June 14, 2011

Tuesday June 14, 2011

Colts’ long-snapper opens new business at Clay Terrace / P13 Clay Middle School student wins composer competition / P12 Study under way to determine dog park feasibility / P12

Mike Dalzell, as Orsted, congratulates Hans Christian Andersen, played by Rick Sharp, right, on his success.

A fairytale life

Clay Middle School’s June McCarty Clair brings Hans Christian Andersen to life in original musical Photo by Jordan Fischer

2 | June 14, 2011

Current in Carmel

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Listen up Founded Oct. 24, 2006, at Carmel, IN Vol. V, No. 31 Copyright 2011. Current Publishing, LLC All Rights Reserved.

1 South Range Line Road, Suite 220 Carmel, IN 46032

317.489.4444 Managing Editor – Jordan Fischer jordan@youarecurrent.com / 489.4444 Associate Editor – Terry Anker terry@currentincarmel.com Art Director – Zachary Ross zross@ss-times.com / 787-3291 Associate Artist – Haley Henderson haley@currentincarmel.com / 787.3291 Cartoonist – Tim Campbell tim@currentincarmel.com

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OUR VIEWS

It is our position that the upcoming presidential races, both the Republican primary and the main event, are going to be exciting and filled with drama, twists, turns and unexpected outcomes.

It seems to be a commonly held belief, among many news outlets and political pundits, that the current slate of candidates vying for the Republican ticket is boring, unoriginal and uninspiring. On the contrary, if one takes the time to really listen to what many prospects are saying, it reveals a sharp contrast to some of the current political practices and philosophies.

Perhaps it really is time for some change. Perhaps not. But the debate about appropriate approaches to the age-old and worsening problems this country faces is an important part of our system. Do we double down on government that has already proved to be inefficient (or an outright failure) or seek unproven, out-of-the-box approaches?

It is important for any candidate wishing to catch the attention of the public’s eye to be able to communicate views thoroughly and convincingly.

As for the general election, many people may be surprised by the course of events. Anybody remember thinking, four years ago, that the race would surely be Rudy Giuliani taking on Hillary Clinton?

Can you dig it?

It is our position that extreme caution is required when digging in our lawns this summer!

Utility (gas, electric, cable and other) lines crisscross our lovely county – including some poorly marked. Not only is excavating through a utility line likely to generate considerable expense and inevitable property damage, it could also be expected to endanger one’s wellbeing.

If one’s plans including digging in the yard this summer, please first call 811. By doing this, the local utility underground locating service will come out to the property and mark off all existing subterranean utility lines. The facility is free, quick and efficient.

We can understand that folks don’t want to wait around to have someone come to their homes and mark these conduits. But isn’t it the best not to take the significant risk and cut a power or gas line? The downside to our own property and that of our friends and neighbors – not to mention exposing one’s self and others at risk of injury or death – more than compensates for the inconvenience.

So please, before we decide to dig in our lawns this summer, call 811 and get the utility lines around the home marked.

The views in these editorials are of reader participants. They do not represent those of Current Publishing ownership and management.

Senior Sales Executive – Dennis O’Malia dennis@currentincarmel.com / 370.0749

Business Office

Bookkeeper – Meagan Thomas meagan@youarecurrent.com / 489.4444 Publisher – Brian Kelly brian@youarecurrent.com / 414.7879 General Manager – Steve Greenberg steve@youarecurrent.com / 847.5022 The views of the columnists in Current In Carmel are their own and do not necessarily reflect the positions of this newspaper.

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V E C TO R B U TT O NS . C O M V E C TO R B U TT O NS . C O M

strange laws

CONSTITUTION CLOSEUP

Our nation has all sorts of arcane, nonsensical laws on the books. Each week, we’ll share one with you.

In Iowa, it is illegal to run a tab in a bar.

Source: Weird Laws (iPhone application)

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Every week, we will print a portion of the U.S. Constitution, followed by a portion of the Indiana Constitution. We encourage you to benchmark government policies against these bedrock documents. Today: the Indiana Constitution.

Section 10. Selection of Justices of the Supreme Court and Judges of the Court of Appeals. To be eligible for nomination as a justice of the Supreme Court or Judge of the Court of Appeals, a person must be domiciled within the geographic district, a citizen of the United States, admitted to the practice of law in the courts of the State for a period of not less than ten (10) years or must have served as a judge of a circuit, superior or crimi-

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nal court of the State of Indiana for a period of not less than five (5) years.(History: As Amended November 3, 1970).

Section 11. Tenure of Justices of Supreme Court and Judges of the Court of Appeals. A justice of the Supreme Court or Judge of the Court of Appeals shall serve until the next general election following the expiration of two years from the date of appointment, and subject to approval or rejection by the electorate, shall continue to serve for terms of ten years, so long as he retains his office. In the case of a justice of the Supreme Court, the electorate of the entire state shall vote on the question of approval or rejection.

June 14, 2011 | 3

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Keep the barn doors closed

FROM THE BACKSHOP Really? Have we not learned anything?

With all the awareness marketing these days about treating pets in a kind and caring fashion, the news of two pit bulls being left in a Carmel storage facility completely floored us. The dogs, Apollo and Athena, sickeningly were abandoned in the unit at Public Storage in Carmel. There was no food and no water, and the unit was a filthy mess, as one would expect. The act of the former owners is patently shameful, not quite Michael Vick-esque, but disgusting nonetheless.

At any rate, a Public Storage employee alerted the Carmel Police Dept., which, in turn, got in touch with the Hamilton County Humane Society, and that is where the formerly emaciated 4-year-old reside awaiting adoption. The investigation ensues. If you’re interested in adopting or fostering Apollo and Athena, please contact the Humane Society at 773.4974 or e-mail animalprograms@ hamiltonhumane.com. *** CarmelFest 2011 has broken new ground in its North Zone (north side of the fire station) with the addition of a beer garden. Sun King Brewing Co. will be operating from a tent July 3 and 4 during festival hours, we’ve learned. Having,

Brian Kelly & Steve Greenberg um, sampled Sun King’s offerings – purely for journalistic purposes, mind you – we can tell you that you’ll be in for something different; this most certainly is not dime-store beer. The beer garden, with close proximity to the North Stage, will be open to those 21 years old and older, providing they present a valid ID. For more information about the brewing company, visit www.sunkingbrewing.com. As always, we urge you to party at CarmelFest with great responsibility! … As you might have heard, the North Zone has been made over for this running of the festival. July 3 features The Beach Party at CarmelFest, and July 4 will bring Americana, Indiana, to the site. The

COMMENTARY

By Terry Anker As a male human and as the parent of two male children, I am directly aware of the training required to teach boys appropriate – well, for lack of a better euphemism – modesty. Yet some never seem to get the message. Flashers, certain tribes, athletic teams, fraternities and more than a few members of Congress all seem incapable of – again to use a more polite Hoosier euphemism – keeping the horse in the barn.

Whether a thoughtful discussion regarding this fixation is appropriate for a family newsweekly is left for another day. For now, Congressman Anthony Weiner’s transmission of photos of his own privates to a number of young women around the country and his subsequent decision to lie about it raises important questions about how our society will accommodate changing attitudes about what we find acceptable.

Many have taken a point of view that, “The problem is not the activity, but the fact that he lied about it.” Is that really all that matters? It

troubles me that folks (men and women, married and single, straight and gay) assume interns exist for sexual amusement, and not the work of the state. A mindset that expects superiority to the law, morality, good-taste and thoughtfulness permeates those with unfettered power (public or private sector). The dishonesty is a symptom of a larger problem and not the locus of the matter. Isn’t the central dilemma one of significant impulse control?

While the offense is ameliorated (or at least not exacerbated) by honesty, doesn’t the transgression still have impact? Isn’t harm still committed? Was George Washington still punished for cutting down the cherry tree in spite of his legendary integrity? Isn’t the lesson not only to be honest – but also NOT to destroy other’s things? Character is more than truth. It is also action.

Isn’t the central dilemma one of significant impulse control?

Terry Anker is an associate editor of Current Publishing, LLC. You may e-mail him at terry@ currentincarmell.com.

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11081 INFINITI Carmel Current_5_31 5/25/11 10:23 AM Page 1 Views | Community | Cover Story | Education | Diversions | Panache | Anti-Aging | Dough | Toys | Lifestyle | Inside & Out | Pets | Laughs | Puzzles | Classifieds

Thanks for all the fish, Dad COMMENTARY

By Jordan Fischer In another instance of journalistic time-warp, I’m writing this column on June 8, to be read no earlier than June 14, and just syllables away from talking about an event on June 19. You might be saying, but Jordan, that’s just how time works normally, nothing special about it.

You might be right.

June 19 is Father’s Day, and in my grand tradition of earning brownie points by doing something I would have anyway, I thought I’d dedicate the last 100 words or so of this column to the things my dad has given me.

A good portion of that list from my high school years is filled simply by food and (lovingly) forced haircuts – but then, if I was anything in my teen years, it was hungry and unkempt, so probably thoughtful gifts on both accounts. In the more abstract section, we’ve got a respectable sense of direction (No offense Mom, I’m just assuming this one’s from Dad), a decent grasp of math, and some sort of latent hereditary mixture of Catholic school guilt and Midwestern work ethic that I’m

only now really beginning to appreciate. If you don’t think my dad getting rapped on the knuckles by nuns as a kid somehow helped keep me in line, look up trans-generational trauma. It’s a real thing, darn it.

In fact, I can only think of a few things my dad hasn’t given me, among them his freakishly good memory for interpersonal relations (we give him grief, but his ability to recall everyone’s family and life histories is really quite impressive), the last two inches I need to hit six feet (my younger brother got one of them), and his inexplicable love of black licorice. Unfortunately, I didn’t also dodge the hooked, bird-like Fischer nose.

I’m just kidding. Our nose is fine. My artsy friends tell me it has character. Happy Father’s Day, Dad.

...if I was anything in my teen years, it was hungry and unkempt...

Jordan Fischer is the managing editor of Current in Fishers.

You may e-mail him at jordan@ youarecurrent.com

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DISPATCHES » Leadership Academy – Applications for the 2012 class of the Hamilton County Leadership Academy are due by June 30. The program is available to county residents or those with business or civic activities within the community. The tuition fee of $1,500 may be paid by an employer/sponsor, individual or not-for-profit organization. If you know someone who is interested in applying, the application can be accessed online at http://www. hcla.net, or by contacting Jill Doyle at 379-1879.

» Fashion show – The “Simply Pink Fashion Show” that was scheduled for Saturday, June 25th, at Z’s Oyster Bar and Steakhouse will be relocated to the Hyatt Regency Indianapolis in downtown Indianapolis. Proceeds from the event will be used for emergency assistance to cover basic human needs, lessen financial burdens, and improve the quality of life of low-income women and men in the community who are in active treatment for breast cancer.

Tickets and sponsorships are still available; please visit www.pink-4-ever.org for more information or to donate.

My recipe for a stress-free summer COMMENTARY

By Danielle Wilson My prayer for summer: “Powers that be, grant give me the serenity to endure 10 weeks of no school, courage to face the rainy days, and wisdom to know when to call the grandparents.” Yes, my friends, summer vacation is upon us, and this year I am more confident than ever that I will not only survive, but actually enjoy the next two months. With the help of all the major religions’ deities (now is not the time to be choosey) and some very careful planning, you too can have a great summer!

Along that note, last night Doo and I held a family meeting in which we hammered out our expectations and ideas for ensuring a homicide-free June and July at the Wilson house.

Our four children were invited to share their thoughts, and as expected, beaucoup de whining ensued. The biggest sticking point was over Xbox. Our boys argue that since its summer, they should be able to do whatever they want, including wasting weeks at a time on COD Black Ops. We feel, however, that spending hours in the dark hole of our basement sniping zombies and Nazis might lead them to become serial killers. A definite difference of opinion, but since we are the parents and they are the short people, we win. Suck it, kids! Decision?

Two hours max a day.

Another bone of contention was television.

Again, our two boys spearheaded the debate.

Essentially, they felt that if they couldn’t watch at least a half-day’s worth of “Family Guy,” they would never know true happiness. We rebutted with something called a “book,” and pointed out that the brilliant writers of their beloved show had probably read a few. Bottom line?

One hour of television a day, plus they have to participate in the library’s reading program with 30 minutes of daily reading. I’ll certainly take the free ice cream and bouncy ball if they don’t want them.

Also in the plan, the reinstatement of the “I’m Bored” jar, a repository for the dollar fines handed out to anyone muttering any derivative of the word “Boring.” Proceeds will go to an end-of-summer Dairy Queen bonanza, and to prevent a Bud Light Jar phenomenon, the perp also will be assigned some degrading task, like sanitizing a toilet or scrubbing a baseboard. Don’t mess with The Mom! Enhancing this year’s summer salt mine experience will be “Amish Day,” proposed unwittingly by our 9-year old son who, at the aforementioned decision to limit electronic interaction, cried, “I’m not going all Amish!” Should have kept your mouth shut Andrew, for now you will

» Art camp – The Hamilton County Artists’ Association’s Children’s Art Camp will be held from June 28 – July 1, from 9:30 a.m. – 11:30 a.m., at the Hamilton County Art Center & Birdie Gallery, 195 S. Fifth St., Noblesville.

The camp is intended for students ages first through sixth grade. The cost per participant is $10 per day, or $35 for all four days. For more information, contact Karen Fehr at 317-896-3754 or k.fehr1@comcast.net.

Danielle Wilson is a Carmel resident and contributing columnist.

You may e-mail her at danielle@ currentincarmel.com.

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indeed go Amish. That’s right, Amish Day will occur one day a week for each of our children.

No video games, computers or television. They will be forced to use their imaginations and find old-fashioned forms of amusement. It may not work, but their discomfort should prove highly entertaining.

“Chef for a Night” is another new addition to our Vacation Survival Guide that I’m quite excited about. Each of my kids will plan, shop and prepare one nice dinner a month, and endure the complaints from their picky siblings.

I’m hoping it will be a great lesson in both economics and empathy. So the chore chart goes up tomorrow, as does the Forced Family Game night schedule (“You will have fun, damn it!”), and we’ll keep our fingers crossed that our careful planning will result in a blissful summer vacation. If not, I’m more than prepared to appeal to the Greek and Roman gods and offer up ritualistic sacrifices. They’ll take children, right?

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Trash troopers to the rescue COMMENTARY

By Jeff Worrell When we first moved CarmelFest from the Carmel High School Football Stadium to the Civic Square in 1994, the crowd was pretty much concentrated around the fountain area. Now, these many years later, not only has the annual crowd grown, but the facilities have expanded exponentially as well. In addition to our normal venues, a full stage and exciting attractions will be located on the North side of the Carmel Fire Station for the 2011 production. Most likely, opportunities for continued expansion of CarmelFest will persist as redevelopment marches toward Main Street.

As the CarmelFest footprint grows, with it comes more people, more vendors and more food. That equation always comes out to equal more garbage. The day and a half event will create over four tons of trash, filling two industrial-size dumpsters. The recycling effort this year is expected to fill a special dumpster of its own.

To any well-trained CarmelFest volunteer, the sight of a candy wrapper lying on the ground is usually enough to cause hyperventilation and sometimes hives. But a half-melted, sticky pile of ice cream has been known to cause convulsions; or at the very least a facial grimace. I feel for the poor vol-

unteer that signed up to work the cake walk and instead, got stuck with waste removal.

Trash Troopers to the rescue! New this year is an elite, immediate response squad of males who are elimination experts. Highly trained, smartly dressed and ready to respond to the first whiff of a pungent odor or unsightly untidiness, Trash Troopers have taken an oath to sacrifice personal hygiene for the good of CarmelFest.

A grateful community honors the Trash Trooper Squad Leaders for their service and dedication to this noble cause. Thank you to Rich Taylor, Jay Kim, Paul McCarthy, Jon Olson, John Stanley, Ranj Puthran and Brad Wuerch.

The Trash Troopers will be on patrol, working together to efficiently remove the waste left behind during what promises to be the best CarmelFest ever. And whenever possible, please remember to keep CarmelFest Beautiful by using the many waste disposal receptacles provided for your convenience.

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Directed By June McCarty Clair Produced by Kim Howard Show Times 8:00 PM June 16, 17, 18, 23, 23, 25, 2011 2:30 PM June 19 & 26, 2011

For Tickets Please Call (317)843-3800 or visit our website at www.carmelrepertorytheatre.com Coming June 2011

To Open The

An Original Musical of the Life of Hans Christian Andersen Written by June McCarty Clair, John Clair & Derek Hakes

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June 14, 2011 | 7

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Gazebo concerts offer opportunities for audience, community

By Lauren Burdick Current in Carmel On June 1, the Summer Family Concert Series at the Gazebo had its first performance of the season with the Flying Toasters. These performances continue through mid-August at 7:30 every Wednesday night, and are sponsored by the Arrows Young Professionals committee.

According to spectator Gerald Hochgesang, the concerts provide an opportunity for inexpensive fun and showcase the level of talent of local bands.

“It’s fun just to go on a Wednesday evening, and it’s not costly at all,” Hochgesang said.

“The bands they have here are incredible. There are a number that are just fantastic.”

Carmel resident Anker Ankersen began coming to the concerts at the Gazebo after moving here with his family in 1997. He said the concerts are a great way to enjoy the summer.

“We come here all the time – every time a concert is on in the summertime. It’s a nice community event,” Ankersen said.

For Wendy McEowen Mullin, CarmelFest Spark Button Sales Volunteer, the Gazebo concerts offer an opportunity for residents to help raise money for the CarmelFest fireworks. This year’s grand finale features more than 1,300 shells, which is more than the fireworks display in Indianapolis.

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“(We come here to) get donations to cover the cost of the fireworks display,” Mullin said.

In addition to selling Spark Buttons at the concerts, Mullin thinks the events are beneficial for the community as a whole during the summer months.

“I think it’s really a good social community event. You can tell by the quantity of people that come, people of all ages,” he said. “It’s a much slower pace where people can come, have a picnic, and just enjoy things at a slower rate.”

The Summer Family Concert Series at the Gazebo runs every Wednesday night at 7:30, although spectators are encouraged to come early to set up their chairs. The concerts are free, and guests should bring their own food and drinks.

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A fairytale life

Clay Middle School’s June McCarty Clair brings Hans Christian Andersen to life in original musical

By Jordan Fischer Current in Carmel He may have died in 1875, but that hasn’t stopped Hans Christian Andersen from haunting the halls of Clay Middle School – three of him, in fact.

The three Andersens, played, in this case, by Blake Miller, Eric Weigand and Carmel City Councilman Rick Sharp, are the leading men of director June McCarty Clair’s original musical, “Andersen: A Fairy Tale Life.”

Clair, who directs the drama program at Clay Middle School, co-wrote the work with her husband John and Derek Hakes, who provided its musical aspect. Support for the project was provided by a $25,000 Lilly Endowment Teacher Creativity Grant in 2008. The musical follows the life of Andersen from a young boy in Denmark through his tremendous success in adulthood as a poet, novelist and author of fairy tales.

“I thought, here’s the story that’s never been told,” Clair said. “He’s the ugly duckling.

That story is totally autobiographical. Here’s this gangly kid, and he’s Hans Christian Andersen.”

Researching Andersen Clair’s original interest in Andersen came while she was studying abroad in Denmark during college. Her next trip to the country, part of the Lilly grant, was similarly studious.

“We read biographies, we visited his hometown, we spoke to experts,” Clair said. One of those experts, Dr. Johan de Mylius, director of the Hans Christian Andersen, will be traveling

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to Carmel for the opening night of the musical, June 16.

Clair and husband John had written musicals together before, including “Cimarron Sue and the Silver Secret” and an adaptation of “Pocahontas” for the Beef & Boards Dinner Theatre in Indianapolis. This musical, however, presented unique challenges.

“The first step of the writing process was to

he was eight until the beginning of his writing success at 23. The second half follows him into his 60s in 1865.

Andersen 200 years on “We still use Andersen’s stories as industry shorthand today,” John said. “To say ‘the emperor’s new clothes’ is a totally accepted saying.”

In fact, many of Andersen’s fairy tales continue to reach modern audiences in the form of reprints, adaptations, and even feature films. The Walt Disney Company has built an empire on animated films of Andersen’s works, including “The Little Mermaid,” which has grossed more than $211 million worldwide since its release in 1989.

“I think he remains interesting because of the truths in his writing,” Clair said. “He wrote about the human condition. Who among us has not felt ugly, has not Rick Sharp as Adult Andersen and Eric Weigand as Teen felt lonely? Who hasn’t Andersen bow to each other during a dress rehearsal. wanted to be loved?”

“A person alive in Andersen’s time actually said, Photos by Jordan Fischer ‘Your novels have made find the point of view,” John said. “Were we you famous, but your fairytales will make you going to retell the fairytales? Were we going to immortal,’” John added. focus on a period of his life? Were we going to “Andersen: A Fairytale Life,” produced by cover his whole body of work?” the Carmel Repertory Theatre, will be shown Ultimately, the Clairs decided that the most at The Studio Theater at The Center for the fascinating story was Andersen’s own.

Performing Arts from June 16 – June 26, “From there,” John said, “it was just write a with a gala celebration on June 17. A full cast page, cross half of it out. Write a page, cross half list and ticket information is available online of it out.” through the Facebook page www.facebook.com/ The first act of the musical takes the audience Andersen.A.Fairy.Tale.Life, or the theatre’s webthrough Andersen’s childhood, from the time site, www.carmelrepertorytheatre.com.

Current in Carmel

Hans Christian Andersen Lived: April 2, 1805 – August 4, 1875 Nationality: Danish Occupation: Novelist, short story writer, fairy tales writer Notable Works: “The Ugly Duckling,” “Thumbelina,” “The Little Mermaid,” “The Steadfast Tin Soldier,” “O.T.” and “Only a Fiddler.”

Hans Christian Andersen was a Danish novelist and poet, and perhaps the most prolific writer of fairy tales in recorded history. Despite his death in 1875, Andersen’s works have lived on in innumerable reprints, translations, and movie adaptations -- including the Walt Disney Feature Animation adaptation of “The Little Mermaid,” which has grossed more than $211 million to date worldwide. Today, Andersen’s birthday is remembered on April 2, celebrated as International Children’s Book Day in honor of the author of more than 150 fairy tales.

June 14, 2011 | 9

Festival Highlights

Look north of Carmel Civic Square on July 4th at 9:45 pm for the spectacular CarmelFest “B105.7 Fireworks Launched

by Firestone” – tune your radio to FM 105.7 for patriotic music precisely choreographed to the display in the sky.

Brought to you by

VOLUNTEER SPOTLIGHT

Volunteers are working on all aspects of CarmelFest to make this year’s celebration better than ever.

You can be part of the fun – and show your community spirit – by joining the volunteer team. Details are at www.CarmelFest.net From left: CarmelFest volunteers Jack Badger, Ila Badger Jeff Worrell and Shari Worrell selling buttons at the Wednesday Gazebo Concert.

www.CarmelFest.net SPARK BUTTONS

You can help support the CarmelFest fireworks display by purchasing colorful Spark Buttons. Two styles are offered: the traditional button for $3 each and the light-up button are $6. Spark Buttons are available from the Carmel Arts & Design District and at the Carmel Farmers Market or from Jeff Worrell, 317-696-0162.

by Jeff Worrell

If you have been to the Carmel Farmers Market on Saturday – you are sure to have noticed the patriotic volunteers selling 2011 Spark Buttons. The annual sales effort to raise money for the CarmelFest “B105.7 Fireworks Launched by Firestone” is well under way with two versions of Carmel’s hip fashion accessory. Transform yourself immediately into a pillar of society by sporting the traditional red-white-blue Spark Button ($3) or the light-up Electric Spark Button ($6).

Each Spark Button has a unique four-digit number printed on its colorful faceplate. With your purchase, you are automatically entered into a drawing to win a Grand Prize of $500 cash. Yes, cash, and although you know your money goes directly toward a personal festival sponsorship celebrating our country’s founding, you could also walk away a richer person.

CarmelFest would not be possible without the support of generous corporate sponsors. However, Spark Buttons give every man, woman and child in Carmel the opportunity to look up into the sky on July 4th at 9:45 pm and proudly exclaim, “I paid for those fireworks and they sure do look good!”

Even if you keep your pride to yourself, by supporting the Spark Button program you send a strong message to your friends, neighbors and children about how important the Fourth of July is to you.

That makes everyone a winner!

For details on Spark Buttons and a schedule of events – visit www.CarmelFest.net. See you at CarmelFest, July 3rd & 4th!

*Rotary Club of Carmel Indiana Annual Raffle License #123676

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IU Health North pitches in

Photo submitted by Libby Springer

Damita Williams, Chief Nursing Officer and Vice President of Patient Care Services at IU Health North Hospital, and Melissa Brown, IU Health North Hospital associate, enjoy a painting project during the IU Health Day of Community Service.

IU Health North Hospital completed projects at Sheridan Elementary School including creating a walking path on the playground and building picnic tables.

Celebrate Summer in Downtown Westfield!

Fridays 4:30-7:30pm—over 50 vendors!

North Union Street next to City Hall

July 1—Patriotic Night August 5—Historic Westfield Night September 2—Pet Night Live entertainment each week!

Sunday, July 3, Asa Bales Park, across from Westfield High School

7:30am—”Bike It” bicycle ride for prostate cancer 3pm—Charity Motorcycle Ride 4pm—Headliners Car Show, Food & Marketplace Beer & Wine, Kids Area, Live Music 8:15pm—Dr. Duke Tumatoe & The Power Trio 9:45pm—Largest fireworks display in the area on July 3!

10am Saturday, Oct. 1, Union & Main Streets

Wacky competition of homemade derby cars!

Brought to you by the Downtown Westfield Association with support from the city of Westfield. For more information, log onto DWNA.org www.youarecurrent.com

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June 14, 2011 | 11

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Study to determine feasibility of Carmel dog park Courtney Stiehl Current in Carmel Although many Carmel parks welcome dogs, Carmel lacks a dog park.

Carmel resident Julie Burns, a dog owner and animal rights activist, began an online petition in 2009 supporting building a dog park in Carmel.

“With so many animal lovers residing in Carmel and all of the changes that have taken place in the past five years to improve our city, it seems only fitting that a dog park is built,” she states on the site.

Support for a dog park continues to grow among residents, says Michael Klitzing, assistant director of Carmel Clay Parks & Recreation. He says the board will conduct a feasibility study in January 2012 to decide whether to move forward with it.

“The goal of the park system is to provide recreational amenities that people want,” he says. “Although it’s not the majority that supports (a dog park), it’s significant.”

He says the study will determine potential locations, costs and operational models. “If that works, we’ll make it the best possible dog park we can provide,” he says.

Finding a location where neighbors won’t be bothered by barking is one of the biggest roadblocks, says Klitzing. The east side of Carmel’s Central Park was to be a dog park before the board determined the location wasn’t ideal.

The board would also need to ensure the operation becomes financially self-sufficient after initial development, he says.

Burns, who also fosters dogs, says getting Carmel citizens involved with supporting the creation of a dog park will help progress. “Addressing concerns and speaking with public officials are very important steps in achieving a dog park,” she says.

For citizens like Burns, a dog park benefits both dogs and dog owners. “It is a great place to meet other animal lovers,” she says.

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By Courtney Stiehl Current in Carmel Violinist James Adams, an eighth-grade orchestra student at Clay Middle School, entered his song into an Indiana Music Educator’s Association contest last February. His piece “Frog Creek” won in the junior division of the string orchestra compositional portion.

Adams, who has three frogs, sought to create a “happy” song, he says. “The original phrase sounded neat so I kept building after that, and it turned into a song,” he says.

He also plays the piano and studies music theory.

Dave Snider- Owner

Although he’s been composing for five years, his skills improved after an IU music professor introduced him to Finale music software, which helps arrange songs. She saw him jotting down Adams notes at his brother’s basketball game and encouraged him to try it.

“It was really cool,” he says. “I could put any notes into it, and it would play it back.”

Jeff Frizzi, Clay’s orchestra director, says he’s proud of Adam’s accomplishment. “James brought his interest to composing music to me and would stick around after school to work on it,” he says. “Technically, he grew much stronger.”

Frizzi had his orchestra students play Adam’s winning piece at their concert in May. Adams says winning the contest has encouraged him to compose more songs. He would like to minor in music at IU. “I’m going to try to continue this throughout my lifetime,” he says.

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Eighth-grade Clay student wins composer competition

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Snapperz offers active family fun

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Snow added, saying that he knew cleanliness

By Jordan Fischer was as important to his patrons as to him.

Current in Carmel “Our most important thing is to make famiEven in an economic recession, Justin Snow’s lies happy,” Snow said. “I want to come in here entrepreneurial success shows there’s still room and be first class.” for good, clean family fun.

The new location will be the third for Snow, Snow is the owner of Snapperz Family Fun who opened his and Sports, a initial Snapperz in family fun and the Fishers area, sports center and a second in opening a new Lafayette. location where Snow is enterBounce Town ing his 12th season previously stood playing profesin Carmel’s Clay sional football.

Terrace. Snow He said a lack is also the long of active options snapper for the for his own chilIndianapolis dren during the Colts, which Snapperz is owned by Justin Snow of winter months provided the the Indianapolis Colts spurred him to business with its take the leap into name. entrepreneurship.

“Our goal is “Football’s not going to last forever,” Snow for families to come in and be active with their said. “I wanted to do something I really enjoy children,” Snow said. “There’s a lot of kids playing video games, and we want them in here run- doing.

Snow said he is shooting for an official openning around.” ing in the first half of June. For more informaThe Carmel Snapperz location will fill its tion about Snapperz Family Fun and Sports, 34,000 sq. ft. with a soft play area, inflatables, visit www.snapperzfun.com. laser tag, bumper cars and rock climbing. All of the attractions are disinfected twice weekly,

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Exploring veganism continues COMMENTARY

By Courtney Stiehl I’ve dove into my June-long journey and have successfully gone vegan. I hope to reap the benefits soon, but for now I’m still adjusting. It turns out my first two days trying veganism weren’t entirely vegan. I failed to look at some ingredients closely and realized too late I had consumed small amounts of dairy. Also, I picked up a pack of Starbursts to treat myself after a day of health food. It turns out they contain gelatin, a foodstuff made from mammal bones. Although I’ve chosen to eat gelatin sweets throughout my years of pescatarianism, I follow veganism strictly. It requires my close attention, so I’ve since become more careful.

Beyond these initial mistakes, maintaining a vegan diet hasn’t proven difficult for me.

Sure, I dreaded it the night before my start date and became cranky the first days when I couldn’t find much to eat at my house. But, a relatively short experiment to look and feel better drives me. Also, I’ve told too many people about this to do anything but move forward. Really, I become most aware of my “unusual” diet around other people. Different social settings over the weekend placed off-limit foods in front of me.

Vegan experts recommend focusing on eating veggies and whole grains. Although I eas-

Family Owned

ily eat the grains and often munch on fruit, I need to eat more leafy greens. But, it’s hard to get hyped over spinach! I use a vegetarian cookbook for recipe ideas and replace dairy items for soy. This is the greatest change veganism has brought about: I’m forced to make my own meals rather than eating processed foods or dining out. Veganism automatically eliminates most junk food.

Still, seven days time is not enough to track many benefits. Oprah’s weeklong vegan challenge on her show resulted in dramatic effects for those who did it. Not for me. It could be because I already abstained from meat going into this. Or, that I don’t have many health problems to solve or weight to loose. The main effect has actually been negative, as this diet appears to cause me headaches. I looked this up online and realized they’re common at the start of the switch.

My mom says my body must be detoxifying.

In the meantime, I’m eating plenty, drinking lots of water and taking iron so combat this.

I continue to eat healthier every day. I’ll get better at this.

Courtney Stiehl is an editorial intern with Current in Carmel. You can contact her at cstiehl@indiana.edu.

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14 | June 14, 2011

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»Graduation prayers – U.S. District Judge Samuel Frederick Biery, Jr., last week overturned a lower court’s ruling which would have barred students and other speakers from presenting a prayer or saying “Amen” at a Texas high school graduation. The original suit was filed by the family of a student participating in the graduation ceremony, with support from the Americans United for the Separation of Church and State. Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott and the Liberty Institute mounted the successful defense.

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could almost be an invitation to would-be assailants. It advertises that 70 percent of sexual assaults go unreported. So while the purpose of the sign is to encourage victims to report sexual crimes, an unintended effect is the advertisement of a crime abusers often get away with because of lack of reporting.

My point here isn’t to be overly critical of the sign itself; I hope its presence results in an increase in cases of sexual abuse being reported.

My point is when you’re putting together any sort of campaign or slogan or advertisement or anything that is going to be put into print, a good question to ask yourself is, “Can this be interpreted any other way?”

Because if it can somehow be misinterpreted, it will be. It’s one thing to laugh at a reporter’s double-entendre-induced gaffe; it’s entirely different to possibly unintentionally promote something awful. And please, if you’ve been the victim of sexual abuse, report the crime to local authorities or an advocacy group such as Indiana Coalition Against Sexual Assault (www.incasa.org) Grammar Therapy has been suspended for the summer. We’ll start again in September!

Current in Carmel

_________

» Language light bulb – A new study published in the May issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences recently concluded that children, and all new-language learners, can build up concrete vocabulary from interacting with a complex learning environment, not just repeated exposure to words in isolation. The study suggests that the “flash” of initial insight may contribute more to language comprehension than simple repetition.

GRAMMAR LESSON

By Brandie Bohney Have you ever seen something unintentionally off-message in print? Something that obviously has more than one meaning, but the unintended meaning is the one that sticks out or comes to mind first? Sometimes, it’s funny: shortly after President Obama was elected, a reporter asked who would be holding the presidential balls. He meant the fancy inaugural parties with dancing and fancy dresses, but that’s not how it came across.

Sometimes, though, it’s not so funny. I was visiting my sister-in-law for lunch in a nearby city, and I saw a sign intended to encourage victims of sexual abuse to report the abuse. A large section of the sign said, “7 out of 10 victims of sexual abuse don’t report it.”

Now, it’s not a double entrendre. The problem isn’t that there’s more than one way to interpret the message. The problem is that there’s more than one type of person reading the message: abusers and non-abusers.

For the latter group, the non-abusers, the message is clarified by the wording on the other side of the billboard, which read something like this: “Report sexual abuse.” Gotcha. The message is important, too: Many victims of sexual abuse are ashamed for a variety of reasons of having been victimized and choose to hide what happened rather than reporting it.

Unfortunately, the way the billboard reads

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Brandie Bohney is a grammar enthusiast and former English teacher. If you have a grammarrelated question, please email her at bbthegrammarguru@gmail.com.

June 14, 2011 | 15

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Clay teacher prepares for Hall of Fame induction

By Courtney Stiehl Current in Carmel The National Teachers Hall of Fame (NTHF) will honor Mark Weaver, a science teacher at Clay Middle School, at an induction ceremony mid-June. The NTHF committee selects five teachers each year to induct into the prestigious group.

“Mark’s teaching practices go above and beyond any teacher I have ever met,” says Tracy Krause, Weaver’s colleague, on the NTHF website. “He brings the science world into his classroom.”

Weaver, who teaches seventh grade science and serves as the head of the science department at Clay, has taught for 29 years. He received both his B.S. in botany and masters in education at Butler University. The son of two educators himself, he says he loves his job.

“What an opportunity to be able to share some excitement of the world of science to students,” he says.

The NTHF honor came at a surprise ceremony in April at Clay. Guests such as Carmel Mayor Jim Brainard and Tony Bennett, superintendent of the Indiana Dept. of Education, attended. Although Weaver says several strange events occurred before the surprise, the announcement still shocked him.

He says the award is a “wonderful celebration of the community.”

Weaver has received other recognition in the past, such as the 2004 Indiana Teacher of the Year, Disney American Teacher and the National Milken Educator.

He says he will continue to educate throughout his life. He desires to teach overseas and with the Department of Defense, like his father.

“Walking into the classroom everyday and hearing what (previous students) have done in the world... That’s exciting,” he says. “I don’t think there’s anything more wonderful than a job like this.”

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DISPATCHES »Golfing for a cause - The “Heartfelt Thanks” tournament is one of Hamilton County’s premier golf outings, and funds donated to the Riverview Hospital Foundation will be directed towards building a new cath lab and the purchase of a multi-slice CT scanner. This year’s 19th annual Heartfelt Thanks Golf Tournament will be held June 22 with a noon shotgun start at the Pebble Brook Golf and Country Club. Cost is $150 per person. For more information, visit www.riverview.org/golf-tournament »June gardening tips – 1. Any bedding plants you find for sale can safely be planted outdoors in beds, boxes, or containers. 2. The pros recommend treating tulips as annuals with the exception of species tulips. Painful as it may be, yank those tulips up, compost them, and plan to plant the bed anew in the fall. 3. Starting this month, keep hanging plants such as fuchsias well watered and out of direct sun, or their leaves will burn.

-www.almanac.com

COMMENTARY

By Cheri Dick Do you sing in the shower?

Have you ever dreamed of taking a bow on stage with thunderous applause surrounding you?

Do you occasionally find yourself performing in front of your family, colleagues or customers in order to win an important point or make a sale?

Ah, I thought so!

Thankfully, there’s a little bit of “ham” in all of us. And now, instead of suppressing all of that hidden talent, the “inner you” can break out and express itself as openly and freely as you have always wanted.

Civic Theatre will hold its first auditions in its new home at the Tarkington Theater at the Center for the Performing Arts in Carmel, on June 20 and 21. Auditions for Civic’s first show of the season, “The Drowsy Chaperone,” will be held from 7-10 p.m. on both days in the Civic Rehearsal Hall, and you’re encouraged to join us.

We’re thrilled that Ron Morgan, a veteran of several Broadway shows, owner of Performers Edge Dance Theatre and a mainstay in the Central Indiana arts community, will be directing “The Drowsy Chaperone.”

Here’s a chance for you to follow your heart,

Civic Theatre will hold its first auditions in its new home at the Tarkington Theater at the Center for the Performing Arts in Carmel, on June 20 and 21 but still benefit from the direction and expertise of an experienced theatre professional.

Remember, Civic Theatre is exactly what the name implies. It’s your theatre. Civic has been serving the citizens of this community for 97 years, providing thousands of Hoosiers with the enlightening process of self expression and self discovery.

Even if you don’t yearn to share the spotlight on stage, you can also take a class at Civic, join the backstage crew, work in the costume shop or volunteer in a variety of capacities. In short, there’s something for everyone at Civic Theatre.

File photo

For more information about auditioning for “The Drowsy Chaperone,” please e-mail auditions@CivicTheatre.org. This is your opportunity to “play a part” in one of America’s oldest and most respected community theatres.

More importantly, it’s an opportunity to unharness the real you!

Cheri Dick is the executive director of the Booth Tarkington Civic Theatre. You can contact her via e-mail at cheri@civictheatre.org.

Great gift for dads who grill The Stok Charcoal Tower ($150, www. stokgrills.com) allows you to do more with charcoal using the STOK Grill Insert System.

Swap out the grill grate for the included pizza stone or any other STOK Grill Insert to bring that great charcoal flavor to any and every meal. The Tower comes with an integrated charcoal chimney to get grilling faster while the built-in ash canister traps charcoal dust for quick clean up.

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HCLA celebrates 20 years The Hamilton County Leadership Academy celebrated its 20th anniversary recently with a reception at The Palladium. The event brought HCLA alumni together and also was open to the public.

Top, left to right: HCLA Executive Director Jill Doyle, The Center for the Performing Arts President and CEO Steven Libman and HCLA alumna Julia Kozicki. Below, left to right: Mark Boice, Matt House, Casey Arnold and Cathy Lowe.

Photos by Kelsey Krzyston

You’ll Find It All Here.

Call The Stratford at 317-733-9560 today and learn how our retirement lifestyle can impact your wellness, peace of mind and overall well-being.

2460 Glebe Street | Carmel, IN 46032 www.Stratford-Living.com Independent Living • Assisted Living Alzheimer’s Care • Skilled Nursing 18 | June 14, 2011

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Views | Community | Cover Story | Education | Diversions | Panache | Anti-Aging | Dough | Toys | Lifestyle | Inside & Out | Pets | Laughs | Puzzles | Classifieds Where I Dine

Jay Chandler

Operating general manager, MCL Where I Dine: “Las Torres.

It’s a new Mexican restaurant at 146th Street and Gray Road.”

What I Order: “I like hot, and everything is nice and spicy – real authentic Mexican food.”

Why I Like It: “They have great service, and a good atmosphere. Plus, it’s a beautiful building.”

RESTaurant

Not your pa

rent’s VBS!

When Eddie Met Salad

The scoop: When Eddie Met Salad is a locally owned restaurant chain launched in 2005. There are now five locations in the Indianapolis area.

The restaurant specializes in salads and other healthy menu items using fresh, highquality ingredients.

Type of food: Specialty salads, wraps and other healthy items Price: Small salads are $6.29. Regular salads are $1 more.

Adventure Week 2011

Specialty menu items: California Roll Salad, Chicken Cantonese Salad, various vegetarian salads and a buildyour-own-salad option.

Dress: Casual Hours: Monday - Friday 11 a.m. to 8:30 p.m.; Saturday 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.; closed Sundays Address: 12525 Old Meridian Street Carmel 848-1375 wheneddiemetsalad.com

July 11-14

July 11 - 14 from 6:30 - 9 p.m. at Northview Church 12900 Hazel Dell Parkway | Carmel, IN 46033 | 317.846.2884

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You may think a courtroom is your only option to resolve your family law case, but in this conference room, you have more control over the decisions affecting your family, your children and your property.

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June 14, 2011 | 19

sauce and continue cooking for about 2 minutes more per side. Remove from grill and brush with any remaining sauce.

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Root Beer Pork Chops Ingredients • 4 (1-inch thick) boneless pork chops • 3 (12 fluid ounce) cans or bottles root beer • salt and pepper to taste • 1 cup beef stock • 11/2 tablespoons brown sugar • 11/2 teaspoons habanero or chipotle hot sauce • 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce • 1 pinch salt, to taste Directions 1. Place the pork chops in a large zip-lock bag or baking dish; combine 2 cans of the root beer, 1 tablespoon of Worcestershire, and ½ teaspoon of hot sauce and pour mixture over the chops. Place in refrigerator to marinate all day or at least 8 hours.

Remove the pork chops from the marinade; season with salt and pepper.

2. Combine the remaining can of root beer, the beef stock, brown sugar, remaining hot sauce, and remaining Worcestershire sauce in a saucepan over medium heat; simmer the mixture until it reduces to about 3/4

cup. The reduction will be salty sweet.

3. Preheat an outdoor grill for medium-high heat, and lightly oil the grate.

4. Grill the pork chops on the preheated grill until an instant-read thermometer inserted into the center reads 140 degrees F. Brush the chops generously with the reduction sauce and continue cooking for about 2 minutes more per side. Remove from grill and brush with any remaining sauce.

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20 | June 14, 2011

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June 15 Renaissance Fine Art & Design Gallery: The Next Step: Selected works from John Paul Caponigro’s Next Step Alumni 2011.

Renaissance Fine Art & Design Gallery, 1 South Range Line Road, Carmel Now through June 24 www.renaissancefineartanddesign.com Twenty-five members are currently participating in the exhibit. The resulting work is as diverse as the individuals with subjects and artistic endeavors including: landscapes, editorial, abstracts, composites, portraits, seascapes, cityscapes, nude and figure, fine art, street photography, architecture, nature, animals and wildlife.

June 17 Beef & Boards: Cinderella Beef & Boards Dinner Theatre Now through July 1 Tickets available by phone at 317-872-9664 or online at www.beefandboards.com.

Rogers & Hammerstein’s enchanting musical, Cinderella, is the classic story of the young Cinderella who is left in the care of her step-mother and three bossy step-sisters after the death of her father. It’s not until she meets Prince Charming that things start looking up. In a twist on the original musical, the Beef & Boards production features the ugly step-sisters as played by male actors.

June 17 Belfry Theatre: Humble Boy The Belfry Theatre, 10690 Greenfield Avenue, Noblesville Now through June 19, Fridays through Sundays Tickets are $15, www.thebelfrytheatre.com Felix Humble returns home after the sudden death of his father. Confrontations with his mother and her soon-to-be new husband and an ex-girlfriend bring out emotions of anger, hate, loneliness and self-doubt. Revelations with laughter and tears help bring about forgiveness and understanding.

LIVE MUSIC Mickey’s Irish Pub, 13644 N. Meridian Street.

For more information call 573-9746.

Friday – Pack of Chihuahuas Saturday – TBA Mo’s Irish Pub, 13193 Levinson Lane in the Hamilton Town Center, Noblesville. For more

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June 16 Carmel Repertory Theatre: Andersen, a Fairy Tale Life The Studio Theater at The Center for the Performing Arts, 1 Center Green, Carmel June 16 through 26; show times are Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays at 8 p.m. and Sundays at 2:30. www.carmelrepertorytheatre.com “Andersen” is a musical of the true story of Hans Christian Andersen’s rise from abject poverty in an obscure village on the tiny island of Funen in Denmark, to become the most famous person in the world during his lifetime.

June 17 ISO and Indianapolis Symphonic Choir: Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony June 17 and 18 at Hilbert Circle Theatre, Indianapolis; June 19 at the Palladium, Carmel Tickets for performances at the Hilbert Circle Theatre range from $15 to $55 each (www.indianapolissymphony.org). Tickets for the Palladium performance range from $25 to $80, with $20 tickets for students (www.thecenterfortheperformingarts.org).

The all-Beethoven program, which will conclude the Orchestra’s 2010-2011 indoor season, will begin with the German master’s Symphony No. 8 in F Major. The work is a lively and buoyant symphony that features a bold introduction followed by an elegant and colorful Minuet.

June 17 Cool Creek Concert Series: The Bishops St.Vincent Health presents the Cool Creek Concert series every Friday night at Cool Creek Park, 2000 East 151st Street, Westfield. Gates open at 6 p.m. Admission is $5 for adults; children age 12 and under are free. June 24’s concert: The Snakehandlers. For more information, visit www. myhamiltoncountyparks.com.

information, call 770-9020.

Friday – Loo Abby Saturday – Through Being Cool Moon Dog Tavern, 825 E 96th St., Indianapolis, 46240. Call 575-6364 for more information.

Friday – Zanna Doo

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June 14, 2011 | 21

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DISPATCHES Free seminars – Case Design/Remodeling President Larry Greene will offer three free kitchen and bath remodeling seminars. The first weekday seminar will be held at Michael’s Southshore at Geist, 11705 Fox Road this Thursday from 7 to 8:30 p.m. The second will be this Saturday from 9 to 10:30 a.m. at the Indianapolis Yacht Club at Geist, 12900 Fall Creek Road. The third will be June 23, 7 to 8:30 p.m. at the Indiana Design Center, 200 South Range Line Road, Carmel. Please register at caseadmin@irndy.rr.com or by calling 846-2600.

Ralph Lauren now available - The Ralph Lauren Home collection is now available through The Trade Connection, a to-the-trade showroom located on the second level of the Indiana Design Center in Carmel. The showroom features a mix of Ralph Lauren furniture, case goods, giftware and more. Visit RalphLaurenHome.com to view the latest collections online.

Using vinyl flooring – Vinyl is best for practicality, low price and easy installation. Most vinyls resist wear, moisture dents, stains and sun. Some look more like stone than older versions. But, even the best of those products still look like vinyl up close. Average price: $3 to $7 per square foot.

-Consumer Reports

22 | June 14, 2011

DESIGN

By Vicky Earley It is that time of the year. The weeks leading up to the Memorial Day parties are probably the busiest of the design year.

These time frames are always good reminders of what to expect.

Once a decision has been made to redo a room, install a window treatment, add a piece of furniture or just change some accessories, that impatient 6-year old in all of us comes to the surface! After all … it is pretty exciting to contemplate a change!

If you know, going in, how long it realistically will take, the waiting becomes a bit more palatable for that little person living in all of us who wants what they want … now!

An initial appointment with a designer: Several days to several months depending on how the designer works and the client load at the given time. We try to manage this by working as a team so the process is started in a timely fashion.

A presentation based on your likes and needs: Once again, this depends on how your decorator or designer works, but it is realistic to expect anywhere from a few days to several weeks. We will often bring a client into the studio for an in-depth look at likes and dislikes to expedite the process.

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Custom upholstery pieces: Six to 12 weeks from the time the order is placed is reasonable. If it goes beyond 12 weeks, something is probably amiss, such as a fabric backorder. Don’t hesitate to ask questions!

Using fabric other than the furniture manufacturers is often the key to a gorgeous piece of furniture, but it can delay the process. It is a two-step process, as fabric must be ordered, marked and shipped to the manufacturer. Only then does the actual fabrication begin.

If you place a custom order prior to the major furniture show at High Point, your order should have a greater chance of faster completion. If you order shortly after High Point (April and October), your order can get bogged down a bit by the sudden influx of orders from the show.

Shipping from manufacturer: Fuel costs have made this an unknown. No trucking firm wants to head out with a half load.

Even when an item is in stock at the manufacturing source, there can be a delay. The time involved with shipping is up to the truck drivers, the weather, and pure luck.

This is like a school bus ride: Someone who gets on first might have to get off last.

We have seen furnishings arrive in under a week, and we have had furniture ride the

highway until it complained of motion sickness!

Custom window treatments: This can vary from a few weeks to several months.

It all depends on who is supplying the labor. Projects being fabricated by a larger group workroom must get in line once all materials arrive. If it is the busy season, the fabrics and trims must wait patiently until it is their time. This is totally unpredictable.

Design firms and stores that have in-house workrooms have more control over timing, although the arrival of the fabrics can still bog the process down. We have turned “need it now” emergency projects in a day when the materials were in stock, because we have our own fabricators. This, however, is an anomaly!

Kitchen remodel: My rule of thumb is a) take the time quoted by the individual doing the work and b) take that number and multiply times two. This should give you a reasonable idea. The larger the project, the more opportunities there are for delays, out of stocks, unexpected issues, and changes.

Vicky Earley is the principal designer for Artichoke Designs in downtown Carmel. If you have an interior design question, please contact artichokedesigns@aol.

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DISPATCHES »Ditch cereal if dieting? - Your body prefers the carbohydrates in vegetables rather than grains because it slows the conversion to simple sugars like glucose, and decreases your insulin level. Grain carbohydrates, like those in pretzels, will increase your insulin levels and interfere with your ability to burn fat – which is the last thing you want if you’re trying to lose weight. This is precisely why cereals, whether high-fiber, whole-grain or not, are not a food you want to eat if you’re concerned about your weight.

If they contain sugar, that will tend to increase your insulin levels even more … but even “healthy” sugarless cereals are an oxymoron, since grains rapidly break down to sugar in your body, stimulating insulin production and encouraging weight gain.

-www.mercola.com »Switch to generics – Switching from brand-name depression med Cymbalta to generic Fluoxetine would mean a savings of about $177 per month. Cymbal-

ta’s 60-mg pills are taken once daily and a month’s supply costs $181 per month.

The generic’s 20-mg pills are taken once daily and the cost is $4 per month.

-www.comsumerreports.org »More-nutritious fruit - A USDA study published in Journal of the American College of Nutrition found that nutrient levels in produce have declined significantly in just the last 60 years. There have been drops in protein, calcium, vitamin A, riboflavin and thiamine. So opt for smaller fruits (such as apricots, cherries and berries), which have a greater ratio of skin to flesh, relative to their size, than larger ones, such as peaches. This is important because the largest concentration of fiber and antioxidants is found in the skin and the layers just beneath. Also, if possible, switch from standard, larger supermarket produce to organic, wild-grown or heirloom varieties.

-Bottom Line Health

Riverview proudly announces

fishers pediatrics

kids day Celebrating Our newest PediatriCs Care FaCility

Scott Boschee, MD

RVH-095-Current-06.14-FNL.indd 1

www.youarecurrent.com

Kathleen Miller, MD

Riverview Medical Group Pediatrics is now pleased to offer three convenient locations. Help us celebrate the opening of our newest location by visiting Fishers Pediatrics Kids Day on Saturday, June 25, from 9am to noon. Featuring Radio Disney, Meet the Docs, health information, games, and more. For additional information, please call (317) 770-5835.

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June 14, 2011 | 23 RES:

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DISPATCHES » Stocks that have hit bottom? – Dean Foods (DF) is the nation’s largest seller of fresh milk.

Despite yearly sales of more than $12 billion, the company is valued at barely $2 billion.

That’s because margins on milk are meager. But BMO Capital Markets analyst Amit Sharma initiated coverage of the stock last month with an “outperform” rating, and in a note to clients pointed out some promising signs. Meanwhile, Best Buy (BBY) is growing, but barely. Management recently outlined a plan to reduce bigbox store space by 10 percent, reduce in-store items while increasing online ones and focus on expanding what’s working: video games, cell phones and electronics in China.

-www.smartmoney.com Home prices decreased - The Indiana Association of Realtors recently released its latest monthly “Indiana Real Estate Markets Report.”

Statewide, when comparing April 2011 to April 2010: The median sale price of homes decreased 0.9 percent to $113,000 and the number of closed sales decreased 21.0 percent to 4,929.

Monetize social media efforts - Companies don’t always need to use social media as a sales tool or to acquire news customers, says Turner; they can use it as a customer retention tool. If someone likes or follows your business, it’s because they’re interested in hearing from you on some regular basis. It’s important that you have a routine schedule for your blogs, tweets, and postings. Keeping your fans and followers up to date on what’s new and happening with your business or industry will keep them engaged with you and keep your brand top-of-mind.

-www.inc.com Jobs decline, alcohol sales boom - Alcoholic beverage sales grew by nearly 10 percent during a 12-month period that ended May 31, according to financial information company Sageworks. The average unemployment rate during that time exceeded 9.3 percent. Sales have been increasing since the first full year of the recession in 2008 while unemployment also rose.

-www.money.com

WHAT IS DEBT SETTLEMENT? Debt Settlement is when you pay off debt at a reduced amount, often at 50% or less.

WHO IS THE BEST CANDIDATE FOR DEBT SETTLEMENT? A small business or individual with $30,000 or more of unsecured debt, who has a 401K plan, an inheritance, or a lump sum distribution; as approximately half of debt amount must be set aside in escrow to settle debt when agreement is reached with the creditor.

WHY DO I NEED AN ATTORNEY? WHY CAN’T I DO IT MYSELF? Most of the time creditors will not negotiate with individuals, or debt settlement companies. They will ask an attorney for a “power of attorney”. An attorney locks in the terms, so that the creditor cannot change them and try to collect more interest or fees later. An attorney can also protect you in the event of a lawsuit occurring while negotiations are ongoing.

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO SETTLE ALL THE DEBT? Most of the time a creditor will not begin negotiating until debt is 6 months past due. Therefore debt settlement is usually completed as soon as terms are reasonable.

AM I TAXED ON THE MONEY SAVED? There could be tax due on money saved. Your accountant can see if you are exempt from taxes under IRS Insolvency Rules, Publication 4681.

HOW CAN I LEARN MORE? To learn more, call Mike at 317-266-8888, email: mike@mikenorrislaw.com or visit: mikenorrislaw.com.

MIKE NORRIS Mike is an Indiana Attorney who has been practicing law for 33 years. He is a former full-time professor of real estate law and business law at the University of Colorado.

WHAT ARE THE RISKS? There is a risk of a lawsuit occurring before the debt is settled, which is usually avoided by using a LOCAL attorney. Also one’s credit score could decline while negotiations are taking place.

Law Offices of Mike Norris, 3802 W. 96th St., Indianapolis, IN 46268

Sponsored in part by:

24 | June 14, 2011

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Rats, relatives and revelations COMMENTARY

By David Cain When I was 11 years old, my aunt gave me a rat for my birthday. Not just any rat, but an angry white rat with a terrible disposition and a stinky, rotten attitude. He hated me. He hated everyone.

Even so, as an animal-loving boy from the country, I was, of course, in love with the idea of getting a pet for my birthday. My mother, I recall vividly, was as mad as the rat at what her sister had given her little boy. The gift shouldn’t have been much of a surprise; my aunt had given my sister a mouse just two months before.

I’m an animal lover. I dug on that rat. To an 11-year-old, a rat is a wicked cool gift. Thanks Aunt Sandy! Appreciate the love. I opened the makeshift housing the rat came with – it was 1978 – and that white devil came at me like a spider monkey. My dad, the calm headed thinker of the group, was ready with a washtub. He pushed me out of the way and threw a washtub on the reckless rat. We sat on the washtub together, father and son, hearing only the sounds of scratching claws under us. It was a Clark Griswold moment. I said, “Aunt Sandy doesn’t like me, does she?” He responded, “Can’t say for sure, but it appears she’s mad at someone.”

B OTOX

Although it should have ended with a Griswold-like, “Good talk son!” it ended with a grown man and his son putting a concrete block on the washtub and something like, “Let’s get some sleep and see if this thing is nicer in the morning.”

It’s 32 years later and I still remember that rat. I can see his beady little eyes menacingly staring at me. I remember the moments with my father. I remember the sounds of the scratching. I remember the feeling of terror. I remember everything.

Emotion matters. Emotions make an impression.

It doesn’t matter what the emotion. If there is emotion, there is memory. t stands out. It’s downloaded in your brain and replays. I hear metal scratching and I see the rat, my aunt, my dad and me. I see white fur and I see that rat. I see an old-fashioned washtub and I smell a rat. If you want to be remembered, if you want to stand out, get emotional! Oh rats!

David Cain works at MediaSauce, a digital media and online marketing company in Carmel. David welcomes your questions or comments at David.Cain@MediaSauce. com.

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Just like your favorite coffee shop or grocery store, Community Physicians of Indiana practices, Community Hamilton Healthcare campus and Community Health Pavilions are right in your neighborhood. In fact, they’re practically around every corner, giving you quick access to: Fishers

Noblesville

• Family practice, internal medicine, OB/GYN, pediatric physicians and physician specialists • MedCheck walk-in care • Imaging — Open MRI, general imaging available for early, evening and same-day appointments

• Lab — Open early Monday thru Saturday starting at 7 a.m.

• Sports medicine and rehabilitation • Indiana Surgery Center • Healthy Aging Transition Services (HATS) and more

Call 800-777-7775 to schedule a free Get Acquainted Visit with a CPI pediatrician, OB/GYN, family practice or internal medicine physician. Or visit eCommunity.com/pavilion.

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, search Community Hamilton Healthcare Campus.

June 14, 2011 | 25

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WHAT’S IT WORTH

Coriell Eye Care MY OPINION

$

300K

Touting thorough service and a wide selection of glasses frames, Coriell Eye Care, now open at 14555 Hazel Dell Pkwy, Carmel, represents Dr. Holly Coriell’s commitment to the Hoosier state to grow her new private optometry practice.

Opened June 14, Coriell Eye Care offers all patients a comprehensive eye exam which includes a visual field screening test, retinal photography and a glaucoma check as part of standard examinations.

Type: Two-story, traditional American Age: Built in 2004 Location: Near Springmill Road and 156th Street Neighborhood: Centennial Square Footage: 3,834 Rooms: Impeccably maintained four-bedroom, 3.5-bathroom home! Two-story foyer leads to dining room with hardwoods. Nine-foot ceilings and built-ins throughout. Roomy kitchen with center island, pantry and breakfast room. Mainlevel mud room with lockers and laundry room.

Family room with built-ins. master with walk-in closet, garden tub, separate shower and double

In addition to comprehensive eye care, the office will offer more than 500 varieties of frames across all styles and price ranges.

Brands include Vera Bradley, Tommy Bahama, Gucci, BCBG, bebe, IZOD, Nike, and Armoni Exchange.

“A lot of offices hae just one style or price range, but we have so many styles at a price range to fit everyone,” said Coriell.

To schedule an appointment, call 317-706-2020.

sinks. Finished daylight basement with rec room and bonus room. Screened porch leads to concrete patio and large backyard. Great amenities: community pool, tennis court and playground!

Strengths: Impeccably maintained home. Spacious backyard. Generous room sizes. Great community amenities.

Challenges: Backs up to 156th Street.

Coriell Eye Care 14555 Hazel Dell Pwky Suite 120 Carmel, IN 46032

Keith Albrecht is a Realtor with RE/MAX serving Hamilton County and Indianapolis.

Contact the Albrecht Team by phone at 580-9955 or via e-mail at team@keithshomes.com.

7601 E SR 334 $2,400,000 BLC# 21004780 40 acres! Live in this home while you build your dream home or update this home!

Wildlife & pond is great for swimming

13010 TREATY LINE ST. $619,000 BLC#21101172 Take the prize with this exhilarating 4BR/3+BA Traditional-style.

2 fireplaces, 3-car garage. Huge foyer, garden tub.

12451 SPRINGBROOKE $285,550 BLC# 21105997 Impeccibly maintained 5BR/2.5Ba Hm w/ lots of upgds, grnt isle, full fnsh bsmt, Woodbrook Elem. Waterstone amenities. Must See!

5203 AVIAN WAY $399,900 BLC# 21104063 Discover the delights of this custom blt Carmel Gem! Features: 4/5BR,3+BA & 3 frplcs! Enjoy the lakefront, 3C Gar. Soaring GR & Fin. Bsmt!

13283 COLLIERS CT $227,500 BLC# 21120835 Enhance your life with this cul-desac 3BR/2+BA residence on a corner lot. Gas fireplace, Huge foyer, high ceilings.

13551 SILVER SPUR $230,900 BLC# 21116152 Match your dreams to this cul-de-sac, fenced 4BR/2+BA Traditional-style.

3-car garage.

Bonus room, walk-in closets.

2421 LAUREL LAKES $525,000 BLC# 21119482 Totally updated waterfront home in SW Carmel.

4BR/3.5BA hardwoods, ss appls, granite in baths & kit.

Full bsmt, oversize 3 car garage.

Terrific Home!

ANGELA RAAB, 442-4295

ANGELA RAAB, 442-4295

SPENCER KLINE, 753-7282

BRAD DONALDSON, 432-1775

BRAD DONALDSON, 432-1775

HELEN METKEN, 281-7020

GARY SMITH TEAM , 514-3513

110 JAMES CT $300,000 BLC# 21114899 Over 4100SF in this 5BR 3.5BA ranch w/walkout bsmt.

Beautiful private, wooded back yard with stream. Huge deck.

8054 TALLIHO DR $123,900 MLS# 21104243 Spacious, open floor plan in this 2BR/2.5Ba condo w/loft. Second from shopping, restaurants, & Geist. Wow!

SUSAN VANDENHEUVAL, 508-1276 SUSAN VANDENHEUVEL, 508-1276

26 | June 14, 2011

625 MARANA DRIVE $203,500 BLC# 21105409 Set your sights on luxury in this exceptional 3BR/2+BA condo.

Security system.

Walk-in closets, Dual Vanities.

Patio.

$349,900 BLC#21051410 Spectacluar 4BR/3BA cottage style hm is on a c-d-s & huge verandas on front & back of hm! Kit w/cntr isle, FR w/grand FP.

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13144 TUDOR DR $319,900 BLC#21113860 Gorgeous hm in Brookshire Lakes!

3Br/3BA ranch w/ lake setting on almost 1/2ac. Fin bsmt, open flr pln, 2 Fps, hdwd flrs.

483 FIREFLY LANE $260,000 BLC#21047158 Treat yourself to the charms of this newly-built 3BR/2BA condo.

Cozy fireplace. Two-story foyer, bonus room. Patio.

HELEN METKEN, 281-7020

NINA KLEMM, 582-9130

NINA KLEMM, 582-9130

NINA KLEMM, 582-9130

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Do your part to end the cheating ‘epidemic’ Relationships

By: Rachael Noble

In this series, I’ve discussed the various personality types of female cheaters. There’s the woman I call “disregarded” (possibly ignored and not experiencing any passion in her relationship). Then there’s the “scorned woman” (the gal who seems ruthless in her cheating). And finally, I can’t help but mention “the mistress” (the woman who goes after the married man). There is no excuse for cheating, but looking into these women’s backgrounds and personality types may help us understand how to help these ladies in their recovery.

Last article, I talked about the “scorned woman” and now let’s discuss someone who perhaps is a cheater too, but is certainly someone who aids in the cheating epidemic. She is “the mistress.” You may hear her excuse her behavior by saying, “His wife doesn’t appreciate him and they’re not intimate” or, “He says he doesn’t love his wife and he’s just staying with her for the kids” or, “We didn’t intend for this to happen and we just fell into it.”

Her reasons may span from extreme loneliness to not being able to find a boyfriend (maybe the married man is the only person who “loves” her) to the high she feels when he cheats

on his wife with her to the way he makes her feel beautiful to the financial help he sends her way to her overly nurturing personality that she unhealthily gears toward his victim mentality. (“My wife doesn’t pay attention to me,” “You’re the only one who notices me,” “I’ve had to live so many years in a loveless marriage,” etc.).

Whatever the reason, this gal doesn’t seem to care she is stabbing another woman in the back. Even if she is never caught, the ramifications of her actions can someday “haunt” her with feelings of guilt, insecurity and self-loathing.

If you are a woman who preys on married men, there are certain consequences to your actions. It’s time to figure out why you seek the “unattainable” man (perhaps you didn’t get enough father attention when you were younger or your insecurity causes you to think you don’t deserve a good man or whatever the reason) and to get some help. No more dipping your toe in the water, flirtatiously playing with fire, a secret rendezvous, or destroying families. I believe change is possible, but it has to start right now.

Whatever the reason, this gal doesn’t seem to care she is stabbing another women in the back.

Rachael Noble is a single Carmel resident and contributing columnist. She can be reached at nobleadvice@yahoo.com.

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The thing with suffering FAITH

By Bob Walters It was a brief conversation with my dear friend Mike about our mutually dear friend Bill.

Mike and I were alone outside Bill’s house after a visit, each of us fighting back tears.

Bill has brain cancer, the really, really hard kind. He and his wife, both deep and mature believers in Christ, are bravely battling the disease. Their grace is wonderful to behold; the effects of the disease are horrifying.

Mike, not a church-goer but deeply imbued with sincere human compassion, said, “I just don’t want to see anyone suffer.”

“Suffering is part of the deal,” I told Mike, quietly, referring to a life in Christ. I added, approximately, “It’s as clear as anything the Bible says. Our faith in Christ and belief in God are tested and purified in our suffering. It doesn’t glorify God to ‘believe’ when times are good. As crazy as it sounds, suffering – and keeping our faith as we suffer – is the greatest earthly way to glorify God.” Mike and I blinked back tears one more time, and left. I pray my words sank in.

Bill and his wife are glorifying God in their suffering by keeping their faith. We who despair with them must also glorify God by trusting His ultimate mercy.

“Suffering Glorifies God!” is a slogan seldom seen on church signboards. No, market-

28 | June 14, 2011

ing the Christian faith today focuses largely on “me.” God loves and forgives me. Or we scrutinize my sin and guilt, or God solving my problems, or having Jesus see things my way.

“Please Lord,” we pray, “give me what I want.”

We want God to ease our suffering, not be glorified by it.

Jesus prayed, “Father … not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42). Jesus told His disciples repeatedly that to follow Him they must value God above everything else, including their families, their circumstances, their very lives. Jesus told them they would suffer and be persecuted for their faith, yet they would glorify God. Suffering is among the Bible’s hardest teachings, one of its most obvious truths, and one of the last things the modern church “sells.” Suffering matters because it is the central lesson of Jesus on the cross, “that your son may glorify you” (John 17:1).

God’s purpose isn’t to make us suffer, but that we persevere in our faith when we suffer.

Pray with Jesus that God’s will, not ours, be done.

Soft-filtered water ... not a hard decision

Bob Walters (www.believerbob. blogspot.com, email rlwcom@aol. com) will look at non-believers through Lent, urging believers not to give up on them.

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It’s all abut the details

Remodeling

By Larry Greene ORIGINAL UNFINISHED BASEMENT: This home, located in the Avian Glen subdivision on the east side of Carmel, was built in 1994. The current homeowners moved into the home in 1998 and had wanted to finish the basement for quite some time. The two major reasons for remodeling the basement were to be able to more easily entertain friends and to enhance the value of their home for resale purposes.

FAVORITE FEATURES: One of their favorite things about the finished space is how the stairwell turned out. Previously, the stairwell abruptly terminated into a wall and was enclosed by a half wall. The final design added a turned landing and replaced the partial half wall with wrought-iron balusters, wood-stained handrail and exposed hardwood treads. According to the homeowner, “It’s now a much more natural flow. The lower level is so inviting and comfortable. It’s become an extension of our home.”

MAXIMIZING SPACE: The final layout was designed to maximize the usable space. The unusually tall 10’ ceilings give the basement a spacious feeling. The L-shaped layout was maximized to include a banquette/table grouping,

sectional with ottoman, loveseat and wet bar.

The homeowner commented, “Everyone can see the TV and one another. The multi-function space is really conducive to conversation and relaxation. We love the additional square footage we’ve gained. The lower level is our preferred destination for family relaxation.”

DETAILS MATTER: The homeowner was heavily involved in the design process and had an appreciation for details. The new wet bar area included upgraded finishes including semi-custom maple cabinets in a soft white paint with café glazing and 3cm Cambria quartz countertops in a Windemere color. The new wet bar flooring included amalfi noce 33 x 33cm porcelain tile.

DON’T FORGET STORAGE: According to the homeowner, “We also appreciate the storage area adjacent to the finished space. Door access off the stair landing provides ample storage for seasonal decorations and other family keepsakes.

Extensive shelving was installed to take advantage of the home’s 10-foot-high ceilings, an unusual basement feature.”

Outstanding Summer SALE!

Larry Greene is the president of Case Design/Remodeling, a full-service design/build firm serving Hamilton County. Contact him at lgreene@ indy.rr.com.

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June 14, 2011 | 29

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Dispatches Prevent diabetes in pets - According to a Banfield Pet Hospital survey, obesity ranked in the top five health problems of young adult, mature adult and senior dogs in 2010.

It was in the top three for cats of the same age. This can cause diabetes in pets, but it’s not the only risk factor. Re-immunizing your pet for diseases he’s already protected against thanks to puppy or kitten shots, can over-stimulate his immune system.

This can result in an immune-mediated disorder. There appears to be an autoimmune component in the development of diabetes mellitus, particularly in dogs.

-www.mercola.com Bark for Life - The American Cancer Society’s Bark for Life is a Relay for Life fundraising event that honors the caregiving qualities of canine companions and provides an opportunity to honor cancer survivors and remember those who have lost their fight with the disease. The event will take place June 25 from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. at Dr. James A Dillon Park, 6001 Edenshall Lane, Noblesville. Registration begins at 8 a.m. and the event is followed by a dog walk and other entertainment activities.

Itching to be well PETS

By John Mikesell The major symptom of every type of allergy in dogs is itching.

In the simplest terms, allergy is the result of an immune system gone awry. When it is functioning as it should, the immune system patrols the body, with various agents checking the identification of every molecule in the body. It allows the body’s own molecules and harmless foreign substances to go about their business, but detects, recognizes and attacks potentially harmful agents, such as viruses and pathogenic bacteria.

The three most common types of canine allergy are the following (in order): Flea bite hypersensitivity (known infor mally as “flea allergy”) Atopy (also known as atopic disease or “atopic dermatitis”) Food hypersensitivity (“also called food allergy”) There are other conditions that can also cause itching.

“Allergies are a diagnosis of exclusion,” says Donna Spector, DVM, DACVIM, an internal medicine specialist with consulting practice in Deerfield Ill. Here are some of the other conditions that can cause a dog to itch.

Bacterial infection Contact dermatitis from exposure to a caustic agent Drug reaction Fungal infection (including yeast), so be sure to check the ears.

Hyperadrenocorticism (Cushing’s disease – causes a secondary infection) Hypothyroidism (causes a secondary infection)

Immune-medicated disorders (includes conditions such as systemic lupus) Liver, pancreatic or renal failure Parasitic infection – includes internal and external parasites What you can do: Pay close attention when your dog scratches, chews, to licks himself excessively; note the event on a calendar somewhere Look for a veterinarian who will do more than try to sell you a prescription food and steroids.

Consider immunotherapy for severely allergic dogs.

Practice good housekeeping practices; keep the dog, his bed, and your home as clean as possible.

By way of reference, atopic disease in dogs is roughly analogous to hay fever in humans. Be sure to check with your vet or your pet store professional for possible causes or treatment for your dogs’ itching problems.

Pets of the week Gizmo is a 4 year old male white and liver Australian Shepherd. Gizmo is a very special boy who is full of energy and life but will need a special family. He is deaf but highly intelligent and very capable of learning commands via sign language or other hand gestures. Gizmo loves to run and really enjoys playing with toys. He has gorgeous blue eyes and a silky coat and really likes treats as well as affection. Patience, understanding and training will be needed by Gizmo’s family, but it will be well worth the time and effort to give this boy a loving and forever home.

Hera is a 3 year old female white DSH. Hera is a very friendly and outgoing girl who doesn’t know a stranger. She is good with dogs and other cats and is litter box trained. Hera arrived at the shelter with her brother Jerry and would like to be adopted with him, but she would just be happy to have a home again and will surely fit in to any home environment.

John Mikesell, owner of Izzy’s Place, A dog Bakery in Carmel, can be reached at john.mikesell@att.net.

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30 | June 14, 2011

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I guess my coffee-drinking days are over HUMOR

By Mike Redmond Lately I have come to realize I am simply not the man I used to be.

I am talking about coffee. I used to be a two- to three-pot-a-day man, and now I can barely stand the stuff. It still smells wonderful, but the thought of drinking it makes my stomach flip.

I’ve tried to figure out what happened. I can’t recall any single day when I overdosed on coffee. At two to three pots a day, I overdosed EVERY single day.

Why was I drinking so much coffee? Well, for one thing, I really liked it. A lot. Black, no sugar. Preferably with a doughnut or 12.

For another, I come from a long line of coffee drinkers, and I am talking heavyweight class. My Mom and her sisters could drain one of those 10-gallon diner coffee urns, the kind that look like upended locomotive boilers, in a single Sunday afternoon.

And then they’d have more after supper.

Coffee was a rite of passage, an entry into adulthood as significant as getting your driver’s license or smoking in front of your parents (thus making you an “official” smoker instead of an amateur trying to look cool at the Dairy Queen).

I started drinking coffee when I entered high school, in part because (a.) I thought I was far more grown-up than I actually was,

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and (b.) the school bus came at 6:10 a.m. and I probably wouldn’t have gotten upright without a large blast of Bokar blend.

But as I reached a certain age, everything went sour. Really. That is the overwhelming taste I get from coffee these days (not to mention the sensation I get in my stomach).

The designer coffees and coffee shop coffees seem especially sour to me. I’m told the taste is actually “winey.” Could be, because I taste that stuff and I get awfully whiney myself.

I tried going back to the old standbys, the grocery store coffees, and that didn’t work either. They all tasted like a mouthful of wet ash. Or at least, what I have always imagined a mouthful of wet ash would taste like.

So where does this leave me? It leaves me without coffee and frankly, not all that upset about it. As I said, I’m not the man I used to be.

The man I used to be loved coffee. The man I am today prefers tea.

Two to three pots a day.

No doughnuts, though.

Mike Redmond is an author, journalist, humorist and speaker. Write him at mike@ mikeredmondonline.com or P.O. Box 44385, Indianapolis, IN 46244.

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June 14, 2011 | 31

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HUMOR

By Dick Wolfsie My son has been buying frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at the grocery store. I am hooked on the stupid things, and I now have to hide them in the downstairs freezer behind the Healthy Choice dinners. If my wife finds out what I have been paying for this rip-off, she may never microwave anything good for me again.

Now, another innovation has hit the shelves: a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in a can.

Mark Kirkland from Utah is the creator of this idea. He claims one day he was eating a cookie and chugging a Coke and when he put his hands together, it suddenly dawned on him that you could put peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in a can. Say what? Sorry, I don’t think this has quite the lasting charm of the story of Sir Isaac Newton and the apple.

So instead of buying a ready-made peanut butter and jelly sandwich in a vending machine, or purchasing the separate items in a supermarket, Kirkland puts all the stuff in a portable kit and charges four times as much money.

Inside the container is a hot-dog-like bun wrapped in cellophane. Next to it is one squeezable packet of jelly and one of peanut butter.

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for Candwich have been brisk, but not without some drawbacks. Prisons and airlines will not offer the product to their diners. “We’re not sure why,” said one of the company investors, “but we think it might be because there’s a knife in the can.”

Busy parents looking for an easy lunch for the kids applaud this meal in a can, although some are concerned that their six-year-olds might not be able to negotiate the pull-tab. “But I think they’ll figure it out,” said one mom, “and it will be a good learning experience for when they start drinking beer.”

And there’s a new treat soon to be launched, a BBQ Chicken sandwich in a can. Why chicken?

Well one day Mark Kirkland had a piece of KFC in one hand and a ... never mind, you get the idea.

Americans may soon buy sandwiches pretty much the same way they purchase Quaker State Motor Oil. Kirkland says there is no limit to where he may go with future product development. Of course, when you ask true food lovers what Mark should consider canning next, there’s a unanimous response: How about the entire concept?

Dick Wolfsie is an author, columnist, and speaker. Contact him at wolfsie@aol.com.

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32 | June 14, 2011

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Views | Community | Cover Story | Education | Diversions | Panache | Anti-Aging | Dough | Inside & Out | Laughs | Pets | Puzzles | Classifieds “A.M. REAL ESTATE RESOURCES”

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Indiana Wordsmith Challenge

53. Damon Bailey’s hometown 56. Castleton clothing store 59. Indiana State Fair barn male 61. Carmel’s Kei purchase 62. Far from sacred hyperactive tyke: Anagram of HAMILTON COUNTY (3 wds.)

68. Hamilton Town Center unit 69. Indiana State Senator Glick or Landske 70. Pungent-smelling at the Noblesville Landfill 72. Colt foe from Tennessee 73. Day before a holiday 74. IU Health surgical tool

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56. Chris Wright’s wind blasts 57. Shenanigan

67. Lucas Oil Stadium seating section 71. Like some martinis at Stacked Pickle

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June 14, 2011 | 33

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34 | June 14, 2011

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Now Open!

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2-wheel: $59.95 4-wheel: $89.95 expires 6-30-2011

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VISA, MasterCard accepted Reach 91,350 homes weekly

Services

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Wedding/Party Invitation Assembly Pressed for time and need your invitations put together?

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FREE MOWING! For one week with weekly mowing for entire season Call Jonathan Walla 2010 IU Business Grad Professional Business for 7 years Most Lawns $30-35 Includes MOWING, EDGING, TRIMMING 698-5480 for FREE ESTIMATE

Now HIring Carmel Clay School Corporation

is accepting applications for School Bus Aides Assist special needs children to and from school Training provided. $10.66 hour Apply on-line to www.ccs.k12.in.us AA/EOE

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Science Tutor –

Junior High and High School I Taught high school chemistry in Illinois; Certified in Chemistry, Biology, Geology, and General Science.

Call Leah – 317-473-3755 or lmarsullivan@msn.com Art Enrichment Classes in your home $30 hr/1 child + $10 for groups over 5 professional artist, Elizabeth Kenney, BFA IU ages 3-12 choice of multiple mediums & projects portraits, still-life supplies provided by artist for up to 5 Carmel, Zionsville, Indpls ekenney001@sbcglobal.net elizabethkenney.com 317-603-0730

is now training School Bus Drivers for the 2011-2012 School Year Summer Paid Training Program to obtain Class B, CDL Starting at $88 day after successful completion of training Paid Bi-weekly Available to earn attendance bonus Apply on-line to www.ccs.k12.in.us, AA/EOE

Like to Sew?

Custom drapery and soft furnishings workroom in Carmel is looking for friendly, personable people who like to sew.

Sewing experience is necessary and the desire to learn and enjoy is a must.

We’ll teach you our methods. Part-time weekday daytime position in a handy location in Carmel. Call Mark or Cathy at Silk Mountain Creations, Inc. 815-1660 to set a time to come by. Please do not dropin. www.silkmountaincreations.com

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FT/PT positions for non-medical, Northside of Indy. Must have clean criminal history, valid drivers license, car insurance, HHA/ CNA or Core A&B certificate. Contact HR 317-595-9933

Garage Sales Garage sale Saturday June 18th

at 13026 Brighton Lane Carmel. Lots of home furnishings and furniture and antiques. Some baseball cards and 500 memorabilia also with lots more.

Call 317-796-0714 with questions . Located in the Springmill Streams sub division .

489.4444 ext. 202 Now HIring CAREGIVERS NEEDED! You can make a real difference IN- HOME SENIOR

We need dependable, caring, mature People ready to work. Assist elderly w/ personal care, meal prep, housekeeping, transportation.

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DISTRESS SALE

Bank Foreclosures Hamilton Co. Free list of Foreclosure Properties. Receive a FREE daily list by e-mail; www.hamiltoncoforeclosures.com

LOANS LIMITED TIME SPECIAL RATE OFFER 4% Fixed Rate for 6 years Call Terry (317) 850-3212

Rent Noblesville company looking for a full time customer service professional that can manage multiple duties at the same time in a small office atmosphere. Will be responsible for customer service, data entry, back up dispatching and other miscellaneous office duties.

Must have great attitude, great customer service skills with excellent organizational skills. Full time position with full benefit package. $11-$12/hr. depending on experience. Email resume to michelle. hepburn@summersphc.com or fax to 317-773-2645

Garage Sales MOVING SALE 9580 E. 192nd. Street Noblesville Fri 6/17 & Sat 6/18 8am - 4pm LOTS AND LOTS OF ITEMS

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Retail Space for Rent 900 square feet prime retail space on SR 32 Historic Downtown Noblesville Courthouse Square $1100.00/ month - Available July 1st 317-258-6661

Garage Sales ANNUAL NEIGHBORHOOD GARAGE SALE Jordan Woodlands Thurs thru Sat June 16 - 18 8am - ??

NW corner of 106th & Keystone Garage Sale Proceeds benefit Dog Rescue Friday, June 17th 4:00 to 7:00 Saturday. June 18th 9:00 to 3:00 401 North Union Street: Westfield Moving Sale:Pet items, daycare items, much much more

June 14, 2011 | 35

10.375” x 11.75” Full Page Built at size (100%) Views | Community | Cover Story | Education | Diversions | Panache | Anti-Aging | Dough | Toys | Lifestyle | Inside & Out | Pets | Laughs | Puzzles | Classifieds

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36 | June 14, 2011

Current in Carmel RILEY HOSPITAL FOR CHILDREN AT IU HEALTH 705 Riley Hospital Drive, Indianapolis

|

RILEY HOSPITAL FOR CHILDREN AT IU HEALTH NORTH 11700 North Meridian Street, Carmel

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