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Current asks Fishers officials about the goals, challenges and changes they expect to see for the town in 2012 / P9

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Smoke this Founded Jan. 25, 2011, at Fishers, IN Vol. I, No. 48 Copyright 2011. Current Publishing, LLC All Rights Reserved.

1 South Range Line Road, Suite 220 Carmel, IN 46032

317.489.4444 Managing Editor – Jordan Fischer jordan@youarecurrent.com / 489.4444 ext. 204 Associate Editor – Terry Anker terry@currentincarmel.com Art Director – Zachary Ross zach@youarecurrent.com / 489.4444 Associate Artist – Andrea Nickas andrea@youarecurrent.com / 489.4444

OUR VIEWS

It is our position that a statewide smoking ban as it has been proposed is not an infringement on personal liberties. There are several arguments for and against smoking bans – and either side can win those arguments when they present them with the right set of facts.

While both positions have merit, the go-to argument against smoking bans seems to be the attack on personal liberty, and we don’t feel this argument holds water. Smoking in an enclosed space does produce health risks for others. It’s incomparable to anything else – would we allow a person to enter a movie theatre with a jug of pest control chemicals and allow them to randomly spray it in the air? Of course not, we regulate those chemicals and their uses. We wouldn’t permit someone with car problems to drive down the street, emitting a cloud that makes it impossible for motorists behind them to see the road.

If the economic argument is in fact a good enough reason to maintain the status quo, so be it, but there is nothing about liberty that permits one citizen to put another in harm’s way, in our estimation, so the “taking of liberties” argument must be put to rest.

Don’t smoke this

It is our position that a statewide smoking ban is not only unnecessary, but is downright un-American. The last time we checked, tobacco products, including cigarettes and cigars, were perfectly legal to purchase and to smoke.

While we cannot argue that the use of any tobacco product is good for your health, neither is eating at fast food restaurants or failing to exercise three times a week. As long as something is not illegal, we cannot be prosecuted for partaking in it. Our great country was founded on the principles of liberty and private property, among others, so here in America we have the right to choose.

Bars, restaurants and other establishments are each private property and owned by someone with the right to choose whether they are smoking or non-smoking. Many places have chosen to be smoke free and we thank them when we are eating dinner out. But when we choose to have a beer and a cigarette while we watch a sporting event with friends, we are thankful that we still can.

To enact a statewide smoking ban in private-property establishments is one step further down the slippery slope of diminishing liberty. What will they take next?

The views in these editorials are of reader participants. They do not represent those of Current Publishing ownership and management.

Advertising

Sales Executive – Hollie Gossett hollie@youarecurrent.com / 372.8088 Senior Sales Executive – Dennis O’Malia dennis@youarecurrent.com / 370.0749

Business Office

Bookkeeper – Heather Cole heather@youarecurrent.com / 489.4444 Publisher – Brian Kelly brian@youarecurrent.com / 414.7879 General Manager – Steve Greenberg steve@youarecurrent.com / 847.5022 The views of the columnists in Current In Fishers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the positions of this newspaper.

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strange laws V E C TO R BU T TO N S . CO M V E C TO R BU T TO N S . CO M

CONSTITUTION CLOSEUP

Photo Illustration

Our nation has all sorts of arcane, nonsensical laws on the books. Each week, we’ll share one with you.

In Wells, Maine, deer may not be fed.

Source: dumblaws.com

www.youarecurrent.com

Every week, we will print a portion of the U.S. Constitution, followed by a portion of the Indiana Constitution. We encourage you to benchmark government policies against these bedrock documents. Today: the U.S. Constitution.

Article. I. Section. 7.

Clause 2: But in all such Cases the Votes of both Houses shall be determined by yeas and Nays, and the Names of the Persons voting for and against the Bill shall be entered on the Journal of each House respectively.

If any Bill shall not be returned by the President within ten Days (Sundays excepted) after it shall have been presented to him, the Same shall be a

Current in Fishers

Law, in like Manner as if he had signed it, unless the Congress by their Adjournment prevent its Return, in which Case it shall not

be a Law. Clause 3: Every Order, Resolution, or Vote to which the Concurrence of the Senate and House of Representatives may be necessary (except on a question of Adjournment) shall be presented to the President of the United States; and before the Same shall take Effect, shall be approved by him, or being disapproved by him, shall be repassed by two thirds of the Senate and House of Representatives, according to the Rules and Limitations prescribed in the Case of a Bill.

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FROM THE BACKSHOP An old watchword is back for ’12: Accountability As the New Year dawns, naturally we are compelled to look back on 2011 and take stock of what was and what could have been.

Just as naturally, we also look forward to what the next 12 months will bring all of us. Around here, we tend to focus on a key watchword for the new year. For the next 365 days, and, truthfully, all those that follow, we actually are reinstituting our 2009 watchword, ACCOUNTABILITY, and we’ll tell you why. As you might recall, we recently commissioned independent marketplace research – we’re not smart enough to do it on our own – whose results were at once confirming, surprising and eye-opening. If we’re nothing else to our readership and advertising partners, we are accountable. We’re also accountable to those whose services we employ, and they owe it to you be accountable, as well. From the adjective accountable, we get the noun accountability, and that means, basically, being responsible to someone or for some action. Interestingly, accountability is a common noun in many segments of the results of that recent research. You have put it to us to make sure there is accountability across various platforms of our Hamilton County life, chief among them government and its acumen for stewardship of our tax

Brian Kelly & Steve Greenberg dollars – or lack thereof. You told us you want to know what your elected officials are doing to justify the occupancy of their positions, and so we shall maintain watchful eyes on their deeds and open ears to their words.

As this is your newspaper, and news it what you say it is, we wish to remind you that if there is any segment of, or behavior in, local government you question for whatever reason, please inform us. We will take your suggestions and questions to heart, and we will investigate and attempt to provide meaningful answers. We believe you deserve nothing less, so let us hear from you at info@ youarecurrent.com. Here’s to a progressive, healthful and fulfilling new year.

Thank you for smoking

out to protect us from ourselves.

Commentary Perhaps we need the protection. We are too

By Terry Anker Many of us remember the start of the modern fat. We are stupid enough to text while we drive.

And, we fill our lungs (and often our veins) smoking wars with a non-threatening Dick Van Dyke movie called “Cold Turkey” from the early with toxic substances. But who gets to decide what freedoms we have?

1970s. It tells the story Should there be a scale of fictional small town Should there be a scale at the fast food joint that Eagle Rock, Iowa, and its rush to win a tobacco at the fast food joint that determines a body mass before dispensing company-sponsored prize determines a body mass index the bacon-bomb burger? of $25,000,000 for kicking the habit naturally, index before dispensing the Yet, do summary prohibitions work? Can we hilarity ensues. Eventubacon-bomb burger? ban fat/smoke/liquor/ ally (much like an aftersex/violence (or any of a school special), we all plethora of human foibles) without taking away learn a lesson about the evils of smoking. Since something equally (perhaps more) important? then, America has become a decidedly different As the most recent smoking ban debates have place. In the wake of terrorists’ attacks on our grabbed headlines, one remembers the lessons homeland and the fear that it has wrought, we of our long history of temperance movements. now tolerate more intrusions into our personal Should the 18th Amendment come back? freedoms than at any point since our founding.

And, perhaps one for gambling/smoking/eating/ Mad mothers, advocate judges, big-government questioning/thinking? governments and all manner and sort of entities have entered the public space with a promise to keep us safe and protect us from evil. Even as Terry Anker is an associate editor we have moved away from religious edicts and of Current Publishing, LLC. dogma designed to harness the unwitting proleYou may e-mail him at terry@ tariat, we have embraced with great exuberance currentincarmel.com. the dictum of a new class of well-intended folks

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DISPATCHES » Tree collection sites – Beginning Dec. 26, the Town of Fishers will offer Christmas tree recycling at three of its parks. Trees can be taken to Roy G. Holland Memorial Park, 1 Park Dr., Cumberland Park, 10580 Cumberland Rd., and Brooks School Park, 11780 Brooks School Rd. Mulch made from the trees is used throughout the parks and trail system, resulting in cost savings. Trees may be left between Dec. 26 and Feb. 1 in the designated fence areas and all wiring should be removed before drop off. For additional information, please call the Town of Fishers at (317) 595-3111 or e-mail administration@fishers.in.us » FPD on Facebook – The Fishers Police Dept. announced recently its plans to expand its use of Twitter and Facebook to post crime information, news and traffic problems. Citing its high level of participation in the Neighborhood Watch Program, the police department is hoping to increase its online presence as well. The Fishers Police Dept. Facebook page can be found by searching @fishers_police. For more information, visit www.fishers.in.us/police. » State of the County – Hamilton County Commissioner Steve Dillinger will present his annual State of the County address at the January Noblesville Chamber of Commerce luncheon from 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m.

Jan. 25 at The Mansion at Oak Hill, 5801 E. 116th St., Carmel. To register for the event, contact the chamber at 773-0086 or visit www.noblesvillechamber.com. » Christmas display – Reynolds Farm Equipments Free Christmas Lights Display can be seen dusk thru dawn through Sunday, Jan. 1. The display is located at 12501 Reynolds Drive in Fishers, near the southeast corner of Ind. 37 North and 126th Street. For a safer driving environment, Reynolds has hired services from within the Fishers Police Department, who will be on-hand for most weekend evenings to help direct the traffic both coming in and out of the display on Reynolds Drive.

For more information about the display, visit www.ReynoldsFarmEquipment.com. » Plate change – The “In God We Trust” license plate will be getting one with a new design – a waving American flag in the background, with the words “In God We Trust” at the bottom. Motorists can begin receiving the new plate in January. The “In God We Trust” plate was established by the legislature in 2006 as an optional standard plate available at no additional fee.

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New Year’s Resolutions COMMENTARY

By Danielle Wilson I just read through my 2011 New Year’s resolutions and realized I didn’t make that many.

We did take our kids to Colorado and I did do a better job of balancing work and motherhood, at least up until last month. But I still hate mushrooms, I didn’t publish a book, and my very yellow family room is still obnoxiously sunny. But that’s the great thing about a new year! You get the chance to start over. So here’s my fourth-annual list of New Year’s goals, perfectly penned for your reading pleasure.

Paint the damn family room. Yes, it has high ceilings, so, yes, we’ll need to hire a professional.

But seriously, if I can’t check this one little thing off my list, then I may as well resign myself to keeping stained laminate countertops and a carpeted master bath. Just do it already!

Calm the hell down. I really want to make this year less stressful, and I can start by tweaking my attitude towards things like dirty laundry, lasagna-encrusted dishes and unmade beds.

I’ve mentioned this in previous articles, but I’m a bit anal when it comes to a clean house. The problem is, I have four kids and work full time, so stuff gets messy. In 2012, before I lose my cool over insignificant untidiness, I vow to take a deep breath, maybe go outside and shout the eff word a few times, and remind myself that a sterile home is a lifeless home. Bring on the dirt!

Minimize swearing. Or not. The eff word speaks to me.

Focus on family. The past few months I’ve lost sight of what’s truly important in life – a strong cup of coffee, a stout drink and a stiff …

No wait, that’s something else. Family! Family should be the most important thing, and in 2012 I pledge to spend more quality time with my children and husband. I’m also going to try and get out of town more often to see siblings and nieces and nephews. Life’s just too short to not make the effort in this area.

Publish my book. I actually did get started on this last year, but somehow let it fall by the wayside. Not in 2012! Expect to see my lovely mug on a book cover near you by spring. As God as my witness, I will never go hungry again! Because I’ll be rich, see, from my book earnings.

Embrace middle age. I turn 40 this month.

Gulp. But I’m not going to let it slow me down.

Wrinkles, mammograms, hair dye … Bring. It. On. Good luck meeting your own 2012 goals!

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Town Council President Scott Faultless with IU Health CEO Philip Dulberger.

Current asks Fishers officials about the goals, challenges and changes they expect to see for the town in 2012

By Jordan Fischer jordan@youarecurrent.com Town officials say they already expect a full plate of projects and challenges in 2012 – not the least of them INDOT’s plans for construction at I-69 and 116th Street, and the town’s own plans for intersection improvements.

With three new faces on the town council, and vacancies in several department chairs left open by retirements, Town Manager Scott Fadness and members of the council say 2012 promises to be a reinFadness vigorating year for Fishers.

going to lead.”

Saying the main focus of 2011 was transportation, George said he believes development will take the forefront in 2012.

“You can get a lot done in a depressed economy … we were able to take advantage of the economic environment in regards to construction prices,” George said. “Now, with the two hospitals opening, it’s another thing indicative of people putting money into the town. If they do that, it’s indicative that they think we’re moving in the right direction.

Communication and service

“With all of the construction projects we had this year … we can never communicate enough,” Fadness said. “It’s certainly something we learned from this year, and we’re going to do better.”

That will be especially important in 2012, Fadness said, with “The first thing we wanted to do out of Fishers Advantage is an ambitious road construction schedule planned – kicking off build excitement about all the great things Fishers has to offer,” as soon as weather permits with planned improvements to I-69 said Fadness about the new economic development initiative which will affect traffic for a significant portion of the year. The recently rolled out by the town. “These conversations and types town also has intersection improvements planned at 96th Street of interest aren’t always public, you don’t always see us talking to (commercial prospects), but I assure you, the view and perception and Allisonville Road, 131st Street and Lantern Road, and Fall Creek and Brooks School roads. of Fishers is already changing. Fishers Advantage is about hitting The new year will bring with it budget challenges – as the town the ground running.” will have an expected extra $1.5 million to pay from restructuring Town council members seem to be on the same page as Fadto the county’s 911 dispatch service – and important decisions as ness – economic development was their first topic of discussion to who will fill vacancies left by the retirements of longtime town for the Town’s 2012 outlook. employees Wes Bucher and Mike Booth. The challenges aren’t new, “In my mind, it’s certainly about continued focus on vision said Fadness, who added that 2011 looked much the same way. and commercial development,” said Pete Peterson, who will be “We’ve had a lot of turnover this year, and we were able to representing the new Council District 1 come Jan. 1. “The town complete a lot of that transition without residents ever seeing a has exploded immensely. I look at Fishers as a junior or senior in deterioration of services,” he college, and it’s time for us said. “We keep things movto pick a major. We need ing and make sure residents to pick what our identity is come first.” going to be moving into our “Like everything else, adult life.” we’ve got to look at money, “I think it will be driven money, money,” said council from a couple of fronts,” member Mike Colby. “The Peterson added. “Number economy is still not good. one, I think the town has We’ll probably start getting to lead … and I think that into times where, because was demonstrated by the of changes in assessed valuadowntown project that tion … I think it’s going to Scott Fadness and (Council be a challenge to make sure member) David George we live within our means.” have come up with it. It’s Proposed downtown rendering those visions that I think are

Economic development

www.youarecurrent.com

Current in Fishers

A new council

Photo by Jordan Fischer

For the first time in more than a decade, the Fishers Town Council will have nearly an even mix of incumbents and new faces. Returning council members Scott Faultless, Stuart Easley, George and Mike Colby – who replaced former council member Charlie White and was re-elected to a full term in May – will be joined by Renee Cox, John Weingardt and Peterson.

Typical election-year disagreements Cox between candidates were especially heated in 2011, as several of the now-incoming council members were also major players in opposition movements to council initiatives – chiefly among them the Geist annexation and the proposed plan of reorganization which would see the town become a “hybrid city.”

“I’m not one to think that conflict is a bad thing,” Peterson said. “There’s nothing Peterson wrong with reasonable people disagreeing.

With some of that conflict, you get compromise. And sometimes, compromise is not a bad thing.”

As far as his role in leading the Geist United Opposition, Peterson said “what’s past is past.”

“I don’t anticipate any kind of adversarial situation,” he said. “The council members who are remaining, I get along very well with. We’re part of the town, and Weingardt I want to see Geist residents welcomed into the town. I think it’s going to be great for them in the long run, because Fishers is a great place to live and work.”

Weingardt, who was elected into the seat formerly held by Art Levine – and held by Ed Offerman in the interim between Levine’s departure and the beginning of the new council session – said he’s excited, and a little nervous, to begin representing the town he’s lived in since 1992.

“The town manager and his team have been phenomenal in offering assistance and support and information,” Weingardt said, adding that the town is paying for he and his freshman colleagues to attend a “municipal-official boot camp.” As far as the tenor of the council, Weingardt said he expects everyone to continue giving Fishers residents “the best service possible.”

“I think there’s going to be more discussion than there ever has been,” he said. “I think we’re going to agree a lot more than we’re going to disagree. It’s not a revolution. I’d say it’s more of an evolution.”

January 3, 2012 | 9

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RQAW awarded Station 96 design agreement

By Jordan Fischer jordan@youarecurrent.com As an addendum to the Dec. 19 meeting of the Fishers Town Council, Indianapolis-based RQAW, an engineering and consulting firm, was awarded the design contract for Fire Station 96, planned for the intersection of 106th Street and Florida Road.

RQAW served as the architectural and engineering design and construction administrator for Fire Station 93, the 6,400-square-foot facility located at 10501 Allisonville Rd. In October, the Town awarded the construction management contract for the new station, and expansion and renovations planned for Fire Station 92, to Fishers-based Meyer Najem Construction. Previous Meyer Najem projects include the Hamilton County Correctional Facility annex in Noblesville, and a 77,000-square-foot renovation and addition to Noblesville City Hall.

Twelve days of

The council also approved the town’s 2012 employee salary ordinance. The ordinance adds a small number of new positions – including a judge position for the newly established town court – and leaves unchanged town council members’ maximum bi-weekly salary of $461.54.

“There will be no increase whatsoever in terms of remuneration for members of the town council,” said council member Stuart Easley. “In light of policy decisions some places are making, I thought it was important to note that.”

In September, the Carmel City Council approved a contentious ordinance which would allow council members to opt-in to the city’s health insurance policy. The cost to Carmel taxpayers is expected to be $6,123 per council member that opts-in, and up to $20,960 for a council member’s family. Under the ordinance, Carmel would pay 75 percent of council members’ premiums.

Christmas

CD

Crews tackle Christmas Eve sewage overflow

By Jordan Fischer jordan@youarecurrent.com A blocked sewage pipe near the intersection of Allisonville Road and River Glen Drive caused a manhole to surcharge Dec. 24, prompting temporary road closures as crews made emergency repairs.

Crews discovered a blockage in a 24-inch reinforced concrete pipe which, due to reduced flow, caused sewage to overflow onto

Allisonville Road. The overflow was quickly contained by town employees, who excavated the pipe before permanently repairs were made. No homes or businesses were affected by the sewage overflow.

“We would like to sincerely thank all public works and public safety personnel for tackling this situation swiftly and giving up time with their families to ensure safety,” said Town Manager Scott Fadness.

The most wonderful time of the year EDUCATION

By Freedom Kolb The holidays came early this year for 41 HSE teachers thanks to a little help from the Hamilton Southeastern Schools Foundation (HSSF).

The organization, dedicated to enhancing the educational experience for HSE students, officially presented $42,620 in classroom grants at the Nov. 28 school board meeting.

Lisa Wissman, vice president of grants and scholarships for the foundation, said “This round of funding will reach over 6,800 students throughout our district schools. While the projects funded represent a broad array of disciplines and age levels, they share a common element of innovation.”

Indeed, academic innovation was in abundance.

The projects included translation-equipped iPods for English language learners, electronic bookmarks for logging elementary reading times, a world map mural for celebrating student diversity and multicultural inclusion, as well as several stateof-the-art technology upgrades.

While technology is a popular request among applicants, it is often difficult to secure funding.

The projects must fully integrate the component into curriculum in a unique, engaging manner.

Successful in this approach were Fishers High School Band Directors Michael Carpenter and

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Charles Kunz, who were awarded four iPad units as well as a Bluetooth music adapter.

Geist Half Marathon representatives Tom Britt and Matt Troyer were also on hand to present a $20,000 donation check. These funds are dedicated to Fitnessgram, a wellness-based initiative being implemented district-wide. The Fitnessgram program is an individualized approach to personal health, not simply a measure of athleticism. The project will empower students in the areas of fitness and nutrition and is designed to assist in combating childhood obesity trends.

Executive Director Lisa Allen said, “Each recipient was selected through a competitive application process. Our community is so fortunate to have so many incredible teachers who think outside the box and truly engage our students.

The Hamilton Southeastern Schools Foundation is proud to be able to support their efforts.”

To learn more about HSSF, or for a complete listing of fall grant awards and recipients, please visit www.hsefoundation.org.

Freedom Kolb is a community volunteer and board member with the Hamilton Southeastern Schools Foundation. To contact Freedom, write editorial@youarecurrent.com.

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January 3, 2012 | 11

Healthy Times A W E E K LY P U B L I C AT I O N O F S T. V I N C E N T M E D I C A L C E N T E R N O R T H E A S T

northeast.stvincent.org

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13914 Southeastern Parkway (I-69 & State Road 238) Fishers, IN (317) 415-9000

ISSUE #46

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Dr. Leyla Akanli Pediatric Pulmonologist

You might need fewer (or more) Pap tests than you’re getting.

“take a deep breath.” it’s good advice for stressful situations. But when your child is struggling for air as a result of asthma or cystic fibrosis, it can be hard to do. With

Who should have a Pap test and how often? What used to be a fairly straightforward question has become a little tougher to answer with new guidelines from the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.

Before the new guidelines, a Pap test typically was part of a woman’s annual exam, which also includes a breast and pelvic exam — two important screenings that you still need, even though you probably do not need an annual Pap test.

The best way to find out how often you should be having this important cervical cancer screening is to talk to your healthcare provider. In the meantime, here is a look at the basics of the guidelines: • The age at which you get your first Pap is 21. Formerly, women were advised to get their first Pap within three years of becoming sexually active. But HPV is a virus that leads to most abnormal Paps. Although certain strains of this virus lead to cervical cancer, most go away on their own. Your body naturally fights them off. Waiting until you are 21 gives your immune system a chance to work its magic and prevents unnecessary procedures.

• Any woman who no longer has a cervix because of a hysterectomy (removing the cervix isn’t always part of a hysterectomy) and who has never had an abnormal pap smear doesn’t need Paps anymore. However, if you have your ovaries, you still need to have a pelvic and breast exam every year.

• Women between the ages of 21 and 30 need to have a pap every two years. Remember, this does not mean you can skip a yearly exam, which also includes a pelvic and breast exam, and a chance to address other female issues.

• Around age 65-70, you may be able to stop having Paps.

If you have had three normal Paps and no abnormal Paps in the past 10 years, you might be able to stop.

Talk to your healthcare provider.

To schedule an appointment or for help finding a healthcare provider, call the Center for Women’s Health, located at St.Vincent Medical Center Northeast at 317-415-9010.

the resources at the Pediatric Pulmonology center at Peyton manning children’s Hospital at st.Vincent, dr. leyla akanli makes it a little easier by providing comprehensive diagnosis and treatment for children with a wide range of respiratory conditions and disorders. dr. akanli is a pediatric pulmonologist who studied medicine in istanbul and completed her residency and pulmonary fellowship in new York. Before joining the Peyton manning children’s Hospital at st.Vincent team in 2007, she taught Pediatrics and Pediatric Pulmonology at University Hospitals in new Jersey and california. dr. akanli also serves as the medical director of the Pediatric sleep disorders center. in her free time, she enjoys spending time with her family.

To schedule an appointment with Dr. Akanli call 317-338-2825. She is located in Suite 108 at St.Vincent Medical Center Northeast. For more information about children’s asthma, including symptoms, causes and treatments, visit peytonmanning.stvincent.org/asthma.

H E A LT H Y T I M E S

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A publication of St.Vincent Medical Center Northeast

K i d s H e a lt H l i n e . c o m

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When it comes to the twists and turns of your child’s health, sometimes you’re left with questions. thankfully, advice is just a phone call away at 317-338-Kids. a free service provided by Peyton manning children’s Hospital at st.Vincent, 338-Kids connects you with registered nurses — 24/7 — for kids’ health advice. You can also find answers online at KidsHealthline.com, your best local resource for children’s health information.

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Visit KidsHealthLine.com/CIF to sign-up for our free KidsHealthTip of the Day and to learn more. And, when you need to speak with a registered nurse about your kids’ health, call 317-338-KIDS anytime — day or night.

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Humane Society for Hamilton County animals receive adoptions as holiday gifts

By Robert Herrington robert@youarecurrent.com “Will they have a home for Christmas?

Can they plan on you?

They don’t care if there is snow or mistletoe and can be the present under the tree.

Christmas Eve will find them where the love light gleams.

Will they have a home for Christmas?

If only in their dreams.”

Humane Society for Hamilton County Executive Director Rebecca Stevens received her Christmas wish on Black Friday. Every day since then has been an extra gift as she sheds tears of joy watching “her babies” leave the shelter for new homes just in time for the holidays.

Her most emotional goodbye came as Pearl, a 5-year-old American pit bull terrier/Labrador retriever, finally found a home as Suzanne Kim of Noblesville filed paperwork to adopt the canine the day after Thanksgiving. Stevens described Pearl as the “epitome of a survivor” because she was brought into the shelter three years ago after being found in a ditch alongside the road with a cable imbedded in her neck.

“It was a personal project – a labor of love for three years,” said Stevens. “She spent a long time waiting for a consistent home … She is the dog that will wake me up at 3 a.m. I thought about selling my house to give her a home. I kept thinking, ‘I have to do something.’”

Pearl, who was included for the third consecutive year on the shelter’s annual Featured 50 holiday campaign, holds the HSHC record for an animal that’s waited the longest to be adopted. Except for brief stays in temporary foster homes, Pearl has lived at the shelter.

“When she left it was a huge weight lifted off me,” said Stevens. “It was the highlight of my year.”

Just days later, another familiar face – Devin the dog – found a new home.

“Two long timers got homes a week apart. It’s the best present any of us could have wanted,” Stevens said.

Then Pacer found a new home. It became an epidemic that animals which called the shelter home the longest found someplace new to call theirs.

“It was a miracle that it took as long as it did,” said Jennifer Judd, HSHC’s manager of marketing and public relations. “They were just waiting for the right families. We knew there had to be someone out there for them.”

In addition to the shelter’s annual Homeward Bound for the Holidays campaign – which runs

through the end of the month – Stevens personally delivered adopted pets on Christmas morning along with her team of elves.

“Every year we have many parents who want to surprise their kids with an adopted cat or dog for Christmas but are unable to do so since the shelter is closed on Christmas Day,” she said. “We want to make this an unforgettable moment for the kids … We’ll be involved in your conspiracy too so it will be a surprise for the family.”

“Our team was very excited to offer this program,” said Stevens. “Several employees and board members volunteered their time for the chance to see the faces of some very happen children and the faces of some equally happy shelter animals when they realize they’re finally home.

We can’t think of a better way to spend Christmas day.”

Pearl Stevens, her HSHC elves and Santa made their first surprise delivery Dec. 20 to the Santerre family of Noblesville. Holding a green, wrapped present, Santa presented Rochelle, Caroline and Julia with an early Christ-

by the numbers Through November, the Humane Society for Hamilton County took in 3,232 animals and had 2,630 dogs and cats adopted this year. Of the 3,232 animals (1,692 cats and 1,540 dogs), Executive Director Rebecca Stevens said 1,119 were owner surrenders and 2,113 were strays. Stevens added that the shelter returned 561 lost pets to their owners and transferred 244 animals to rescues in 2011. mas gift – a Pomeranian mix named Sheldon – as their parents Peter and Jennifer watched with giant smiles on their faces. With glee, the young girls announced they had a new addition to the family and gave Santa a big hug.

“We got another dog! That was a nice present,” Caroline exclaimed. “This dog is perfect.”

“I was wondering if it was Sheldon,” added Rochelle, who wrote a persuasive paper for school about getting a second canine. “I’m really, really happy he is a lap dog so we can spend more time petting him as he sits with us.”

The idea for the surprise was concocted by Peter, who only informed his wife before purchasing the animal.

“We told them Pete’s friend Nick is coming over … We had to lie to our kids through our teeth on this one. It was a good surprise,” said Jennifer. “This is the best conspiracy ever – over the top. He’s going to be earning kudos for this for years. He did a really good job. We’ve talked about getting a small dog for months. To see him act on it is awesome!”

‘Un-resolutions’ for parents Feathers earns Eagle Scout COMMENTARY

By Susan Bryant A new year, and the pressure to improve ourselves with various resolutions begins. We start with the best intentions Jan. 1, but soon enough old habits creep back in and our motivation fizzles.

What if not having a goal was our goal? I think a better strategy for success would be a list of “un-resolutions” – what we shouldn’t do instead of what we should do. As parents, our “to do” list seems never-ending. Maybe taking a few things off our plate, and depositing them on our kids’, would help us both.

Here’s a list of things we could resolve not to do anymore for our children. Let yourself off the hook and try a few: Find or replace all their lost stuff. Some lessons are learned the hard way. Whether it’s a favorite shirt, a Nintendo or a wallet, losing something important is difficult. The plus side is that once you’ve been careless with something valuable, hopefully you become more responsible with your possessions in the future. That is, unless mom or dad replaces that treasured item before the message gets a chance to sink in.

Pay my kid for doing nothing. Giving kids money for doing chores – yes. Giving them money for simply existing – no. In the real world, you get paid when you work. Not when

14 | January 3, 2012

you eat Cheetos on the couch and play Wii. Having an allowance is great for learning money management, but part of that lesson is understanding how you earn money in the first place.

Take ownership of their school work. Who wants to do sixth grade math again? Once is enough for me. It is my child’s responsibility to learn it now. I can help, but if I’m more concerned about an upcoming test than they are, that’s a problem. At a certain point, kids need to learn that their education belongs to them.

Step in too quickly. One of the hardest parts of parenting is watching your child struggle. Our first reaction is often to jump in and fix whatever’s wrong. Sometimes this instinct is right; other times it backfires. When we rescue kids from every difficulty, we deny them the opportunity to solve a problem themselves. We can’t get upset with kids who don’t learn how to be self-reliant if we’ve set it up so that they don’t have to be.

Sometimes the mistakes we make as parents don’t come from a lack of caring, but caring too much. Deciding to dial back our help is hard.

Our children need it and we want to give it.

Ultimately, resolving to dole out our assistance more thoughtfully will help us both.

Susan Bryant is a freelance writer and mother of two in Fishers. You can reach her at susanbryant7@gmail.com

By Jordan Fischer jordan@youarecurrent.com Fishers resident Brandon Sean Feathers, 17, was recently awarded the rank of Eagle Scout by the Boy Scouts of America Crossroads of America Council.

Eagle Scout is the highest rank a boy scout can achieve, and is the culmination of years of effort on the part of scouts who, on top of earning numerous badges for their achievements, must perform an “Eagle Project” benefitting their community to earn the rank.

Feathers, a student at Fishers High School, is the son of Kevin and Debra Feathers.

For his Eagle Project, Feathers tackled improvements to Third Phase’s food and donation pantry. Third Phase is Hamilton County’s largest shelter, food and clothing pantry. It is located in Noblesville at 15755 Allisonville Rd. Prior to Feathers’ project, shelving units in the pantry were insufficient to support the weight of items, and were bowing. As well, during heavy donation periods, there was insufficient space for all items needing storage.

Feathers removed everything from the room sorted all food items by type, and installed metal shelving to better meet the needs of the

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Feathers Submitted Photo

pantry.

After 11 years in scouting, and earning 62 merit badges, the Boy Scouts of America accepted Feathers’ Eagle Project on Dec. 11, conferring upon him the rank of Eagle Scout.

Beyond scouting, Feathers’ said he plans to attend college after graduation and participate in an Air Force ROTC program.

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DISPATCHES » Winter gardening tips – 1.New bare root roses should now be available to purchase at garden centers. 2. Apply a layer of winter mulch to protect your perennials after the first few freezes. 3. Remember to remove any leaves from your lawn and gardens, as the leaves can block sunlight or encourage disease among your plants.

-www.almanac.com » U.S. drinks most wine – According to the Wine Institute, the U.S. surpassed France last year as the world’s largest wine-consuming nation, with wine shipments to the U.S. from California, other states and foreign producers growing 2 percent from the previous year to nearly 330 million cases, a record high for the industry. The estimated retail value of these sales was $30 billion, up 4 percent from 2009.

California wine accounted for a 61 percent volume share of the total U.S. wine market, with sales at 199.6 million cases.

- thestreet.com

Dec. 31 – Come celebrate the end of 2011 at the inaugural “Family First Night” New Year’s Eve event at the Hamilton County 4-H Grounds Exhibition Hall C, 2003 Pleasant St., Noblesville.

The event will include free movies, games and food. Doors open at 7 p.m. with the double feature starting at 7:30 p.m. Movies include “The Apple Dumpling Gang” (1975) starring Don Knotts and “Lassie Come Home” (1943) starring Roddy McDowall and Elizabeth Taylor.

Dec. 31 – Hamilton County Art Center & Birdie Gallery195 S. Fifth St., Noblesville, invites the public to visit and see art that represents “Good Things Come in Small Packages.” Birdie Gallery hours are 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Thursday, Friday and Saturday. For more information, visit www.hcaa-in.org.

Now to Jan. 7, 2012 – Grab your golden ticket as Civic Theatre presents Roald Dahl’s “Willy

LIVE MUSIC Mickey’s Irish Pub, 13644 N. Meridian St. For more information call 573-9746.

Friday, Jan. 6 – Zanna-Doo! Saturday, Jan. 7 – Living Proof Mo’s Irish Pub, 13193 Levinson Lane in the Hamilton Town Center, Noblesville. For more

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» Marathon to benefit St. Jude – The Carmel Road Racing Group and St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital recently announced a new partnership for the second annual Carmel Marathon Championship Weekend, to be held April 21. As a featured St. Jude Heroes event, participants of the Carmel Marathon, Carmel Half-Marathon Presented by Runners Forum, Championship Weekend 8K and 1-Mile Family Fitness Walk can join St. Jude’s fight against childhood cancer. For more information, visit www.carmelmarathon.com.

Hire Us Before Your Spouse Does CALL 317-DIVORCE

» Van Halen, Roth touring in 2012 – Van Halen is going back out on the road with a familiar face. The band has announced that they’re touring in 2012, with frontman David Lee Roth, guitarist Eddie Van Halen, drummer Alex Van Halen and bassist Wolfgang Van Halen along for the ride. According to Entertainment Weekly, they were all last on the road in 2007, which was the first time Van Halen was back together with Roth since a brief reunion in 1996. Tickets will go on sale starting January 10, although specific dates have yet to be released.

-www.cnn.com

Wonka” at The Tarkington, 3 Center Green, Carmel. Performances are 7 p.m. Wednesday through Friday, 2 and 7 p.m. Saturday and 2 p.m. Sunday with no shows on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. Join Charlie Bucket and his quirky cohorts on a tantalizing tour of the mysterious candy-maker’s fantastical factory. For more information, call 8433800 or visit www.civictheatre.org.

DIVORCE & FAMILY LAW MEDIATION & COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE Custody Child Support Prenuptial Agreements Adoptions Education Law

Jan. 14 – 500 Clown: Frankenstein at the Studio Theater, 3 Center Green, Carmel, at 8 p.m.

Three clowns embark on a madcap journey to construct Dr. Frankenstein’s laboratory. Stymied by elaborate and exaggerated period costumes, the clowns are propelled into acrobatic feats in an extended battle with an unruly table. 500 Clown rapidly moves between planned elements and improvisation, leaving its audiences excitedly uncertain as to what is and what is not planned. For more information, call 843-3800 or visit www.thcenterfortheperformingarts.org. information, call 770-9020.

Saturday, Dec. 31 – Something Rather Naughty Moon Dog Tavern, 825 E 96th St., Indianapolis, 46240. Call 575-6364 for more information.

Friday, Jan. 6 – Toy Factory Saturday, Jan. 7 – Alan Kaye and the Toons

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Current in Fishers

January 3, 2012 | 15

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Rosie’s Place The scoop: Rosie’s Place is a warm, inviting café located on the downtown square in Noblesville.

Featuring homemade, Midwestern-inspired fare, Rosie’s is a gathering place for friends and families. Come settle in for breakfast or lunch and enjoy a fresh, satisfying meal or a slice of gooey butter cake at the bakery. Rosie’s believes in serving good, honest food prepared with fresh, local, and seasonal ingredients. The menu changes daily and seasonally, in order to bring guests the best selection of items at their peak. Rosie’s promotes local, Indiana farmers’ products and use no artificial ingredients or preservatives in its recipes.

Type of Food: Breakfast/brunch, bakery and American Price of Entrees: $4.50 to $8.50 Specialties: You can’t miss with anything from the bakery Reservations: Not accepted

Marnier Chocolate Bonbon

Marcus Bethea, general manager, Sahms Restaurant

Ingredients: • 1 oz. Grand Marnier • 1/2 oz. Don Julio Anejo Tequila • 3 oz. hot chocolate • Layer of fresh cream Preperations: Combine Grand Marnier, tequila, and hot chocolate in an Irish coffee (or small wine) glass. Layer 1/2 inch of handwhipped cream over the top.

Where do you like to dine? The Roost What do you like to eat there?

The fried chicken. It’s great!

What do you like about the Roost? I love the homestyle, home-cooked menu.

Everything is made from scratch.

The Roost is located at 7371 E. 116th St., Fishers. The phone number is 842-3735.

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Take-out: Yes Delivery: No Dress: Casual Hours: 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. Monday through Friday and 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturday and Sunday Phone: 770-3322 Address: 68 N. Ninth St., Noblesville Website: www.rosiesplace.net

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DISPATCHES » E. coli on your face – Your iPhone or Android is likely harboring a host of harmful germs and bacteria, including E. coli, say University of London researchers. The U.K. team stopped random Britons and collected swab samples from 390 cell phones in 12 cities. The research team found that 16 percent of the phones were contaminated with fecal matter in the form of E. coli. What’s more, 92 percent of the phones contained some type of pathogen.That’s not surprising, researchers say, as phones are rarely, if ever, disinfected and warm phones create great breeding grounds for bacteria.

-www.menshealth.com » Study: Part-time dieting is best – In a recent study, presented at the San Antonio Breast Cancer Symposium, British researchers found that women who eliminated carbohydrate-rich foods like bread, pasta, potatoes and rice two days a week and ate their normal diet the rest of the time lost an average of 9 lbs. over four months. Meanwhile, women in a similar group who ate a 1,500-cal.-perday Mediterranean-style diet for the same time period lost only 5 lbs. Women on the intermittent diet not only lost more weight but also showed greater improvements on other markers of health, including levels of insulin and leptin.

-www.time.com

» Smokers who quit are happier – New research shows that people who successfully quit smoking are more satisfied with their lives. The researchers looked at 1,504 people who took part in a smoking cessation trial in the United States. The authors assessed each participant’s smoking status and quality of life one year and three years after the smoking cessation trial. Findings suggested that, over the long-term, individuals will be happier and more satisfied with their lives if they stop smoking than if they do not, the researchers wrote. The study’s “quality of life” measures included the participant’s health, self-regard, philosophy of life and personal relationships.

-www.livescience.com » Broccoli for back pain? – You know that calcium is key for strong bones, but Japanese researchers have identified something else you need: vitamin K. It’s believed that the vitamin, found in broccoli, spinach, and other dark leafy greens, helps calcium deposit in the bones, making them denser. The stronger your bones, the stronger your whole body—and the lower your chances of an injury that could cause back pain.

-www.health.com

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Food cravings: Ever wonder why?

HEALTH

By Dr. Roger Spahr I want to talk about food cravings. Actually, I want to talk about neuropeptide Y. Now before your eyes roll-up into their sockets and you skip this “brainy” article to peruse the ads for Ab Rockers and Thigh Masters, let me promise you – this is very easy to understand.

If you have ever seen an Olympic track meet or a car race, you know there is a pistol or a flag that initiates the beginning of the race. There is preparation, and organization behind the scenes on both the competitors’ and organizers’ parts.

Then BANG! The race is on. Often the preparation is far longer than the actual race, but the race is the main event.

Neuropeptide Y is released from a part of the brain called the hypothalmus. This is a major regulator of hormones and metabolism for the body. This hormone affects energy balance, memory and learning. Its main effect is to increase food intake and reduce physical activity.

Additionally, it increases the proportion of energy stored as fat.

You might ask why would the body even think about having a hormone that did that?

Neuropeptide Y is one of a series of hormones and other brain chemicals which are connected and necessary to survive in times of high physi-

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cal challenges and emotional duress in areas of limited food resources. Your body needs that ability. However, it is not needed in the times of high carbohydrate consumption of three pounds of sugar per week.

Back to starting a race – when your body or brain is subjected to ongoing and continued stressors, your tendency is to sit in one place and feed; i.e. couch and “name your favorite junk food here.” That is stimulated by a combination of stress hormones that includes cortisol, as well as neuropeptide Y. The problem is that high fat and carbohydrate diets further stimulate neuropeptide Y and cortisol. The stressors just started the race to release those factors that slow you down and build fat.

Your alternative is to race in the other direction. Do the preparation. Find foods that are low in simple carbohydrates and richer in protein and fiber. Build regularly scheduled physical activity into your weekly routine. When the gun goes off, and your stressors show up, make sure you race to the finish line a winner.

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Dr. Roger Spahr is a board certified physician in family medicine who practices Functional Medicine with Ailanto Group. To reach Roger, write him at webmaster@ailanto.com.

Current in Fishers

Next to the Monon Trail off of Main Street www.sttropezcafe.com

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January 3, 2012 | 17

Views | Community | Cover Story | Diversions | Anti-Aging | Dough | Inside & Out | Laughs | Puzzles | Classifieds

DISPATCHES

» Building hits two-year high – Home building spiked up in November to the strongest level in almost two years, as record-low mortgage rates and a surge in apartment and condo construction lifted activity. Housing starts shot up to an annual rate of 685,000 in the month, up 9.3 percent from October and 24.3 percent higher than a year earlier.

Building activity easily topped predictions of 627,000 starts economists surveyed by Briefing.com were expecting.

-CNNMoney » Economists predict growth – The U.S. economy will grow faster in 2012 — if it isn’t knocked off track by upheavals in Europe, according to an Associated Press survey of leading economists. The three dozen private, corporate and academic economists expect the economy to grow 2.4 percent next year.

In 2011, it likely grew less than 2 percent. The economists surveyed expect the country to create 177,000 jobs a month through Elec-

tion Day 2012. That would be up from an average 132,000 jobs a month so far in 2011.

-Associated Press » Customer service secret – When things don’t go your way, make the Internet your microphone by posting a complaint on the business’s Facebook page or your Twitter feed. Companies have departments dedicated to surfing the Internet and making sure their brands are protected, and many have separate Twitter handles for help, such as @ComcastCares and @DeltaAssist. For example, when Connecticut resident Jonathan Whitbourne’s dryer malfunctioned after just six months, he posted a complaint on Maytag’s Facebook page. A rep responded within an hour and gave him a deal on in-home service.

-www.money.cnn.com » Sell unwanted gifts – Clothing and fashion accessories that reflect specific tastes are big post-holiday sellers on eBay. That’s why listing the size of an item on the site isn’t enough. Because clothing sizes vary greatly, include measurements in your product listing to maximize the resale value. For tops, common measurements include underarm to underarm, and from the top of the collar to the bottom of the hem on the back of the shirt.

-www.dailyfinance.com

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Insuring a multi-driver family INSURANCE Q&A

By Ryan Samuelson Question from Curtis P. from Westfield: I have a couple of vehicles and three people driving in my family. I want to make sure I’m doing everything I can to get the best price. Any tips?

Response from Ryan Samuelson: The first thing you need to do is make sure you have an independent insurance agent helping you find the right coverage for you.

Independent insurance agents have access to multiple carriers and will be able to find the right coverage at the best price by checking all of them. The key is finding the right balance of coverage and price. Your independent agent will be able to explain what you are sacrificing as you adjust coverage to get a lower price (unlike getting your insurance from the Internet).

There are also a couple of things to keep in mind if you have young drivers on your policy.

Make sure that your young driver is assigned to the correct vehicle. The difference between an 18-year-old being the primary driver on a Toyota Camry versus being the primary on a new Mercedes is significant. Make sure your agent knows if your child is a good student also.

Many carriers give a discount for young drivers that stay on the honor roll.

18 | January 3, 2012

You can also double check that your vehicles are listed properly on your insurance policy.

Look over your policy to make sure you are receiving a credit if your vehicle has an alarm or security system. Make sure that your yearly driving estimates are still accurate. Changing the amount you drive each year can alter your premium. You should also make sure that your coverage reflects the value of the vehicle you are insuring. For example, it doesn’t make much sense to have full coverage insurance with a $1000 deductible on a vehicle that is only worth $2,000. A mistake like that adds unnecessary premiums to your policy.

The last thing you need to do is make sure you are maximizing your policy discounts. A multi-policy discount is probably the most valuable discount that people miss out on. You can qualify for this even if you don’t own a home.

Pairing a renter’s insurance policy OR a homeowners insurance policy with your auto policy will qualify you for a great discount.

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Ryan Samuelson is with Shepherd Insurance & Finanacial Services. Have an insurance question you need answered? Send it to asktheadvisor@ shepherdins.com.

Current in Fishers

www.youarecurrent.com

Views | Community | Cover Story | Diversions | Anti-Aging | Dough | Inside & Out | Laughs | Puzzles | Classifieds

To hang or not to hang?

DESIGN

By David Decker Trends: They come and go … and most likely come back again. Who hasn’t gone through a major closet overhaul and tossed aside the old argyle sweater or “Flashdance” style T-shirt only to kick themselves later when it is front and center on the cover of a magazine claiming to be the hottest new style? This also seems to be the case as you look around at those same closet walls that still have floral-patterned wallpaper only Carol Brady could appreciate. So, as we tend to change our fashion style to stay current, often our sense of “home fashion” doesn’t fall far behind.

There’s no doubt the current trend in custom home improvements is to cover walls with paint, texturing and various artistic applications. The other option is getting out the glue and glamour by using good old fashioned wallpaper. However, to some this route may seem a tad passé and seemingly few designs withstand the test of that much time. So what to choose?

The positive aspects of rolling with the paint route is that is can be easily changed whenever the mood calls for a refresh, or perhaps a remodel occurs in the kitchen or bath area. On the flip side, it can be hard to maintain that newly clean, sharp look as fingerprints, cooking disasters or daily nicks here and there occur more frequently than we bargain for. This leads to a “honey-do” list and dusting off the old paint cans for a frequent touch up session (most conveniently during Superbowl Sunday).

There is no question that choosing paint lends itself to the most versatility when keeping up with ever-changing trends. That being

said, insert three cheers for modern wallpaper technology and its seemingly infinite selection of design, texture and ability to convey your unique home personality.

Even though when comparing wallpaper to paint it is generally more expensive and more complicated to install, it also wears better, lasts longer and, in most cases, offers many more design options at a lesser cost than custom hand or “faux” painting.

So therein leaves the last question when it comes to choosing this option to give your home a design touch up … do it myself or know when to call in the professionals? My best answer is that no matter who you are, about 90 percent of the time removing wallpaper is a pain and installing wallpaper around kitchen or bathroom cabinets is not for beginners.

You may as well leave it to the pros.

And when wallpaper is installed properly, there is every good reason to expect it to last for decades and to outlast the latest fashion … unless argyle comes back with a vengeance, that is.

David Decker is president of the Affordable Companies which include Affordable Kitchens and Bathrooms and now Affordable Custom Flooring. They are based in Carmel (317-595-9540, www. the-affordablecompanies.com). Email home improvement questions to david.decker@the-affordablecompanies.com.

Who are all these people in my house?

DECORATING

By Vicky Earley The path to building or remodeling a beautiful interior space often takes twists along the way that require the expertise of various design professionals. Skills might overlap to some degree but for the most part, each specialty has its own expertise: The architect is the visionary who plans, designs and can oversee new construction and remodeling. This specialty is often a first step for new additions and major remodeling.

The general contractor typically works from plans drawn by other professional. In the simplest scenario, the general contractor will manage permits and oversee the laborers involved in the project. General contractors often have additional specialties that make them ideal for kitchen and bath remodels.

This is where the kitchen and bath designer enters the picture. To get the most from building in these areas, a certified kitchen designer or a certified bath designer is well worth contacting. They are schooled in all aspects of these workhorse rooms, including materials, plumbing, layout and aesthetics.

These specialists have a myriad of letters next to their names based on amount and type of education.

Interior designers are focused on the overall functionality and aesthetic of a space.

Through renderings, space plans, lighting plans, color selections and material selection, their job is to ensure that the finished product works well and looks beautiful.

With numerous entities involved, it is

critical to know who is in charge and overseeing the project through completion. Whoever is tapped to act as project manager, you should expect assistance in contractor selection, reviewing contracts and change orders.

Your project manager will negotiate inspection services and navigate other governmental requirements. The project manager checks in on-site during construction, is present during critical installations and is available to answer questions and troubleshoot problems.

The project manager will tap resources to provide supplemental services that become needed during a renovation such as insect or animal control or mold, radon or asbestos abatement.

With numerous entities involved, it is critical to know who is in charge and overseeing the project through completion.

Vicky Earley is the principal designer for Artichoke Designs in downtown Carmel. If you have an interior design question, please contact artichokedesigns@aol.com.

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January 3, 2012 | 19

Views | Community | Cover Story | Diversions | Anti-Aging | Dough | Inside & Out | Laughs | Puzzles | Classifieds

That’s the spirit HUMOR

By Dick Wolfsie I’d like to take over the late Andy Rooney’s job on 60 Minutes, but I may not be quite cantankerous enough. Maybe I just need a little practice. So here’s my final shot at grumpiness for 2011. I hope they’re paying attention over at CBS… What’s the deal with bills from your health insurance company that say: THIS IS NOT A BILL. Then why the heck are they sending it to me? The idea of a warning does have some legitimate applications. That thing you see in the grocery store called a plantain? How about a sign for them: THIS IS NOT A BANANA. Or maybe a label on the container of Comet cleanser that says: THIS IS NOT GRATED PARMESAN CHEESE. And for some of my columns: THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE FUNNY. Yes, those kinds of warnings would be helpful.

Why couldn’t baseball fans get the World Series on the radio last month? I don’t have a fancy-shmancy satellite service. I wasn’t looking for Howard Stern or Glenn Beck that night on the dial. I was looking for Alfred Pujols. If you are not a baseball fan, you don’t know who Pujols is. If you do know who Pujols is and you root for the St. Louis Cardinals, now you really have something to be cranky about, too.

Why is the automatic entry door at Kroger on the left side and the exit door on the right?

Who came up with this cockamamie idea? I often wonder in general whether I’m coming or going. This is making it even tougher on me.

I feel very guilty when I walk past a Salvation Army bell ringer even though I dropped something in the kettle 20 minutes earlier. I’d like a punch card that shows what I’ve already donated. Then all those Santas wouldn’t think I was so cheap.

I asked the clerk at the service station the other day if they had windshield wiper fluid. “Yes,” she said, “do you want cherry or orange?” I don’t think wiper fluid should come in different flavors. I want a clean windshield, not a cough remedy.

“Hi, this is Joe. I’ll be out of the office until Nov. 28. Have a great Thanksgiving.” This is just a guess, Joe, but I have a feeling you’re not out of the office for the next 11 months. I bet you didn’t change your VM when you got back last month.

And I’m pretty sure you won’t change it again until you go to Bermuda in April.

Normally, when you make lists, there are ten items. I could only think of six. That’s proof I need more practice at being grumpy.

Dick Wolfsie is an author, columnist, and speaker. Contact him at wolfsie@aol.com.

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20 | January 3, 2012

Current in Fishers

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Views | Community | Cover Story | Diversions | Anti-Aging | Dough | Inside & Out | Laughs | Puzzles | Classifieds Across 1. Q95 personality, ___ Steele 6. Bee-related 11. Flow’s partner 14. Urge forward 15. Ball girl?

16. Shed tears at Randall & Roberts Funeral Home 17. Ban on wicked ringers: Anagram of NOBLESVILLE (3 wds.)

19. Victory Field single or double 20. Firearm at Don’s 21. “___ the ramparts...”

22. Not out (2 wds.)

24. IU Health attendant 27. Run away 28. Common Dads’ Club soccer game score 29. Move forward 33. Indiana National Guard artillery burst 36. Informal language 37. Coxhall Gardens clock no.

38. Greeting at Geist Reservoir 39. China Bistro name, P.F. ___ 40. Do PNC banker’s work 41. “The Matrix” hero 42. Circle City Rodeo ride 43. Door part 44. “The ___ New Clothes” 46. Perdue layer 47. Drawn tight 48. Whodunit at Barnes & Noble 52. Send again 55. St. Vincent Sleep Center acronym 56. Fishers Youth Hockey league: Pee___ 57. Partner of pitch and roll 58. Books filled with defamatory words: Anagram of NOBLESVILLE (2 wds.)

62. Indianapolis Indians pitching stat 63. Sierra ___ 64. Eagle Creek Park nest 65. Like a fox 66. Wear away a White River bank 67. Catches one’s breath Down 1. Vernacular 2. French romance 3. Turn topsy-turvy 4. Gun an IndyCar engine 5. Will Smith title role 6. The Beatles’ “___ Road” 7. Hamilton County Court jury member 8. Ind. neighbor 9. From the very beginning (2 wds.)

10. Retirement fund at Meridian Investment Advisors (2 wds.)

11. Bluespring Caverns sound effect 12. Fedora feature 13. Computer memory unit 18. Lounge around the Monon Center pool 23. Redbox rental: “Death Becomes ___” 25. A deadly sin 26. 2016 Olympics city, briefly 27. Old French bread?

29. Ratio Architects drawings 30. All square at Mackey Arena 31. Perform with the Indianapolis Children’s Choir 32. Fries at KFC, maybe 33. Fit to be tried in the Boone County Court 34. Attention-getter 35. Indiana Beach roller coaster feature 36. Height-challenged

www.youarecurrent.com

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Find the items in the puzzle going up, down, sideways or diagonally and list them. Each letter is used no more than once.

E

R G A P O K H E A R B L A C K L O S E W E G N I K N I D D E Z I N A G H E M I M Y S C G A U O T T A R T H R N O O O H E T E P C E E A S C S G N L D N M S T R I O H O V K N T I S N G

P E R T S Y J A C K I G H T R T I U R O T E S B G E O U R G L R A D I B N I T E G R A R E B I R R E R Y W E A R

2010 GS350 AWD 6K MILES!...................................$44,995 P6539 2010 HS250H HYBRID!......................................$29,995 LDR558

Q Q W G O F R O K S O T U E T R

6 Card Games

4 Fashion Mall Stores

__________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________

__________________ __________________ __________________ __________________

2005 LS430 45K MILES!.................................$29,995 1278B 2007 SC430 LUX PLUS!..................................$37,995 P6584 2010 LS460 AWD 16K MILES!.................................$65,888 P6287 2010 LS460 AWD LOADED!....................................$63,888 12102A 2008 GS350 AWD NAVIGATION!.................$33,995 P6574

3 Pacers Players

5 New Year's Resolutions

__________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________

__________________ __________________ __________________

2007 ES350 NOW............................................$23,988 1248A

2 Area Hospitals

__________________ __________________

2007 ES350 NOW............................................$24,988 C1370A

1 Greece Capital

__________________

39. Indiana Live! Casino table attendant 40. Dryer fluff at Morellis Cleaners 42. Indiana School for the Blind reading system 43. “For ___ a jolly...”

45. Biblical verb ending 46. Christ Community Church song 48. More than a scuffle 49. Decorative pitchers

2005 ES330 30K MILES!.................................$19,995 12124A1

50. Ignited again 51. City Council approvals 52. Shapiro’s Deli breads 53. ___ of Sandwich 54. Swing to and fro 55. Tear apart 59. Conseco Fieldhouse sound of displeasure 60. Crew need at Morse Reservoir 61. Victory sign

2008 ES350s IN STOCK STARTING AT.........$27,777

2010 ES350s 4 CERTIFIED FROM.......................$32,988 2011 GX460s 3 IN STOCK STARTING AT............$55,995 2008 RX400H NOW...............................................$31,988 1296A 2010 RX450H 17K MILES!...................................$48,995 1249A 2010 RX450H NOW...............................................$45,988 LDR545 2008 LS460s 4 AVAILABLE STARTING AT.........$44,888 2008 IS250 AWD W/NAV...........................................$29,995 P6539 2009 IS250 AWD LOADED!.......................................$29,995 1295A 2010 IS250 AWD NOW...............................................$33,988 LDR546 2008 RX350s 5 IN STOCK FROM.........................$29,995 2009 RX350s 7 AVAILABLE STARTING AT.........$33,888 2010 RX350s 12 IN STOCK AND PRICED FROM...................$36,888

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January 3, 2012 | 21

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Views | Community | Cover Story | Diversions | Anti-Aging | Dough | Inside & Out | Laughs | Puzzles | Classifieds

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High end optical in Carmel is looking for an experienced, highly energetic optical technician. Please fax resume, cover letter and references to 317.660.7438

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4 Bedroom & 2 Full/2 Half Bath, Two-Story Home with 4 Bedroom & 3 Full/1 Half Bath, Two-Story Home%/%G/2,F with a <%=,9$"">%5%?%-#00@?%A/0B%=/3)C%DE"F43"$:%A">,%E*3) %/%B*6*2),9% <%=,9$"">%5%M%-#00@'%A/0B%=/3)C%DE"F43"$:%A">,%E*3) <%=,9$"">%5%?%-#00@?%A/0B%=/3)C%DE"F43"$:%A">,%E*3) %/%B*6*2),9% <%=,9$"">%5%M%-#00@'%A/0B%=/3)C%DE"F43"$:%A">,%E*3) %/%G/2,F G/2,>,63%*6%(/$>,0H% >,63%%/69%G"6#2%$"">%*6%% a finished basement in Carmel. 7,854 total sq ft. base- ment and(/$>,0H%%KCI??%3"3/0%2L%B3H% bonus room in Carmel. 5,722 total sq ft.

G/2,>,63%*6%(/$>,0H% >,63%%/69%G"6#2%$"">%*6%% ICJK<%3"3/0%2L%B3H% ICJK<%3"3/0%2L%B3H% (/$>,0H%%KCI??%3"3/0%2L%B3H% Contact John Carnell for a private tour! +(,-#)-*.(/,*+#%,&''*0(%*#*1%23#-&*-(4%5*** +(,-#)-*.(/,*+#%,&''*0(%*#*1%23#-&*-(4%5*** 6789:*;<;=8>;;****(%****6789:*>?@=9?A@* (317) 848-1588 or (317) 590-7960 6789:*;<;=8>;;****(%****6789:*>?@=9?A@*

www.youarecurrent.com

Contact Marlene Slagle for a private tour! ("63/+3%8/$0,6,%40/;0,%B"$%/%N$*O/3,%3"#$P%%% ("63/+3%8/$0,6,%40/;0,%B"$%/%N$*O/3,%3"#$P%%% QM'IR%J<JF'KJJ%%%%"$%%%%QM'IR%S'JFIJMJ% (317) 848-1588 or (317) 918-7838 QM'IR%J<JF'KJJ%%%%"$%%%%QM'IR%S'JFIJMJ%

Current in Fishers

January 3, 2012 | 23

Built at size (100%)

CARDIOVASCULAR | ORTHOPEDICS | SPINE CARE | EMERGENCY SERVICES

Experience top-ranked healthcare, now within arm’s reach.

Indiana University Health Saxony Hospital brings nationally ranked care focused on cardiovascular, orthopedics, spine care and emergency services to your community this December. Conveniently located just off Exit 10 in Fishers.

2011 U.S.News & World Report rankings

Discover the strength at iuhealth.org/saxony

©2011 IU Health 11/11 HY83911_4204

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