2015 CVWW February

FEBRUARY 2014

THE Lifestyle Magazine for Custom Vehicle & Music Enthusiasts

ALWAYS FREE

John Barry

The NAMM SHOW

CYANIDE

In this issue, we begin our annual coverage of the biggest music equipment, innovation, and instrument event in the world. This month it’s an introduction and product highlights, as well as “through the eyes” perspectives. p. 12

You seen them...well, everywhere around Vegas, one of the biggest and best of Sin City graces our pages.

Frontman Rob Hussey takes time from his anthem of sex drugs & rock-n-roll to talk seriously about their journey. p. 4

Off the Beaten Path with HANG MASSIVE: Leaders of a social revolution through music a movement of social change and human empowerment… p. 24

Contents...

CYANIDE CD Release!

3

NAMM NAMM Product:: AirTurn PED

13

NAMM Product:: BC Rich Mockingbird Guitars

14

NAMM Product: DUBS Acoustic Filters

15

News You Can Use - Cars: Warm Up the Dang Car!

16

Order in the Chaos: Brien DeChristopher’s Music Blog

22

Gear the Pros Use: Marc Andrews of CYANIDE

31

News You Can Use - Motorcycle: Insane Things...

36

Gear the Pros Use: Ryan Gillan of CYANIDE

39

Tattoo Gallery...Motorcycle Tattoos

40

Jamie Paullus Jamie Paullus and his NAMM meanderings; going walkabout through the convention floor, we see things through his lens - also, Wayne Static memorial Show at the Whiskey.

Page 32

Sherry Keith Mystic Photography, out and about as always, shoots a double barreled collage of shows: Vegas with KIX & Vixen.

Page 18

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Cyanide is here to bring back the glory days of heavy metal...to party like it's 1987, for fans of Motley Crue, Van Halen, Def Leppard, Kiss, Ratt and Guns 'N Roses, among other legendary heavyweights. Their 11 song debut album “Lethal Dose” is full of high octane, sex, drugs and rock 'n roll fueled tracks.

From the up tempo opener „Bitches to Blame‟ to sleazy album-closer „Whole 'Lotta Trouble‟ (dedicated to the legendary Sherri's Ranch in Pahrump, Nevada), this album brings back the spirit and attitude of classics like „Too Fast for Love‟, „High 'N Dry‟, „Out of the Cellar‟ and „Appetite for Destruction‟.

Vocalist Rob Hussey, Guitarist Marc Andrews, Bassist David Karr, Drummer Ryan Gillan, and on live backup vocals Miranda Trenholm, have created a timeless hard rock album that has been sorely missing in this world of computerized auto tune drivel. Tracks like „Drinkin'„, „Pump it to Me‟ (featuring John Zito of Count's 77 on slide guitar), „Lookin' for a Good Time‟, first single „What Comes Around Goes Around‟ and the classic power ballad „It's a Long Road‟ prove this band has what it takes to take 80's hard rock into the next generation.

Cyanide has wowed audiences with its original songs as well as spot on covers while opening for such legends as Skid Row, Stephen Pearcy of RATT, Bulletboys, Black 'N Blue, Tuff, Femme Fatale, Cheap Thrill and more. Now with the release of “Lethal Dose”, the band is poised to take the next stop from local phenom to national sensation.

Like Cyanide on Facebook at www.facebook.com/cyanidelv and visit their official site at www.cyanideband.com to download the first single, What Comes Around Goes Around free! Lethal Dose was released worldwide on January 27th and Cyanide held a CD release party bash at Count's Vamp'd in Las Vegas, Saturday January 31st, 2015.

Loud.

Raw. In your face.

Definitely NOT subtle, with pounding drums, body shaking bass, and screaming guitars...only slightly dangerous…

CYANIDE has been rocking venues in Vegas for years - first with a solid set of near perfect cover songs - now with a full length album of originals designed to bring back the days of yore, the 80’s attitude of partying rock n roll.

It’s a vice you can’t quit, that salacious itch you just HAVE to scratch.

Frontman Rob Hussey, always up for a good conversation about music, beer, beautiful women, and rock-n-roll, spends some quality time with the Pres; I’m just a little dirtier for it, but that’s a good thing...

(CVWW) Who is in the band and find the right members. We had 3 allowed us to keep going without what are their roles? other drummers, 1 other bass losing momentum. Miranda player, at one time we had 2 lead helped us big time when we were Rob Hussey - Vocals, guitarists, and there was also a in need of backing vocals and we Marc Andrews - Guitar different backup vocalist. Finding were in a tight spot. All 3 of their David Karr - Bass the right drummer was tough. I transitions were really seamless.

Ryan Gillan - Drums grew up playing drums and I tend But we do need to thank original Miranda Trenholm - Live Backto be a perfectionist when it bassist Michael ―Animal‖ Fening Vocals comes to that. Ryan had a few nichia, guitarist Leonard Davila, other musical projects going on, original drummer Mike Mitlyng (CVWW) Talk about the coming so getting him on board took a and subsequent drummers Sandro together of Cyanide. What sort while. We were lucky he became Brasi and Tony Kula. Those guys of journey did you undertake to available and joined us full time. helped us start this, and Sandro assemble this team of musiDavid was the first guy we tried and Tony helped to keep it going, cians…? out after our first bassist left, and as we searched for the lineup with <Rob Hussey> This team came he has been a blessing as well. the right chemistry. I also want to together after a long struggle to They both stepped right in and thank our old backup vocalist

Cameren Marie, who was a big help when she was with us.

<Rob> I thought of the name Cy- you were younger? anide back in 1986. No band I <Rob> I used to spin my dad‘s was in was ever interested in us- Beatles records at the age of 3.

(CVWW) What do you think it ing it. I was always a drummer KISS changed my life at the age is about the group that works so with very little input in the bands of 6. In 1982-83, when Crue, LepI was in, for the most part. When pard, Maiden and Priest exploded well? big time in the states, metal com<Rob> We‘re all committed and Marc and I started recording, I suggested Cyanide and he liked pletely took over my life and nevhell bent on succeeding in this it, so it stuck. er left. I have been playing drums band. We get along great as since the age of 7. I always wantfriends. There is zero drama in (CVWW) When you started, did ed to sing, but for some reason I this band. Everyone does their you primarily do covers?

What was afraid to sing. In 2010, after I job and focuses on Cyanide as a unit, rather than individual acco- led to the decision to put out orig- graduated from college I went for it and started the Maiden tribute, lades. We have fun together and inal music? ―Children of the Damned,‖ and we all put Cyanide ahead of our <Rob> Our early shows were, other musical interests. maybe 11 covers and 3 originals. now Cyanide is my full time focus. We still play ―Children of It was not long before we were the Damned‖ a few times a year.

(CVWW) Did you have any par- doing 90 minute shows, 11 coSo there has never been anything vers, and 7 originals. Then an ticular goals when you started even split. Now that the album is else besides Heavy Metal that inthis band? terested me. <Rob> Funny thing is, Marc and coming out we are doing all 11 originals and as many covers as I had an Iron Maiden tribute (CVWW) You were there in othcalled ―Children of the Damned.‖ we have time for, depending on We had no plans to play original set length. The audience dictated er bands in Vegas, right? What was your experience with them? adding more originals. Usually music. We were at his house people go outside when you play How did it help in your current working on Maiden tunes, and songs they don‘t know. We were performance? we ended showing each other songs each of us had written. And getting great reaction to the origi- <Rob> When it comes to pernals, so we kept adding more. forming, I look at my heroes; they just seemed destined to go Bruce Dickinson, Todd La Torre, together. So with little thought (CVWW) Have you always who has become a huge influence we started recording an album, just for us, with no intention of it wanted to play music, or did you after seeing him on the recent Queensryche tour, Steven Tyler, being a band. It was coming out have any other interests when so good; we thought it will be a crime if we do not play this live.

Marc was playing guitars and bass, I was singing and playing drums, and we just recorded that way until we decided it needs to be a band. From there the goal was really to get out there and have fun. With the kind of music we are making, we had no idea people were going to dig it so much. It was just for our own enjoyment.

(CVWW) Is there any exceptional story behind the name?

Alicia Dupuy

Klaus Meine and Dee Snider, is it about Cyanide that helps singers who really bring it live you land these sweet gigs? and never disappoint with their <Rob> I think the quality of muvocals. There are certain techsic and songwriting is on a level niques for good performance. playing field with bands we have They are do not drink or smoke opened for like Skid Row, Stebefore a show. Stay hydrated phen Pearcy, Black ‗N Blue, Bul(water I mean!), rest leading up let Boys and others. I think the to a show, don‘t talk too much audience appreciates that and before the show. Have hot, decaf- that is why we always have a nice feinated tea with honey and lem- crowd when we open for our heon. These things can really help roes. you sing a lot better.

(CVWW) Who do you count as your musical influences?

(CVWW) What other bands have you played in over the years?

<Rob> Kiss, Motley Crue, Iron <Rob> Dirty McNasty, D‘Toxx, Maiden, Queensryche, Judas Angel Park, Bloodshot, Aces Priest, AC/DC, Black Sabbath, High, Outta the Black, Children Van Halen, Def Leppard, Anof the Damned Iron Maiden tribthrax, Metallica, Pantera, Scorpi- ute, which is still active. ons, Ratt, Vicious Rumors, Static Marc was in Roadies Nightmare, X, Testament, Annihilator, Sav- First Offense and Inn of Chaos atage, Lita Ford, Warlock, back in Cleveland, as well as a W.A.S.P., White/Rob Zombie, few Journey tribute bands, and a The Black Crowes etc… Oh! This Def Leppard tribute band. list can go on for days!

David was in Shine Ola. Ryan still jams with his AC/DC (CVWW) You have played with production show, High Voltage. some heavy hitters, right? What Miranda sings in Mr. Scary.

Len Czyzniejewski

(CVWW) What all things have you learned on the course of time? <Rob> We learned how to get along, treat people with respect, and to consider each member as a part of the process. I think it is important to find the right lineup and stay together for the long haul. Besides that we have learned how to interact with other bands. In this field there is a lot of backstabbing. I do not waste my time with all this. If all the bands help each other‘s by liking others posts on FaceBook and sharing each other‘s events, we can go a lot further.

(CVWW) What lesson or advice would you give to a younger version of yourself ?

Len Czyzniejewski

<Rob> I would go back and force myself to sing from the beginning. That was what I really wanted to do and I did not do it.

And I would not join any bands that do not have my music tastes.

I compromised a lot. I never got any results out of these sacrifices until I started doing what I truly

the corporate music world.

upturn in tourist crowd and there are 3 or 4 stages down there with (CVWW) Do you find too many bands rocking for the out-of-town “external distractions” pull peo- people and some locals. So in ple away from the quality music that world it goes hand in hand.

And when the band is great, the in the city? crowd stays and rocks with them, <Rob> I think the true music fans always have a way of finding so you have to be good at what what they like and going out and you are doing. That is why you have to play the most popular coexperiencing it. For some folks music will not be very important vers. But at a rock club away from the strip, you might have a or valuable. Also, on any given night in Vegas, there might be 10 crowd that wants to hear original awesome bands playing different music and more obscure covers. venues at the same time. So the (CVWW) What do you hope to choice must be tough for music accomplish with your music, lovers.

Trish Kerr

believe in.

what message do you try to con(CVWW) Is there any additional vey? “pressure” to pack them in, to <Rob> The Cyanide album was take attention away from the created to party in 1987. It has tourist scene? What is your opin- Sex, Booze and Heavy Metal for ion? fans of Crue, Kiss, Leppard, VH,

<Rob> There will be pressure if nobody comes to see your band (CVWW) Can you tell about the and you will not be playing in music scene in Vegas? I have that venue very long. I think heard that there are a lot of tal- there are two different scenes. So ented bands, how does competi- I do not think the pressure is nection for local shows mesh with essarily to take attention away from the tourist scene. For examthe tourist industry there? ple on Fremont St.; there is an <Rob> If you are looking to be involved in the tourist industry side of Vegas like casinos, Fremont St. Experience etc. then you have to play all covers and the most well-known popular songs. There is a ton of great bands here doing that, like Arena, and having great success with it. The competition is fierce.

What we are doing is different from that world. There is a long list of great bands waiting for those spots to open up. So while we were waiting, we made this album. Who knows, maybe it will blow up and change what bands are allowed to do in John Barry

Ratt and more. Like Nikki Sixx once said, ―We are intellectuals on a crotch level‖. We are not trying to change the world, or complain about the government.

We are trying to have a few cocktails, get naked and play some Heavy Metal. As far as accomplishing something, I love this

icant other and let the good times happen. ―Drinkin‘‖ is about a night of boozin‘ that starts at 5pm with a trip to the liquor store and ends at 10am the next morning sneaking out of some strange girl‘s house. This is not deep stuff but it means a lot to me.

(CVWW) Do you have a favorite place to play? <Rob> Count‘s Vamp‘d. Our home away from home. The place to be every Friday and Saturday night. The best rock club we have ever had in Las Vegas.

John Barry Can‘t thank Danny and Korie because it put Heavy Metal back made it new again. Of course you Koker, Danny Gentile and the in the mainstream. Like a ―Too hear the influences in there. That entire Vamp‘d staff enough for Fast for Love, an Out of the Cel- is not something that I am going having us and supporting us. This whole album is really dedicated lar, and an Appetite for Destruc- to try to hide from. We are not to Count‘s Vamp‘d, all the good tion…‖ Metal before the suits got claiming that we invented the times and shows we have had involved and watered everything wheel. We just built a new verthere. ―The Sunset Strip of the down. No pink clothes, ever. sion.

80‘s‖ lives on today at Count‘s (CVWW) Do any of your songs Vamp‘d.

(CVWW) What can fans expect

from your show? <Rob> Great original music.

Killer covers like ―Queen of the Ryche, 10 Seconds to Love, Mean Street, All We Are, Freewheel Burning, and Run to the Hills.‖ A night of heavy metal.

Leather and spikes. Breasts. Killer singing. Great musicianship.

No tracks.

speak to you on a deep personal level?

<Rob> ―What comes around goes around‖ is the classic story of someone leaving you for something better. Then they realize they were wrong. Then you tell them you wish you still cared. ―It (CVWW) Tell us about a memorable show, what made it great is a Long Road‖ is about how long of a road it is when two peo- for you? ple are in love and they just can‘t <Rob> Opening for Stephen Pearcy. Vinnie Paul was in the seem to get on the same page.

(CVWW) What is it about your The devastation of knowing it is crowd. Mr. Pearcy walked off the music that you feel appeals to stage and complimented me on gone and you cannot change it. fans? our original tunes. Then Vinnie ―Pump it to Me‖ is the new na<Rob> For me, it takes me back tional anthem for the Exotic Paul and his Hell Yeah! Bandto a time when I was fascinated Dancers association of America, mates go out of their way to tell with the newness of Heavy Met- which is very dear to me. ―Whole me they enjoyed the show and al. Albums like ―High ‗N Dry‖, ‗Lotta Trouble‖ is about a few could not wait to hear our album. ―Shout at the Devil‖, the first weekends spent at the legendary 2 of my heroes just watched our W.A.S.P. album were all the Sherri‘s Ranch in Pahrump, NV, band and liked it and said ―they rage. I think we have really cap- many years ago. ―Groovin‘‖ is feel that they do not have to say tured the essence and vibe of this one of those tunes you just lay anything‖. I will never forget sound without ripping it off and there listening to with your signif- that.

(CVWW) Have you ever had an to change the important things in hard it is to sell CD‘s. A lot of incident that made you think “is the first place. ―AC/DC‖ to me people out there are proud of the is a great example of never disap- fact that they steal all their music. this really all worth it”?

We are all trying to figure this <Rob> Going through the lineup pointing the fans. Give them changes in the beginning. Having what they want. The sound you out together. How this music to keep waiting for new members created has made them love you. business is going to evolve. It to learn the songs. Almost having So the motivation will be to make could eventually just go away ala second album as great as the together. When there are no my marriage end during the recording of the album. The never- old one that sounds like Cyanide. bands making new albums anymore, that would be a sad day for ending search for the right drumme. I love going to the record (CVWW) “Lethal Dose” just mer. All these were tough. store on release day and buying a came out. What are your thoughts about today’s music dis- new Motley Crue album, a new (CVWW) What motivates the Maiden or Priest album and a guys to keep improving, to keep tribution? Are platforms like new KISS album. When that is expanding your horizons as mu- iTunes and other better or worse no longer happening I am gonna for music? sicians and a band? be one bummed out guy. <Rob> So many other bands that <Rob> There are pros and cons to the whole music business in have made a great first album (CVWW) Tell us about the progeneral today. It was always like and then struggled to make ancess of recording and mixing a that and always will be. The realother one just as good. But I full album. Was it harder or easthink we are aware of the sound ity of today is how hard it is for a ier than you expected? How has we have created. Other bands try new band to get noticed. How

it changed over the years for you ing when to stop and say, this alas a musician?

<Rob> Marc and I recorded the- bum is done! If you know what se tracks at our houses using Cubase. Life got in the way and it you are doing took a long time. David came in and have talented friends it is when he joined and redid the cheaper to make bass parts. By the time Ryan joined, I had laid down the drum an album than it tracks a long time ago and there used to be. was no time or money to redo them. I am definitely looking for- (CVWW) What Len Czyzniejewski ward to Ryan‘s drumming on the is your impression about Social second album because he is a Media? Is it a worthwhile effort, KISS came out, John Denver was monster drummer. Jason Constantine mixed and mastered the necessary evil, or wasteful disthe #1 act in the world. When album at Constantine Studios.

Motley Crue came out, The traction?

He also saved the album cover Knack was all the rage. One <Rob> I love everything about photo session from ruin and did social media except the negativi- band, one album, can change all the graphic art in the CD ty. But I just ignore that. I do not everything. God bless the kids booklet. He made the album argue with people on the internet out there who are listening to and sound monstrous, like Bob Rock or bash other bands or any of that supporting Heavy Metal. had produced it. The best part of stuff. I like to keep it classy. It is a recording this way was being able worthwhile effort because it defi- (CVWW) Where do you see the to do things until they were right nitely increases the awareness of band in 3-5 years? without worrying about the your band. Interacting with peo- <Rob> Headlining stadiums clock. The hard part was know- ple who like your band and get- with Tuff, with 3 multi-platinum ting instant feedback feels pretty albums on the wall and another good too. on the way. Abusing substances.

Fighting with each other. Look(CVWW) What are your ing for a drummer… thoughts about the music indus- Bwhahahahaha just kidding. I try as a whole? Can good old just hope this same team is together, having fun, playing amazfashioned rock survive in the ing shows and making new muworld of Bieber, Cyrus, One (auto tuned) Direction, and oth- sic.

ers?

Trish Kerr

<Rob> The music business will (CVWW) What other bands do always exist in some form, even you guys listen to during downtime and relaxation, what is if it is just corporations pushing there on your music player? out electronic music made by computers…wait…that is already <Rob> I do still buy CD‘s. Then happening…Rock will always be I put them in my iPod. I like to there as long as there are parents have the physical copy. In recent exposing their kids to rock music. times I have worn out Crue‘s It might remain underground. It ―SOLA‖ album, ―Redeemer of can come back in a big way too. Souls‖ by Priest, ―ADKOT‖ by All it takes is one band to blow Van Halen, Steel Panther‘s ―Balls the doors off of everything. When Out‖ and ―All You Can Eat‖,

in Las Vegas.

(CVWW) Anything else exciting coming down the pike in 2015? <Rob> With any luck, a Cyanide ‗Lethal Dose‘ tour. More music videos from the album. Hopefully at least one of our members will inadvertently release a sex tape.

Writing new songs for the 2nd album. We have got the Doro gig in March and a pretty big event coming up in June.

(CVWW) Any final words you would like to convey to your fans? <Rob> Words can‘t express how much we appreciate all of you who have helped and supported Cyanide. We look forward to making several kickass Heavy Metal albums for your enjoyment in the coming years.

Alicia Dupuy

Anthrax‘ ―Worship Music‖ was (CVWW) Okay, "Lethal Dose" CYANIDE! great, ―Hail to the King‖ by has been released. What are your Avenged Sevenfold. I play a lot plans to support the album? Loof music on my device like, ―Monster‖ by KISS (I don‘t un- cal, regional or national?

CYANIDE FB <Rob> We have just completed derstand the negativity on that 3 promo videos which are availaone, great KISS album to me).

Loved ―Infestation‖ by Ratt. The ble on the Cyanide You Tube WATCH US! new AC/DC has been getting my page. We are going to make attention. ―Blind Rage‖ by Ac- probably 4 or 5 more music videos to support the album. We will cept was killer. Stryper ―No More Hell to Pay‖ was amazing. continue to play every show that And of course I still regularly lis- comes our way. We will be openten to the entire catalogs of Maid- ing for Doro Pesch on March 17th in Las Vegas. If the opportunity en, Crue, Ratt, Leppard, Priest and all of the other bands I men- to tour and play festivals presents tioned above. There is one weird itself, we will definitely take advantage of that. We will be adverthing that I do, I still listen to ―Music from The Elder‖ by Kiss tising and promoting the album on MetalSludge.tv and appearing fairly regularly. And one of my favorite albums of all time is the on the KOMP 92.3 Homegrown Show live in studio on January ―Motley Crue‖ ‘94 album with John Corabi. That is an amazing 25th. The CD release party is on January 31st at Count‘s Vamp‘d Alicia Dupuy album.

COVER STORY

THE 2015 NAMM SHOW AT THE ANAHEIM CONVENTION CENTER An Annual Global Gathering of the Music Products Industry THE NAMM SHOW – The National Association of Music Merchants (NAMM) presents the NAMM Show, an industry-only global music product trade show annually drawing nearly 100,000 music industry leaders to Anaheim.

The NAMM Show is the world's largest trade-only event for the music products industry. The show features 5,000+ music instrument, product and technology brands, including guitars, drums, pianos, synthesizers, band and orchestra instruments, pro audio equipment, DJ gear and more. Additional visual and reporting opportunities include day and evening concerts, interactive demos, artist appearances and onsite interview opportunities with industry leaders, speaking to industry trends and new products.

NAMM is a trade-only business show catering to domestic and international dealers and distributors. The product exhibits are an integral part of the show, allowing the dealers and distributors to see what's new, negotiate deals and plan their purchasing for the next 6 to 12 months: since its inception, NAMM has evolved from a national retail association into an international association whose members now include commercial companies, distributors, affiliates and manufacturers.

About NAMM Foundation The NAMM Foundation is a non-profit supported in part by the National Association of Music Merchants and its 9,200 members around the world. The NAMM Foundation works to advance active participation in music making across the lifespan by supporting scientific research, philanthropic giving and public service programs.

NAMM GEAR

AirTurn Introduces the AirTurn PED™ for Bluetooth Smart Devices AirTurn, the manufacturer of wireless, hands-free controllers for Bluetooth equipped tablets and computers, announced the AirTurn PED™, a low-profile foot-controlled page turner for music reading, set lists, scrolling lyrics or guitar tabs among many other applications.

AirTurn PED may also be used for hands-free teleprompting, slide presentations, instrument effects or media control. Configurations are also available for assistive technologies and common desktop document or presentations applications.

Pressing the right foot switch of the AirTurn PED will turn pages forward and a press on the left switch will turn pages backward. PED is ideal for users who need to keep both hands free while reading or controlling applications on their Bluetooth SMART READY devices including: · iPAD 3 and above · iPhone 5 and above · Most recent Samsung devices · Most PCs and Macs equipped with Bluetooth 4.0 AirTurn also can provide Bluetooth USB connectors to convert older PCs to Bluetooth 4.0.

“AirTurn designed the PED controller to be the most compact, easy to use, transport and connect to Bluetooth wireless devices,” said Dave Tamkin, a Chicago and now Boulder, Colorado acoustic singer/songwriter. “It can fit in my pocket and connect to my mobile devices in seconds,” he added. “Artists and other technology users are going to love how it simplifies their ability to play, present and perform.”

AirTurn PED features include:  Membrane touch switches for fast and quiet response  Mode Switch to change profiles for different uses.  Anti skid control on the base  Second spare battery included in battery compartment  Lithium ion battery lasting 6-12 months depending on usage  Signal lights to indicate low battery and Bluetooth connection status  Keyboard Switch for virtual keyboard access for some iOS applications

Founded in 2008 in Boulder, CO, AirTurn, Inc. develops tools to enhance presentation and performance. Musicians world-wide use AirTurn products to manage effects, back tracks, metronomes, and turn digital sheet music pages hands -free.

COVER STORY

The New B.C. Rich Mockingbird is A Marvel to Behold Today B.C. Rich unveils the new Mockingbird Contour and Contour X production models.

For years, one of the most in demand guitars from the B.C. Rich handcrafted shop has been the arch top Mockingbirds. In the past, the ability to duplicate the sleek and sultry details of the custom shop have been hard to reproduce on a factory floor but new technology and production methods bring the Contour to fruition. Although it is not the first production Mockingbird to have an arched top, it is the first to come anywhere close to what was being done in the handcrafted shop. Dubbed by insiders as the “sharp arch mock,” the steep contoured top creates a seductive appeal when combined with the even thinner and lighter body of the production pieces.

The Mockingbird Contour features a mahogany body with either a gloss black or gold top finish. Complementing the 25 5/8” mahogany set-neck is a 24 fret rosewood fretboard with a 12” radius, classic cloud inlays and the traditional B.C. Rich three on three headstock. The long-set neck design features a contoured all access neck joint normally only seen on neckthru designs.

Highlighting the new Contours are the new Hot-Hex B.C. Rich pickups. Sonically matched to the new design, the humbuckers are teamed up with neck and bridge volume controls, a master tone control and a 3-way pickup selector for sonic versatility. The stop tail piece, bridge, control knobs, strap buttons, and tuners are all finished in chrome.

The Contour X includes all the features of the Contour but adds a quilted maple top. Available in either a gloss natural or translucent red, the transparent finished combined with figured top create an elegant energy.

Originally released in 1976, the B.C. Rich Mockingbird is ranked “The Coolest Guitar of All Time” as voted by the readers of Guitar World magazine.

NAMM GEAR

Quietly Disruptive: DUBS Acoustic Filters Use Acoustical Physics to Redefine the Ear Plug Doppler Labs, the New York City-based hearables technology company, brought its first audio innovation, DUBS Acoustic Filters™, to the show floor of the National Association of Music Merchants (NAMM) Conference.

DUBS Acoustic Filters are stylish, high-design earplugs that utilize advanced acoustical physics to reinvent hearing protection. By leveraging the way the ear processes sound, the DUBS accomplish two goals simultaneously: lowering sound by roughly 12 dB, and preserving audio fidelity.

With the DUBS, every participant in the music industry – including DJs, musicians, sound mixers, producers, roadies, security and fans – can hear with crystal clarity while minimizing the damaging impact of high-decibel noise.

"The DUBS achieve sonic fidelity through applying advanced acoustical physics to a small, discreet product," explained Doppler Labs co-founder Dan Wiggins.

"We engineered the DUBS for optimal listening, using low- and high-pass filter paths to account for different frequencies so that the listeners hear crystal clear sound that maintains the original audio balance. We wanted the acoustical experience of the DUBS to be like turning down the volume knob on a stereo system instead of the muffling experience created by normal ear plugs."

"Until now, when you went to a show, either to perform or watch, you were forced to make a choice: do I want to hear clearly while I am there, or damage my ears and risk not hearing clearly in the weeks and months to follow? With the DUBS, you preserve the sound you want to hear while also preserving your hearing – it's a win-win," said Noah Kraft, CEO and Co-Founder, Doppler Labs. "While there are countless use cases, music was the catalyzing spark that fueled us to create a better earplug with the DUBS."

How DUBS Acoustic Filters Work For DUBS Acoustic Filters, Doppler Labs developed a proprietary technology that effectively leveraged the way the ear's sensitivity to sound changes in response to different decibel levels. DUBS Acoustic Filters use both a "low pass path" and a "high pass path" for audio. As sound makes its way through the low pass via two of the DUBS chambers, the sound enters a small, final diameter tube where it exits inside the ear. The large expansion areas cut off high frequencies, so users only hear lower frequencies through this combination.

The high pass path consists of a single small diameter tube, connecting the outside world to the user's ear. As sound enters the tube, low frequency sounds are "bled off" by a controlled leak, and high frequency sounds continue through to the ear. The result is a controlled acoustic experience that produces a distinct audio curve, which is quite unlike anything in the earplug space, which has traditionally offered low-tech foam inserts.

The DUBS Acoustic Filters were developed to be as much a sleek accessory as a hearing protection device – aesthetics and acoustics are both primary concerns for Doppler Labs. The DUBS now come in four colors: teal, blue, pink and white. They are available through www.getDUBS.com and at Best Buy and Amazon.

Yes, Warm Up Your Dang Car if it’s COLD!

By Jason Torchinsky

Facebook, taken as a cars and trying not to touch proclaim there's no need to warm whole, is like having some pushy themselves. I'll explain. up your car, in the stories you friend who has to give you advice The main thrust of most of can usually find that they say a on everything, then show you these articles saying there's no short warm up of 30 seconds or stacks of pictures of his lunches. need to warm up your car is that so is okay. I'll go further — when And lately, I‘ve seen that pushy it's wasteful of fuel, creates need- it's really cold out, you'd be crazy friend telling you not to bother less pollution, and modern, fuel- not to warm up your engine for, warming up your car in winter, injected cars just don't need to be say, at least a minute or two. and posting many articles ex- warmed up to run well like old The reason has nothing to plaining why. Should you believe carbureted cars did. And, gener- do with fuel or my latent desire to him? Or look at his lunch pic- ally, these statements are all true - pollute your driveways — it has tures? modern cars engine control com- to do with oil. When your car has First, f**k the lunch pic- puters are vastly better at manag- been sitting out overnight, all the tures. You know what a hot dog ing the engine to run well even lubricating oil that's coating all of or soup looks like. And as far as when cold, and, sure, if you idle the crucial, moving bits of the car the car warming up goes, it seems the car for 20 minutes, you're not has settled down to the bottom of that most of these anti-warming really accomplishing anything the oil pan. When the temperaup articles are missing some huge beyond turning gas into pollu- tures are really cold, not only is points, and could be giving a po- tion. that oil not near the areas it needs tentially damaging message to But that's only a part of to be, its viscosity — ability to most people, especially the vast what's going on with your car flow — has been severely immajority that don't spend every when it's really cold. Even paired by the cold. You've seen waking moment thinking about though these articles headlines how differently, say, refrigerated maple syrup flows compared to hot syrup — the oil is the same way.

So, when you start that cold engine, it's essentially running without lubrication. If you start up and immediately put a load on the engine, things could get damaged. It's just not ready to go. Take a minute or two to get that oil pumping around before putting any load on the engine, and your pistons and camshafts and turbos and other spinning, moving bits will be much, much happier.

they're doing. Let the car have a drivetrain, maybe your car will moment to wake up and spread last, oh, 10,000 miles longer, some warmth and fluids around. which means more time to be Plus, while all those little explo- used, which means less demand sions in the cylinders are making on the systems to make new parts heat, that heat is being trans- or entire cars, less energy used, ferred to the coolant, which is less fuel used in shipping, marketthen being piped through the ing, selling, etc. Keeping your car heater core, which then can be working well keeps it more effiblown into the passenger com- cient and less polluting as well. partment so your lovely ass So, I think the three minutes of doesn't shatter like an ice sculp- idle is at least a wash. ture shoved by a drunk bridesYou and your machine are maid. The heater's not magic — partners in the solemn task of getyou have to make heat to get it ting your ass to work every cold, blown onto your frozen face. miserable morning. If you treat Now, you don't need to And, as far as the pollution your car well, and give it a few idle for a half hour, but a few and fuel waste goes, let's think minutes to get some heat into the minutes just to get the fluids a bit about this on a larger, systems- system, get that oil splashing thawed out is not a bad idea at level. Sure, if you idle for, say, around, it'll treat you well, too. all. Have a stick shift? Have you three minutes, you're burning Don't believe everything ever felt how sluggish the stick more fuel and polluting more. you see posted on Facebook. Exfeels on a really cold morning? But if that three minutes heats up cept if you see this one…

Think about all the components your oil and transmission fluid (from JALOPNIK .com, with permission) inside that housing, and how and prevents wear to your

Order in the Chaos Helpful Band Tip #48 - Being Prepared for the Studio As musicians, one thing remains inherently constant... our severe desire to immortalize our music in recorded form.

This still remains true.

We can spend YEARS writing one song. And when we feel it is ready, we record it and share it, and hope that others recognize our efforts and dig what we've done as much or more than we do.

But, studio time can be a fearful experience for some, or an event that just plain ELUDES others. But, regardless of when you go into the studio one thing remains honest, and that is that if you are not prepared mentally, physically, technically, and musically, it will reveal itself in the final product. And sometimes it can be a really good thing ... or a really BAD thing. mal.

Whenever I go into the studio, I always try I like to write a song, get it tight with my to make certain I am prepared in every way that band, and then start tearing it apart and fix it. can be affected by the time there. I check my amp Then, get it tight again. But, often, in my mind a (s), restring my guitars, check all my cables, mics, song is not 100% complete until it is tracked. But I pedals, etc. And most importantly, I check that I refuse to go in without a clear and concise idea of am 100% satisfied with my parts (even though I what it is I intend to achieve. I have even been reembellish those parts substantially during track- ferred to as a one-pass-tracker because I am so preing). Because one of the worst things you can do is pared that I can track my rhythm guitars in one show up unprepared. And, one thing that com- take. That is not to say I do not have to go back pletely drives me nuts is to spend time and money and replace a phrase or a small section to remove on the studio only to learn somebody ELSE is un- fret-buzz or a missed timing structure...it happens. prepared.

But, more often than not, I can lay them down My advice is to spend as much time with quickly and solidly. And, not everyone can do that. your band-mates as possible and work out every The thing is, the studio is expensive. And, section of every song you intend to record from top the less time you spend proving to everyone else to bottom. Study the tracks, tear them apart, work that you don't know your parts properly can save them out, and sometimes you may even have re- you a lot more than money if you don't have write or re-structure some parts. That is totally nor- to look or another band.

That all being said, Let me give a piece of advice ... make certain each member knows their parts. That is what rehearsal time is for. You should never use studio time to write your parts unless that is the Producer's desire ... and if you are Korn. If you have only one member who uses that time to write their parts, they are wasting your money, and your time. Not to mention, it really should concern you in just WHAT they have been doing during rehearsal if not toning-up their parts and writing them into at least a close-to-final form.

Additionally, all that time rehearsing will also sure up your inter-band relationships enough to soften the impact of the emotions that most certainly WILL come out during the tracking process.

Because recording isn't easy ... it involves impeccable timing, surety in your parts, and consistency you never thought about before. So, make sure your beats are solid, your rhythm section is true and in the pocket, your guitar parts are squared away, and your lyrics and melodies are WRITTEN. Tailoring the parts and double-tracking can come later. But, the main shell of the song should be DONE and ready to go before you even step into the control room.

Brien DeChristopher is the guitarist and primary songwriter for Seattle Seale-based hard rock band "Agents Of Chaos". He has logged countless hours on stage in live performance, and studio recording time.

You can see this and other Pearls of Wisdom at http://www.blogster.com/briendechristopher/

hang massive Leading a social revolution through music - a movement of social change and human empowerment. Through the empowerment of their music, we can all recognize our innate strengths, gifts and talents and with precision we see how these can be mobilized in profound and powerful activities that can be of benefit to all.

<CV WorldWide> Tell us who is in styles of playing matched and we the case if there is no managethe band, and their role… just applied the same attitude to- ment or record label involved.

Hang Massive is Danny Cudd wards the two hangs as soon as and Markus Offbeat. <CV WW> Did you guys play in we could. Through busking any other "traditional" bands over Both share the roles of compos(performing) in the streets for ing, playing and managing to dif- many hours daily Hang Massive the years? ferent degrees.

Markus: No. started to shape into what it is If you see Hang Massive like a today and it continues to expand Danny: Not really, I played in ship and on a ship there will only powerfully. some fairly unconventional bands be one captain steering the ship with my didgeridoo and percusand the rest of the crew support- <CV WW> Have you always want- sion. ed to play music, or were there ing the captain with their other interests when you were strengths and talents. <CV WW> Of course, we have to The captain of Hang Massive is younger? ask why the Hang Drum? It's a Markus: I always liked to play very new instrument, having only Danny Cudd. been around since about 2000… music but never imagined I <CV WW> What are your backwould do it to the degree that I Markus: For me it was not a degrounds in music, what have you am today. cision. Due to the rarity of the studied?

Danny: I have always enjoyed instrument, it just kind of fell into Markus: I grew up in a musical playing music and it is something my lap, so to speak. family. My father is a great musi- that I have always done. Along- Danny: As soon as I first met cian and he has really inspired side that I have also enjoyed to somebody with a Hang, which me and taught me a great basis run my own small businesses was at a juggling convention in from where I see clearly that I from a young age. These two pas- Europe I was captivated and set have the ability to express myself sions came together perfectly on getting one. It took me a year through the hang. with Hang Massive as there is a to get the cash together and find Danny: I also grew up playing certain business aspect that is in- out where and how to get one music in school from a young volved with running a successful and then I made the journey to age. I started with the clarinet music project. This is especially Switzerland to make it happen. and saxophone and loved the coming together that was created by being involved in musical projects. After leaving school and starting to travel I began to explore many world instruments such as didgeridoo and percussion. This led me onto the hang as soon as I discovered it. <CV WW> Talk about the coming together – how did you guys find each other, the decision to play together, and of course, these types of instruments… <HM> We met in Goa, in India, while participating in a Balanced View training together. And at one point we started to jam with one Hang that was owned by Danny and one djembe. Our

ing of Hang, we just play. :) <CV WW> On the instrument itself, what creates the different sounds/tones? Do they sound different if they are on your lap or on a box, for instance? <HM> The whole instrument is tuned to perfection. There are eight or nine tone fields that create different notes and in turn the whole instrument resonates! The Hang is designed to be played in lap and the situation of the legs does affect the sound to some degree.

<CV WW> Did you have any particular goals when you started this band? <HM> To reach the whole world with our music through the use of the internet and social media – now is merely the unfolding of the vision. :)

<CV WW> Any exceptional story behind the name? <HM> Massive is a term that was used in Dance Culture in the UK and also in other cultures before that to refer to a group of people. For example ―The London Massive― would refer to a <CV WW> Do you write your own group of people from London or songs for the most part? Can you ―Jungle Massive― would refer to "cover" a song with those instrua group of people that loved Jun<CV WW> It’s a fascinating instru- ments? gle music and went to big Jungle ment, how long does it take to <HM> Yes, we write all of our Dance music parties. Hang Maslearn? own songs. It is tricky to cover sive therefore refer to us as a <HM> We have been playing songs as there is only a selection group of people playing and lovtogether for around four years of notes available. Some people ing Hang. It was also especially and in this time we have played have done that in the past. We suited as we both love electronic thousands of hours together. It is may make some covers in our Dance music and our music is endless as with any instrument new project where we will work totally influenced by that. and one can always continue to with some other people, instruimprove. In Indian Classical mu- ments and production. <CV WW> Who do you guys sic they say that after ten years you please yourself, after twenty <CV WW> You call your music years you please the crowd, after "world music" - what does that thirty years you please your mean to you? teacher and after forty years you <HM> We are both travellers of please God! Still plenty of time to the world for many years. We go! have taken influence from all over and this informs our music. <CV WW> Do you make them yourselves, or do you know now <CV WW> How much practice do how to provide guidance when you guys do each day to play such they are being made so you can an instrument? achieve a certain tone? <HM> For the first years we <HM> The original Hang was played a lot in the street together. made in Berne in Switzerland by During this time we played a Felix Rohner and Sabina countless number of hours. We Schärer. It was a huge process do this a bit less these days but perfected over many, many years still play most days and also have of research of experimentation. periods of more intensive practice We are not involved in the mak- from time to time.

connect as a human race in all these ways and share information so freely. “ ” - People, group, collective (Jamaican) When, as a worldwide community, we learn to use it for the benefit of all, it will serve so many in ways that currently cant be comcount as your musical influences? love, sharing and empowerment. prehended.

Markus: My Father and I lisCombine that with some groovy beats and you‘re onto a winner! <CV WW> What are your tened to all kinds of music. All artists past, present and future are thoughts about the music industry <CV WW> Tell us about a memo- as a whole – you are definitely non my influences. rable show, what made it great for -traditional, where do you see your Danny: I have been inspired by place in the music family? many artists and musical genres. you?

I have loved the various electron- Markus: In Goa last year…Half Markus: We are pioneers of not ic music genres that have evolved of the crowd were asleep and I just a new instrument but also in really appreciated that people felt during the past twenty years in our way of sharing our music and the UK and many of these have comfortable to relax I took the vibe. Our attitude of gratitude microphone and shared that most will and has truly impressed and influenced our music. musicians would be offended but inspired so many already and will for me it is a great sign that what definitely continue to do so. <CV WW> What is it about your music that you feel appeals to fans? I feel to communicate through Danny: The music industry has the music is getting through.

Markus: For me it is clear that changed so much, as has the way what inspires and appeals to our that people want to receive mu<CV WW> What is your impreslisteners is the vibe that we have sic. People want to have access to trained up through the Balanced sion of Social Media – worthwhile all music, easily at the point of effort, necessary evil, or wasteful View training. release and not dependent on distraction?

Danny: I agree totally, we bring a their ability to pay. The internet <HM> It is amazing how we can vibe of relaxation, generosity, has revolutionized this totally and it is so important to be responsive to this. We allow all of our music to be downloaded freely from our site regardless of the ability to pay. There is an option to donate for those that can.

In this way our music spreads all around the world and can be enjoyed by so many.

URBAN DICTIONARY

massive

“All de massive dem love reggae music.”

<CV WW> Then again, in this diverse music world, with over 10 MILLION views on YouTube, can we finally call you a sensation? <HM> Yes. <CV WW> Where do you see the band in 3-5 years?

Markus: If it continues as it has up until now, more massive will be my only expression of how

ers. We want to share a vibe of empowerment and relaxation for the world and will see how that spontaneously unfolds. <CV WW> What other bands do you guys listen to during downtime and relaxation, what’s on YOUR music player?

Markus: Tipper, Cian Finn, De La Soul, Bob Marley, The Many Rivers Ensemble Feat Hang Massive, Syster Sol, Buju Banton, Blackalicious.

Danny: Aphex Twin, Sza, The Staves, Rene Aubry, Rising ApStefan Lundaahl Foto palachia, Xavier Rudd, Fat Freddys Drop.

Markus: For me it means we can continue to do all things in our that will look and I cannot even <CV WW> You started a campaign own way to expand and reach on Pledge Music for fundraising to out with our vibe far and vide. start to paint a picture of how record a new album - last we that will look. checked, you well exceeded your <CV WW> Tell us about the colDanny: We are collaborating goal (Congratulations!) - what does laboration with Victoria & Craig with more and more people to join our talents with those of oth- this sort of support mean to you? on the new album - what do you

people discover their innate strengths, gifts and talents, train them up and find ways to contribute them to the world in ways that will be of benefit to all beings. It is this recognition of each person‘s total uniqueness, amazingness and power that I would love to support through our music and demonstration.

think they'll bring to your sound, how will they add that little extra?

Markus: They already add their not little, but Massive extra.

Their contribution of strengths, gifts and talents will naturally explode and what comes out on the other end will be pure magic. <CV WW> Let's talk about "Balanced View"...how do you see your music contributing to social change?

Markus: I have been involved in this training for the last 5 years and I have seen what it has given to me and to so many others. I see so powerfully how the training from Balanced View is my key for harmonious relating and the core structure of how Hang Massive continues to flourish.

When I see this change in myself I see it is possible for the world as a whole. www.balancedview.org is where you can see for yourself what it‘s all about. <CV WW> When you say "human empowerment", what does that mean to you? What do you hope you "empower" in your listeners?

Danny: Human empowerment is the process through which all

produced with that as the sole aim.

<CV WW> Anything else exciting coming down the pike in 2015?

Danny: HEAPS!!! We will be releasing a five track EP called ―Marine Migration― featuring Victoria Grebezs in the next month or so. The EP features two original songs of ours and some <CV WW> You talk about your awesome remixes. We will re"vibe" - What do you hope to aclease the full length album of complish with your music, what ―The Many Rivers Ensemble message do you try to convey? feat. Hang Massive― at the end of Markus: The only reason for do- February. We also have an outraing whatever I am doing is to geous album called ―Celestial share the teachings and support Colour― that we made over the system of Balanced View. Every- past two years in collaboration thing about me is sourced in the with a great friend and producer four mainstays of Balanced View, in the UK called ―J Rokka―. The clear and simple. album is a journey through many Danny: We want to convey an genres of electronic music, all attitude of gratitude, of open fused with the sounds and vibes hearted love connection, interof Hang Massive. It is a totally connectivity with all beings and incredible album. We will also be total human empowerment. We working on a new album with are all involved with a show Craig and Victoria that we fundcalled Massive Vibe which is a ed through the Pledge Music Balanced View production and campaign. That is set to be rethis whole show is specifically leased in the early autumn.

Of course, loads of gigs, new videos, live stream concerts and a new and upgraded website! We will also be performing with ―Massive Vibe― which is a music show produced by Candice O Denver and Balanced View. We have gigs getting lined up all around the world for that! How does that sound for 2015? <CV WW> That sounds to us like … success. We are honored to have spoken to you in our Magazine.

Any final words you would like to convey to your fans?

http://www.balancedview.org/ <HM> All is well.

Getty Images

Getty Images

Getty Images

“…crushing riffs with balls to the walls vocals. Listening to this reminds me of the good ‘ol days when you had solid vocals and galloping riffs. Good to see it’s still out there”

– Billy Boldt, Thrash Zone

Gear the Pros Use! Overall I have always been a Marshall guy. The first time I heard Iron Maiden Killers album all I could say is “THAT is the tone I want”. Marshalls can be finicky though, especially in the JMP and JCM800 days, you would never know if you got a “good” one or not until you plugged it in and cranked it. They say variety is the spice of life and when it comes to amplifiers, I agree. I have old, new, stock, modified, mint, and road worn Marshalls. Hey, as long as it says “Marshall”, I am in! My current main rig is a Marshall jvm410h and, of course the Marshall 1960 a/b cabinets. Those that see me live note that I use a boss gt100 effects pedal; however this is only for effects like echo, chorus, flange, wah and channel switching. ALL the tone comes from the head.

For guitars, I started off as a Gibson guy and played nothing but them for almost 15 years until a friend of mine, Hawkeye from „Mr. Hyde‟, turned me onto Jacksons. Now Jacksons (USA made of course) are my 100% main guitar (although I still use a zebra striped Gibson explorer for special tunings). I guess the Gibson Explorer that I have had since 18 rubbed off on me because my favorite Jackson is the Kelly.

Guitars 3 Jackson Kellys (Blue, Purple, custom graphic) 1 Jackson RR 2 SL2H soloists 1 custom built Strat (I bought body and neck wood off of eBay and some dude turned it into an awesome guitar) 2 Gibson Explorers

Main Rig Marshall JVM410H with Marshall 1960 a and b cabinets.

Heads Marshall TSL100 Marshall Artist 3150 Marshall JMP 2204 Marshall JCM800

Cabinets 4 Marshall slant cabinets (misc jcm900, jcm800, 1960 etc.)

4 Marshall straight cabinets (misc jcm900, jcm800, 1960 etc.)

2 other old beat up Marshall cabinets loaded with celestion v30s Two mini stacks, only 3 feet tall but look cool!

Effects Boss GT 100s for live and practice, plus a ton of pedals for goofing around

PureSin @ NAMM

PureSin @ NAMM

4 Insane Things Nobody Tells You About Riding a Motorcycle (pt 1)

By Robert Brockway

I've been gone a few fer to cars as "cages," because lit- it in our cars: They're aerodyweeks, but I can explain: I just erally everything has its embar- namic and sound-proof and bought a motorcycle. Which rassing elitist jerks.) But I'm not shock absorbing and sealed off means that I've pretty much spent talking about the reckless velocity from all external stimuli to make the last fortnight on a motorcy- of dudes without enough brain commuting an isolated and relaxcle, thinking about a motorcycle, cells to comprehend mortality. I ing experience. fixing a motorcycle, almost meant exactly what I said: "We But on a motorcycle, you crashing a motorcycle, gazing all go way too fast." sit right down on top of an engine longingly at a motorcycle and First, let me say this: I'm with wheels, and the second you pushing a dead motorcycle not a wizened old hand at this start moving, you realize that around a parking garage looking motorcycling business (for exam- even our posted speed limits are for a jump. I could try to give you ple, I refer to it as "motorcycling still three to eight times faster some useful advice here, like business"), and so far I spend than our species was ever meant "Don't take the Motorcycle Safe- most of my bike time wobbling to to go. Our stupid eyeballs and ty Course with a fever," or a terrified stop after every pot- ears and brains simply cannot "When the floaty elf tells you to hole. But my limited experience reconcile our established rate of 'ramp that s**t,' don't listen -- atop a motorcycle has taught me travel without all the buffers of a that's just the fever talking." But a valuable lesson already, and it car around us, because our inthat stuff is probably pretty ap- is this: All of us -- every human stincts understand that this parent to most of you, and if it's being alive today -- are traveling should not be possible. But on a not, try listening to the elf a few way, way faster than we have any motorcycle, suddenly you comtimes; some lessons you can only right to. And I don't mean "We're prehend the wrongness of speed. learn from mistakes. So instead, in too much of a rush," like it's You feel every tiny bump in the I'm going to tell you about a few some symptom of our modern road as you hurtle over them at a very obvious fundamentals that, world; I'm saying that, since the sacrilegious pace, the wind honestly, any idiot could figure advent of the engine, humanity screaming in your ears, because out -- but that nobody ever has always flitted about at a ridic- that's what happens when you try seemed to mention to this partic- ulously incomprehensible speed. to outrace the very air itself, obular idiot before he got himself It's just that we're removed from jects flying by too quickly for into this mess. #4 - We Go Way Too Fast A few motorcyclists just read that heading and thought something like "F**k yeah, we go too fast! We're daredevils, bro.

You suckers can keep your cages, we're free." (Yes, some bikers re-

your eyes to fully register. torists?

Why does a speed open to the air, bumpy, windy, "We are running way too limit debate read like panicked loud, careening minimalist carf**king fast!" your primal brain religious zealots reading the Book riages that made you pay for evescreams. "How did this even hap- of Revelations? And while we're ry mile with an ounce of oldpen?! ARE WE FALLING?" at it, what is a Danger Sphere, timey fear urine. But nobody ever tells you that before you go out And then your rational brain and can I have one? glances in the rear view mirror For answers to (most of) and buy a motorcycle. and says "Speed up, man, this is those questions, here's the rest of There's no helpful FAQ a school zone: You have to do at the quote: out there that says "Caution: least 20 mph." "... and the only effective We've all been defying the laws That's not just me being a way to deal with the question of nature this whole time, and pussy about the whole thing (I was to make cars illegal which you're about to realize it." mean, it is totally that, but there ran at more than about 15 or 20 are other factors, too). When the automobile first started seeing major usage, the U.K. passed the Motor Car Act in 1903 to dictate proper road speeds. Here's the debate lawmakers had about the matter. There were some passionate responses to the matter on both sides, with some advocating reduced limits, while others argued for the limits being abolished entirely. A fairly typical argument went like this: "[Mr. Nussey] wished to miles an hour, or whatever speed #3 - Other Drivers Hate You protest against the great speed at was fixed as reasonable. He You've probably heard that which motor-cars were driven. hoped something of this kind phrase before, or something like He thought the danger would be would be done, otherwise what it: "Drive like they're all out to increased and not decreased was now a great nuisance might get you," your drunken, paranoid when motor-cars came more gen- become a great danger." uncle might have told you, right erally into use, and he urged the That's right: This bitter de- before he took you out for right hon. Gentleman to meet bate regarding the crazy, irre- "driving lessons" that always this danger in time. It had been sponsible, blasphemous highway seemed to start at one bar and suggested that there should be a speeds at the time was about rais- end at his house. But I mean it sphere of danger and another ing the speed limit ... from 14 to literally here: If you ride a bike, sphere of comparative safety, but 20 mph. That's ridiculous now, every other driver on the road he thought those in the danger seeing those numbers. They're despises you. As soon as you set sphere would have a very bad talking about speeds lower than ass to motorized cycle, you betime indeed. It was no use being our absolute bare minimums like come Unclean. able to recognise the number of a the devil himself was hurtling by motor-car after they had been their houses every night leaving I don't know if it's something in the perceived image that mountnearly killed." little Back to the Future flame ing a slightly narrower than norMan, is this when they tracks in his wake. But if you mal vehicle makes you more of a lowered the speed limits to 55? want to understand why, just hop man, or a tough guy, or a reckless How fast were they going that onto a motorcycle. Early cars daredevil, but traffic hates motorthey wanted to designate special were built somewhat similarly to cycles. Not only hates them, but "danger spheres" for suicidal mo- modern bikes: They were small,

4 Insane Things Nobody Tells You About Riding a Motorcycle (pt 1 - cont)

By Robert Brockway

possesses a rage so intense that game. And if you think I'm em- of people freely admitted it to a murder is the only solution. Oth- bellishing, or that this behavior is total stranger. Find any other sceer drivers will tailgate the crap exclusive to me and how I ride nario where nearly one out of ten out of you, regardless of your (which, for the record, is a bit passerby will casually, almost speed, and that's kind of a bigger timid, all adorably knock-kneed happily cop to attempted murder deal when, y'know, you don't and shaky-legged like a newborn on a regular basis: have a tail or a gate. So there's a deer), check out this study by the "Excuse me, sir; were you several-ton steel box traveling California Office of Traffic Safe- aware that commercial fishing more than fast enough to crush ty. within two miles of the coastline you to death in a nanosecond, The survey was conducted is legal in California?" and its operator has decided that to find out whether Californians "Why, no, random his safe stopping distance is "up knew that lane-sharing was legal stranger, I was not! And in fact, I your asshole." And there's no for motorcycles (that's when you regularly hurl knives and flaming way to make him back off, either. drive in the space between lanes bottles of kerosene at boats when He's comfortable there, inside to cut through traffic). Most did I see them fishing too close to the your asshole; he shows no signs not, but that's not the interesting beach! Hahaha, joke's on me, I of moving. He's going to make a part: The interesting part was ex- guess! Welp, see you later, I'm off life up in your colon -- hell, he's actly how many of them -- 7 per- to stab pedestrians crossing at inalready planting a garden and cent -- freely admitted to the sur- tersections without crosswalks -having his mail forwarded there, vey conductor that they "tried to have a good one!" so you better get used to him. prevent lane sharing." That dry, Drivers will also pass you in-lane objective phrasing makes it sound Next Month…#’s 1 & 2!

-- just flying by on the right in a like no big deal, but the only way one-lane street -- because a bike is you can "try to prevent lane sharsmaller, so there's technically ing" is to abruptly block a lane enough space to slip by. Techni- with your car when you see a cally there's enough space to fit bike coming (i.e., ramming a moyour Prius in a school gymnasi- torcycle off the road). um, too, but shockingly, it's still That is a shocking piece of generally frowned upon when information to volunteer to anyyou mow down a dodge ball body at any time, and 7 percent

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Gary England

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