2014 CVWW December

DECEMBER 2014

THE Lifestyle Magazine for Custom Vehicle & Music Enthusiasts

ALWAYS FREE

Earth to Ashes

Robin McAuley

p. 4

Contents...

From the City of Roses to your playlist, Earth to Ashes is a local Portland, OR band with a huge sound and talent that should not be contained in the Pacific NorthWest.

With a sound reminiscent of Iron Maiden or classic Queensryche, Earth to Ashes is claiming their rightful spot in the NorthWest metal scene. p. 24

Cover Photo by Sherry Keith

In Memoriam: Wayne Static

03

Raiding the Rock Vault Collage

12

News You Can Use - Cars: CPO Basics

14

Gear the Pros Use: Earth to Ashes’ Matt Dorado

17

Order in the Chaos: Brien DeChristopher’s Music Blog

18

At the Scene: Sin City Rock Party (B Fox)

20

News You Can Use - Motorcycles: Your Significant Other

36

Gear the Pros Use: Earth to Ashes’ Mark Raney

39

Tattoo Gallery...Baseball Ink, in honor of the World Series

40

Jamie Paulus Spokane’s music scene is alive and thriving; this month, Jamie Paullus, always our eye in the city, brings is 3 Pill Morning and Black Veil Brides.

Page 34

Sherry Keith In conjunction with our interview of legendary singer Robin McAuley, Mystic Photography takes us on a pictorial tour of his show: Raiding the Rock Vault.

Page 12 CV WorldWide Magazine

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CV WORLDWIDE MAGAZINE © 2012-14 is published monthly and NO reproduction of content is permitted without Publisher’s prior approval. Publisher assumes no financial responsibility for the errors in ads beyond the cost of space occupied by error. Publi sher is not liable for: any slandering of an individual, or group as we mean no malice or individual criticism at any time; nor are we responsible for the opinions or comments of our columnists; and promises, coupons, or lack of fulfillment from advertisers who are solely responsible for the content of their ads. Publisher is also to be held harmless from: failure to produce any issue as scheduled due to reasons beyond control; all suits, claims or loss of expenses; this includes but is not limited to, suits for libel, plagiarism, copyright infringement and unauthorized use of a person’s name or photograph.

A letter from CV WorldWide Magazine…

This past month, rock icon, musician extraordinaire, and “man with the HAIR”, Wayne Richard Wells, better known to the world and his fans as Wayne Static, passed away suddenly at age 48. The outpouring of sympathy, support, and love from his fellow musicians, to Wayne‟s family, his band, and his lovely wife Tera Wray Static, was incredible; but to this day, the music world mourns the loss of one our own, taken from us suddenly and for seemingly no reason.

Wayne was a friend to CV WorldWide, and especially Mystic Photography‟s Sherry Keith...we join people everywhere in saying “Wayne, your time here was too brief, but boy did your star shine brightly…”

To all those close to Wayne, our sincere condolences and prayers are with you in this time of loss. To Wayne...Godspeed our friend, you will always remain on our playlist…

the Pres & Sherry K

Wayne Static / 1965 - 2014

CV WorldWide: Tell us what you’re doing these and passion that I loved when listening to Modays, what musical projects are you involved in? town; great melodies and great guitar riffs that Robin McAuley: As one of four (4) singers I were and still are unforgettable. I wanted to be a perform in Las Vegas @ The New Tropicana in a great rock drummer and played drums in small “Classic Rock Show” called Raiding The Rock bands for a number of years. Occasionally singing Vault. Shows are Friday through Wednesday @ background vocals, I was later convinced that I 9pm. Go to www.raidingtherockvault.com for pics should be singing lead. Not something I had set my mind on and even to this day always wish I had and update info.

Before that McAuley Schenker Group been that drummer.

(MSG), Survivor, Grand Prix, Far-Corporation, CVWW: Do you think you got your musical abilGMT, Bleed. ity from your mother and her accordion? GrowCVWW: Tell us about the beginning, what was ing up around horses, did you ever thing to folthe catalyst behind you diving into music? low your father’s path instead?

RM: I grew up in the Ireland and while surRM: Funny thing about that accordion! My rounded by the great traditional sounds of Irish Mother was very good at playing the accordion music which I love, I always found myself listening and being one of a row of houses close to the nearto Motown. Great melodies, lyrics and just great est Pub, many people would spill out after closing voices. I was big on the Four Tops, The Tempta- time and end up at OUR house where the music tions etc. Just great music. continued. (Not an unusual occurrence in all parts Then I discovered Paul Rodgers and FREE. of Ireland after closing time). I kinda grew to disThis guy could really sing and with the same soul like that instrument over time. :)

Now of course I think very differently and It was in this local Pub in West London that wish I had learned to play it like my older Brother I was approached by members of who would later Jim and my Sister Joan. I'm sure I inherited my become Grand Prix.

Mothers music ability but I‟m just not an accordion player. Ha! CVWW: Alright, fast forward to Germany, and I was forever around the stables with horses (eventually) MSG. Tell us about the meeting with as a young lad. My Father brought many an Irish Michael Schenker - do I hear it right that you acThoroughbred into this world during his lifetime. tually met once and refused an invite before He was also a soldier and fought the Germans in joining him? the trenches. I lost him to a road accident when I RM: Michael Schenker came to see Grand was only 13 (Thirteen).

Prix perform at a club in London. With him was I still miss him greatly. I was in the Irish Na- the late and great Cozy Powell (Drums), Andy tional Guard so I followed that path. Won Tro- Nye (Keys) Chris Glenn (Bass). phies for sharp shooting and was an acting corCozy's press agent called me the next day poral for a time. and said Michael really liked my voice, and invited me to the studio where MSG was rehearsing.

CVWW: Interesting that you starting major ef- Grand Prix was set to tour that same week to supfort as a cabinet maker, tell us about that focus port my first CD with the band “There for None to and of course, your eventual decision to aban- See”! I declined the offer of MSG due to tour comdon that for music, what was the catalyst? mitments. I received some bad press as a result of RM: One of my uncles had a woodturning me declining the offer. :) business in the city of Dublin. As a kid out of school, trades were always encouraged by parents “Young Irish Upstart refuses offer to join MSG!!!” with the idea that, if you had a trade you would always have work! Hmmm!!!! Anyway I had an interest in architecture but was offered an apprenticeship after Technical College. There I landed and studied Cabinetmaking and Chairmaking; reproduction period furniture mostly. Queen Anne, Regency, Chippendale etc.

I was out playing the clubs as a drummer during this time in addition to my time in the National Guard.

I headed to London some years later and the sound of music just got louder and louder!!!

CVWW: And once in England, you were convinced to be a singer instead of a drummer…was that a big change for you, how did you accept that advice?

RM: I was only in London about two months, and was literally thrown on stage in the local pub by my brother-in-law. I sang something or other and was soon approached by the band to come sing with them. I gave them the whole drummer thing but ended staying with them for about two years. Played every pub and club in London worth playing and got paid for same. A winner all round. :)

producing. We were signed to EMI not long after and appeared at the “Monsters of Rock” in Germany with Iron Maiden, Def Leppard, OZZY, Bon Jovi and more.

We released our first “MC AULEY SCHENKER GROUP” CD “Perfect Timing”, and was the first appearance Michael had had on MTV with the release of „Gimme Your Love’, our first single from that CD. CVWW: Alright, fast forward to your success in the USA…tell us about the Headbanger’s Ball hosting experience, and how did that come about?

RM: Riki Ractman was the host of HeadCVWW: But the second time you met, when you banger‟s Ball and I believe McAuley Schenker accepted the gig, what changed your mind? were the first to appear on the show! This was a big RM: Four years later I was on a promotion- step for MSG as Michael had little to no exposer at al tour for Far Corporation (German studio pro- TV or Radio in the US. ject) in England. We had released a remake of “Stairway to Heaven” which went to #8 on the CVWW: You toured with Def Leppard & RUSH in English charts and went on to sell 2 million sales. support for “Perfect Timing”, but very soon after MSG management contacted me and arranged a you move to headlining your own dates…what meeting to set up an audition. Rudolf Schenker allowed that decision to me made, how did you heard the song on radio, and Michael now looking make the leap from opening act to headliner? to form a new lineup, was on the hunt for me. I RM: I guess it‟s the usual progression once was once again reluctant to proceed given you release something new - the opening slot on a Michael's reputation but I flew into Hanover in big and highly successful record from Def Leppard Germany and in Rudolf's studio met Michael and with maximum exposer and large audiences. It‟s we worked endless hours on songs, some old and also important for the Label to get in touch with some new material. A week after returning to Lon- the bands fan base for marketing etc. Headlining don Michael called me and asked me to join but as gave us the opportunity to build our own followers his equal partner in the band? He said Rudolf, not forgetting that Michael Schenker is one of the Klaus Meine, and management agreed I should be most revered rock guitarists ever. UFO has such a his new frontman. huge following so we'd perform a number of UFO tunes in our set and people would go ape shit, not CVWW: Michael Schenker became “McAuley Schenker” - whose idea was that?

RM: Explaining he needed someone he could trust and rely on, he also pitched the idea of a new name. I told him I loved the MSG logo and changing it would be a recipe for disaster. He had already given it some thought it seems, and decided that because of the lettering and our name initials we could still keep the MSG logo except Michael (M) should be McAuley and the rest as they say!!!!!

We began writing together and wrote about 10 songs or so. Recorded at Rudolf's with Rudolf

Jon Anderson, Lou Gramme, Paul Rodgers, Bobby Kimball, Micky Thomas, Rob Halford, Bruce Dickenson, Joe Elliott, Jimi Jameson (RIP) Ripper Owens, Jon Bon Jovi, Ozzy (YES OZZY), David Coverdale, AND the great ROBERT PLANT himself, etc. etc. All very different styles but one common goal, to mesmerize and make you sit up and listen, And to perform on the same stage with all the above. Man 'O Man!!! In awe, honored and extremely humbled for sure. Makes you feel incredibly small.

CVWW: Do you think you’d do anything different up to this point, give the wisdom of time?

RM: Always room for improvement of course, but I‟m so so grateful for everything.

CVWW: How do you think you’ve grown as a band and as musicians? having seen either Michael or UFO perform for RM: Respect is very important. Be honest quite a while. It was awesome…. and kind to those around you. No need to be arroCVWW: “Save Yourself” was a smash hit follow up, and you’re now touring with Great White & Whitesnake - all heavy hitters in the 80’s hair metal scene - how crazy was it, really?

RM: Power ballads were the staple of a lot of the 80's bands. We released the single “Anytime” from the “Save Yourself” CD and it was well received at radio and MTV. Gaining some ground the opportunity came to tour with Whitesnake, which was incredible as they also had amazing exposer at MTV right at the same time. It was planned to tour all of Europe with Whitesnake but due to some issues Whitesnake only toured England which we did with them. We returned to the US and toured the “Blues and Boogie” tour with Great White.

This was such great time to tour. Audiences were crazy and you never saw so much hair in your life including my own :) I think a lot of that FUN element is missing today!!!

CVWW: The list of people with whom you’ve played is incredible and represents the pantheon of rock musicians - what lessons have you taken from those times?

RM: I find myself constantly learning.

When you meet the likes of say Glenn Hughes,

gant, it's a bad trait to have and gets you nowhere.

dale, CA. He filled me in on this idea from Simon Napier Bell (YARDBIRDS, WHAM, GEORGE MICHAELS) and Sir Harry Cowell who had managed ASIA and worked with STING. It was to be a Classic Rock show covering a period of the 60's70's- and 80's.

He asked if I was at all interested should it come about, to which I replied “Yes!” We recorded a number of songs and some months later, got the call again about performing a showcase at “The Mayan Theatre” downtown LA. This took place in November 2012.

Come January 2013 Sir Harry called me together with John and told me about been offered to perform the show at THE LVH in Vegas.

CVWW: What would you tell a younger version of yourself?

CVWW: What can fans expect to see at a Raiding RM: Get out while ya still can! Ha! Serious- the Rock Vault show? ly though, do your best and try to be the best at RM: Fans have seen to date some 370 what you do BUT have fun doing it! It makes it shows and love it. #1on Trip Adviser for the past that much easier and don't take yourself too seri- year. Best show in Best of Las Vegas. Moved from ously.

The LVH/Westgate to the New Tropicana on the strip.

CVWW: What advice would you give to young The story of Classic Rock taking you musicians today? through some 30 plus songs in 2 Hour show. With RM: Pretty much the same as above. Learn HD Video and a State of the Art Light Show. Stothe business early so you don't get ripped off! Care- ries with vignettes performed by actors and dancers ful what you sign and who you sign it with. throughout. and of course the live band.

Guitarist and MD of the show, Howard CVWW: Okay, on to Sin City and Raiding the Leese, (Heart & Bad Co) - Guitars, Doug Aldrich, Rock Vault…tell us how the idea came about and (Whitesnake & Burning rain), Drums - Jay Schelhow you became involved. Do we read right that len (ASIA), Keys - Michael T Ross (Lita Ford & the first show was in LA, not Vegas? How did the Missing persons) Bass - Hugh McDonald (Bon Joprocess come about where you took the show to vi) - Vocals - Paul Shortino (Rough Cutt & Quiet Vegas then?

Riot), Vocals -Andrew Freeman (Lynch Mob, OffRM: John Payne (ASIA) called me to dis- spring), Vocals - Carol-Lyn Lyddle, (Masters of cuss singing on a few tracks at his studio in Glen- Rock), Vocals - Stephanie Calvert (Starship), Vocals - Robin Mc Auley (Mc Auley Schenker, Survivor) CVWW: Given its popularity, do you foresee any expansion in the US, or maybe overseas?

RM: Touring has been discussed but no plans as yet that I am aware of.

CVWW: Who do you count as your musical influences?

RM: Paul Rodgers. Lou Gramme.

CVWW: What other bands do you listen to dur-

ing downtime and relaxation, what’s on YOUR CVWW: Now, tell us about a show that made you music player? think “damm, is this really worth it?”

RM: Literally everything. Depends on my RM: Hmmmm!!! This is the music business. mood. I listen to it all as long as it has melody.

Remember what advice I gave earlier. Learn the business and try not to get ripped off? There are CVWW: What motivates you to keep improving, egos out of control. We all have them. If you keep to keep expanding your horizons as a musician? this in mind and be prepared for occasional disapRM: There's still much to do. Writing is the pointments it can be of enormous help. Doesn't best way to stay in the now provided it's heard of make it better, just easier….. course. I'm still hoping to get that big movie soundCVWW: Any REALLY crazy stories you are willtrack. One can only keep trying, right!! ing to share in our pages?

RM: The first record from FARTell us about a particularly memorable show that really made it all worthwhile for you - any CORPORATION “Division One” was an instant top 40 chart success. The "Stairway to Heaven" reshow, any time.

RM: That's a relatively easy one to answer. make reached #8 in England and sold over 2 milLou Gramme, being one of my all-time fav' influ- lion singles. With many TV appearances Farences, spent a week as special guest of The Rock Corporation was in everyone‟s living room. The Vault. Every night he performed “I Wanna Know debut of the single was on the "Thomas Godshalk What Love Is” especially his last night, I got really Saturday Night Show" and had a viewing audience emotional. Here's my hero, the voice I can listen to of 80 million. It so happened that Robert Plant was forever and learn so much from, and here I am also on the show that same night. You can imagine singing background vocals with him on this beauti- the awkwardness of him seeing the black and silver ful song that was a huge hit for Foreigner. Every- backdrop with the very large words “STAIRWAY one is singing along including this awesome choir TO HEAVEN” on it. He stared me down until I we had called in especially for his performance. directed him to the Producer. He really liked our version and we ended up laughing and drinking Unforgettable!!!

quite a lot that evening.

CVWW: Given your incredible accomplishments We're talking Robert Plant here folks!!! and musical road, is there really anything left for you to achieve?

That's pretty crazy in my book!

RM: I have a beautiful wife, Gina. Two CVWW: Let’s talk about the music industry to- awesome twin boys, Jamie and Casey, what an day...and social media...music distribution is achievement for me... So Happy!!!!! much different now, do you see that as progress? The ability to market/sell individual CVWW: Okay, what’s in store for the remainder songs, does that benefit the industry as a whole? of 2014 and into 2015? Any other big projects RM: Social Media, yea!!! Use it, it's free are in the works? most of the time. Record, post the link and voila!

RM: Maybe, but for that you have to stay Instant access…. tuned……

The Major labels still work well for the Major Artist's. Great!! But what about the little guy CVWW: Any final words you would like to convey with great music and no means to get to “that” mato your fans and our readers? jor label? Home studios and recordings have for a RM: From the bottom of my Irish heart, very long time filled that gap. Thankfully. thank you all so very much for the years you have Sounds awesome, right? Cost's very little aflistened to my music and indeed all the wonderful ter equipment purchase. Post to YouTube, Facemusic made available to us. Be well always and if book, on your own web page. Do your own packyou have a wish or a dream, then follow it closely aging and mercy. Now wait for all this likes, invite and with perseverance. them to shows and sell your music there. In perStop to pray sometimes and say thank you son. Some Indie labels are also good for lesser always. Don't take anything for granted. Give beknown bands. It's usually all about $$$ cause you want to and not for the glory of others CVWW: What is it about your music that you feel else you'll be disappointed. appeals to fans?

Love like it was your last…

RM: Hell I don't know! I'm just happy that there are people who listen to it and like it. That Much LOVE to you all Robin McAuley they relate in some ways to it lyrically or just like the melody. It's kool either way and I thank everyone who has ever listened and mentioned it to their friends and their friends. Keep listening please. I love you all….

CVWW: Do any of your songs speak to you on a deep personal level?

RM: While penning each one of them my head was for sure in a particular place at that time.

Life brings many new gifts and surprises. Experience and heartache, happy or sad, we learn a lot and manage to somehow press forward only to come out the other end with only a few cuts and bruises. If we're lucky...

CVWW: Where do you think you are in your musical journey?

RM: Right now, in my hotel room at the New Tropicana, Las Vegas, trying desperately to finish this before showtime. Ha!!!

Gilbert German Shepard Australian Cattle Dog 3 years old Male 81 Pounds My adoption fee includes: microchip, neuter, free exam, reduced-cost training class, 1 month pet health insurance, leash/collar, food sample, toy & treat packet.

Certified Pre-Owned: an Overview from KBB.com, reprinted with permission

Certified Pre-Owned (CPO) cars are es Lease programs sentially top-quality, inspected used cars  An exchange policy backed by manufacturers' warranties.

You may have noticed that many vehicles Certified Pre-Owned Pros and Cons formerly known as "used" are now termed During these hard economic times, credit "Certified Pre-Owned" or "CPO." These pro- is a lot harder to get than it used to be. Shopgrams originated in the Luxury category due to pers who would ordinarily have searched for a the high rate of off-lease vehicles populating new car might no longer qualify for a loan of the market in the recent past. Because these that size. Fortunately, they have a less-costly vehicles were in great shape and had lower alternative: the Certified Pre-Owned (CPO) car. mileage, manufacturers took a serious interest Regular used-car buyers also are temptin ensuring that they delivered a positive pur- ed by CPO vehicles, which reduce some of the chase and ownership experience. As a result, inherent risk. No used car is perfect, but certithey began to "refurbish" these vehicles and fied models undergo a comprehensive, pointadd warranties and special financing. by-point inspection. Certified Pre-Owned cars also include warranty coverage.

What are some of the features of a CPO veSome people simply won't be satisfied hicle program? with anything that's not new. Others are wholly A variety of organizations have jumped content with used cars. They're willing to take on the Certified Pre-Owned bandwagon, in- on the possibility of dealing with a few probcluding dealers and several third-party suppli- lems. ers.

Pro: Certified cars produce "peace of mind" Most certified used vehicle programs: A sense of security is the main attraction  Include only vehicles that are under 5 of purchasing a Certified Pre-Owned model. years Like new-car buyers, folks who drive home a  Have mileage limits of less than 100,000 certified used car shouldn't have to worry  Use only vehicles that have had no major about breakdowns and costly repairs. Although bodywork from prior accidents it's secondhand, the certified used vehicle is a  "Refurbish" the vehicle after a multi-step late-model that's been inspected prior to certiinspection fication.  Provide an extended warranty Nearly all manufacturers offer Additionally, some programs offer:  Consumer cash incentives  Low interest loans

a certification program, backed by the factory. factory warranty expires.

Other programs are established by the dealer or another organization, without factory spon- Con: Certified used cars cost more sorship. Some include a vehicle history report Inspection costs money. So does making from CARFAX or AutoCheck, which provides any repairs. Dealers may also pay a fee to the details on past accidents, and prior ownership. manufacturer to participate in a Certified PreOwned program, and the warranty has a price.

Pro: CPO cars are pre-selected and inspectAs a result, CPO cars are more expensive ed than a comparable non-certified model. How Factory certification programs, backed much more does a certified vehicle cost? For a by the car's manufacturer, have limits on age low-budget model, the price difference might and mileage. Depending on the automakers, be only a few hundred dollars. For a luxury car, cars eligible for certification must be no more it could be several thousand. Larger nonthan four to six years old, with a maximum of luxury cars might have a certification premium 50,000 to 80,000 miles on the odometer. Toyo- above $1,000. Kelley Blue Book adjusts its used ta stretches eligibility to seven years, and Por- -car values to reflect the added cost of a certische to eight. fied model. To help ease the blow, Certified Pre Dealers follow a checklist of inspection -Owned buyers might be entitled to special fipoints: typically, 100 to 160. Because they nancing, with more attractive terms. count those spots differently, the exact amount isn't important. You just want to know that the Con: It's still a used car, with potential for inspection has been comprehensive. problems When inspection reveals significant No matter how carefully it's been inproblems, repairs have to be made. For that spected, there's no guarantee that a certified reason, dealers would rather pick the "cream" used car will suffer no troubles over the next of the lot for certification. If the car is found to few years. All certification can do is reduce the be in good condition as it stands, little addi- risk. tional investment is needed to turn it into a Certified Pre-Owned model.

What To Look (and Lookout) For In A CPO Program Pro: Certified-car repairs are covered When checking out some of the certified through warranty period used programs available, here are some tips to CPO vehicles include a manufacturer- insure your own peace-of-mind in the transacbacked warranty that typically covers repairs tion: for a specified time period after the original

Certified Pre-Owned: an Overview (cont) from KBB.com, reprinted with permission

Tip #1: Inspect the points of the inspection Tip #2: Get the warranty the vehicle warEach program can boast well over a hun- rants dred points of inspection. It is safe to assume Each Certified Pre-Owned program ofthat the vehicle has been refurbished in these fers a specific, non-negotiable warranty. When areas if it passed the inspection through to cer- reviewing the warranties offered, research tification. The key to looking at these points is whether the particular model has a history of in identifying the major fixes that would have maintenance issues or transmission failures otherwise cost you a bundle. Remember, many and make a judgment call from that perspecof these points would be covered in a tune up, tive. If the brand of the vehicle is known for detailing or might even be part of a state safety quality and low maintenance, it might justify a inspection required for all used cars sold by shorter warranty. dealers.

Most programs offer an extended warranty beyond the CPO warranty, but each proKey inspection points: gram differs in cost and features. You also may  VIN Inspection (emissions, service & re- want to research whether the vehicle still has call, VIN code issues, etc. any of the original warranty left on it -- this  Road Testing (automatic transmission will only add to the length of the warranty shift points/slippage, drive axle; clutch; overall. steering; brakes/ABS, gauge operation)  Body Exterior (frame damage, accident Tip #3: Look for special incentives and finance deals repair) One of the most unique features of Certi Interior (airbag, dash light operation, fied Pre-Owned vehicles is that finance and smoker car?)  Powertrain (fluid leakages, water in oil, lease deals are being extended to a used vehicylinder compression reading, timing cle - which was virtually unheard of in the past.

Look closely to see what you can find... belt)  Fuel System (fuel pump, fuel lines, oil pressure)  Suspension/Steering (control arms, ball joints, tie rods, tire wear, alignment)  Brakes (calipers/cylinders, rotor, hydraulics, etc.)

Gear the Pros Use! Hailing from The Stack (Hayward, CA), Matt got his first guitar at age four. Since then a guitar, music in general, has always been close by and an integral part of his life. Around age 13 Matt also started playing saxophone. This guitar/saxophone combo continued through high school and college. During his early twenties Matt played with various bands ranging from rock to jazz to traditional Latin and Portuguese music.

Around 1994 Matt moved from the Bay Area in California to the Portland, Oregon area. For about ten years music took a back seat to work and family. It was during this time that Matt married his wife Michelle and the two of them started a family and a construction business.

After a few years Matt had returned to school and earned a degree in Civil Engineer ing. While in back in school, the urge to play music became too much to ignore, so in addi-  tion to his engineering course load, Matt also  took some music classes and played for several  years in a local cover band.

Tiring of the cover band scene Matt re-  turned to original music in Jan 2010. It was at  this time Earth to Ashes was formed.

'06 Ibanez S470 DXQM '04 Ibanez S470 DXQM '90 GMP Cus tom Prototype '88 Ibanez RG-56 0 '84 Fender Stratocas ter MESA Mark IVA  Morley Bad H orsie Wah  Morley George Lynch Dragon Wah 2  Digitech DS P 212 0  D'Addario XL (009-04 6)  Dunlop Ultex Jazz III picks  Mogami cables

Order in the Chaos Helpful Band Tip #10 - Knowing Your Tube Amp...

When you've been playing guitar for as long as I and many others have, you begin to appreciate tone over volume. Or, you look for the holy grail of scenarios by having tone and volume together in one amp.

Now, for me to break down every amp/cab scenario and every type of guitar or style/genre of music you play would just be silly, and nobody would read it anyway. Because it would take a novel, not a blog, to express everything. So I will only talk of personal experiences and knowledge.

First off, if you don't know already, I play hard rock guitar. And I grew up styling after all the guitar gods of the 70's-80's-90's. What that style of guitar playing entails is a loud, agressive core of an amp with the ability to pull harmonics out (both natural and pinched), and deliver them clearly. All while the amp is delivering massive sustain, tone, expression, and controllability.

Ah-hah... got ya, didn't I? should be screaming like crazy. Especially when The very last word i s I'm running two of them at the same time, both at the kicker. CONTROLLABILITY. The thing that about 3.5 on the volume. is so often sacrificed in order to acheive all the othBut they don't. ers.

They run warm, and quiet. But have such a You see, it isn't all that hard to pull a good massive crunch and when I stop playing on a tone or good volume/sustain from a tube amp of dime... my amp follows me in. It doesn't continue any type... if you drive it enough. But to keep it a harmonic, or a buzz, or a hum, or a mushy from screaming like a banshee when you stop play- squash-out of the chord or note. It just stops existing is almost impossible when you have the amp ing. Now, some of that may be attributed to playthat juiced up. And the hiss when you roll back on ing style, we can't discount that, but maybe my your volume on the guitar is almost unbearable if style has been developed more articulately because you plan on having any conversation with your I trust my amp? band mates.

Now we're talking.

To get all these terrific adjectives into my I also get magnificent sustain that will decay scenario, I switched away from Mesa Boogie and into a fluid and "blue" feedback that just soothes back to older Marshalls. When I say "older", I am out the phrase delicately. Not that irritating "red" talking 90's. I chose the JCM2000 DSL series. Not feedback that just grates the nerves and rattles your the re-issue that has no soul. But the tone-monger ear bones to dust. Think old Nugent (he had that 100 watt dual channel terror of the 90's club scene. cold, ice-blue feedback that sounded like a woundI have my Presence maxed, my treble at 9, mids ed rhino). at 2, bass at 10, and my ultra gain at 10. That head Now, just how do I get what I want out of

my amps, consistently night after night?

Easy, I took the time to understand what my amps can do. And if they couldn't quite do what I needed it to do, I investigated what it would take to acheive it. And I virtually FORGED my sound over years and trial & error.

Does all this mean I am saying my Marshalls are any better than Mesa Boogie? Hell no!!!

It's just that they were what I NEEDED to obtain the sound I wanted as opposed to what was given to me at the time of purchase.

So, whatever amp you choose, ask yourself a few questions about it:  Is my amp appropriate to my style of MUSIC?  Is my amp appropriate to my style of PLAYING?  Does my amp properly project what it is you are trying to do on the fretboard?  Is my amp LOUD enough? Or is it TOO loud for my genre?  If I make a change on my guitar (switch out pickups, change brands/models) will it adversely affect my amp's tone?  Is my amp able to be MODIFIED?  When was the last time you had your amp biased? Tubes changed out?

These are all highly important things to consider and address before you can let yourself go and trust your amp. Because, let's face it, nothing sucks worse than when you step to the front of that stage and hit that amazing note you've been working on only to have it fail to set you up into that killer solo...

Brien DeChristopher is the guitarist and primary songwriter for Seattle Seale-based hard rock band "Agents Of Chaos". He has played in numerous live and recording bands over the years where he has logged countless hours on stage in live performance, and studio recording time.

You can see this and other Pearls of Wisdom at http://www.blogster.com/briendechristopher/

"inexperience"... he didn't. Not once. "Mr. Hernandez" (as I now respectfully call him) played every, single note in his set perfectly and no doubt, schooled a few long time "Guitar Gods" in the crowd on the proper way to play a guitar.

Opening up the night was Immediately after the set "The Paul Hernandez Trio" from ended and the applause died down, Riverside, California. I know, the I looked around at the crowd's reacopening act is always supposed to tion. Every person in attendance be the less-talented, up and comer stood there with their mouths agape trying to get their foot in the door.

-- stunned. It was nothing short of Not so on this night... not so at all. amazing and would have made greats like Stevie Ray, Clapton and Hendrix nod in approval.

If you're lucky; a few times in your life you will witness one of the true greats in action, a musician The 21 year old Paul Herwho just seems to have been born nandez took the stage with his beatwith "the gift". Someone who can en up gold Fender Stratocaster and pick up an instrument and effortlessmade it abundantly clear that he and ly push it to its limits. This was one his band were not going to mess of those rare nights. And this was around. Their set was filled with just the opening band! heavy, bluesy rock that was the textbook definition of the word "tight". I Reigning next on the bill was mean, this kid is barely old enough "Leona X". This band from Seattle to buy himself a beer and I kept is fronted by smoking' hot front waiting; patiently waiting for him to woman "Leona X" who hits the miss a lick, to "call it in" or do stage like a sexy lioness sporting a s o m e t h i n g t o e x p o s e h i s skin tight, black leather outfit comThe "Sin City Rock Party" by "Guitars Under the Stars" took place at the Hard Rock Cafe and was without a doubt one of the heaviest nights of hard rock in 2014.

lead and takes her six-string From the first note to the last, they Epiphone all the way to the ground; brought a heavy, upbeat sound and Jimi Hendrix style. She proves to had the wildest, most high energy the captivated onlookers that she's set of the night. "Divide the Day" not only incredibly sexy and a great clearly plays to the beat of their own musician... she's also an amazing drummer and in a world of knockentertainer. Leona X demands your offs and copycats, their originality is attention and once she has it you a beautiful thing. can't look away.

plete with stiletto boots featuring a big "X" on the side. She's oozing sex appeal and gets my attention right away. This three-piece proceeds to belt out their own brand of hard and heavy rock and the fists in the crowd immediately go up in the air.

Midway through the first song, Leona X goes into her solo and now the word is out on the street... this woman can play.

Near the end of the set on Up next was Valora… First their song "Love at First Feel", "Divide the Day" -- a 4 piece of all, take a second to imagine your Leona X goes into another blistering from L.A. was the next on the line favorite rock band. Now imagine up of great bands who hit the stage your favorite rock band without a that night. Don't be fooled by their mustaches and starched white shirts.

These guys know how to rock.

guitar player. So where am I going The final band to perform on with this? this epically memorable night was Well, it turned out that Val- "Nadir" – a profound mix of hard ora's guitar player was a no-show at rock and heavy funk. This four piece the last second. I only got to hear fusion band is fronted by veteran what Valora sounded like... minus rocker "Nadir D'Priest" of the '80s the guitar. They put out a good ef- glam metal band "London" (you fort and each member gave it 100% may remember "London" from the but I really can't give a fair assess- legendary '80s metal documentary ment of their performance without "The Decline of Western Civilizathe guitar. They had a sound similar tion II: The Metal Years"). Nadir to Evanescence... without the guitar. D'Priest not only rocked the vocals Needless to say, after the gig, I that night, he also rocked the tamchecked out their videos "I Waited bourine, maracas, drums and a slew for You" and "Extreme" and they of other instruments as well. This are a solid band. It's just a shame front man truly defines the term they weren't at full strength that "more cowbell" (yes, he plays that night. too).

Nadir's musicianship is technical and precise - but seriously We all went for the same reason. smooth and fun. Their style: hard We all wanted to rock out and to and heavy - yet groovy and carefree. have a good time. We all went there Their performance: high energy -- for the music. yet laid back and cool. It's clear that Nadir is a group of veteran musicians who have "been there and done that". They've seen trends come and go. Seen the gimmicks come and go. At the end of the day, they know why they're still playing music. They know what they like, and they know what they want to hear.

Everyone at the "Sin City Rock Party" -- musicians and attendees alike, all had the same thing in common. We weren't there for "status" or "money" or to "pose".

100% original progressive/power metal from the Pacific NorthWest CV WW: Tell our readers who's had never really had a chance to original drummer Rochelle get together. Finally, it turned out Parche. Man that chic could in the band and their role?

Matt Dorado: Currently, the line that we were both available and pound the crap out of a drum set. up consists of Mark Raney on looking for a new original prodrums, Larry Massengale on gui- ject. So, we got together for a jam CV WW: Tell us about the name, tar, Angelo Jensen on bass and and a few beers. It seems like where did it come from? lead vocals, and myself, Matt Do- there is always beer, and/or alco- Matt: Well, we kicked around hol involved when Angelo and I names for a long time. Probably a rado, on guitar and lead vocals. get together. HaHaHa I had been good 6 months. Finally, Angelo CV WW: Tell us about the begin- in a cover band for about 7 years and Ro said that we should just ning, who founded the band, and was really ready to do some- call the band Dorado. I was what was the catalyst behind thing original. If I had to play against it at first. I really wanted it?

Mary Jane‟s last dance again I the band to be a “band” and not Matt: Well the band started in just might have gone on a shoot- considered my project. But I do January of 2010. Angelo and I ing spree. Anyway, that was the like my name and it had some had been in touch for a while but birth of E2A, Angelo, me and our good imagery aspects. Unfortu-

nately, there was already a band like what kind music you‟re do- the wives get along is HUGE! No here in Portland called Dorado ing… The list goes on and on. one wants to deal with that draand they had been here for over With this group it was Angelo ma.

10 years. When I called them to and me. Then we added Ro who find out more about why they was the wife of a coworker. Over CV WW: Who do you guys count chose Dorado, turns out they the last three years we have add- as your musical influences? were really cool guys, too. So, ed Larry on guitar and Mark is Matt: As a group we have a very one day at rehearsal we were go- our 6th drummer. We‟ve had a wide range of influences. Angelo ing through tunes. One of our heck of a time with drummers. is a big fan of 70‟s rock like KISS, tunes was a reworked version of a But I think we‟ve finally found Aerosmith and Priest. Larry is song Angelo had written called our guy. We‟ve been kicking more of a jam band kind of guy Earth to Ashes. After practice I around the idea of adding a key- but also like quirky stuff like Zapmentioned that I thought Earth boardist but it has mostly been an pa. He‟s also a big RUSH fan.

Mark is also a big RUSH fan but to Ashes was a great band name. internal discussion. also likes some of the more proThe other two agreed and the CV WW: What is it about THIS gressive stuff. Me I‟m a big prog name stuck. combination that you think guy now. But I cut my teeth on CV WW: Talk to us about the works so well?

Motown and funk stuff, didn‟t journey to find the right combi- Matt: You know I don‟t know. I really get into rock until I was in nation of musicians ... guess finding the right group of about the 8th grade.

Matt: Is the journey over? I don‟t people is a bit like how that judge think so. Finding the right people described porn. Something along CV WW: Have you guys always to play in a band with is a pain in the lines of you can‟t really define wanted to play music, or were the ass. I mean think of how hard it but you know it when you see there other interests when you it is to find that right person to it. This group of guys just clicks were younger? marry and spend your life with. musically and as people. We all Matt: You know I haven‟t had Now add to that in a band the get along really well. The wives this discussion with Larry or person has to have a specific skill all get along. Which when you‟re Mark so I don‟t know. But as for like guitar or bass. They have to married and in a band, having Angelo and I it has always been

music. I remember my dad com- dromeda, Circus Maximus and of lyrics. Sometimes I‟ll have a riff ing to see me play one time in course Dream Theater. The play that I‟ll bring in or (like with San Francisco. I was about 24 list is rounded out by some old Curse Invoked) Angelo gave me and playing in a Latin Rock/ and new Accept and some Alca- song titles and I wrote the music Latin Jazz type band. After the trazz with both YJM and Vai. off the song titles. Then Ange finshow he said “This is really what ished out the lyrics to tell the stoCV WW: What do you hope to you want to do with your life, isry. I guess what I‟m trying to say accomplish with your music, n‟t it?” I just looked at him. I is there is no real message other what message do you try to mean I‟ve been telling him for than “Here is what I was feeling about 20 years that it was what I convey? or thinking at this moment. I wanted to do. Pretty much since I Matt: Hmmm good question. My hope you like it.” thought is that there are two got my first guitar at age 4. kinds of musicians, one plays be- CV WW: What motivates the CV WW: What other bands do cause they like to and one plays guys to keep improving, to keep you guys listen to during down- because they have to. I am defi- expanding your horizons as time and relaxation, what’s on nitely one of the latter. It is such musicians and a band?

YOUR music player? a part of me as a person. I need Matt: Funny, Ange and I just Matt: In the times that we have to play in order to keep centered had this conversation last night. I gone on road trips Mark and Lar- and to feel normal. If I go too personally can‟t stand to just sit ry overdose on Zappa and long without playing I really start and be stagnant musically. I RUSH. Our last few they have to get stressed out and irritable. mean there is ALWAYS somebeen very heavy on the Zappa. So, creating and playing music I thing to learn whether it‟s a playAngelo likes a lot of Power Metal do first and foremost for myself, ing technique, things about my like Primal Fear, Kobra and the then if people like it, all the bet- gear, recording, orchestration, Lotus, and of course Judas Priest. ter. For what message I guess I songwriting… the list goes on Me, I am pretty heavy prog guy. should talk about the writing pro- and on. As a musician I listen to Right now on the phone I have cess. For E2A I write 99% of the other players like Petrucci or Vai. Pagan‟s Mind, Symphony X, An- music. Angelo writes 99% of the You know, guys that have in-

spired me for years. But I also try mile radius of Portland there are I won‟t play due to various reato keep up with new players like only three other larger metro are- sons but for the most part we just Andy James, Marco Sfolgi and as: Seattle, Spokane, and Boise. always look forward to the next Guthrie Govan. Those guys are show.

CV WW: Do you guys feel any incredible and there is so much to learn. Really, you listen to those “friendly competition” with the CV WW: Tell us about a particularly memorable show that reguys and you are either inspired Seattle music scene? to practice and get better or Matt: Ha, another recent conver- ally made it all worthwhile for throw all your gear in the fire- sation and the answer is no. To you guys. Now, tell us about a me it‟s just another city 2.5 hours show that made you think place. away with worse traffic than “damm, is this really worth it?”

CV WW: Tell us about the Port- Portland.

Matt: Hmmm that‟s a tough one. land music scene - what are Honestly, I can‟t think of one your impressions of local music CV WW: How has the response show that made me go “Yes, this there? been from the shows you are is it!” Granted there are shows Matt: You know Portland is playing? that are better than others. We strange little city. Of course it is Matt: The shows always get a have a couple sayings in the known for the whole indie/alt good response. We are more band. One is “Getting closer.” scene and strip clubs of course. known for our live show than our Because things are never perfect And that is still what dominates studio work. I mean I think the but if we work hard we can get the music scene here. But there is CD is cool and I put a lot of closer. The other is “One fan at a a growing metal scene and some blood, sweat and tears into the time.” That‟s how we are buildreally good bands. But I don‟t release. But if you really want to ing our fan base, one fan at a think it will ever be a harder experience E2A I think you need time. So if we are playing a show rock/metal town. Too many hip- to get out to a show. to the bartender and his dog, they sters, hippies and lovers of the are going to get as good as a squishy singer songwriter stuff. CV WW: Do you have a favorite show from us as a 10,000 seat HaHaHa city or venue to play? arena. And our goal is to make So, as a band we have been made Matt: The next one. I really like that one person a fan for life. it a focus to get out of Portland as the venues here in Portland. All much as we can. Pretty much an- the staff at the local venues treat CV WW: What kind of pressure ything within 300 miles is fair us well and do their best to make do you feel, if any, to produce a game. It is a time when you re- us look and sound as good as successful record? How much gret living out west. Things are so they can. There are a couple ven- pressure is there to “produce” spread out that even with a 300 ues, I won‟t mention names, that with every new musical offer-

plete control of their music. And touring and merch sales. But then ing?

Matt: Well I think you feel that you‟re able to get your music our making a living as a musician has with every recording you do. Or there via FB, Twitter, Youtube always been a crapshoot. at least you should. I mean really and all the music sites that pick who wants to put a piece of shit up your stuff. I found a couple CV WW: Sooo, Social Media platrecording out there? But, our sites yesterday that I didn‟t know forms...savvy PR tools or necesevil? pressure is internal since we re- existed, that had all our stuff. sary Matt: Both.

A necessary evil that leased the CD on our own label, This is a plus and a minus. You Iron Taco. We don‟t have the may be able to get exposure but you really need to be savvy at. concern of a record label execu- that doesn‟t necessarily translate tive canceling our project or our into album sales. Music is so ac- CV WW: What is it about your contract. We are in complete cessible that people are not as ea- music that you feel appeals to control. Of course that comes ger to pay for it anymore. Not fans? with its own list of pressures like that musicians ever made a lot Matt: I would like to think that “How the hell are we going to from album sales but the industry people like the groove. Yet are pay for all this shit.” and if the as a whole has seen the revenue kept interested by the small time recording sucks musically, mix- stream cut down a lot. So now changes and left turns I try to put ing whatever, everyone knows you are basically relegated to in the songs. I would also hope who to blame. HaHaHa CV WW: Let’s talk about the music industry today...and social media...music distribution is much different now, do you see that as progress? The ability to market/sell individual songs, does that benefit the industry as a whole?

Matt: The music industry, hmmm. Wow this is a whole conversation in itself. For starters, the music industry has never been about the musician. And this goes back centuries. Musicians, hell artists in general, have always needed some sort of patron. Bach had the church. Michelangelo had Popes Julius II and Leo. Mozart had the Archbishop of Salzburg. And since the 50‟s there were the record companies. The issue with the system is that the musician, although doing the creating and the performing, is not the business person. And if you‟re not a business person, you‟re gonna get screwed. That‟s just the way it is.

Now, with social media and digital media, the artist can take com-

that new cohesive voice to come through on the project. There were too many lineup changes that occurred over the first three years that all the songs have a very different feel.

So with Curse we decided to write 11 new tunes. Not only 11 new songs but, we decided to do a concept album about a cursed serial killer.

So like I said the process was about 16 months in total. The drums and vocals were recorded at Opal Studios here in Portland.

Then all the guitars and bass were recorded at my home that on some level they can relate ally shipped CDs to Columbia, “studio” which is really just a to the lyrical content. Ange has a Brazil, Ireland, Wales, Germany, computer and a desk where you way of writing that leaves the lis- Greece… It still amazes me that have to dodge the kids and the tener with a lot of room for inter- these people even know who we dog. pretation and space for their im- are.

Then we went back to Kevin agination to fill in the gaps. The cd was a lot of work. From Hahn at Opal Studios for mixing conception to printing was about and mastering.

CVWW: What can fans expect to 16 mos. Even though we had It was a lot of work and there are see at a show? plenty of material to record I con- so many things you have to do Matt: 100% effort! We really try vinced the guys to start from besides just record like promotion and give everything we have for scratch and write a whole new and artwork. The artwork, by the the time that we are up on stage. album. This was met with blank way, was drawn by Angelo‟s And like I said earlier if you real- stares and disbelief. But I felt that brother Frank. I think he did a ly want to experience E2A, you the older material, while cool, fabulous job in capturing our idehave to come to a show. Ange is was not representative of the cur- as and making them real. really fun to watch. I do my best rent lineup. And I really wanted to keep up but mostly just try to stay out of his way. Hahaha CV WW: “CURSE INVOKED” came out July 3rd, 2014 how has it been received so far? Tell us about the process of putting out a CD - was it harder or easier than you expected? If I read it right, that was your first “full length” CD… Matt: Yea the cd came out in July. It‟s done ok so far considering outside of a small Portland community we are an unknown band.

Despite that we have sold cd‟s around the world. I have person-

CV WW: “Guitars under the my ability. I‟ll probably never be Western Oregon in August.

Stars” in Lebanon, OR - were a MacAlpine. I mean that guy is CV WW: Do any of your songs you a bit intimidated by shar- so clean it‟s scary. ing the stage with some of What I took away really had speak to you on a deep personal those heavy hitters? What, if nothing to do with music really level? anything, were you able to take but more had to do with the Matt: You know I think because sense of community. Getting to I don‟t write the lyrics the songs away from that experience?

Matt: The whole Guitars festival meet Tony MacAlpine was great. have a different meaning to me. was incredible. The two guys that Super cool guy. I also got to When I think of songs that touch put the festival on, Jeff and Ja- spend some good quality time me on a personal level it‟s norson, have cahones the size of with Nilli Brosh, Bruce Boulette, mally because of the lyrics. A Manhattan. They have put on Gary Hoey, and Larry Mitchell. song like, this is not going to be other shows in Oregon but noth- That time was really the highlight very metal, „Butterfly Kisses” hits ing of this magnitude. For a first of the weekend. Sitting around me hard because I have two year festival it turned out really drinking beer, talking music and daughters (NOTE: the Pres has a gear. In getting back to your ear- daughter and understands). So well.

As far as intimidated, I don‟t lier question about what was a the story in that song really hits a think so. I mean I can only play memorable show that made me vulnerable place in my heart. An the way I play. Maybe nervous think “yes!” this is so what I instrumental song that touches about not playing well is a better want to do. It would be this me would be the theme from way to describe how I was feel- show. Actually you guys should Schindler‟s List. The melody is so ing. I really wanted to play well come out next year. It‟s a great haunting and Itzak plays it with and do what I do to the best of weekend of music in beautiful such passion. Ugh my stomach is

in a knot just thinking about that some tapping riffs. I got the stink neering income. Our goal over song. eye for that. HaHaHa the next 3-5 years would be to For our songs they are normally record a few more cd‟s and to CV WW: Do you think you’d do centered around something I break into the overseas market. anything different up to this wanted to do musically as opPlay some of those festivals in point, give the wisdom of time? posed to something emotional. I Europe. That would be so aweWhat would you tell a younger try and set a mood but as best I some! version of yourself? can based on the titles but that‟s Matt: Take more chances. That CV WW: Okay, what’s in store about all I can do. would be my advice. I‟ve always for the remainder of 2014 and CV WW: How do you think been a fairly safe guy. Methodi- into 2015? What other big proyou’ve grown as a band and as cal. I‟m not very emotional. And jects are in the works? musicians?

I think I missed out on some op- Matt: Well we have one last Matt: I would like to think that portunities because of that. On show in December here in Portwe grow every week. Just getting the other side my life now is land. We are going to be permore and more used to each oth- great. I have an awesome wife forming Curse in its entirety er‟s tendencies as players and gel- that I‟ll be married to for 20 years along with some older stuff. Set ling as a band I think happens come December and two daugh- timed out at a little over 90 min every time we get together. I ters that are the world to me. So for 17 songs. So it should be a hope our song writing continues maybe I did make all the right pretty epic night. For 2015 it‟s play, play, play. January is the to evolve. There is so much to choices. annual trip to Anaheim for learn musically about how to set a mood or set up a chord or key CV WW: Where do you think you NAMM. It‟s always a great party change. And yet you also have are in the journey of Earth to and a chance to meet up with your own creativity and are really Ashes? Where do you see the people from all over that you only limited by your imagination. band in 3-5 years? Idealistic don‟t get to hang out with very often. We have also started preAs musicians we are constantly and realistic? growing. I play things now that I Matt: Idealistic, we are the next production on 11 of the older couldn‟t have done 10 years ago. Iron Maiden!! HaHaHa Really tunes. And release that CD hopeAngelo talks about this a lot. the goal would be to be able to fully before Xmas. All the while How he had been a “play the play music full time. But realisti- writing the next CD. We have a root” kind of bassist. And now I cally to break even at the end of few tunes written already but I have him playing inversions and the year would be great; to be don‟t see those songs getting rectime changes. I told him on the able to support the band off the orded until late 2015 early 2016. next cd he going to have to learn band income and not my Engi-

CVWW: Any final words you would like to convey to your fans?

Matt: If you‟re in the NW and can get out to a show please do.

We really enjoy meeting and talking to people. If you‟re somewhere else in the world stop by the FB page or the website and post something even if it‟s just “Hi” The beauty of the internet is being able to make and keep connections, so let‟s do that.

EARTH TO ASHES Facebook ReverbNation

5 Ways to Convince Your Girlfriend to

Let You Ride A Motorcycle

from AskMen.com, reprinted with permission

You’ve got that itch to luck. Whatever combination across various countries with get out of your cage on wheels turns out to work for you, various quasi-adopted chiland experience the world for there is something to be said dren. what it is. Some way or anoth- for appealing to both her raShaquille O’Neil and Arer, you’ve realized that tional and emotional sides, nold Schwarzenegger are both "operating" a car is like watch- with a little bit of nostalgia ing reality television on ster- thrown in for good measure. oids -- only the couch moves So here are five ways to help and the sound system is you convince her to let you live (possibly) better. But the ques- the good life on two wheels. tion is: How do you convince your girl to let you ride on two All The Cool Dudes Are wheels without foregoing inti- Doing It macy for a week, or a month Elvis Presley, Steve or… ever?

McQueen and James Dean all The answer requires art earned their leather jackets. and science, plus a little bit of Brad Pitt rides with Angelina

badasses on motorbikes. Tom economy, perhaps you should riding with a cape might be a Cruise made the Ninja iconic in point out that motorcycles little much, but rolling up to Top Gun. Ben Affleck rides save you money, both up front the party in full leathers is (perhaps with his Oscar in his and in the long term. To start backpack), while Ryan Gosling with the obvious, there’s the uses one as a quick escape typical price of buying new. from the pre-teen hordes who While a top-of-the-line 2013 hound him to relive various Kawasaki ZX-6R will set you scenes from The Notebook. back $12,699, a stock Toyota George Clooney looks better Corolla will cost you $16,230. on one than he did in Ocean’s One of these goes 0-60 in a Eleven. Ewan McGregor, aka matter of seconds; one makes Obi-Wan Kenobi, uses it to tap sure you won’t get laid on a into the force and run over first date. You can often pick dark Lords of the Sith (known up a decent used bike for anyin Hollywood as PR profes- where between $2,000 and completely acceptable. If you sionals). Harrison Ford had $4,000, or a brand-new entry- want to get her thinking about one, which makes up for his level bike in the 300 cc catego- how good you’ll look in front horrible fourth Indy moviein ry for around $5,000. The only of her friends, take her to your Hollywood as PR profession- used car I know that costs nearest bike shop and put on a als). Harrison Ford had one, $2,000 has a giant dildo at- helmet and some body armorwhich makes up for his horri- tached to the hood, as seen in reinforced leathers. Dare her ble fourth Indy movie. James the very adept comedy Idiocra- to tell you that you don’t look Bond has been known to ride cy. Then there’s the insurance like the modern day equivalent in a tux. Jay Leno owns more factor. Insuring my bike costs a of a knight. The advances in than I care to count. Michael grand total of about $200 per motorcycle gear these days ofJordan straddled an engine, as year. ten give you the appearance of did Charles Lindbergh, Clint Finally, you can talk sporting a Halo suit. So, if you Eastwood, Lawrence of Arabia, about gas. A tank that can take ever find yourself in a tough Marlon Brando and Bob Dylan. you 200 miles costs $14 to fill spot, needing to back up a budHell, even Fabio knows what’s up, with premium. The result: dy or defend your girl’s honor, up.

You can take her on a romantic you’ve got a leg up on anybody trip to Paris. Or buy her jewel- who’s dumb enough to try and ry, or other things that actually touch you. Then there’s the matter more than jewelry. Like whole saving the planet thing. a microwave oven. That state- Better MPG means your carment is not chauvinistic if your bon footprint isn’t nearly as girl likes to cook. Which, if big as that bro in his raised true, means you should proba- truck or even the chick in the bly also buy her a ring with all Mazda 3. In other words, you’ve got that Captain Planet More Money To Spend On your savings. thing going on.

Her In the extremely rare Everybody Wants to Date a case you’re not making mil- Superhero Time Is Important lions in this super-awesome Unless you’re Batman, Time is money and mon-

5 Ways to Convince Your Girlfriend to Let You Ride A Motorcycle (cont) likely be this hater tomorrow.

The Ultimate Sell…

Take Her For A Ride

That means no popping wheelies between semis. The thrill of riding will be such that her arms will automatically wrap around you. If you’re good, you’ll be rewarded in the end for being a time-, moneyand planet-saving superhero whose alter-ego is named Elvis Schwarzenegger of Arabia.

In Toto... ey is time, but if you had to If you really think you’re pick one, it seems that time is a minivan type of guy, then you the thing we never have shouldn’t have started reading enough of. So instead of wastIt’s easy to be against this article in the first place. ing two hours of your life eve- riding motorcycles, until you But if you’re serious about exry day commuting in traffic, it ride one, that is. The best sell: ploring the two-wheel lifestyle, might be a good idea to high- have her hop on the back then you best get out there. light how much time you’ll (after you’re experienced Life is short and all too often save (and get to spend with enough to handle her added people go their entire lives her) if you commute on a bike weight, of course). The easiest without really living. So swing rather than in a car. This will way to make this happen a leg over an iron steed and enalso help with your anger man- might simply be to roll up to joy the wind in your face. If agement issues, as you’ll be her house with an extra hel- she’s worth it, she’ll underless apt to succumb to road met. If she’s the adventurous stand. rage due to grandma and type, she’ll hop right on. If she AskMen.com grandpa chilling in the fast requires a little more convinclane. Trust me when I say this: ing, you might need to use But if she doesn’t and all There’s nothing better than those crazy good negotiating else fails, there’s always Plan zooming by hundreds of peo- skills you’ve perfected through B...good luck with that... ple sitting in bumper-to- your parents, or guilt her into bumper traffic who all inher- giving it a shot so you’ll finally ently hate you and want to be forgive her for that time she you. (DISCLAIMER: Lane- went out with her girlfriends splitting is only legal if you live to Chippendales. Whatever in California.) You’ve probably method you use, make sure been this hater yourself. Un- you don’t act like a total jackless you get a bike, you’ll most ass when she’s riding pillion.

Gear the Pros Use! Allegra Granite Drum kit      

22" kick drum 10" rack tom 12" rack tom 13" floor tom 15" floor tom 13" snare

Zildjian Cymbals       

15" Zildjian Custom A crash 16" Zildjian Custom A crash 18" Zildjian Custom A crash 22" Zildjian Ping ride 20" Zildjian China 8" Zildjian splash 10" Zildjian splash 8" Zildjian bell 13" Zildjian hi hat

Born and raised right here in Portland,  Oregon, Mark was gifted with his first drum  set when he was only 5 years old! His early influences were Motown and the Beatles, DW 8000 DP pedal then he heard Led Zeppelin and Rush, and DW Hi hat stand the rest is history. He started playing seriousDW Hardware and DW 9000 cymbal stands ly at age 14, with his brother Rick on the bass. He has played in a variety of bands, in- Pork Pie throne cluding Sacred Ties, Burn Again Mission, Josephine Ocean, Cement, and Sky Blue Mind, Vic Firth 5A Hickory sticks to name a few.

Remo heads

Mark took time off from playing live a couple years after getting married to his wife Jennifer in 2000. He continued to practice and did some studio work. He was lured back into playing live at the Monsters of Rock initial show at Dante's in 2012. Hooked up with Larry at the 3rd MOR show in February of 2013, which eventually led him to Earth to Ashes.