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Views | Community | Cover Story | Diversions | Anti-Aging | Dough | Toys | In Spirit | Panache | Inside & Out | Laughs | Puzzles | Classifieds

Tech savvy Founded Oct. 24, 2006, at Carmel, IN Vol. VI, No. 11 Copyright 2011. Current Publishing, LLC All Rights Reserved.

30 South Range Line Road Carmel, IN 46032

317.489.4444 Managing Editor – Kevin Kane kevin@youarecurrent.com / 489.4444 ext. 204 Associate Editor – Terry Anker terry@currentincarmel.com Art Director – Zachary Ross zach@youarecurrent.com / 489.4444 Associate Artist – Andrea Nickas andrea@youarecurrent.com / 489.4444 Cartoonist – Tim Campbell tim@currentincarmel.com

OUR VIEWS

It is our position we have allowed ourselves to become too dependent on technology. While technology is fast and convenient, it also has the habit of not working when we need it to. It is our opinion we maintain some of the practices held before e-mails and text messages were introduced into our lives.

We love technology as much as the next person, but believe being as reliant as we are on it is something that must change. We’re in no way saying to give up technology, but to keep skills such as letter writing and doing math without a calculator in practice.

We also fear if we do not keep these practices in our lives, children are going to lose it entirely. Some of America’s most important transactions have been through pen and paper. Columbus didn’t use a Garmin or TomTom to discover the New World and Albert Einstein didn’t use a calculator to come up with the theory of relativity. There’s a time to do things the quick and easy way, and there’s a time to do things deliberately. We need to be sure we are prepared for both.

Pet etiquette

It is our position we need to be more considerate of our neighbors in terms of how we handle our pets. Many people don’t want to start a Hatfield’s versus McCoy’s situation over a pet, but the constant barking of your neighbor’s dog or running over the pets’ waste with your lawn mower is enough to strain any relationship.

We have all these books and columns about dinner etiquette, but it’s rare to discuss pet etiquette. We believe it’s alarming how thoughtless some are to their neighbors. Your neighbors should not hear your dog barking. We need to be careful about how our pets affect our neighbors.

Sometimes it’s too easy to let the dog stay outside and bark without doing anything to quiet it, or not pick up the dog’s poop. These two issues are easy fixes and will help improve the relationships with neighbors. We all love our pets and want to do things that make them happy. Sometimes though, they need to take a backseat to our neighbors, who have the right to enjoy an atmosphere not polluted with the sound of barking dogs.

The views in these editorials are of reader participants. They do not represent those of Current Publishing ownership and management.

Advertising Senior Sales Executive – Dennis O’Malia dennis@youarecurrent.com / 370.0749

Business Office Bookkeeper – Heather Cole heather@youarecurrent.com / 489.4444 Publisher – Brian Kelly brian@youarecurrent.com / 414.7879 General Manager – Steve Greenberg steve@youarecurrent.com / 847.5022 The views of the columnists in Current In Carmel are their own and do not necessarily reflect the positions of this newspaper.

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@CI_Carmel

strange laws V E C TO R BU T TO N S . CO M V E C TO R BU T TO N S . CO M

CONSTITUTION CLOSEUP

Photo Illustration

Our nation has all sorts of arcane, nonsensical laws on the books. Each week, we’ll share one with you.

In Maryland, thistles may not grow in one’s yard.

Source: dumblaws.com

www.youarecurrent.com

Every week, we will print a portion of the U.S. Constitution, followed by a portion of the Indiana Constitution. We encourage you to benchmark government policies against these bedrock documents. Today: the U.S. Constitution.

Article. I. Section. 8. Clause 8: To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries;.

Clause 9: To constitute Tribunals inferior to the supreme Court; Clause 10: To define and punish Piracies and Felonies committed on the high Seas, and Offences against the Law of Nations; Clause 11: To declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and Water;

Current in Carmel

Clause 12: To raise and support Armies, but no Appropriation of Money to that Use shall be for a longer Term than two Years; Clause 13: To provide and maintain a Navy; Clause 14: To make Rules for the Government and Regulation of the land and naval Forces; Clause 15: To provide for calling forth the Militia to execute the Laws of the Union, suppress Insurrections and repel Invasions; Clause 16: To provide for organizing, arming, and disciplining, the Militia, and for governing such Part of them as may be employed in the Service of the United States, reserving to the States respectively, the Appointment of the Officers, and the Authority of training the Militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress;

January 17, 2012 | 3

I thought I WAS PERFECTLY HEALTHY. When Don’s family doctor recommended he have a heart scan at The Indiana Heart Hospital, he was surprised because up to that point, he had been told he was healthy. But the heart scan showed he needed quadruple bypass surgery immediately.

Don says it saved his life. And now he’s back to what he loves... going to the gym, playing golf and performing at his local theatre.

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The Indiana Heart Hospital on the Community Hospital North campus specializes in the latest technology and treatment.

And it’s the only nationally accredited chest pain emergency room in your area. You’ll be seen within minutes by two board certified physicians – an emergency room physician and a cardiologist, both in the hospital 24/7.

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Call 317-621-8575 to schedule a heart scan for $49 today!

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Arts center points to success

FROM THE BACKSHOP News from the other side of the door Today, we take you deep inside the inner sanctum of Current Publishing, a place where few have gone before – mostly because of the square footage deficit, but what should that matter? We have news items for your reading pleasure, so let’s get right to it: • Where have you read this before?

Our little company is growing once again.

With editions performing at record levels in Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville and Westfield, we once more are answering some of our advertisers’ calls for expansion. This time, at their behest, we’re moving into neighboring Zionsville. Current in Zionsville is scheduled to launch March 20. We’re staffing up quickly and are eager to begin serving yet another community. (This newspaper stuff is a regular all-American blast!)

• In another growth-related move, we have (finally) hired an online/social media coordinator, Christian Sorrell, who – believe this! – actually knows more about those platforms than we do. OK, truthfully, everyone in the world knows more about it than we do, but that’s just a detail. In short order, we anticipate Christian’s work on our existing Web sites, new Facebook pages and Twitter accounts for each community we serve to pay off big time for those readers that wish

Brian Kelly & Steve Greenberg to interact with us or our editors. So, please stop accusing us of wallowing in the 20th century. Christian convinced us it’s time to get current. Get it? If you wish to interact with him, you’ll find him at christian@ youarecurrent.com.

• More good news: If you or your business wants to reach every household in Noblesville, Bev Sams will get on the case for you. An accomplished veteran of the media sales wars in Tucson and Memphis, Bev and her family recently relocated to Hamilton County. When her resume floated across our desks (old-school expression), it was a nobrainer to bring her aboard. You may reach her at bev@youarecurrent.com.

The age paradox

Commentary

By Terry Anker I guess they call it over-the-hill because once we pass the summit, life accelerates at a startling rate. We have more to do and less time to do it.

Kids. Careers. Parents.

Houses. Assets. Building Assets. At mid-life, it is all in play. No doubt, the heaviest lifting happens when we are young – trying to figure out what we like – and perhaps equally important, what we can do that might actually add value to the world around us. But by the top of the mountain, we have learned skills and generally figured out how to survive. Then, the ride really begins.

Yet the journey from that point on is rife with paradox. Many of us have accumulated more friends, family and stuff than we could ever find time to enjoy. We are routinely invited to the banquet of life (and can afford to indulge in it), yet our diets won’t allow for the calories. We have settled into a world of our own making,

even as we are trapped by the very dominion of that we have wrought. Even as we become more efficient and thoughtful in how we expend our energy, we don’t have as much of it left to spend. Perhaps it is true – youth is wasted on the young. Or perhaps it is the intentional nature of things. If we started life devoid of both wisdom and exuberance, few of us would ever make it long enough to reach the midpoint. Is it possible we need the vigor of our early lives to survive the years on the path to the wisdom of adulthood?

Now that I am looking at life on the downside of the over-the-hill equation, I wonder what the next half holds. Regardless, I intend to enjoy the ride.

Even as we become more efficient and thoughtful in how we expend our energy, we don’t have as much of it left to spend.

www.youarecurrent.com

Terry Anker is an associate editor of Current Publishing, LLC. You may e-mail him at terry@ currentincarmel.com.

team has attracted more than 20 major corporate COMMENTARY partners in the past year. From St.Vincent Health

By Frank Basile as the Center’s season sponsor to the newly-formed Two weeks ago, Current published an edipartnership for the June gala with Krieg DeVault, torial penned by former city councilor John corporations are actively supporting the Center’s Accetturo. The editorial outlined a strategy for mission. More than 50 companies – large and advancing the Center for the Performing Arts.

It will come as little surprise to most that I agree small – have joined the Center since 2011.

Operational funding for performing arts cen100 percent with the strategy. However, I take ters are comprised of public, corporate and philit a step further by acknowledging the Center is anthropic support. Centers in Miami and Kansas doing the very things the editorial outlined.

City, for example, not only are owned and built From growing our relationships with the by municipalities, but receive public funding for Central Indiana philanthropic community and operations. The City of Carmel has built a gem of collaborating with well-established arts orgaan arts campus, and operational support is vital. nizations, to management by an independent The weekend of Jan. 6 -8 was one of the most governance board, the Center is following a ambitious lineups presented by the Center for the successful strategy. The Center’s board is indePerforming Arts. From Patti Austin’s jazz vocals pendent and comprised of well-respected comand country hits by Restless Heart, to the Indiamunity leaders, representing our region’s most napolis Symphony Orchestra’s “Hello, Dolly!,” high-profile companies, including Eli Lilly, St. the weekend showcased the arts like never before.

Vincent Health and Krieg DeVault.

Certainly, performances are high profile. The Not only are we nurturing relationships with Center’s profile in the realm of fundraising and beloved regional arts groups, but the Center also is outreach is equally driven and ambitious. Publeveraging fundraising opportunities. A statewide lic, corporate and philanthropic relationships approach to fundraising is important, as well as a regional and national focus. The Michael Feinstein are the strategic path for ongoing success.

Great American Songbook Initiative provides opportunities for national reach. In fact, after the galFrank Basile is the interim lery’s October exhibit opening, the Center received executive director for the Center for the Performing Arts. a $1 million gift from an Ohio family.

To contact Frank, write info@ The Center’s Corporate Sponsorship program thecenterfortheperformingarts.org. ?????

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DISPATCHES » Race for the Cure fundraiser – AlphaGraphics of Carmel will host an after-hours event at La Mie Emilie, 15 W. Main St., Jan. 24 from 5:30 to 8 p.m. to raise funds for Team MAMMagRAPHICS Race for the Cure. Heather Ramsey will be on hand to entertain. Complimentary hors d’oeuvres will be served along with a cash bar. To RSVP or learn more about Team MAMMagRAPHICS, call Rhonda at 844-6629 or e-mail her at rkile@alphagraphics.com. » Kiwanis meeting – Carmel Golden K Kiwanis Club will meet at 10 a.m. on Thursday at the American Legion Hall, 852 W. Main St. Speaker: Frank Basile, telling his life story.

Contact: Don Moehn at 873-1956. » Rotary meeting – The Rotary Club of Carmel will meet Friday, noon to 1:30 p.m. at the Mansion at Oak Hill, 5801 E. 116th St. Speaker: Bobby Cox, commissioner of the Indiana High School Athletic Association. The cost for lunch is $12.

Contact: Wendy Phillips at 501-4955. » CCPR’s Klitzing earns certification – Carmel Clay Parks and Recreation Assistant Director Michael Klitzing recently earned the Certified Park and Recreation Executive certification granted by the National Certification Board in conjunction with the National Recreation and Park Association. The CPRE program recognizes advanced skills and competencies related to the professional practice, and delivery of park and recreation programs and services. » American girl party - American girls today are active and involved. They like to learn and have fun. This program at the Carmel Clay Public Library – Jan. 28, 11 a.m. to noon and 1 to 2 p.m. – will teach attendees how to do the all-American square dance and then make their own ice cream sundaes. Free tickets are required and will be available beginning Jan. 21, online or at the Children’s Reference desk. Each person must have a ticket to enter the program. Call 844-3363 for more information. » Student art display – The Carmel Arts Council’s World’s Smallest Children’s Art Gallery at 40 W. Main St. exhibits artwork of local students in grades kindergarten through sixth. This month, the gallery will display art from Carmel Elementary School students Jan. 23 and 30 from 2 to 4 p.m. on those days. For more information, visit www.carmelartscouncil.org.

www.youarecurrent.com

This I swear

COMMENTARY

By Danielle Wilson I find it fascinating so many of you are concerned enough with my use of foul language that you’d take time from your day to e-mail me. Thank you, I feel so loved! Unfairly judged, certainly, but nonetheless loved. The response reminds me of the few times I’ve expressed frustration about my faith – strangers criticizing my honesty, praying for my salvation and condemning me to the eternal hell fires.

To bring you up to speed, one of my New Year’s resolutions is to cut back on the cussing.

Several women wrote to say my filthy articles had no place in their local publications; more to call me ignorant because I can’t think of a better word than “sh*#.” But here’s the deal. Beside the fact that I like swearing, I just don’t understand what the big deal is.

Let’s be honest. Being a parent requires you to constantly censor yourself. Children are impressionable tattletales who will gleefully rat you out to any neighbor, teacher or priest who’ll listen. For example, you slam your Diet Coketoting hand in the mini-van door carpooling to soccer. Even though “MythBusters” proved cursing increases pain tolerance, you can’t yell “c%#*s@!*&er” or even “da$@” because little Andy will go tell his straight-laced mommy that Mrs. Wilson has a potty mouth. And guess

who won’t be getting anymore rides to practice?

Exactly – the newly branded juvenile delinquent with the salty sailor for an old lady.

And my youngest is only 7, which means I’ve still got at least 10 more years before I can conceivably speak an unforgivable word in her company without her plunging the daggers of shock and disappointment into my soul. That’s entirely too long to be limited to ineffective “hecks” and boring “fudges.” Bottom line? It’s simply not possible or even healthy to expurgate my vocabulary.

I believe it’s much better to release the rage in small doses in a controlled environment. I also think, when used appropriately and with just the right timing, foul language is hilarious.

(Exhibit A: Richard Pryor. Exhibit B: George Carlin. The defense rests.) That’s why I love my family, in-laws and coworkers. They get it. They know swearing is simply a punch line, a vent or a colorful way to say you’ve had a hard day.

So cut me some slack. I don’t use profanity that much. I’m just a working mom with four kids and a bald husband who occasionally needs to let one fly to keep her sanity. Peace out.

Danielle Wilson is a Carmel resident and contributing columnist.

You may e-mail her at danielle@ currentincarmel.com.

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January 17, 2012 | 7

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Taste of the Chamber grows in 11th year editorial@youarecurrent.com Guests at the Carmel Chamber of Commerce’s 11th annual Taste of the Chamber business expo will get their fill when they sample menu items from some of the Chamber’s best restaurants, caterers, eateries and specialty shops – and have an opportunity to network and connect with more than 110 exhibitors representing local businesses.

New in 2012 New restaurants and caterers participating this year are Cooking Greek, Indy Anna’s Catering, Sullivan’s Steakhouse, Cookie Casa, Atrio at IU Health North Hospital and Tony Sacco’s Coal Oven Pizza. Carmel High School students enrolled in the culinary program will also prepare and serve “Carmel” cheesecake and gain real-world experience at the same time.

Attendees can choose from samples of barbecue shrimp with mashed potatoes, homemade hummus and pita, mini prime rib sandwiches, bacon popcorn, cheesesteak egg rolls, lobster bisque shooters, roasted duck breast canapes, cake pops, deep dish and traditional pizzas and more.

if you go What: Taste of the Chamber When: Jan. 19, 4:30 to 7 p.m.

Where: Ritz Charles, 12156 N. Meridian St. Tickets: Available online at www. carmelchamber.com or at the door. Cost: $5 for Chamber member; $10 for non-members.

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Keltie Domina of Kelties Restaurant & Catering at the 2011 Taste of the Chamber.

Join us for a morning filled with health information, screenings and assessments designed to educate you on issues encountered during your life’s journey.

In total, 110 exhibitors will put their businesses on display, and most will hold drawings for special prizes and giveaways. As the Carmel Chamber’s largest business-after-hours networking event of the year, this annual expo is an opportunity for members and the public to get to know Chamber businesses and what they offer.

Expo grows in 2012 In 2011, Taste of the Chamber drew 650 guests, an increase of 8 percent over the previous year. The total number of exhibitors increase 11 percent in 2011 for a total of 97 exhibitors. Because a waiting list developed for the 2011 event, the Chamber worked with Ritz Charles to revamp the layout and increase the number of 2012 exhibitors to 110, 13 percent more than available last year.

Thirty-five businesses have signed on as Crystal and Silver Sponsors this year.

Motivated by McFadden COMMENTARY

By Jeff Worrell 53,789 is the nice round number I always think of when I hear the name Bill McFadden.

Crazy as it sounds, the number sticks with me because I hold Bill personally responsible for creating it. 53,789 is the exact quantity of little, red-numbered game tickets he and wife Judy handed to parents who wanted their children to jump in a bounce house, ride a pony or launch a water balloon during CarmelFest.

Fortunately for Bill, I will no longer need to think of him as just a number. Instead, I can now fondly refer to him as the guy so amazing, the Rotary Club of Carmel named an award after him. Each year, from this day forward, a Carmel High School student will be recognized and honored with the William D. McFadden Student Service Award.

McFadden has been a civic minded pillar of our society since the early and formative years of Carmel. He was a member of the original town council, which helped to guide small-town Carmel toward becoming the vibrant and respected city it is today. But as a civic-minded member of our community, Bill joined Rotary as a way to give back and follow the Rotary motto, “Service before self.” As an active Rotarian, he became

8 | January 17, 2012

involved with the student exchange program.

Since joining Rotary in 1976, Bill has sponsored six foreign exchange students himself, as well as coordinating and managing the activities of other inbound exchange students.

Bill’s entire life has been an adventure built on serving others. Not only has he been active in our community, but he has traveled to far-away destinations to promote, support and work on worthy Rotary projects such as polio immunization, construction of water wells, schools, medical missions and hunger initiatives.

Each and every one of these initiatives are excellent examples of Bill’s “ideals of service.”

Because of his years of work interacting with students, it seemed only fitting for the Rotary Club of Carmel to surprise him with this honor.

But more importantly, there is now a tool to inspire and motivate students who want to think, act and serve just like Bill McFadden. We can never have too many of those.

> when: Saturday, January 28 > tIme: 8:30 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. > wheRe: Riverview Rehab & Fitness–Carmel 14535 B Hazel Dell Parkway The morning will kick off with a continental breakfast featuring Eric Banter from Shamrock Wellness, presenting Reducing Stress and Gaining Balance in Your Life.

Ongoing Screenings at the event will include: > vein screenings conducted by vascular surgeon, Dr. Jeffrey Weinberger > Cholesterol and glucose (12 hour fasting required) > Blood pressure > Balance and core strength assessments > skin cancer screenings conducted by Dr. susan Cavins-stewart Breakout sessions include: > Causes and treatments of snoring with Dr. Brad Bichey > Women After 40 - Mid-life transitions with Dr. Adrienne Rasbach > new Options in Women’s Health - Contraception, HPv, Cervical Cancer with Dr. Katheryn Moreira > Pelvic Floor Health and Incontinence > Heart Health – Care Group Hamilton Heart > Free aqua aerobics class (registration required) Enjoy relaxing chair massages, guided tours of the fitness facility and a variety of health and wellness information.

to register, visit riverview.org or call (317) 770-5835.

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Jeff Worrell is a local businessman.

He recognizes volunteers on “Connecting with Carmel” on cable channel 16. Contact him at jworrell@advantagemedical.com RVH-105-Current-01.17.12-FNL.indd Current in Carmel

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1/11/12 8:59 AM www.youarecurrent.com

RES:

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to s e g n a h Big c sign s ’ y t i c e th ce ordinan

By Kevin Kane kevin@youarecurrent.com Carmel Chamber President Mo Merhoff said she could be just a few weeks from finally enjoying the fruits of her more than two-and-a-half years of labor.

During that time, Merhoff has been part of a small task force working to bring about substantial changes to the city’s sign ordinance, now more than 30 years old. Merhoff said the difficulties presented by the current sign ordinance are one of the biggest challenges facing Carmel business owners today. The proposed changes, she said, should help all of the city’s businesses and indirectly benefit Carmel residents.

“We have instances of businesses that have never put a sign out front because of this ordinance,” Merhoff said. “The goal is, sometime this spring, we’ll have a new sign ordinance, and that would be super.”

More than two years ago, the task force began this process with the city with four major goals in mind: to make the ordinance userfriendly, to eliminate subjectivity in the application of the ordinance, to streamline the approval process and to level the playing field.

Streamlining the process

Eliminating subjectivity

Merhoff said the task force is recommending the elimination of some wording in the ordinance that she said is unnecessary and open for interpretation. Merhoff said examples include wording that says certain types of signs are preferred, though not required.

“It all gets interpreted by the Plan Commission and on any given Tuesday, it can change,” she said.

Currently, the Plan Commission must approve even minor, simple changes. Merhoff said a business owner recently was forced to drive from Fort Wayne to present a change to a sign after the company had changed names. His presentation, Merhoff said, lasted no more than two minutes before the commission’s Special Studies Committee granted approval.

“Everyone realizes that’s not a good idea,” she said.

Proposed changes include allowing the city’s Dept. of Community Services to act on basic requests.

Leveling the playing field

Making it user-friendly

A few simple but impactful proposed changes could make understanding and adhering to the ordinance much easier. Merhoff said many sections have been shortened or even rewritten in the current proposal, eliminating unnecessary legalese that she said makes the ordinance difficult to navigate. Additionally, the city’s sign permit specialist has created a visual guide that includes examples of various types of signs. Ultimately, the goal of both the chamber and the city is to amend the ordinance in a way that will allow businesses to apply for new or different signage without help.

“The general public just wants to be able to it themselves without coming to me and without hiring an attorney,” Rachel Boone, city plannign adminisA sample of the signs allowed currently trator and sign specialist told the Plan Commission in October.

“If something is good for a business in one area why can’t it work for one somewhere else?” Merhoff said.

The task force is pushing for a sign ordinance that can be applied consistently to all businesses, regardless of location. Currently, businesses in certain areas, such as the Arts & Design District, must adhere to sign regulations different from those applying to the rest of the city. A perfect example, Merhoff said, are the three blade signs outside divvy at Carmel City Center. At its new location in the arts district, the chamber is limited to the use of window decals and a spot on a small street-level sign.

How this affects you

Merhoff said the amended ordinance, when approved, will impact more than just local business owners. In addition to making some businesses easier to locate, the changes could lead to savings for their customers, she said. A simpler ordinance should mean businesses will spend less on sign applications and consequently have fewer costs to pass on to their customers.

The city’s proposed changes to the ordinance include requiring permits for many residential signs. Merhoff said that, if the task force is unsuccessful in getting this new section altered or removed, residents could be required to acquire permits from the city for common signs such as ones advertising yard sales.

“We have instances of businesses that have never put a sign out front because of this ordinance.

The goal is, sometime this spring, we’ll have a new sign ordinance, and that would be super.”

Mo Merhoff

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First phase of mass transit work could begin next year

By Kevin Kane kevin@youarecurrent.com Carmel Chamber of Commerce members got a glimpse this week of what transportation in the Indianapolis area could look like in the near future.

Ron Gifford, the executive director of the Central Indiana Transit Task Force, spoke at the Carmel chamber’s monthly luncheon Wednesday and provided an update on mass transit plans for the area. Gifford said work could begin as soon as 2013 on the $1.3 billion project that would create a system consisting of buses and rail servicing Hamilton and Marion counties. The task force in December announced its local funding plan for mass transit for the two counties after nearly three years of research. The next step, he said, is to get a referendum on November’s ballot that would allow voters to decide if the $1.3 billion project is worth funding.

The majority of the funding would come from a new county economic development income tax of 0.3 percent. Gifford said that, while $1.3 billion is a substantial sum, more money has been or will be spent on three road projects - “Accelerate 465,” upcoming Major Moves work on U.S. 31 in Hamilton County and lane expansions at I-465 and I-69.

Of the $1.3 billion, Gifford said $124 mil-

lion would be spent on doubling bus services in Marion County and extending service into Hamilton County, $543 million would be spent on a bus rapid transit system and $625 million would go towards a rail line running from Noblesville to Indianapolis with frequent stops along the way.

The BRT system, Gifford said, would provide an estimated travel time of 31 minutes from Noblesville to downtown Indianapolis, regardless of traffic or time of day.

“BRT is a relatively new concept in the United States,” he said. “It’s basically light rail on wheels.”

The buses would use designated lanes and have the ability to avoid stopping at intersections by changing traffic signals the way fire engines do now. Stations would be built about every half mile, he said, and history and modern examples suggest that economic development would occur around these stations.

Gifford suggested that those who like these plans – on which more details are available at www.masstransitplan.com – should tell their elected officials.

“This issue ultimately should go to the voters so they can decide if they want to make this investment in our community,” he said.

Eggshell Bistro brings ‘global fusion’ to City Center editorial@youarecurrent.com A unique new restaurant is now open at Carmel City Center.

Eggshell Bistro is now serving breakfast and lunch daily from 7 a.m. to 2 p.m. According to its owner, Larry Hanes, the menu and culinary style can be described as “global fusion” – healthy, rustic and creative dishes influenced by the cuisine of France, Italy, China and other countries. In the future, Eggshell Bistro (51 W. City Center Dr.) may occasionally offer special Prix Fixe dinners to coincide with Palladium performances and other community events.

Eggshell Bistro joins the retail and restaurants already open in Carmel City Center: Addendum Gallery, Authentic Sports Collectibles, Brides of Carmel, Daphney Allen Skincare, divvy, Holy Cow, Cupcakes!, Keller Interactive Media, Mangia!, Nature’s Karma,

Vintage Tolix bistro chairs at Eggshell Bistro The Next Step Fitness and Uber Boutique.

Polleo Systems will open later this month.

Hubbard & Cravens will open in spring 2012.

Pedcor also recently signed a lease with Jack & Jill Children’s Shoppe and is in various stages of lease negotiations with other restaurant, retail and service concepts, the company said in a release.

Carrabba’s closes Merchant’s Square location editorial@youarecurrent.com A longtime fixture in the Merchant’s Square shopping center has closed.

Carrabba’s closed the doors of its 6,692-square-foot Carmel location for good on Sunday. Sources say the restaurant and Michigan-based Ramco-Gershenson

Properties Trust could not reach an agreement on the terms of a new lease, and this was the reason for the closure.

Carmel Chamber of Commerce President Mo Merhoff characterized the closure as “awful.”

“Their business was good and they were a great community asset,” she said.

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Knight autograph session postponed until spring

Toby Stark, Chaucie’s Place executive director, at the nonprofits new location.

Community sees new home of Chaucie’s Place Chaucie’s Place last month moved to a new location at 4607 E. 106th St. This week, the child advocacy center invited the public to check out its new home during an open house Tuesday night. Executive Director Toby Stark said more than 100 people from the community attended the event, and “Gold Hammer” awards were presented to 16 individuals who Stark said made the move possible.

editorial@youarecurrent.com An autograph session with Bob Knight scheduled for today in Carmel has been postponed.

Knight’s representatives this week notified Authentic Sports Collectibles, the host of Knight the event, of the need to postpone as a result of a family emergency.

An announcement of the new date will be made once it has been finalized, and tickets already purchased will be honored on this new date.

“We apologize for any inconvenience. We are working with Coach Knight’s representatives to find an alternate date, which looks like it will take place in the spring,” ACS owner Dominique Ball said in a release.

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Council names president, appointees editorial@youarecurrent.com Rick Sharp will run the City Council’s meetings in 2012.

Last week, the council named Sharp its president for 2012. He takes the position of councilor and 2011 Sharp president Eric Seidensticker.

Sharp last served as the council president in 2010.

The council also made its appointments to

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various city commissions, including: • Keeping Jim Hawkins on the Board of Zoning Appeals through 2015 • Keeping Councilman Kevin Rider on the Plan Commission through 2015 • Keeping David Bowers and Brad Meyer on the Carmel Redevelopment Commission through 2012 The council did not nominate an appointee to the Ethics Commission, and thus set this appointment aside until the next scheduled meeting.

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DISPATCHES » Deadline nearing – The deadline for artists to apply to the 2012 Broad Ripple Art Fair is Jan. 22. The fair will be held May 19 and 20. On average, more than 800 artists from North America apply for one of 225 booths. For more information, visit www.indplsartcenter.org/braf. » Small resorts push for customers – With bleak snowfall at Colorado’s biggest ski resorts, the nation’s smaller ski areas are moving in for the kill – and tourist dollars. Big Sky Resort in Montana has offered free skiing to anyone who bought an Epic Ski Pass good for Colorado’s Vail, Beaver Creek, Breckenridge and Keystone resorts. And Taos Ski Valley in New Mexico has offered discounted lift tickets to Vail season pass holders as well.

These smaller resorts have received ample snowfall while larger ski areas, like Vail Mountain, have received 30-year lows.

-www.overheadbin.msnbc.com » Rookie Run registration open – Registration for the 2012 Chase 500 Festival Rookie Run is now open on the 500 Festival website, www.500festival.com. The Rookie Run will take place at 1 p.m. on May 12 at Monument Circle. All kids, ages 3-12, are invited to participate in the noncompetitive race. The pre-registration fee is $6 until May. On-site registration will be $10. For more information, visit www.500festival.com. » Houseplants dripping without watering? – Some houseplants will do something called guttation, almost like perspiration for us humans. The plant is trying to rid itself of excess water. Guttation makes a plant vulnerable to diseasecausing bacteria, so you’ll want to avoid this problem by reducing the amount of water you’re giving the plant, especially in these winter months. Also, watch those drips because they contain salts, sugars and other organics that could stain whatever it is they’re dripping on.

-www.almanac.com » Super Bowl entertainment schedule – The 2012 Indianapolis Super Bowl Host Committee announced last week the dates and times for the musical performances in the Super Bowl Village that will start on Jan. 27. Two stages – the Pepsi Stage at Meridian and Georgia Streets and the Verizon Stage at Pennsylvania and Georgia Streets – will host bands daily through Super Bowl Sunday for the public to enjoy for free. For a list of performances, visit www.currentincarmel.com.

12 | January 17, 2012

Escape the challenges of New Year’s resolutions editorial@youarecurrent.com New Year’s resolutions rarely come to fruition.

Carmel Clay Parks & Recreation will make it easy for you to achieve health-conscious goals with the Monon Community Center Escape Pass.

Here are our top 10 reasons why the Monon Community Center is going to help you achieve your New Year’s resolutions: 1. Just feel like you are “too out of shape?”

– The welcoming staff, fitness and health experts and folks just like you are there to bolster your confidence and lend the support you crave.

2. Become easily bored with the exercise routine? – There’s little chance of boredom with a wide range of fitness options, all under one roof and included in your Escape Pass. These include a pristine fitness center providing a FitLinxx system, a computer program to coach you through your workouts, cardio and weight machines, and free weights to an indoor lap pool.

3. Ever feel like you’re working out in a closet? – Meet the Monon Community Center with 146,000 spacious square feet of recreation and fitness fun.

4. Love to walk and hate the cold? – We’ve got an indoor track that keeps you moving without layering up like a Yeti.

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5. Or do you LIKE layering up like a Yeti? Central Park includes 161-acres, featuring natural wetlands, lagoon, boardwalk and four miles of trails.

6. Deep in parenthood? – Numerous child-oriented recreation and fitness programs are available, as well as childcare at the KidZone, which includes a tree house.

7. Need year-round, affordable fun? How about a nationallyrecognized water park featuring five pools of fun, plus the new-in-2012 FlowRider? And when the winter winds begin to worsen, take your fun inside to our activity pool with indoor water slide, as well as recreational sports, classes and three full-size basketball courts.

8. Cost conscious? Escape Passes pay for themselves in less than one visit per week.

And let’s face it: the cost of a monthly Escape Pass is a whole lot cheaper than the ill-effects of an inactive lifestyle.

9. Don’t live in Carmel? –We are an “equal opportunity for fitness” facility. Our pricing is the same regardless of your home address.

10. Too busy? – Make fitness a priority – you owe it to yourself.

Carmel Clay Parks & Recreation and the

Monon Community Center look forward to guiding your escapes this winter and for years to come with a commitment to environmental, social and economic sustainability. Come see what we have to offer and unwind, explore and escape with us.

Escape Pass Prices • Adult: $35/month • Youth/Senior: $23/month • Household: $95/month For more information contact Lindsay Labas, marketing manager, at 573-4020.

You may also e-mail her at llabas@ carmelclayparks.com

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New production now on stage Beef & Boards Dinner Theatre presents its debut production of The Dixie Swim Club to kick off its 39th Season.

Pictured are, from left: Sheree (Angela Plank) and Dina (Rita Thomas), front, Vernadette (Sarah Hund) and Jeri Neal (Laurie Walton), center, with Lexie (Jill Kelly), at top.

The show is on stage through Feb. 12.

Tickets range from $37 to $60, and include Chef Odell Ward’s dinner buffet. For reservations, call the box office at 872-9664. For more information, including complete show schedule, visit www.beefandboards.com.

Now to Jan. 29 – Hearthside Suppers at Conner Prairie, 13400 Allisonville Rd., Fishers, is available every Friday, Saturday and Sunday from 6 to 9 p.m., now to Jan. 29. Ever wondered what people ate for dinner in the early 19th century or how they cooked that meal? Discover those answers firsthand when you and your family join in preparing, serving and enjoying a candlelight feast straight from the pages of a 19th-century cookbook. Reservations are required and admission is $60 per person. For more information, call 776-6006 or visit www. connerprairie.org.

Jan. 14 – The Center for the Performing Arts Birdie Gallery will host “A Tribute to Ella and Basie with Patti Austin and the Count Basie Orchestra” at 8 p.m., 1 Center Green, Carmel.

Count Basie’s music, characterized by a bluessteeped jumping beat and contrapuntal piano accents, was a showcase for top-drawers sing-

LIVE MUSIC Mickey’s Irish Pub, 13644 N. Meridian St. For more information call 573-9746.

Friday – Endless Summer Band Saturday – Endless Summer Band Mo’s Irish Pub, 13193 Levinson Lane in the Hamilton Town Center, Noblesville. For more

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ers, from Billie Holiday to Tony Bennett. But it was arguably Ella Fitzgerald’s meeting with the Count that proved to be “A Perfect Match.” For more information and to purchase tickets, call 843-3800 or visit www.thcenterfortheperformingarts.org.

Jan. 21 - Tony Award-winning actress and singer Christine Ebersole will perform at 7 p.m. at the Studio at the Center for the Performing Arts, 3 Center Green, Carmel. Ebersole has enchanted audiences through the years with her performances both on stage and on screen.

Recently starring on stage as Edith Beale and Little Edie Beale in “Grey Gardens,” she has also appeared on screen in many hit movies such as “Amadeus, Tootsie, My Girl 2” and TV shows including “Ugly Betty, Law and Order SVU” and “Will and Grace.” For more information, call 843-3800 or visit www.thcenterfortheperformingarts.org. information, call 770-9020.

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January 17, 2012 | 13

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Blu Moon Café The Scoop: Blu Moon Café, located in the heart of Carmel’s Arts and Design District, was opened by owners Brian and Shelley Jordan in June 2010.

The couple saw a need for an eatery that offered fresh fare, such as paninis, deli sandwiches, soups, homemade prepared salads and fabulous desserts. The Jordans are both culinary school graduates and combine more than 30 years experience in the restaurant industry. The restaurant offers free Wi-Fi, outdoor dining, catering and is kid-friendly.

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Take out: Available Alcohol license: Yes, beer and wine available Dress: Casual Hours: 7 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Friday, and 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday.

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The Velvet Edie Ingredients: • 3 parts Martini & Rossi Bianco Vermouth • 1 part lemon juice • 1/2 part simple syrup • 2 raspberries • 2 mint leaves Preperations: Gently muddle 1 raspberry and 1 mint leaf with simple syrup in the base of a martini shaker. Add remaining ingredients and ice. Shake well and strain over ice. Garnish with lemon slice, raspberry, and mint leaf.

Ingredients: • 2/3 cup all-purpose flour • 5 1/2 cups flaked coconut • 1/4 teaspoon salt • 1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract Directions: 1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line cookie sheets with parchment paper or aluminum foil.

2. In a large bowl, stir together the flour, coconut and salt. Stir in the sweetened condensed milk and vanilla using your hands until well blended. Use an ice cream scoop to drop dough onto the prepared cookie sheets.

Cookies should be about golf ball size.

3. Bake for 12 to 15 minutes in the preheated oven, until coconut is toasted.

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Trip to Cape Town inspires SPECIALIZING IN SPORTS VISION TRAINING COMMENTARY

By Don Knebel My wife and I recently visited Cape Town to help celebrate the 10th anniversary of Christel House – South Africa. We came back inspired, not only by the city, but by the aspirations of the people.

Cape Town would be a contender for the most naturally-beautiful city in the world with only Table Mountain. Add its broad harbor, and few cities can top it. I expected that. I did not expect Cape Town would also be a remarkably clean and sophisticated city, with wellmaintained streets, orderly traffic and first-class restaurants and museums. Just a few miles away are other surprises. The marvelously-engineered highway on the Cape Peninsula offers spectacular coastal views on a par with those of Highway 1 near Carmel, Calif. The nearby wine country rivals Napa Valley in scenic beauty and, for many, the quality of its product.

Not only beauty makes a trip to Cape Town special. A boat ride from the harbor ends at Robben Island, where Nelson Mandela spent 18 of his 27 years in captivity. The trip to his tiny cell is guided by a former inmate, whose stories of Mandela’s patience and leadership while in prison help explain why he became the father of modern South Africa.

A trip to South Africa is not complete without visiting the “townships” and their euphemis-

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tically-described “informal settlements,” where non-whites by the millions were forced to live during apartheid and still live today because they can’t afford anything better. One of those townships is Langa, where Odwa Futshane, now a registered tour guide with his own Web site, lived with his large family in a room designed for a single person. Odwa, a recent graduate of Christel House, took us to tiny homes made of corrugated metal and covered with tarps to meet children who leave early for school each morning, in uniforms lovingly washed by hand, hoping that someday they can be like Odwa, earning money to help their families and aspiring to live in a modest neighborhood nearby they call, “Beverly Hills.”

On the way back, I stopped in Washington and took a night cruise on the Potomac with my daughter, involuntarily whistling “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” as we passed the Lincoln Memorial. No matter the time and place, the human spirit yearns to be free, not only from bondage, but from misery and despair. In South Africa, people are breaking free. If you get to Cape Town, have Odwa show you around.

Don Knebel is a partner at Barnes & Thornburg LLP You may contact him at dknebel@btlaw.com.

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DISPATCHES » Study: It’s the calories, stupid – Popular diets continue to suggest that lowering or increasing certain dietary components – carbs or protein, say – is the key to weight loss.

Researchers tested three high-calorie diets in a group of 25 healthy, normal-weight people.

Each randomly-assigned diet delivered 954 extra calories per day, but the difference lay in where most of those surplus calories came from, protein or fat. Everyone gained weight, but the participants eating low-protein and, thus, higher-fat diets (carbohydrates were kept constant) gained only about half as much weight as those who ate diets with either normal or high amounts of protein.

-www.time.com » Metabolism boost – Guzzling water just before mealtime helps fill you up with liquid volume – so you wind up eating less food during the meal. In one study, dieters who drank two glasses (16 ounces) of water before

meals consumed fewer calories at meals than those who didn’t, and lost 44 percent more weight during the course of 12 weeks. For an added edge, swap out your water glasses for two mugs of green tea. Research shows green tea may be even more effective than water at curbing appetite at meals, and, as an added bonus, it gives your metabolism a slight boost.

-Today » Brush teeth to prevent cancer? – According to a recent study from Sweden, keeping teeth healthy helps fend off breast cancer.

Researchers followed 3,273 study participants for 16 years.

Among women with periodontal disease, those who were missing one or more molars, were 11 times more likely to develop breast cancer than women who had not lost any molars. Inflammation is a key factor in many chronic diseases, including cancer.

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Hidden causes of weight gain HEALTH

By Dr. Roger Spahr Have you ever watched a TV show that makes losing weight a contest? Superficially, it may seem if you gain weight, you are just an overeating, non-exercising slug. As we enter 2012, weight management emerges as one of the most frequent things for people to consider. If you are someone who eats right, exercises and feels as if you are doing everything correct and still unable to lose weight, there may be some hidden reasons preventing your weight loss.

Hormone imbalances. For men, especially older than 40, they may have reduced testosterone. For women, progesterone, estrogen and testosterone may be unbalanced. There is a strong connection between estrogens and insulin sensitivity/resistance. This is one reason women are often more carbohydrate sensitive than men.

Medications. Antidepressants, medication for high blood pressure, birth control pills and some anti-seizure medicines can affect fat burning and energy metabolism. That does not mean, however, you should stop your medicines. Ask your physician if there is an alternative.

Gastrointestinal malabsorption or inflammation. Gas, bloating, loose stools and reflux disease are frequent signs of poor digestion that lead to inflammation. Inflammation increases water retention and stress hormones, which often block fat burning.

Vitamin and mineral deficiency. You may be starving your body for cofactors, which are required to burn fat, generate energy and detoxify your body.

Too rigorous exercise. We have all heard the expression, “No pain, no gain.” However, did you know overexercising, especially in the early stages of a weight management program, can increase cortisol levels so fat is preserved? Rather than

16 | January 17, 2012

Scarring and sagging ANTI-AGING

By Dr. Barry Eppley Q: I am 74 years old and am really beginning to show my age. I really hate the loose skin on my face and my neck wattle. I have read about a procedure called the QuickLift. I like that it is done under local anesthesia and there is little recovery. Do you think it would be a good choice for me? I have attached some pictures of what I looked like last year at our family Christmas party.

A: The QuickLift is one marketed version of a facelift. This is typically a “mini” lift of the jowls (primarily) and the neck (secondarily and more limited) that is sometimes performed in the office with no general anesthesia. Understandably, this makes it very appealing to some people.

Whether it can meet your expectations and is worth the cost is a key question for every patient who undergoes limited types of plastic surgery.

On the one hand, a QuickLift will not produce an ideal result. So if your goal is a smooth and completely uplifted neck and jowl line, you will be disappointed. If, however, you can accept some improvement is better than none, then it may be a reasonable choice.

Rather than getting hung up on a marketed QuickLift procedure, you would be likely better served to consult with a number of plastic surgeons and get a customized approach to your

facelift needs.

Q: I have 38 DD breasts which sit on my stomach with the nipples pointing downward. I want them lifted back up, but am afraid of the scars of a breast lift. I have seen some pictures and videos of the surgery and, quite frankly, it scares me. I don’t want ugly scars on my breasts. What type of breast lift is available that does not leave any scars?

A: Breast lift surgery is about moving the nipples up to a more central position on the breast mound and reshaping the breast mound so it sits back upon the chest wall. This is done by a geometric rearrangement of the breast skin that involves a fair amount of breast skin removal.

There is no type of breast lift that does not involve scars. With the amount of breast sagging you have, only a full breast lift will do any good.

If the scars you have seen from breast lift surgery look worse than the sagging you now have, then such surgery is not a good choice for you. Satisfaction after breast lift surgery is about feeling that the scars, undesirable as they may be, are a better problem than sagging, unscarred breasts.

Dr. Eppley is an Indianapolis board-certified plastic surgeon.

Comments can be sent to info@ eppleyplasticsurgery.com

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Low thyroid. Actually, low thyroid is less often an issue that you might think. However, persistent stress-hormone release can actually down-regulate pituitary function and yield a normal thyroid-stimulating hormone. Additionally, live in a part of the Midwest known as the goiter belt. Low iodine can lead to a swelling of the thyroid, reduce thyroid production and reduce metabolism.

Any weight loss program should include the correct exercise program and a modification of diet. However, do not leave out consideration of your digestion, supplement support for cofactors, medicine conflicts and stress and hormone factors. At Ailanto Group, we often work with patients who have struggled in the past with weight loss. The key is to find those things that have blocked progress, and correct them.

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DISPATCHES » Local attorney honored – Kena Hollingsworth was named a “Distinguished Fellow” last month by the Indianapolis Bar Foundation.

This small, but select group is chosen by the directors of the Hollingsworth Indianapolis Bar Foundation as a result of their significant contributions to the legal profession, and to our community.

Hollingsworth is a founding partner of Hollingsworth & Zivitz, PC, with offices in Carmel and Indianapolis, where she practices exclusively in the area of family law and family law mediation. » Make money on contributions – Internal Revenue Code Section 280(A)(g) says you can rent out your house for up to 14 days in a calendar year and all the income comes to you tax-free. Now this is what you do: 1. Rent out your house to a qualified charity or church for a meeting once a month. Call a local hotel and get their rates for a conference room to establish a fair rental amount. Say that’s $5,000 for the monthly use over the year. 2. In appreciation for all the good works the charity or church does, and not in exchange for the rental, you make a deductible contribution of $6,000. You’re in the 25 percent bracket, so that saves you $1,500 in federal taxes. What’s the result? The charity spent $5,000 and got

$6,000. It’s up $1,000. You contributed $6,000 and got $5,000 in tax-free cash, plus another $1,500 in tax savings. You’re up $500.

-www.money.msn.com » Small-business owners to hire? – The December edition of SurePayroll’s Small Business Scorecard, a nationally-recognized economic indicator that tracks the health of the U.S. small business economy, was recently released. According to the report, hiring decreased 3.2 percent year-to-date nationwide, and paycheck size also decreased 0.8 percent year-to-date. However, optimism increased to 63 percent from 53 percent the past two months, rising from an all-time low of 33 percent in September. Additionally, 50 percent of small-business owners said they plan to hire in 2012 and 56 percent intend to raise wages for some or all employees. » Survey: CEOs are scared – Nearly half of the CEOs polled in a recent study by RHR International said they feel more pressure to deliver better financial results in a shorter period of time. The study polled 83 CEOs and found they view the economic environment as the biggest threat to their tenure (39 percent), followed by the rate of change in their respective industries (22 percent) and strategy disagreements with their boards (17 percent).

-www.wsj.com

Property protection, plans and policies INSURANCE Q&A

By Dena Shepherd Page Question from Shannon M. from Noblesville: My grown kids have moved back home thanks to the down economy and their lack of job prospects. What kind of insurance concerns should I have with this situation that seems to be getting pretty popular?

Response from Dena Shepherd Page: The down economy has hit everyone, but it’s really punished the folks graduating from college the last couple of years. You trigger some insurance issues anytime someone moves into your home. You could also be heading toward some health insurance issues depending on the age of your children. Let’s start with the property and liability issues.

Personal liability is the big issue to arise with grown kids. Everyone has a legal responsibility to handle the damage they cause to other people and their property. It can be anything from injuring someone accidently in a recreational sport, to misjudging the wind and a tree falling into a neighbor’s house. The liability falls right back on your homeowners policy if you or your child does something like that. The problem that can arise is where your grown kid actually lives. Maybe all of their stuff is under your roof,

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but are they sleeping there every night?

You might consider getting a renter’s policy in their name. It has the benefit of property coverage, but the main benefit is there will be no fight over liability coverage if a conflict arises. This is an important issue, and verifying with your independent agent that you and your grown kids are protected is a quick and easy thing to do.

Health insurance is the other major issue that affects grown children not eligible for their own coverage. The Affordable Care Act extended the age limit children can stay on a parent’s health plan to age 26.

Many options at many price points are still available once someone exceeds the age restriction. Independent insurance agents are usually able to help you secure an individual health policy and help weigh your options. Going without coverage is an absolute last-resort option. It is extremely risky and will make it very difficult to get quality coverage in the future.

Dena Shepherd Page is with Shepherd Insurance & Finanacial Services. Have an insurance question you need answered? Send it to asktheadvisor@shepherdins.com.

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Always improving BUSINESS

By David Cain I’m always on the lookout for ways to improve. And, as importantly, I’m always on the prowl for easy ways to remember what I know and apply it. Today, I offer four tips for improvement.

Get in their face. Nothing replaces being face to face. Whether a crucial conversation or a pleasant one, you can accomplish more when you chat in person. Relationships are better.

Communication is better. Everything can be better if you meet in person. And, if the conversation is tough, face to face will usually garner better outcomes. People are more likely to crumble like a house of cards when confronted by the beady eyes of another human being. I never negotiate on the phone; the results are always subpar compared to being face to face.

Always stay in your lane. Drivers and swimmers both know you have to stay in your lane or you’ll have real problems – you’ll wreck. The same applies at your office. Stay in your lane, do what you are good at and stay out of everyone else’s business. Stay in your lane is a softer way to say, mind your own business. Regardless, it’s a good thing to remember if you want to maximize your productivity – focus on your own game.

Play one hole at a time. When you play

golf, every hole is different and presents its own challenges. It’s easy to write off the entire round if you are having a bad day. However, you can save it if you play one hole at a time. Forget the round and play the challenges of that hole as they appear. What you find is a better overall score because you leave the baggage of the previous missteps behind if you consider each hole its own game.

Obey the law of unrealized losses. I invested in the stock market a few years back. While the outcome wasn’t great, I did get a new perspective on unrealized losses. If you have lost money but not sold the stock, it’s an unrealized loss.

What a great term. If you sell when you are down, you lose. If you don’t sell, you haven’t really lost yet. Similarly, in life and business, if you quit trying, you lose. You will never lose until you quit trying. It’s an unrealized loss as long as you are still in the game trying. If you give up, you realize your losses. So obey the law of unrealized losses and never give up; never quit trying.

David Cain works at MediaSauce, a digital media and online marketing company in Carmel. David welcomes your questions or comments at David.Cain@MediaSauce. com.

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» Stocks to watch this year – Abbott Laboratories (ABT) Abbott is splitting into two companies to “unlock value for shareholders” in January 2013. That probably caps appreciation in the stock. But it also should put a floor under the shares, since existing shareholders will be inclined to hold until then. Add that a big hunk of Abbott’s revenues come from its faster-growing nutritional business, making this one of the most balanced of the big drug companies. And this is a low-risk way to collect a 3.4 percent yield.

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Tea Buds Brewing Co. Tea Buds is bringing some west coast tastes to Carmel.

The company opened its doors in the Arts & Design District Dec. 17 and offers a wide selection of loose teas and bubble teas, all served both hot and cold. Allison Fosnaugh, one of Tea Buds’ five co-owners, said the latter is popular on the coasts but is largely unknown in this area.

“It’s basically a flavored iced tea and you can pick from about 20 different flavors,” she said.

“About 90 percent of the people who come in have never heard of it.”

Still, the bubble teas are among their most popular items, and she said the few people who do know of these drinks are excited to see them on the menu. With bubble teas, customers can choose flavors such as tapioca, strawberry, mango and others. Fosnaugh said these flavors are

placed at the bottom of the cup and are sucked up with the tea using a large straw.

For those wanting to enjoy Tea Buds’ tea at home, any of the 40 types of loose tea can be purchased by the ounce. Tea Buds also sells teapots, pastries and coffee, Fosnaugh said.

In the future, she said the business could begin offering tea parties and classes to educate attendees on various types of teas and their respective health benefits.

Address: 111 Main St., Suite 115 | Phone: 249-8480 | Website: www.teabudsbrewing.com Owners: Skip Fioretti, Allison Fosnaugh, Donna Lauinger, Amanda Purdie and Sam Tancredi

18 | January 17, 2012

Carmel Chamber of Commerce members can receive special members-only discounts on Health Insurance. Contact Wharton Insurance for more information.

Scott M. Wharton, LUTCF 3091 E. 98th St., Suite 150 Indianapolis, Indiana 46280 (317) 663-4138 www.wifsinc.com

Scott Wharton is a registered representative with and securities are offered through LPL Financial, 9785 Towne Centre Drive, San Diego, CA, 92121-1968, USA (800) 877-7210. Member FINRA. Scott Wharton is a registered representative are offered through LPLowned Financial, Towne Centre Drive, set Sanforth Diego, CA, has 92121-1968, USAfrom (800)sources 877-7210.

Member Wharton Insurance and Financial Services, with Inc.,and andsecurities LPL Financial are independently and 9785 operated.

The information herein been derived believed to beFINRA/SIPC... reliable, but Wharton Insurance and Financial Services, Inc., and LPL Financial are independently owned and operated. The information set forth herein has been derived from sources believed to be reliable, but is not not guaranteed guaranteed as as to to accuracy accuracy and and does does not not purport purport to to be be complete complete analysis analysis of of the the securities, securities, companies companies or or industries industries involved. involved. The The opinions opinions expressed expressed herein herein are are those those of of the the authors authors and and not not itit is necessarily those of LPL Financial.

Additional information is available upon request. necessarily those of LPL Financial. Additional information is available upon request.

Current in Carmel

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DISPATCHES » Chrome adds ‘No SOPA’ – The Stop Online Piracy Act, the Internet’s least favorite piece of legislation, may have been tabled in Congress until later this month. But the muchhated bill’s opponents aren’t wasting time in mobilizing anti-SOPA forces to boycott and protest SOPA-supporting companies. Two coders have released No SOPA, an extension program for Google’s Chrome browser that warns users every time they visit a site owned by a company that supports SOPA, displaying a red bar at the top of the browser that reads “SOPA Supporter! This company is a known supporter of the dangerous ‘Stop Online Piracy Act.’” The plug-in doesn’t block those SOPA-supporting sites.

-www.forbes.com » Save on texting plans – With the introduction of Apple’s iMessage and other apps that let consumers message each other for free, experts say there’s little reason to shell out $10 to $50 per month for a text-message bundle. At the least, that could put an extra $120 back in the budget for 2012. Just don’t

expect it to stay there. The average smartphone user consumed 435 MB of data per month during the first quarter of 2011, according to Nielsen. That’s an increase of 89 percent, compared with the previous year and well above the 200 MB threshold for AT&T’s and Verizon’s cheapest data plans.

Verizon also nixed its unlimited data plan this year, while AT&T introduced a plan to throttle the speed of its heaviest users.

-www.smartmoney.com » Consumer Report’s top car – Consumer Reports has ranked the redesigned 2012 Toyota Camry tops among family sedans. The midsize Camry has led car sales in 13 of the last 14 years, trailing only some pickup models. The CR review cites approvingly a nicer interior in the 2012 Camry, along with crisper handling and better gas mileage. CR reviewers tested all three versions of the Camry. The fourcylinder model registered 27 miles per gallon, while the V-6 version hit 26 MPG. The hybrid Camry got a chart-topping 38 MPG in combined driving.

-www.cbsnews.com

Scams of security programs TECHNOLOGY

By Ken Colburn My computer is infected with one of those fake anti-virus programs, and I’m being told the best way to get rid of it is to wipe Windows out and start over. Is this true?

- Melody Rogue software developers have been having a field day infecting millions of unsuspecting Internet users with fake security programs that pop up claiming your computer is infected.

If you fall for this very common scam, you could end up with a real mess on your hands.

The “easiest” way for a lazy technician to fix the problem is to wipe everything out and start over again, so if this is the first solution suggested by whoever is helping you, I would suggest getting a second opinion. Be cautious with DIY fixes you find on the Internet.

In our repair facilities around the country, only 10-20 percent of the computers we service require we wipe out Windows completely, so the chances are good you can avoid it in most cases.

When this scam first started appearing years ago, it was relatively easy to download and run a cleanup program that would disinfect your computer, so the bad guys stepped up their game.

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In order to properly disinfect the computer, you must boot to a clean device (CD, DVD, flash drive or another hard drive) that already has a set of the proper cleanup tools loaded on it.

If you start a computer that has an infected operating system, it makes cleaning it difficult, or in some cases impossible. We generally remove the infected hard drive from our customer’s computer and connect it as a second hard drive on a clean computer to perform the disinfection.

You should never pay any online resource associated wit h any type of popup warning, unless you know for sure it’s the brand of security software you purchased and installed on your computer.

If you don’t know the name of your security program or what it looks like, take a minute to learn now so you don’t get fooled in the future.

If you have fallen for this scam in the past, the Federal Trade Commission is in the process of reimbursing some victims based on a settlement agreement with a number of the scam companies.

Ken Colburn is the president of Data Doctors. E-mail him at kenc@ datadoctors.com.

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                                        

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January 17, 2012 | 19

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Education without the Bible SPIRITUALITY

By Bob Walters The 11th-grade, public high school English students were struggling to understand “The Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass,” the autobiography of the brilliant 19th century orator, abolitionist and former slave.

The curriculum of 11th-grade English in Indiana is based on American literature, while 11th-grade social studies, synergistically, explores U.S. history. Douglass (1818-1895) is a key figure in our nation’s literary and civil rights history.

Douglass, born a slave, learned to read (illegally) as a young boy by learning the alphabet from his owner’s wife, and then by reading the New Testament. Douglass later taught other slaves (illegally) to read the New Testament.

While American public high schools basically did not exist until after the Civil War, most early education involved reading the Bible. Often, it was the only book available.

The famous part of this particular Douglass story is slave owner Hugh Auld’s rebuke to his wife. Auld said, basically, that “if you teach slaves to read, they’ll become dissatisfied with their condition and insist on freedom … and we can’t have that.”

Now let’s return to the high school English students flummoxed by Douglass’ erudite and theologically-infused writing. I wasn’t surprised the students didn’t immediately appreciate the book’s reference to the semi-obscure “curse of Ham.” But I was flabbergasted some students thought it was a reference to food, specifically, to not eating pork. And I was floored an adja-

“I am 70 years old. I have been taking medication for blood pressure and cholesterol. Needless to say, I was worried if I could start an exercise program safely. John Karesh made it a nice, gradual transition and I am surprised what I can do now. I feel better now than when I was in my 50s.”

-Janice H.

cent phrase containing the word “scriptural” was impenetrable because the students didn’t know what “scriptural” meant.

This is how far removed many modern high school students are from the intelligence of Jesus Christ, of the Bible and of centuries of theological thought and discourse. This isn’t about prayer in school. This is about students not being able to understand major parts of our nation’s history and, really, the majority of classical Western literature. Our culture is intellectually crippled by anti-Bible, no-Bible, non-God, Jesus-is-a-myth, “don’t judge me” obeisance to modernity and political correctness.

“Ham,” of course, was the youngest son of Noah. Read Genesis 9:18-27 to understand why Douglass would talk about Ham in relation to slavery. “Scriptural” means “from the Bible” (or other holy book if one practices another faith).

I thought the students were going to faint when I pulled out a Bible to explain the curse of Ham. “You can’t have a Bible in school!” one exclaimed.

That’s how far we’ve slid.

Thankfully many public schools do study the Bible, if only in a literary or historical context.

But to read the Bible – in public – for what it really and truly means?

Why, that’s illegal. Just ask Frederick Douglass.

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Bob Walters (rlwcom@aol.com, www.commonchristianity.blogspot. com) substitute teaches and understands – deeply – why so many public school teachers pray.

The Bar None

Sunday, January 22nd, 9:30am

SENIOR START-UP PLAN Free week of training with the purchase of a 36-session package.

It's never too late to get fit.

Geared to address specific concerns about personal fitness and physical limitations. Dedicated one-to-one training.

Offer good thru January 31, 2012

Live music • Free Eats • Coffee Bar

Featuring: • Tatum Parker:

10 year old CEO at Tatum’s Bags of Fun Ministry Performing her new song, "Let Me Be"

• Tristan Oshier • Charlie Shuman • Judy Query • Nadia Zimmerman • The North Park Band & special guest:

99 East Carmel Drive, Suite G Carmel, IN 46032 317.817.0001 | www.pptcarmel.com

3 year old drummer, "Little Hayden Rogers"

Carmel, we want to hear from you!

This is YOUR newspaper, so please send your story ideas, news tips, news releases, letters and photographs to our managing editor, Kevin Kane, at kevin@youarecurrent.com 20 | January 17, 2012

For questions or music lessons, call Bobby Hayden: (317) 416-1160

bar none Musical talent showcase. Up close and personal.

Bar None sponsored by North Park Community Church, located in The Fountains 484 E. Carmel Dr., Carmel, Indiana, 46032

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DISPATCHES » Washing jeans unnecessary? – Here’s a New Year’s resolution: Give up washing your jeans for months at a time. Even if you wear them five days a week, no one will ever know, according to a new study from Australia.

For her Master’s thesis, Melbourne University student Tullia Jack found 30 volunteers who agreed to wear their jeans at least five days a week for three months. One zealous participant, concerned his pants weren’t getting dirty enough, even went running in them and slept in them at night. In the end, the three-month-wear jeans didn’t stink, and they didn’t even look all that dirty. A scientist suggested the lack of odor was a result of bacteria reaching “a peak population” and stopping growth. Additionally, Jack said most stains came out naturally through everyday use.

-www.theglobeandmail.com

» Blending basics – Problem: Your makeup stops at the jawline. Solution: Be sure to brush a little foundation on the neck area.

You don’t want your face to be one color and your neck another.

-www.bhg.com

www.youarecurrent.com

provides consulting and tax services for executives with exposure to one-stock portfolios, multi-state income and earnings overseas.

» Wardrobe on a budget – Dressing for success doesn’t have to be impossible before you’ve attained it already. To build a solid wardrobe on a budget, follow these tips: Buy work clothes in bulk in low-maintenance fabrics like no-iron cotton; for cashmere items, look for two-ply yarn; for high heels, you only need two pairs – black and brown – to match everything in your closet.

–www.goodhousekeeping.com » Wine for the beginner – Wanting to get into collecting wine, but don’t know where to begin? Here are some things to consider before jumping into the hobby: Don’t fill your cellar with wines you like at the moment, as your tastes will change; buy experimental bottles, rather than full cases; keep notes on all the wines you try; don’t seek out exclusively high-rated wines … it’s better to drink widely and build up a varied palette.

–www.wineanorak.com

Beyond the door

DESIGN

By Vicky Earley An interior door is one of those subtle necessities we tend to take for granted when building or remodeling. Of course, we know if we want solid wood, or if the budget is more in line with solid or hollow core. We know if we want a modern, flat door, or if we crave a more traditional panel door.

But what if all the doors in a house are not the same? What if we step aside from what is normal and emphasize a space with a door that will command attention as an architectural detail?

Like trim or molding, most doors go fairly unnoticed unless there is a dramatic reason to focus on it; the impact on the room can be immediate. Unless building, most of us purchase or rent a home with the doors already installed so we often look right past them. Even existing doors can be changed!

If your home has a space that would benefit from the drama of a decorative door, as usual, style of this new architectural element needs to flow with the rest of the décor.

French doors, when used in an unexpected place, have impact and are reasonably priced.

These are doors with a frame around one or

Somerset CPAs

more glass panes, which are clear or frosted. There are a variety of styles and sizes of these panels, all of which are meant to maximize light in a room.

The first time I used one of these doors in one of those surprise spots was in place of a door leading to a newlyremodeled lower level. This new living space felt far more like the rest of the house than a basement with the lighter visual weight of the French door!

A heavy, wood panel door or inlay can be the unexpected detail in a space, as well. A door with carving will probably be the star of any room! In addition, heavier molding around a door can have a dramatic impact on the appearance.

If a new door is not an option, the interest can be the result of color. A red door in a gray room is a fabulous modern twist on the usual, while a muted accent color brings new life to a more traditional space.

Vicky Earley is the principal designer for Artichoke Designs in downtown Carmel. If you have an interior design question, please contact artichokedesigns@aol.com.

Susan Bradford, CPA Jay Feller, CPA Kevin O’Connell, CPA, JD SomersetCPAs.com 317.472.2200 info@somersetcpas.com

“Indy’s Oldest Heating & Cooling Co.” 129th Anniversary Sale

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Mon-Fri 8am-5pm. Thiele 639-1111. Expires 2/17/12.

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callthiele.com January 17, 2012 | 21

Brighter Days

• Hair • Skin • Nails • Massage

This winter, keep your little black dress hanging in the closet and opt for a brighter shade for your event instead!

Teal, Papaya and Amethyst are in!

Choose any one of these bold colors to update your look this season. Whether you opt for a little flash of color with a large cuff, or get decked out from head to toe in one of these bold hues, you are sure to win with these eye-popping colors.

Wear a silk dress in one of these jeweled tones with black pumps and metallic jewelry to really complete your look.

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Stick to Your Resolutions!

2012 is the year to be the best “you” possible! It takes dedication and persistence to really follow through with resolutions, but with organization anything is possible. Here are a few tips to make this year fab, fit and fresh.

Fabulous Make an appointment with a personal shopper at your favorite department store to freshen up your look. We are great fans of the experts at J.Crew, Nordstrom, and Saks Fifth Avenue. Also, stay up to date with the latest trends by following us here on the blog!

Fit Get organized! Go out and treat yourself to a brand-new planner or calendar. There is just something about scheduling a fitness date that keeps people committed to following through. When you plan a regular week, pencil in your workouts the same way you would regular meetings and other engagements. By scheduling these “appointments” to exercise you will not miss a workout!

Get new gear! When you have a brand new pair of running shoes or a fabulous and comfortable outfit you’ll be dying to get to the gym and test them out. It’s the same feeling you get when there is an incredible dress you can’t wait to wear for a big event.

Opt for personal training sessions! The start of a new year is ideal for beginning a new workout regimen and assessing your fitness level. Setting new goals, meeting a personal trainer and working together to achieve your needs is one sure way to see results. A trainer is perfect for those looking to maximize their time spent at the gym. Be sure to ask plenty of questions and look to be challenged for best results.

Fresh It’s 2012 and time for a big change! Let go of those wasteful habits and focus this year on giving back to your community and the environment. Take shorter showers, volunteer your time at a local community supported agriculture farm, remember to recycle and make time for your family. By doing things that make others feel good you’ll inevitably gain a new, fresh perspective.

How to Wear: Your Grandpa Cardigan

The “grandpa” cardigan is this winter’s favorite piece… Its comfortable, chic, and super convenient for staying warm. The only thing to remember is that you’re rocking your outfit, not your chair! To make it fun, keep the hemline of your dress or skirt short and the sweater long. Add a belt for a dressier look.

®

Enjoy!

Free brow wax with any facial appointment (a $15 value) Offer good through Feb. 29, 2012.

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When to improve your PLACE REMODELING

By David Decker It’s one thing to plan a custom home-improvement project and know when enough is enough.

It can be far more difficult to know when to say “now” – to know when it’s the right time to undertake a major redesign of a kitchen or bathroom. It can be as simple as questioning your home’s overall PLACE – Performance, Livability, Affordability, Comparability and Excitability. For example …

Performance – How does your kitchen or bathroom function? Do the appliances work?

Is there enough room? Enough light? Are there enough power outlets? Is the plumbing sound?

Is there adequate air circulation? Is there enough storage? Enough cabinets? How does everything work?

Livability – Is there enough room in the kitchen for all the cooks and guests who might congregate there? Is the bathroom location convenient? Is it private enough? Does the kitchen welcome and enhance multiple family activities?

Affordability – On the front end, do you have the budget? On the back end, are you wasting money on power, gas and water due to old, inefficient appliances and fixtures? Do you really know what the improvements would cost?

Comparability – What is the value of other

Soft-filtered water ... not a hard decision homes in your neighborhood? What is their level of up-to-date design and fixtures? What’s the financial equation of your intended home improvement versus its effect on your home’s marketplace value?

Excitability – Do you enjoy your home?

Does it reflect your tastes and provide you with the comfort and space you desire?

Obviously the questions are endless and, honestly, people are often afraid to even seek the answers.

They assume major home improvements will cost too much or take too long. They don’t know what they want or even what’s out there to get.

Our advice is to evaluate your PLACE, and call a home improvement professional for some answers. It’ll help any homeowner to decide when “now” is the right time for improvements.

David Decker is president of the Affordable Companies which include Affordable Kitchens and Bathrooms and now Affordable Custom Flooring. They are based in Carmel (317-595-9540, www. the-affordablecompanies.com). Email home improvement questions to david.decker@the-affordablecompanies.com.

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A brief apology HUMOR

By Dick Wolfsie I recently spent an hour in another man’s underwear. Telling the story of how I took a complete stranger’s briefs may help me locate the original owner and wash away the guilt I am feeling.

The story began as I arrived at the fitness center hoping to improve my standing on the racquetball ladder. In preparation for that day’s trip to the courts, I not only packed all my athletic equipment, but I threw in an extra pair of socks and undershorts, so once I finished losing, I could shower, sit in the hot tub and then leave refreshed.

After the match, I placed my change of clothes on a bench and stepped to a nearby mirror to comb my hair. I then returned to my locker and dressed when I noticed the man next to me frantically looking through his gym bag, then opening and slamming locker doors.

“You didn’t take my underwear, did you?” he asked.

Who would stoop that low? True, I have not led a totally crime-free life. At the supermarket, I’ve pilfered an occasional pistachio from the display pile, double-sampled the quiche at Sam’s Club, and just once at a local fast food place, I refilled my water cup with a shot of Sierra Mist.

When I returned home I was caught unaware

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– I caught myself in someone else’s underwear.

In my duffle bag, I found both the pair I played racquetball in and the extra pair I had packed.

I was scared to look, but I undid my belt and took a peek. Sure enough, I was wearing Hanes, a cut above my usual Fruit of the Loom.

8@979*B-%#--(,*+2%)'&*=*C?A?D@@@* 8<89E*F2)GH!(%-/*F#I*=*CED;>@J$(* 10737 Stratton Circle - $969,000 5833 Stone Pine Trail - $2,650/mo 8@979*B-%#--(,*+2%)'&*=*C?A?D@@@*%/%B*6*2),9% <%=,9$"">%5%M%-#00@'%A/0B%=/3)C%DE"F43"$:%A">,%E*3) 8<89E*F2)GH!(%-/*F#I*=*CED;>@J$(* <%=,9$"">%5%?%-#00@?%A/0B%=/3)C%DE"F43"$:%A">,%E*3) %/%G/2,F I didn’t know where to put myself. However, 4 Bedroom & 2 Full/2 Half Bath, Two-Story Home with 4 Bedroom & 2>,63%%/69%G"6#2%$"">%*6%% Full/2 Half Bath, Two-Story Home with G/2,>,63%*6%(/$>,0H% 8@979*B-%#--(,*+2%)'&*=*C?A?D@@@* >;77*B-(,&*E2,&*F%#2'*=*CGDA>@H$(* <%=,9$"">%5%?%-#00@?%A/0B%=/3)C%DE"F43"$:%A">,%E*3) %/%B*6*2),9% <%=,9$"">%5%M%-#00@'%A/0B%=/3)C%DE"F43"$:%A">,%E*3) %/%G/2,F a finished basement in Carmel. finished basement and bonus room in Carmel.

ICJK<%3"3/0%2L%B3H% (/$>,0H%%KCI??%3"3/0%2L%B3H% I did put the unfamiliar underwear immediately G/2,>,63%*6%(/$>,0H% >,63%%/69%G"6#2%$"">%*6%% 7,854 total sq ft.

3,875 total sq ft. <%=,9$"">%5%?%-#00@?%A/0B%=/3)C%DE"F43"$:%A">,%E*3) %/%B*6*2),9% <%=,9$"">%5%?%-#00@?%A/0B%=/3)C%DE"F43"$:%A">,%E*3) %B*6*2),9% ICJK<%3"3/0%2L%B3H% (/$>,0H%%KCI??%3"3/0%2L%B3H% in the laundry. After all, at some point I would G/2,>,63%*6%(/$>,0H% G/2,>,63%/69%G"6#2%$"">%*6%% ICJK<%3"3/0%2L%B3H% (/$>,0H%%MCJIK%3"3/0%2L%B3H% have to return them. But to whom? I didn’t +(,-#)-*.(/,*+#%,&''*0(%*#*1%23#-&*-(4%5*** ("63/+3%8/$0,6,%40/;0,%B"$%/%N$*O/3,%3"#$P%%% 6789:*;<;=8>;;****(%****6789:*>?@=9?A@* Contact John Carnell for a private tour!

Contact Marlene Slagle for a private tour!

QM'IR%J<JF'KJJ%%%%"$%%%%QM'IR%S'JFIJMJ% know the guy’s name, just his waistband size. +(,-#)-*.(/,*+#%,&''*0(%*#*1%23#-&*-(4%5*** ("63/+3%8/$0,6,%40/;0,%B"$%/%N$*O/3,%3"#$P%%% 6789:*;<;=8>;;****(%****6789:*>?@=9?A@* QM'IR%J<JF'KJJ%%%%"$%%%%QM'IR%S'JFIJMJ% (317) 848-1588 or (317) 590-7960 (317) 848-1588 or (317) 918-7838 So, if you are the man whose underwear I accidentally took, you have a right to be upset.

You probably think I was telling you a little white lie. I know I’d feel the same way if I were in your shoes. Wait, I better check those, too.

The bottom line is I didn’t know what I was getting into. You can see I am breaking my New Year’s resolution to cut back on horrible puns.

I assume at this point you do not want your shorts back. And so, I would like to buy you a 12-pack of Hanes just to say I’m sorry. This will *Excl Parts & Specials put you 11 pairs ahead. Let’s make a clean start New Customers Only in 2012.

Dick Wolfsie is an author, columnist, and speaker. Contact him at wolfsie@aol.com.

Here is my handle, here is my spout HUMOR

By Mike Redmond My sinuses hate me.

Of course, when you are a sinus sufferer, everyone knows. After all, it’s kind of hard to miss the clues – the snorkeling sound of your breathing, the dark circles under your eyes, the tendency to go through the day with your head tilted back trying to drain the swamp (which makes conversation difficult, to say nothing of navigation). And because everyone knows, everyone also has a helpful suggestion or a home remedy.

The one I hear most often is to use a Neti Pot. These are little devices which you pour salt water into one nostril so it runs out the other. They are an ancient method of nose clearing, which also serve to remind us if man were meant to have salt water in his nostrils, he would be a flounder.

A variation on the Neti Pot is the Neti Pump, which is a squeeze bottle that shoots salt water into your nose. You can duplicate the sensation by stretching your nostril over the business end of a garden hose and turning the spigot.

At any rate, these are what people have told me to use for my sinuses, and having used them, I can only wonder if they really meant it, or were playing some kind of joke on me. The pot,

24 | January 17, 2012

which looks like a little teapot (short, stout, handle, spout) usually resulted in me pouring salt water down my shirtfront. With the pump I had more success, if you define success as squirting water into your nose until your eyes cross.

Meanwhile, I keep looking for relief. Hot-andsour soup from my favorite Chinese restaurant offers temporary relief, but I can’t very well go around eating soup all day (although if I could, that’s the soup I would choose). Same goes for my other favorite sinus-clearing foods: tamales, chili and buffalo wings, although their sinusclearing properties are usually offset by heartburn.

Anyway, the only thing to do, I fear, is to ride it out, just like I do every year when my sinuses do this to me, but I’m worried. My sinus trouble has usually come along once a year. This go-round started in 2011 and is continuing into 2012. Does it count for one year or two?

I guess I’ll find out as the year goes on. Maybe I’ll find out what I did to my sinuses to make them hate me so. At least I’ll get some more soup out of the deal.

Mike Redmond is an author, journalist, humorist and speaker. Write him at mike@ mikeredmondonline.com or P.O. Box 44385, Indianapolis, IN 46244.

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