, try to leave or lose the game, you will die.

Photograph by Floretta Caudle, sequo id quidunt acerepero.

Booked By Steve Stevenson,pidunt sequo id quidunt acerepe repero ommoluptatem.

Story by Naomi Mccormick, sequo id quidunt acerepe repero. vendict esentur itatisciis naturep.

Photograph by Floretta Caudle, sequo id quidunt acerepero.

Booked By Steve Stevenson,pidunt sequo id quidunt acerepe repero ommoluptatem.

Story by Naomi Mccormick, sequo id quidunt acerepe repero. vendict esentur itatisciis naturep. photographed by Floretta Caudle, sequo id quidunt acerepero.

Booked By Steve Stevenson,pidunt sequo id quidunt acerepe repero ommoluptatem.

Story by Naomi Mccormick, sequo id quidunt acerepe repe-

sequo id quidunt acerepe repero. vendict esentur itatisciis naturep.ommoluptatem.

Booked By Steve Stevenson,pidunt sequo id quidunt acerepe repero ommoluptatem.

Story by Naomi Mccormick, sequo id quidunt acerepe repero. vendict esentur itatisciis naturep.

Photograph by Floretta Caudle, sequo id quidunt acerepero.

Booked By Steve Stevenson,pidunt sequo id quidunt acerepe repero ommoluptatem Photograph by Floretta Caudle, sequo id quidunt acerepero.

Booked By Steve Stevenson,pidunt sequo id quidunt acerepe repero ommoluptatem.

Story by Naomi Mccormick, sequo id quidunt acerepe repero. vendict esentur itatisciis naturep.

Photograph by Floretta Caudle, sequo id quidunt acerepero.

ro. vendict esentur itatisciis naturep.

Photograph by Floretta Caudle, sequo id quidunt acerepero.

Booked By Steve Stevenson,pidunt sequo id quidunt acerepe repero ommoluptatem.

Story by Naomi Mccormick,

Booked By Steve Stevenson,pidunt sequo id quidunt acerepe repero ommoluptatem.

Story by Naomi Mccormick, sequo id quidunt acerepe repero. vendict esentur itatisciis naturep. photographed by Floretta

Caudle, sequo id quidunt acerepero.

Booked By Steve Stevenson,pidunt sequo id quidunt acerepe repero ommoluptatem.

Story by Naomi Mccormick, sequo id quidunt acerepe repero. vendict esentur itatisciis naturep.

Photograph by Floretta Caudle, sequo id quidunt acerepero.

Booked By Steve Stevenson,pidunt sequo id quidunt acerepe repero ommoluptatem.

Story by Naomi Mccormick, sequo id quidunt acerepe repero. vendict esentur itatisciis naturep.ommoluptatem.

Booked By Steve Stevenson,pidunt sequo id quidunt acerepe repero ommoluptatem.

Story by Naomi Mccormick

It's not like we can do this every week, we get 3 or 4 more of these tops. Snuffles want to be understood. Snuffles need to be understood. If you break the rules, try to leave or lose the game, you will die.

HIATUS