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VOLUME 71 • ISSUE 22 • FEBRUARY 14, 2017

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Portland State Vanguard

Love & Sex M

Guide 2017

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO GET MY UTERUS REMOVED?

P. 10 AN ODE TO THE S I N G L E & BLISSFUL

P. 11 ALL YOU NEED T O K N O W TO

BE A GOOD STRIP CLUB PATRON

P.22

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HOW TO A C T R I G H T ON YOUR DATING APP

P. 21 WHERE OH WHERE DO I FIND MYSELF

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CONTENTS

NEWS: RATE MY ADJUNCTS INTERNATIONAL: TRUMP HAMMERS FINAL NAIL IN TPP COFFIN ARTS & CULTURE: CENTER STAGE EXPLORES PNW HISTORY OPINION: CHOOSE YOUR NEWS WISELY

STAFF EDITORIAL

PACIFIC UNIVERSITY

EDITOR-IN-DEEZ NUTS Colleen Leary

At Pacific University, care comes first. In undergraduate, graduate and professional programs across Pacific’s four campuses, students gain hands-on experience as they serve their communities through healthcare, education and so much more. Discover your future in a caring profession with Pacific University.

MANAGING EDITOR Tim Sullivan

pacificu.edu 800-677-6712 admissions@pacificu.edu

NEWS EDITOR Jon Raby ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR Alanna Madden INTERNATIONAL EDITOR Alex-Jon Earl ARTS & CULTURE EDITOR Matthew Andrews OPINION EDITOR Jennee Martinez COPY CHIEF Thomas Spoelhof COPY EDITORS Harlie Hendrickson Jacoba Lawson John Falchetta ONLINE EDITOR Andrew D. Jankowski CONTRIBUTORS Gray Bouchat Cassie Duncanson Emma Josephson Chris May John Pinney Christian Poindexter Ryan Morse Justin Thurer Nick Tool Devon Wanderon Anna Williams

PHOTO & MULTIMEDIA PHOTO EDITOR Silvia Cardullo PHOTOGRAPHERS Lauren Smith-Freimark Emma Josephson MULTIMEDIA MANAGER Andy Ngo

ART DIRECTION & DESIGN CREATIVE DIRECTOR Aaron Osborn COVER PHOTO BY COLLEEN LEARY, DESIGN BY AARON OSBORN. SPECIAL THANKS TO THE MODELS/ FRIENDS WHO HELPED OUT

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DESIGNERS Lauren Chapluk Terra DeHart Shannon Kidd Lydia Wojack-West Nimi Einstein Chloe Kendall Robby Day Max Wayt Aaron Ughoc MARKETING DESIGNER Skylar Nguyen DISTRIBUTION & MARKETING MANAGER Chaitanya Deshpande Venkate Naga Sai Dilip Daneti

ADVERTISING ADVERTISING MANAGER Madelaine Eivers ADVERTISING DESIGNER Sam Hicks ADVERTISING SALES Michael Hardy Ilyse Espino Caitlyn Malik

ADVISING & ACCOUNTING ADVERTISING ADVISER Ann Roman STUDENT MEDIA ACCOUNTANT Sheri Pitcher COORDINATOR OF STUDENT MEDIA Reaz Mahmood To contact Vanguard staff members, visit psuvanguard.com/contact. To get involved and see current job openings, visit psuvanguard.com/jobs Mission Statement The Vanguard’s mission is to serve the Portland State community with timely, accurate, comprehensive and critical content while upholding high journalistic standards. In the process, we aim to enrich our staff with a quality, hands-on journalism education and a number of skills that are highly valued in today’s job market. About The Vanguard, established in 1946, is published weekly as an independent student newspaper governed by the PSU Student Media Board. Views and editorial content expressed herein are those of the staff, contributors and readers and do not necessarily represent the PSU student body, faculty, staff or administration. Find us in print every Tuesday and online 24/7 at psuvanguard.com.

NEWS

RATE MY ADJUNCT THE PROBLEM WITH BEING A PART-TIME INSTRUCTOR JUSTIN THURER

ROBBY DAY Portland State adjunct professors are experiencing a growing, nationwide issue of being undercompensated. They’re not given the same benefits as their tenured counterparts, and their pay is significantly less than those just one pay grade above them. PSU junior psychology major Nawaf Aljahdali believes the standard should be higher than it currently is due to the rising cost of tuition. Aljahdali stated that it seems to him adjunct professors are being paid a “measly sum” for the work they put in when compared to full-time professors. This problem exists as much here at PSU as it does throughout the rest of the United States. PSU uses FTE, or full-time equivalent, to designate the status of its employees. If adjunct faculty are at an FTE of .49 or less, they are not eligible for any benefits. “Adjunct professors are allowed to have sick days, but that’s because it’s a requirement for the City of Portland,” said PSU adjunct professor *Seamus, who asked to remain anonymous in providing information. “You would need to work a certain amount of credits and for an extended period of time to receive health benefits from PSU,” Seamus said. “Since I belong to a teaching union, I’m able to have the cost of what I pay for private insurance reimbursed by the union itself. To receive this reimbursement though, you would need to be a union member for a certain time frame.” PSU uses online portal Portland State Careers to facilitate the hiring of employees. Including adjunct faculty, PSU has five main categories of professorial employment: instructor, which has the opportunity for promotion to senior instructor I and senior

instructor II, assistant professor, associate professor and professor. According to PSU’s website, the pay for these positions, excluding adjunct faculty, differs depending on whether or not the instructor or professor works for nine months or twelve months of the academic year. The annual pay rate ranges from $41,940 at the very bottom to $105,024 at the top, not including pay raises. Pay raises at PSU consist of either an 8 percent pay increase or the minimum for their new position, whichever is greater. As of Winter Term 2015, adjunct employees began making a minimum of $858 per credit. If an adjunct professor taught two four-credit courses every term in a year, they would make approximately $27,464 before tax. Many adjunct professors work as much as their higher FTE analogues but often work at multiple universities in order to find positions. Seamus said this disparity of wages makes it seem that adjunct professors have less to offer than full time faculty. “A professor with a Ph.D. is somebody who is educated in a very specific interest of research,” Seamus said. “It doesn’t mean they are more experienced or knowledgeable on their department’s curriculum than an adjunct with a master’s degree.” PSU’s “Policies and Procedures for the Evaluation of Faculty for Tenure, Promotion, and Merit Increases,” a 60-plus page document first adopted by PSU on June 12, 1996, details the necessary steps a professor needs to take in order to apply for tenure and the requirements to do so. Requirements such as “clarity and relevance of goals, mastery of

PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 14, 2017 • psuvanguard.com

existing knowledge, and appropriate use of methodology and resources” appear throughout the document. PSU junior mechanical engineering major Emily Chirinian is “greatly disappointed” by the quality of teaching at all three of the colleges and universities she has attended, and not just PSU. Chirinian believes that the “bottom line” is that professors don’t get paid enough and the quality of education at universities throughout the nation is suffering because of it. According to a June 2015 article from CNBC titled “Why does a college degree cost so much?” universities are spending more money on amenities to attract applicants than on bettering academic life for students and increasing wages for professors. PSU’s new Karl Miller Center, a complex that will house the new School of Business Administration building cost close to $60 million dollars and approximately 66 percent of funding comes from state bonds. PSU senior psychology major Ryan Wiltse believes colleges should provide more for professors and “invest more in education rather than gymnasiums and other luxuries.” Another factor to consider regarding the inequalities between adjunct and tenured faculty is the website Ratemyprofessors.com, which allows university students to assign ratings to professors and teaching assistants from colleges throughout the world. There are five categories that students give a 1–5 rating on: easiness, helpfulness, clarity, the interest of the rater in the subject prior to enrolling, and textbook usage, in addition to overall quality ratings. Adjunct faculty who work at

multiple universities are less likely to be accurately represented on the website. Another anonymous professor, *Thomas, from the College of Arts & Sciences at PSU, had a lot to say about Ratemyprofessor.com and the problems adjuncts face as opposed to tenured staff. According to Thomas, most students “don’t know the difference between an adjunct professor and a tenured one,” although there may be more grade inflation among adjuncts as, they “need students to like them in order to stay employed.” However, Thomas doesn’t believe students should have any greater expectations for their instructors or educational institution, regardless of tuition increases. “It would be interesting if Ratemyprofessor gave the option of listing staff as adjunct or not,” Seamus said. “Although I believe it would actually hurt an adjunct’s job because of the large misconception that adjunct status equates to a lower quality of teaching and experience.” “An adjunct professor might not be able to spend as much time with their students because we have to work at multiple schools,” Seamus explained. “I think our students can be negatively affected in that way. However, many of the adjunct staff are previous students of PSU, and I think that makes us stronger teachers in a way because we understand what it’s like to be the student here.” It is clear that the divergence in pay and benefits between tenured and adjunct faculty is a divisive issue and difficult to improve without public discussion. When adjuncts are required to reapply for their jobs every term, though, this becomes a risk they cannot afford to make. *Names have been changed.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

TPP: TRUMP PULLS PLUG

ORDER SIGNALS END OF CONTROVERSIAL TRADE DEAL CHRIS MAY

President Donald Trump signed an executive order withdrawing the U.S. from the Trans-Pacific Partnership on Jan. 23. The 12-nation trade agreement would have encompassed a region with nearly 40 percent of the world’s population and accounted for nearly 60 percent of global GDP. The deal, negotiated over the last seven years, was a keystone of the Obama administration’s trade policy. Secrecy surrounding the negotiation of the deal, extra-judicial processes allowing corporations to sue governments, and the implications on labor rights, intellectual property, and environmental protection were all points of contention for critics of the deal. Many of the initial details of the deal were only known after drafts were leaked. During the end of Obama’s term, the bill was more or less dead in congress. Shortly after winning election, Trump vowed to withdraw from the agreement, closing the door on any hope that it would be revived during the next administration. Joshua Eastin, assistant professor of Political Science at Portland State, weighed in on the implications of the withdrawal from the trade deal. He pointed out that it’s important to note the respective motives for bipartisan rejection of the deal. “While many on the left criticized TPP for not pushing hard enough to demand better practices in environmental and labor standards and human rights,” Eastin explained, “the idea that the TPP would reduce jobs in the U.S. is what ultimately sank it in the Trump administration.” “Great thing for the American worker, what we just did,” Trump said after signing the executive order withdrawing from the deal. Supporters of the deal pointed out its importance against the increasingly expansionist policies of China. When the full text of the deal was released in 2015, Obama said, “If we don’t pass this agreement—if America doesn’t write those rules—then countries like China will.” China, which was excluded from the deal, now seems poised to write the rules for trade in the region with its own multilateral trade deal, the Regional Comprehensive Economic Partnership. As Eastin pointed out, because of “China’s oft-stated reluctance to intervene in other nations’ domestic affairs, there is good reason to believe that a Chinese-led version of the

PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP SIGNED AN EXECUTIVE ORDER WITHDRAWING THE U.S. FROM THE TRANS-PACIFIC PARTNERSHIP ON JAN. 23. COURTESY OF USER GAGE SKIDMORE THROUGH FLICKR Trans-Pacific Partnership would not include many, or any, of the labor and environmental standards protections that were present in the TPP.” In addition, tensions have escalated as the U.S. and its allies try to maintain an economic and military presence. Eastin emphasized that some of the reasons for this are structural—push-back against expansion and conflict is inevitable—but that there are also ways that the new administration is exacerbating the situation. “[The] current regime…has demonstrated a remarkable willingness to challenge the status quo on issues like Taiwan and the OneChina policy,” Eastin said, “and has greatly amplified saber-rattling over China’s pursuit of territorial claims in the South China Sea.” As globalization marches on, domestic and international economies are being increasingly and inextricably intertwined. Trump has also promised to review the North American Free Trade Agreement

and implied that if his desired revisions to NAFTA can not be achieved, the U.S. will withdraw from the agreement with its two largest trading partners. Whether pulling out of TPP and embracing reform of other free trade agreements is the best path to protecting U.S. workers, however, is a point of contention. “In my view,” Eastin explained, “a far better approach to ensuring U.S. worker protection would have been to sign the deal, but couple it with policies designed to provide resources to U.S. firms and workers that would have been harmed, policies such as education and job retraining, and an enhancement of the Trade Adjustment Assistance Program.” According to its website, the Trade Adjustment Assistance Program is “a federal program that provides a path for employment growth and opportunity through aid to U.S. workers who have lost their jobs as a result of foreign trade.”

Fulfilling promises to kill trade deals that are already dead is still a long way from delivering on promises like, “I will give you everything. I will give you what you’ve been looking for for 50 years,” as Trump declared in a campaign speech in May 2016. Trump’s nomination of Labor Secretary Andy Pudzer, whose nomination process is being held up due to difficulties in meeting ethics requirements, has also been criticized by the left for his opposition to an increase in the minimum wage, as well as from the right for his advocacy of immigration reform that would offer legal status to undocumented workers. As if humanitarian, ethical, and constitutional concerns weren’t enough reason to condemn building walls, banning immigration, and courting conflict abroad, the justification of these unprecedented actions as means to protect and enrich the average American also must be met with the utmost scrutiny.

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INTERNATIONAL NEWS CHLOE KENDALL

‘MEXICO CITY RULE’ THREATENS HEALTH FUNDING GLOBALLY BY CHRISTIAN POINDEXTER

President Donald Trump issued a memorandum reinstating the so-called “Mexico City Rule” on Jan. 23. The memorandum cuts U.S. funding to agencies that offer abortion counseling to their patients globally. The name “Mexico City Rule” comes from the original incarnation of the memorandum enacted by President Ronald Reagan in 1984 and “has since been supported by every Republican president and opposed by every Democratic one,” the New York Times Editorial Board reports. Kayla Townsley, molecular biology and chemistry student at Portland State also participates in the Reproductive Justice Action Team on campus. RJAT is a club that “works to support the rights of people to make their own decisions about their re-

productive and sexual health, and to have access to knowledge and resources to help make those decisions,” according to the group’s mission statement. Townsley explained that the memorandum this time around expands on the initial gag rule from the Reagan administration. “It is not just placing restrictions on reproductive health clinics, but quite literally all health clinics, and now applies to a $9.5 billion budget [and] puts access to affordable healthcare for millions of people at risk,” Townsley stated. The order means not only cuts to family planning or abortion funding but also cuts to all healthcare; therefore, the clinics that will be especially targeted will be those which provide “birth control, cancer

and STI/STD screenings, to general checkups for people of all gender identities,” Townsley explained. As a personal matter, Townsley said that legislation like the memorandum “is quite literally taking away autonomy over our [women’s] bodies, controlling our access to healthcare and taking away our right to make important and informed life decisions.” The memorandum partially reads thus: “U.S. taxpayer dollars do not fund organizations or programs that support or participate in the management of a program of coercive abortion or involuntary sterilization.” When asked about the specific portion of the memorandum targeting coercive abortion, Townsley replied, “Coerced abortion is real and is something individuals survive

FEB. 5 LIBREVILLE, GABON

Cameroon edged Egypt 2–1 to take the 2017 Africa Cup of Nations football tournament.

FEB. 5 BUCHAREST, ROMANIA

Five hundred thousand protesters filled the streets of Romania’s capital to protest a bill that would have allowed for legalized graft and corruption, in spite of a just passed bill that ended those reforms.

FEB. 7 FRANCE

French President Francois Hollande visited a 22-year-old named Théo, whose alleged rape by police has set off days of protests throughout the nation.

Feb. 4– Feb. 10 Alex-Jon Earl

FEB. 9 UNITED STATES

A unanimous 9th Circuit Court of Appeals affirmed a lower court’s ruling that put President Donald Trump’s executive order restricting entry into the United States by residents and others with ties to seven predominantly Muslim nations on hold.

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through, often when domestic and interpersonal violence and abuse is present.” Townsley continued by stating that the plea to coerced abortion is “just a way to hide what the memorandum actually does— to legitimize and to masquerade the legislation as a savior for survivors of abuse, when it is not.” Ultimately the question comes down to a fundamental right to choice, which the “Mexico City Rule” is seen as obfuscating by creating numerous concerns like those surrounding coerced abortion. “There are hundreds of reasons why people may choose to have an abortion, and all are valid because it is that individual’s choice, it is that individual’s body, and it is that individual’s life,” Townsley said.

FEB. 10 NAUEN, GERMANY

German politician and avowed neo-Nazi Maik Schneider was sentenced to 8 years of jail for burning down a refugee shelter in 2015 during the height of the Syrian refugee crisis.

FEB. 10 RUSSIA

Intelligence reports indicate Russia is considering handing Edward Snowden over to the United States as a sign of good will to President Donald Trump. Snowden, who famously leaked thousands of documents to Glenn Greenwald and others, is currently living in Russia as a temporary asylum case.

FEB. 10 CANADA

Vince Li, found not criminally responsible for the beheading of a fellow passenger on a Greyhound ride in 2008, was released from government supervision.

ARTS & CULTURE

‘ASTORIA, PART ONE’: A STORY OF WEALTH, AMBITION AND SURVIVAL REVIEW BY CASSIE DUNCANSON

Chris Coleman, director and adaptor of Portland Center Stage’s production of Astoria: Part One, opened the performance just below center stage, asking the audience: “Are you ready?” It was clear from the cheers of the audience that there was a special night ahead, and the following two and a half hours didn’t disappoint—as illustrated by the standing ovation at the end of the performance. Astoria: Part One, adapted from Peter Stark’s book Astoria: John Jacob Astor and Thomas Jefferson’s Lost Pacific Empire, A Story of Wealth, Ambition and Survival, chronicles a westward expedition undertaken six years following Lewis and Clark’s. John Jacob Astor and Thomas Jefferson sponsored the expedition for the purpose of establishing a western settlement and creating a fur empire

in the as-yet-untapped Pacific Northwest. By the time the travelers made it to what became known as Astoria, nearly half had died due to violence, mental strain, and poor management and planning. As Astoria opens, ocean sounds filter in while the various players announce their presence on stage. We are introduced first to John Jacob Astor (played by Drammy awardwinner Leif Norby), his background as a businessman, and his initial idea to establish a fur empire in the northwest. The effect is like being slowly led into a storybook. Each cast member plays upward of three different characters, from key players to members of the ensemble—all distinguishable by costuming and dialect differences. History lovers will delight in the details and research that went into the production, particularly in regard to language and 19th-century travel. It was clear from the

CLASSICAL CHINESE CONCERT BRINGS ‘JASMINE BLOSSOMS’ TO PSU

moment the lights dimmed how much care where one can’t help but be reminded of the current state of the country. In the midst went into Astoria. Throughout the performance, the two par- of the expedition, one character remarks: ties encounter members of Arikara, Iowa, “That’s the beauty of a democracy—you can Shoshone, and Hawaiian nations. Dialect make your own choice.” It’s hard not to director Mary McDonald-Lewis utilized think about how few choices we seem to Elwood Mose’s and Loren Yellow Bird Sr.’s ex- have in our own democracy. The narrative, having begun with an inhale, pertise in bringing their respective languages closes with an exhale, further emphasizing authentically to life. The harrowing and treacherous journey the weight of the story’s events. Following record-breaking sales before is interspersed with moments of laughter and brevity. Partway through the journey, opening night, PCS extended Astoria’s run Montreal members of the overland expedi- for a full extra week; the show will continue tion continually ask if they’re any closer, like through Feb. 19’s matinee. Astoria: Part Two a small child asking “are we there yet?” on a will premiere in January 2018. Visit pcs.org/astoria-part-one for more incar trip. When the sea party finally sets foot on land, a Canadian-Scottish outdoorsman formation. Portland Center Stage participates remarks, “She’ll dry out surely—when the sun in Arts for All, run by the Regional Arts and comes out,” eliciting titters from the audience. Culture Council, a program which gives Oregon Although the play’s events take place in Trail Card holders the opportunity to purchase the early 19th century, there are moments $5 tickets for performances at the Armory.

THE CAST OF “ASTORIA: PART ONE” BRINGS WESTWARD EXPANSION TO LIFE. COURTESY OF JENNIE BAKER

THE PERFORMERS OF THE CHINESE DULCIMER CONCERT POSE FOR A PHOTO. EMMA JOSEPHSON/PSU VANGUARD EMMA JOSEPHSON The Confucius Institute at Portland State hosted a concert featuring the yanquin, a Chinese dulcimer, in Lincoln Hall on Sunday, Feb. 5. “Jasmine Blossoms in the City of Roses” featured four talented Chinese artists and composers. They played eight different pieces all inspired by the “colorful culture of China,” according to the concert program. The musicians included Dr. Yuening Liu, a yanquin player and professor at the Central Conservatory of Music.

The other performers were Jing Lu, Xuanye Mi and Susan Chan. Lu is a yanquin player who received her bachelor’s degree in Music Performing Arts at the Central Conservatory of Music, under Liu’s mentorship . Mi, a yanquin player and graduate student of the Traditional Department at the Central Conservatory of Music, majors in yanquin with Liu. Chan is a piano player who holds a doctorate from Indiana University and is currently an associate professor of music and Piano Area Coordinator at PSU.

Multimedia at psuvanguard.com

PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 14 2017 • psuvanguard.com

OPINION

STUMBLING THE INFORMATION HIGHWAY

404: Column Not Found by Ryan Morse

COURTESY OF USER REYNERMEDIA THROUGH FLICKR I consistently ask myself, “What am I even using Facebook for?” Despite the multitude of websites, communities and news outlets that are available at my fingertips, I keep falling to social media outlets for my news. I don’t want to debate the pros and cons of Facebook as a whole, but I do want to address something I think has become more and more apparent to us all: For many, Facebook and other social media outlets are becoming our primary news sources. There’s nothing inherently wrong with getting world news from social media outlets because it can definitely be a handy way of finding out critical breaking news. It also keeps you in the loop of news that’s relevant to your areas of interest. However, having it as your primary source for news is a terrible idea. The primary reason is pretty obvious: clickbait, or rather clickbait-y headlines. I’m not talking about the “AMAZING: HOW I MAKE $300 A DAY WILL SURPRISE YOU?!” type of headlines as much as the (somewhat) more subtle but equally concerning titles. You know the ones: “Breaking: Nike Just Released A Statement and It’s Bad” (cour-

tesy of Red State Watcher) or “Coke’s Superbowl Ad Just Taught Trump A Huge Lesson About America” (Occupy Democrats). As amusing as these headlines and articles can be, they don’t help us a lot, beyond allowing self-confirmation for our own biases. I see these articles—I’ve even shared them—and we’re not doing ourselves any good. We like them, share them and follow them. Pretty soon they become one of our top ways of finding out what is going on in the world, sometimes without us even consciously realizing. I’m not saying that social media should or shouldn’t be a political place, or that social media alone is guilty in terms of being a political time waster. Instead I want to remind everyone that in this social media-focused time, our time and attention is more valuable than ever, and for that reason we should streamline what we consume. With such a plethora of information out there, it’s easy to get results for anything we search for. There are a lot of terrible websites out there spouting a lot of garbage. When it comes to consuming news, we should use just that—news—not a social media page that distributes clickbait, not a self-proclaimed

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“alternative” news website, not YouTube videos, and absolutely not from conspiracy theorist websites. More than ever, we need to be aware of what we consume and how that shapes how we approach information and vice versa. For this reason, I have actively been trying to return to more print-based mediums like newspapers this year. The internet can be a black hole. Cable news suffers from being repetitive and hyperbolic because of the 24-hour news cycle they’ve trapped themselves in. While it is somewhat quaint reading words on paper, it also encourages self-control. Newspapers can try their best to be impartial and get different perspectives. I have personally found their biases easier to recognize. I’m able to read their articles with this in mind, without a burning desire to write a comment, send it to someone or leave an emoticon review of their work. If the paper does a bad job or misreports, we can address that in a letter to the editor—something a major news network typically won’t do and would definitely seem meaningless in a sea of toxic comments. It’s 2017, and how we access information has changed. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the newest way is the best.

Welcome to the Vanguard’s

Guide

Love & Sex

Welp, V-Day has arrived. For some this is an opportunity to celebrate relationships. For others, it’s a painful reminder that you don’t have a valentine. We here at the Vanguard believe Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a dreaded experience of shame and loneliness. If you have someone special to celebrate, we’re happy for you. We hope you’re in a healthy, fulfilling relationship with someone(s) who showers you with all the love and respect you deserve. If you’re single, we’re also happy for you. Now’s your chance to shower yourself with all that love and respect you deserve.

M COLLEEN LEARY/PSU VANGUARD

In this year’s Love & Sex edition, we give you just the tips to take your single power back, help you find sex and love related student groups, teach you how to act right at strip clubs, breakdown the best sex toys for boys and the ones who love them, and much more. Happy V-Daying.

LOVE & SEX GUIDE

DESTIGMATIZING SINGLEDOM GRAY BOUCHAT

VALENTINE’S DAY IS THE ONE day out of the year when romance blossoms. Your special someone pre-orders you some surprise flowers, or you wake up to a box of chocolates on the pillow next to yours. The wonders of Valentine’s Day never cease to amaze the coupledom of society; however, not everyone is part of a couple, or wants to be. Luckily for them, “special someone” need not be limited to the girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife/partner role. Being single is a celebration! Imagine not having to try to impress anyone or worry about anyone and instead just enjoying yourself. Revel in having extra cash because you don’t have to buy anyone anything. This Valentine’s Day, whether you choose to be single or not, just enjoy yourself! You are born into this world to love and know yourself. Before you fall into a deep sorrow because you don’t have that special someone this Valentine’s Day, why not recognize all the special people you do have in your life? Send your mom a special flower delivery. Watch a horror movie with your dad. Make treats with your siblings. If you’re feeling risky, third-wheel it with your best friend and his/her partner. (Not recommended, but hey, you do you!) Or, if you and your friend are both single, why not go on a friend date to a fancy restaurant where you normally wouldn’t eat?

Whether or not you have the traditional special someone, there is someone in your life. Hell, I am spending this Valentine’s Day with my cat. And it’s so easy—you don’t have to buy your pet chocolate or anything. “Does this dress make me look fat?” could get you a soft meow or woof—which, of course, translates to, “You look fab!” If you’re not a people person and choose to spend Valentine’s Day by yourself, have no fear because you aren’t by yourself: You have you. This Valentine’s Day, why not try something different and see if you enjoy it? Look up a recipe and try to make it. See how many marshmallows you can shove in your mouth. Try a new movie genre or a new Netflix series you normally wouldn’t watch. If you’re a bookworm, find a genre of book you normally don’t read and try it out! Heck, you could even do your homework! You’ll be all done with your homework while everyone else will be struggling to get it done that night. Something interesting about living in Oregon on Valentine’s Day is the fact that Feb. 14 is Oregon’s birthday. What better way to celebrate than by exploring the nature Oregon provides? Go to the Columbia Gorge or the Japanese Gardens! Treat yourself!

COLLEEN LEARY/PSU VANGUARD

VANGUARD • FEBRUARY 14, 2017 • PSUVANGUARD.COM

If you would rather be more productive, you can work on Valentine’s Day. It may not sound glamorous, but imagine it this way: people will be trying to get Feb. 14 off, and you can cover them. Now they owe you one! Not only will you have extra cash (to buy yourself something nice) but you will look great in your boss’ eyes and will have worked Valentine’s Day away. So regardless if you are single on Valentine’s Day by choice or not, just remember that you don’t need anyone else to have fun. You have you, and countless activities to keep you occupied. And the best part is, chocolate is half-off after Valentine’s Day, so go crazy—I know I will!

LOVE & SEX GUIDE

THE (ALMOST) UNIVERSAL GUIDE TO ENJOYING PORTLAND’S STRIP CLUBS ANDREW D. JANKOWSKI

STRIP CLUBS ARE UNIQUE BUSINESSES whose cultures vary from state to state, city to city, even zip code to zip code. We here in the City of Most Strip Clubs per Capita are truly spoiled by the volume and variety of strip clubs in Portland. Our downtown district has more strip clubs than are present in whole cities, all of which cater to distinct cultures, clients and tastes. If you’ve never been to a strip club before, they can seem daunting. But they’re not all what you see in cinema: exotic dancing is (rarely) a lazy cover for prostitution, almost all dancers have high selfesteem and self-value, and many dancers are not just “stripping their way through school,” but rather consider their work an essential, highly lucrative career. Take this advice, curated from Portland strippers and strip club workers via Facebook and supplemented with on-the-scene research, and you’ll be well on your way to enjoying almost every Portland strip club. CONSENT IS SEXY (AND REQUIRED) New patrons of strip clubs often struggle with how to interact with dancers. What is okay to look at, what is okay to touch, and how exactly do I pay you? All strip clubs have rules posted at their entries that you should always read over before entering. If you’re sitting at the rack (main stage of a club), asking dancers if you can slide crisp dollar bills into their underwear is always preferred (NEVER throw wadded up bills like garbage), which will then lead you to ask a dancer how you can interact with them from there. If you’re not sitting at the rack, “making it rain” (i.e. throwing dollars on stage and watching them fall on the dancers) is always a respectable, time-honored baller move. TIME IS MONEY: KNOW WHY YOU’RE THERE Clubs have a rule about how often you should tip (general rule is $1-2 per song), and will enforce said rule as they see fit. Some clubs have a dedicated staff member that will go around the club collecting dollars if they don’t see patrons tipping at the rack. Multiple dancers recommended going to a regular bar if you plan on spending less than $50 on dancers. Their advice is rooted in club economics: clubs can charge dancers a fee between $35 to 10 percent of their night’s revenue, while expecting dancers to pay for staff members like DJs. Clubs like Union Jacks, Mary’s Club, Devil’s Point, Lucky Devil Lounge, Casa Diablo and Sassy’s charge dancers fees in this price range.

AARON UGHOC Be honest with yourself about what you’re expecting when you enter a club, either by yourself or as a member of a group party. I’ve heard complaints from a lot of boys about not being into strip clubs because they can’t take the dancers home. Those boys completely miss the point of strip clubs. If you want to look at pretty performers or have a performer dance on you and/or a friend, be honest with yourself and honest with your dancer. If you really don’t want a lap dance, don’t pay for one or ask for one. If you just want to talk to someone, you can tip them for their time and/or buy them a drink (or mozzarella sticks). UNDERSTAND WHY YOUR ENTERTAINER PERFORMS Dancers do not work because they are trying to find new friends or romantic partners. Like any commission-based salesperson, dancers are looking to make the most money in an hour as possible. Birdie le Tramp of Kit Kat Club says many Portland female dancers are queer and not even faintly attracted to their patrons, yet act interested in customers because it’s what they want and expect. A dancer who identifies as Trouble of The Gold Club says it’s extremely inappropriate to call a dancer outside their name given to you at the club: Dancers use aliases to protect themselves from prying employers, family members,

and patrons trying to violate their privacy. Some dancers are okay getting to know you, and some want to keep the experience impersonal. Each performer has their own boundaries. Find out what they are before violating them, and everyone will have a good time. DO NOT EAT AT THE RACK Some clubs, like the Acropolis, Club Rouge and Spyce Gentlemen’s Club, are known for serving full meals at the club, usually a steak-based dinner. Apparently, it bears repeating that you should not take your dinner up to the rack. The rack is not your dinner table, it is another person’s work space. There is a huge difference between drink condensation bleeding through a napkin and carelessly spilled A1 Sauce, especially if this is on a surface where one spends most of their shift exposing their nude body and/or genitals. I’ve heard that nobody likes Worcestershire sauce in their vagina, and I can’t see anyone arguing a counterpoint. LITERALLY NOBODY LIKES A HOMOPHOBE Signage at Silverado, Portland’s oldest male strip club, reads, “If you’re here, you’re queer,” and is sometimes translated as not being welcoming of heterosexual people; they have banned bachelorette parties since 2012. According to a Portland Mercury

article, the idea behind these policies is to create an environment ideal for gay men, one which should keep homophobic admirers of male bodies outside the club. Meanwhile, Stag PDX (Portland’s other male strip club) does not have a similar policy, meaning straight people and bachelorette parties are welcome. Ryan Simsich, Stag PDX’s manager, says that there is a dress code in place barring gaudy decor like flashing penis crowns because they distract both dancers and patrons. Both clubs have different atmospheres, and it’s worth attending both to get a feeling for those differences. Birdie says some of her patrons voice displeasure with the idea of men dancing for men. She and her coworkers are not interested in listening to these opinions and will judge people with these opinions accordingly. Don’t be the person strippers mock backstage using an annoying voice. It’s so easy to not be that person. WHERE CAN I USE ALL THIS ADVICE? In addition to all of the clubs mentioned in this article (the majority of which have been extensively covered in local and national press), try visiting one of Portland’s unsung treasures, like Club 205, DV8, Rose City Strip, Dancin’ Bare, Safari, Golden Dragon and the Scarlet Lounge (a.k.a. The Pitiful Princess until 2016).

PSU VANGUARD • FEBRAURY 14, 2017 • PSUVANGUARD.COM

LOVE & SEX GUIDE

V-DAY STANDS FOR VICTORY, VALENTINE AND VAGINA LAURYN SMITH-FREIMARK/PSU VANGUARD

CHEAP DATES WITH DEVON

DEVON WANDERON Midterms should be over by the time you read this. Unfortunately, as I write this midterms are still in full swing. It is for this very reason that I condensed my Valentine’s Day search to the “V-Day” abbreviation; last minute cramming requires every saved second. Expecting to find Valentine’s Day dating ideas—which is, after all, the aim of this article—I was delightfully surprised to find the top few results linking instead to the “V-Day” Global Movement to End Violence Against Women and Girls webpage. Not only did I learn about the above movement (check ’em out for yourselves!), I also found a title for this article, which ousted the title I had previously planned on using: “Valentine’s Day dating ideas for broke-ass college students.” Too many words. After all, February 14 isn’t just about typical Valentine’s Day activities. If our dating ideas list doesn’t tickle your fancy, don’t be afraid to perform a few Google

searches of your own. Perhaps you will stumble on a movement worthy of your support or an interesting fact that has nothing to do with your initial search. For example, did you know Portland turns 166 years old this February? And Oregon’s birthday is on V-Day itself! Without further delay, here is the promised collaborative Valentine’s Day dating ideas list for broke-ass college students that I know you’ve been patiently awaiting:

Classic movies at Laurelhurst, Cinema 21, 5th Avenue Cinema, Revolution Hall, Northwest Film Center, etc. Make sure to watch something completely unrelated to Valentine’s Day, thereby maintaining your hipster status. Do one of those playful movie fashion montages at Buffalo Exchange. Buy nothing. Film everything.

Plan a dessert-loop walk. Be sure to hit one or both of Cacao Drink Chocolate’s two Dollar store shopping spree! There’s a Dollar downtown locations. If you haven’t ever had Tree and a Goodwill on West Burnside (and drinking chocolate: it is to hot chocolate as all over the rest of town), and you never espresso is to coffee. Time your walk so that know what you’ll find at a dollar store. just as you’re finishing one cup of chocolate— hey, there’s Cacao again, let’s get another! Print out some vintage valentines off the internet and fill a kiddie swimming pool Build an indoor fort, binge-watch cheesy romwith them. Let your lover(s) wade in the coms, binge-eat dessert, binge-nap. valentines until they are tired and then offer them ramen. Talk about good times, am Get your dance on! There are plenty of I right? cheap classes, and Portland Dancesport,

VANGUARD • FEBRUARY 14, 2017 • PSUVANGUARD.COM

HobNob Grille and Norse Hall all offer free group lessons for your first visit. Stay the classic route and cook a mouthwatering home-cooked meal. If the weather’s not too bad (and even if it is), you can burn off those calories strolling the city streets or going for a hike in a city park. (Pro-tip: Impress your partner by calling it a dérive.) Check out the new Green Zebra Grocery across the street from Cramer Hall. Get cozy in their tiny aisles and shop together for that home cooked meal! If all else fails: Dress up in drag and try to sneak into Darcelle’s. Once inside, somehow convince everyone you both know all the lyrics to Prince’s “Kiss” and then proceed to sing it as a duet (even though it’s not a duet traditionally). Bonus points if you sing the horn breakdown from the Art of Noise (feat. Tom Jones) cover version.

LOVE & SEX GUIDE

SEXY STUDENT GROUPS CASSIE DUNCANSON

SEX WEEK AT THE QUEER RESOURCE CENTER A conversation with QRC office manager Melanie Altaras Vanguard: What are some of the QRC’s goals? How have you seen these goals succeeding on campus? How are these goals evolving? Altaras: The QRC works to give students along spectra of gender and sexuality any support they may need to navigate PSU safely and graduate! We also want to ensure that all of campus, not only our center, is inclusive of and accessible to queer and trans students. We do these things by maintaining our center’s comfy lounge space, hosting lots of events and programming, as well as doing behind-the-scenes campus policy and advocacy work. VG: What about the events and programs excites you? Makes you happy? MA: Sex Week is my favorite annual event at the QRC! It’s planned and organized by a committee of student volunteers, and it’s a chance to reclaim sex education and sexpositivity with a queer lens. The stories of queer and trans people are left out of most conversations and education around sexual themes as we’re growing up, and now we have a chance for a redo! VG: Does the QRC work with other groups on campus? MA: All the time! For Sex Week, we are doing collaborative events with Illuminate, the Neuroscience Club, and the WRC’s Reproductive Justice Action Team. We also frequently partner with the Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies department, the Women’s Resource Center, and the Cultural Resource Centers. Sex Week runs Feb. 13–17 and is, according to the QRC’s webpage, a “weeklong series of events focused on discussing and learning about sex and sexuality in queer and trans communities.” The campus community can look forward to panels on asexual identities, sexuality and disability, sex and trans bodies, discussions about kink, consent workshops, erotic writing workshops, and many others. Students looking to learn or get involved with the QRC can visit pdx.edu/ queer for information about education, outreach, research and support. The QRC loves to see new faces at their events and volunteer opportunities.

ILLUMINATE: SEXUAL AND RELATIONSHIP VIOLENCE PREVENTION A conversation with coordinator Amy Kayon Vanguard: I was wondering if you could talk a little bit about the work you do for Illuminate. Kayon: My work as the coordinator is still being defined, in many ways. This program is just a little over a year old, so we are figuring some of this out as the program grows. My primary focus is program development. Program development is a broad concept but my focus is listening to the PSU campus community about prevention needs, holding best practices in mind while delivering comprehensive prevention to our campus. This includes supervising paid peer staff, volunteers, and interns who diligently offer support and services to make Illuminate successful. VG: How have you seen the goals of Illuminate succeeding (or needing to be worked on) on campus?

AK: Illuminate is using the power of education to promote healthy relationships and sexuality by addressing the underlying social determinants of violence to create equal and respectful relationships. I think Illuminate has been incredibly successful in its first year, and the second year is shaping up to be equally successful and exciting. That being said, there are always going to be aspects of this program that merit critique and evaluation. We are developing at such a rapid pace, we need to continue to keep evaluation in mind as a way to ensure we are meeting the needs of the campus community and to ensure efficacy of the programming we have in place. VG: What about Illuminate and the events and programs excites you? Makes you happy? AK: Illuminate’s growth and development coming from student, faculty, and staff input has been totally invigorating. The ability to create meaningful and comprehensive prevention efforts at an urban, commuter campus is not something I take for granted.

VG: What do you hope students and community members ultimately take away from these events? AK: It’s Our Place is our active bystander workshop. Bystander intervention is an approach that can be used to improve situations where it looks like someone could use some help. The approach is about being an active, positive contributor, instead of ignoring the situation or expecting someone else to step in and fix it. Bystanders are witnesses who recognize there is risk of harm. Passive bystanders are people who choose, for whatever reason, to ignore the situation or to do nothing about it. Active bystanders are people who do something to try and improve the situation. How to Hook Up is our consent workshop designed to provide students with the education, skills and the opportunity to understand and practice consent in a supportive space. This workshop will allow you to understand and practice the whys, whats, and hows of talking about sex with a partner. VG: What are some events to look forward to? AK: An evening with Brenda Tracy. Denim Day! We will be hosting a campus-wide event that is tied to this international day of victim-blaming awareness. Details TBA soon! VG: What are ways students can get involved? AK: Inquire with me about volunteer and graduate internships. Sign up for our newsletter. Check out our website for workshops and awareness events and other ways to engage with current programming. VG: Does Illuminate work with other groups on campus? AK: Yes! International Student Life, Housing, Athletics, Orientation, RCSC, QRC, WRC, various academic programs, to name a few. We have been very fortunate to have such amazing campus partners enthusiastically engage with prevention. Visit pdx.edu/shac/illuminate for more

information about events, volunteering, support, and advocacy.

An incomplete list of campus groups that discuss sex/sexuality:

PSU Bifeminist Alliance Women’s Resource Center Women’s Resource Center Reproductive Justice Action Team Women, Gender & Sexuality Department PSU Polyamory Club Student Alliance for Sexual Safety Portland State University Planned Parenthood Generation Action Team

SILVIA CARDULLO/PSU VANGUARD

PSU Rainbow Vikings

PSU VANGUARD • FEBRAURY 14, 2017 • PSUVANGUARD.COM

LOVE & SEX GUIDE

DATING APPS: DO’S AND DON’TS

Don’t: Bring up any major conversational land mines. No religion, politics or negativity. Avoid making a lot of statements that start with “I” when setting the tone for messages. Do not send jumbled nonsense full of made-up spellings and errors. Making a first impression relies on how well your message is written.

NICK TOOL

Do: Keep the conversation light. Choose topics that make conversation comfortable, fun and interesting. Ask questions, be a good listener, stay polite and steer away from anything taboo. Most importantly, write accurately and effectively. Keep it short, upbeat and open.

Online dating has created a nuanced social environment, and each site or app can have its own subculture. Handling a conversation can depend on a specific app, sexual preference, age range or location. However, there is a universal rule that applies to every app: Keep your genitals to yourself. This article covers the do’s and don’ts of starting a conversation and going out on dates using popular dating apps. (If you want to see an example of some spectacular failures, check out the Instagram account @Tindernightmares.)

Don’t: Post one photo, several bad photos or six group photos with multiple common people in each photo. Try to exclude bad habits from photos as well. If every single photo has a cigarette, beer bottle, shot glass, bong or gun in it, then expect to turn some people off. Blank profiles are also a non-starter. Avoid a poorly written profile, lots of negativity or lying. It is hard to message someone with a weak profile, and most folks will not put in the effort.

Do: Use dating apps when looking for romantic relationships. Tinder, Bumble, PlentyOfFish, and OKCupid are among the most popular free online dating arenas. Don’t: Message-blast attractive people at random on Facebook or LinkedIn with things like “Hey, beautiful.” In fact, strike that line from your list of potential openers across all formats.

Do: Create a profile that showcases who is really on the other side of the screen. Pictures should be fun, flattering and varied. The about me or biographical section of the profile should be accurate, positive, informative and fun to read. To use a personal example: On Tinder, my profile was a choose-your-own-adventure. Anyone interested in speaking to me was prompted to choose a number from the listed options, and I would respond accordingly. I gave matches the opportunity to dictate how the conversation would go right out of the gate.

Do: Remain open to the idea of going out on a real date and interacting with people offline. Picking a venue that is comfortable and familiar is a great way to get over the anxiety that comes with meeting a stranger for a date. Don’t: Send copied and pasted pick-up lines, brief “Hey,” “Hi,” “Hello” messages or random statements that do not welcome conversation. Also, do not pursue a pointless conversation after establishing the other person’s intentions. If conversation is all you both express interest in, then carry on. If there is a denial or rejection in the conversation, then move on. There is someone else out there. Do: Read through the profile or about me section of the user you would like to contact. Keep in mind there is another human being on the other side of the message. Composing something polite and congenial that is open enough to elicit a response will yield much better results. Establish a connection and ask someone out on a date.

VANGUARD • FEBRUARY 14, 2017 • PSUVANGUARD.COM

LAUREN CHAPLUK

There are many subtle elements in each online dating app that require experience to pick up. The key to a successful start is in the tips posted above. Online dating is just a means to meet people outside the usual haunts of work or school; it is not a totally separate world. It is designed to supplement a social life by connecting people for romantic relationships. It is not a replacement, and it is not a place to premiere your latest shirtless bathroom selfie or bikini-beach-butt photo. Be polite, be a good listener, be honest and do not show anyone your penis if they have not asked to see it.

LOVE & SEX GUIDE

CLICK HERE FOR BOOTY

WEBSITES FOR THE LONELY AND LOOKING ALEX-JON EARL Oh god, you’re so horny. Ohhhh soooo horny. Yeah, baby. But you’re by yourself! And you don’t want to actually get up and go to a bar or fabricate a “chance” encounter somewhere. Also, cranking your hog or ringing the devil’s doorbell isn’t fun anymore. Damn, what are you going to do? Might I suggest the internet? Thanks to the magic of the internet you are now able to, well, you know what. You already know what’s up. Let’s do the thing.

WARNING: HETERO CONTENT

These are mostly for the straight folks out there, so don’t expect to get you a hot twink here unless he’s on the DL.

Farmers Only farmersonly.com According to the commercials you don’t have to be lonely with farmers only dot com, which begs the question: Does farming making you antisocial or something? Or are farmers too good for OKCupid? Anyway, I’ve heard good things. Log on and say “hay.” Christian Mingle christianmingle.com Want to live a life where your Saturday night is full of “oh god, yes, oh god, yes” and your Sunday is full of embarrassed blushing as you recall the blessed union wherein you used His name in vain, you sinner? It’s cool, we’re all sinners, right? Log on and say “pray.”

Manhunt manhunt.net ENDLESS STREAMS OF JIZZ FLYING IN EVERY DIRECTION. Log on and practice your breathing. Realjock realjock.com ENDLESS BALLS FLYING AT YOUR FACE. Five hundred dudes on recreational volleyball and rugby teams want you to know how masc4masc they are. Log on and say “bro.”

Match.com match.com Those smooth grandpa ads enticed enough queer folk to get him to let us on his webpage, so everyone is welcome. There’s some kind of science involved, and I’m pretty sure their advanced booty matrix bodes well for you. Log on and say “an + bn = cn”

Ashley Madison ashleymadison.com I’m gonna bang your husband. You’re gonna bang your neighbor’s wife. It’s all classy and above board “alternate arrangements.” You might not want to log on here if you’re a politician, but then again you might. Log on and say, “it’s not cheating if they’re both your boyfriend.”

W4W

“Ugh, there aren’t any REAL dating sites for women who are lusty for a W4W (or W4WW or WW4WW, etc.)!” I know, gentle reader, I know. But there are cool apps, and I’m not going to let male-identified folks that might not be on the up and up horn in on ya.

FUN FOR EVERYONE

Let’s just let everyone in on the fun. These websites cater to just about any combination legally permissible. OKCupid okcupid.com Remember when you took those quizzes that asked what type of lover you were? Well, OKCupid is a dating site and those quizzes were total bullshit. And the site does have a slight fedora infestation, but that’s okay because it’s awesome anyway. Log on and say “r u in my city? ”

CLICK FOR DICK

Male-identified dudes might wanna hop on here for a good M4M time. Have a facepic, please. No pic, no chat. I said please, so get off my nuts…or on them ;) ;) ;) Bear411 bear411.com FatBehrDick4u is a hot web programmer bear living in your city. He totally knows the owner of “B411” as “the bears” know the website, but he apparently hasn’t brought himself to tell said owner that the layout is the worst. Log on and say “woof.”

LYDIA WOJACK-WEST

PSU VANGUARD • FEBRAURY 14, 2017 • PSUVANGUARD.COM

LOVE & SEX GUIDE

LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX SUBPAR ADVICE FROM THE SUB-BASEMENT JOHN PINNEY ILLUSTRATIONS BY SHANNON KIDD

Threesome and Roommates writes: So I used to have this friend who was a guy, and we used to screw around in a threesome arrangement. It was all flirty and fun and then it got serious and weird and kind of ended badly. I thought it was amicable and it seemed to be but now I’m getting really trashed on Instagram and I’m not supposed to know about it. This wouldn’t bother me as I have cultivated the image of a cold, hard bitch, but one of the threesome is now getting really friendly with my current roommate. It’s a real bear of a situation. Hit me with your best shot, advice guru. Heya 3Sum and Friends, Whoever said threesomes were easy was definitely not sober when they said it. Sex makes a two-person relationship more complicated, so imagine adding a third into the mix? Yikes.

Nervous to the Cervix writes: I’m glad that you recognize how complicated these feelings are, and instead of just blurting things out to your roommate I let my current boyfriend have my V-card on our three month anI was very lucky to find a new guy very close to Valentine’s Day, or crafting a sharply-worded email that will be rife with the niversary. He was very tender and sweet but wasn’t super big. I and I thought for a kick I’d make an old-fashioned couch BJ part possibility of misinterpretation, you’re actually looking for did some research afterwards about good positions for lesser enof the whole deal. But he didn’t find it very sexy. The whole time a thoughtful opinion from someone who isn’t a 45-year-old dowed guys, but nothing I’ve covertly tried since has gotten me he slung his arm over his eyes like in a really bad porn and, well, monogamous woman with three kids at home. (I’m not saying *there* like his tongue has. I’m disappointed that the sex doesn’t he didn’t seem to enjoy himself. Now I’m worried we’re not sexu- all advice columnists are like that, but there’s like only three match the rest of the relationship. Tell me it’s not hopeless, please. ally compatible. Is this relationship over? dudes that I know of that even give advice and I’m one of them and I’m not great at this…) Heya Nervous, Heya Closed Eyes, All that being said, there’s obviously something at the end of I wouldn’t say it’s hopeless. What your boyfriend lacks in girth Aww, how sweet! An old fashioned couch beej! I tend to like this previous entanglement that was left unsettled. And the and length, he makes up for with tongue and obvious caring. If an old-fashioned myself (the drinks that is) when the mood problem is that between you getting badmouthed and every- the whole point of sex to you was just to get off, you’d be happy strikes and, well, we do have nostalgia for all the things of yore, thing close to home with the roommate, there’s a lot of poten- with just a tongue and a guy that enjoys giving it. But that’s not don’t we? tial here for collateral damage that includes things blowing up all sex is to you, I can read that very clearly. in your face (and not in the fun way). I’m glad you were brave enough to take the chance to do someI think your real question underneath it all is if you should tell thing a little fun for Valentine’s Day that wasn’t as pedestrian I think perhaps the greatest piece of advice I have (if everyone your boyfriend how you feel. I can understand your concern as it could have been. Too bad the risk didn’t pay off. Whether involved can handle this, that is) is to let yourself be vulnerable too, because we’ve all been brainwashed to accept that a guy or not your guy actually enjoyed the event, you’re perceiving it to your roommate. Actually sit down and have a conversation, has to have very adequate equipment or the relationship can like he didn’t. And perception really makes the world go round. as honest as you can, about what happened and about your go nowhere, and it’ll end up like that one Sex and the City where fears and concerns. I’m glad you have the bitch mask, but life Samantha got accused of having a too big vagina. And nobody I don’t know if it would help or hurt your relationship to bring is generally not one long Real Housewives episode if you do it wants that for you, least of all me. it up. It would be very hard to broach the subject now, even if right. If you can be brave and open up to your roommate, you the event happened just last night. And that’s because sex is a might have the power to end this kerfuffle. Because if you come It’s not going to be easy to broach the subject if you decide to, personal thing. I don’t say that to shame, I do just believe it’s with humility and the other party starts acting crazy at your because guys do get the message of the importance of size bea personal act. Even exhibitionism has an element of personal roommate, you’ve won, and you and your roommate will be safe ing related to prowess, but if you’ve lucked out with a guy who mixed into the erotic because it’s the skin you’re born in. So I do from the reason the threesome went wrong in the first place. enjoys eating you out, you’ve lucked out well and he might be not say personal in a way of shaming. using it as a way to deal with his shortcomings. Sex? Sex isn’t just about the sex you’re having. It’s about the sex Since I don’t know for sure how long you and your guy have you’re not having too. In an ideal world, you’d just buy one of those extender toys that been together (not long, from how tenuous about it you seem), would solve his need to be inside something and your need to I want to use this moment as an opportunity to assess the rela- Hearts and Stars, have something bigger for you. That is your ideal-world option tionship. Not in a pros and cons Leslie Knope sort of way, but Your Advice Guru because that experience is something you can share, includmore in a reflective Californian yoga sort of way. ing the trip to the adult store or adult catalogue perusal. And a big part of this is sharing because you’re a couple unless one or Take a breather, just a day. Get out of the city and your own both of you bails. head. Disconnect from your phone and the Facebook. Have a coffee; watch a sunset. And think about what the relationship Anyway, this is a pivotal moment in your relationship. It’s new, means to you, does for you. From there, you can decide how but the honeymoon period is really over now. You’re going to you really want to approach this beej and give it some context have to start making some grown-up decisions or you’re going without well-intentioned naysayers (even just the comment to have to bail. Because it won’t get easier. The talks will keep section in your own brain) torpedoing what could be a great having to happen, and the love will grow or it will wither. partnered future for you. And all that is really set by the precedent you put down after A little bit of silence can sometimes be your friend. you’ve read this sentence. His Closed Eyes writes:

Hearts and Stars, Your Advice Guru

VANGUARD • FEBRUARY 14, 2017 • PSUVANGUARD.COM

Hearts and Stars, Your Advice Guru ≠

LOVE & SEX GUIDE

HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?

Defining sex addiction and exploring resoures

ANNA WILLIAMS WITH THE PREVALENCE OF FREE and instant online pornography, overtly sexualized product advertisements and the ease of hookups (and yes, real, healthy relationships) from Tinder, Grindr and good ol’ Craigslist, it’s not surprising that something so pleasurable and stress-relieving as sex could become addictive. If you care to look up sex addiction in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, you’ll see sex addiction is nowhere to be found. Aside from the fact that unsatisfactory research has been done on the subject, this may be because sex, intimacy and partnership can be defined in so many ways that a variety of experiences and treatment plans can describe the condition. What is sex addiction? Portland State University freshman Dara Mar said she’s heard of sex addiction, “But I never understood the difference between sex addiction and a healthy amount of sex.” PSU senior Rachel Griffith said she has been introduced to the topic of sex addiction in some of her classes. “I have wondered why it’s classified as an addiction, given that sex is natural, normal, and it’s supposed to feel good,” Griffith said. “But I do recognize that people with this issue can lose control over their urges.” What is a healthy amount of sex, and at what point does sexual behavior become a sex addiction? Julie Berman, a Portlandbased licensed professional counselor, said clients come to her when the frequency of times they engage in sexual behavior or the kinds of sexual encounters they engage in causes a significant amount of stress in their day-to-day lives. “When someone comes into my office and they say that their sex addiction is causing problems—whether it’s in a relationship or workplace, or significant enough with the stress, depression, and anxiety—we start to talk about sex addiction,” Berman said. Berman said sometimes her clients have gotten in trouble with the law, sometimes there has been an episode in a relationship that leads to distrust, and sometimes her clients are so addicted to pornography that they find it challenging to have a “real-life relationship.” Steven DeLugach, a Beaverton-based certified sexual addiction therapist, explains that although there are ten criteria for sex addiction he draws from in his practice, he focuses on helping his clients with their particular issues, regardless of what they want to call it. “My job is to help my clients to define their problem behaviors in a way that helps them solve their problems,” DeLugach said.

SILVIA CARDULLO/PSU VANGUARD “I’m going to call it whatever my clients want to call it.” DeLugach added that sexual behavior can affect everyone’s life in different ways. “Sexual behavior becomes a problem when it interferes with your ability to show up emotionally and with the way you want to be present.” How is sex addiction treated? Like alcohol, gambling and eating disorders, sex addiction has its own network of 12-step programs throughout the nation. Sexaholics Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous, and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous all have meetings in the Portland metro area. SAA offers meetings seven days a week in church meeting rooms and recovery centers all over Portland. All three organizations are self-funded and follow the organizational structure of Alcoholics Anonymous, with members sharing their experiences and struggles in a group setting and reading from organization literature. Each organization also addresses addiction and recovery a bit differently, as can be seen on their website “about” tabs. SAA’s website states, “SAA is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience,

strength, and hope with each other, that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from their sexual addiction. The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop addictive sexual behavior.” Aside from counseling, a 12-step support group is a unique benefit to have. “The beauty of calling sex addiction an addiction is all the 12-step programs that are out there,” DeLugach said. “Intact, readily available, 24 hours a day, for free, where your support comes from people struggling on a daily basis.” When asked how she might advise a friend experiencing self-destructive sexual behaviors, Griffith answered, “I would suggest researching a sex therapist or couples counselor and interview them over the phone to see if they would be a good fit.” While 12-step programs may be exactly what some suffering individuals or partners need, Berman said a goal like SA’s “desire to stop lusting and become sexually sober” might be unrealistic for couples that need to find a new, healthy intimacy in their relationship. “An old model used to be just not to address that or talk about that and just abstain and not have a sexual life,” Berman said.

“But that’s not really addressing the whole problem or treating the individual as a whole human being—it’s unrealistic.” Is sexual and intimacy health important only for those with addictions? The silver lining to sex addiction may be that any of us, self-described addict or not, can work on our emotional and sexual health. Berman says that when couples come to her for counseling, she helps them with their emotional health before working on a healthy sex plan. For those who might feel dismayed at the thought of having a sex addiction, DeLugach said not all hope is lost. “Everybody has issues about sex or money,” DeLugach said. “Everybody can be more loving or kind or inclusive with themselves or their partners. We all fall on a continuum. Sex addiction is not necessarily an ongoing plan of behavior.” For more information on sex addiction or to seek help for themselves or someone close to them, students can request a counseling session at the Center for Student Health and Counseling or visit saportlandmetro. org, portlandsaa.org or slaa-portland.org.

PSU VANGUARD • FEBRAURY 14, 2017 • PSUVANGUARD.COM

LOVE & SEX GUIDE

FETLIFE AND A GIRL WITH A ‘HIGH IQ AND LOW MORALS’

VANGUARD • FEBRUARY 14, 2017 • PSUVANGUARD.COM

LAUREN CHAPLUK

80 70 60 50 40 30

Pregnant Women, Cage Conﬁnement

Cockworship

Cross Dressing, Masks

ing,” which I would define as “sex compatibility first, personality and companionship after.” FetLife provides many people with an outlet for political, artistic, and humanitarian efforts as well, as it is more of a community of consenting, sex-positive adults who want to network in a contemporary fashion. I encourage anyone who wants to explore their sexual interests or social networking limits to check out FetLife but to also be mindful of one’s intentions and expectations before joining. Like any social website, there will be people who don’t have your best interests in mind or who might try to exploit other users in some way. Discretion and brevity in profile information are important considerations to have for remaining safe, sane, and consensual. Good luck!

COLLEEN LEARY/PSU VANGUARD

Blood Play, Microgenitalia, Asexuality, Nipple Play, Pegging/Sparring

Period Sex, Brazilian Wax, Crying, Suspension, Humiliation Swinging, Sadiam, Cohersion, Watersports, Macro Genitalia, Latex, Smothering

Role Play, Ropework

Consensual Non0Consensual Roleplay, Male Ejaculation, Leather, Breathplay Unprotected Sex, Flogging/Whips, Double Penetration

Sex in Public

Sex Filming, Assworship, Master/Slave

Switching (both dom/sub)

54 52 48 46 RESULTS (PERCENT)

Dominating, Begging

Face/Throat Fucking, Outdoor Sex

Lingerie/Hosiery

Submitting, Masturbating

Pain, Anal Sex

Dirty Talk

Cuddling

Hair pulling/playing

Spanking

Oral Sex

Here are Portland’s top fourteen fetishes!

Ass Play

THE VANGUARD’S PORTLAND FETISH POLL WEIGHS IN:

rope bunny, hedonist, dominant, submissive” or “brat”. Users have the option of stating what they are looking for: lifetime partner, relationship, mentor/teacher, playmate, friendship, master/mistress, sub/ slave, events, or my personal favorite, “A princess by day, slut by night,” which is exactly what it sounds like. The lists appeared endless and required extra research on my part for comprehension. Spoiler alert: shit got real that night. I thought I understood what a fetish was or what it meant to be “kinky”; but as it turned out, I was clueless. There’s a fetish for nearly anything you can imagine: “girls with high IQs and low morals,” dacryphillia, exhibitionism, home sex-tapes, voyeurism, double+ penetration, gangbangs, cuckolding, breastfeeding and pregnancy, “bare handed spanking,” or even orgasm denial— all were mere blips on the spectrum of what constitutes a fetish. Kinksters can also be as “vanilla” as they like, which means that you don’t have to be interested in “bondage, discipline, dominance, and submission” in order to join. There are fetish groups catered toward those who would identify as “sensualists” and such fetishes include cuddling, bonding, massage, or “teasing.” FetLife facilitates community discussions within groups that are broad in topics but have included “The Psychology & BDSM,” or “Promoters, Performers, Presenters, Educators, and Artists.” However, there is also a group called, “Actually, I Am Mainly In the ‘Lifestyle’ to Get My Brains Fucked Out”—just in case you needed clarification pointers. There isn’t an expectation for participating in any way that is outside one’s comfort zone and how private one’s profile is can be easily managed. Harassment is heavily monitored, and FetLife is open about their policy on disclosing activity to law enforcement if misconduct is suspected. Kinksters are not able to find each other based on age, sex, or location due to the website’s firm stance on being “a social network and not a dating site.” The only way to meet others is to join common fetish groups, local events, or using an alluring profile picture. Although I deleted my FetLife profile in order align my priorities with school and work, I appreciated how honest and open the website users can be. It wasn’t a dating site, but there was a notion of “reverse-dat-

Bisexuality, Age Play, Breast Worship

conservatives, men who pretend to read, or the dreaded “Stage Five Clingers”— somebody who becomes immediately, emotionally attached in an inappropriately brief amount of time. In a nutshell, I had been on enough bad dates that I was ready to accept I would rather die alone. It seemed to me that many people presented an idealized version of themselves while avoiding the important question, “What are you looking for?” while responding honestly. God forbid a woman feel empowered and secure about her sexuality; there was no way in hell I was going to let anyone slut-shame me on Tinder. So in the spirit of “fuck it,” let me indulge you in what I found in the world of FetLife. While creating a “Kinkster” profile, you’re expected to identify with a sexual orientation, whether it’s straight, gay or lesbian; asexual, homo/hetero-flexible, etc. Then you get to claim a “role” such as “mistress,

Female Ejaculation, Predicament Bondage, Collar/Leash, Interracial Sex

“I’M TOO KINKY FOR FETLIFE,” was the line I heard while watching Scott Steven Erickson’s song, “A Pervert’s Guide to Avoiding Loneliness,” during Portland Mercury’s annual Hump Film Festival. As a younger, single student I could sympathize with the song title to a certain extent. After all, I was spending my Saturday night with my best friend watching porn in a room with 300 other strangers. “What the fuck is FetLife?” I asked myself, noting the laughter in response to the reference. Assuming “FetLife” would be just another dating website, I waited a couple days before drinking too much one night and making myself an account. As an admitted workaholic who doesn’t have the time or emotional sensitivity for traditional dating, I wasn’t having much luck with apps such as Tinder or Bumble. Trauma was endured from meeting mouth breathers, lecturers, the secret

Sex with Strangers, Pubic Hair, Triple Penetration, Gangbangs, Watching Sex, Masochism, Polyamory Feet Tickling, Obedience, Training, Taboo Scenario Roleplay, Pussy Worhsipping

ALANNA MADDEN

LOVE & SEX GUIDE

SEX TOYS FOR BOYS, MEN, AND THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE THEM ANDREW D. JANKOWSKI SEX TOYS ARE FOR ALL genders. Indeed, read this article as a guide for enjoying toys that cater to your anatomy. If I had a clitoris and other assorted vaginal parts, I’d head over to SheBop to get my investigative research fix on what works best for me; or if I was on the internet and looking to support a celebrity of color, I’d look up Bedroom Kandi by Kandi Burruss, a.k.a. the woman who wrote TLC’s “No Scrubs,” a.k.a. the woman who gave you your middle and high school life, a.k.a. the woman you can pay back for downloading TLC on Limewire by buying her sex toys. (I’ve been watching a lot of Real Housewives of Atlanta lately, cut me some slack.) Over the course of my research, I discovered Bedroom Kandi is also made for men and has items that are not explicitly sex toys, but are still great for setting the mood by yourself or with a partner. I realized that, compared to some of Portland’s local retailers (Spartacus, Fantasy for Adults Only, Taboo and Fat Cobra, to name names), Bedroom Kandi for Men is basic, and men looking for something more complex than a c-ring or butt plug made from one material might be left lacking. Fear not, ye boys, men, and people in-between said designations. The Portland State Vanguard is here to give you a starting point on sex toys for your body, using advice curated from local retail experts. You might be asking: What is the difference between a butt plug, a prostate massager, and other anal toys? Butt plugs and toys like anal beads provide stimulation to your anus, whereas prostate massagers or stimulators have a long, slender and curved design meant to specifically target the prostate, a.k.a. the male G-spot. In any case, these toys can provide men with powerful orgasms, provide greater awareness and heightened sensitivity across the body, and prepare men for anal play with a partner, or for a prostate exam with a doctor. Prostate health is important, dudes. Not into it? Get into it. What do different materials mean for my body? Toys made of silicone are great for learning how to control your anus and are more forgiving on your body if you hit a weird angle inside yourself or if you want to be especially rough on a given day. Silicone toys will eventually break down, but harder, high-grade materials like metal, glass and even crystal are more durable, great for experienced players, can be heated or chilled for added effect, and are easier to clean and keep sterile. Non-fragrant soap and hot water is key. What toys should I and should I not use on my penis? C-rings (or cock rings) are the most popular male toy sold at Spartacus. They come in different materials and colors,

ANDREW JANKOWSKI/PSU VANGUARD range in elasticity, and can be worn in ways ranging from around the penis’ shaft and/or testicles to something more in line with BDSM. C-rings keep blood in the penis-area: heightening sensitivity, prolonging size/duration of erection, and intensifying orgasm. Masturbating devices are a great way to take a hand job to the next level. Sleeves of varying size and material are filled with textured silicone and other materials meant to stimulate the shaft and are often the smaller, more discrete version of the type of sex toy commonly known by the brand Fleshlight. Fleshlights, by comparison, simulate any human orifice and can often be cross-branded by a specific adult entertainer to fulfill the fantasy of playing with a specific performer. For partner play, penis extenders can be worn that provide heightened stimulation for both partners. Spartacus sells penis pumps on discount but does not recommend customers buy them. Penis pumps purportedly work to increase erection size, but in the process damage blood vessels and the outer layers of dermis on the penis shaft. Articles on biohacking to achieve similar effects were recommended instead. Somewhere on the experienced fetish side of this spectrum lies a practice known as sounding and is generally preferred among men who work extensively in human anatomy, e.g. doctors and other medical professionals. When someone with a penis and prostate is very relaxed, a

knowledgeable person can guide a metal rod (usually 4–17 millimeters in diameter) down through the urethra until they are close to the prostate. Once the rod is in place, it can be gently struck with another metal object, which sends soft vibrations down the urethra’s ultra-sensitive nerve endings and reach the prostate. Literature on the practice heavily emphasizes experience, care and sterility of toys. How does lube factor into my play time? Proper lubrication is like reading: fundamental. Water-based lube, for instance, will not break down your silicone-based toys like silicone-based lube will, and it will not destroy your latex-based condoms like oil-based lube. Water-based lube, however, has a tendency to become “tacky,” or sticky, after use, which is how people come to use oil or silicone-based lube. Oil-based lube is great for sexual activity without condoms, but as we all know, not using condoms exposes penises and toys to germs and additional wear and tear that can leave them vulnerable to bacteria and viruses. Use your best judgment and/or ask an expert for advice when you’re out shopping if you’re not sure. Portland State’s Center for Student Health and Counseling offers free water-based lube and condoms for all PSU students, if you need a place to get your first supplies.

PSU VANGUARD • FEBRAURY 14, 2017 • PSUVANGUARD.COM

LOVE & SEX GUIDE

GET PREPPED FOR PREP

Safer Sex with Truvada CHRISTIAN POINDEXTER CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL AND Prevention defines pre-exposure prophylaxis (or PrEP) as follows: “[When] people at very high risk for HIV take HIV medicines daily to lower their chances of getting infected.” “Prophylaxis” refers to any treatment meant to prevent an infection from happening. AIDS.gov states that PrEP is for people who are at ongoing risk of HIV infection. Ongoing risk means people who have partners who are at a high risk of being HIV positive or are HIV positive. Those who are at ongoing risk are people “who have injected drugs in the past 6 months and have shared needles or works or been in drug treatment in the past 6 months,” those having unprotected sex with at-risk partners, or those who have many partners or partners with many partners. Post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP), not PrEP, is made for singular-risk events that include “sex without a condom, needle-sharing injection drug use, or sexual assault.” The

site also states that the drug works better when combined with other forms of prevention such as getting tested for HIV and using protection. The medicine comes in pill form and is recommended to be taken daily. And the San Francisco AIDS foundation says that not taking the daily recommended dose can highly increase the risk of the medicine not working. The brand name of the only FDA approved PreP medication available on the U.S. market right now is TRUVADA. The TRUVADA website says that the medicine is a combination of two different drugs, Emtriva (also called emtricitabine or FTC) and Viread (also called tenofovir disoproxil fumarate or TDF). These two medicines work together to prevent HIV from taking hold in the body. There are also a number of other PrEP medicines still in development. The TRUVADA website states, “[Common] side effects [are] stomach-area (abdomen) pain, headache, and decreased weight.”

TERRA DEHART While these are the generally stated shortterm side effects, there are also reports that the medicines contained in TRUVADA have led to long-term negative side effects such as “compromising kidneys or depleting bone mineral.” However, The Center for AIDS Information and Advocacy has issued researchbased statements explaining statistics in the category cannot fully claim whether or not it actually is the drugs found in TRUVADA that cause these long-term symptoms.

This is because people who are at a higher risk of HIV and are therefore taking PrEP are also usually people who because of their particular socio-economic status, racial background, or sexual or preference for instance, are at risk for a higher percentage of other conditions that can cause the same long-term effects, such as sexually transmitted diseases. This research then concludes that TRUVADA drugs are not responsible, perhaps completely or maybe at all, for those negative long-term side effects.

DOES A BEAR FUCK IN THE WOODS? O ALEX-JON EARL

EAGLE PDX (21+)

URSINE TYPE LOOKING FOR FELLOW bears and cubs? Friend of the hairy on a bear hunt? Do you want beard burn? Or maybe you’re someone who just wants to revel in the joy of dancing with the big hairy folks? Here’s your guide to help you in your pursuit of the hirsute!

In most big cities a bar named the “Eagle” usually implies leather, sweat and hair. Portland’s version is no different and offers ample opportunity to get lost in a tangle of hair. This isn’t the Eagle of the kinky bar scene’s heyday, but it offers a good swing at some ass. 2 p.m.–2:30 a.m. Daily; 835 N Lombard St. eagleportland.com Bear likelihood: ✶✶✶✶

ROOSTER ROCK (18+)

STAG (21+)

You gotta ask to find out, but the bears love this place for some reason. Hours vary by season; Corbett, Oregon Bear likelihood: ✶✶

STEAM (18+)

A sex club for male-identified folks in the 18+ crowd. The clientele ranges from twink to next door neighbor, but bears do frequent. Bonus? If you’re 18–25 you get a discount! Open 24 hours; 2885 Sandy Blvd. steamportland.com Bear likelihood:✶✶✶

HAWKS PDX (18+)

A newish sex club on the Central Eastside and conveniently located by the streetcar. Trans-friendly, bear-friendly (keep an eye out for their Beartown events!). Bear nights every second Saturday, gender fluid nights every Tuesday and all-gender bisexual nights on Sundays. Student discount available. Open 24 hours; 234 SE Grand Ave. hawkspdx.club Bear likelihood:✶✶✶✶✶

“They have a beardy dude stripping!” my friend texted me one night from Stag, and it’s true—doubly true with the upcoming Bronco parties, surely. Cheap drinks and great ambiance with a Portland flair. In a typical PDX twist you’re pretty likely to make a pickup at one of their weekly brunches hosted by the fab Alexis Campbell Starr. 7 p.m.–2 a.m. Open most nights; 317 NW Broadway . stagpdx.com Bear likelihood: ✶✶✶

SILVERADO (21+)

“Oh god, oh god, I made a mistake,” I cried into my drink. I was 23 and was stuck at Silverado after getting mesmerized by the strippers and getting left behind by my friends. This was before I had a cell phone, so finding them wasn’t happening. Luckily, a cute daddybear struck up a conversation and the rest is history (in that I don’t know who he was). I hope the same for you if you swing by one of their bear beer busts. 9 a.m.–2:30 a.m. Daily; 318 SW 3rd Ave. silveradopdx.com Bear likelihood: ✶✶

VANGUARD • FEBRUARY 14, 2017 • PSUVANGUARD.COM

BEARRACUDA (21+)

Dancing bears! Otters! Cubs! And friends! Bearracuda is where you’re pretty likely to find the kind of all night sure thing you’re looking for, if that’s what you’re looking for. Bonus clothing optional space upstairs. This party rolls around a few times a year, so check their website at bearracuda.com/portland/ 9 p.m.–2 a.m. Dates vary; Bossanova Ballroom 722 E. Burnside Bear likelihood: ✶✶✶✶✶

LUMBERTWINK (21+)

The height of Portland is here at this plaidand-beards party. Photobooths, a discount for wearing plaid just makes it that much better. Also, this is a great place to wear a union suit. Google what that is if you don’t know. For dates see facebook.com/ groups/435018999943262/ 9 p.m.–2 a.m. Dates vary; Funhouse Lounge 2432 SE. 11th Ave. Bear likelihood: ✶✶✶✶

OREGON BEARS (21+)

Portland’s primary bear organization and sponsor and organizer of numerous events around town. Open and welcoming to bears and bear adjacent folks! Membership is 21+ but some events are open to 18+. Check their website at oregonbears.org/

Bear likelihood: ✶✶✶✶✶✶

SILVIA CARDULLO/PSU VANGUARD

LOVE & SEX GUIDE

WTF IS A BEAR? ALEX-JON EARL

Bears are a thing in the queer community. They’re hairy dudes. Usually beards, often bellies, sometimes they smoke cigars and drink beer. Sometimes they like leather. It varies. First up, a powerlifting leather-loving bearish guy.

The Vanguard’s intrepid cub reporter whipped it out (his phone, that is) and chatted with some bears to get a variety of opinions on the matter. Next, we asked a non-bear bear-cuddler.

And ﬁnally a trip to the edge of the bear orbit for some plain talk.

CHLOE KENDALL

PSU VANGUARD • FEBRAURY 14, 2017 • PSUVANGUARD.COM

LOVE & SEX GUIDE

THE INS AND OUTS OF HYSTERECTOMIES AND VASECTOMIES JENNEE MARTINEZ

HERE’S THE DILEMMA: YOU’VE EITHER parented your way through the sleepless nights, the crayon drawings on the wall, and the years of teenage angst—which were just as restless and confusing for you as they were for your child—and have reached the point in your life where wiping snotty noses and setting curfews pose less rewards than they have in the past, or you’re absolutely positive that you will never desire experiencing any of those things in the first place. Having kids is out of the question for you. While regular birth control methods are effective when used properly and are a popular and common way to prevent unintended pregnancies, having permanent protection can be more useful to ensure the years of parenting are truly in the past. Though the term “sterilization” seems frightful and intimidating, it’s the most common type of birth control used among couples in the United States. For women, one option of sterilization involves a surgical operation where all or part of the uterus is removed. This is more commonly known as a hysterectomy. For men, this form of birth control is a vasectomy, which involves a surgery where the tubes that carry sperm from the testicles to the penis are either blocked or cut. Though they both may sound equally frightening,

considering parts of the human anatomy are either removed, snipped, cut or blocked, women have generally taken on the responsibility of ensuring they and their husbands are not surprised by a bun in the oven (through less invasive methods). Both options are extremely effective despite the fact that each poses different concerns and questions. Though vasectomies are generally safer, ending in less complications and resulting in fewer possible infections, hysterectomy success rates are slightly higher in preventing pregnancy after one year has passed. Vasectomy surgeries are faster and easier as well, considering the surgery can be performed with only the use of anesthesia. Recovery time is minimal for a vasectomy, and additional time in hospital is rarely necessary. Despite the pros and cons of health risks, surgical costs, and recovery time, access to these procedures varies greatly and may determine who undergoes the process of sterilization. Vasectomies are not covered by Medicare, disqualifying any patients who fall under that specific coverage. Though not all Medicaid insurers cover vasectomies, some do. Private insurance coverage varies as well. An uninsured vasectomy procedure can cost up to

$1,000, with the lowestcost procedure starting at $300. As far as hysterectomies go, if you’re covered under the Affordable Care Act, your preferred birth control is covered without any expenses paid directly out of your own pocket. (You can thank Trump and his minions if that changes in the future.) Without insurance, a hysterectomy can become a financial nightmare for a couple. Because there are different types of hysterectomies available, all entailing different specific procedures, the costs may vary. Costs can range anywhere from $2,000–$11,000. The difference in price for male sterilization vs. female sterilization is obvious: Women are going to pay twice as much as men to ensure they never have kids again. Though services are both available to women and men, the option right for you

VANGUARD • FEBRUARY 14, 2017 • PSUVANGUARD.COM

depends greatly on your insurance coverage and financial wealth. Because of that, being able to access these services is not truly available to everyone. Perhaps because a woman’s anatomy is more complex, a hysterectomy renders a more complicated and threatening surgery to ensure no children are created within the act of sexual pleasure. Maybe it’s because of the fact that blatant sexism—which definitely affects women’s health costs and coverage—still exists in our society today. The blame could easily be placed on capitalism. Despite the causes, being sterilized as a woman is going to have a greater effect in terms of personal health and finances. Though the sticky hands of a toddler and back-talking as a teenager may hold more

SHANNON KIDD

value than presented at first glance, there may come a time where peace and quiet is more valuable than any other reward parenting has to offer. As a result, permanent birth control may come into question. Before you go ripping out your uterus or snipping

away at your sperm-carrying tubes, explore your options, examine your insurance coverage, and count all the pennies in your pocket. And hey, men. Take one for the team here. Take one for your lady and for your bank account, huh?

LOVE & SEX GUIDE

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PSU VANGUARD • FEBRAURY 14, 2017 • PSUVANGUARD.COM

LOVE & SEX GUIDE

SEXY V-DAY THINGS TO DO John Pinney

TUESDAY, FEB. 14 A DATE WITH JOHN WATERS 8 P.M. ALADDIN THEATER 3017 SE MILWAUKIE AVENUE FEE: $38–115

Look, you don’t want your Valentine’s Day surprise to be boring, do you? You want something unconventional, a little shocking, heaps of naughty? I wouldn’t steer you wrong by saying that “Pope of Trash” John Waters is the way you want to go. His friendly and kitsch aesthetic has conquered the nation since Hairspray brought us the wonderful Divine and Ricki Lake. Enjoy a night of utterly divine filth the likes of which will leave your tongue wagging and your lips moving for years to come. You’re welcome.

CELEBRATION DAY! 10 A.M.–4 P.M. PORTLAND CHILDREN’S MUSEUM FEE: FREE (MEMBERS), $11 (NON-MEMBERS)

Get crafty for your someone special (or let your kids get crafty for you) with a fancy card, some Valentine’s slime, or even a glazed ceramic gift. Family quality time is very sexy: just ask mom.

CIDER TASTING 5–8 P.M. PORTLAND CIDER HOUSE 3638 SE HAWTHORNE BOULEVARD 21+

If adult beverages are more your speed, the Cider House will have a special tasting menu for the evening. They’ll also provide craft material (and glitter!) so you can make your own card for your sweetie. Which is better: a sober or slightly less sober Valentine card? You decide.

MYSTERY BOX SHOW VALENTINE’S SPECIAL 7 P.M. ALBERTA ROSE THEATRE 3000 NE ALBERTA STREET FEE: $20–55 21+

If you like your Valentine’s Day a little more queer (or just less G-rated), this event is for you. Storytellers with humor, warmth, and a touch of sex explore Valentine’s Day from all kinds of different walks of life. Don’t you want to hear about a Valentine’s Day from a comedian and adult performer? That’s love right there.

WANT TO ELOPE? 3 P.M. HIP CHICKS DO WINE 4510 SE 23RD AVENUE FEE: $20–225

SHANNON KIDD

Okay, so if you’re at that phase of your relationship where marriage is on the table but dealing with the wackiness of event planning is not, consider going the extra mile this Valentine’s Day with a dinner and elopement package. Starting with dinner at 25 bucks and adding on from there, you have the power to customize one of the best stories you’ll ever tell your grandkids. They also have a charcuterie board, too, if your idea of true love is just smoked meats on wood.

MY DREAMY VALENTINE DOUBLE FEATURE 7 P.M. REVOLUTION HALL 1300 SE STARK STREET

Join the kind folks at Revolution Hall for a cinematic double feature of When Harry Met Sally (yes, *that* Meg Ryan movie) followed by Wristcutters: A Love Story. Nosh is provided by Martha’s throughout the screenings.

TONY STARLIGHT VALENTINE’S DAY SPECIAL 7:30 P.M. THE TONY STARLIGHT SHOWROOM 1125 SE MADISON STREET FEE: $30–74 21+

Okay, so unlike my barber, you should be aware up front that even though Tony Starlight sounds like Neil Diamond, he is not Neil Diamond. And normally all he’d do is an evening of Neil Diamond hits. But on this special Valentine’s night, he’s feeling more generous and in the mood. So imagine Neil Diamond singing Barry White.

HEARTS ON FIRE COUNTRY DUET SHOWCASE 8 P.M. STAR THEATER 13 NW 6TH AVENUE 21+ FEE: $10–25

This full night of local country duet acts will romance you with a lot of heart, a little bit of twang, and more acoustic guitars than Willie Nelson probably has in a back room somewhere. It’s a pretty full bill that includes the likes of Caleb Klauder and Lewi Longmore Band.

ANTI-VALENTINE’S DAY DANCE PARTY 9 P.M. EASTBURN 1800 E BURNSIDE STREET 21+

DJ Stupid Cupid invites you to come and dance your cares away while young lovers waste their lives and grooving muscles on each other. Promising an Absolutely Fabulous theme, DJ Stupid Cupid has your back tonight. Door charge is not mentioned, but do bring cash for Valentine’sthemed drinks.

BACKDOOR KARAOKE 9 P.M. HIGH WATER MARK 6800 NE MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. BOULEVARD 21+

What says love more than off-key versions of “I Will Always Love You” or “Forever and For Always”? NE Dekum prides itself on this dive bar event hosted by KJ Like. What’s even better, this event is totally free.

GIRLTOPIA 9 P.M. CC SLAUGHTERS 219 NW DAVIS STREET 21+

If you think Valentine’s Day is a bit of a sausage fest, enjoy DJ Alicious spinning all your favorite girl-friendly and queer dance hints. Get on that crowded dance floor and shake your groove thing baby.

5TH AVENUE CINEMA 510 SW HALL STREET FEE: FREE FOR PSU STUDENTS W/ID, OTHER STUDENTS $4, GENERAL ADMISSION $5 THIS WEEKEND’S SHOWTIMES: LA MALA EDUCACIÓN (BAD EDUCATION) FEB. 17, 7 P.M. & 9:30 P.M. FEB. 18, 7 P.M. & 9:30 P.M. FEB. 19, 3 P.M.

Pedro Almodóvar, Fele Martínez, Gael García Bernal: What’s not to love? In Sexy Spanish (with slightly less sexy English subtitles). Popcorn, as always, is free for all.

VANGUARD • FEBRUARY 14, 2017 • PSUVANGUARD.COM