The Other Side February 2024

the OTHER S I D E

feb 2024

Youth in Care auggie feature

What do you want to be/do/accomplish when you “grow up”?

I want to be an NFL player

If you had to describe yourself in 3 words, what would they be?

Cool, fun, and caring What is something you have accomplished that made you proud of yourself?

Making it onto a baseball team

Who is the most influential or positive person in your life?

My foster parent Mike

What are your favorite interests or hobbies?

Football, auto racing, R/C carts, and playing the clarinet If you had to describe yourself as an animal, what would you choose and why?

A tiger because they are ferocious If you had the chance to provide advice or encouragement to other youth in care, what would you say to them?

Never give up home of what your dreams are

If you would like to be featured in February’s edition of The Other Side, please reach out to us via our email address and we will be in touch!

craft You need: • Construction paper • Stapler (or tape) • Ribbon • Scissors your 1 Cut construction

paper into for long strips.

the two open 2 Fold ends in to make a

heart and use your mini staple to staple shut. Repeat to make as many hearts as you’d like.

your hearts 3 Line up in a circle and

start stapling/ taping them to each other on the back side so the staple does not show in the front. a piece of 4 Staple ribbon (I used

construction paper) on two hearts across from each other as shown.

Youth Bill of Rights

As a youth in foster care in the state of Illinois, you have the right to achieve permanency and maintain lifelong connections. Permanency means you have the right to Permanent, lifelong connections.

Permanent connections are a family-like relationship, consistent with a child’s best interests, health, safety and well-being, that provides: safe, stable and committed parenting; unconditional love and lifelong support; and a permanent legal status between child and family.

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To stay connected with family and others with whom I have a close and nurturing relationship, including relationships developed during my time in care where there are no concerns of safety or risk to me in continuing such relationships: This mean you have the right to have and maintain a relationship with people you feel supported by as long as there is not a concern that the person will pose harm to you.

A permanent family where I feel a sense of belonging: This means you have the right to be a part of your forever family that fully accepts you as you are and that you are a full member of your family.

A safe, healthy, and comfortable home where I am treated with respect: This means you have the right to live in a home where you are comfortable physically and emotionally; where you are safe from harm, and have access to healthy food, exercise, brain, and emotional health resources. You have the right to be treated with respect in the home you live in.

To visit and contact my brothers and sisters, to be included in special and celebratory milestones of siblings (i.e. birthdays, holidays, graduations) and to have my siblings included in my special and celebratory milestones (unless prohibited by court order): You have the right to maintain your relationship with siblings, to visit them regularly, be able to celebrate with them, and have phone and video conversations with them unless it is determined that this contact would be detrimental to your health or safety.

To review the brochure, CFS 1050-95, How to connect with your brothers and sisters, annually during caseworker contact. If you have not seen this brochure, please ask your Family Worker to bring one to your next home visit to review with you.

To be supported in connecting or reconnecting with family when there are no safety threats presented to me in having such contact: You have the right to have support and assistance in locating family members you feel supported by as long as it has not been determined to be harmful to your health or safety. CYFS has Family Finding Resource Specialists to assist you with locating and reaching out to these family members. Talk to your Family Worker for a referral.

To be supported in locating and connecting with individuals who may be part of my past and could support my permanency success now or in my future: You have the right to have support and assistance in locating individuals (former neighbors, teachers, coaches, etc.) you feel supported by as long as it has not been determined to be harmful to your health or safety. CYFS has Family Finding Resource Specialists to assist you with locating and reaching out to these family members. Talk to your Family Worker for a referral.

To emancipate from care if no other permanency path is possible and to exit care not only prepared for adult life, but also connected to individuals including family and non-related people who will be there for me in times of need: You have the right to remain in foster care until the age of 21 with a goal of Independence if all other permanency options have been ruled out. While in care with a goal of Independence, you have the right to learn skills and resources to prepare you for adulthood. You also have the right to be connected to and maintain connections with people you feel supported by.

jess bennett

Educational and Life Skills Service Coordinator

My role as the Educational and Life Skills Service Coordinator is to help support you and the members of your team as you navigate the child welfare system while balancing just being a human who is trying to grow and flourish in life. My hope is that you will have the opportunity to gain experience, skills, and resources to develop into a healthy and happy adult. It can be difficult and messy working your way through a system you did not choose to be involved in. It is crucial for your voice to be heard and listened to during this process.

I am available to assist with all things school related: school enrollment, problem solving meetings, requesting and advocating for extra support to help you succeed academically, ensuring you are in an academic setting that best meets your learning needs. I can also help you plan for college. There are programs available to help you afford a college education or vocational training.

We can set up a Youth Driven Transition Planning meeting with your Family Worker and other supportive people to plan various action steps to help you meet the goals YOU would like to focus on. I can help you and your team know and access the resources available to help with employment, housing, and education.

Our goal is for you to become the adult you want to be. We hope you will have a job you love that pays well, stable housing, and knowledge of where and how to access the resources in your community. We are working on identifying Older Youth Liaisons (OYL) in each office to better support our older youth and the folks who work with them. Stay tuned in future editions of The Otherside to find out who your OYL is and how to contact them.

book recommendations

Find these books at your local library! Let us know what you enjoyed about them!

What Does Dating Abuse Look Like?

Teens and young adults experience the same types of abuse as adults, including: • Physical Abuse: Any intentional use of physical force with the intent to cause fear or injury, like hitting, shoving, biting, strangling, kicking or using a weapon.

• Verbal or Emotional Abuse: Non-physical behaviors such as threats, insults, constant monitoring, humiliation, intimidation, isolation or stalking.

• Sexual Abuse: Any action that impacts a person’s ability to control their sexual activity or the circumstances in which sexual activity occurs, including rape, coercion or restricting access to birth control.

• Digital Abuse: Use of technologies and/or social media networking to intimidate, harass or threaten a current or ex-dating partner such as demanding passwords, checking cell phones, cyberbullying, nonconsensual sexting, excessive or threatening texts or stalking on social media.

• Stalking: Being repeatedly watched, followed, monitored or harassed. Stalking can occur online or in person, and may or may not include giving unwanted gifts.

• Financial Abuse: Exerting power and control over a partner through their finances, including taking or withholding money from a partner, or prohibiting a partner from earning, or spending their money.

• Gaslighting: Making someone believe they could be losing touch with reality as a way to manipulate them.

Gaslighting can take the following forms:

Examples Of Abuse

Wondering what the forms of abuse look like in relationships? Here are a few examples: • Amber wants to say hi to Chris, but Tommy, her boyfriend, won’t let her. When Amber laughs off the jealousy, Tommy, whose hand she is holding, squeezes her hand – hard. Amber tells Tommy to stop because he is hurting her and Tommy responds, “Then maybe you should listen when I tell you something.” This is physical abuse.

• Monica and Tina broke up last week, and Tina isn’t taking it too well. She starts publically posting the private pictures Monica sent her while away at 4-H camp because she wants Monica to hurt as much as she does. This is digital abuse.

What to do if you feel you are experiencing teen dating violence. Tell someone you trust. Your family worker is available to support you through this and connect you to resources. If you aren’t comfortable talking to someone you know, love is respect advocates are available 24/7 and offers confidential support for teens, young adults, and their loved ones seeking help, resources, or information related to healthy relationships and dating abuse in the US. You can contact an advocate by text (“LOVEIS” to 22522), call (866.331.9474), or live chat online. https://www.loveisrespect.org/ If you have ideas, questions or topics you would like to see covered in our upcoming editions, please submit them to our email box at TheOtherSide@cyfsolutions.org.