Document - Damian K Sheiles | A collection of very short stories, song lyrics and poems

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CONTENTS

Two Very Short Stories Top of the World...............5

combination type layout form style before secondary challenge expand understand art formative drawn different font cover book time design assignment right content hand-drawn title character treasure book comic catalogue myriad possibility hand every illustrate discipline computer skill text remember magazine open vision technical working wood metal finer pen brush paint fascinated colour primary

Conception........................... 7 Song Lyrics Morphine...............................9 Stars.......................................10 Neverland..............................11 Sentiment.............................12 Little Song.......................... 13 Empire Fire Town.............15 CrossRoad.......................... 16 Winter Storm.....................17 Optimystic.......................... 18 The Space Station Mystery................................. 19 Pulse.....................................20 11:11............................................21 Tunnel................................... 22 Chasing Dragons............ 23 Parallel................................. 24 Poems Journey’s End.................. 28 Presence............................. 29 Forty two............................ 31 Sentinel................................ 33

Top of the World I am on top of the world. I am a window cleaner, a high-rise building window cleaner.

When I was a boy I was deathly afraid of heights, my hearing troubles and eventual deafness led to massive bouts of vertigo whenever I was high above the ground. So I remained two feet cemented to the ground most of the time, but in my dreams I would fly.

The sort of flying I dreamt was unlike those envisioned on Saturday morning children’s shows or that of Peter Pan. It was truly unique; the closest I can describe it with words is “blue wind”.

Imagine free falling with an aura of silver blue all around your body acting in the same way that an insect utilises feeler antennae. Resonating the physical plane around you. It was a safe environment and one I longed to experience in the real world, so I conquered my fears and became a high-rise window cleaner.

My favourite part of the day is my lunch time break. When I can sit on my cable suspended trolley, legs dangling over, and fifty stories up.

The endless blues of a summer day take me away to a place few of us can barely imagine. Being able to see the pigeons and seagulls that have come in from the coast to feed off the city populace soaring below and above me is amazing. Sometimes I can feed them from my trolley and I’m forever delighted with their aerobatics. When it is cold and grey I can see the world stripped bare for all that it is. Our cities too have their bad days and I try to comfort her.

“Hey it’s alright to feel down, the foolish people know not what they do,” I yell with arms outstretched.

Clouds part and the sun reflects on another building’s glass skin; the city smiles.

My job is a mirror paradox. In silence, I can see the world and in silence the world can see me. All the building’s inhabitants can see me through their shiny office windows but I can’t see in from my side, through the reflective glass. I constantly see myself. It’s good to have an identity. Sometimes I talk at my reflection to see how my words sound. It has been years since I heard my voice and I rarely ever use it. I communicate with my other senses; my sight provides me with all the understanding I need. I suppose being deaf helps with my job. The wind and traffic would only serve to distract and take away the joy from my quiet utopian environment.

I remember feeling the rush of wind as a helicopter, too close for comfort, chopped beside me in static flight.

The power of the rotor blades was overwhelming. Blowing me to one side and losing my balance, I fell from the trolley and was left hanging by my harness three metres below the safety of my ledge. I remember how ‘loud’ the vertigo and falling and beating of my heart was. And I thought for a moment, did I hear something? Then ALL returned to silence and I just swayed in the breeze for a while. No one saw. No one ever looks up in the city and nobody inside my building seemed alarmed either. I was not surprised after all, I am on top of my world.

CONCEPTION

Conception Once upon a time all the great stories began with, Once upon a time. As this is no exception let us begin…

Once upon a time there lived a little girl called Aurora. She lived in a town not very far from your own. In a house that overlooked a great valley. Her room was on the top floor of a three story townhouse and at night she could see all the stars as they blinked down at her.

Aurora secretly knew she was a princess and that a great destiny awaited her. She wasn’t quite sure what it would be but she knew it would be filled with excitement, adventure and danger.

Her secret was the cause of many frustrating conversations with her mother. Aurora’s mum wasn’t aware that secretly her daughter was a princess and that in turn she was secretly a queen. Aren’t all mothers queens?

“Mum. If I’m secretly a princess, doesn’t that make you the queen?”

Aurora would ask.

“Sweetie” Aurora’s mum sighed. “Yes I’m the Queen and this is my kingdom and in my kingdom we all have clean rooms – now please go up stairs and clean yours up” Aurora wanted to be the best princess she could be so she skipped upstairs to clean her room. After she had stuffed her toys under the bed, tucked her sunny doll under the doona cover and put her pens and notepad on top of her purple table, Aurora paused to ponder the outside world. She looked out her window across the valley and stared at the stars. Her favourite northern star was shining brighter than ever before and she knew

something was up! Aurora watched it as it shone brighter and brighter until its radiant light filled the sky. Suddenly it shrunk back to its normal size and darted across the sky. A falling star.

Aurora carefully watched the star’s decent, making a mental note in her head so she could remember where it was heading. For she knew if the star fell to earth, well, that would be the end of it? All the other stars would see what had happened and they might want to do the same and follow the star down to earth and then there would be no stars left in the night’s sky. “That would not do” Aurora thought to herself. “The moon wouldn’t have any friends to talk with at night while everyone below is sleeping?”

She decided she would have to catch that falling star and throw it back into the sky so the moon wouldn’t be lonely. Aurora put on her jeans and jumper and pulled her warmest jacket over her shoulders. She put on her woolliest socks and her favourite black boots and she crept silently into the kitchen. As she crawled past her mother she grabbed an apple, a small packet of rice bubbles and some chocolate chip cookies which were all stored low in the pantry. Away she slipped through the back door and out into the night.

A U G U S T S O N G LY R I C S

Morphine As you hold your face heavy in your hands As you weigh it all up and begin to understand As the process accelerates and you shift down again As your system is compromised, you get ready to crash It comes on slowly from the base of your spine Only mildly intense and the same every time Indifferent by the feeling and lost inside It comes on all friendly Now that you’ve gambled away the fate held in your hands Well it didn’t cost much, only about twenty grand There is no consequence and hopefully no contraband And the process accelerates as you shift down again All systems are compromised where did you put that stash?

It comes on slowly from the base of your spine Only mildly intense and the same every time Lost inside this feeling and motionless in mind It comes on so friendly Well you’ve dropped the fate that you held in your arms You weighed it all up and didn’t see the harm That the bliss and the fall was all part of the charm And the process accelerates as you shift down again It may be far too late You are about to crash

Stars I look into your eyes They tell me your secrets Deep green doorways Into your world I look beyond your soul Far beyond your eyes Through looking glass windows And one million lives I sense your smile rising Feel your heart pounding Silhouettes dancing Essence of life Falling through time Through time and space I fall from your grace And only one thing remains Everything changes I watch as it falls Slips through my fingers And fades from me My phoenix from fire My moths to the flame All fuel is exhausted And nothing is the same In your eyes tonight - stars - shine In your eyes angel - stars - shine Running through fields I see ghost images I’ve lost my horizon And found dark reflections My heart isn’t beating I can’t feel my feet My body is weighted Hollow and deep Souls to the flame Our lives to the fire Burning all reason And our desires In your eyes tonight - stars - shine In your eyes angel - stars - shine In your eyes tonight angel - stars - shine The stars in your eyes - shine

Neverland Have you ever wanted to be forever Numb from the mind down and floating away Have you desired, desired Eternal bliss, eternal bliss Have you been so high Felt your heart pounding You’ll never see the lights shine in your lover’s eye You’ll never feel the sun burn you when you fly You’ll never hear the sea calling out alright You’ll never be with me, you’ll never be Have you ever wanted to sleep forever With your senses on fire, on fire, and burning you inside Do you really want it A slow death and a slow fall Please think about it No more sunrise You’ll never feel the sun warm your pretty face You’ll never wake up again in this beautiful place You’ll never be with me again, you’ll never be You won’t be with anyone And you may be free…

Never, ever, never again Never, ever, never again

Sentiment Do you remember that time We stayed up all night And shared with each other Our flesh and our minds Do you remember how amazing How amazing it felt And the smell on the sheets We rolled throughout Do you remember the look The look on my face As I stared into you And the promises we made We made it feel safe Feel safe and feel right Do you remember that time Remember that night Memories will lead you Where you need to go Don’t let them take over and Never, ever let them go I’m so thrilled you remember And reflect on these times They will always be with you Startling your mind For if we forget The beauty of it all There would be no point In love, passion and soul And if we forget To let go of past pain Bruised hearts won’t heal To start all over again I’m so happy you remember Remember it all Let the memories wash over Wash over it all

It’s time to let it all go now Falling down To the ground Push it down Underground This won’t hurt I promise you It’s time to let it all go now Before it comes Crashing down Let it sink Let it drown Let your fate wash over you I remember that time We stayed up all night And shared with each other Our skin and our minds I remember how amazing How amazing it felt And the smell on your sheets We rolled all about I remember the look The look on your face As I stared into you And the promises we made We made it feel safe Feel safe and feel right I remember that time And remember that night…

Little Song Here’s a little song to remember me by Dry your eyes baby, please don’t cry I’ve got to go now, I’ve got to fly This is it baby, this is goodbye Keep this little song to remember me by Hold it close to you and deep inside With you so lovely, I had a great time In your heart I found the counterpart to mine Here’s a little song to remember me by Dry your eyes baby, I know you did try You’ve got to go now, you’ve got to fly So take this song with you and say goodbye Say you’ll always love me and cherish the time We spent together when we were blind Always a wish away the binding of lives So I wrote this little song to remember it by

L P 2 S O N G LY R I C S

Empire Fire Town I’ve got to get back to the town That I love the most when I’m down I’ve got to get back there before I’m found It’s been too long since I saw my town It better not be empire down Empire down – fire town It better not be empire down Fire town – empire down Now I’m going back to the town That I miss the most when I frown I’m leaving this place and all these clowns With all their ghosts underground It better not be empire down Empire down – fire town It better not be empire down Fire town – empire down The inferno in my belly - It won’t burn out The hive alive in my mind - It wants out Shift into overdrive - I can’t stop now Not until I reach my destination now In empire town they say it’s the best So I was stunned to learn that you’d left No where to be found here of there Simply vanished into fire town air Far away from empire town) Fire gone – empire down Far away from empire town Fire gone – empire down That inferno in my belly - It starts to fade out And the hive alive in my mind - It got out Down shift to second - slow down now Thank you for visiting empire town Keys turn ignition and my foot to the floor It’s time to head off on a brand new course Now that I know its empire down I can finally leave this fire town

CrossRoad That’s pretty sick and wicked bad It tastes like something you’ve never had There’s some for the taking, none that you know And one to keep you walking this road That’s pretty far beyond your reach Your destination, the clouded beach Except for the knowing, the chosen few Being dragged along the road with you That’s pretty dirty for those crossed fucks You’ve seen it all, you’ve seen enough You’ll put them down, one by one With morals damned, coming undone That’s pretty close for your comfort Almost copped it from the sick pervert You’ll take your chances even bare the cross Even if it ends up costing the most Forever beyond the horizon we go Forever beyond the horizon we go Forever beyond the horizon we go Forever beyond the horizon we go That’s a pretty bad outcome for your lot Crossed with disease, filth and rot Ammo depleted, supplies are low Wonder how low you’ll have to go That’s pretty much where this journey ends It finishes when the child is the man There’s some for the learning, some to forget And these events are best left unsaid Forever beyond the horizon we go Forever beyond the horizon we go Forever beyond the horizon we go Forever beyond the horizon we go

You Are A Winter Storm So they say the road to hell is paved with good Intentions The safest way to travel there, divine intervention The sure-fire way to spite your face. Cut off your nose; mutilation So they say what matters most is the journey not destination You’ve got it all figured out, baby With debonair, charm and a little crazy You’ve got them all tricked, maybe?

With prestige, smiles and a little shady You are a winter storm in the summer time You are arctic ice on the equator line You bend the truth, distort it to your design You put the sour-puss in to the sublime You are a winter storm in the summer time You put the crooked in every straight line You are the soil above a hidden land mine You are a winter storm in the summer time Iced over lake sealed your fate It’s far too late; condolences Snow white red, poisonous friend Time and again; grievances Wind swept time - past your prime Best pantomime performances Rain soaked clothes, saturated soul Got to keep up appearances You’ve got it all figured out, baby With debonair, charm and a little crazy You’ve got them all tricked, maybe?

With prestige, smiles and a little shady You are a winter storm in the summer time You are arctic ice on the equator line You bend the truth, distort it to your design You put the sour-puss in to the sublime You are a winter storm in the summer time You put the crooked in every straight line You are the soil above a hidden land mine You are a winter storm in the summer time You ARE a winter storm in the summer time You’re a winter storm in the summer time You Are A Winter Storm

Optimystic You want to believe it’s true Though you know, you know it’s impossible Take a step, a giant leap of faith Stretch out your arms and glide through space You want to believe it’s true Though you know, you know it’s impossible Why does gravity disconnect from reality Believe me, you’ve been seen Soaring through the stratosphere Cosmonauts call their wives They can’t deny what’s caught their eyes Why does gravity disappear so completely

The Space Station Mystery It’s been two hundred years since I returned home And the face in the reflection of the window It’s not my own, own, own The phase engines kick in near the eye of Jupiter Automatic instruments taking me closer to home, home, home Passing the asteroid belts of Solaris I considered what happened and my mind began to roam, roam, roam Is god throwing paper planes throughout space Not caring how far they fly just beyond our range, range, range With the right fingerprints acquiring schematics Activated former identity and felt most strange, strange, strange Molecules altered and genetic mash up If I could do it all again there’s so much I would change, change, change Reverse engines wind down, time moves backwards the landing pad surrounds us As we connect with the main, frame, main Time-locked harnesses, trigger reactions I remember the mystery was hard to explain, claim, name Memories deceiving, grey matter tampered And if I did it all again I’d probably do it the same, same, way

Pulse I want to feel The way that it feels When I feel like singing Singing with you I want to hear The way that it sounds Once more with feeling Feeling with you I’ve got to change the way that I’m living And find a balance between the taking and the giving I’ve got to breathe, stop the regretting And find the line between prayers and the sinning I’ve got to stop, getting up my hopes I watch them fall down, to get back on the ropes I’ve got to check, sense my heart is beating And feel my pulse, underneath, retreating I’ve got to break my routine and habit Flick the shoulder devil, that cheeky zealot I’ve got to build with bricks, dreams and mortar Whole new Lego life, before it gets any shorter

11:11 It’s eleven oh one And look what you’ve done You’ve got it all over your hands At eleven oh two They’ll be coming for you And you don’t really understand At eleven oh three You’ll be down on your knees Begging forgiveness grand At eleven oh four You’ll reach for the drawer And pocket what they have banned It’s eleven oh five You start to feel revived Considering how clever you planned At eleven oh six and a sleeve full of tricks awaiting the final command It’s eleven oh seven All under heaven And everyone under the sand count to eleven oh eight With tempted fate You’re about to be un-manned And the Search lights are flashing red-blue, blue-red And the sirens are calling ‘Bring out the dead’ Angels with bird-wings dripping blood red Descending, quickly. They’re coming for you instead It’s eleven oh nine And you don’t have much time To find a way out of this mess At eleven ten You’ll pick up the pen And write it all down to confess It’s eleven eleven And all under heaven Are wondering what will come next Now past twelve AM It’s close to your end And there’s muted nothing left And the search lights are blinding blue-red, red-blue And the sirens are calling, calling out to you Angels with bird-wings dripping blood red Descending, quickly. They’re coming for you And the search lights are cutting red-black, black-red And the sirens are deafening inside your head The voices are screaming “you’ve been misled” They’re coming for you. They’re coming for you instead

Tunnel Pull away from the darkness within Come on get digging You’re in it up to your chin Push your head up Towards the red setting sky When you see it You don’t feel anything at all It lifts you up And takes you back to the wall Come on get up again You’re almost near the end Close your eyes now The heat burns and burns Shield your face now As it turns and turns and turns Can you see How it’s meant to be When the tunnel light shines So beautifully Can you see How it’s meant to be When the tunnel light ignites Amazingly Can you see How it’s meant to be When the tunnel lights up So radiantly Can you see Can you see The tunnel light shines So beautifully

Chasing Dragons There’s an arcade in town that’s hidden away You can only find it when the sky is grey To get past the man you have to know what to say With a tip of your hat down the spiral stairway Deeper and deeper past rot and decay Through the old iron gate by the statues of clay Your sharp trained eyes view the inferno Dante Patrons and dealers openly risqué So you slip it away, slip it away Takers givers, hazy blue smoke ballet Think yourself part of the underground cliché It’s the last time, the last plunge into the fray Fumbling through pockets for the secret sachet So many times that you’ve become blasé Go on treat yourself like it’s your birthday Head in your hands, eyes closed and body sway Colourful dreams take hold like rainbow puree And you’re drifting away, drifting away You’re there cos’ you need it You know that you want it Your wish is to have it Give in and you take it You’re there cos’ you need it You know that you want it Your wish is to have it Give in and you take it The ultimate thrill to keep the dragons at bay Chasing the illusion, see the world in x-ray Everything’s better when you see it this way Beware the night-friends and who they portray You’re caught in a loop rewind and replay The morning light rises, it must be Tuesday Your senses prevail don’t want to obey So you give it away, give it away You’re here cos’ you need it You know that you want it Your wish is to have it Give in and you take it You’re there cos’ you need it You know that you want it Your wish is to have it Give in and you take!

Parallel We lifted off fast Speeding through space together We arrived at last To the massive vortex horizon It sucked us in Dividing our current continuum And splitting our atoms It creates multiple universes Where are we going?

Drifting through unknown timelines Are we lost here?

Is that our parallel selves Guiding our way Back Home Running out of time Caught in the rift of another wormhole As we decline We set the auto return control Descending blind Traversing the midnight threshold Losing our minds It collapses multiple dimensions Where are we going?

Drifting through unknown timelines Are we lost here?

Is that our parallel selves Showing the way Back Home

POEMS

Journey’s End I wear my scars with shame and fear They are not to be seen, on my flesh. Not here.

I have become a scoundrel, a little villain ‘Twas not my intention.

Nor my vision.

My senses flare as they quicken.

Heart pounding hard.

Deep breath stricken.

Into anxiety, fast as I fell.

Right past consciousness.

Straight into...well.

Cannot go there, tis not bidden.

Saintly remain.

Sins not hidden.

Presence And when I remember the words you said… …images swim around instead.

And when I inhale your unique scent… …vertigo embraces my descent.

And when I imagine whom you’re with… …lightning strikes my crimson lips.

And then I remember the times I wish… …I let my sincerity slip.

And when I withdraw into myself… …I release tendrils of intimate doubt.

And after the words came out of my mouth… …I found myself completely engulfed.

And when I stumble into despair… …I find the world too much to bear.

And then I remember – hope in my heir… …and whisper my mantra prayer.

And when my veins course with adrenaline… …perceptions open – enhancing vision.

And then I coast through my lateral mission… …with paramount possibilities and strong intention.

And when my universe is balanced well… …I experience a full sense of self.

And when I release myself from its shell… …I’m in touch with the here, future and now.

forty two A monologue

Forty two

a monologue I’ve been waiting my whole life for the answer as if it would just magically make itself known to me without any of the hard searching.

Tell me little bird, what is the answer? “kaw kee koo” Forty two Is a probable answer to life the universe and everything. Everything!

I am forty two, am I the probable answer? I was born in the year 1972 under the sign of Gemini. I have two metaphorical heads and a brain that is in constant quarrel with itself. Am I the answer?

If I am the answer now, then was I the question before?

Who? Where?

When?

Why? What?

What is my question?

Does my spirit level measure up?

Do I have enough time?

Does the equation balance?

Can it be calculated mathematically?

Does logic apply?

Is it a matter of the heart?

Is the love that I feel equal to life’s adversity?

The answer is...

Sentinel She’s waiting for me Where the ground is warm She keeps them safe While I’m gone She holds the future In her arms She holds the past In her heart She is fierce She is love She is demons below And angels above She is solace She is calm I am stoic I am vigilant I protect and I survey I guard and I destroy My task is paramount My words are silent My actions, deafening I hold the line I stand my ground Never wavering I miss her face I miss her smell I want to go home I can never leave

This collection of short stories, poems and song lyrics is © Damian K. Sheiles 2019.

All Song lyrics are from the albums “August (2008)” and “LP2 (2011)”. These can be heard here: https://damianksheiles.bandcamp.com/album/august https://damianksheiles.bandcamp.com/album/lp2-remastered-2018 The short story “Top of the World” previously published.

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