April 5, 2022 — Westfield

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SEMPER FI Westfield City Council member retires after 30 years as a Marine reservist / P12

State legislators to vote to override HB 1041 veto / P3

Council approves extra acre for Grand Millenium / P5

Former chief of staff’s father killed in crash / P7

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April 5, 2022

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W I TH THE 5 0 0 F E ST I VAL I N 2022!

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April 5, 2022

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Contact the editor:

Have a news tip? Want to submit a calendar event? Have a photograph to share? Contact Managing Editor Anna Skinner at anna@youarecurrent.com or call 317.489.4444 ext. 804. You may also submit information on our website, currentinwestfield.com.

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Celebrate with Us! We just turned 31 but we don’t look a day over 29!

Fishers representative confident state will override veto of House Bill 1041

By Anna Skinner anna@youarecurrent.com State Rep. Chris Jeter (R-Fishers) said he and State Rep. Michelle Davis (R-Whiteland) co-authored House LEGISLATURE Bill 1041 to protect the integrity of women’s sports.

HB 1041 states that athletes who were biological males at birth can’t compete in Indiana High School Athletic Association-sanctioned girls sports if they have transitioned to a female. The bill does not apply to women who are transitioning to men and want to compete in IHSAA-sanctioned boys sports. The bill doesn’t affect college or professional sports, but it does affect private and charter schools if athletes compete against an IHSAA-member public school.

“Men typically tend to have stronger, faster builds than women,” Jeter said. “All we are trying to do is say identify however you want, but biological men don’t need to compete with biological women.”

The bill passed the Indiana House and Senate chambers but was vetoed by Gov. Eric Holcomb March 21. Jeter said he’s confident the House and the Senate will vote to override the veto May 24. “(Davis) and I just talked to a lot of constituents in our districts and saw things going on at a national level. It was becoming more prominent, and we just really felt it was important to get out ahead of it and protect the integrity of women’s sports,” Jeter said. “This bill acknowledges the biological differences between men and women.”

Jeter said men who have transitioned to women and then compete in women’s sports puts biological female competitors at a disadvantage. Lia Thomas, a trans woman and swimmer for the University of Pennsylvania, recently won the women’s 500-yard freestyle in the NCAA at the March 17 Division I swimming championships. The competition was Thomas’ final as a college athlete.

Jeter said a majority vote would override

Holcomb’s veto. Holcomb issued a letter March 21 on why he vetoed the bill. He stated the bill fell short of providing clarity and one consistent policy for K-12 sports. Holcomb also said when similar legislation was passed in other states, lawsuits followed.

“Moreover, even before the introduction of (House Enrollment Act) 1041, a lawsuit was filed in Indiana in federal court by a middle-grade student who Jeter seeks to play in school sports on the team of their choice. Any bill brought forward should address the issues raised in these lawsuits,” the letter stated.

“Finally, the presumption of the policy laid out in HEA Ford 1041 is that there is an existing problem in K-12 sports in Indiana that requires further state government intervention. It implies that the goals of consistency and fairness in competitive female sports are not currently being met. After thorough review, I find no evidence to support either claim even if I support the overall goal.”

Holcomb said there has not been a single case of a male wanting to compete on a female team that has completed a process to do so established by the IHSAA. State Sen. J.D. Ford (D-Indianapolis) posted a Facebook status in support of Holcomb’s veto on March 22.

“I want to thank Governor Holcomb for

“Men typically tend to have stronger, faster builds than women. All we are trying to do is say identify however you want, but biological men don’t need to compete with biological women.”

– CHRIS JETER

his veto of HB 1041. We agree on many of the reasons why this legislation is unnecessary,” Ford stated. “The Governor rightly points out that ‘It implies that the goals of consistency and fairness in competitive female sports are not currently being met. I find no evidence to support either claim.’ We know from testimony that there has only been one relevant case in Indiana, and that was handled by the IHSAA. Governor Holcomb Holcomb also rightfully notes that ‘Nowhere in the testimony on this legislation was a critique leveled against their (IHSAA) model on how to govern this.’ We have a system in place to deal with any concerns Schaibley of unfairness as or if they arise. In the meantime, let’s let kids play sports with their friends.”

State Rep. Donna Schaibley (R-Carmel) voted in favor of the bill and plans to vote to override Holcomb’s veto.

“Our goal is to protect women’s sports.

I remember when women didn’t have the same rights they have today to play sports and fairly compete,” Schaibley said. “My fear is that we’re inadvertently undoing all of the good that Title IX did for girls and young women. This legislation simply upholds the values of equality and fairness.”

Jeter said the bill was heavily debated, and there were seven or eight hours of testimony in the Senate. He said he hasn’t considered authoring another bill addressing the same topic for women who transition to men and who want to compete in men’s sports.

“I think we will continue to listen to feedback we get from constituents and pursue those issues accordingly,” Jeter said.

If the veto is overridden, the law would go into effect July 1. To read the veto letter, visit in.gov/gov/files/Veto-HEA-1041.pdf.

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April 5, 2022

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April 5, 2022

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Council unanimously approves extra acre for Grand Millennium

By Anna Skinner anna@youarecurrent.com Westfield City Council members unanimously approved an amendment adding an extra acre to the DEVELOPMENT Grand Millennium mixed-used development at its March 28 meeting.

Grand Millennium is being developed south of Park Street and on both sides of Westfield Boulevard.

The Westfield Washington Public Library will now be built on the land acquired at the corner of Park Street and Westfield Boulevard. The library was previously slightly south of the parcel.

The acre was owned by Dan Moyer and is on the south side of Park Street on the western border. It is used for parking for Park Street patrons. Grand Millennium developers did a land swap with Moyer, who now owns part of the property previously in the western portion of the development.

“We wanted to move the library north,

but we couldn’t do that because that acre was not in the (planned unit development),” council member Scott Willis said.

Willis said the primary reason for shifting the library north was to improve its visibility.

Council President Mike Johns asked how long parking will continue at that location and if an alternative parking option was in motion. When construction begins on the parking lot, parking will be available at the old Hardee’s lot at 518 Park St. There also is parking in the lot east of Grand Junction Plaza.

The council unanimously approved the amendment, with Willis abstaining because he serves on the library board.

The council also discussed how the library is working with Westfield Washington Township on combining services at the new library when it opens, although nothing was approved.

Costs will be reduced by the township sharing a location with the library.

For more, visit westfield.in.gov.

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April 5, 2022

COMMUNITY

Current in Westfield currentinwestfield.com

Senior earns coaching honor

By Mark Ambrogi mark@youarecurrent.com

Business | Wealth Management | Personal

Westfield High School senior Gus Fanter is a self-described basketball nerd.

“Every guy, it doesn’t RECOGNITION matter if you’re great at basketball or never played basketball, everybody in the community does Student Impact,” Fanter said.

Student Impact is a faith-based organization in Westfield that works to build relationships with students. It offers sports leagues, such as basketball.

Fanter has coached since he was a freshman, He coached in the seventh- and eighth-grade league when he was a freshman. As a senior, he coached freshmen and sophomores.

Fanter, who played for a junior and senior team, was recently named the first Student Impact of Westfield Coach of the Year.

“I think I was well known around Student Impact being there for four years and talking to everyone,” Fanter said. “It was humbling to be the first person to get the trophy, which I was really excited about.”

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Westfield High School senior Gus Fanter earns the first Student Impact of Westfield Coach of the Year. (Photo courtesy of Student Impact of Westfield)

the Year Award to honor the many hours of community service that the coaches serve every season. Student Impact organizers asked the public, peers, players and parents/guardians to cast votes for the coaches.

Many of the coaches are high school students. Student Impact had more than 400 registered players and 90 coaches this past season.

April 5, 2022

COMMUNITY

Current in Westfield currentinwestfield.com

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CONSTRUCTION Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office responded to the intersection of 236th Street and Six Points Road March 28. (Photo courtesy of Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office)

WESTFIELD

Former chief of staff’s father killed in crash

Dr. Dale Snead, Orthopedic Surgeon

By Anna Skinner anna@youarecurrent.com Sheridan resident Claude V. Burtron, 76, was killed in a car crash at approximately 8:30 a.m. March 28. Burtron ACCIDENT is the father of Todd Burtron, the City of Westfield’s former chief of staff.

The accident occurred at the intersection of 236th Street and Six Points road in Sheridan. According to a press release from the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, a tractor trailer was traveling westbound on 236th Street and an SUV driven by Burtron was traveling southbound on Six Points Road. The front of the semi hit the driver’s side door.

Burtron was pronounced dead at the scene.

The Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office Crash Team is conducting the investigation.

Westfield Mayor Andy Cook alerted the city to the news prior to the March 28 Westfield City Council meeting.

“Former Chief of Staff Todd Burtron’s father was tragically killed in an automobile crash at 8:30 a.m.,” Cook said. “Todd was very close to his father. His mother died two to three years ago and it’s been a rough time for Todd.”

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DISPATCH Township offers programs for nonprofits – Westfield Washington Township has partnered with Hedges, a Central Indiana-based consulting firm, to support capacity building for 10 nonprofit organizations that provide services to Westfield residents. Many nonprofits do not have the resources available to attend trainings that are important for their growth and development.

Project: New roundabout Location: 161st Street and Union Street roundabout Expected completion: The intersection of 161st Street and Union Street will be closed for roundabout construction on or after April 13, but an expected completion timeline hasn’t been announced.

Project: Sanitary sewer project Location: Phase 1 occurred on Oak Road between 171st Street and 161st Street. It is expected to reopen this week. Phase 2 closed Oak Road between 161st Street and 151st Street. The closure started March 21 and will last for up to four weeks.

Expected completion: Late April Project: Chad Hittle Drive roundabout Location: A section of 191st Street from Tomlinson Road to U.S. 31 will be converted into a boulevard with a roundabout at Chad Hittle Drive.

Estimated completion: Drivers will continue to see construction signs and activity off the road, but no associated closures at this time.

Project: Median construction Location: A section of the Midland Trail is closed at Carey Road.

Expected completion: April 4

10767 Illinois Street, Carmel

CARMEL Project: Range Line Road reconstruction Location: 116th Street to Carmel Drive. The initial phase affects the right southbound lane of Range Line Road as crews replace a water main. Work resumed in mid-March with construction of a roundabout at Medical Drive followed by construction of a roundabout at 116th Street beginning in June.

Expected completion: Summer.

Project: Burial of transmission lines in the Arts & Design District Location: Main Street is closed at Veterans Way as lines are buried under and across Main Street. Detour using 4th Avenue SW, W. Elm Street and S. Range Line Road.

Expected completion: Main Street is expected to reopen April 1.

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April 5, 2022

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With multiple, convenient locations and appointments often scheduled within a few days of contact, it’s easy to take the next step toward a healthier, more comfortable life.

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April 5, 2022

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WESTFIELD FAMILY THANKS FIREFIGHTERS AFTER MEDIC RUN

Bank of Indiana

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1,000 Free Monthly Transaction Items The Atkinson family met with the Westfield firefighters of Station 81 to thank them after they responded to a medic run when 8-year-old Jordan Atkinson suffered a seizure in February.

Jordan is still undergoing testing, but the family has since learned he has a seizure disorder.

(Above) From left, Mayor Andy Cook, Paramedic Alan Hensley, firefighter Zach Abbott, Lt. Steve Lamp, Jordan Atkinson, firefighter EMT Brett Hanson, firefighter Cody Shipley, Fire Chief Rob Gaylor, Firefighter Justin Austad and Stacy Atkinson. (Right) Jordan Atkinson displays a drawing he made to thank the firemen who aided him after he suffered a seizure. (Photos by Rachel Greenberg)

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April 5, 2022

COMMUNITY

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FHS softball player sees success after overcoming vision issues

By Mark Ambrogi mark@youarecurrent.com Fishers High School senior softball player Hannah Abbott’s vision issues started in January 2021.

“I had a headache and blind spots in my eyes,” she said. “It affected my everyday life. I couldn’t drive, read or play softball. Not long after, I lost my passion for softball. I would have to sit out of practices some days because I couldn’t see enough to play safely.”

Eventually, Abbott said she realized that she didn’t have to play to have fun.

“I started to focus on my teammates and support them. I became the cheerleader in the dugout,” she said. “If I couldn’t play, I still wanted to be a part of the team. Once I thought about softball like this, slowly my passion for softball was there again. I would be lying to say that it wasn’t hard to stay positive. But my friends on the team were great and supported me the entire way.”

She has since been diagnosed with acute macular neuroretinopathy, which basically means that she has blind spots in her vi-

MEET HANNAH ABBOTT

Favorite athlete: Steph Curry Favorite TV show: “Law and Order: Special Victims Unit” Favorite subject in school? Math Favorite movie: “The Blindside” sion all the time.

“It’s like when you look up at the sun for too long,” she said. “I was able to make some improvements being on medicine and seeing a different eye specialist. But I live with it every day and have been able to push through it.”

In the first two games this season, Ab-

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Fishers High school softball player Hannah Abbott is seeing the ball better after treatment of her vision problems. (Photo courtesy of Hannah Abbott)

bott hit .750 with two home runs and seven RBIs. “I think I have improved most on seeing the ball, making contact with my bat and just becoming more confident in the box,” Abbott said. “Last season, I wasn’t able to

see or track the ball because of my vision problems. The offensive part of the game I wasn’t confident on anymore. I’ve been working hard this year to build up the confidence and help my team out.”

Fishers coach Daren James said Abbott was mainly used in a pinch-running role and played second base last season. She had only 11 at-bats with no hits or RBIs. “Quite a turnaround this year,” James said. “Hannah has been a great leader this year. She has been working hard on her hitting and it is paying off early this year.”

Abbott has moved from second base to first base.

“Honestly, I was taken by surprise when they put me at first, but so, far so good,” Abbott said.

James agreed it’s been a smooth transition.

“Her move to first has been very natural,” James said. “Hannah is a very good athlete.

She has a good arm and good foot speed.

She has really increased her strength in the weight room and she understands the game.”

Abbott plans to attend Purdue University and eventually wants to go into nursing.

April 5, 2022

COMMUNITY

Current in Westfield currentinwestfield.com

DISPATCHES New Culver’s under construction — Meyer Foods Management is constructing a new Culver’s restaurant at 146th Street and Gray Road. The restaurant is expected to open this summer.

Community First Bank hires Jeff Magginnis — Jeff Magginnis was recently hired as senior vice president and SBA program director. Magginnis joined Community First Bank in February and brings 29 years of industry experience to the team. For the past 22 years, he has been involved with commercial lending, increasingly focusing his time on delivering the U.S. Small Business Administration programs to small businesses in Indiana, Ohio, and Kentucky. Magginnis is a 1992 graduate of Wabash College with a degree in economics and has an MBA from Anderson University. Magginnis has lived in Westfield with his wife Joanna for 27 years.

They have three children ages 13 to 22.

F.C. Tucker stats — Westfield’s residential real estate market continued to see an uptick in home sale prices and time spent on market, compared to this time last year.

According to F.C. Tucker Company, homes in Westfield sold 18 days, or 36 percent faster compared to February 2021. The average sale price of a Westfield home also increased, up 25.9 percent to $489,453, compared to this time last year. The average price per square foot for homes in Westfield also increased, 25.3 percent, to $197.79.

Movies in the Plaza announced — Westfield Welcome recently announced a new program at Grand Junction Plaza called Movies in the Plaza. Each movie is free. Movies begin April 22 with “The Lorax”. Movies will be the fourth Friday of every month through October and begin at dusk. Other upcoming movies are “Inside Out” May 27, “PAW Patrol the Movie” June 24, “The Parent Trap (1998)” July 22, “Luca” Aug. 26, “Encanto” Sept. 9, “Raya and the Last Dragon” Sept. 23 and “Hocus Pocus” Oct. 28. A special screening of “Elf” will be Dec. 2 Westfield Education Foundation offers scholarships — The WEF is accepting scholarship applications from past Westfield High School graduates. Applications are accepted through April 22. Scholarships are available for four-year, two-year, vocational, trade and graduate programs. For the application, visit bit.ly/WEFScholarshipApplication2022.

To view frequently asked questions, visit bit.ly/WEFCommonlyAskedQuestions.

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Pursuant to the Fair Housing Act, this housing is intended for occupancy by at least one person 55 years of age or older per home, although the occupants of a limited number of the homes may be younger. Within this limited number, one member of the household must be 45 years or older with no one in permanent residence under 19 years of age. Existing and proposed amenities for the community are subject to changes, substitutions and/or deletions without notice. Lennar makes no representation or guarantee that the community or any amenities will be built out as currently planned. Please see your New Home Consultant and home purchase agreement for actual features designated as an Everything’s Included feature, additional information, disclosures, and disclaimers relating to your home and its features. Elevations of a home may vary and we reserve the right to substitute and /or modify design and materials, in our sole opinion and without notice. Please see your actual home purchase agreement for additional information, disclosures and disclaimers related to the home and its features. Stated dimensions and square footage are approximate and should not be used as representation of the home’s precise or actual size. Any statement, verbal or written, regarding “under air” or “finished area” or any other description or modifier of the square footage size of any home is a shorthand description of the manner in which the square footage was estimated and should not be construed to indicate certainty. Garage sizes may vary from home to home and may not accommodate all vehicles. Features, amenities, floor plans, elevations, square footage and designs vary per plan and community and are subject to changes or substitution without notice. Lennar makes no guarantee as to the availability of homes within the price ranges set forth above. Price subject to change without notice. Visit Lennar.com or see a Lennar New Home Consultant for further details and important legal disclaimers. This is not an offer in states where prior registration is required. Void where prohibited by law. This advertisement provided by Lennar Indianapolis located at 11555 N. Meridian Street, Suite 400, Carmel, IN 46032. To ensure delivery of future emails from Lennar, please add LennarIND@Lennar.com to your address book today. Copyright © 2022 Lennar Corporation Lennar, the Lennar logo and the Everything’s Included logo are U.S. registered service marks or service marks of Lennar Corporation and/or its subsidiaries. LNIND1082

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April 5, 2022

COVER STORY

Current in Westfield currentinwestfield.com

Westfield City Council member retires after 30 years as a Marine reservist

By Anna Skinner anna@youarecurrent.com Scott Willis was a student at Purdue University when Operation Desert Storm began in 1991.

With a family history of U.S. Marines Corps service, Willis decided he also wanted to serve.

Willis, 52, joined the Marines after earning his degree in civil engineering. He attended officer candidate school after college “I was committed at that point (1991 Gulf War),” said Willis, a Westfield City Council member. “I wanted to serve. I wanted to be a Marine.”

Thirty years after enlisting, he retired March 1 as a lieutenant colonel in the U.S. Marine Corps Reserves.

“I didn’t expect to stay 30 years,” Willis said. “I did four years of active duty and loved it, but I knew that wasn’t a lifestyle conducive to raising a family.”

After his four years of active duty, Willis entered the reserves. That was when he met his wife, Stacey Willis, through an online dating service. They were engaged within two months after meeting. Being in the reserves brought its own challenges to the couple.

Stacey said she didn’t truly understand what her husband went through until he spent a weekend drilling at Fort Knox, and she asked if, on his way home, he could stop by the store for her.

“He always called me on the way home to let me know he was on his way. This time I asked him if he could pick up a couple things for me at the store. He said he couldn’t,” Stacey said. “I said, ‘Please, it’s right on your way home. It will be real quick.’ He said, ‘I can’t. I’m in uniform.’ I laughed and said, ‘Honey, you look great in uniform, I’m sure no one will care.’ He said, ‘No, Stacey, I can’t wear this uniform in public. This is my killing uniform.’”

Marines are not allowed to wear their camouflage uniforms outside a military installation.

“This really shook me. At that moment, I realized Scott had the lives of men in his hands, be it an enemy or his Marines’ lives,”

Scott Willis pauses with his wife, Stacey, after his retirement ceremony March 1. (Photos courtesy of Scott Willis)

Scott Willis hugs his daughter, Sophia, and reunites with his wife, Stacey, and daughter, Brenna, after serving a year in Iraq 2005.

Stacey said. “This brought the realization that he also could be in harm’s way by other men in their killing uniforms.”

Because Scott was a reservist, his family wasn’t stationed at a military base. Stacey said she didn’t truly appreciate what it meant to be a Marine spouse until 2005. Until then, Scott trained one weekend a month and two to three weeks a summer but was home the rest of the time until August 2005, when he was deployed to Iraq. Although he wasn’t activated, Willis volunteered to go.

“At the time, they had plenty of officers and they didn’t need Scott to accompany his unit,” Stacey said. “He said there was no

way he could face his Marines or live with knowing that he could have been there to help them and our country.”

Prior to Scott’s deployment, the couple spent weeks recording VHS tapes of Scott reading children’s books to show to their daughters each night. At the time, Sophia Willis was around 2 years old, and Brenna was 3 months old. Since his return, the couple has had a third child, Graden.

“One of the hardest things for Scott was the fear of being forgotten,” Stacey said.

“Our girls were so young we feared it may be very hard for them to remember him, and it was especially (true) for Brenna, and she

A TIMELINE OF SERVICE May 1992: Graduated Purdue University with a bachelor’s degree in civil engineering July 1992: Joined Marines and attended officer candidate school, then basic school and field artillery officer basic course. Graduated with honors in all three.

1993: Entered a fleet in Hawaii in 1993 as a second lieutenant. He served as a scout forward observer, liaison officer, executive officer and battery commander. He spent time in Australia, Japan and six months in the Pacific area.

1996: Now a captain, he enters the Reserves and joins an artillery base in Reading, Penn.

1999: Returned to Indiana and joined a tank company serving as platoon commander and executive officer. He is then promoted to major.

2005: Spent 12 months in Iraq.

2007: Now a lieutenant colonel, he returned to the artillery community serving as the regimental staff communications and operations officer before being assigned to Marine Forces Northern Command as an emergency preparedness liaison officer.

2015: Reassigned within Marine Forces Northern Command as the liaison officer to Air Force Northern Command.

2018: Joined 4th Marine Division as the inspector general. His awards include Meritorious Service Medal (2nd Award), Navy Commendation Medal (2nd Award), Navy and Marine Corps Achievement Medal, Select Marine Corps Reserve Medal, Global War on Terrorism Service Medal, Iraqi Campaign Service Medal and National Defense Medal.

March 31, 2022: Retirement is mandatory at 30 years of service for colonels. Willis retires as a Marine reservist

didn’t warm up to Scott for over a year after he returned.”

The family also planned Scott’s funeral, where he wanted to be buried and what he would wear.

“It’s not the usual stuff you do when you go on a business trip,” Stacey said.

Scott’s job overseas was to set up a blocking position between Iraq and Syria, where Al Qaeda frequently entered Iraq to conduct terrorist activities.

“I volunteered to go with my unit, but they didn’t have a job for me to do with my unit, so when we arrive in the country, my Marines went one direction and they grabbed me at the Syrian border,” Scott said. “We swept through three cities to clear the cities of all insurgents in preparation for the constitutional referendum for the national elections (in Iraq). They would set up polling stations, but (terrorists would intimidate voters), so no one would come back, or they’d kill them. So, we set up a safe haven for voting.”

When Scott deployed to Iraq, he wrote individualized letters for both his daughters in case he didn’t return.

“I wrote letters for their sweet 16, graduating high school, graduating college, getting married, first kid,” Scott said. “I tried to hit all the major events that a dad not being there would be impactful.”

Scott also wrote letters to Stacey, his parents and his brothers and sister.

Scott burned the letters when he returned home. No one in his family read them.

“That’s what families in the military deal with, especially in a time of war,” Scott said.

“Our situation was unique for some people, but every single family or Marine or soldier that left was facing similar things. It’s what we do. I’m incredibly proud of my service and I have zero regrets, but I certainly put Stacey and the kids in a tough position. Divorce rates, especially in the Marine Corps, are extremely high.

“The fact she stuck it out and not only stuck it out but was so supportive, I wouldn’t have been able to make it to 30 years.”

ON THE COVER: Scott Willis pauses by his Marine display shelf at his Westfield home. (Photos

by Anna Skinner)

April 5, 2022

VIEWS

Current in Westfield currentinwestfield.com

13

ESSAY

HUMOR

Where is the punch line?

Funny thing about stress

Commentary by Terry Anker

Commentary by Danielle Wilson

There is no obligation on the part of celebrities, actors, politicians, athletes and the like to be anything more than good at their jobs. Being a reasonably competent lawmaker may be more important than being an abusive boss or terrible driver. Being a skilled athlete may provide excuse for misogyny or at least counterbalance our reprehension at the idea. And the impressive feats of make-believe that thespians deliver entertain us every day. So, can’t we overlook their illegal and violent acts? Occasionally, anyway? It is painful when heroes fail to live up to our expectations.

Long-reigning box office champion Will Smith recently took occasion at one of Hollywood’s many self-congratulatory awards ceremonies to physically attack the host of the show, claiming that he’d been offended by a joke made about another actor, his wife. Smith has been quite forthright about the “open” nature of that marriage and the insufficiency, for him, of monogamy.

Four years younger, 4 inches taller and 57 pounds beefier, Smith believes his attack to have been justified because of the tone of the lampooning from the host, Chris Rock, which Smith may have rightly held had gone too far.

One can empathize. Most of us don’t like it when we feel ourselves to be the butt of the joke. Likely the comedian, Rock, is used to being bullied since middle school and will laugh it off, but it raises the question, when do we have the right to violent recourse? Do we deputize ourselves vigilantes, fully imbued with the power of retribution? Or do we live in a civil space where we tolerate those that we perceive to be ignorant, even offensive, only using force through codified law? Do we scold Smith or Rock, or neither? Does what we say of them point to us?

Stress is a sneaky villain. It builds and builds, and then, bam, you find yourself sobbing in the minivan after your daughter’s dance competition, barely able to navigate roundabouts through the torrent of tears and snot.

I don’t cry often, but when I do, it ain’t pretty. Here’s the skinny.

I’d been riding the anxiety bus all week. Nothing major, just a bunch of little annoyances that were throwing off my sleep and continually pressing the angst button. My husband, Doo, and I had argued; our younger son was denied a college transfer request and now may not graduate on time; our high school senior received a rejection from her dream university; and I’d decided to teach something completely new for my annual administrator’s observation.

I actually thought I was fine when Saturday rolled around. Doo and I had talked, the aforementioned kids were rallying and my lesson went off without a hitch. I was no longer consciously worrying about anything, and the dance competition went relatively well.

But I made it only a few minutes into the ride home before the pent-up emotions burst forth. I quickly went from half-heartedly criticizing the obviously talent-blind judges to bawling about my dad who passed in 2020, our cat who died last May and stupid Indiana politicians. Of course, my breakdown wasn’t about any of those things, but rather a culmination of a psychologically straining week. And part of me is saying, “It’s OK. It’s just stress. Let it go,” while another part is like, “You’re a hot mess.

Perfect column fodder!”

So, yeah, stress is sneaky but also occasionally entertaining. You’re welcome.

Peace out.

Terry Anker is an associate editor of Current Publishing, LLC. You may email him at terry@ youarecurrent.com.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“Build your own dreams or someone else will hire you to build theirs.”

—FARRAH GRAY

POLICIES Letters to the editor: Current Publishing will consider verifiable letters of up to 150 words. Letters must be thoroughly vetted prior to submission. Current retains the right to reject or return any letter it deems to carry unsubstantiated content. Current also retains the right to edit letters, but not their intent. Send letters to info@youarecurrent.com. Writers must include a hometown and a daytime phone number for verification. Guest columns: The policy for guest columns is the same as the aforementioned, but the allowable length is 240 words. Guest columns should address the whole of Current’s readership, not simply special-interest groups, and may not in any way contain a commercial message.

Danielle Wilson is a contributing columnist. You may email her at info@youarecurrent.com.

14

April 5, 2022

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Cooking up stories Commentary by Dick Wolfsie

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to a good dinner party is the proper preparation. I’m not sure whether Irma refers to Mary Ellen and I were in the middle of preparing the fish or the guests, but I’ll be spring cleaning (we do it every three or four ready, either way: “I hope you enjoy the years) when I found a book blowfish, which is poisonous if not cooked HUMOR in the storage closet that I properly. Just in case, be advised you might thought Mary Ellen could beneexperience violent stomach pain, convulfit from. I retrieved it from a shelf and placed sions and possible death.” it on the kitchen counter, as a subtle hint.

One section references people retiring to “What’s with this, the drawing room for Dick? After 42 years of dessert. I believe if First published in 1931, this marriage, I don’t think people are retiring at was the l936 release, with 800 your party, you should I need a refresher course. True, I never pages. It’s actually a collector’s liven things up with a really enjoyed the or the Chipitem. I skimmed the pages and stripper process, but I expectpendales to celebrate. was disappointed to discover And what’s a drawing ed you to participate more than you have.” there were no photos showing room? The only guy I “Mary Ellen, the personally with what it looks like when recipe know book is ‘The Joy of one of those is carsteps are followed properly.

Cooking.’ Not ‘The Joy toonist Gary Varvel. of Cleaning.’”

Doesn’t this, taken – DICK WOLFSIE Apparently, she right from the book, inherited this volume from her mother. First sound like it could be the climax scene from published in 1931, this was the l936 release, the movie “The Thing”? “When it comes to with 800 pages. It’s actually a collector’s vegetables, cooks often suffer from arrestitem. I skimmed the pages and was disaped development, and the result is indepointed to discover there were no photos scribable, looking like it came from a siege, showing what it looks like when recipe drained of all life force and surrendered to steps are followed properly. Does “The Joy the inevitable.” of Sex” have photos like that? No clue.

When Irma finished writing the recipes, This kitchen essential opens with cockher husband, Edgar, told her he would taste tails. Here’s what the author, Irma Rombauthem all, if she cooked them in alphabetical er, wrote: “Cocktails loosen tongues and order, following the index. This was the perunbutton reserves of the socially shy … and fect publicity stunt, he thought, but it was they should be served the sooner the betdoomed to fail before the very last meal. ter.” This is no longer considered good adEdgar, you see, was allergic to zucchini. vice especially if you are a flight attendant.

The poultry and game chapter’s introduction includes: “Draw out the entrails, cut the Dick Wolfsie is an author, neck close to the body, remove the windpipe columnist and speaker. Contact end, then chop off the feet.” As you can tell, him at wolfsie@aol.com. this book was a big hit with serial killers.

The fish chapter begins by saying the key

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BUSINESS LOCAL

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A bit about cryptocurrency Commentary by Ryan C. Fuhrmann Back in 2015, cryptocurrency Bitcoin traded at about $300. Recently, Bitcoin prices returned back about ECONOMY $48,000. If you were lucky enough to buy some Bitcoin seven years ago, you’re sitting with a very large and impressive return of about 160 times your investment.

This impressive run in Bitcoin, one of the first cryptocurrencies, has encouraged the creation of what now numbers more than 18,000 cryptocurrencies, according to a recent article by Investopedia, which also defines a cryptocurrency as a digital virtual currency that isn’t issued by a central bank such as the Federal Reserve or government such as the U.S. Treasury, which prints and oversees the U.S. dollar. Instead, a bitcoin is “mined,” which is to say its creation happens using “sophisticated hardware that involves an extremely complex computational math problem.” This is also part of how a blockchain works.

Cryptocurrencies are run on decentralized networks, which, for some, is part of their appeal. Transactions are also created

and tracked through a technology called blockchain, which is supposed to make it safe. Yet, an estimated $14 billion in crypto was stolen last year, up 80 percent from the previous year.

The fact that cryptocurrency is decentralized, unregulated and hard to track also makes it appealing to crooks. About $10 billion in crypto is estimated to be used in illicit activities, such as money laundering, drug trafficking and cybercrimes.

Given all this complexity and uncertainty surrounding how cryptocurrencies are created, tracked and used, I can’t in good faith recommend them for your investment portfolio. Sure, you can throw a few hundred dollars at one in the hopes it skyrockets in price, but also be prepared to lose it completely.

For the full column, visit youarecurrent. com.

Ryan C. Fuhrmann, CFA, is an investment manager based in Carmel. He would like to hear what your view on inflation is at ryan@ fuhrmanncapital.com or visit his website at fuhrmanncapital.com.

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HEALTH

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PROVEN EXPERTISE

April is not only National Foot Health Awareness Month, but it is also PODIATRY National Garden Month. While gardening can give your property curb appeal, it’s also great exercise. Activities like mowing your lawn, pulling weeds and planting flowers work your whole body and can lower your risk for diabetes or heart disease. But it can also put lots of pressure on your feet and ankles. So, for that reason, I’m sharing four foot tips for gardening safely.

Tips to prevent gardening injuries • Pick the right shoes: Gardening shoes need to offer plenty of support, since yard work puts pressure on your feet and toes. That’s especially true when you squat down to plant or fertilize flowers, since your bones could get compressed and inflamed without supportive footwear. Wear closed-toed shoes in your yard, especially if you plan to mow your lawn.

• Socks matter, too: Working in the hot sun makes you sweat. Choose sweat-wicking socks to keep your feet dry and reduce your risk for fungal infec-

tions. Avoid high, tight-fitting socks that can reduce your blood flow and lead to foot or ankle swelling.

• Protect your toenails: Squatting while you garden can shove your toenails up against the edge of your shoes. And repeat pressure or injury raises your risk for ingrown toenails. To prevent this problem, trim your nails straight across.

And leave a little visible white nail when you trim.

• Garden like an athlete: Stretch your feet, legs and ankles before and after gardening. Make sure to take breaks while you’re in the garden and avoid daily yard work if your body is tired. Finally, drink plenty of water to reduce swelling and prevent cramps.

Through it all, just remember that even walking around and watering your plants puts extra pressure on your feet.

A board-certified foot surgeon and wound specialist, Dr. David Sullivan is the owner of Westfield Foot and Ankle, LLC. Contact him at drs@ westfieldfoot.com.

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currentnightandday.com

Shepherd to perform ‘Trouble Is’ album

By Alan Sculley editorial@youarecurrent.com Kenny Wayne Shepherd’s recently released DVD, “Straight To You Live,” is the first concert DVD he’s CONCERT released in a career that spans more than 25 years.

But it’s not like he’s been trying to avoid doing such a project.

“The fans have been asking for a live DVD for decades,” said Shepherd, who will perform at 8 p.m. April 16 at the Palladium at the Center for the Performing Arts in Carmel. “We record audio every night, but we’ve done a number of shows with video as well. And for one reason or another, we just never felt like we had the right night.”

It’s possible this concert, which was filmed in Germany for broadcast on the legendary concert series “Rockpalast,” might have stayed on the shelf, too, if it hadn’t been followed a few months later by the COVID-19 pandemic.

“It was a real honor to be asked to do it,” Shepherd said of “Rockpalast.” “We watched it back and we were like, ‘Wow, it’s actually a really great performance.’

And then we really didn’t think much more about it until COVID happened. Then we started realizing that people are not going to be able to come and see us for a while, and they’ve been asking for a live concert for years, and we have this.

“The audio is great, the performance is great, the camera work is great. Maybe we should put this together and get it out to them so they can watch it in the comfort of their own homes until we can get back out on the road.”

Shortly after the Rockpalast concert, Shepherd and the band went into the studio to record a new album, which was finished just before the pandemic hit and the world shut down. Shepherd said he’ll wait until closer to the release date of the next studio album to debut those songs.

Instead, Shepherd and his band are marking the 25th anniversary of Shepherd’s second album, 1997’s “Trouble Is,” by playing the entire album on the tour.

One new song, though, that may well be included in Shepherd’s shows is “Hit ‘Em

‘HELLO, DOLLY!’ “Hello, Dolly!” runs through May 15 at Beef & Boards Dinner Theatre in Indianapolis. For more, visit beefandboards.com.

‘EXODUS’ Gregory Hancock Dance Theatre will present “EXODUS” at 7 p.m. April 7-9 at The Tarkington at the Center for the Performing Arts in Carmel. For more, visit gregoryhancockdancetheatre.org LAS CAFETERAS Las Cafeteras will perform at 8 p.m. April 8 at the Palladium at the Center for the Performing Arts in Carmel. For more, visit thecenterpresents.org.

AN EVENING WITH ITZHAK PERLMAN Violin virtuoso Itzhak Perlman’s concert is set for 8 p.m. April 9 at the Palladium at the Center for the Performing Arts in Carmel. For more, visit thecenterpresents.org.

‘FLAMING IDIOTS’

Kenny Wayne Shepherd set to perform at 8 p.m. April 16 at the Palladium at the Center for the Performing Arts in Carmel. (Photo courtesy of the Center for the Performing Arts)

Back,” a collaboration between Shepherd and blues singer-songwriter Shemekia Copeland that also features guest appearances by lap steel guitar player Robert Randolph and veteran blues drummer Tony Coleman.

Copeland, daughter of the late blues artist Johnny Copeland, reached out to Shepherd to write music to the lyrics she and co-writer John Hahn had completed.

The lyrics have a strong and multi-dimensional message calling for unity, respect and cooperation, while also pointing out the divisiveness that exists in today’s society overall and the blues community in particular. Shepherd wrote muscular and soulful blues-rock music to accompany the lyrics, which was what he felt the song demanded.

“I thought the song needed musically to be big and powerful because I feel the message is powerful,” Shepherd said.

Despite a quarter-century-plus history

with the blues, Shepherd, who exploded onto the scene at age 17 with his 1995 million-selling debut album, “Ledbetter Heights,” said he had not encountered the kind of anger and divisiveness within the blues community that are referenced in “Hit ‘Em Back.”

“Frankly, I thought of the community having always been very inclusive just up until recently,” he said. “And a lot of things have been revealed to me that I just was unaware of but have obviously been going on in the blues community for a while. I had no idea, so we thought it was time to address that because a lot of people are trying to use situations to divide people, and united we stand, divided we fall, right?

“We’re all here in the same music community and we do ourselves much more of a service if we get along and appreciate one another than trying to draw lines in the sand.”

Main Street Productions presents “Flaming Idiots” through April 10 at Basile Westfield Playhouse. For more, visit westfieldplayhouse.org.

‘THUNDER AND SILENCE’ Indiana Wind Symphony presents its “Thunder and Silence” concert at 6:30 p.m. April 10 at the Palladium at the Center for the Performing Arts in Carmel. For more, visit centerpresents.org.

The Main Squeeze set for NDP Amp editorial@youarecurrent.com The Nickel Plate District Amphitheater, known as the NDP AMP, and MOKB Presents has announced that The Main Squeeze will perform in Fishers Aug. 19. Tickets can be purchased at npdamp.com.

Tickets for The Main Squeeze are $20 advance and $25 the day of show. For ticketed shows, the venue is an all-ages facility and children 2 and under are admitted free.

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April 5, 2022

NIGHT & DAY

Current in Westfield currentinwestfield.com

IWS concert features Strutz

By Mark Ambrogi mark@youarecurrent.com

she does it as an encore. She might do something where she sings and plays then.”

Conrad said Rachmaninoff’s piece has As a frequent guest soloist for Indiana been used in popular songs through the Wind Symphony, Kelleen Strutz always enyears. joys her appearances.

The last movement was used for MUSIC This one will be extra “Full Moon and Empty Arms,” a song special as the Carmel

by Frank Sinatra in 1945. pianist will perform Sergei RachThe second movement was used maninov’s “Piano Concerto No. 2 in C as the verse on Eric Carmen’s “All by minor” in the “Thunder and Silence” Myself” in 1976. concert at 6:30 p.m. April 10 at the The concert starts with Henry Palladium at the Center for the PerFillmore’s “Rolling Thunder” and Strutz forming Arts in Carmel. closes with Frank Ticheli’s “Blue “I am looking most forward to Shades.” creating a passionate musical experience “It has a lot of jazzy sounding, New Orlewith the Indiana Wind Symphony and ans-influenced melodies and riffs,” Conrad sharing that with the audience,” Strutz said of “Blue Shades.” “It’s been around said. “Rachmaninoff’s 2nd Concerto is one since he wrote it in 1997. It’s one of the of the most beloved pieces of music with most popular band pieces of the last quarrecognizable, soaring themes and emotional ter century.” intensity, definitely one of my favorites to The concert includes John Philip Sousa’s perform.” march “The Thunderer.”

IWS Music Director Charles Conrad said Conrad said Julis Fucik’s “Thunder and Strutz is a joy to have as part of a program.

Blazes” might not be recognizable as a title.

“She is a wonderful musician both in pop“But it’s the most famous circus march ular jazz as well as classical,” Conrad said. ever,” he said.

“She won’t be singing in this concert unless For more, indianawindsymphony.org.

Holy Week at Carmel United Methodist Church Palm Sunday

9am Tradition and 10:30am Combined Traditional and Contemporary

Holy Thursday 6:30pm

Good Friday 6:30pm

Easter Sunday

9am and 10:30am Traditional 10:30 Contemporary

April 5, 2022

NIGHT & DAY

Current in Westfield currentinwestfield.com

19

ATI Live schedule set

By Mark Ambrogi mark@youarecurrent.com Actors Theatre of Indiana co-founder Cynthia Collins views cabaret as a special genre.

CABARET “One in which we have all enjoyed throughout our careers,” Collins said. “It’s personal and intimate and allows the performer to get at the heart of every song to make it truly their own.”

That’s why Collins and fellow ATI co-founders Judy Fitzgerald and Don Farrell are excited about their second year in collaboration with Feinstein’s at Hotel Carmichael in Carmel with their ATI Live at Feinstein’s series. The 2022 schedule was recently released.

“I, personally, love singing in that space,” Collins said. “Although it is fashioned after Feinstein’s 54 Below in NYC, I feel this design has a bit more warmth to it. All the artists ATI presents at Feinstein’s are either our friends in the business or associated with friends of ours. That’s how this business works, one degree of separation.

We want to promote and showcase these

talented performers, not only because they are friends, but because they are extremely talented, highly respected professionals.”

Farrell said ATI is thrilled to continue the partnership at the venue “to celebrate the power of live cabaret and enhance the quality of life for our Carmel community, our central Indiana community and the patrons of Feinstein’s.”

The ATI Live schedule is April 6: ATI Trio: What the World Needs Now; May 5: Richard Glazier: From Broadway to Hollywood; June 7: Open Mic Night; June 23: John Vessels, Darrin Murrell, Brent Marty, Just A Couple of Fools; July 9: Don Farrell: All the Way, The Frank Sinatra Tribute; July 14: Don Farrell: One Voice, The Music of Barry Manilow; July 21: Judy Fitzgerald: Walkin’ After Midnight: An Evening of Patsy Cline; July 28 - UN5GETTABLE; Aug. 3: Farrell: Music of Manilow; Aug. 18: Tony Humrichouser & Stephen Wallem; Aug. 24: Farrell, Sinatra tribute; Sept. 29: Julie Lyn Barber: Debbie Reynolds: A Life in Music; Oct. 20: Billy Stritch; Dec. 1: Farrell, Music of Manilow; Dec. 15-16: Celebrate the Holidays.

For more, visit atistage.org or feinsteinshc.com.

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April 5, 2022

NIGHT & DAY

Current in Westfield currentinwestfield.com

Purchase art you like Commentary by Randy Sorrell I’m curious: How do you buy art? Is it intentional and with a purpose, or driven by emotion and impromptu?

VIEWPOINT Sure, it can be a little intimidating. Hint: Purchase what you like, and you will not regret it.

Purchasing art while traveling or at local art fairs is a prevailing trend among friends.

The Carmel International Arts Festival was mentioned several times, as were a few of the proprietary galleries on the main streets of Carmel, Zionsville and Fishers.

BUY REAL ART Heather Ward Miles, a thriving Carmel artist, emphasizes buying real art. In fact, she has edgy stickers proclaiming “BUY REAL ART” that are handed out freely in her studio. We share a common frustration of folks buying pieces of art that are not real/original. Of course, there are valid reasons to do that, but often for a similar price point, an original painting can be yours.

The beauty of real art is that it can immediately give a room or home a “presence” and set a mood. Real art can be more reflective of the owners’ personality and make a

“Déjà vu” is displayed in Heather Ward Mills’ gallery 890 East 116th St., Carmel.

statement. Just sayin’.

Miles taught visual art at Crispus Attucks High School for 16 years and began painting professionally in 2018. She describes her work as abstract contemporary with a connection to the universe. It’s certainly joyful and uplifting.

Life is short. Drink the wine. Eat the cake.

Buy the art.

Randy Sorrell, a Carmel artist, can be reached at 317-6792565, rsorrellart@gmail.com or rsorrellart.com.

April 5, 2022

NIGHT & DAY

Current in Westfield currentinwestfield.com

21

Behind bars: Bali Bee’s Knees Beverage created by local mixologist Brett Butler Ingredients: 2 oz. Bombay Sapphire East Gin, 1 oz. Alcomy Honey-GingerLemongrass Elixir, .5 oz. fresh squeezed lemon juice, 1 tablespoon liquid turmeric, Curry leaf for garnish Directions: Shake all ingredients with ice, strain into a coupe glass. Garnish with a curry leaf.

Cardinal Spirits

Commentary by Anna Skinner Address: 922 S. Morton St., Bloomington What to get: Cardinal Quinoa Salad Price: $12 Anna’s take: The next few columns in the At the Table with Anna series will feature restaurants in Bloomington. One that should top your list is actually a distillery, so it’s only available for diners 21 and older.

Cardindal Spirits also has a chef-inspired menu, featuring bright, colorful and delicious items such as Cardinal Quinoa Salad. I added salmon to mine for an extra $7, as well as a boiled egg for $1. The salad is made with local baby greens, sliced pears for a hint of sweetness, cucumbers, rainbow carrot strips for a splash of color, roasted baby beets, avocado and house-made Terra

Puttanesca tacos, left, and Cardinal Quinoa Salad. (Photo by Rachel Greenberg) Botanical Gin Vinaigrette. Another crowd favorite is shrimp cocktail ($14). The shrimp are marinated in the Terra Botanical Gin and served with a side of Bloody Mary cocktail sauce. The OMG Fries ($11) were delicious and served with a variety of sauces. Puttanesca tacos ($12) are a great vegan option with artichokes and a vegan parmesan.

Suggested pairings: Kisses of Fire ($9).

It is a creamy and slightly spicy cocktail with Cardinal Spirits Rum, coconut cream, pineapple, chipotle, lime, cayenne, smoke and orange bitters.

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April 5, 2022

INSIDE & OUT

Current in Westfield currentinwestfield.com

Blueprint for Improvement: Timeless Westfield kitchen transformation Commentary by Larry Greene With a large family and a love for entertaining, these homeowners often have a full house. They wanted a style upgrade for their kitchen to accentuate their golf course view and improve functionality.

After

THE BLUEPRINT • The island was reconfigured to give the room additional entertaining space and improve flow.

• Quartz countertops in a matte finish provide ample workspace and durability.

• A wood beam replaced decorative arches for an unobstructed view of the golf course.

• Customized solutions were added, including spice and utensil pull-outs, pegboard drawer organizers, hidden power outlets and a pot filler.

• White perimeter cabinets help to brighten the space.

Larry Greene is the owner of Case Design/Remodeling; email him at lgreene@caseindy.com. Visit caseindy. com for more remodeling inspiration and advice.

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April 5, 2022

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23

Putting people in their places Commentary by Curtis Honeycutt

Historic Cincinnati Music Hall. (Photos by Don Knebel)

Visiting historic Over-the-Rhine Commentary by Don Knebel As we continue exploring places within driving distance of Indianapolis, today we visit Over-the-Rhine in TRAVEL Cincinnati.

In the 1830s, German immigrants began settling north of the Miami and Erie Canal that marked the northern end of downtown Cincinnati. Natives, facetiously (and disparagingly), began calling the canal “the Rhine” and the area where the Germans lived “over the Rhine.” The Germans established numerous breweries using technology they brought from home, and Findlay Market was built in the neighborhood in 1852 using then-new ironworks technology. In 1863, Cincinnati acquired 4 acres in the area that had been cemeteries and established what became Washington Park. In 1878, a Victorian Gothic Revival music hall was built just west of the park over a pauper’s cemetery. The massive hall hosted the 1880 Democratic National Convention.

After the canal failed, it was covered by what is now Central Parkway, but the name “Over-the-Rhine,” or “OTR,” continued.

In the 1940s, descendants of the original OTR residents began leaving, and the area and its historic buildings began deteriorating. After major riots in 2001, significant local investments were made to revitalize the area. Today, the renovated (and supposedly haunted) Cincinnati Music Hall, a National Historic Landmark, is home to the Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra and other major performing arts organizations. The restored Findlay Market, home to more than 50 vendors, is among the world’s greatest markets. The expanded Washington Park hosts concerts and sporting events. Re-

You probably know about placeholder names, even if you don’t know that’s what they’re called. That’s the whole point.

GRAMMAR GUY When it comes to placeholder names relating to business and products, we can list a whole slew of them. It doesn’t matter if your company makes gadgets, gizmos, widgets or thingamajigs — they make doohickeys or whatchamacallits over there. You know what’s-his-head — he works over at Acme making doodads.

We find placeholder names in the world of living things. For instance, “bug” is a catch-all term for any insect. Similarly, “critter” is a ubiquitous word for an animal. If that animal becomes unruly or starts knocking over your trash cans, it might classify as a “varmint.”

Let’s not leave out everyone’s favorite animal, humans. When we refer to someone generically, we’re using a placeholder name. From formal terms like Sir, Madam, Mr. and Ms. to colloquial phrases like bro, babe, honey or amigo, we use placeholder

names instead of someone’s actual name.

For me, there’s a certain type of guy who will always use diminutive placeholder names instead of your real name: buddy, chief, sport, pal or my man. To the guy who refers to me in those terms, I’d like to say this: I am none of those things to you.

The world of computer programming has its own language around placeholder names. A metasyntactic variable is a placeholder term that doesn’t otherwise violate the language the code or sequence is written in. Common metasyntactic variables include foo, bar, baz, waldo, fred and thud. The names don’t matter and will be replaced later.

Placeholder names are everywhere, whether you live in Anytown, USA, or out in the sticks, just north of the boondocks.

Thanks for reading, pal.

Curtis Honeycutt is a national award-winning, syndicated humor writer. Connect with him on Twitter (@curtishoneycutt) or at curtishoneycutt.com.

Findlay Market in Cincinnati.

A Connector streetcar in Cincinnati.

established breweries offer tastings and tours, and fashionable bars and restaurants have returned. Travel between OTR’s places of interest is facilitated by the Connector, a free streetcar line with 18 stops connecting OTR with downtown Cincinnati.

Not everyone is happy with OTR’s revitalization, which displaced people who once lived there. But for visitors to Cincinnati, OTR provides a chance to imagine what life was like in the 19th century.

Don Knebel is a local resident who works for Barnes & Thornburg LLP. For the full column visit donknebel. com. You may contact him at editorial@youarecurrent.com.

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Current in Westfield currentinwestfield.com

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Become a volunteer today Riverview Health is looking for volunteers to join its great team.

Some of the many volunteer service areas include patient transport, guest services and the gift shop. Shifts are available in the morning or afternoon, at least one day per week, Monday-Friday.

If you’re interested in volunteering at Riverview Health in Noblesville or Westfield, please contact the manager of Volunteer Services, Melinda Nash, at 317.776.7236 or mnash@riverview.org. You can also scan the QR code to download an application.

RIGHT SIZE. RIGHT CARE. RIGHT HERE.

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Healthcare is bigger than a hospital.

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