Big Apple product

ginning of the year. Periodically checks in and hosts study breaks. Ivy Club, n. Bicker club with a reputation for elitism, mahogany, and international students.

Its women’s bathroom may be the most photographed part of

Princeton, after Blair Arch.

J

Jam, n. An event at which one or more a cappella groups sing, commonly under an arch. JP, abbrev. junior paper. Lengthy independent work for juniors meant to prepare them for the senior thesis. Some departments require one; most require two.

Tragic reminder of impending mortality. Junior slums, n. Upperclass dorms located up-campus; Princeton’s version of slums, nicknamed,

“slums.” Don’t be fooled by the

Gothic stone.

K

Kiddie lit, nickname, ENG 385:

Children’s Literature. Perennially over-enrolled course that people think will be an easy LA.

Beware — it’s quite large and grades are heavily deflated.

L

LA, abbrev. Literature and Arts, a category of your distribution requirements. See “kiddie lit.”

Late meal, n. Late meal, n. The only thing that makes upperclass students jealous of first-years.

In theory, an option for students who miss dining hall meal times. In practice, free noms and mixers. See “Frist.”

Lawnparties, n. Afternoon drinka-thon and dance-a-thon on the lawn of each eating club, held in early fall and at the end of spring

Houseparties. Known for importing great bands and creating a massive influx of sundresses on Prospect Avenue. Time of year to wear your preppiest clothing — pastels encouraged. LCA, abbrev. Lewis Center for the

Arts. Beautiful, modern building complex that serves as Princeton’s home for the arts. Safe haven for theater kids.

Lectures, n. pl. Oft-missed speeches by professors that constitute the foundation of the Princeton education. Try to attend a couple so you can tell your parents that you are making the most of their tuition dollars.

List, n. Method that bicker clubs use to determine who can enter for a night out. What first-years and sophomores agonize about getting onto. Why juniors and seniors in these clubs get texts from younger students they barely know. Listserv, n. The reason your Gmail app continuously gives you notifications. A main line of communication between campus groups and their members. Most common iterations include your res college listserv, filled with messages ranging from dance group ticket sales to political manifestos, and the free food listserv, which is exactly what it sounds like.

M

Mathey College, n. Residential college located just south of Rocky.

A collection of loosely associated buildings with no central quad.

Shares a large, picturesque dining hall with Rocky. McCosh, abbrev. McCosh Health

Center. 1. n. Located just south of Frist. You go here when you’re too drunk to go to your room but not drunk enough for the hospital. Areas of expertise: mono and asking women if they’re pregnant. 2. v. Sending your toodrunk friend to the infirmary, or getting sent yourself. Usage:

“We had no choice but to Mc-

Cosh him,” or “Frosh week was so messy, I got McCoshed.”

McGraw, abbrev. McGraw Center for Teaching and Learning.

Study service that offers one-onone and group tutoring for many introductory courses. Located in

Frist. Also a good study spot.

Multi-club Bicker, n. Initiative begun recently in which some of the bicker clubs allowed sophomores to bicker two clubs at once. See “Bicker.” NARP, n. Non-athletic regular person. We are here and we are proud. netID, n. The part of your email address preceding “@princeton.edu” and your username for most campus websites. New York City, n. Just an hourand-a-half train ride away. Sometimes certain classes take you there for free.

O

OA, abbrev. Outdoor Action. Weeklong pre-orientation program that sends half of the incoming class into the woods to get dirty and make friends. There’s no action on Outdoor Action, but there’s always frosh week to get to know a new friend even better. ODUS, abbrev. Office of the Dean of Undergraduate Students.

Oversees campus organizations, undergraduate student government, and various student centers. A source of funding for your student group. Orange Key, n. Campus tour-guiding group. Don’t believe everything they told you on your tour. Orgo, abbrev. CHM 301/302: Organic Chemistry. Soul-killer. Separates the kids from the doctors.

P

PAA, abbrev. Peer Academic Adviser. Student available to give first-years academic advice.

Shows up sparingly at zee group study breaks.

P/D/F, abbrev. pass/D/fail. Grading option developed to facilitate a true liberal arts education. Designed to allow students to take a class that expands their horizons with the guarantee that their GPA won’t tank. Unless you get a D. Or fail. See “distribution requirements.” Pequod, n. 1. Fictional ship in Herman Melville’s “Moby Dick.” 2.

Outrageously expensive photocopied packets of required reading that often resemble the whale. Promised to become free during every USG election. Don’t hold your breath. Found in the

U-Store.

Physics for Future Leaders, actual name of PHY 115A. A physics course explicitly designed to introduce non-scientists to just enough science to ostensibly be able to make decisions. Future leaders who are also scientists should seek an actual education elsewhere. See “P/D/F.” PMC, abbrev. Princeton Medical Center. The destination you absolutely don’t want to end up after a night out. Getting PMCed is a much more expensive alternative to getting McCoshed. See

“McCosh,” “boot.” 2. Princeton

Model Congress. Event for high schoolers, staffed by students who get to stay in D.C. for free.

Not to be confused with the former.

P-Rade, n. Annual procession of ridiculously spirited, multi-generational alumni sporting blackand-orange costumes. Takes place at the end of Reunions. See

“alumni,” “Reunions.”

Pre-med, n. A student hoping to go to medical school. Generalized anxiety and cutthroat behavior varies per person. Precept, n. Discussion between a small group of students and a preceptor (a grad student or faculty member) to supplement lectures. A unique feature of

Princeton’s education system inaugurated by Woodrow Wilson.

Vary widely in quality. Never truly mandatory. Pregame, 1. n. Name for any gathering held prior to a night out on the Street. Usually a source of hard liquor. Usage: “birthday pregame,” “frat pregame.” 2. v. To consume drinks at a party held on campus prior to a night out on the Street. Usage: “Let’s pregame at John’s birthday party before heading to T.I.” Princeton, n. 1. The University to which you have committed the rest of your life (including your future earnings). 2. The affluent suburban town in which your blissful Orange Bubble is located. Princetoween, n. The night on which all of campus collectively celebrates Halloween, irrespective of the actual date. Typically the Thursday before Fall Break.

Prospect, abbrev. 1. Prospect

House. Formerly the University president’s home in the middle of campus. Now a faculty dining hall and the site of end-of-semester fancy dinners for various organizations. 2. Prospect Garden.

The gardens surrounding Prospect House; popular venue for

Houseparties photos. 3. Prospect

Avenue, a.k.a the Street. 4. The

Prospect, the ‘Prince’ section for arts, culture, and student life. Prospect 12, n. The ultimate drinking challenge: one beer at every eating club in one night. A favored item on senior bucket lists.

Most commonly conquered on

Princetoween or Dranksgiving.

Although only 11 clubs are operational, the 12th is Campus Club. Prox, 1. n. Common name for PUID, or the Princeton University TigerCard. 2. v. To unlock a door by holding your PUID close to an electronic sensor. Usage: “Could you prox me in?” See “PUID.” P-Safe, abbrev. Public Safety.

University cops responsible for regulating parking, ignoring room parties, and opening doors for locked-out students. Despite years of effort by the police union, the officers don’t carry guns. PTL, abbrev. Post-Thesis Life. The time of year after seniors have turned in their thesis, but before graduation, where they have no responsibilities in life. A time well spent but poorly remembered.

PUID, n. 1. Your University ID.

Your key to admission at the library, sporting events, and eating clubs. Can be used to charge food purchases to your student account. Eating club members sport special stickers on theirs. 2. Method sign-in clubs use to determine who can enter during nights out. In this case, if you’re a student and have a PUID, you’re good. See “prox.”

Q

QCR, abbrev. Quantitative and

Computational Reasoning, a distribution requirement

Quadrangle Club, n. Sign-in club commonly known as “Quad.” The only eating club with a liquor license, meaning it’s the club with the best drinks. The eating club

Jeff Bezos ’86 belonged to.

R

RCA, abbrev. Residential college adviser. An upperclass student who lives in your hall and provides free food (see “study break”), condoms, and answers to questions like what to do when your roommate hasn’t showered in five weeks. See “Zee group.”

Reading period, n. Week and a half to catch up on work at the end of each semester. Originally intended as time to do independent research, it is now a time to sleep in until 2 p.m. and to read and write everything you haven’t in the past semester. Dean’s Date happens at the end. Recal.io, n. Website students use to plan their courses for each semester. Has all possible courses and precepts so students can optimize their classes.

Real talk princeton, n. Tumblr page run by anonymous students who answer basically any question about Princeton. When you have a question nobody knows the answer to, or you don’t feel comfortable asking your friends, this is the place to go. Residential college, n. Your home at Princeton for at least your first two years of college. There are six residential colleges on campus: Rocky, Mathey, Butler, First,

Whitman, and Forbes. Each college varies greatly in amenities, types of rooms, and location, but they all provide a sense of community, and more importantly, a source of free gear.

Residential College Facebook, n.

Great Value-brand Tigerbook. It does the job in the meantime, but doesn’t hold up to Tigerbook. Residential college staff, n. Wellmeaning faculty members who work for your residential college and have varying degrees of helpfulness. Skilled at clogging your email inbox. Includes the

Head of College, Dean of College,

Director of Studies, and Director of Student Life.

Reunions, n. Beer-saturated gathering of alumni during the weekend before Commencement for drinking, fellowship, and the P-Rade. Good excuse for students to delay returning home for a week at the end of the year.

Reportedly the event with the second-highest level of alcohol consumption, after only the Indy 500. See “P-Rade.”

Rival, n. What Princeton lacks as the third wheel in HYP. What

Penn thinks we are.

Rocky College, abbrev. Rockefeller

College. Northernmost residential college known for gorgeous

Gothic architecture. Room draw, n. Computerized process by which students select rooms for the upcoming year.

Conspiracy theories abound about the supposed randomness of the process: People with high social security numbers, third letters of their last names near the end of the alphabet, and Minnesota addresses may receive better times.

Room improvement, n. Purgatory into which students with tragically late draw times are cast.

Over the summer, those who are eligible for room improvement will theoretically be placed into better rooms. See “room draw.”

Rush, v. To move very quickly toward something. n. 1. An aquatic plant. 2. A process you are forbidden to know anything about.

Shhh.

S

SA, abbrev. Social Analysis. Distribution requirement that can be fulfilled by a large variety of courses in the realm of humanities and social science.

Safety school, 1. n. Yale, Harvard,

Penn, etc. 2. phrase. Popular chant at basketball games regardless of opponent. SEL, abbrev. Science and Engineering with Lab, a self-explanatory distributional requirement. See

“Bridges.” SEN, abbrev. Science and Engineering, Nonlaboratory, a self-explanatory distribution requirement. See “Physics for Future Leaders.”

Sexile, v. To render your roommate homeless after a successful date or night out. Etiquette in case of sexile should be discussed with your roommate ASAP. Shared meal plan, n. A system by which one can be a member of both an eating club and a residential college, with meals split between the two. Also known as the dream. The number of slots available vary widely by club. Sign-in club, n. Eating club that takes members through a lottery system rather than Bicker. Squirrel, n. A furry friend and foe.

Cute when scurrying around campus. Pesky when scavenging in your dorm room. Scary when rabid. Not scared of people.

Comes in brown, gray, and black varieties.

Sororities, n. pl. Groups of women who gather together to take pictures in dresses and “network.”

There are only three at this school: Kappa Kappa Gamma (“Kappa”), Pi Beta Phi (“Pi Phi”), and Kappa Alpha Theta (“Theta”). First-years are not allowed to rush Greek organizations. It may be your ticket into a bicker club, or a way for people to instantly stereotype you. SPIA, abbrev. School of Public and International Affairs. Formerly selective concentration for students interested in becoming bankers or consultants and learning the language of bureaucracy, as well as those rare folk who actually do want to save the world through government (but will probably end up in banking or consulting). SPIA fountain, n. Idyllic fountain and pool located in Scudder Plaza, north of Robertson Hall. The entire student body can be found taking photos here pre-Lawnparties. Popular wading spot in the spring, especially after SPIA theses are submitted.

Stars for Stoners, nickname. AST 203: The Universe. Purported to actually be a somewhat difficult class involving actual equations.

See “P/D/F.” Study break, n. Code for free food.

At any given time, there is a high chance some study break is happening around campus. Most common benefactors of study breaks include res colleges,

RCAs, and clubs.

T

Terrace Club, n. Sign-in club known for artsy types, vegans and hipsters. Popular end-ofnight stop for all of campus. The only eating club not on Prospect

Avenue.

T.I., abbrev. Tiger Inn. Bicker club known for raucous, beer-soaked parties and heavy preponderance of bros. Tower Club, n. Bicker club known for first-year-friendly dance floor and taproom, as well as heavy preponderance of theater types, a cappella groups, and SPIA majors. Thesis, n. The T word. Major senior pastime, required of every

A.B. student and some B.S.E. students. Most are close to 100 pages. Often replaces socialization, exercise, happiness, etc. in the spring. Tiger, n. 1. Princeton student or athlete. 2. Mascot dressed in tiger-skin suit who capers and cavorts at football games while trying to avoid attacks by the opponent’s band. 3. Campus humor magazine of erratic quality and publication schedule. 4. Striped predatory jungle cat. Tigerbook, n. Database containing every Princeton student and information such as their class year, major, and most importantly, a photo. The single-most useful tool you will encounter in your time at Princeton. Not always operational. For an alternative, see “Residential College

Facebook.”

TigerHub, n. Poorly named and poorly designed software to fulfill administrative duties such as enrolling in courses and checking grades. Have to reload the page three times before it works.

U

Up-campus, adj., n. Located on the part of campus closer to Nassau

Street, up the hill. Begins around

Dillon Gym and extends through

Rocky. Synonym: “north.” Usage:

“From here, go up-campus to find Brown.”

U-Store, n. Officially, the Princeton University Store. Located at 36 University Place, across from Blair Arch. Sells food, dorm items, and school supplies. Overpriced, but great location. USG, abbrev. Undergraduate

Student Government. Resumebuilders who like to hear themselves talk. Plans Lawnparties.

Otherwise, of questionable impact.

W

Wa, The, n. Campus colloquialism for the Wawa convenience store.

Located between the Dinky and

Forbes.

Whitman College, n. Residential college that bears a striking resemblance to the castle in Shrek.

As the newest college, built in 2007, it has air conditioning and very nice rooms. Writing Center, n. Singlehandedly responsible for helping firstyears survive writing sem. Offers individual appointments to help at any point in the writing process.

Wucox, n. Portmanteau for “Wu/ Wilcox dining hall.” Large dining hall that serves Butler and First Colleges. Frequented by athletes and gym rats post-workout.

Z

Zee group, abbrev. Group of advisees. The 20 or so first-years frequently found under the wing of a residential college adviser. May or may not become close friends over the course of the year. Statistically, at least one permutation within the group will hook up.

Zoom, n. The death of your eyeballs, your computer battery, and your traditional college education. Begone, classrooms. We’ll see what happens this year.