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TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 5, 2017
SEX ISSUE 2017
COLUMN
Asexual does not mean aromantic Sex isn’t the only way for couples to show affection. KALEB STEWART For the Daily Titan Before I met the love of my life, I never thought I would be ok living without sex. I had read about asexuality in my teens, but I had never met anyone who could be Iabeled as such. Everyone around me was obsessed with getting laid, myself included. When I started dating my girlfriend Heather, we ended up discovering her asexuality together. “I just didn’t like sex, or want to have sex or had any interest in sex,” Heather said. “I didn’t realize there was a term for it.” At first, as Heather continuously put off the date for our first time, I was worried that it had something to do with me. Maybe I didn’t fit her criteria in what she wanted in a sexual partner. Maybe it was because I had grown rounder around the midsection. I was all kinds of insecure, because
everything that I had been taught about sexual intimacy had not prepared me for having a partner who might not ever want it. It didn’t help matters when, after my mother raised concerns about us being safe when it came to sex, I had to tell her that she really didn’t need to worry about it. She thought I was pulling her leg, or to paraphrase her words at the time: “You can’t expect me to believe that you two a r e n’t do-
ing it?” After reassuring her that we weren’t, she went on to explain in her own words how “something was wrong.” This probably stung more than intended, and made me
hesitant to tell a lot of people about my circumstances. I love my mother. In most respects, she’s far wiser than I. However, people raising eyebrows at the idea of a couple our age not having sex is by no means limited to this one conversation. “ T h e r e have been times when
people are like ‘Wait, you don’t have sex? That’s weird.’ And have pretty much told me that I’m weird because I don’t want to have sex,” Heather said. “And that gets awkward.” Time and again, I find it disappointing when people assume that sex is necessary to have a fulfilling and passionate romantic relationship. Perhaps more disappointing is when people respond to me as though I’m some hopeless romantic because I am somehow able to “deal” with the fact that my girlfriend doesn’t want to get intimate. At least, not sexually intimate. “(I) have no interest in the
sexual part where there is actual penetration and stuff like that,” Heather said. “The stuff that is important to me is like the cuddles and the kisses and just being in the same room.” We have worked out our own system, as all couples have to at some point, and it works for us. She understands my sexual needs. I understand her lack thereof. After six years of love and support, I can say without a doubt that I am the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life. I can’t imagine my world without her. Which, I suppose, makes it weirder to some people that we don’t have anything going on between the sheets other than cuddling or smooching. “I don’t think it’s weird at all,” Heather said. “I just think that different people have different priorities.” Sometimes being sexually liberated can just mean admitting that you have no sexual interests to speak of. There is no reason that you can’t be an exceptional romantic partner just because you don’t want to have sex. Or at least, that is the conclusion we’ve found while canoodling in our own little corner of the sexual spectrum.
COURTESY OF HEATHER KORN
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TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 5, 2017
SEX ISSUE 2017
Game of incest could set bad example Storylines in “Game of Thrones” may normalize inbreeding. HARRISON FAIGEN Daily Titan
COURTESY OF HBO
“Game of Thrones” fans may find themselves rooting for Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke) and Jon Snow’s (Kit Harington) romance, but continued incestual relationships like theirs can send mixed messages about their behavior.
romance between two of its most beloved heroes. HUGE SPOILERS FOLLOW. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED. With Jon Snow doing a whole lot more than bending the knee for Daenerys Targaryen during a sex scene that was part of a montage revealing she was his aunt in the season 7 finale, “Game of Thrones” begged the question: Is having two of it’s most attractive heroes engage in heavily sexualized incest the healthiest way
to portray inbreeding to viewers? “I think it could be (a problem) if they don’t high-
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Hunter Hargraves, an assistant professor of cinema and television arts at CSUF, said that while he
I think they’re minimizing the reality of incest and I think that they are trivializing it and romanticizing the way that it’s portrayed.
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Against all odds, “Game of Thrones” has become a cultural touchstone. Now done with a seventh season that saw the show average over 29 million viewers an episode and heading for an eighth and final run next summer — with spinoffs reportedly on the way — HBO’s fantasy epic had several factors working against it as it reached its current level of success, not the least of which was it being a fantasy epic. Other factors initially working against “Game of Thrones” were its prestige-cable location, making it less accessible to fans than shows on a more widely-carried channel, and its nihilistic source material. Oh, and the fact that two of its main characters are involved in an incestuous relationship. “When I saw that the first time I was shocked, I have to say,” said Nikolaj Coster-Waldau regarding his character Jaime Lannister’s incestuous relationship with his sister Cersei (Lena Headey) in a 2011 interview with Digital Spy. Viewers were probably shocked as well, because incest is a taboo not often covered in mainstream fiction. And while Cersei and Jaime Lannister are the show’s villains (albeit a now somewhat-sympathetic one in the latter’s case), the show has now fully embraced an interfamilial
JANNA KIM CSUF Professor of Child and Adolescent Studies light the problematic nature of it,” said Janna Kim, an assistant professor of child and adolescent studies at Cal State Fullerton.
can’t recall there being “a scripted dramatic series with the prestige of ‘Game of Thrones’ that’s really sort of broached the
topic” of incest so explicitly, he also thinks the show is dancing around it in a few ways. “I think the fact that people think of it as fantasy — and its genre is very clearly fantasy, there are dragons — that allows people to kind of put some distance between their real lives and what’s going on on the screen,” Hargraves said. Kim says that distance exists, but only because viewers’ subconscious thoughts can potentially be changed, rather than their
conscious ones. “If you ask people ‘Do you think incest is okay?’ Well of course they’re going to say ‘No, no it’s bad.’ But slowly, slowly through seeing it as something normal and something that generally is not punished on the show, we might develop a sort of callousness towards the issue, where if we hear about it in real life we’re less likely to think it’s a big deal or respond or get help,” Kim said. SEE GOT
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TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 5, 2017
SEX ISSUE 2017
OPINION
Virgin labels are for olive oil, not women MEGAN MAXEY Daily Titan
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As a young woman, you are given one of two labels: a slut or a prude. These labels usually rely on when you choose to lose your virginity. “It’s kind of frustrating,” said liberal arts major Amanda Gomez. “For girls, we have to be more conservative, we have to hold back and think ‘Oh no, I can’t have sex because I’ll basically be called a slut.’” Gomez said she was called a prude in high school. “I was embarrassed that I wasn’t having sex, which is weird because that’s not something you should be embarrassed about.” In high school and college, women are faced with harsh stigmas with little middle ground. The woman who chooses to lose her virginity in her mid-teens is looked at as dirty or easy. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the woman who waits until her junior year of college to have sex is labeled as uptight or out of the ordinary. “Media perpetuates these ideas,” said Ian Roberson, professor of psychology of human sexual behavior. “I think a lot of it has to do with education and learning that sex is a natural part of the human experience and that it shouldn’t be anything that you should be ashamed
of and we do have to tackle that double standard. We shouldn’t shame someone who has sex early or someone who doesn’t have sex early.” Roberson said this creates a lot of pressure for women in particular. “They are getting information from their media, from their friends who may have had sex and that might pressure them to be like their friends.” These stigmas affect the way women look at themselves, and while it’s easy to say that other people’s views
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I was embarrassed that I wasn’t having sex, which is weird because that’s not something you should be embarrassed about.
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Your first time should only be a personal choice.
AMANDA GOMEZ CSUF Liberal Arts Major of you shouldn’t affect you, they usually do. Gomez said she has seen the stigmas pressure her friends. One in particular, a junior in college, says she “just wants to get it over with.” In an article in the Journal of Sex Research, Jonas Eriksson and Terry P. Humphreys explained that there are three different groups people can be put into when losing their virginity: gift, stigma and process. “Individuals who endorsed the stigma script viewed their status as virgins as something negative
and embarrassing that they needed to shed as soon as possible,” wrote Eriksson and Humphreys. While the other two groups were more positive. Those who associated their virginity with a gift viewed it as precious and usually waited longer to lose it. The ‘process’ group viewed losing their virginity as a practical matter. The individuals who associated their virginity loss with stigma were inevitably ashamed of how they lost it and had shorter relationships. In society, there is an understood timeframe of when it is acceptable for women to lose their virginity. This is usually from late high school to early college years. If one is not within this timeline, they are pressured to do something they may not be ready for. Roberson said the remedy for this trend is education. When young people aren’t educated on the issue, they have less information, it becomes more of a mystery and they are more likely to be pressured into it, he said. “Parents and educators are afraid to talk about these things because they fear that if you talk about it then they’re going to go and do it. But most of the research shows the opposite,” Roberson said. Unfortunately, women who are struggling with these stigmas just need to ignore the noise, Gomez said. “Live your life. You don’t have to please anyone.”
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SEX ISSUE 2017
GOT: Dany should ride dragons, not Jon 4
Kim has studied how portrayals of sexuality in the media can affect teenagers and while she says the way the show’s writers are romanticizing Snow and Targaryen’s relationship is “definitely not the healthiest way to portray that,” she felt the way they’ve softened the Lannister’s interfamilial romance is more problematic, citing how characters went from reacting with visible disgust to the siblings’ sexual relationship in season one to the way characters joke about it or roll their eyes now. “Even though it’s sort
of portrayed as a dysfunctional relationship … It does glamorize it at the same time, because they’re very, very physically attractive characters and they have high status in that show. The scenes where they have consensual intercourse are nice to watch. They can arouse the viewer because they’re titillating and they’re shown as deeply in love,” Kim said. “It’s a very mixed message and it’s very much not what we know the reality of incestuous relationships are like.” Far from the starry-eyed portrayal of Snow and Targaryen’s romance
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and even the sympathetic way the showrunners have portrayed the Lannisters’ love for one another, Kim said that “experts regard incest as a form of sexual violence. It’s a form of sexual as-
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incest and I think that they are trivializing it and romanticizing the way that it’s portrayed,” Kim said. Not only are incestuous relationships normally one-sided and abusive,
It’s a very mixed message and it’s very much not what we know the reality of incestuous relationships are like.
“
CONTINUED FROM
JANNA KIM CSUF Assistant Professor of Child and Adolescent Studies sault” and that in most cases incestuous relationships aren’t consensual like the Lannisters’ is portrayed to be. “I think they’re minimizing the reality of
but Kim said they can lead to things like physical pain, psychological and emotional problems, depression, anxiety, withdrawal, substance use and suicide for the victims.
Kim said these same victims could then see the way incest is shown on the show and feel like it was normal and be less likely to report their abuse, which like all forms of sexual violence is drastically underreported and sometimes even more so because of the potential it has to tear families apart scaring victims into silence. In order to avoid that risk, Kim said there are a few ways the show could improve the way it handles incest. For one, it could go back to the visible disgust and other consequences for their relationship the Lannister’s
FREE
faced in the early seasons of the show. If the showrunners don’t want to change the way “Game of Thrones” is written, Kim said the simplest thing they could do is just to put the phone number or website information for an organization like the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network that helps victims of sexual violence or abuse before or after the show airs in a similar fashion to program’s like Netflix’s controversial “13 Reasons Why.” “They could do that without doing anything else, and that could help some people,” Kim said.
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TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 5, 2017
SEX ISSUE 2017
OPINION
Penetration isn’t just for women Straight men should loosen up to the idea of pegging. AMY WELLS Daily Titan
We’re more than halfway through 2017 and the reign of anal-interest hasn’t let up. The popularity of butts doesn’t seem to be going away, nor should it. Not only does that mean sexual navigators shouldn’t hesitate to explore the anus; straight men specifically shouldn’t hesitate to pleasure their prostate. Amidst a sexual age in which the idea of pure procreation has largely desisted,
the focus on pleasure has accelerated astronomically. So are straight men still afraid of pegging? For the most part, they aren’t shying away from anal sex. A study conducted by the United States Center for Disease Control from 20062008 showed that 44 percent of men between the ages of 15 to 44 have engaged in anal sex with an opposite-sex partner at least once. So if men aren’t afraid of putting their penis in a woman’s anus, what’s stopping them from having the pleasure reciprocated? While anal penetration might sound off-putting to men, anal pleasure shouldn’t be just for women
1 3 in
and gay men. In recent years, pegging, the act of a female penetrating their male partner with a strap-on dildo, has been thrown into the mainstream. Coined in 2001 by sex columnist Dan Savage, pegging’s popularity has been on the rise. In the Comedy Central show “Broad City,” one of the main characters Abbi is handed a strap-on when she suggests to her partner that they switch things up. Hesitant at first, Abbi calls her best friend Ilana for advice. After a brief pep talk, Abbi decides to go for it, much to the delight of her partner. Scenes like this are key for normalizing the act and
lowering judgement. No sex should be taboo. Although women may not receive physical pleasure from the act, their pleasure comes from giving it to their partner. Some women are attracted to it because it’s a role reversal. Men get to experience the sensation of being penetrated while women finally feel the power of being the penetrator. But when it comes down to it, some men simply don’t have the desire and no one should ever be pressured or coerced into sex. To those who are interested, don’t feel judged. Straight men engaging in prostate pleasure is nothing new. As long as it’s consensual
KATIE ALBERTSON / DAILY TITAN
With the popularity of anal stimulation on the rise, straight men shouldn’t shy away from joining the fun.
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TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 5, 2017
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Online dating is a part of queer culture PATRICIA STICKLES Daily Titan For many single college students, the process of finding someone is defined by one persisting question: “Swipe left, or right?” As dating apps quickly become the norm, their nature grows more and more game-like – a quick decision of which way to swipe. Like many areas of the internet and social media, users are able to distance themselves from the identity of their day-to-day life on dating apps and websites. While many shame the lack of interpersonal connection that comes with online dating, it is a safe haven to members of the LGBTQ community. “It’s one thing to be in a physical space, and it’s another to be in a digital realm,” said Social Justice Educator Lead for the CSUF LGBT Queer Resource Center, Christian Morales. “When you’re given that space to really be ... it allows for more connection and community to be built.” For many young queer people, online dating is a way to sidestep the restrictions of still being in the closet. When people who may be questioning their sexual identities lack the support, comfort or confidence needed to explore their sexualities, the online realm allows them to do so “without the judgemental eyes of another person,” Morales said. A huge part of exploring sexuality is the way it
is done. “(Online dating) gives you more autonomy over how you process and how you interact with people, whereas in the physical realm, it’s much more heavily policed,” Morales said. Through the internet, users are given a sense of control over how they are perceived and the speed at which they expose themselves to a new, unknown community. Dating app users have the ability to delete their existence at any time. This lack of permanency grants those experimenting a sense of comfort.
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(Online dating) gives you more autonomy over how you process and how you interact with people.
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The digital realm creates safe spaces for its LGBTQ users.
CHRISTIAN MORALES Social Justice Educator Lead for CSUF LGBTQueer Resource Center Even when a queer individual is out, queer dating carries additional problems not always seen in cisgender, heterosexual dating. One distinguishing factor is the struggle that comes with dating within the queer community, said Amber Cornelius, Identity and Development Programming Lead of the CSUF LGBT Queer Center. “I think dating means a lot more to us,” Cornelius said. “Because there’s so much at stake when you do find someone, it’s something you should cherish.” Cornelius said dating apps can also clear up the
PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY KATIE ALBERTSON
Popular dating apps like Scruff and Grindr have become increasingly common in the LGBTQ community. Whether it’s for finding a casual sex partner, or a romantic relationship, apps like these have made it easier for non-heterosexual men and women to find each other.
confusion over what orientation someone is. “Unless someone is yelling at the top of their lungs or wearing certain things and you can get a better idea ... you don’t know their orientation. So with
dating apps, it’s easier because it’s clear,” Cornelius said. While it is hard having fewer dating options, it is even harder trying to figure out who those options even are. The existence of dating
apps removes the often embarrassing, time-consuming and difficult process of trying to uncover someone’s sexuality. For LGBTQ people, dating apps are tools to bring ease to an already difficult dating
process. Because of the opportunities it has created for the community, dating apps have embedded themselves into the culture of LGBTQ relationships and are set to make finding partners easier for coming generations.
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TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 5, 2017
SEX ISSUE 2017
Titan couples share their ups and downs MARIANA VERA Daily Titan Students are often advised to make friends in their classes to survive the semester. Some may even find more than a study buddy and form a romantic relationship with a colleague, but does this tactic help when it comes to academic performance? Cal State Fullerton alumni Ashley Williams and Nick Hernandez are a testament to how well being a couple that studies together can work. Williams graduated Spring 2017 with a bachelor’s degree in business administration and Hernandez graduated January 2017 with a B.A. in business administration management. The two said they began their almost three-year relationship after meeting each other in Accounting 201A. The pair were randomly assigned to the same group by their professor and shortly after, they discovered their schedules were very similar. They also shared the same economy class. “We just started noticing that every time after econ we were all going to lunch,” Williams said. The couple was initially hesitant to turn their friendship into a relationship. They were confused and unclear of their feelings for one another. It took some time for the two to start seeing each other romantically. “(Having similar majors)
helped because we could always ask each other for help, because she’s really smart,” Hernandez said. “We actually were in the same classes ... but that semester was a struggle, it was actually the first time I didn’t pass a class.” It was difficult at first for the two to adjust their lives around their relationship and keeping school a priority. By the next semester, they were out of the honeymoon phase and being a couple became more normal. “It helped though, because we were taking the same classes for the most part,” Williams said. “And if he took one before me, it was nice.” Hernandez said it’s nice dating a person who is in the same major. He was unable to share a common ground with his previous girlfriend like he does with Williams. After graduation, Williams moved in with Hernandez and his family in Orange instead of returning to her hometown in San Diego. After celebrating graduation together, both now have jobs within their concentrations. Coupling up with a study buddy doesn’t work for everyone, however. Third year accounting major Brandon Remedios met fourth year public administration major Kerissa Gomez prior to attending CSUF. The transfer students met through a mutual friend and have been together for almost two years. Due to their different majors, Remedios and Gomez have never had a class together. “We schedule our classes at the same time and then we have the same breaks,
PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY KATIE ALBERTSON / DAILY TITAN
Being in a relationship with a fellow Titan can either help or hinder one’s academic performance. For CSUF alumni Ashely Williams and Nick Hernandez, their shared interest in business administration was a plus, but not all couples are so lucky.
so we eat breakfast together every morning,” Remedios said. Gomez transferred to CSUF after learning about the school from Remedios, who joined her shortly after. Gomez’s experience has been helpful to Remedios since it is his first semester as a Titan. “She’s been here way longer than me, so she showed me the whole campus,” Remedios said The couple relies on taking classes the same days as each other. Since they both work and live far from
one another (Remedios in La Mirada and Gomez in Costa Mesa), it’s difficult to spend time together if
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sociology major Emily Flynn and boyfriend, fifthyear psychology major Tim Grisham, have learned they
We schedule our classes at the same time and then we have the same breaks, so we eat breakfast together every morning. BRANDON REMEDIOS Accounting Major
they have classes on opposite days. The advantages Remedios and Gomez have been able to gain from coupling up aren’t common for all couples. Fourth-year
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Dating a classmate has both advantages and problems.
are oil and water when it comes to the classroom. “We’ve taken classes together and we just learn so differently that it doesn’t work and we end up getting in fights if we’re in classes
together,” Flynn said. “I’m more of a group person. I want to study with other people… For him, he’s such a solo worker. He just wants to go home and read the book.” Flynn and Grisham are high school sweethearts and have been together for over four years. The Redland natives maintain busy schedules that consist of school and work and though they are both Titans, it’s rare to find them together on campus. SEE COUPLES
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TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 5, 2017
SEX ISSUE 2017
Factors preventing orgasms for women NICOLE ADAMITA Daily Titan Your heart is racing, your body is sweating, and your muscles are tensing up as an intense pressure is released, allowing you to feel an immensely pleasurable and euphoric sensation all throughout your body that leaves you satisfied and relieved. Basically, you feel really, really good. You have just experienced an orgasm. This mind-blowing experience might leave you at a loss for words because it feels like you’ve just felt everything you can possibly feel all at once, and you basically did. “We see an overall activation throughout the brain. All regions of the
brain essentially get activated at orgasm,” said Barry Komisaruk, Ph.D., distinguished professor of psychology at Rutgers University. Aside from orgasms feeling good, they are also good for you. Orgasms improve brain health and increase blood flow, oxygen and nutrients through the brain, Komisaruk said. We can activate parts of the brain in many ways such as reading and doing crossword puzzles, but an orgasm is the only thing that increases activity in every region of the brain, Komisaruk said. As great as orgasms are, certain factors may be preventing women from having one, or at least a good one. Those factors can include having a poor mental state, misunderstanding their body and having a lack of communication with
their partner, Komisaruk said.
Poor mental state A woman’s mental state is a huge factor in whether or not she can experience an orgasm. Being worried, anxious or distracted can really interfere, Komisaruk said. If
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women don’t understand its functions, they may not be able to properly have an orgasm. There are three areas that can be stimulated in order to have an orgasm: the clitoris, the vagina and the cervix, Komisaruk said. “Each of them can be
We see an overall activation throughout the brain. All regions of the brain essentially get activated at orgasm.
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Knowing one’s body and talking with your partner can help.
BARRY KOMISARUK, PH.D. Psychology professor at Rutgers University your mind is wandering about an essay you have to write or that fight you just had with your friend, you may not be able to relax and have a pleasurable sexual experience. Misunderstanding their body The female body is rather complex, and if
effective in stimulating orgasms, and the orgasms feel different from clitoral stimulation, versus from a vaginal stimulation, versus from a cervical stimulation,” Komisaruk said. Although each area can induce an orgasm, Komisaruk said “It is easier to elicit an orgasm from a clitoral stimulation.”
For women to know what they enjoy, they must first figure it out for themselves. Masturbation can be a useful way to understand one’s body. During masturbation, women can not only learn how their body works, but they can also figure out what they enjoy and which areas they want stimulated, Komisaruk said. In order to have the best possible orgasm, Komisaruk said you should stimulate all three areas. Lack of communication with their partner Lastly, lack of communication can really affect one’s sexual experience. Komisaruk says women must communicate what feels good and what they want. Some women might prefer to start with vaginal stimulation, while others might prefer to start with clitoral stimulation
followed by vaginal stimulation. It’s all preference, and there is more than one way to have an orgasm. As soon as women understand their bodies and know which areas they want stimulated first, they can communicate it with their partner and have a satisfying orgasm. Although it may seem awkward at first to express what turns us on, having an open dialogue can enhance sexual experiences greatly. No one is a mind reader and although you may think your partner is enjoying what you are doing, they could be faking it. Everyone is different and enjoys different things, so women need to communicate exactly what they want. Once they eliminate all the factors preventing them from having a sensational orgasm, they are able to fully enjoy their sexual experience.
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TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 5, 2017
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OPINION
Shower sex is overrated and dangerous Getting it on in the shower is an accident waiting to happen. MEGHAN KLIEWER Daily Titan You and your partner are in the shower and things are getting steamy. You lean for a kiss but get sprayed in the face by the water. As the foreplay picks up, you try grabbing whatever ledges are available and accidentally knock down the razor, resulting in a panic as you both avoid getting cut by it. It’s time for the main event and the condom goes on but you find it difficult to slide in because the water washed away all the lube and now it
just hurts. Shower sex sounds great, but at best it’s mildly satisfactory. A few things can make the experience awkward, including height difference. If there is a significant height difference between partners then they might experience some trouble adjusting for sex. This will especially be the case if the shower lacks fancy features like a bench and is too tightly spaced for two people. Shower stall dimensions can be as small as 2 ½ by 2 ½ feet, according to the most recent International Residential Code. A small shower will likely limit sexual partners to standing positions and make
it hard to get it in. One person may try standing on their tiptoes, but only disappointment will ensue. Another thing to consider: makeup. If shower sex is a spontaneous decision, neither you nor your partner planned to wear waterproof makeup. Water will get on both people, even if you try to avoid it, and someone will end up rocking Kesha’s 2009 look, which won’t be too sexy. On a more serious note, sex in the shower can be uncomfortable because, ironically, water can lead to more friction and make sex painful. “The vagina is self-lubricating and if you’re introducing water, that could rinse away some of the natural
lubrication,” said Kerri Boyd Crooks, the interim coordinator of TitanWell. “There are water-based lubes that people may want to use. Like if they feel like when they have shower sex it does get a little drier, then you might want to use a lubricant,” Crooks said. Before considering it, soap is not a substitute for lube. Not only are vaginas self-lubricating, but they are also self-cleaning and getting soap inside may just irritate it. Same goes for the anus. If lubricant gets on the shower floor and makes it slippery, it introduces the risk of falling, Crooks said. Imagine how embarrassing it would be to go to the emergency room for a
sex-related injury. Sex in the shower also might seem like a good alternative for cleaning up the mess semen can leave, but it’s not a great form of birth control. “You still want to use protection if you’re going to be having sex in the shower. The shower does not prevent the spread of STIs, it does not prevent pregnancy,” Crooks said. “If they’re having anal sex, they still want to use a condom.” Some people think shower sex is a good option if someone is on their period because they believe it temporarily stops the blood flow. Crooks said that despite this misconception, it does not make the flow stop
temporarily, and that having sex in the shower only provides the benefit of feeling cleaner. Some may believe steamy shower water will kill sperm and prevent pregnancy. “There are myths surrounding hot tubs and sex, that hot water will kill or immobilize sperm, but that’s just not true,” Crooks said in an email. “Sex in hot water is not an effective method of pregnancy or STI prevention; the same principle applies to sex in the shower or bathtub.” In the end, shower sex is awkward, risky and surrounded by untrue myths. Wash all of them away, and it becomes clear sex on dry land is a far safer and superior option.
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COLUMN
Couples posting is tired and unnecessary EXPECTATIONS Worry about your significant other, not online appearances. YARESLY SANCHEZ-AGUILERA Daily Titan
We all know that couple. You know, the one who posts a million times a week (or day) about one another. Whether it’s on Twitter, Instagram or Snapchat, cheesy statuses like “happy monthaversary!” and “I miss you” tend to find themselves flooding the timelines of social media users. While there is nothing wrong with posting about someone you love, there is a such thing as oversharing, and there’s research to prove this. A 2017 study published by the American Journal of Epidemiology found that higher use of Facebook correlated with a decrease in overall mental health. Plus, staging your happiness on social media probably doesn’t make you happier anyway. When I’m scrolling down my timeline, I want to see people doing cool things that I can’t do. Things like going on a hike, going to a hipster museum or even a post of some fancy vegan meal. I don’t want to see guys kissing, or looking into each other’s eyes. I don’t care that you’ve been dating for three hours, and no, you don’t look as great as Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds. Sure, you may think all these postings are a great idea. You’re happy. You’re in love. Everything’s great and then BOOM. You break up.
So now you have to go back and delete Every. Single. Picture. What a pain! But a week later, after hours of clicking from photo to delete button, you’re back together. Now your timeline is as boring as it was before you had a partner. So what’s the solution? Don’t hit the post button. While some say those couples are the most insecure about themselves, and are actually not as happy as their selfies make them out to be, there are situations where these updates serve a purpose. Men seem to post less about their partners than women. As my boyfriend likes to say, men do this because they don’t want their friends to see them as “soft.” I’ve come to understand this, so I don’t expect a “happy birthday” shoutout to show up on his feed. Let’s be honest, a lot of these posts are staged. When you go on a date with your significant other, is the first thing on your mind how great the date is going to be, or that you actually have quality time to be together? If you’re not thinking of any of those things, then you’re probably worried about which spot will have the perfect lighting or the best caption that shows Instagram how happy you two are. So put the phone down. Enjoy your time with your partner because being an adult only gets harder and sometimes, social media causes more issues than it helps.
REALITY
PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY KATIE ALBERTSON / DAILY TITAN
Instead of focusing on Kodak moments that make it seem like their relationships are picture perfect copules, should put down their phones and appreciate quality time with their significant other.
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OPINION
Society should shave away expectations Grow some sense and rethink women’s grooming standards. LISSETE GONZALEZ Daily Titan Picture this: You have a hot date tonight with the person you’ve been crushing on since the semester started. You’ve been on a few dates with him already and have really hit it off, but tonight is the night when you’re finally going to Netflix and chill. He’s picking you up in half an hour, and you’re rushing to get ready. But you soon come to the horrible realization that you completely forgot to shave down below and now you’re flipping out. Should you rush to shave really quickly or should you walk in with confidence and proudly rock a full bush? What will you do? Although this scene may seem a bit dramatic, it’s not uncommon for women to have these questions run through their minds when it comes to deciding whether or not to shave their pubic hair. This isn’t just limited to what sexual partners will think. It also includes how women feel about their body hair in general and how it is perceived by society. The Georgia College & State University published a study in 2014 consisting of 1,110 male and female college students. Eightytwo percent of the 671 female students reported having shaved all of their pubic hair, as opposed to just 49 percent of men. The young women in the study were also asked why they shaved
their pubic hair, and answers ranged from feeling clean to feeling sexy after shaving. Pubic and body hair on women is sadly often viewed as unclean, disgusting and unfeminine. Because of these factors, expectations of shaving have been forced upon women in subtle ways, mainly through various forms of media. Advertisements, fashion magazines, films and television feature skinny women with beautiful bodies that have smooth, glowing and flawless skin. These unrealistic expectations for women from the media not only target women, but also men. In the study mentioned earlier, 60 percent of young college males preferred a pubic hair-free partner. It’s possible that these men may have been influenced by the portrayal of women in men’s magazines like Playboy Magazine and Penthouse which also show the same sexy, big-busted, thin and smooth-skinned women in their issues. Pornography also sets high expectations by showing women engaging in various forms of sex while looking completely unscathed, flawless and smooth. Seeing images of what an “ideal” woman should look like causes the average woman to try replicating what they see and this causes men to have an unrealistic expectation of what an attractive woman should look like. It is very rare to see women with facial, armpit and leg hair in magazines, television, print or film, and it’s even more rare to see anything even closely related to pubic hair.However, recently
HANNAH MILLER / DAILY TITAN
Society sets many expectations for how women should look through various forms of media. In order to meet these expectations, women spend a lot of their time and money on shaving. But is it really worth it?
some women in the entertainment industry have taken a stand against these expectations and have brought
attention to pubic hair portrayal. For example, Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson from
the Comedy Central show “Broad City” had an episode where one of the main characters, Ilana Wexler, was
looking at her vagina in a fitting room mirror. SEE SHAVING
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Shaving: Pubic hair is only natural 14
In an interview on “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” Glazer and Jacobson said Comedy Central wanted Illana’s vagina to be blurred with pixels matching Illana’s skin tone, but Glazer and Jacobson fought to have the pixels show darker colors so that the audience could be clearly aware that Ilana had pubic hair. With the assistance of their executive producers, they were able to convince their network to allow the dark-brown pixels. These five seconds of screen time could be considered a true victory for the crusade against the expectations of shaving. Pubic hair is a natural part of a woman’s body. In fact, according to Planned Parenthood, pubic hair exists to serve as a cushion during sex and to prevent
friction and chafing. The Scientific American reports that pubic hair also keeps the vagina clean by absorbing moisture in the area and protecting against bacteria and STIs. Since
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...Expectations of shaving have been forced upon women in subtle ways, mainly through various forms of media.
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LISETTE GONZALEZ Daily Titan bacteria thrives in moist conditions, shaving pubic hair makes the vagina very vulnerable to them. Shaving can be dangerous considering that women are putting blades on one of the most sensitive
parts of their bodies and shaving away in little crevices that can easily be damaged and cut. The Georgia College & State University study also reported that 20 percent of women who had previously shaved had stopped mainly because of the physical side effects, including stubble, rash, bumps and ingrown hairs. It’s a dangerous game to play, yet many women are willing to take the risk. Pubic hair is natural and women shouldn’t let unrealistic expectations dictate how they groom something that actually serves a function. Whether you decide to shave or keep your plentiful bush for your date tonight, all that matters is that you choose something that you are most comfortable with for your next Netflix and chill session.
Couples: Campus life can alter relationships CONTINUED FROM
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“It was hard the first semester,” Grisham said. The two have opposite academic preferences. Grisham enjoys night classes, while Flynn schedules her day around work in the mornings and classes throughout afternoons. Flynn has come to accept this truth and
admits she is Grisham’s personal academic advisor since she schedules his classes for him. Finding time for each other did not always come naturally to Flynn and Grisham. Factors like living off-campus and living with a roommate were obstacles the pair had to learn to overcome. “Now we’ve gotten in
like a groove of things. I think it works,” Flynn said. For those thinking about taking a friendship with a study partner to the next level, Williams and Hernandez recommend not being afraid. “Go for it,” Hernandez said.“I only know from our experience that it worked out really well.”
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Pickup lines can be great icebreakers They may be cheesy, but they cut the tension. NICHOLE TORRES Daily Titan “Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only 10 I see,” is a common pickup line we’ve all heard at least once. Some of us have even used them on occasion. But are they actually effective? Are they still popular? What are some of the worst, and some of the best? When two people are attracted to each other, either party might try to break the ice with an awkward question or statement, often a pickup line. Vanessa Van Edwards author of “Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People,” suggests that pickup lines are meant to initiate a conversation. As an icebreaker, pickup lines can serve as a reflection of the the individual’s personality or a point of interest to those on the receiving end. “I think (pickup lines) work in the sense of making it less awkward. It’s breaking the ice. That’s all it is,” said CSUF student Brandon Remedios. He also said he jokingly used the line “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” on his current girlfriend. Humor has always been known as an attractive quality, creating the perfect dynamic when using a clever pickup line. “You can tell if somebody is just naturally funny. I think that’s attractive,” said CSUF student Jonathan Damon. Furthermore, pickup lines can also have a positive effect when courting an individual, especially if they are witty. “I actually like the cheesy ones,” said CSUF student Ashley Fazio. “I think a sense of
PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY HANNAH MILLER / DAILY TITAN
humor is a good quality.” Also, most pickup lines are used by individuals who are keen on getting to know someone.
“It shows a sign of interest, and I think that’s cool,” said CSUF ROTC member Hunter Alonzo. However, pickup lines are
also seen as an indicator of insincerity, especially when the comments are vulgar. “I can tell if you’re not being yourself,” Damon said.
Additionally, Fazio said that she is more willing to give a guy her phone number if the pickup line is amusing rather than obscene.
Although he’s never used pickup lines, Alonzo said that he has heard the worst one. “If you were a booger, I’d pick you first,” Alonzo said.