The Current - Oct. 27

OCTOBER 27, 2011

THE CURRENT

EXIT

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INSIDE THE JEWISH THEATRE ENSEMBLE’S WILD-CARD FALL SHOW ‘BONES’ small screen selections pg.03

BEN KEMPER Q&A pg.04

MY CRAPPIEST NU MOMENT Profiles pg.04

FILM-INSPIRED COSTUMES Mise en scène pg.06

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THE CURRENT viewpoints

OUR 2 CENTS

Mackenzie Bronk

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez adopted a puppy named Baylor this week. What’s next for this burgeoning young family of three?

BABY BABY BABY OHHH

Colleen Park

First comes a puppy, then comes marriage...

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Jonah Rosenblum

They adopt a young and exceedingly handsome NU journalism student who really wouldn’t mind lying by the pool all day.

PULSE PULSE

Rachel Morello

Puberty?

IN PREPARATION FOR MIDTERMS, I...

Tailgated, recovered from tailgating and tailgated some more

Studied like crazy 29.5%

8.2% Lindsay Lohan is allegedly baring it all for Playboy.

In six words, tell us how you really feel.

Clearly her limits do not exist.

We don’t care.

Get the picture?

Frightened, yet also somewhat turned on.

Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. Was that six? ...Ew.

Instant Netflix

Spent more time worrying than studying

16.4%

45.9%

THE CURRENT

...

Useless questions with

EDITOR IN CHIEF ashley fetters ASSISTANT EDITORS colleen park, megan patsavas

Andie Schroeder, Johnny Langan & Steph Asplundh

DESIGN EDITOR jenna fugate DESIGNER rebecca savransky

Project Scare co-chairs

What’s your spirit animal?

Andie: It’s so cliche, but I have to go with dolphin. They have so much fun and they’re always hanging out with their dolphin friends.

It’d be a good life.

Johnny: Anna Nicole Smith. I saw this movie she was in once, Skyscraper, and every time I begin to doubt myself I can watch the outtakes on YouTube to boost my spirits. Otherwise, a kangaroo.

Steph: Brown bear cub. It appears cute, but it has the looming threat of being terrifying.

Segway or Razor scooter?

Andie: This is really hard because I’m lazy when it comes to getting around, but I have to say Razor scooter. When I was a kid I pretended that I was Harry Potter and my Razor was my broom, so it takes me back.

Johnny: Why? I’d rather walk. I almost killed myself freshman year scootering through Elder, and I’m pretty sure I’d develop vertigo on a Segway...

Steph: I would have to choose the scooter, since Segways confuse me. Why do cops ride them? Why can’t they walk like the rest of us?

–Alyssa Clough

Out of 97 peoplecompiled by Cat Chen

@TWIT.PICKS @ParrtyCat: “SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK!!! And people who budget their time well”(Oct. 18) @alexikovin: “I would rather read 5 one page articles than 1 five page article. At least then I would feel like I’m getting some work done…” (Oct. 18) @bridgetilling: “Ugh this game is killing me. This would never happen on Friday Night Lights #NUHomecoming” (Oct. 22)

@payolelly: “I missed the #Northwestern Homecoming game tonight, but it was a rerun so it doesn’t matter. #NUHC #NUPSU” (Oct. 22) @StephFang: “the next home game will be colder…or should I say, Colter?” (Oct 23) @fiveohthree: “It’s 3:14 #pietime #nerdwestern” (Oct. 23) –Rachel Morello

this weekend in music

@ P I C K - S TA I G E R FRIDAY SATURDAY 28 29 Tokyo String Quartet Master Class Regenstein, 10:00 a.m.

Free

The award-winning Tokyo String Quartet coaches talented Bienen School string students.

Symphonic Band: Inspirations Pick-Staiger, 7:30 p.m. $6/4 Timothy J. Robblee, conductor William Schuman, George Washington Bridge Sergei Prokofiev, March in B-flat Stephen Gryc, Masquerade Variations Carter Pann, The Bach Buch Scott McAllister, KRUMP

Lisztomania: Jerome Lowenthal, piano Lutkin, 7:30 p.m. $10/6 Following the recent release of his critically acclaimed recording of Liszt’s complete Années de pèlerinage, legendary pianist Jerome Lowenthal returns to Northwestern with an all-Liszt program, including a rare performance of the B Minor Sonata.

OCT. 28 - 30 , 2011

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SUNDAY

Northwestern University Chamber Orchestra Pick-Staiger, 7:30 p.m. $6/4

Hymnfest X: All Creatures of Our God and King Alice Millar Chapel, 7 p.m.

Freewill offering

Robert G. Hasty, conductor; conductor

Stephen Alltop, conductor conductor; Alice Millar Chapel Choir and Millar Brass Ensemble

Carl Maria von Weber, Overture to Der Freischütz Igor Stravinsky, Suite No. 2 for Small Orchestra Benjamin Britten, Matinées musicales (after Rossini) Franz Schubert, Symphony No. 4 in C Minor (Tragic) Tragic Tragic)

Lisztomania: Yoshikazu Nagai and Dmitry Rachmanov, piano Lutkin, 7:30 p.m. $10/6

Come sing magnificent hymns in an inspiring space! The Chapel Choir, Millar Brass Ensemble, and attendees join the 100-rank Aeolian Skinner organ in hymn arrangements by Stephen Alltop, Vaclav Nelhybel, Richard Webster, and many others.

Pianists Yoshikazu Nagai and Dmitry Rachmanov share a program of Liszt solo works that includes transcriptions of music by Schubert and Wagner as well as the famous Mephisto Waltz. They then join forces in Liszt’s two-piano paraphrase of Mozart’s Don Giovanni.

Alice Millar Chapel Choir

BIENEN SCHOOL OF MUSIC

NORTHWESTERN UNIVERSIT Y

TICKETS: 847.467.4000

O R W W W . P I C K S TA I G E R . O R G

THE CURRENT reviews

Thursday, October 27, 2011

REVIEWS

REVIEWS

TV: SMALL SCREEN SELECTIONS: ‘Bones’ a fully fleshed-out thriller

“Bones” fans, prepare yourselves: Our favorite forensic anthropologist and FBI agent are back with their dependable team of forensic eggheads (the “squints”) for their seventh season of inspecting skeletal remains.

Join brilliant, socially inept forensic anthropologist Dr. Temperance “Bones” Brennan and her partner, Special Agent Seeley Booth, as they solve crimes by identifying human remains too far deteriorated for standard FBI investigations. Brennan’s empirical, literal worldview causes friction with Booth’s emotive, free-wheeling attitude, creating a volatile, sexy relationship that’s, quite frankly, the real reason we watch the show. (Let’s be real, people — forensic anthropology is cool, but after about three seasons of finding a dead body, identifying the victim and eventually catching

the bad guy, it’s clear that the real gem of this series is the relationship between logical Brennan and her instinct-driven partner).

Many of you may be wondering if this season is worth watching after the disappointing and tedious puttering of Booth and Brennan’s relationship of late, but fear not: This season of “Bones” will be sailing into uncharted waters.

Last season’s finale left viewers’ mouths agape at the announcement that Dr. Brennan is pregnant! That’s right: murder, mayhem, decrepit corpses, and — oh hey, a newborn, along with Booth and Brennan in an actual relationship.

Booth, Bones, baby!? What does this mean for the show!? At this point, we can only watch in sweaty-palm anticipation.

After six seasons of on-and-off romantic tension, a buildup only to an anticlimactic

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AND DON’T MISS...

end to any hope of getting together, and then a startling announcement of pregnancy, will the couple finally get together? Will we finally get the steamy scenes we deserve? Although producers have admitted that this season they plan on skipping the “shots to the bedroom” scene (yes, much disappointment), this is actually a blessing in disguise! By keeping some of the mystery alive and promises of playful, innuendo-filled repartee between our favorite pair, producers have made sure that viewers will be kept guessing, and the sexy sizzle and chemistry will be far from burning out as they take on crime, one mutilated body at a time.

“Bones”premieres Nov. 3 at 8 p.m. on FOX. –Sanjana Shankar

COMMUNITY Some of the best episodes have been Halloween parodies, and tonight’s will surely be no exception. With Britta convinced someone in the study group is mentally unstable and the group telling their favorite ghost stories, the episode will likely leave you scared. “Community” airs Thursdays on NBC at 7 p.m.

THE GOOD WIFE Parker Posey guest stars this week as Eli Gold’s never before seen ex-wife. With Posey’s capacity for snark and ruthlessness, I’m going to take a guess that she’s not quite as “good” as the show’s namesake. “The Good Wife” airs Sundays on CBS at 8 p.m.

–Mackenzie Bronk

Uh Huh Her turns darkly gorgeous on ‘Nocturnes’ MORE MUSIC THIS WEEK Florence + The Machine, Ceremonials (Nov. 1, U.S.)

The second studio album from English redhead Florence Welch and her indie-pop outfit features already well-received singles “What the Water Gave Me” and “Shake It Out” — the latter of which made it to the No. 33 slot on the U.S. alternative charts.

The Beach Boys, The SMiLE Sessions (Nov. 1, U.S.)

Capitol/EMI will release The SMiLE Sessions, which will bring to light The Beach Boys’ lost 1966-67 recordings. For diehards, box set of five CDs, two LPs, two 7-inch records, a 60-page book and a “3-D shadowbox lid” will also be available.

–Kara Ali Goldsmith

Fresh off the scandalicious rendezvous that made headlines and got them ejected from a Southwest flight, affectionate Uh Huh Her bandmates Leisha Hailey and Camila Grey are turning heads once again—this time, though, they’re attracting attention with their knockout second album Nocturnes.

Co-produced by UHH’s own Camila Grey and singer/songwriter and producer, Wendy Melvoin, Nocturnes is a notable step up from their previous album.

Uh Huh Her’s first album, Common Reaction, was pop/electronic. This follow-up, however, is “a rock album, not really electronic,” Grey says. As if to portray its title, Nocturnes, the group’s sound has become much darker — this may be in part

because their new work was recorded at night.

Their first single, “Another Case,” flaunts its rich, quintessentially UHH sound, complete with a catchy melody polished off by a layer of mystique.

This album also includes “Same High,” which was part of a Golden Globe nominated soundtrack album of the last year’s critically acclaimed movie The Kids Are All Right. I wouldn’t say this is a light and bright song, but the track is relatively upbeat and fun, and it is my personal favorite.

Hailey and Grey, however, both cite “Wake to Sleep” as their favorite track. Grey calls it a “a very literal song” — one that she wrote, in fact, about Hailey. This track stands out because this is one of the only dreamy and pleasant-listening songs on the album.

Though Grey was under the weather during their current Keep A Breast Tour to promote breast cancer awareness, the duo showcased many of the new songs from their latest album and the EP they released earlier this year. As a special addition to their show at the House of the Blues in Chicago, they covered Jeff Buckley’s “Yard of Blonde Girls.”

Hailey recently received extensive media coverage when she accused Southwest of discrimination via Twitter. Of the incident, Grey says simply, “I don’t fly [with] them anymore.”

As they continue with their Keep A Breast Tour during National Breast Cancer Prevention Month, Hailey said that they will be releasing three more videos from the album.

–Jennifer Suh

More than ‘Skin’ deep: Sex and science collide in quasi-thriller More than ‘Skin’ deep: Sex and science collide in quasi-thriller In this Age of Information, our bodies rarely determine our identities. Relationship status, music preference, pet peeves – the things by which we define ourselves have little do with our physical exteriors. Yet according to Dr. Robert Ledgard, the anti-hero of Pedro Almodóvar’s The Skin I Live In, identity is literally skin deep.

Ledgard (Antonio Banderas) is a brilliant plastic surgeon who has barely survived the suicides of both his wife and daughter. Instead of falling apart, however, he has hardened into an compulsively groomed, unflappable man of science, neither betraying the pain that surely must be seething

underneath his glacial surface nor shedding his rational mask to reveal his underlying psychosis.

His grief only fuels his obsession with creating the perfect human skin, an obsession he carries out on Vera (Elena Anaya), the stunning, mysterious patient indefinitely imprisoned in his home.

After six monstrous years and innumerable cringe-worthy procedures, Ledgard has finally completed his surgical tinkering. What, both the victim and aggressor wonder, will happen now?

Heretofore, Ledgard has concerned himself solely with Vera’s body, monitoring her on gigantic television screens like a scientist monitors his lab rats. Yet now his cameras monitor her emotions more than her health — and the question becomes whether his interest has shifted beyond her flesh

to the brilliant and volatile mind behind it.

How much Vera reciprocates this developing emotion is anyone’s guess. Clearly she is unsatisfied with her imprisonment, but it is impossible to tell whether, if freed, she would run out the door or leap into Ledgard’s arms. Anaya, the unqualified highlight of the film, infuses her character with as much fragility as frustration, providing a pathos that expands the film out of its narrow thriller conceit (“mad scientist exploits beautiful, enigmatic woman”). Could they ever truly forgive one another — Vera not being as innocent as we assume — and establish a relationship of equals?

Has she maintained her former self, or is she truly the doctor’s creation?

Unfortunately, these questions are never fully

addressed by the more adrenaline-fueled plot.

Almodóvar uses his crisp, bold style to propel the film through a cataclysmic plot twist toward a weirdly unsatisfying finale, driven by brisk editing and a score full of agitated strings. Incredibly, the film manages to make science — petri dishes, centrifuges and all —sexy and not only due to its frequent “observation” of Vera’s unclad figure (read: her breasts may have more screen time than her face). But if its philosophical underpinnings had been used to fill the plot’s many holes, the result could have been as dazzlingly complex as the DNA strand that turns slowly behind the credits.

Instead, the film and DNA have one, overpowering similarity: They are both extremely twisted.

–Britta Hanson

Gorman: Plenty of reason to be fond of ‘I Love You Because’

Photo by Maggie Gorman

According to “I Love You Because,” the way people take their coffee speaks volumes about them.

Likewise, a person’s opinion of Pride and Prejudice ought to be quite telling as well. But Pride and Prejudice purists and British lit haters alike could find something and someone to love in “I Love You Because,” a modernday, musical retelling of the classic Jane Austen tale.

The musical, staged in Shanley Pavilion this weekend by Lovers & Madmen, takes the familiar characters of the age-old romance and turns them on their heads:Gender roles are reversed, as Mr. Darcy becomes “Marcy Fitzwilliams” (Rachel Shapiro) and Elizabeth Bennett becomes “Austin Bennett” (Corey Moss). Austin, who writes greeting cards, has just broken up with his girlfriend when he meets Marcy, a photographer also reeling after a breakup. Brought together thanks to JDate (one of many blatantly modern additions to the classic tale), the two gradually become involved in an honest, modern-day version of a relationship, despite their polar-opposite personalities.

Providing comic relief are actuary Diana Bingley

(Mia Weinberger) and free spirit Jeff Bennett (Jonny Stein), “friends with benefits” trying to define their relationship without destroying it.

While the characters themselves stumble through love, director Jesse Rothschild created a cast with pitchperfect chemistry. Rachel Shapiro’s Marcy, alternately heart-wrenching and lighthearted, remained engaging and completely believable throughout the show, aided by her effortless singing. Her conflicting desires for both independence and partnership create a truly dynamic character; after a turning-point night spent together, Corey Moss as Austin serenades Marcy with “Maybe We Just Made Love,” making the audience fall head over heels for both characters alike.

Meanwhile, Jonny Stein as Jeff made the audience fall in love with love, using his spot-on comedic timing and thorough honesty. Together with Mia Weinberger as Diana, the couple’s funniness truly got to shine in a particular Act One song, “Just Friends,” highlighting the blurred boundaries between casual and exclusive relationships. Allie Parris as the “NYC Woman,” a part

calling for the portrayal of multiple roles, stood out with her distinct brand of slapstick humor. Even the well-constructed and believable set brought the audience completely into the romantic world of New York (despite its location in a venue often bemoaned by set designers for its challenging layout).

The musical’s departures from the antiquated tropes of Pride and Prejudice created a refreshing new perspective on how love really works. For audience members in the throes of singledom, the play may have incited positive feelings resembling those of the warm-andfuzzy “in love” variety. Those blissful sentiments ended abruptly, however, with the curtain call, perhaps leaving viewers more than a bit disillusioned with the often superficial (or nonexistent) limbo of college romance.

But for fans of honest, not overly sentimental romantic comedies with a heart, this production struck a resonant chord between funny and poignant, as well as serious and cheesy — more than can be said for most run-of-the-mill offstage romantic encounters.

—Maggie Gorman

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THE CURRENT profiles

Thursday, October 27, 2011

CRAPPIEST NU moment MY____________

It was a beautiful, crisp fall Friday afternoon on Northwestern’s sprawling campus. The leaves were falling, the sun was shining and I was going home for the first time since moving to college. Waiting for me at home was a family reunion with family from Europe, my parents and sisters, a visit to all my friends who attend the University of Nebraska at Lincoln and a visit with all my friends at the Miss Teen Nebraska USA pageant. Everything was planned down to the minute. There was so much to look forward to, so naturally, what could possibly go wrong?

Because I didn’t have class on Fridays, I celebrated the weekend by staying out until the wee hours of the night before. Definitely the best move.

My roommate’s mom was kind enough to volunteer to drive me to the airport, so I didn’t even have

to pay for a cab! Little did I know, Midway was not the same as O’Hare, was significantly farther away AND there were massive amounts of traffic on Friday afternoons. I intermittently dozed off in the two hours it took to arrive at Midway, with the warm sunlight shining through the window, while attempting polite conversation.

Cut to 10 minutes before takeoff, and I am running to security. I have never been this late to an airport and am, so I thought, visibly panicked. Instead of verbalizing my aggravation, I just demonically stared down everyone that got in my way. As I am “gentle jogging,� also known as a walking at a brisk pace with sporadic all-out sprints, I realize not only are they paging me repeatedly over the loud speaker, but my dress is caught in my backpack. I was flashing all of Midway and could not stop to

do anything about it. Confused, disoriented and desperate to find my gate, I gave up on trying to fix the situation.

After what seemed like hours of frantic jogging while exposing my behind to all of Chicago, I finally made it to my gate and checked in with the nice attendant. While she went off to see if I could still board the plane, a kind, middle-aged man politely said, “Uhhh young lady, uhm, your skirt is stuck, you might want to fix that,� at which point I am nearly in tears. Did he seriously think I did not know my bare ass was out to play for the world to see? Couldn’t he tell I was holding back tears trying not to yell at someone, anyone, for making me late when it was all my fault? At this point, I was so fed up I just walked away.

As I finally get personally escorted on to my

THAT’S MY

Q&A SOME GUY

Armed only with his animated gestures and precise, theatrical diction, Communication freshman Ben Kemper wows audiences with his storytelling.

Drawing inspiration from history and folktales, Kemper has performed everywhere on campus from the Shepard Residential College to the Rock and Allison quad. He found time in his busy schedule to sit down with the Current to talk about his process and performances.

Excerpts: THE CURRENT: What is your process of preparing a story for performance like?

Ben Kemper: First you have to ďŹ nd one — search through the library books, listen to the local history, just do something crazy and exciting — and then sit down a try to ďŹ nd the key images. Something that leaps off the tongue. It’s almost like being a jeweler. You take the gems of the images and you ďŹ t them into collars, so that it all ows nicely with a good curve of a phrase here and there. Then it’s all about repetition. Ideally a story should be practiced a hundred times before its ready. Then I ďŹ nd a little test audience, perform it for them, and then I take it out into the world.

THE CURRENT: When did you ďŹ rst perform publicly?

BK: I was in the 3rd grade, and another professional storyteller was coming to my elementary.

I had been making a name: “Hey, you see that kid? You go up to him at recess and he’ll tell you a story for a cookie or a husk of bread.� The principal came over and asked me, “Ben would you like to be the cold open?� And I said, “Well, sure! I’ve got a three-minute story that I’d love to tell.� About a week later, there I was behind the curtain. It opened up. I came forward, told this little story “Prinderella and the Pransome Hince,� and the whole place was laughing! When I turned around, the storyteller said “That was wonderful!�

He gave me a pat on the shoulder and we’ve been in contact ever since.

THE CURRENT: How do you ďŹ nd stories?

BK: They come from everywhere. Most of the stories I tell come from folklore from around the world. There are one or two stories I have that are stories from history. I have one or two stories that

JAM JANNA KAPLAN

By Clarke Humphrey

By Britta Hanson

I have told about my own personal experiences, though I don’t feel as if enough years have passed.

Then I have one story that I wrote myself, and that’s still a little work in progress, “The Troll and I.�

THE CURRENT: You perform publicly around campus.

What made you decide to follow this format as opposed to private events?

BK: If you do it out-of-doors, that means that anyone can walk up and say, “Wow, this looks really interesting,� and maybe be converted just as I was.

The reason I’m doing the stories at all is because I believe that anyone can be a teller. They just need to learn that there is an art form — that there is a useful use of time to celebrate that. Also, it was easier. I don’t know the ins and outs of the Norris system as of yet. So it’s just better to reserve the Rock than to have to pay a down payment to reserve the McCormick Tribune Theater.

THE CURRENT: How have students responded when they pass or attend one of your performances?

BK: A lot of them just turn around and slow down their steps and take a look. Some of them hurry on, but some of them come and sit at the edges, which is extremely gratifying. Everyone I’ve talked to has been very supportive of the idea. Some have been cautious about the possible success, but everyone’s been very supportive.

THE CURRENT: How do you feel about that response?

BK: Very, very chuffed. Very chuffed indeed. I wish I had a little bit more time to nurture discussion — to nurture interest. But at the moment I don’t.

THE CURRENT: What’s next for you as a storyteller?

BK: I will keep doing these performances. I have a couple of sets lined up and then I hope to have made enough connections with other people to get them to come up and tell their stories.

Ben’s next public performance will be at 7 p.m. on Dec. 3 at an undetermined location. He will also be performing in the play “The Buttery of Constantinople,â€? which will be running this February.

Visit his website www.benkemperstoryteller.com for recordings and more information. rafi.letzter@gmail.com –Rafi Letzter

flight, as the entire plane is staring me down for making them late, I tried to relax and focus on all the fun I would have once I arrived. When I finally debarked the aircraft, nerves on edge, generally pissed off and highly emotionally unstable, I walked through the security checkpoint and started scanning the crowd, looking for my family. Everybody was being greeted, hugged and led off to their happy and perfect lives, while I was left standing alone.

Nobody remembered to pick me up.

Apparently, so they say, there was a miscommunication about who was going to pick me up, back from college for the first time, alone and distraught, from the airport. Needless to say, it was not the welcome home I had hoped for. And that was my worst departure from NU moment. –Alyssa Clough

All hail the queen! Communications Senior and homecoming queen Janna Kaplan stepped away from her royal duties just long enough to talk to us about her love for Beyonce’s “Love on Top� and Remember the Titans.

Excerpts: T HE C URRENT : What are you listening to these days? What’s number one on your top 25 most played list?

Janna Kaplan: In spite of being on Mayfest and A&O, I have horrible taste in music.

But I’m listening to, like everyone else, “Love on Top� by Beyonce on repeat. Not to say that Beyonce is bad, I just wanted to preface with that. Number one on my top 25 most played? Wow, I’ve never even looked at that. If I had to guess, I’d say “Party at a Rich Dude’s House� by Ke$ha.

A royally quirky production by the Jewish Theatre Ensemble

Long live the king?: Will Sonheim as King Berenger the First contemplates death. Photo by Maggie Gorman

Death can’t be avoided, but it can be ignored. “In Exit the King,� showing this weekend in Shanley, it is exactly that cheery topic that is thrown into a whimsical spotlight, as it descends on a deteriorating kingdom ruled by dueling queens and a dying king who can’t ascend to the throne without throwing out his back. “It’s basically a comedy about death,� says Communication senior and director Samantha Beach. “The comedy is in this tug of war between the people trying to get him ready to die and the one queen who is still trying to hold onto him.�

The play centers on the ailing and elderly King Berenger the First, played

by Communication sophomore Will Sonheim, and his royal court as they try to push him from denial to acceptance of his imminent death. An absurdist play

by Eugene Ionesco, the story features a characteristic verbal whimsy and abstract, hard-to-follow or seemingly out-of-theblue statements and actions from caricature characters. “It’s a big departure from the naturalistic drama that we see a lot on this campus,� says Beach, “but I think we’re ready for something different. We’re ready to laugh and to hear what I think is a really beautiful story.�

Despite its quirks, the team is confident

Apply now for this popular writing course for students interested in civic engagement, offered by the Center for Writing Arts:

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T HE C URRENT : Favorite TV shows right now?

JK: Parks and Recreation recently pulled to the top of my list and when I get a chance to watch HBO, Boardwalk Empire is definitely up there.

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T HE C URRENT : Have you seen any movies lately? What are your favorites?

JK: I just saw Drive, which was really good with a great sound track, but way bloodier than expected. A favorite current movie is Lion King, which I also just saw in theaters.

I also love Love Actually and Remember the Titans.

In partnership with the Center for Civic Engagement, the Center for the Writing Arts is offering a course in Winter Quarter 2011-12 titled ³7KH $UW RI 1RQ¿FWLRQ ([SORULQJ :ULWLQJ IRU 6RFLDO &KDQJH ´ This course is intended especially for students with recent experience in service and community engagement. Students interested in writing who wish to link their interest more fully to civic engagement are also invited to apply.

T HE C URRENT : Are you reading anything interesting lately? What are your favorite books?

JK: I was dreading this question because Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m really embarrassed at how little I get to read here. Other than Harry Potter, Cider House Rules is another one of my favorites.

Students in this course will work together to explore the uses of writing WR UHĂ&#x20AC;HFW DQDO\WLFDOO\ DQG LPDJLQDWLYHO\ RQ SHUVRQDO H[SHULHQFH DV ZHOO to inform, persuade, and engage readers. Each student will also have the opportunity to develop plans for a sustained writing project based on individual interests and goals.

THE CURRENT : What are the biggest timeburners for you on the internet?

JK: Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m like not that cool. I love Twitter because 140 characters is what I have time to read. I hate Facebook, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s on the downhill. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not cool, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t go on Reddit or anything like that.

www.engage.northwestern.edu/writing

clarkehumphrey2014@u.northwestern.edu

5

EXIT THE KING

BEN KEMPER

photo by: Susan Du

THE CURRENT profiles

Thursday, October 27, 2011

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that audiences wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t feel too disoriented by the tangled dialogue. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a good play for audiences that maybe arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t too familiar with theatre, but familiar enough to want to watch a play,â&#x20AC;? says Communication sophomore and producer Matt Moynihan, in his first producing role at Northwestern. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s slapstick and fun. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an entertaining show.â&#x20AC;?

While Beach has directed outside of NU in the past, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Exit the Kingâ&#x20AC;? marks her directorial debut here on campus. â&#x20AC;&#x153;In my senior year, I wanted to do something unlike anything Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d ever worked on before,â&#x20AC;? says Beach. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It was something I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t confident Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d do well on, but I felt free to take risks and this really appealed to me.â&#x20AC;?

Steeped with improv veterans, the showâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cast is instrumental in creating a perfectly orchestrated wackiness. But unlike the candid lightheartedness of improvisation, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Exit the Kingâ&#x20AC;? calls for fully dimensional characters who are equally heartbreaking and humorous. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a subject that would traditionally be a tragedy, but the comedy is like a vessel to look at something honestly instead of just falling into something melodramatic and making death really sentimental,â&#x20AC;? says Sonheim.

While the Kingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s decline can be in turn hilarious and hard to watch, equally

captivating is the dynamic between his two rival queens, Marie and Margeurite. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Marie is the second wife to the king, but first in his heart,â&#x20AC;? says Communication sophomore Lindsey Chambers, who plays Marie. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Her outlook is very childish and naĂŻve, but thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s something to be said for that joy and just letting yourself be dazzled by everything thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s happening in the moment.â&#x20AC;?

Marguerite, her nemesis, is in cahoots with the Doctor (played by Will Wilhelm) to force the king into acceptance of death. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been so challenging and rewarding to play this character,â&#x20AC;? says Communication junior Emily Olcott, who plays Marguerite. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Although sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s older and no-nonsense, she has a lot of fight in her and a lot of humanity.â&#x20AC;?

The ensemble as a whole illuminates with deft comedic sensibilities a topic most are content to ignore. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s so important in college to think about legacy and how youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re spending your time,â&#x20AC;? says Beach. â&#x20AC;&#x153;This story really speaks to that, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also a lot of fun.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Exit the Kingâ&#x20AC;? is sponsored by the Jewish Theatre Ensemble with showings in Shanley Pavilion at 8 p.m. today, 8 p.m. and 11 p.m. Friday, and 2 p.m. and 8 p.m.

Saturday. â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Maggie Gorman

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4

THE CURRENT profiles

Thursday, October 27, 2011

CRAPPIEST NU moment MY____________

It was a beautiful, crisp fall Friday afternoon on Northwesternâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sprawling campus. The leaves were falling, the sun was shining and I was going home for the first time since moving to college. Waiting for me at home was a family reunion with family from Europe, my parents and sisters, a visit to all my friends who attend the University of Nebraska at Lincoln and a visit with all my friends at the Miss Teen Nebraska USA pageant. Everything was planned down to the minute. There was so much to look forward to, so naturally, what could possibly go wrong?

Because I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have class on Fridays, I celebrated the weekend by staying out until the wee hours of the night before. Definitely the best move.

My roommateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mom was kind enough to volunteer to drive me to the airport, so I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even have

to pay for a cab! Little did I know, Midway was not the same as Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Hare, was significantly farther away AND there were massive amounts of traffic on Friday afternoons. I intermittently dozed off in the two hours it took to arrive at Midway, with the warm sunlight shining through the window, while attempting polite conversation.

Cut to 10 minutes before takeoff, and I am running to security. I have never been this late to an airport and am, so I thought, visibly panicked. Instead of verbalizing my aggravation, I just demonically stared down everyone that got in my way. As I am â&#x20AC;&#x153;gentle jogging,â&#x20AC;? also known as a walking at a brisk pace with sporadic all-out sprints, I realize not only are they paging me repeatedly over the loud speaker, but my dress is caught in my backpack. I was flashing all of Midway and could not stop to

do anything about it. Confused, disoriented and desperate to find my gate, I gave up on trying to fix the situation.

After what seemed like hours of frantic jogging while exposing my behind to all of Chicago, I finally made it to my gate and checked in with the nice attendant. While she went off to see if I could still board the plane, a kind, middle-aged man politely said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Uhhh young lady, uhm, your skirt is stuck, you might want to fix that,â&#x20AC;? at which point I am nearly in tears. Did he seriously think I did not know my bare ass was out to play for the world to see? Couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t he tell I was holding back tears trying not to yell at someone, anyone, for making me late when it was all my fault? At this point, I was so fed up I just walked away.

As I finally get personally escorted on to my

THATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S MY

Q&A SOME GUY

Armed only with his animated gestures and precise, theatrical diction, Communication freshman Ben Kemper wows audiences with his storytelling.

Drawing inspiration from history and folktales, Kemper has performed everywhere on campus from the Shepard Residential College to the Rock and Allison quad. He found time in his busy schedule to sit down with the Current to talk about his process and performances.

Excerpts: THE CURRENT: What is your process of preparing a story for performance like?

Ben Kemper: First you have to ďŹ nd one â&#x20AC;&#x201D; search through the library books, listen to the local history, just do something crazy and exciting â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and then sit down a try to ďŹ nd the key images. Something that leaps off the tongue. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s almost like being a jeweler. You take the gems of the images and you ďŹ t them into collars, so that it all ďŹ&#x201A;ows nicely with a good curve of a phrase here and there. Then itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all about repetition. Ideally a story should be practiced a hundred times before its ready. Then I ďŹ nd a little test audience, perform it for them, and then I take it out into the world.

THE CURRENT: When did you ďŹ rst perform publicly?

BK: I was in the 3rd grade, and another professional storyteller was coming to my elementary.

I had been making a name: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hey, you see that kid? You go up to him at recess and heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll tell you a story for a cookie or a husk of bread.â&#x20AC;? The principal came over and asked me, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Ben would you like to be the cold open?â&#x20AC;? And I said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Well, sure! Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got a three-minute story that Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d love to tell.â&#x20AC;? About a week later, there I was behind the curtain. It opened up. I came forward, told this little story â&#x20AC;&#x153;Prinderella and the Pransome Hince,â&#x20AC;? and the whole place was laughing! When I turned around, the storyteller said â&#x20AC;&#x153;That was wonderful!â&#x20AC;?

He gave me a pat on the shoulder and weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been in contact ever since.

THE CURRENT: How do you ďŹ nd stories?

BK: They come from everywhere. Most of the stories I tell come from folklore from around the world. There are one or two stories I have that are stories from history. I have one or two stories that

JAM JANNA KAPLAN

By Clarke Humphrey

By Britta Hanson

I have told about my own personal experiences, though I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t feel as if enough years have passed.

Then I have one story that I wrote myself, and thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s still a little work in progress, â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Troll and I.â&#x20AC;?

THE CURRENT: You perform publicly around campus.

What made you decide to follow this format as opposed to private events?

BK: If you do it out-of-doors, that means that anyone can walk up and say, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Wow, this looks really interesting,â&#x20AC;? and maybe be converted just as I was.

The reason Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m doing the stories at all is because I believe that anyone can be a teller. They just need to learn that there is an art form â&#x20AC;&#x201D; that there is a useful use of time to celebrate that. Also, it was easier. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know the ins and outs of the Norris system as of yet. So itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just better to reserve the Rock than to have to pay a down payment to reserve the McCormick Tribune Theater.

THE CURRENT: How have students responded when they pass or attend one of your performances?

BK: A lot of them just turn around and slow down their steps and take a look. Some of them hurry on, but some of them come and sit at the edges, which is extremely gratifying. Everyone Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve talked to has been very supportive of the idea. Some have been cautious about the possible success, but everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been very supportive.

THE CURRENT: How do you feel about that response?

BK: Very, very chuffed. Very chuffed indeed. I wish I had a little bit more time to nurture discussion â&#x20AC;&#x201D; to nurture interest. But at the moment I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t.

THE CURRENT: Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s next for you as a storyteller?

BK: I will keep doing these performances. I have a couple of sets lined up and then I hope to have made enough connections with other people to get them to come up and tell their stories.

Benâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s next public performance will be at 7 p.m. on Dec. 3 at an undetermined location. He will also be performing in the play â&#x20AC;&#x153;The ButterďŹ&#x201A;y of Constantinople,â&#x20AC;? which will be running this February.

Visit his website www.benkemperstoryteller.com for recordings and more information. rafi.letzter@gmail.com â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Rafi Letzter

flight, as the entire plane is staring me down for making them late, I tried to relax and focus on all the fun I would have once I arrived. When I finally debarked the aircraft, nerves on edge, generally pissed off and highly emotionally unstable, I walked through the security checkpoint and started scanning the crowd, looking for my family. Everybody was being greeted, hugged and led off to their happy and perfect lives, while I was left standing alone.

Nobody remembered to pick me up.

Apparently, so they say, there was a miscommunication about who was going to pick me up, back from college for the first time, alone and distraught, from the airport. Needless to say, it was not the welcome home I had hoped for. And that was my worst departure from NU moment. â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Alyssa Clough

All hail the queen! Communications Senior and homecoming queen Janna Kaplan stepped away from her royal duties just long enough to talk to us about her love for Beyonceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Love on Topâ&#x20AC;? and Remember the Titans.

Excerpts: T HE C URRENT : What are you listening to these days? Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s number one on your top 25 most played list?

Janna Kaplan: In spite of being on Mayfest and A&O, I have horrible taste in music.

But Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m listening to, like everyone else, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Love on Topâ&#x20AC;? by Beyonce on repeat. Not to say that Beyonce is bad, I just wanted to preface with that. Number one on my top 25 most played? Wow, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve never even looked at that. If I had to guess, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d say â&#x20AC;&#x153;Party at a Rich Dudeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Houseâ&#x20AC;? by Ke$ha.

A royally quirky production by the Jewish Theatre Ensemble

Long live the king?: Will Sonheim as King Berenger the First contemplates death. Photo by Maggie Gorman

Death canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be avoided, but it can be ignored. â&#x20AC;&#x153;In Exit the King,â&#x20AC;? showing this weekend in Shanley, it is exactly that cheery topic that is thrown into a whimsical spotlight, as it descends on a deteriorating kingdom ruled by dueling queens and a dying king who canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t ascend to the throne without throwing out his back. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s basically a comedy about death,â&#x20AC;? says Communication senior and director Samantha Beach. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The comedy is in this tug of war between the people trying to get him ready to die and the one queen who is still trying to hold onto him.â&#x20AC;?

The play centers on the ailing and elderly King Berenger the First, played

by Communication sophomore Will Sonheim, and his royal court as they try to push him from denial to acceptance of his imminent death. An absurdist play

by Eugene Ionesco, the story features a characteristic verbal whimsy and abstract, hard-to-follow or seemingly out-of-theblue statements and actions from caricature characters. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a big departure from the naturalistic drama that we see a lot on this campus,â&#x20AC;? says Beach, â&#x20AC;&#x153;but I think weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re ready for something different. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re ready to laugh and to hear what I think is a really beautiful story.â&#x20AC;?

Despite its quirks, the team is confident

Apply now for this popular writing course for students interested in civic engagement, offered by the Center for Writing Arts:

WRITING 303-0-21 7KH $UW RI 1RQÂżFWLRQ

Exploring Writing for Social Change :LQWHU 4XDUWHU 77K S P .UHVJH +DOO

T HE C URRENT : Favorite TV shows right now?

JK: Parks and Recreation recently pulled to the top of my list and when I get a chance to watch HBO, Boardwalk Empire is definitely up there.

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T HE C URRENT : Have you seen any movies lately? What are your favorites?

JK: I just saw Drive, which was really good with a great sound track, but way bloodier than expected. A favorite current movie is Lion King, which I also just saw in theaters.

I also love Love Actually and Remember the Titans.

In partnership with the Center for Civic Engagement, the Center for the Writing Arts is offering a course in Winter Quarter 2011-12 titled ³7KH $UW RI 1RQ¿FWLRQ ([SORULQJ :ULWLQJ IRU 6RFLDO &KDQJH ´ This course is intended especially for students with recent experience in service and community engagement. Students interested in writing who wish to link their interest more fully to civic engagement are also invited to apply.

T HE C URRENT : Are you reading anything interesting lately? What are your favorite books?

JK: I was dreading this question because Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m really embarrassed at how little I get to read here. Other than Harry Potter, Cider House Rules is another one of my favorites.

Students in this course will work together to explore the uses of writing WR UHĂ&#x20AC;HFW DQDO\WLFDOO\ DQG LPDJLQDWLYHO\ RQ SHUVRQDO H[SHULHQFH DV ZHOO to inform, persuade, and engage readers. Each student will also have the opportunity to develop plans for a sustained writing project based on individual interests and goals.

THE CURRENT : What are the biggest timeburners for you on the internet?

JK: Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m like not that cool. I love Twitter because 140 characters is what I have time to read. I hate Facebook, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s on the downhill. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not cool, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t go on Reddit or anything like that.

www.engage.northwestern.edu/writing

clarkehumphrey2014@u.northwestern.edu

5

EXIT THE KING

BEN KEMPER

photo by: Susan Du

THE CURRENT profiles

Thursday, October 27, 2011

6WXGHQWV LQWHUHVWHG LQ HQUROOLQJ LQ WKLV FRXUVH VKRXOG FRPSOHWH a brief application SRVWHG RQ WKH &&( ZHEVLWH QR ODWHU WKDQ Friday, November 4.

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that audiences wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t feel too disoriented by the tangled dialogue. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a good play for audiences that maybe arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t too familiar with theatre, but familiar enough to want to watch a play,â&#x20AC;? says Communication sophomore and producer Matt Moynihan, in his first producing role at Northwestern. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s slapstick and fun. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an entertaining show.â&#x20AC;?

While Beach has directed outside of NU in the past, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Exit the Kingâ&#x20AC;? marks her directorial debut here on campus. â&#x20AC;&#x153;In my senior year, I wanted to do something unlike anything Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d ever worked on before,â&#x20AC;? says Beach. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It was something I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t confident Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d do well on, but I felt free to take risks and this really appealed to me.â&#x20AC;?

Steeped with improv veterans, the showâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cast is instrumental in creating a perfectly orchestrated wackiness. But unlike the candid lightheartedness of improvisation, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Exit the Kingâ&#x20AC;? calls for fully dimensional characters who are equally heartbreaking and humorous. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a subject that would traditionally be a tragedy, but the comedy is like a vessel to look at something honestly instead of just falling into something melodramatic and making death really sentimental,â&#x20AC;? says Sonheim.

While the Kingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s decline can be in turn hilarious and hard to watch, equally

captivating is the dynamic between his two rival queens, Marie and Margeurite. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Marie is the second wife to the king, but first in his heart,â&#x20AC;? says Communication sophomore Lindsey Chambers, who plays Marie. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Her outlook is very childish and naĂŻve, but thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s something to be said for that joy and just letting yourself be dazzled by everything thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s happening in the moment.â&#x20AC;?

Marguerite, her nemesis, is in cahoots with the Doctor (played by Will Wilhelm) to force the king into acceptance of death. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been so challenging and rewarding to play this character,â&#x20AC;? says Communication junior Emily Olcott, who plays Marguerite. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Although sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s older and no-nonsense, she has a lot of fight in her and a lot of humanity.â&#x20AC;?

The ensemble as a whole illuminates with deft comedic sensibilities a topic most are content to ignore. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s so important in college to think about legacy and how youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re spending your time,â&#x20AC;? says Beach. â&#x20AC;&#x153;This story really speaks to that, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also a lot of fun.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Exit the Kingâ&#x20AC;? is sponsored by the Jewish Theatre Ensemble with showings in Shanley Pavilion at 8 p.m. today, 8 p.m. and 11 p.m. Friday, and 2 p.m. and 8 p.m.

Saturday. â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Maggie Gorman

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Mise en scène

6

THE CURRENT self Ally Wieremaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s guide to stealing the look No time to figure out a costume for Halloween weekend?

Check out this list of some of my favorite fashion forward films and costume ideas inspired by them. The best part is that everything you need is right in your closet!

Forrest Gump: Throw on some khakis and button your plaid shirt all the way up. Then, buy yourself a box of chocolates and get ready to run dressed as everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favorite simpleminded guy.

The Royal Tenenbaums: Girls, get your faux-fur jackets and dark eyeliner on to channel Margot. And guys, all you need is an athletic sweatsuit to be Chas. This is also a great film to check out if you want costume ideas for a group.

Heathers: Try dressing up as Hollywoodâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s original mean girls. For a Heathers inspired costume, all you need is a blazer, blouse, high-waisted skirt and loafers. Shoulder pads and primary colors are a plus.

Pulp Fiction: Mia Wallaceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s classic look is easy-- black crop pants, white blouse, and black loafers. Black bob wig and drug problem optional.

Almost Famous: Penny Lane inspired bell bottoms, flowy tops and fur vests for the ladies, and t-shirts, patterned button downs, leather jackets and sunglasses for the guys. Keep it simple to keep it groovy.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Sex talk with Felicity Amethyst

WHAT THE F#%KSAW ?!

Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no way in hell you havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seen that scene from When Harry Met Sally when Meg Ryan fakes an orgasm in the diner. The part when sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just sitting there, eating her pie, when Billy Crystal tells her women couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have faked orgasms with him because he would have been able to tell. She calls bullshit and belts out the best sexplosion, rubbing her neck and throwing her head back â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the whole nine yards â&#x20AC;&#x201D; leaving him stunned that a fake could sound and look so authentic.

Women faking orgasms is no new thing. Statistics vary according to study, but just about all of them report that roughly three-quarters of women have faked it in their current relationships. And guess what, folks? Men do it, too. According to a study done at

My guyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s little solider, is a little too little, if you know what I mean. Is there anything special he can do to make me orgasm?

The average erect penis is about 6 inches in length, according to AskMen.com. However, it turns out that width matters most.

If your guy is a little short, but can get wide enough when the time comes, there is still hope.

Before you start having sex, make sure that you are totally ready to go. With a guy who is less endowed, you really want to focus on foreplay. Let him know what you like and be specific. Also, make sure he focuses on your clitoris before sex, whether heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s stimulating it with his mouth or his hands.

During sex, try sticking to these three

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Temple University, 26 percent of sexually active men have faked the big O. Well, faking it is probably the dumbest thing you could do in bed/ against a wall/in the shower/in a library study room. It might even be worse than leaving your socks on after getting naked. Why, you ask?

Oh, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know, maybe because your partner will never learn to give you orgasmic pleasure. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll never get to learn about what makes your eyes roll back in your head or toes curl up, and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll never get to come!

I know it can be difficult not to fake it, especially when your partner has been fiddling around with your genitals for an hour and thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no sign of getting there. But, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m telling you, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got to resist. Remember when your little brother said that kind

THE BIRDS & THE BEES

by emma lehmann extended pleasure

THE BIRDS & THE BEES

by emma lehmann extended pleasure

positions, which AskMen.com describes as effective: 1) Doggie-style: Place your head and shoulders on a pillow, with your butt in the air, legs together and back arched. If your guy leans forward during the act, this will allow him to enter as deeply as possible.

of funny thing one time and you and your friends laughed, and then he said it a thousand more times, expecting and waiting for your laughter and approval? Well, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s because people respond to positive reinforcement, and your partner will respond to your fake orgasm by continuing to ride your dick way too slow or licking that part of your snatch that is definitely not your clit. Because of your performance, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have the wrong idea of what gets you off and then you will be thinking to yourself, â&#x20AC;&#x153;damn, I should have listened to Felicity.â&#x20AC;?

So donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t fake it. Lying isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t okay in your day-to-day relationships, and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not okay in your hookups, either.

Get laid, Wildcats. And be authentic about it. whatthef.cksaw@gmail.com

2) The snake: Lay on your stomach with a pillow under your hips and legs together.

Have your guy straddle your hips while on his knees and slip his johnson in from behind. If he needs to brace his weight against something, have him bend over and put his hands on the bed or wall.

3) The V-formation: Lay down on your back and have your guy on his knees, facing toward you. Raise your legs to rest on his shoulders and move them outward into a wide V position. This will allow your guy to thrust deeply and also give him access to your clitoris. Placing a pillow under your butt will give you a better angle for G-spot stimulation as well.

Emma is a sexual health reporter and a Medill sophomore. Send her your sex questions at nusexquestions@gmail.com.

Hey, 2012: Sign up for your

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PORTRAIT!

Sittings take place IN NORRIS for a limited time, starting Tuesday. November 1st!

Choose the day & time that works best for you:

Log on to www.OurYear.com Enter NU School Code: 87150 Questions about the NU yearbook?

Visit www.NUSyllabus.com or email syllabus@northwestern.edu Photographers will be in Norris for a limited time. Several poses will be taken â&#x20AC;&#x201C; in your own clothes and with cap and gown. Your choice will be available for purchase. All senior portraits must be taken by Herff Jones. $10 sitting fee is required at the time of your sitting.

THE CURRENT weekend

Thursday, October 27, 2011

diversions and excursions adventures in evanston and chicago Evanston

Event: Fall Fest at the Farmer’s Market Where: University Place at Oak Avenue When: Saturday, Oct. 9 from 7:30 a.m.-1 p.m.

Come welcome autumn at the Downtown Evanston Farmer’s Market this Saturday! Bring your friends to paint complementary pumpkins and collect goodie bags. While you’re celebrating, you should also browse the delicious farmers market. Guess the weight of the Jack and Jill pumpkins and take them home to your doorstep for free!

Chicago

Event: Chicago Avenue Halloween Bar Crawl Where: 1924 W. Chicago Ave. (East Village/ Ukrainian Village) When: Saturday, Oct. 29 from 8 p.m.-3 a.m.

Celebrate Halloween this weekend in Chicago! Wear your costume and crawl from Roots Handmade Pizza (10 p.m.) to High Dive (11:30 p.m.) to Cleo’s (12:30 a.m.). These three neighborhood bars feature a costume contest with $100 cash prize and a raffle for $100 in cash at each stop. The Chicago Avenue Halloween Bar Crawl is one event you don’t want to miss!

’round here

this weekend on campus What: Project ScArE: Carnival of Carnage Where: SAE Chapter House, 2325 Sheridan Rd. When: Thursday, Oct. 27 through Saturday, Oct. 29 from 8 p.m.-2 a.m.

Get ready to kick off Halloween with a visit to a thrilling haunted house! Project ScArE, run by the members of Alpha Phi and Sigma Alpha Epsilon, is the place to be. Entrance costs $5 per person and the proceeds will go to LIFT-Evanston. You’re definitely in for an unforgettable night full of fear at SAE and A Phi’s Carnival of Carnage!

What: Phright Night 2011!

Where: The Barn When: Thursday, Oct. 27 from 9 p.m.-12 a.m.

Join Phi Delta Theta this Thursday for their annual Halloween Party!

Dress up in your Halloween costume and dance the night away at The Barn in Indiana with your friends and 600-700 other college students.

What: AEPi Presents: The Third Annual AEPoker Tournament Where: Hotel Orrington – 9th Floor When: Saturday, Oct. 29 from 6:30-10:30 p.m.

This Saturday, take a chance and participate in Alpha Epsilon Pi’s charity poker tournament! Whether you’re an experienced card player or not, you never know how things are going to turn out — it could be your lucky night! Prizes include a free night at the hotel and gift cards. The proceeds from the night go to Keshet. Don’t forget to get your poker face on!

-Michelle Neider

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THE CURRENT odds & ends

Thursday, October 27, 2011

THE RUNDOWN

stalking celebrities so you don’t have to

THE GOLD ST R CHART Pop culture victories with Ashley Fetters

THE WEEK THAT WAS

President Obama has been saying a lot of things lately, with varying degrees of approval among the fabled 99 percent. Here’s one Obama-ism we totally endorse, though: This week, the President told Jay Leno on “The Tonight Show” that “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” is prohibited in the White House. “I have not seen the show,” he said, and told Leno that his daughters Sasha and Malia aren’t allowed to tune in either. No televised at-home Brazilian waxes in the Green Room? We’ll back you up on that one, Commanderin-Chief.

Backstreet Boy Kevin Richardson announced plans this week to rejoin his reunited boy band on an upcoming cruise tour after a five-year hiatus. Richardson’s return is awesome in its own right for restoring the original lineup, but what’s even more impressive is that his announcement inadvertently caused headline writers’ brains to explode all over the globe. Kevin Richardson’s back ... all right?! Without Kevin, the BSB

the Backstreet Boys were ... incomplete?! The sheer number of wordplay possibilities was literally mind-blowing, and it seems a sweeping epidemic of mental short-circuitry among America’s pop-culture pundits ensued. But fear not: Reports show that Gawker is expected to be fully functional again by next Wednesday.

Hey pretty baby with the Adidas cleats on! Paris Jackson, daughter of the late King of Pop Michael Jackson, appears to have inherited some fancyfootwork genes from her famous dad — but on the field rather than the

Custom Costumes The Theater and Interpretation Center cleaned out the cobwebs in its closet to put on the annual costume sale just in time for Halloween. The twoday sale featured garments from Northwestern shows all priced under $10. Students who were looking for cheap costumes, or who simply had the desire to dress like the cast of “Brighton Beach Memoirs” or “The Jungalbook” were in heaven!

dance floor. Thirteen-year-old Paris is the first girl to join her school’s flag football team and reportedly makes one ferocious linebacker. Supportive brothers Prince and Blanket cheered her team to a dominant 32-6 victory over the weekend. Clearly, no Jackson wants to be defeated.

Former child actor (and inexplicable sudden quasi-hottie) Jonathan Lipnicki proved he’s all grown up now by spending his 21st birthday at Las Vegas’ swanky XS Nightclub with his family and friends ... plus, you know, a few jaw-dropping model friends, too. Casual. The onetime kiddie star, best known for his role as precocious, bespectacled Ray in 1997’s Jerry Maguire, reportedly made several stunning female friends on location. We’re betting the “After my dad died, my mom used to take me to the zoo” sob story still works pretty well, but a wild guess says that this time, those late-night conversations didn’t end abruptly with “My mom’s coming! I gotta go to bed!”

Don’t Reign on My Homecoming Parade On Friday night, students and alumni alike lined the sides of Sheridan waiting to be wowed by the floats in this year’s homecoming parade.

Students groups ranging from the Greek community to cyclists came out to participate in the parade led by Grand Marshal Seth Meyers, who was later spotted at his old stomping ground, Nevin’s Pub.

Gleek out CLASSY Sam’s back! Although Fox didn’t renew his contract, Chord OverShe’s real street (Sam) will be returning to JLo fled offstange during a “Glee” for episodes this winter, as recent concert after a dramatic confirmed by the show’s co-creator performance of her song “If Ryan Murphy. Fans are thrilled by You Had My Love” proved to the news, and have been preparing be too much for her. The rendifor the show’s return on Nov. 1 by tion included depictions of the playing the show’s music on repeat “American Idol” judge and each for the last three years. of her former lovers, causing her to burst into tears. Despire Department of rumors of a romance with hunky actor Bradley Cooper, the redundancy department Justin Bieber rented out a star’s recent breakup movie theatre for a date with CRAZY with hubby Marc Anthony girlfriend Selena Gomez over obviously still hurts … the weekend. Didn’t he just after all, she is still, is do this like a week ago? You still Jenny from the block. can’t blame the guy for trying – his biggest hit did come from Crank THAT, Soulja Boy singing the same word over and Rapper Soulja Boy was over (Baby, baby, baby…) arrested along with four other men last week after police He ain’t shia found a “substantial amount” Actor Shia LaBeouf brawled with of pot and guns in his car a man outside a bar in Vancouver during a traffic stop in Georgia. Sorry, Soulja, looks like last week, after the man allegedly punched LaBeouf in the head. WitYOUUUUUUUU got busted. nesses said they were unsure if there was a clear winner in the fight – everything looked pretty Even Stevens.

–Rachel Morello CREEPY

The Joke’s on NU The Second City blew in from Chicago for a three-day performance of The Second City Does Northwestern: Wildcat on a Hot Tin Roof. The famous comedy troupe created a whirlwind of laughs centered around NU traditions and inside jokes. They even hit on NU goggles, leaving the audience wondering if someone tipped them off, or if it’s just that noticeable.

Cha-Chaing for Change Some of NU’s hottest dance groups broke it down for charity on Wednesday night. Autism Speaks brought together groups from all across the dance world featuring Blast, Graffiti and A•NU•Bhav, just to name a few. Admission was $5 and all proceeds went to Autism Speaks.

-Allison Lasher

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SENIOR PORTRAIT! +1 847.425.5158 Sittings take place IN NORRIS – FOR A LIMITED TIME – STARTING TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 1st. www.gigibottega.comEnter NU School Code: 87150

To schedule a day and time, LOG ON TO www.OurYear.com

don't forget www.gigibottega.com

Questions? Visit the yearbook website: www.NUSyllabus.com

Several poses will be taken & your choice will be available for purchase. All senior portraits must be taken by Herff Jones and require a $10 fee at the time of your sitting.